Nobody Panic - How to DJ with Alexandra Haddow

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

Comedian Alexandra Haddow DJs super cool night Indie Amnesty and so pops in to teach Tessa how to put together a fun DJ set for Stevie's wedding party, after Tessa admits she wanted to create a 20 minute long track with record scratch sounds she can “mime to”. Features many top tips on how to become a musical vibe merchant.Alexandra will be on tour with her debut stand-up show 'Not My Finest Hour' from 27 January 2024 to 17 February 2024. For tickets and information head to linktr.ee/alexandrahaddow.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. a DJ. I know what it was. Okay. Welcome to Nobody Panic.

Please. Tessa, welcome. Hello. So you can't see this, but she's holding her ear. And now she's put on some headphones. Welcome to the club. Up next, mixing the beats. Great.

Shubb, shubb. Shubb. Shubb. Is Alexander Haddo. Alexander. I don't think I didn't say it. I did. Alexander Hamilton. Did you ever think of mixing that as something for your comedy? Well, now I will. I feel like an aunt at Christmas being like, you know what you should do for your comedy?

Alexander Hamilton. Your name sounds a bit like Alexander Hamilton. Do you know what you should do? You should get on that Apollo. You should get on the Apollo and then do some DJ. Is there a comedian in the country whose art has not said, you should get on that Apollo. Yes.

So let's introduce Alexandra. Alex is so, yeah, Alex has come in because multiple things. Alice is a comedian, excellent, just in Edinburgh. Is it going on tour with not my favourite. finest hour. Yes. I haven't seen the show yet. debut hour.

Oh, it's awful. No, it's not. Everyone has told me to see it. I saw a little bits of it right when you were previewing, but I haven't seen the whole thing. I'm very, very excited. She gigs 17 times a day. It's absolutely incredible. It's the hardest working comedian I've ever known.

You're out there. You're on the road. You're pleasing the people. But the tour starts January 27th. And yet, yeah, you're doing like Manchester, Bristol, Brighton, Leicester, Leeds, Edinburgh at all of the best cities. Yeah, it's sort of a mini one. Go and get tickets.

for that. But the reason that we're talking to Alex is she also DJ's a night called Indy Amnesty. It's like Margate in London. Yeah, Marguet in London mostly. Anyone listening who has never heard of the night? Could you sum up the night for us? Essentially, okay, so in November 2019, I was walking past a poster for the Subways. Do you remember them? Oh my God, yes, I do. Rock and Roll Queen. And it said they were playing in London. And I was like, that's mad. I didn't even know they were still going. I saw that and I thought, God, I really miss Indy Nights. And I feel like there's no just pay a five or in, you know, do that.

And I tweeted if I just did that, if I hired somewhere, you could all pay a five were in and we just danced to indie music and pretended it was 2008 again, would people be up for it? And it went mental and it went viral. And I'd never, I'm not a club promoter. I've never done anything in my life. And I just hired Bethlehem Green Working Men's at the time for the 12th of April 2020. Oh, a famously excellent date. Yes.

Yes. And it sold out in like a day. Wow. And I had no idea who I was going to get to DJ or anything at the time. And yeah, eventually the first one happened in August 2021. And it was great. I honestly thought about it as a one off. I didn't even DJ the first one.

I couldn't DJ. And yeah, now it's become a regular thing, which is really weird. So I asked Alex to DJ my wedding party that I'm having. I'm so excited. Because it was like, I really like, some indie thing. I was like, oh, obviously. Because I was going to invite to the wedding. And so it was like, do both.

Yeah. Work and in that? No, the dream. And then I thought, you know, get like friends to DJ. because that's like a thing too. And maybe out of the seven friends that I've asked, some of them doing like two, like together, like a rail card, but for DJ.

Exactly. They, only like, two of them have ever done it before. Everyone else has been like, what? I'd love to do it, but like, I don't know. Tessa, do you want to tell everybody what you were going to do? Because you've got a guest spot. You were going to create one long song? Not what I'm going to.

That is what I've done, Stevie. Okay, so Stevie's asked me to DJ. We've talked about on the podcast before that DJing. is my nightmare. Like my true... It won't be by the time that I reveal

the fourth wall which is that it's very easy. I'm so, so excited that you're here to help me do it. I feel hot. I've been waking up in the night thinking about doing my 20 minutes.

I have to do it. I can't. I must. Okay. I must. Sorry. No, don't be sorry.

I'm so excited. I'd be helpful because it started with like not DJing. It was like, you know, when you're at a house party someone just goes over, oh, do you want to pop...

Pop a playlist on. Yeah. And you're like, looking at someone else's phone on their Spotify, just being like, all I can think of is happy birthday. Yeah. Or just like, just something so mad,

like just putting on like bat out of hell, just like buying some time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just like anything. China in your hands quickly.

Get it on. They're like Arthur, like theme tune or something. Just like anything to like just give me one second. That's a bang over. Yeah. Hey, hey. It's a one of five. That's on your playlist.

Oh my God. Please. Okay. So, and then I would made myself this like emergency playlist at parties I would be like oh this is

people have responded to this that's good I never made anything particularly good it wouldn't have brought me much time but my even thinking about it

my shoulders are going so high I'm so anxious like I'm always very very nervous about my music taste and like basically be

that's being in charge of the vibes for all the people it's just so intense you guys are comedians you know about being in charge of viking

you're so good at that's fine and yet I'm working in a medium music which is not my medium of course I can't really hear songs.

I can't sing. I can't. May I just liken it? May I liken it to? In this particular scenario, you will know everyone there. You can do anything. And if it's really bad, that will be excellent. Because everyone would just be like, no what?

Nobody is expecting you to turn up. And it'd be like, fat boy slim in his heyday. I don't know what is expecting that. And also, no one is. that from you. What we want is Tessa and Tessa's brain creating a playlist and how fun and eclectic and mad and

silly and fun that would be. Also, the bangers that you like will all like. Also like Ed Gamble's doing one and he's like, I'm going to ruin the vibe. I only like heavy metal. I'm like that'll be really funny. No one likes heavy metal at the wedding. It's going to be a terrible five minutes. This is the thing as well.

Don't just play what you like. Don't play heavy metal at someone's wedding because you're like, well, I like that. It's like, no, it's someone else's wedding. Sure, drop a couple in. Yes, right. That will be funny. But just to say, what CV is worried about what I've done is,

what I was going to do was make one long track on audacity that was just continuous, and then have that, er, er, noise, like, and my minutes. I think that's how she's gone for 20 minutes, because you can't make a file longer because it would probably be too much memories. Yeah, so it's like, a lot of me being like, I'll know that it's coming up, the shift, and then I'll be layering, and then I'm like, ha, ha, ha, I think the important distinction to make it is there's two types of DJs. Right, right, yeah, ready.

And I am one type, which is I play tracks and I make sure they don't stop and there's silence and then there's another track. I am not like a mixer. Yes, okay. You're thinking of, that's a mixer person. I am not that. Any real DJs listening will be like, who is this interloper? Okay, which is me. But you don't want a mixer at your wedding.

Of course you don't. They get really into it. You're like, what are you doing? Exactly. And then they're like, God, drop the beat. No, it's not that type of thing. And neither's in de amnesty. I couldn't do that.

So it's the mix they're in charge of when the beat drops. There's basically what I'm trying to say is there's someone like Fat Boy Slim and like dance and house DJs that are, I mean, that is a whole different form. That is an art form where there's like creating songs on the hop. Yes, exactly. Well, that's what I wanted people to think I was doing it. You don't have to be doing that because you'll be playing the art of theme tune. And you just need to bring in, you know.

Happy birthday. He's going to see you mimes. Right on the first guy. She's a mix of DJ. Oh my God, sorry. This is how it opens. Is it the Pirates of the Caribbean theme tune? Oh my God.

Because I was trying to get it to like beat drop into the next door. No, no, no, no. So this is a whole different thing. Okay. We're going to be playing tracks. Okay, playing track. And so when you do it, there's a pause, is there, between every... No, that's the point.

That's the point. So when you see a DJ with headphones on and they're like, they seem to be doing something very important. Yeah. What you're doing is you're listening to how the next song you're going to play comes in. So if it comes in really slowly and really gradually, you don't want to wait for the last one to play out and then press play because there's going to be people on the dance floor being like,

what the fuck's coming next? You know, because it's coming in so slowly. So you've got to start playing that one. Let's say there's a 20 second really slow intro. You've got to start playing that 20 seconds before the last one finishes. Yeah. So it's just all you're doing is ensuring smooth transition. And is that what you're doing?

That's what I'm doing. Okay. Yeah. You, like, I wouldn't even know how to put, like, a beat over the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack, sadly. Because now I think we're going to look into that. Okay. But what we should do for Stevie's wedding is this is the real art form and this is where it's sort of similar to comedy. Like, you wouldn't play that at the start of the night where people are like, what's happening?

You don't want to play common people at 8 p.m. Right. When people are coming in having a drink. Okay. You know? You want that when people are off. their face, ideally about half 12. And they're screaming the lyrics.

They're screaming the lyrics. They don't give a shit about how they look. Everyone loves it. People that are not even yet born, love that song, and know all the words. Yes. So you've got to hit that peak. What you can also do is speed that up a little bit, imperceptibly the Pirates of the Caribbean. You could

almost drop that at like 11pm when people are like to go on at 11. Yeah. So like the DJs are going to be between like nine and 12 maybe. Although Lola, my friend's been like, I want to be doing house at two in the morning. And I'm like absolutely bring us home.

So that's great. Also think my partner, he loves film soundtrack. So I think you starting with the Pirates of the Cabot. It's like perfect. That's his favourite song. My favourite song. It's also a lovely melding of the two. And at that point, it will really announce you

as like a different sort of DJ. It's a maritime theme DJ. They won't all be maritime. No, I know, I know, I'd course. Don't worry. Oh, do you know what we should have as well? how they've got a projector and a screen. I think we should have all the guest DJ's names

and then a vibe written underneath. That's a great idea. Because you're going to, you know, Tessa Coates, maritime soundtrack slash anxiety. Anxiety. Great. You can pick a DJ name, DJ anxiety. Yeah, DJ anxiety.

Riddled with sweat. Yeah. I was thinking, we're not there yet. No, go on. I was thinking about what I'm a costume. You called it a costume, which worries me. You want to be yourself? I was thinking, I was thinking very,

sunglasses. Yeah. A very big blazer. Just a bra. Yeah, I don't hate that. That's what I've seen. I would wear that to Indiana City actually. Okay, I don't know who it is,

but is there a famous DJ and or performer who wears like a sort of big marshmallow on his head? Basically, my boyfriend in the night was like, do you want to, why are you staring at the ceiling? I was just thinking about the maritime DJing. And I keep being, anytime we hear a cool song, he'd be like, quick, quick, put it on the thing. And then he was like, this showed me one song from this guy,

And then he was like, how about if I come and support you? Of course. Wear that white bucket on my head. Understands me. Be a hype man and dancer at the back bed because I'll have the bucket on. But I can't express how much people think it's really complex unless, like I say, you're fat boy slim. You're going to play some tracks. Yeah.

Send me your tracks. Yeah. And then we will order them in a way that sort of builds up a vibe. That's all you need to do. It's so simple. Okay. How do you build a vibe? How do you build a vibe?

Sort of like I was saying about, you know, if you're having an individual. indie disco, you want to start with some tracks that people go, go, oh yeah, remember that? The whole point of this party is that I'm so fed up of going to parties where I'm like, I'll be having a dance and the music's like, this is what I hate. I hate music like that. I hate nights like that. I want people to be screaming words and that is why I accidentally started a club night. Yes, accidentally. Because of the words. Because of the words. You've also got to realise that British people are so uptight. The dancing will start half 10, 11. Yes, quite late. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Of course.

And you must not panic about that. Yeah. It's like comedy, you know, and people are like, oh, we're going to hold it in a light room where there's no stage or mic. What's the difference? And you're like, no, there's a lot of psychology around it. Yeah. It's kind of the same with, like, if you want people to be out dancing,

you've got to have like a good vibe. Don't panic. Literally, nobody panic. Yeah. On brand. And you've got to think about what you're doing before it. I don't know if people are going to, because people are going to get there and have a chat and have a catch-up and stuff.

And then they're going to have a few drinks. And then you start dropping a little. banger, oh, people want to go over. They edge closer to the dance floor and always make the dance floor smaller than you think. Go on. Because people, a bit like comedy, if you've got people spread out, they don't laugh because they think

they're on show. If it's all, if people are all crammed in, you can like open a curtain, move tables, make the dance floor bigger. But if you've made it a big, vast, wide open space, people don't want to walk into it and be like, and here I am, I'm the first one up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Create an environment where it's like,

dark and small. Bring a curtain across and kind of make it like almost like two different bits and then you can put a big table in there makes people feel fine, keep it dark and then you just slowly you bring the curtain back

you move the table. It's changing around them they don't even know. Yes, yes, yeah, yes. Stage managing as well. Very much. The fear I think I would feel if I was doing it

would be that when you're doing your set and say suddenly you play when you realise the crowd's thinned out of it and you're like, oh I fucked it. Yeah, how that would be? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That can be a worry, sure. Yes. But you've just got to realize that, you know, sometimes a wave of people will sort of go to the bar and get a drink. But people go in waves to things, you know, and then people are going up for a cigarette. It doesn't mean that you're doing a bad job. No, not at all. Should you change the song?

Halfway through. Never changed the song. Never. Show fear. I think that's why I'm going to put the sunglasses on just to be like, I'm. You have a lot of it. Also, like you say, you've got to go to A&E because he's like, fall off the stage because of the bucket.

Yeah. Yeah, you have got to realize as well that you're at a wedding full of comedians and people you know and love who will love the silliness. So like you just got to. Yeah. Everyone wants you to do well. I think that's the thing, isn't it? I think it's just very hard if you are so aware of vibes.

Yeah. But you lack the language or knowledge to understand how to create the vibes. You know? I think you have to trust that you do know, you do know more than you think because you've been dancing and felt the vibes. The vibes, build an air and flow. And also when you're dancing and you're like, you go, I think we're going to get a drink.

You're not like, what's the DJ shit? You're just like, I'm going to do a drink now. Exactly, yeah. So requests when you're DJing. Oh, great. Let's move into requests. Yeah, yeah. Requests.

My boyfriend is the most patient man on earth. He's so nice to, and I have to say this guys, drunk white women who are so rude to him. Saying play Taylor Swift. When we're doing Indyamnesty, the requests tend to be, if you've got a themed, night. It kind of tends to be okay because... And Taylor Swift isn't indie, you're saying, okay,

yeah. So, no, no, no, but what is for your wedding, we're going, I mean, look at the eclecticness. No, of course, yeah. We're having an indie section. It's indie in the other sense just like very individual. Yeah, exactly. It's independent of each each section is independently of the next one. Very hard to get a vibe going

in the evening. I think we should just have, we can't express how much there's no flow. It's like very much you're going to be on like six nights out in one. Yeah, and I like that. That's what I like. Yes, I'm into it. But yeah, when he's DJing sort of other nights, he does vinyl. He does like Northern Soul and a bit of disco and 70s, right?

That's his vibe. And if you're in the room for more than 10 minutes, you're probably understanding that that's the vibe. He's got vinyl, which means it's a physical thing as well, right? So if he hasn't got the vinyl, he can't play it. Women will come over and, like, scream in his face. Like, can you play, you know, something like Nicky Minaj or, you know, Beyonce Love on Top? Beyonce Love on top or whatever, which a lovely track.

The key changes, very pleasant. And he's like, oh, I can't because it's, you know, I've got vinyl. They will be shouting and like, and you're like, so with requests, what we always say is, if we've got it, we'll play it. Okay. Which means that if they've requested something absolutely abhorrent and they're binned off and they can't even see and they're really drunk, they think it's coming. Great, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a very difficult. Yeah, if we've got it, we'll play it and secretly just be like, I don't want to play it.

The vibe is wrong and they don't understand the build. Or like people that are like, oh, can you play, you know, Oasis, Super Sonic? And you're like, well, if anything, that's going to be the very last song of the night. You know, because it's quite slow. Don't Look Back in Anger, Super Sonic, wonderful. Very last song, because you're never going to bring the vibe back up after one of those. That's true, yeah. So people request it at like half eight when they've got there and they've accidentally got too drunk in the afternoon.

And you're like, yeah, we will play it, mate. We'll play it five hours from now where you will be at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, you just have to kind of placate people. Okay. Whilst being like... Yeah, it's coming. Yeah.

And also, because you were saying as well, which I didn't realize, is that if the venue as well, like, it depends on the venue is kind of like internet and Wi-Fi. And so you have to have all the songs, like, pre-done anyway. So what people don't realize is that you have to download the tracks. Like, you're not just doing it off Spotify, otherwise, like, which everybody can and should do. That's fine.

But that is so reliant on Wi-Fi. And if you're doing someone's wedding and, like, you know, like we are, And so is then like, oh, the signal's gone. Or the thing won't load. There's no music. We haven't paid for the adverts in the middle. Yeah, exactly. All the other stuff.

Which is now available on Spotify. Yes, exactly. So you have to download each track. Oh my God. Remember that. It was literally, so it's like 59P. So when you get a track list for somebody, for somebody's party or wedding or whatever, and they're like, these are the sort of non-negotiables.

Like, we download them. So that's why you're paying for, like, if you're having a big party, half of it is like, because we've got to get the tracks. so that you can actually hear them. And so then the requests are just like, we haven't downloaded every piece of music, but they don't know that. They don't realise that.

That's good to know. I was also going to just thought then, the Nobody Panic theme tune. Is that going to be in your set? No. Okay. That is a great example of like, oh my God, that'd be so funny.

And then you do it and you're like, no one's dancing to this. Yeah, in jokes tend to like save them, but like pop them on if they're short or near the end, I'd say. Or just quietly and just play it to this person in your own phone. Yeah. Like that's the... Private.

Yeah. Right. Okay. It's very, very helpful. It's just so much with parties, I'm increasingly aware that I've decided there are three types of people. Vibes are. Don't know what vibes are.

Sometimes they might be like, it was weird and I couldn't tell, like... Couldn't tell why. Couldn't tell you why. But like, simply doesn't occur to them. Would never come back and report it. Vibe, yes, doesn't even know the vibes exist. Live your life. A vibe seer, the worst position.

understands the vibe, cannot tell how to fix it. Yes. And then a vibes merchant. Understands the vibe. The buyer and seller of vibes. Constantly control the vibe. Has the power to change? Has the power to change? Understands knows can fix.

In some areas of my life, vibes merchant, hard. 100%. Thank you so much. You are definitely a vibes merchant, I would say. Thank you so much. Yeah. This is why I find this so hard. Because I had to downgrade myself to be like,

I think I might actually be ignorant here. No, you're a vibe seeer, definitely. At least. Like, I think, also, I think give it like two songs, you'll be a vibes merchant. I just worry I'll be there being like, Stevie is wrong and I don't know why. And I'll be just you on the dance from with your really encouraging eyes being like, I'm loving it. Also, can I say one of the greatest things about Stevie's wedding, which I would say 98% of UK weddings don't have, is going on till late. Okay, yeah.

I would say most of the weddings I've been to, it stops just to. as soon as the vibe is perfect. I can't. It's always like, carriages at midnight. And you're like, even the one's in London. And you're like, but like I've now finally. We've just hit, do you not know what vibes are? I've spoken to everybody.

I'm pissed. I want to dance. And then they're like, and final song. You're like, what? I've been forcibly removed from more than one wedding in which they announced that they either switched the big light on or they said we had to close the doors now. And I was like, you've made a bit cram yoga experience. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Or they've just been like, that's it now. And I was like, you're like, you. have to tell people or ideally what you should do is say, sorry, the vibe's ignorant and suddenly coming out hard with some vibes. You want to say, this is the last song now, play your last song, then let people chant one more song and give them one more song. So they at least feel like they've got something back. The lights went on. It was taken away

from them, but they got their fun and now they feel at peace. Whereas you just take it away from them. They're like, I didn't prepare. And then, you know, so enormous bouncer is like, we haven't got a license for this. And I was like, well, don't run away. venue if you can't, if you cannot sustain the vibes. Yeah, I feel so strongly about UK weddings ending at what feels like 7pm. It's not, it's midnight or like sometimes 11. And you're like, like you say, yours will be the trajectory of probably a club night where like everyone's having a lovely time.

They're catching up, they're chatting, then like having a dance, then going back. And then by sort of 11 midnight, it's like a big party. That is exactly what you want. Then some people, you know, they're like, the ceremony is at 10 a.m. And you're like, what? Why? Why? Is that happening?

Yeah, so then also you've got up really early. Yeah, you're really tired, but you also want to dance. Then you kind of push through. And it's even worse when it finishes at 12. Because like, hang on, I wanted to sleep at 8pm. Yeah. I've pushed through. Now I'm hysterical.

Yeah. Like this energy, I need to put it to. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You often have like a coffee after dinner as well. So you're like, ah! Yeah.

And what's good about yours is because it's like, essentially, you've taken like the party element and put it in the one night, is that people will want that pizza and then carry on. A few hours to go. Half time snack. Time snack. So what's the ideal, what's an ideal aim for like a DJ set at a wedding if you're someone like Tesla who like hasn't really like DJed before? What do you mean in terms of time? Sorry, I didn't say the one noun. Yeah, the crucial word. I think like half an hour. Great. Okay. It will feel honestly because the first Indyamnesty, right? So I met my boyfriend and we were friends. Okay. Didn't know him when I booked Indy Amnesty. Met him in between it being postponed for a year and four months. But we were friends. Then I was like, well you DJ it as well as my friend that owned the pub. that we met in, right?

So I was like, you two can DJ it. And they were like, yeah, great. And then on the second one, they were like Alex, you can definitely do this. Like you're not, like you say, you're not mixing, you're not being fat boy slim. You're not dropping a beat behind the pirates of the Caribbean theme tune. You're basically choosing which songs to go on where and making sure there's like a flow of music. And I was like, oh my God, I can't do it.

And you look at these things, right? Because you look at these controllers and all the equipment and stuff like that. And it's made for somebody that can, if they want to do all that fancy stuff. Right. And I was, I was panicked so much. and I was like, I will do 20 minutes on the second ever in the Amnesty. And they were like, okay. And they were right because an hour later I was like,

I'm basically having a big house party and everyone's loving my selection. And I am that prick at a house party as well where like I'm DJing and I'm like, oh, next one. And people are loving it. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God. And you feel it's like when you choose a song and people scream, you're like, it's a massive rush. It's like you're drunk with power.

Yeah. Yeah. I still think about this time when my sister lived in London and I and she was having a party. just like, I was just in a living room, there's maybe like 15 people, and it was just acknowledged that everyone was going to start making a move. And then I was like, oh, let's just put this one song, because I saw in June his eyes like, oh, I'm not ready yet. Yeah, yeah.

And I just, it's not like a song. And she saw what to do. She saw the solution. She saw the solution. And I don't know what, it's not like a song that I really regularly listen to. It just pulled into my head. And I put on, um, Rihanna, S&M. And everyone went, oh my God.

And so I was like, this is a drug. But I didn't really continue the thing. because I was like, I'm too involved in that. I'm going to say it because I was on drugs. No, absolutely not. Fully sober being like, more. And more songs about bondage. Is that what you want?

But like it was, yeah. It was a wonderful feeling. Yeah. Which I can imagine is equally hard. When you put the one and be like, they're going to love this. And then you see someone go to the toilet and you're like,

why did you pick that time? But I suppose the idea is just to look at the overview. And like, there are people dancing. I'll be dancing. There are people enjoying it. People will be wetting yourself on the dark. because you can't ever leave. I can't believe.

Because people will think you've chosen. You haven't spoken to anyone. But this is the, this is the Uber. I can't get drunk. You can't do anything. Can't never leave. Terrible. Just making constant eyes with the DJ.

This is also one of the most important lessons about DJing. Let go of your ego. Don't play something just because you are desperate to hear it, but it might kill the vibe. Okay, cool. Don't risk those things. Yeah, because you're not on the dance floor. Because yes, exactly. And like, I've got three songs, which I have to play at Indy Amnesty,

famously within a half hour of everyone arriving because I'm like I love these. Get out your system. But they're not for everyone and Jerry will be like and I'll sometimes forget to play one and it'll be you know half ten and I'll be like Joey please can I play that and he'll be like it's too late. And he's like I like it as well but you can't

so there might be things on your playlist where you'd be like what about that and I might say you missed the boat for that. Interesting You can if you want but I think it's going to clear the danceful Yeah be aware that it might Yeah, softened. A question I want to ask, which you haven't touched on, and I don't even think it's a, maybe it's a thing. Speaking into a mic during the set, going, come on, we've never done it. We've never done it. Good, okay, right. Just, just, just seeing where you stand on that.

Fine. That's very sort of like, this is one for the lovers. But I'm thinking, okay, I didn't know if it would be a one for the lovers vibe or. Sometimes people ask for it if you do a big party and stuff, but it's mostly, we're not like hype men. Good, right, fine, okay. That's a relief. That's mostly just for things like, um, and now there's, you know, the best, man wants to say a few words. Yes, and now it's the first dance, right, all that, which we're not doing. Ladies and gentlemen, will you please, you know, be upstanding? Remain upstanding. Remain upstanding

and form a circle. Great. But yeah, I've never done the, I can't imagine anything. That's great. That's a real load off. And also, the idea of having the screen to announce the different DJs. I like that. Means that no one has to speak. And it's silly and funny. Yeah. Ask everyone for their DJ names and their vibe. They can absolutely have a mic if they wish to. If they want that to be part of their DJ persona. I'm not giving Nish Kumar and Ed Gamble a mic in my wedding, thank you. You are correct. Because it'll be two of the greatest hours of comedy anyone's ever seen in this.

That's not the time. Not now. Not now. Any more for any more. Do you have any more? This is the one time before this? No, it's not. No, my shoulders have really come down over this episode.

I can't express how much it's going to be loads of fun and you will want to stay on there after 20 minutes. That's really nice to hear. Yeah, I'm excited. I really think you should do the Big Blazer bra. I think I'm going to go Big Blazer and Brow. I'm going to go weird now. Fuck it. I'm going to well it is nice like you were saying like getting dressed. It's when you said

I like to have this thing three times a year where I get to be like this is incredibly cool I'm wearing. Yeah because on stage I never wear anything that. Right? And I say like when we're exceptional when I brought kids with you. It's cool but it's understated. I'm never sexy. It's not sexy. It's not wearing your tight. It's like jeans. It's bit.

It's like cool. We're one of the lads. I'm one of the lad. I'm one of the lad. Don't attack me. Please don't kill me. It's a survival. It's a survival. And certainly, definitely, in my stand-up, it's similar like, this woman, couldn't be less threat. Not a threat to you, sir.

Not a threat to anyone here. So it's basically, yeah. But then when we do the live podcast, I started being like, a threat. I said to be a threat. I'm trying to be a bitch is a fucking threat. No, I start. I think. Oh, man.

Yeah. Because she's coming. No, I see no. All killer, no filler. And Kiri wearing all these, you know, they come both. or the glitter and everything. And I was like, oh, I'm so jealous. And I was like, whoa, whoa, you have your own live podcast. You have a space to wear glitter if you wish. And it's like, okay, this is the thing I wear for the podcast. The live shows is like, I get to, I'm going to dress up.

Yeah. And so it's lovely to have an excuse to being like, okay, I couldn't do it for this thing in my life. Yeah, you have a specific vibe. And you could, like, it's a, like, it's a dressing. So you can, like, dress in like a totally different vibe to how you normally would without having to worry about, like, I've got to, like, before nobody panicked live, there's a lot of like, she's like, like, This shoe, that shoe, and then like, one she came on with, like, about one different shoe. She couldn't decide which one. And then, like, had to carry her off stage. Ask the crowd, and the crowd were like, we aren't invested in this.

We don't know which. We all got dressed. We don't know. But a shoe, you should. How can we trust you to carry us through for an hour? You've got two shoes, different shoes on. Like, a blazer of the bras. So when I'm back in the party, I'm going to take the glasses off.

Oh. And people are like, who's that? Like Clark Kent. Like, like. You were like, you missed a DJ. I'm like, oh. Oh, I'm like, that's so weird. Your idea of how people perceive you.

Yeah. DJ is so funny. You did you compare a martini at the bar and just being like, did I? They played some good songs, do they? And then I just see this into just doing a little smile. We did it. We did it, Joe. Cheers ago, my boy with a bucket on his hair, I got a gaffatap some eyes on.

He's knocked himself out. He's up conscious of all. Everyone knows who he is as well because he's just drenched and sweat. And he takes it. Yeah. Oh, that's her. partner. Yeah.

Very, very fun. Well, look, thank you so much, Alex. I think you've really made Tesla feel better. I feel like I might do half hour. You must. You simply must. We'll be there in case anything goes wrong. Yeah, I've been like one in the morning.

I should like round it, not round it off. Round it up. Introduced, yeah. Look, thank you so much, Alex. Oh, I'm so excited. I can't go on tour with Alex. Go on tour with me. Win a ticket to go on tour.

Yeah, wow. Every train. Stay in every hotel with her. Please do. We're going to do a few indie amnestys on the tour and tie it in. Oh, that's fun. Incredible. Okay, so where's the best place to find?

Is it your Instagram at Alexandra Hado? Yeah, it's all on there. You can link through to the... No. No, no. No one needs that. I've got a link tree. Yes, great.

On my Instagram. That's where it's at these days. That's where all the tour dates are and all the indie amnesties. Oh, and this is actually an exclusive. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're doing a New Year's Eve special indie amnesty at 21 Soho. as well.

Shit. It's going to be crazy. Oh, that's going to be so fantastic. It's going to be fun. It's a tenor in. Come on on on on a snog. Come on have a snob. Because New Year's ease.

Yeah. Two years ease. No queuing. Why no queuing? But basically because it's not a huge, massive club where it's like one in one out. You've got a ticket. You might have to wait to pop your coat away. Sure.

That's it. I'm going to go. If I see even a scrap of a cue at any money. Demand a refund. It says no cue. Yeah. That's fantastic. I was going to say that New Year's Eve is always crap.

So let's go and have a good one. I know. We did the first one last year and everyone just was like, it's a lovely night. That's the New Year's Eve you need. That's what you want. So basically a big house party

but none of the clearing up after. Ideal. Oh my God. Ideal. Come on. The people at 21stow home are right. See you there. Yeah. Well, thank you so much.

And thank the God of DJs. And I can't wait to hear your set. Thanks, everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Can we to hear your set. Can wait for everyone's sets. Bye.

Bye.