Nobody Panic - How to do Karaoke

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

Love it? Hate it? Fear it with your whole body? Let’s discuss. Stevie and Tessa deep dive into how to find your perfect song when you are harmonically challenged. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Yeah. Nobody panicked. Hello and welcome to the show. I'm Stevie. I'm Tessa.

We're doing karaoke. I'm already so hot. I'm so stressed. No, I'm also a sexy, sexy girl. Sexy girl. So this is one that Tessa, this is a topic suggestion, episode topic suggestion. I wrote in. Tessa wrote in to herself. And I thought, yes, please, because I've only done it.

I've only done karaoke twice. And I want to be better at it because it feels, when you get that intersection, and I don't know where it is or what happens, you feel alive. And you are like, oh, I've done a night out better than anyone else. Like, you've really had an experience. It's the ultimate high risk, high yield. It really is. I've been thinking about this for some time now.

I actually have done one karaoke. But I have, of late, I've been forced to be near the karaoke. You've watched it, but you've watched the karaoke a weirdly high number of times. Okay. And I become so physically stressed at the idea that someone will just be like,

it's you now. Oh, yeah, like, the microphone. And there's like a chew out, there's like, in the shallah, shallow lo's that, like, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. Oh, I see a-no. Now.

And someone goes, Watch as I dive in. Oh, my God, that was. woman on the tube? Do you mean that lovely woman on the tube? Or is that actually what happens in the film? I don't know. She's not on the tube. She's on stage. She might be sound... I haven't seen... Sorry, sorry. There was a viral woman on the tube where a guy was going up singing the first half of a song to people and then they were... And then she happens, not only does she look absolutely adorable, but she has an amazing voice. And without even blinking just like...

Does it? That's what you want to do. Yeah. That's what I want to do. But I'm... I, as long-time listeners, all know, um, the worst... singer in the world. That's not true. You just can't sing. You're not the worst singer in the world. Okay. But I can't. You've got quite an adorable way of not singing. If I just sang a song that you didn't know, I don't think you would hate the experience. No, but I would be like, this might be a song I know. Right. Yeah, yeah. That's my point. It's like, it's only, when I'm just singing, people are like, I don't, I don't hate whatever you're doing there. If I then, if I then say, that was Lady Gaga, and I was like, I beg your pardon. That's what happens. You'll go,

like he's like the Katie Perry Teenage Dreams one in that song and you were like oh I love that so I can do that Hey my hole tonight ah! Sorry, sorry that's, and then two years later we were like, did you mean Katie Perry teenage dreams? I became obsessed with trying to

explain to see me this song I'd heard that she's doing a very good impression of and I get and I went and it went it goes hear my hole I'm the hoon day and a teenage dream tonight ta! It was really like ah at the end. But you didn't say teenage dreams I was saying

Hold my jeans. Yeah, yeah. He'd my whole. Hide my whole. Gonna hold my jeans tonight. And we're like, honestly. And it was, I think it was. We're all together and you sing it in a meeting.

We were, yes. And I lost my mind. Yes. And we've gone to quite a sensible meeting, I think at the BBC. And somebody had been like, oh, and then as a joke, someone was like, oh, and then we'll obviously have a really sensible intro song. And then someone was like, yeah. like, you know, and then someone just sang the lyric.

And the conversation, I was like shaking. And I was so funny. And I was grabbing you both and I was like, heed my whole teenage, and this like really sensible man for the BBC was like, sorry, what's going on? As we became hysterical. We did not get the job.

They're nice, but they're unstable. They're completely unstable. Oh my God. Yeah. So that's the thing. I cannot translate a noise out of my head into the world. Yes. I cannot sing a song that people.

people recognise. No. I think that is why this is going to be similar to, like, do you remember when we did that episode about swallowing a pill and you were like, I can't swallow it? You were trying so hard to like be good at it. It's like, just allow yourself to not be good at it. Allow yourself to not be good. And I have this thing that the two character things that I've done in was one with musical

theatre people and one with these comedians and you can't sing. And it's no one really wants someone to get up who can say. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is the big, this is the stuff. This is, don't worry, this is, don't worry. I'm not worried. Because I feel like you've reached that because you seem to have made peace. I know, this is not going to be, hold your nose and reach high sea, and then you'll be able to sing Adele.

Like, this is to say, for those of you like me who are like, I'm dripping and sweat at even the thought of karaoke, I've got some ideas to get us through. Let's put a pin in it. Yeah. Let's put a pin in it. And do our adult things, the most adult things. we've done this week and then can return to it in five minutes. Absolutely. Mine is quite bold.

It's that I, it's this. Is this baby? Can you see it? You can't not see it. Yeah, I can see it now, yeah. So I have this very had past tense, this lump on my nose, totally benign, not doing anything, but it would get, it just kept getting bigger. Did it?

It sometimes would get smaller and then it would get bigger. What? Yes, yes, yes. I didn't know that was a thing. I know. I know. And then I was always like, I don't mind it. But then increasingly I was like, no, you've never really noticed until you got it removed. So, but some people, I always have this mole above my eye. And some people are like, oh, I've never really seen that before. And some people are like, it's the first and only thing I've ever looked at on your face. I'm sorry. Who has said that? Just some people, truly, some people just are more aware of like things.

And they're like, oh yeah, you've got their thing on your face. Anyway, I've got this thumb on my nose. Didn't bother me. I actually thought it was quite charming. It has got so, it. It was getting large and it did not appear to be stopping. Wow. Okay. Yeah, no. And then of late, it became the sort of only thing I would see in the mirror. And then someone sent me a photo of me with their baby. The baby is exquisite. It looks like a cabbage patch doll.

The lighting is gorgeous. I'm hugging this baby. The only thing I could see was this lump on my nose. And I was like, right, let's come on. Life is too short. So I went to the dermatologist to be like, what do you think this is? They were like benign lump. And the guy was literally like, great.

Great. And I was like, okay. Did me to speak to you forever. Lucky I paid to come and see you. And then the guy was like, should we take it off? And I was like, yes. When should we do that? When I got my little diary out?

To be like, okay, when? And he was like, now? I was like, now. Wow. Now? And he was like, yeah. And then he just like put this little cream on my nose, injected me, didn't care for that. And then that is the noise of it coming out.

It was so fast. And he had been stroking me very gently with a little cloth on my nose. So then when he said, I just thought he was continuing to, I think he was sterilizing the area. I don't know what he was doing. But I truly thought he was just. doing more cloth work. And then I was like, honestly, he said that's done and I laughed in his face. And I was like, don't, you haven't got it off with that cloth. Come on, mate. I've paid good money here. Don't just say it's gone.

I'm not idiot. Not idiot. And he was like, okay, madam, please leave. Anyway, and it was so quick and it's gone and it felt really like, just like the, being like, oh, I'm taking control here. I haven't even told anyone I'm doing this and I'm just going to do it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. If you have something you've been thinking about, If you have a benign growing lump on your nose that you've been like, oh yeah, maybe I will just get rid of it being like, oh, that's an option. Yeah. Anyway, it just felt really like, wow, look at me go.

What does it's not saying she's now? BBL's got a giantormous ass now, fake ass. What's a BBL? Brazilian butt lift. Oh, sorry. I'm saying you've gone from one to the next. All the benign lump in my nose. She's gone right to the butt.

They took the fat out of that and put it in my butt. My butt is enormous. It looks really good. Thank you. It looks great. Yeah. Thank you so much for your support. Yeah, it's got a scab and it will eventually drop off.

It's going to go black, which I'm quite excited about. Is it? thrilling. Christ. Christ. Antichrist, sort of sounds like. My one is that I've got my teeth whitened. But what's disappointing about it is like when you fake tan, if you've ever fake tan in your life, and you do it.

And then the first time you do it, you're like, holy crap, wow. And then you're like, you kind of lose perspective of what your actual skin is. Then you keep going fake tanning and you need more. more and more. And then in pictures, you're like, yeah,

and then it's heroin. I'll do it. It's a bit of pain. And I actually, it's much more fine when I just don't, because I did have to think about it. The whitening was the same.

It was like the first time I did it because it's like a gradual one over however long you want, really. And you just do it to the shade that you want it to. And the first time I woke up the next thing was like,

holy shit! And then after that, there was just no other difference. You're always chasing the dragon. Chasing the dragon. And now I'm like obsessed with my teeth. And I've never, even thought about whitening my teeth.

It's just that I went with the Invisaline that I did, I got free whitening. So I was like, oh, yeah, I'll take that out. Fine. And now it's become sort of this thing. I was like, I've had to stop because I was too obsessed with it. It's tough, isn't it? It's very tough to reach. And listen, we brought two very similar things to the table, which is like something you're like, oh, yeah, I think it's quite humorous, my big lump.

And then being like, I can't look, I can't look away. Well, I actually can't see because the lump is obscuring my vision. But you suddenly are like, this is the thing I become obsessive about. whereas I don't so and I think the only takeaway is like obviously do you you've got one life do whatever you wish to do with it one life one lump one life

one life one one life one love so like we're not tell you to do whatever you do whatever you want to do to yourself but nobody else is thinking about it as much as you you know like nobody is not registering on anyone else's radar

and you have to maintain a level of self-awareness to not just go, I mean, of course you can go off the deep end and just because of the one lump, then you're just absolutely flying. Quit while you're ahead. Quit while you're head for God's save. Give yourself a breather before you then decide to we've got our, one has one's

whole life to do those things if one wants to and if you start too early then it's just expensive and a lot of time and effort. The more if you try and improve something, the more you focus on it, whereas you want to try and be as neutral as possible at all times, but that's very hard and that's a very complicated thing.

Does it you've quit, you've quit the whitening. You've got clean. I've got clean, yeah. I've stopped the winding. Also I accidentally swallowed a bit of it. Oh my God. And that really freaked me out. It's like, it's going in my mouth, but you're not meant to put it in your proper mouth.

Your inner mouth is what I like to call my throat. Of course. I understand. And so it was like, well, between those two things. And also it was like, I was like, oh, this is not working. My boyfriend was like, your teeth are, you couldn't. I mean, they've faded now, but he was like, you could not. get the many, you look like Ross and friends. It's like, okay, you know, I will pull back.

Pull back. And just go back to being teeth that I didn't think about. Well done. You know. Well done you. Thank you. That's some snaps for you. Thank you.

You'll see me next time and I'll be like, hello! And I'll be like, oh, she's back on the source. I'll be throwing up and then you'll know, okay, let's get back straight into karaoke. Let's straight back into the party. Let's get back in, baby. Okay. Okay.

So these are some karaoke things that began me on this cycle. Okay. Because I think there is karaoke in the booth. And there is karaoke to the strangers. Oh my God. I've never considered the option with strangers. That's not karaoke. That's a performance. That's putting on a little show. Yeah.

I'm not never doing that. Okay. So, okay, so it actually is threefold. One is what we might call the Great Northwest. The American and the Canadian model, a karaoke bar would be, My Canadian friends were very surprised by... Well, that's not true. Not only the booth model, but the rowdiness. So they quietly do perform to a group of people.

Some times there is karaoke in a bar might be considered you politely put your name in the hat. You politely go up and you politely listen to somebody's performance, almost like an open mic night. Yes, that does feel like just some musical entertainment. Musical and staining. But that is specifically, you know, that is happening in the small...

In films, they do that do that. So that's more of an American Canadian, which you're going to simply ignore. Gloss over. That's not a thing. I'm sorry for our international listeners, but that's not what we're discussing. Yeah. And then here you've got your karaoke booth. Someone's like, we've rented a booth.

We're doing karaoke. And there's going to be crossover. And then, in recent months, I have been to a friends party that was in a karaoke bar, hosted by a drag queen. This group of friends were there, but there were also other people in the bar. Yeah, you're there with your friends, but there's also other groups of friends. There's a hendoo. There's, you know, everybody's, so it's very much, we're performing for the strangers.

I've also been to a wedding in which there was a band but then it became live band and karaoke. I've been to a destination wedding in which the night before the two days before there was a group trip to a karaoke bar. And then the fourth one is that in Edinburgh on a Wednesday night down the flick which was a club event,

they built a club in a car park. Oh, fantastic. And every Wednesday night from like two till five a.m. was karaoke. At the wedding one, not the destination wedding, at the wedding party was the karaoke. I became convinced that I should go up. That will happen. That will happen. And I do Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 and I put my name in the hat. And then I became immobile. I couldn't even speak for the rest of the email because what did they call me? What if they call me now? And then I got myself so drunk and ready that they didn't call me and then I had to be escorted home.

Ah, yeah. And they're like, okay, this is the final song. And I was like, what? And then they were like, it should be me. And they were like, it should be the bride and group. I'm like, so anyway, so I've been thinking a lot, a lot, because if you are like me and they're like, people are not enjoying the noise, the noise we're making, then it's like, what do we, what should we have in the back pocket? And how can we enjoy the karaoke more so we aren't freaking out about like, oh my God, what should I choose? I think just having your karaoke song ready is, I think, a very important thing for everyone. And also, if I met, as somebody that I can I think I can hold a tune, but I don't, I don't appreciate when, when I'm having karaoke

when someone comes up and just instantly starts singing amazingly. I'm like, boo, boring. Exactly. Like, it's time for fun now. It's time for fun. It's time for scream singing. Or like, so always picking a song that is, for example, I don't know, um, uh, elephant love medley from Moulin Rouge, get a friend up, you're you and McGregor then, Nicole Kid him and I was made for love and you, like all of that's fun stuff. or chalows, but even better if it's like a couple and neither of them can sing. Really, so much more fun.

Having a go at that big, oh, oh, but when you can't sing is so fun. Yeah, or a screaming emo from the 2000s. So like Papa Roach, cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort. Lincoln Park, Limbiscuit, very fun. Like songs that everyone goes, oh yeah, or offspring, songs that go, oh yeah, but you don't have to sing, you just have to shout. Yes. This is fantastic.

This is really good. You're like theirs ahead of me. Because you don't want to go. My thought process is that also I don't want to. So the karaoke I went was booth, but it was like a spontaneous karaoke. So I went to a gig. Saw my friend do a gig and then afterwards we were having drinks.

There's like a place next door that does Korean food and karaoke. Perfect. We're there. I knew half the people didn't know the other half. So it was a bit nervous and not really very drunk as drunk as everybody else. And also I don't. don't want to do like a song and then do like a bit. I don't really want to perform a funny, like in a funny way, because I just, I don't want to perform when I'm out when I just like

talk. I find that very stressful. How much comedy do you do? Like, ugh. So if you pick a fun song, then you don't have to think about like, oh, I'm doing this song, but I'm doing it in a funny way. You just do the song and it's fun. So like Disney songs or things like that, if the song itself is like a, oh my God, limb biscuit rolling, you can't fail to perform. that song in anything other than a fun way. This is really good stuff. This is really, really powerful. Oh my God, okay, thank you.

I would say that the category that I would call, I'm not enjoying this. I'm not enjoying your performance. Yes. Okay, number one, and girl with incredible pipes. Fine. I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. And God bless you. But you make everyone else feel like shit.

And also like, come on. So if you are in the fantastic pipe section, give to the people. Do it you out with someone who isn't and just have some fun. Oh, that's a nice idea. That's a nice idea, but I was actually going to say just like choose a song that we can all be part of a bit more. Like YMCA. Or just like you just, but like obviously I don't dislike that performance, but like, you know.

So this is what I'm saying, don't worry. Don't worry if you're in the bad camp because no one even likes the good people. Yeah. But then next down, a boy who thinks he can sing doing quite a hard song and not hitting it. Yes. And there's a flicker in his eyes that he knows. Yes. Yes.

The panic. That to me is what I find true. Hellish is the flicker. Someone performing a song and people are kind of chatting and they're like, no, no, listen to me in my song. No, this is not a concept, you know? Or getting annoyed, doing the Lord, which is, did you see the clip where Lord is singing royals and everyone's singing

along with her and she shushes them? So it's that of like, no, no, no, she's mine. Like that's, shush, shush, shush, shush, shh. Yeah. But the flicker of terror and sh. then next down from the boy with the flicker of terror three or more girls giggling too much

they're not actually singing any words they're just going and they're so, they've had the flicker of terror and they've invested it hard and just being like, this is so cringe and now Wood is like laughing

and we're bad at singing. Yeah, but you've got to give it some go. Or worse, that they're bad at singing, they actually think they might already be all right but they've backed out of it. Anyway, so this is why I'm like, I don't want to see no giggling,

I don't want to see no flickers of terror. I want to see showmanship. I want to see you bring in a song for the people, you know? Well, I feel like that's quite conflicting because we are saying that we don't like the good people who are doing it very well in bringing the show to the people

and yet we want people to bring the show to the people. I want you to choose a song for the people and then I want you to know that you are serving the people. I would previously have said, I know this is a very Moulin Rouge-based suggestions for me. Lady Marmalade, the pink Christina Aguilera

and the other ones I've forgotten because I only ever want to be pink orchionicilera. Pink, Christian Adaglera, Shirley MacLean, Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, that one. The classic. The issue is that everybody wants, so that actually happened. My dream scenario in karaoke, you could.

So we'd gone in, good friend Rose and Dan had immediately done shallows. Rose's got some pipes on her, but in a fun way, like as in she's really going for it. She might not hit it, she does hit it, everyone's clapping. Dan can't sing, but he's going for even harder than roses. Everyone's crying laughing. And their eyes, they're in. They're in. There's no flicker of terror in the eyes.

They're not backing away from it. This is what I'm saying about the showmanship is like you need to. And also I think a lot is brought by the people watching. Of course. That's how man. So everyone watching is also singing. And it's crucial. The matter what happens when there's any note that's sustained for longer than a second,

you must applaud and go, woo! Like that's very important to get everyone going and feeling like confident and that they can just like, you know, they're feeding off the crowd. you're feeding of them, a lot, a lot of fun. And so then, everyone's warmed up, everyone's like,

the bar's here, we've already seen someone who can't sing, somebody who can sing. The bar is, just go and absolutely have a go. Rose picks Lady Marmalade gives me the microphone to be like, we're going to do a duet of Lady Mamalade. She gives it to me at the pink bit, which is my bit. Yeah.

I'm too frightened because I'm like, oh, but I don't know if I can. So I've passed the, I pass the, I pass the girl. No, no. And this is the thing. It's the moment that the mic is given to you. And I think about it all the time. I could have just stood up and done pink.

And then Rose could see like, oh, she'd pass over pink. And I was thinking, oh, did she do Seenagalera's bit with Camille together. So it really felt like I passed up, realized I'd done wrong and then could come back in. Choosing songs with lots of bits and lots of different people coming in and out is also very helpful. For those of us who can't sing, it's actually a bit of. of a nightmare to be like and now my bit because I've I don't know where we are. Where to start? To me I actually would rather be alone.

Okay. Because I don't know what we're doing. You don't want to sing with someone into the same microphone. I wouldn't mind that. Okay. It would both do in the same song. Okay. But I don't want to be like the duet to me is a panic station because I'm like, do I have

to pitch against the note that you've made? Oh, I'm harmonising. No one's trying to harmonize. I don't know what that is. You know, so I'm immediately on the back, I'm on the back foot with my partner because I know I'm letting my partner down. Oh, God, no one's saying anyone down. That's the thing. Okay, well, okay.

I'm going to bring my karaoke story to the table, which is other destination wedding. Okay. Having been freaking out in the corner for about five hours now, the best man comes and is like, let's do, I'm a cocktail waitress. And I'm looking at a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you. We could do karaoke. But we, it's actually boy and girl parts, right? This was the downfall. Okay, it begins.

I'm lay on a bit of the top bit of the bar. Right. Why am I down there? Nobody knows. I'm then doing a thing and I'm doing a little like leg bit thing that's getting the crowd rolling. People are loving it. Then it gets to my bit in the thing. I basically pass out.

I start singing. There's an audible gasp. people, it's clear that I'm letting my partner down. You promised too much with the legs. I promise so much with the legs. Because you lay down with your legs out. And I've been quiet all the time, whereas somebody's second cousin's been up three times.

Yeah. We're diminishing returns. Yeah, of course. And we can tell that she really thinks she can do it, you know? Yes. And now this girl's getting up. And also there's been like, do you know that one?

She's a performer. Oh, no. Tess is a comedian. Oh, no. And you are on your back on the bar. And I'm on my back on the bar. And people are loving that. And then I open my mouth.

No one's up there. People have to look away. What is my lines in this? When I met you, don't, don't you want me. And this, don't, don't you want me. People can't sing along to that. There's nothing here. I'm not bringing anything.

I realized, I was, I made way, I was like, this is a terrible choice. This is a terrible choice. And I was like, and also the duet, I was like, I'm letting my partner down. We're not as symbiotic here. But when you would have preferred that entire experience, just you singing all of the words? No, I would not, but I wish I'd made a better choice. Okay, yeah. Okay, very hard to tell, though, what choice you could have made.

Okay, here's some suggestions. Here we go. Here's some things I've been thinking about that I've seen go down well from poor singers but good performers. Okay. And that's what I'm saying about like, let the crowd do the work. Okay, well. The tension in the room. Okay, let's always remember the length of the song.

Length of the song. Let's keep those short and sweet. Let's check for instrumentals. Let's like know our work. Okay, and then exactly like you're saying, anything from the song. emo period. Emo period's great. Disney.

Lot of fun. Fantastic. I hadn't even thought of that. In which case I maybe perhaps I would go for, can you sing with all the colors of the wind? You could do, yeah. And why not? Why not?

Okay. Natalie Ambruly is torn. Okay. Yeah, right. I've seen it done. Yeah. Very poorly. Very well.

Great. Because I wonder like, what's the crowd doing? You know? They're singing along. They're helping. Oh my God. It's got to be a song that's singing along. That's what you mean by the crowd doing the way.

The killers, all these things that I've done. Oh, I've got so, but I'm not a soldier. I'm just stomping up here being Brendan Flowers. I'm not doing anything. Yeah, and it's not lyrically challenging. It's not lyrically challenging. It's not lyrically challenging. You know way more words than you think you do.

Eminem lose yourself. Exquisite. Really fun. No singing, really. Ideally, and I want you to do if you're going to, if you're thinking, oh yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm going to go for it. I want you to sit down right now and want you to learn those words. Okay.

I want you to be ready. No, if you're going to do. If you're going to go Eminem. They give you the words. No, I want to. That's the thing. Some of these, I need you to be off book.

I love that. This is one of our tips for like how to not. If you're feeling really like nervous about karaoke, know the words. And if you look at that lyric sheet, you're out. You're out. Yes.

I'm sorry. In your, if you're in my category and we are bad, we got to be doing. Your category of lying on the bar with your legs up in the air, not knowing where you are and everyone gasping when you open your mouth. Yes, that group. Yeah.

That group. That group. I wish I'd been off book. I wish I'd given to the crowd. I've got wishes. Okay. I've got wishes. Okay, in the same vein, we didn't start the fire.

That's fun. You don't have to be off book. No. I'm not airing it. What I will say is there's something very fun about watching. There's something not, it's not fun when someone picks a song when they don't know any of the words in this point. And you're like, okay, this is not a thing.

There's something really fun when someone like that, where they don't know the words and they, but they're like really trying. And then there's like a sense of, jeopardy in the room, a sense of like, togetherness. And they're going to get it? And when they get a verse, it's like,

yeah, they've got it, when I'm stumbling it. Oh, so, on the fire, and the children are not familiar. This is what we're trying to create. This is it, you see? This, we're trying to create this giddy,

because that's the thing of, we want the crowd to be like, oh my God, I forgot this song, and I forgot how many words I know. Yes, yes. Now, it might feel instinctive to go for something like a sweet Caroline. And for me, hell.

Hell. Hell. Also, as well, it's a bit, that's one of the ones that, it's a bit obvious, it's a bit boring, and it does go on. It goes on. And that's the thing you think, like, oh, everyone will know. And that's why what I'm saying to people about, like, let's find this sweet middle ground. They're like, sweet Carolina, that's gone too far in the opposite direction.

It has. You know, that's too much, actually. And equally, like, the Beatles. People are like, hey, Jude, be like, no, no, no. You want, you want Britney. You want, you want, like, cheesy stuff. Yeah. It's got to be.

That people go, oh, my God, this song. Oh my God, this song. Yeah. Whereas no one's going, Hey, Jude the Beatles. Oh my God, this song, you know? What's the Glastonbury one that Elbow do? And it's about one day. Throw those curtains wide.

One day like this and you would see me right. Oh, no. No, no. What's that? Do we need two people's voices? What will happen is, and what I've seen happen, is that someone takes that and then the crowd run with a, Hold me down.

And I don't know what he's saying, but what's great, and that's also nice is when part of karaoke is realizing mid-song what they're saying. Oh, he's saying that. Like, it's quite fun. Nice to check the lyrics, isn't it? Yeah, it's nice to be like, oh, he's not going home me down, homer down. It's lovely to be like, is that what we're saying? Oh, this song's about drugs, is it?

If I may, under the absolute banger. Kiss for a rose seal. Really good. Please for the people. That la da da da da da. Baby! Welcome here you do a kiss from a rose on the grey. Ooh, the mar, no.

And actually that's one that you think, and this is what I'm saying about, like, you think that'll be a gooden. Yeah, maybe it's not. But it's too hard for us. It's too hard. There's a surprising number of songs that are, you think like, oh, yes,

they're just a classic sing along, but it's not, there's actually much more musically challenging. Yes. What they're doing there is making something that feels like it's for everyone, it's actually very hard work. It's actually very,

and that's the nightmare zone. When you get up, you think like, oh, this is a banger. And you're like, this is such a hard. harder song to sing that I first imagined. Okay, so I won't be doing that.

Okay, I bring you, this is my suggestion, and next time I'm going to try this one. Yeah. Selim Dion. I knew you're going to see it. Flashes of Light. Right, I don't actually know what that song is. And if you sing it to me, I'm not going to know what it is. No, that's thing, we can't do it.

And there were flashes of light. Wait, no, I do. Wait. Oh, it's quite emotional. Yeah. Like, um, um, oh, let me just, oh, okay. Hang on, it's all, it's all coming back to me now. Oh, it's all coming back to me.

Yeah, that is good. That's the thing. So this is a totally different category. Happy to sing that. Yeah, because listen, listen. So you've got, you've got, listen. That's hellish. Okay, so listen, you've got Brendan Flowers in the middle here.

It's Brandon. That's okay. My man. My tribute act is called Brendan Flowers. Okay. Brendan Flower. Brendan's self-raising flower is here in the middle. Right.

Then you've got at the top. Camille doing Whitney Houston. I see. If you can't sing, go actually wild. Similarly, Colors of the Wind, really actually quite hard work. Just belt, you know, stuff that's so impossible that you're like, yeah, that's nightmareish

what you're doing there. Don't touch Adele. Everyone's heard it too much. It's not for you. It's not for you. Whereas seal fits in between the two where it's like you could have a go at that and you're not failing enough for it to be fun.

Exactly right. That's the man who's got up and he thought he could do it and he realises wrong and it's a flick and that's the night that's the karaoke ender. It's hitting this middle zone

Steve. May I pop one more suggestion? Have you ever heard Ray of Light by Madonna? That is excellent Super karaoke because it absolutely kicks off Zephyr in the sky

at night I wonder do my fears of and because it's what the best bit and then the end she goes no for our people

we must know we can't We can't get that. But you can't get that for Celine Dion either. We know. But humorously. But that's a humor one. No, it's too hard.

That's too hard for us. I'm sorry. It's got to be, if you're going for humor up here, it's really got, you've got to believe. Madonna, I'm sorry, is in his middle group. Little mermaid? Yeah, humor. Up that goes. Okay.

Oh, part of their world. That's the thing. Anything that you can be like, la da da da, da. You know, you can really belt. But Madonna is this like, dad, you got to be class. I do you know. You know, that's so, that's hard. That's this thing that, like, feels like it's going to be fun.

Because she made it fun. That's what it is. Is that your thing, that performance seemed fun. I could be fun. No, no, no. You will fail. You will fail. And then below Brandon, this bottom section is, like, the sweet Caroline's, the Hages and stuff,

you're like, oh, that's a crowd plays? No. No, no, no, no, no. It's a boring one that everyone would be like, yeah. Is this the way to Ammer? You'll give it a go for a minute, but I'll, Ultimately, we've lost interest. We're going to the bar during this, and there's nothing worse.

Oh, my God. When you stand up and everyone goes to the bar. Especially if you're in a booth with your friends and they've all left. Yeah. That's the thing about the sweet Caroline's the hey Jews. No one's cringing. No one's recoiling inside. No one's like, oh my God, I can't believe.

They're like, oh, they'll be fine. I'm going to the bar. Whereas we want to get this, the crowd pleases. Well, also as well, I'm offering suggestions that are being shot down, but I do have my go-to three, which do work. Whereas that's my same. That's why I'm saying for you. Yeah.

If I may. A beautiful singer. That's not true. Okay. A singer. Thank you. Okay. So I would say, you're exactly right.

If you can make the fun, you should stay there. You can do it. We can't. Wow. But you can. You know those little bits that what makes that the difference between that being a fun song and not. You know. Interesting.

So when these Madonna, the Ray of Lights, these bits for you, yes. Yes, Stevie. That's your place. Whereas if you went for, part of their world Celine Dionne everyone would be like Stevie what are you doing

because we know you can do it me and Camille up we go let us fly you need to stay here that's so good right so identify what type of I mean finally

we've got a tip at the end but as I clarified this one was for my people I know it's people but identify what sort of sing you are and react accordingly you can't sing

push it to its absolute limit in a fun way Or remain with the Brendan's. Or remain with your M&M, lose yourself, your Brendan, your Brendan flower, your like easy-going songs that are fun. I love the song,

the crowd will do the work. They can all sing along too. Yes, don't go for that middle ground. Don't go for that middle ground. Don't go for it. But if you know your middle ground, get in there, baby. I don't want to hear anybody touching

the big, the hey judes. No. No one. No one. No one. It's just boring. And if you know that you're the final song of the night, get in that,

throw the window, why. One day and this and you will see me right. Hold me down. Hold me down. Instead, if you're like, let's do Wonderwall is the last one. Be like, oh, I know.

Hold me down. Thank you very much. That's the thing. You know, at the end, don't open with that. Know your place. Yeah, no your place. Know the theme.

Know the night. Know yourself. Wow. This has been a really great episode. and see you down with the karaoke bar. I feel much calmer. I do as well. Because I have been really upset about it. Yeah.

Even though I'm rarely invited to a karaoke. Have you done one then? Never. So this is you're going to take this into your life. I wanted to talk it out with you before I attempted it. And which one are you going to suggest? Which are you going to go for Celine Dion? I'm, no, as my first one out the door, I'm going to start with the killers.

Who's the soldier? You? Who's a soldier? And have you got your soul? And next one, flashes of life. Really great. Yeah. I cannot wait.

Can't wait. Do you want to go to karaoke? Yes, please. Okay. I'm genuinely like to go to Christmas party. Carrioki. Let's go. Thank you for listening.

If you want to subscribe to the Patreon, you could see the video version of that, which is entertaining. Patreon.com. It says, Nobody Panic. And we're at Nobody Panic Pod. And have a lovely week. And see. If you've got an amazing one that you know is a banger, let us know. Tweet.

Tweet. Or bloody tweet. Thank you so much. A don't day like this year. We'll see you. Romila. Over our. Goodbye.