Nobody Panic - How to do Your Makeup

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Stevie wears makeup every day and used to be a beauty journalist, Tessa rarely wears any and used to steal stuff from the beauty cupboard at Stevie's work. If you're fed up of watching tutorials and feeling inadequate about your skills, this is for you. As with everything, it's not about the makeup on your face but the makeup INSIDE YOUR SOUL. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. I'm Stevie. Test is over there. We've just recorded the beginning of this episode and had to stop and restart it because, so if you're new to the podcast, I'd say maybe listen to another

one. Yeah. Pop away. Or pop away. Or pop back and just, if you liked it, then you'll really like all the other episodes. So each week we do a how to, we've had over the years the odd message about like, oh, could you do one about makeup, for example? Or not even for example, specifically, because this one's about makeup. Tess has received them and gone like, oh, I don't really know anything about makeup. So I don't know. I'm not, no. And I received them and was like, oh, okay, absolutely.

And often that after we've done Nobody to Panic live. And then Tessa tried to give me a compliment, which is that like people were saying that my, they liked my makeup. And I spiraled for about 10 minutes until producer Naomi had to be like, shall we stop and start again? And I voted that you just hear the raw, the raw experience. Yes. But I was outvoted and it was concluded to be unlistenable as an audio experience. It was just two women squealing. So, as is often the case, more to unpack than we initially thought about the makeup.

Yes. I think there was just a frank exchange of ideas. Yes. But Tessa was like, you know, you make it nice and well. And I couldn't accept that. And then felt like I was, what I'd said is, he'd come on and go, hey everybody. So everyone keeps asking me, like, how did you your makeup Stevie? And I was like, I'll tell you.

And then I heard myself sort of say not that, but I felt like I'd said that. And then I unfortunately crushed Stevie's confidence, which was completely not my intention. And I'm very, very sorry about it. And I would also say, like, I watch various Instagram people, I would contentedly watch them tell me about their makeup routine. I do think it's quite interesting. It is interesting. It is an interesting thing to listen to. Yes, but I'm not going to do an episode about my makeup routine.

Because the whole point is that makeup is not like, Here we go again. No, no, I'm not spiraling. Don't worry. This is actually what I wanted to start off as, before we go into our adult thing, is that watching people do their makeup is obviously fascinating. And hearing about people's routines, whatever, it is always, oh, great.

It is completely irrelevant to your own face. Like, completely irrelevant. And that's one of the big, I think, problems in why people, for example, we've got a message that sort of tipped me over the edge to be like, yes, let's absolutely do this episode. Someone messaged at sort of like 9am, which makes me think they were like in the middle of doing their makeup for the day. Hello, Charlie. It was a year ago.

Oh, dear. How to do your makeup? Crying face. I'm just slapping everything on and hoping for the best, question mark. And that's kind of how it feels. You're just like, everyone's learnt this makeup stuff

and I don't know how to do it. And so I think that's the starting point rather than like, how do I personally do my eyebrows? Because I don't have your eyebrows, for example, and what I would say in the spiraling, you were talking about how I do

my makeup and I have nice makeup, but also like Tessa often you believe that you don't know anything about makeup, but then in the last few years, every time I've seen you at a public facing function, shall we say, you've done your makeup so perfectly for your face. Like you do, you do it. Because if you put loads of makeup on, you know, like it wouldn't look right. You basically do the perfect, like a maskana, and then you've got a really nice foundation. And then you also like, will occasional experiment with lip color and then go, do it look like a cloud? And then I have to like go, no, and then you wipe it off. Like that's basically the... And round the circle goes. And round the circle goes. I think it is that that is a case of

just many years of being like, I think it's just this. And also I suppose we are very lucky in that we have jobs that occasionally find us in a professional makeup chair. Yeah. And... Do you love that, don't you? Yes. I hate it. Yes. But I would say, I used to love it way more because I was so trusting of like, you just do it. You fix it. You do this. And then afterwards, I would sort of look in the mirror and be like, Who's that? You know, I would feel so unlike myself, whereas you were very quick to be like, just this, please, and I know what I want and I know myself.

And I've now got myself more to a place of being like, this is correct for me. This is what I want. This is what my skin is. And I think I definitely went through, certainly only until the last couple of years. So from being a teenager till now, it was very much like, someone else will know. You do it. And if I ever, I found myself in the John Lewis cosmetic section quite often when, you know, bored people would be like, do you want to sit in the chair and I'll do a all fed of

face of makeup? A horse head of face makeup. That's right. That's what they were offering. They do. Hey, we'll did our John Loses Farm. I was like, I love it. I think you have the whole head of makeup, didn't you? Is that what you said? Yeah. Face of makeup. Whole face of makeup. And I would love having it done. And then I would leave and be like, oh no. Yeah, that is, I remember when I went to the benefit counter for the first time, I was like, do my eyebrows. And I left and it just felt like I had groucho marks as eyebrows. So much of it is, as ever, it's not about the makeup on your face, it's about the makeup inside your soul. Wow. And also it's about how you feel about your face and it's about this very specific relationship you have with yourself rather than like,

if you do your undry concealer in this pattern, it will look great. Like it won't because the person who's telling you that on TikTok or whatever, because it looks great for them. So you go, yeah, that looks great. And then you try it and you go, hang on, I just look like, that hasn't covered anything. And there's a lot of that. I still struggle with. that even now, and I've done makeup, I think I've done a full face of makeup since I was 12. What's the most adult thing you've done this week? Well, mine happened very recently. Oh, yeah.

Okay, so yesterday, producer Naomi messaged me at 256pm and said, can I borrow your copy of Monica Heise's book? After we'd had Monica Heise on the podcast. At 256pm, the same minute, I replied to say, this is who I am now. I saw your message. I rose, collected it from the bookshelf and put it in my bag for tomorrow. because I saw the message and I was like, I said out loud, yeah, of course you can. And then me in the past would have just forgotten that for weeks and weeks.

I would have remembered halfway through the cycle and then I would have been very cross with myself from the way here. And then I was like, no, I see it, I pick it, I get it. My adult thing very quickly, very similar to yours. Have a thing after this recording. Just an audition. Oh! But I have to like dress in a particular way and I was like panicking about it. And normally what would happen every time I've had something after this

and just nothing just dressing my own body is I wake up late and then just scream my thrones about the wardrobe and I get really annoyed. So I laid all my clothes out. I actually put my clothes out and like the jacket over the top as if it was a little shrunken flat man and was like, yeah, that works. Oh, wow, wow, wow. And then hung it up because it's a suit jacket, which actually I then came in and just sat on.

So it's out of that now. And yeah, hung it up. So when I rose, I then just took it off the hand, and put it on. Which sounds like I should have got that sorted before this stage of my life, but I haven't. So that's one of the first times I've ever done that. That's really, really good. Yeah, I felt very strong. Yeah.

And embarrassed when I was getting dressed because I was like, I've never dressed myself appropriately. My story was about putting a book in my back. Yes, just so. And then I said the phrase, the electricity of that experience has carried me through till now. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, it's so silly. Yeah, no, right, you're right. I feel the heat and I've dressed myself. Well done.

Talking of doing things for yourself, so obviously you do put makeup on now. But do you remember last time we recorded and I forgot my makeup bag and we had guessed and also I just kept saying every half an hour, I'm so sorry I'm not wearing any makeup. And I felt like a bald baked bean. So that's obviously my relationship with makeup

is that I just have done it for so long and also it comes from a place of deep insecurity about my facial features. So I'm like, oh, I've got, I must do something. Whereas I've always thought it's very cool that you don't wear makeup because it just implies that you're just very chill about your face. And are you? Sorry, no, no, no, and what's your, what's your, so what's your,

so how would you respond? To what's the thought? No, what I mean is? So what's your relationship? That's my relationship with makeup. From, yeah, like, from birth. Thank you for that fantastic question. My relationship with makeup is, I'm very aware that I really lucked out genetically.

and didn't have a skin problem as a teenager. Yes, right. My mum didn't really have a lot of makeup in the house. So, like, as a teenager, I sort of went through her makeup bag. That's quite a formative thing, I think. Because my mum does how, would, like, I'd sit and watch and she'd do, like, she was really particular about her makeup bag, and it was like a bag of wonder. Yeah.

But if your mum doesn't, then where are you, you know? Exactly. So she had a lot of creams. Oh, sure. Oh, you love a cream! I love creams. Yeah? You love cold creams.

I love creams. Like a woman in the 20s. I love it. Yeah, exactly the woman in the 20s loved put a cold cream on. And I guess that's because what mum did have. But she didn't have, we had one Elizabeth Arden mascara that she got every Christmas. And so by, you know, November, that was just a dry stick. Yeah.

Twig. That was a twig. And she had one bronzer that was way too dark. You're really into bronzer as well. Yes. Those are the things that you would do. Yeah. Tessa would take my makeup brushing without any makeup on it, would just go, excuse me, can I?

And then just put it on her. face. Yeah, I just loved the feeling of the brush. Before we went on stage, like, in the meantime, I'm like plastering, grouting across my, I know, like, well, Tess has just wafed a bit of bristle and she's good to go. And you know, you looked great. She's wafted the bristle and she's off. And yeah, so I guess I just, those are the only two things and that she ever had. And then when people sort of started getting makeup when we were teenagers, you sort of going to a party, sometimes be like, oh, I'm allergic to that. I have very, very sensitive skin. And so when we'd put on like a foundation or anything thick like that, I'd immediately be like, I can't

keep this on my face. So I just was like, that's not for me. I can't have it on. So just never did. And then over the years have been always like, oh, I can't do it and everyone else manages to do this thing. And then I've come to the conclusion of being like, I think I just have to accept that I can do a mascara and a lovely brush and a little bit of tusha clah. Yeah, you love to do a little tusha clah. Just here under the eyebrow to give a little experience of lightning. You do it very dark under the eyebrow. I'm joking.

I don't think it really does anything, but it makes me feel nice. And then I put a little bit. And I used to have, just talk you through the routine. I'm really into it. Okay. So we begin the routine with this.

Just glared it out. Thought it was shoe polish when you turned around. O'Keefe's working hands hand cream for extremely dry, cracked hands. Yeah. It's in a green circular tint. It does look like shoe polish. It does like shoe polish. There you go.

And you put that on your face? Yeah, I put that on the face. I put, as a base layer, anything in the house. So around my house are a number of like serums, pots, creams, O'Keefs, of course. Of course. Anything that's like called like extreme hydration or is basically like an oil. Like at one point I was just putting like bio oil.

Oh yes, yes, yes. And baby oil like directly onto my face. Which is fine. Yeah, I'm dry as the desert. So I cream up. You loobob. and then slip through the door. Use the creams at will.

Yeah, never check what you're supposed to do with them. Slop them on. Great. Then normal day, nothing. Yes. Just to when I then go to a party, really give them, you know, give them what they want. Give them what they want. You know, scrub up.

Yeah. So day to day, nothing because I don't care. And also, I think when I used to put it on, I would just always forget or I'd rub my face or then someone always be like, it's just so much, I was constantly, people would be like, by the way, you've got mascara on your teeth. You've got it all over the shop. But also it's about like, it's about how you feel and you are so used to your face without makeup. So like during lockdown, I completely stopped wearing makeup. And so I was doing like sketches online and stuff. And for a lot of them, I wasn't wearing any makeup. And I thought like, God, this is fine.

Now I've started wearing makeup again. I look back. I'm like, Jesus Christ, I looked like a bald baked bean again. Because what's sad is that then when the lockdown lifted and I started to wear makeup again, I remember the first time I put it on to go for a drink with someone. and I was like, I look like the Joker. I was like, I really felt I didn't, but I just did a tiny amount.

And I was like, I'm wearing a full mask. Like, I'm like the, I look like the Phantom of the Opera. So intense. I just every, well, I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm just going to do it. I'm going to be like Tesla, I'm going to put it. And then I fell back into it. And then now I'm back in the thing where when I'm not wearing makeup,

I see myself as looking so much more tired. But if you weren't wearing makeup anyway, then, yeah, you kind of used to your own face, bald, which I think is a really, positive, that is a really positive thing, but not everyone can, you know, get there as what I'm saying. So don't feel bad if you're listening. You're like, oh, I do wear makeup. I know, I know. It's definitely, that was definitely an active choice. Well, it's not really active choice. It doesn't sound like an active choice, but it sounds like something that you've accepted and now, and you're like, cool.

I think it was a bit like when various hairdresser said I wasn't allowed to fringe, you know? They were like, what was that? Upkeep. Yeah, fair. You're not going to do it. No, that's correct. They were like, there's no way. You know, the problem's like, are you going to get up every day an hour early. and like do your fringe. Oh my gosh. No. And then he was like, well, you can't have one then. I've got a fringe and I really liked it when they did it.

And then I had to pin it back here because so when I went to get my hair cut last week, she went, oh, you've got one of them like, you know, like Dolly Alderton has like beautiful like Bridget Bardot style kind of like. I basically got one of those and was like, God, I look beautiful. She basically did a thing with a hairdry and was like, this is how you make it. And I was like, oh, great. Have it done it since won't do it again. So I'm just letting it grow out because I can't have one. So it's not just you like with the fringe thing.

I think that is like a gen. Like it's just a pain in the ass. Yeah, but that's the thing like, it's something that if you get joy out of doing your makeup or doing your fringe, it's like, great, do it. So it's like, know yourself.

And I was like, similarly with the makeup, I was like, I'm never going to get up early and like, do this well. So I just won't. It's much, much harder to unlearn that as an idea to be like, I'm now going to be a person

who doesn't wear makeup every day when you have done since you were 12. You know, whereas I just never had. So it was just a natural, it was a barely one step to the left to be the decision to be like, I just won't wear makeup in the day every day. But also it means that when you don't wear it very often, and then when you put it on, you're like, oh my God, I'm a princess.

I suppose people are like, how do you feel not awkward at a party? Or how do you feel so confident? I'm like, well, I think I look like a princess in LA, you know? Yes. A good, sturdy self-confident base. Yeah. And then added. Yeah, not wanting to get up earlier.

And those two things collide. I didn't really use it as a foundation, but it was like a lovely BB cream, like a moose. Yeah. I used to love Dream Matt Moose. Dream Matt Moose. I loved the feel of it and that's what all the girls more.

Someone described it as the look, feel and texture of a tiramisu. And I was like, Jesus Christ, it is, yeah. Or a moose. Sure, sure, or a moose. Now you say it. It's got the word in the title. That is also a great example of like just putting something on because it was the thing

and completely irrelevant to actually if it looked good or not. Mid-2000s, people were doing a nude lip. With your tiramisu. With people would get stick concealer and use it as lipstick at my school. Yeah. And then put lipstick over the top. I did it.

And also it would clag around. So you look like you'd eaten skin? Like the whole thing is absolutely horrific. And also like you look dead. It looked fine. Right. So obviously. No, sorry.

I'm trying to tell you about my BB cream. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. It's La Roche Pose. Very expensive and nice. Yeah. It came out of your beauty cupboard when you worked at the debrief. Ten years ago.

That's right. That's right. Right, okay It's fantastic Oh yeah Oh yeah And then the last dregs of it Got confiscated at Gatwick

And by confiscated I mean I left them there That's very much Which is a terrible blow Yeah And it's been discontinued And I feel furious Because when you do find something

That you really love It's so hard Okay we begin Your routine There's no No because the whole No I don't do anything I just woke up like this

The thing is I can say what my routine is But it's almost irrelevant Because basically I've tried all of of the things and done all of the things you'd imagine when I heard about the cleansed tone and moisturise when I was like 10. I was like, right, I'm doing that. Like I saved up all my money from my, I don't know, pound a week I got and I bought that and obviously came out in a rash

immediately. He was like, this is pointless. What was the initial thing of being like, this is what I want to spend my pocket money on? Of course. Let's go back even further. Yeah, to the moment of your conception. So my mom does her makeup incredibly well. Still does, looks beautiful, I think, all the time. She also, as well, is very genetically blessed, so she is beautiful. She also has very, very sensitive skin. So she always would use aquaic cream. And that was, like, the things, that aquaic cream, because she couldn't use the fancy stuff. So I was like, well, I want to try the fancy stuff because, like, mom used the aquas cream.

And, like, but, like, I want to try the kind of, like, go one step further because I wasn't allowed to wear makeup because I was, like, 10. So my skin routine became, like, my thing. But then, like, I couldn't do it because, turns out, it faced my mess. That cycle of trying things to do the cleanser tone of moisturized, realizing my face is a mess. realizing my face is a mess and trying something else, ended five years ago when I realized Aquish cream is the best thing for my skin, so now I just use Acquist Cream.

Like getting out of the shower and you're like, oh, I bet the molten brown one is like, or the, you know, like, what, like, fucking Chanel have come up with a new body cream. I've got to, it turns out the, like, coconut oil is the only thing that will work on my skin as well. So like, it's basically trying everything and then stop thinking about what everyone else is doing

and actually realize what is good for you. Small sidebar. Often in those, like, you know, Victoria Beckham, let's look in her makeup case in a magazine. They're always, all the women are always saying, oh, it's Nivia, number seven, the blue cream. I'm always like, as if you're just pretending, it's a real sort of like, oh my God, what I really love is a burrito. And you're like, shut your goddamn mouth. You haven't had a burrito since 1994.

Yes. And I really was very anti-number seven for this exact reason. And then I actually tried that number seven blue cream. And I was like, mm-hmm. It is nice. Very cheap and very, just like extremely hydrating and good. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm open to the idea that actually, someone.

of the staple cheap stuff that's just been like, we're doing the same thing for the last 30 years is actually quite good. It's actually quite good, yeah. But then like occasionally, for example, like there's a foundation and concealer that I use, I think it's called like Shishido or something. And that's quite expensive. And I've only just recently discovered it and I quite like it. But then like, I'm not going to say that's the only foundation that will work. Because it doesn't, it isn't. Like it won't work for you. And having like things like saying like have an SPF in your foundation. Like, yeah, good. But then some people will be like, you've got to put SPF on anyways. You're like, fuck this. Like the whole thing is.

like everything else, there's not a right answer. And even if you get the right answer, you'll find an article going, that's actually really bad for you. So you shouldn't. So that's why you've literally just got to find out what you like. The next big learning thing was the thing that I think we all know academically, but in practice,

it's so hard to get away from, which is when you look at those like TikTok makeup things, it won't work on your face. They're all either really fit. And so then when they do anything, they're like, how to make your eyes bigger? Your eyes are massive. Or like, my thing is like, I'll be like under eye circles and like eyes sort of so they're not so like close together.

So like that's my thing. I'm always like I've got eyes like Cyclops. Like I literally look like a cyclops. How to not look like a cyclops. And so I watch loads of those things. And of course all the girls doing it, they don't actually need it. There's a lot of TikTok, a lot of Instagram, a lot of that stuff is just lies. So I feel like if you're going to go into that thing, you've got to go into it in like a research capacity and just be like, right, find someone that looks quite like.

like you and does stuff that you'd really like to do, but the looking quite like you is really crucial. Just like if you're trying to do kind of like, I don't know, my sister follows those of fashion people to kind of get ideas for outfits. And she follows people who are the same size as her. And just like, if you're not that size, you have to find other influencers who are bigger, smaller, curvy, a size 12 to 14 or size 6. And there's so many to pick from. And you pick those people so you see what the clothes will actually look like styled on a body that looks like your body. And so then if you look at it and go, God, that looks good.

You can legitimately recreate that. Rather than going, God, that looks good on a model. Like, of course it looks good. I think with the facial thing, it's not just like, oh, their face looks like mine. It's like maybe you need one person for the eyes, one person for your nose, one person for your lips, one person for their chin, one person for this,

and be like, okay, what are we doing? Yeah. What are we doing on the chin today? What are doing on my chin? And targeting bits are like there'll be bits that, I think there'll be bits that you go, oh, I want to look like that. And then you try it and it just doesn't work. Then rather than just go, well, I can never wear eyeliner because I can't do a big

Amy Wine has cat eye. Very up to note reference there. Or like, lipstick's a really great one because lips are very particular. So it's like, I want to do a red lip, but I've got thin lips. So I feel like that just doesn't look good. It was like, okay, well, maybe it's just that red. Like, don't do red. Try and do like one that's closer to your normal lip color.

And then once you get kind of vine wearing that without feeling. very self-conscious, then go a bit more red. And then go a bit, rather than going like, well, I can't do a scarlet lip from nothing. So what's the point? Or I can't do liquid eyeliner, huge cat eyes. I'm just never going to wear eye makeup. If you don't want to wear eye makeup, don't wear eye makeup, that's fine. But, like, it's not all or nothing.

Eyes are really good because there are loads of really good different types of ways of doing eyeliner. So basically little tiny, and like having fun and going like, this is a fun thing rather than go, oh, God. Like, I don't look like that 18-year-old girl. You're like, well, no, you don't, because they're completely different facial shape to you. But the point is that you said earlier, which is the main point is if you don't find it fun, like, don't do it. Like, if you're like, oh, God, everyone else is doing their makeup and I'm not asked.

Like, you're not asked. That's all right. The message is always to simply live your life. But I think what I'm going to take away is being like, I'm maybe going to Google, like, different types of eye. and try and work out what kind of eyes. What is an eye? What is an eye? And then I'm going to, maybe hopefully I'll find a chart.

I'm just hoping the internet have got a chart out there. Like here are the different eye shapes. Yeah. And I'd be like, okay, what kind of eye shape have I got? And then go start from there to be like, okay, is there other interesting stuff I could do? Yeah, because you could do like sort of like a top, like a very light brown pencil and then smudged it and just try. So it almost looks all. The great one is eye shadow, just like a very, very light brown.

eye shadow and just kind of did around, like, and just tried to see what happens if you do that, smudging it and smudging it, so it's really, really gentle. Like, the gentler, the better to start with. Whereas when you're a teenager and you're like trying out makeup, it's like, you just want to like, you know, that's why everyone walked around looking wild, because everyone's just like, everything. But now, you know, you could actually like have a go without going straight in at, oh, this is how Kim Kardashian does her eyes. You know, well, that's impossible for most, for any one really. Because those are Kim Kardashian's eyes.

So all you're really learning on those Instagrams is like how to do that person's makeup. Yeah. And a lot of them, a lot of the eye ones as well, they'll look, they're really trick seekers. They'll look, there'll be a close up and it'll look great. But then you'll notice like none of the skin is like moving. Like because that person may have had like some sort of work done, they've got very tight skin. Oh, listen.

All that stuff. Let me tell you something from the grout community. I think it's about time. We brought that up, actually. Everyone's clamoring for some work from grout. That's what I'm advertised constantly on Instagram. Grouting? Yeah.

Okay. So in the suggested posts or whatever, it's grouting. Yeah, a lot of grout. Or a lot of, like, this amazing thing that, like, does this quickly. DIY. Yeah, DIY. Or, like, cleaning. Like, a lot of, like, getting the white in your, between your tiles,

clean or something like that. Yes, okay. Some of that shit, you know. You've been doing a lot of DIY recently. Yeah, but they also know that this is long before that. I was always obsessed with anything that was like quick and easy fix. Okay. That was always what they're advertising to me.

Anyway, one of the things I have been watching for a while every time it pops up and I do think, God, that looks satisfying to use, is this thing that goes along your grout, which is the bit between your tiles. Yes. And then it just like the little machine goes along and then the back behind it is just immaculate. Oh my gosh, it's the fucking mop, the hut, and it goes along the kitchen floor. Yeah, and it's like a track. Like an ice rink.

Like it's plowing a field. And you're like, I want that. I want to do those incredibly satisfying things. Then, so I've been watching it for a while, considering getting it, somebody in the Grout community comments was like, this video is backwards. That's how they get them to look like that. Yeah. So it is already clean. And then the thing goes along and puts the mess on it. That's so right. And then they show it to you backwards. So it looks like it's cleaning up the mess and returning to it. But it was already clean. And after that I was like, okay. It really felt I'm into the Matrix. Yes. I've overwoken.

Yeah, definitely. I've read pills myself on the grout community. But I was like, that's what they're doing. A lot of the makeup stuff. You know, similar, I watched this woman clip a little bit of, a little bit of cellar tape. sort of here to above her eye and her whole face go completely different. And she was like, it's completely invisible and did look invisible. I saw those things. It's not invisible. Of course it wouldn't be. I bought it, obviously. Did you? Yes. And did it help? No. Help what? I mean, my eyebrow was higher. Like, that's literally what happened. I'm like to tellerate my eyebrow higher.

Oh, well, that could be something. It's definitely something. But then when she, because she was like, look, it's a sew up like this. And then she peeled it up. And then she was like, and now this is my normal eye. And she was basically She was just completely like squinting it shut. So it would look more impressively different. And it did. And it did work because we bought it. You know, the advert worked, but it didn't work.

Sorry, yeah, of course. That's my point. The advert worked. And this is it, so much of it is like, oh, I'm doing it wrong. Everyone else is doing it right. I'm just slapping it on. I don't know what I'm doing. Be like, it's your face.

And whatever you're doing is correct. If you don't enjoy doing it, don't do it. If you'd like to experiment, make sure you find somebody that's got exactly your eyes. And ask for them back. And skin tone as well. And like everything about it is like just try to match it. And also like ask your friends and stuff because there's so many instances where I've noticed that like, I don't know, I've gone to a party or something and someone's got like a really cool.

Basically my sister does really cool like eye makeup. And I asked her like where she got the stuff from and she told me and I got it. And it is amazing. But like when I put it on, it's this really cool, um, eye shadow pen that's very sort of with high pigment. So it's like really colorful when you put it on. but when I put it on I'm wearing a headscarf and I can't stop being like

look at my headscarf like a hat a headscarf's a weird choice I wouldn't wear a headscarf but like you know a hat a top hat and all I'm doing is thinking

like God I've got this big perk because I can't deal with eyeshadows I've got this big purple eye shadow on everyone must be thinking well she's certainly put some purple eye shadow on and like that's not

and I wear makeup every day but I can't deal with the purple eye shadow like so everyone's got their own sort of their own bar their own thing and it's so unhelpful to go into that thing of like, you've got an oval face, so you should shade this bed of your cheekbone.

You've got lips like this. So you should, it's so, once you start getting into that, because there are loads of like TikTok filters that, like, show you how you should do your eyebrows or like what you should. And it's all, all of that, apart of the fact that it's bullshit, like, you know, that kind of like, you know,

everyone's eyebrow hairs are now like vertical. Have you seen that? And like, when you get them laminated, Gina got hers, my sister got hers, has laminated. And then, like, she was like, yeah, it was great for a day. And then you sleep on it. And it gets all messy.

But because it's all like covered in glue, it's just messy and covered in. So my eyebrows looked absolutely horrific for like two weeks afterwards because I couldn't get them straight again because they kinked my actual eyebrow hair. And I was like, this sounds horrific. It's everything. It's like, you know, you go like, oh, I should get a bikini wax and you're ingrown hair? And you're like, well, I can't sit down, for example. And everything has got an element to it that's like a bit shit.

And nothing is as good as it seems. So all of that, like, what you should do, what you shouldn't do, don't think about that. Just think about the things like for you. It's like you clearly like creams. You clearly like blusher and things like that. Great. Pick something nice and like pick something low level, but you're not going to be like,

I'm like a clown because you don't need to look like a clown. And you don't need to feel like you look like a clown. There's no need to do that. Like just don't force yourself to do anything. Which feels like quite an anodyne how to do makeup episode. Because it's like, don't worry. But well, don't worry. This is my final thought because we must come to the end.

Capitalism. Oh God. They cannot sell you anything if you do not believe that your eyebrows need to be laminated. Absolutely. They cannot sell you the stuff unless you think there is something wrong with you

and that is just your decision to be like, I think I look great. Yeah. You won't sell me anything. And also, if you do want to dabbling capitalism, there are other ways to look, put together like, okay, so you're not like a big makeup person. Then do you, like, make your hair your thing.

You know, do, like get your nails shalact and like if you're going to a party, I mean like for a party and you want to look. You don't have to have like a full faceful of makeup to look put together. Often people just look like they're wearing, if you're wearing loads of makeup, you often just look like you're wearing loads of makeup. At the moment it's about clean girl aesthetic, which is like literally what you do.

Oh, that's lucky. Yeah. I've waited my whole life for this to come around. I know, it's happening. Clean girl it is. Soaking wet. Yeah. Was that helpful? Who's to say?

Who's to say? Charlie, from a year ago, I don't think that's helped you. I would watch you if you wanted to do one. Instagram videos where you just chat to us about like the patriarchy while doing your makeup. You seen those? I can't stop seeing them. But there's not just like people talk about important things but also while doing their makeup. Yeah, while doing their makeup. And I think they're captivating to watch. They are captivating to watch. I think it's interesting. Maybe I'll do one that's like how I do my makeup but I'll talk about something else. All right. But also I just don't

believe I could ever actually do that. Why? The ick factor of me doing it is so huge. I'd just be like, all I've got in my head is that everyone in those screenshots it and sent it to each other being like, oh God, she's done it. She's finally become, she thinks she's some sort of influencer. And I wouldn't be meaning to do it for that reason. I don't, I don't. I don't. I won't.

Well, spiral at the beginning, spiral at the end. Yeah, lovely. And I think that brings us neatly to our next episode, how to care less about what other people think. Oh my God, we should do that. Go and feel good. B, don't worry. C, go and find some people that look like

you. You do you and just like a little bit of blending and eye pencil. Very nice. Perfect. Very nice. Perfect. Thank you everyone. Goodbye. Goodbye.