Nobody Panic - How to Endure a Long Hospital Stay

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Oof. Horrible thing to go through. Whether it’s you or a loved one going through it, Stevie and Tessa have some listener suggestions to make things as bearable as possible. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to Nobody. I'm so bored. Sorry, did you forget what the episode was for a minute? Well, no, I knew, but it took me a moment to know.

Yeah, yeah. So perfect. Because in my head, you can really see the equipment. Now, I can I now? Yes. But it just took me a second. Of course. Boo-dub, bo-du. Well, we're hoping to bring you some light-hearted relief.

What do you need? Because you're in hospital. Exactly. Hello. Number one, listen to this podcast. It's us. your bedside manor pals. Yeah. Well, there's something to distract you, isn't it?

It is. We could do a guided hospital stay, but then we'd have to live for 10 days, and that'd be good. Oh, just us relentlessly. Yeah, that'd be bad. No, we, this is possibly some of you are actually listening, has been sent to you by, from a well-meaning friend,

who does mean well when they send this to you. And so far, you're like, I don't like it. No. But they were trying to offer you some light relief. This is a how to endure a long hospital stay. It's a toughie. It is. It's a toffee.

and also it's so varied because it's like, okay, well, the difference between a long hospital stay if you're in a private hospital, if you're in an NHS hospital, very, very different, if you're listening from the UK. I don't know about any other countries what your hospitals are doing. But also as well, like, why you're there, you know, if you've broken your leg, or if you've got something that is like, like, you know, not going to mend, you know. And I think we're going to stay on the side of just a hospital stay that you know at some point you will be leaving the hospital.

Simply endurance. Yes. Because complicated medical, psychological approaches are not our strong sweet. No. Not our strong sweet. Yes. Yeah.

We don't. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. So really sorry if a friend has sent you this. There's two women going, we don't know.

Are you okay? We don't know. Good luck. But even if you're in hospital for something like I said broken leg, So that was like, you know, you're in their broken leg. It's scary. It's painful. It's boring.

It's overwhelming. It's overwhelming and how boring it is. Also, as well, like, at every point, someone could come in and tell you something else that you have to do that might be really painful. Absolutely. Constantly on edge as well. Oh, God. What's this?

What are you going to do now? There's a lot of that. God, guys. Oh, God. Anyway, this goes out to, I mean, goes out to everyone. It does. But it was inspired in December. by a lovely listener called Tash, who we send much good wishes and grapes down the post to you.

Grapes down the post. These are audio grapes that we're sending you. Tash wrote to us in December from a hospital where she'd gone in with a broken leg and hopefully now is out and on the mend, but sent her, she wrote at the end of her email just to say, excuse the morphine writing this email, exclamation mark. But we thought, this is a not. Tip one, lots of morphine. Tip one, lots of morphine.

but unless we thought we would address hospital stays. Yes, because also my mum was in there for sort of around the same time as Tash, maybe a little bit before, like two, three weeks in November. And because also, like, I've never touched all the wood. I've never had a long hospital stay. And I haven't really spent that much time in hospitals at all. So that was like the first time when I went in every day. And she suggested this episode as well.

She was like, oh, it might make a good, nobody panic. And I was like, you should come on. And she's like, no, I couldn't possibly. No, thank you. So I asked people who follow me on Instagram to give us some tips, and then mum also gave me some tips via that. You could have just text me, Mom, if you're listening, but I like it.

I don't think she realizes I can see it's her. Yeah, so we've got some, so we'll basically be led by the advice of those who have experienced it. And already, spoiler alert, before we get into our most adult thing we've done this week, about 60% of the advice is either just the word snacks or bring snacks. So that's obviously like a huge thing. And it can be quite hard, I think, because if you're on morphine or if you're on certain medications, you can also not be hungry. And you can not like, and so that can be really hard too.

But as long as you've got like nice things around you that you can be like, well, if I, when I get hungry, I'm going to absolutely, I was going to say muller that watermelon. Well, watermelon's obviously a bad snack to break it. But, you know, nice chocolates, lint balls, that sort of stuff. Lint balls, oh my. Yeah. Yeah. All lovely bits. Protein bars as well. So you feel like you're like doing something helpful to help your body knit back together. Get the stuff and... Mmm, delicious. I eagerly touching with have been very lucky to remain out of hospital. I spent some time with my granddad a couple of years ago. went, have you seen Succession?

Of course. Now, sorry, this is not a spoiler, but I'm certainly going to reference an episode. In one of the episodes, Logan, Roy, starts being quite incoherent and saying quite baffling things, referencing stuff that isn't happening, wanders off. And I, I was, before

the characters did, was like, he's got a uti, he's got a kidney failure, he's got the, piss mad, he's gone piss mad. And then a bit later, everyone was like, he's gone piss mat. And I was like, hooray, I knew it. My granddad had that. He had a catheter for something separate, and then I actually don't know the logistics of what happened, but nonetheless, urinary tract failure and things went awry. And it is so recoverable from, as happens to Logan Roy, it passes very quickly, but the immediate onset looks pretty much like dementia.

And so when Grandad went to hospital, sort of over his head to my grandma, they kept me like, and has he got dementia? And she was like, genuinely, no, it sounds like we're lying, but no, while he's like, I know. And who am I? And but I was like, and then he was just put on a ward with all other gentlemen who all had the same thing. So they were all piss mad. And you'd go and see him and he'd be like, what kind of dog is that? What kind of dog is that? And you'd be like, I don't know, Granddad.

What kind of dog do you think? And he'd be like, I think it's a terrier. And you'd be like, I think it's a terrier as well. But it would be like a man's foot. Whereas my grandma was going, there's no dogs in here, Don. Oh, God. And you'd be like, grandma, just roll with it. Anyway, the point of this story is just that while we're all being like, yeah, what is that kind of dog?

And like, he kept saying that there was a thing at the window, he'd go, at the window, and then pops up at peekaboo, like this, peekaboo! And then he's, you can't see me, but I'm wiggling my fingers on my head. And that was a key part of it. Like a chicken wattle. Like a chicken wattle. Like these four little fingers on the head, warbling. And he'd go, at the window, it's peekaboo. There it is. And then other men in the ward also started saying that they could also say, see the peekaboo at the window and it was and they would all mind me that it was popping up and down and this and we were all like yes well I guess it is a terrier like everyone was and then it turns out they were on the ground floor of the hospital there was an escaped peacock in the ground and the only people it was visiting was the piss mad gentleman who every time they tried to tell that there was a peekaboo at the window everyone was like that's right yeah yeah I bet there is and and it would come and it would do its full thing that's like doing your hands yeah and it's showing it

sit and do its full thing and of course nobody believe them. Anyway that's my experience of hospitals. A bit of a bit of a fan there. Is it as a peacock listen to people when they say? Listen but also sometimes they can as a dog so. I don't know isn't it? Yeah. Hospitals.

Hospitals are place. Before we get into the advice and tips that you sent in, what's the most adult thing you've done this week? Chesa. Thank you for asking Stevie. You're welcome. Mine is that I, in a email chain with a man. Yes.

Crucial information. Yes. It was somebody just organising some dates for something. He said that the time for something was at this time. And it wasn't. I looked back on the chain and I was like, you said it was it this time. And my instinct was to be like, oh, my mistake. Oh, whoopsie, silly old me.

Because I'd already said, I thought it was at this time. Because that's what you said. And he was like, no, it's at 12 o'clock. And so I went back, I checked, I fact checked myself. I was in the right. And my instinct was to be like, oh dear. And then, but then I said, I was like, come on, girl, you're not in the wrong. And what do we know?

We mustn't just let men say things. And we all say, oh, whoopsie, my mistake. It's noon when it's not. I'm ever so sorry. I think you might have not attached the attachment. I'm ever so sorry. What am I talking about? Anyway, and so I said, I think this is where we went awry.

Yeah, very good. I still had to do us both. I couldn't just say you fucked up. And I sent like quite a stern email saying, just explaining why I thought that because this is what I'd been told. And I felt very brave and powerful. And he didn't reply for about an hour. And then just sent two separate emails with a link to the new time.

And then it was like for clarity, putting them in a new email. So he didn't apologize or anything. But it felt like a, it felt like in a small, a small step that at least I didn't apologize for his mistake. mistake. Yeah, it's tough emails. Come on. Could Gmail get on our side? I just, for once. Come on, it's almost like Google isn't on the side of the people. It's almost like it's Google, male. For male, Google, male. Could it be, could it err to the side of an apologetic female?

Who just wants to prove that she wasn't in the wrong, actually? Giffemail. Gafemale. Please sign up to our new email platform. Oh, dear, bit of fun. Are we distracting you yet in the bed? Is this helpful? Maybe you are being distracted. Please, Stevie. What's your adult thing of the week?

So my adult thing is linked to a topic of the podcast that I was hoping by now I'd be able to not only do, but lead on. Because I would have passed my driving test. But I haven't. I haven't taken it yet. Okay. So I, if anyone follows me on Instagram, you will know this. I signed up to an intense, like a semi-intensive course. I'll do it over two months rather than a week or a month.

And I'll do two five-hour lessons a week. Great. And that was what I did. And it took me a little bit longer. About, I'd say, well, I paid for 40 hours. And when we got to the 40-hour market, I still wasn't ready to take my test. This was like before Christmas, I was really devastated. I was like, oh, I'm just bad.

I'm bad at driving. Each five-hour lesson is obviously really expensive. It's like £225 in cash. and so then from December I've been paying that every time I've done my lesson and that cycle and also I'm sort of slightly not as liquid as I would like cash wise at the moment and that mixed with also like loads of life things meaning that it's just been quite busy and quite stressful meant led to like the other day me doing another lesson and

and just getting and you just keep saying you're you're all in your own head like You need to relax. Like, what is wrong with you and all of this stuff? And I just like, sort of, we had a break near an ASTA. Because there's a cash machine now and I get out $225. And I was like, oh my God. And I went to go get out. I was like, I actually can't do this.

I actually cannot do another lesson like this. I can't get into that car with that man and drive for five hours out of this area. I don't want to. And I feel like this for a long time. But I've been like, push through, you weak, pussy-ass bitch. And everybody else does it. And then I went back and I was like,

I'm going to stop and I'm going to have a break. And then I'm going to go to another instructor. I'm really sorry. And do two hours a week. And I found a woman called Beryl who does two hours a week. And she says like that she helps you with your confidence. And I was like, Thanks, Beryl, the confidence is really low.

I'm 80 hours. And I'm shit. I'm not shit. I can do all. of the manoeuvres, I can do all of the stuff. But there's just a psychological block, which comes from stopping at Astro and getting £225 and cash out every single time. Is that the beginning or the end?

Halfway through. Oh dear. Yeah. So it's a real downer. It's a real downer. Yeah. And I don't think five hours at a time is helpful for me. No.

I think two hours would actually have, could we get more done? Because you just go straight through rather than having a fucking break every five seconds. But yes. So that was a very adult thing for me to do because I normally like to just go through until I start crying or have a nervous breakdown. And I did stop before that point and accepted that it's not failure that I need a break and I maybe need to approach it in a different way from now on. That it's actually like a positive thing. And just because like, you know, all those other students have done it, you know, in less time than me apparently. that doesn't mean I'm bad at driving.

It just means that, like, I'm taking longer to get to grips with this death machine that I'm, you know. A hundred percent. Have you started with Beryl yet? No, I start with Beryl in three weeks time. I'm really excited for your journey with Beryl. So brave of you when you're like, actually, this is one isn't serving me. Let's pivot. And there's no failure here.

We're just pivoting to something that does serve me. Pivot. Pivot. Pivot to Beryl. Okay, right. Well, you're nothing if not distracted, I would say. the listener in the hospital bed is nothing if not really on a journey here. Yes.

As they desperately wait for the tips to how to endure this day. Oh look. It's happening. It's already happening. Number one, listen to podcasts. You've already completely forgotten. You're in hospital.

That was... Tick. And that was a tip that I was going to say is the top tip because when mum was in hospital, she had hurt her back and her neck so she couldn't move or sit up for two weeks.

And so she was like lying flat. So she couldn't see anything at all. She couldn't even like really chat to other people or anything or like it was just everything in her line of vision was just the ceiling. Oh, it was really horrible. And so we, me and Gina, my sister, and actually then my partner, The Shadow also did it as well. We recorded podcast like fake podcasts for her about her points of interest. And then also my partner.

did sleep stories. So he just read, he just talked about like Dolby Atmos sound and transfer windows in American sports. But actually turned out she was quite interested. He just like, he kept saying every like 10 minutes, you're probably asleep now, but I'm going to keep going. But I wasn't and I've really enjoyed it.

Well, there's something lovely about a familiarity of, yes. Of being like, you know, because you can visit during the visiting hours. But then when you're alone at night just to have like, you know, you guys there in her ear listening, chatting, talking about her interest. What a beautiful thing to have made. for her. Yeah. So I suppose if you're in hospital, ask your loved ones to record voice notes for you,

just talking about, like, fun shit. That would be nice. They'll probably be delighted to be given such a specific quest. Yes, a thing to do to help. Yeah. Have more grapes, even though grapes is tip number two. Yeah, that's so, that's so, yeah. Because you need something to block out the weird beeping sounds. And often you're with other people in the ward, like you said in the, in the, the piss mad gentleman's ward. Yeah. And sometimes, you, other people can be having like a really bad time and and and it sort of bums you out. Did she have, was she in the same bed, the actual same physical room? She was.

She moved about a lot. She moved about for the first little bit, but then she was in the same. Could you have rigged up an iPad with like a McConnell set up so it was like directly above her head? You'd hope for that but no because there's so much going on like, you know, at 5am is when like they're woken up and then suddenly there's, medication happening or then there's a weird beeping things or she needs to go to the bathroom or she'd think it would be at least kind of

relaxing and boring but it can't it is boring but there's so many things happening you can't even just get into a rhythm there's no night or day there's simply there's simply time passing yeah so that was the thing that I because I sort of thought well it's alright it's not alright but you just sleep or you just if you're on more

see session you know well yeah exactly watch but you kind of can't watch succession unless you know well you can but you can't rig it up to the ceiling. No. Yeah. I was thinking it's like on Macano and then on wheel. So you could wheel it back.

We'll live back and forward. But if I built it, it would drop directly onto her face. And now the only part of it is all right, the face, that's also. That's gone. So she's in hospital for that as well. That is the fear. And especially if you're in a quite busy NHS hospital, the nurses would be like, can you not erect that Macaano structure around that patient?

Who's made that? Oh, my daughter's co-podcast host has built me this. And wheeled it in. And I can't raise my arms. I can't turn it off. It's just trapped there. It's just on the whole time. How many people were on the ward with her?

About 10. Gosh. And then there was a woman around the corner who was just screaming the whole time. And that's just so sad and upsetting to hear. And then people are getting rushed in and out all the time as well because people get rushed in and that they've like just, like a woman had just fallen off her horse and had broken her. neck and it's like oh god and so then she's really upset because she's new to the ward whereas everyone

else there had been there for a while so they're kind of like in their own kind of in their own rhythm yeah and a thing that someone here said um which i thought was really good is don't be afraid to press the buzzer and call for a nurse if needed and don't be afraid to bother anyone that's like basically it was just a room full of women that didn't want to bother anyone and just being like i'll hold it i don't need the toilet that much you're like well you do like and there's nothing worse The only thing worse than being in that bed is like being in that bed and feeling guilty for asking for anything. You know, feeling bad for being like, I'm really hungry. Like, I know there's been a meal, but is there, oh, there's some biscuits.

And there always are. And like, or like, I'm in pain and the morphine isn't enough. Or can, or the doctor came and explained something, but I didn't actually know what he meant. Like, could someone explain it to me? Like there's all you, you're never, it's hard because what, I felt anyway while I was there, it did feel, I'm sure it depends on what hospital you're at, but the hospital we were at was so understaffed. It was like astounding. So you can feel like you are a bother because in those moments, you sort of everybody is a bother because the nurses don't have enough time. But that

doesn't mean you should, like, that's not your problem. Yeah. Like, that's the government's problem and the nurses, and that's a whole separate thing, but you can't let your health or your comfort be second best just because it's like, well, she's got so many people to look after. Yeah.

It's so important, forcing yourself to advocate for yourself. My tiny experience of that is that several winters, several winters ago, I got very sick, and eventually went to the doctors and revealed I had been coughing up blood. And then they like moved me into the like tuberculosis unit to be like tested for everything. And I was absolutely fine. But they were so cross with me, like genuinely very cross. They were like, how long has this been going on?

And I was like, oh, weeks. And they were like, you've been coughing up. And I was like, and I literally was like, I didn't want to be a bother. Like I didn't want to. I didn't think it was that big a deal. And they weren't like, oh no, you must always. like genuinely cross of being like this is what the service is for like you have to we can't mind read and come into your house to help you like you have to be saying what's wrong and putting

your hand up it really like shocked me into trying to be better about health things um because they I really thought their thing would be like oh no come on always let us it was like they were really cross yeah um marching me to the public tuberculosis ward but coming up blood for weeks hasn't said a thing I'm curiously me. So yeah, it makes, not that it makes their job easier, but like they can't be, the nurses can't be guessing that you need help or anything that you, it's that, you know, just putting your hand up to be like, these are the things I need. And also you can't do it for yourself. You have to say, please, I need the toilet, you know? Yeah. And it's, there's not, that's the hardest thing.

Which is also a huge thing to get your head around of like relinquishing your dignity and your pride and your independence and all of those things because now suddenly someone has to help you do these very basic tasks that you used to be able to do. Yeah, that was a big one I thought. It was just like the toilet stuff was just like nobody should have to, especially if you're, you've gone in there for something that means you can't like go to the toilet properly. My mum was just like, it was horrible.

And the only way she could, she didn't really say anything about it to us for ages. And then, and then something happened and she was really upset and it was just really horrible and she felt really sad. And so then we would, I was saying like, well, you should, you should do a. The catheter? The bed pan. The bed pan. Yes.

Which you think, okay, it's just like a potty or you just go, but like, you know, if you're lying down horizontally. Yeah. And you can't get up and you have to go to the toilet in essentially what is like a very flat egg box that doesn't really have any sides. No. Well, it must be the worst experience ever. So the only way she could get through it was like maybe like asking the questions and like talking about it. And like, I was like, you should come on and do a nobody panic episode. how to use a bedpan, like,

because you must have some, like, techniques, like, try, and she was like, no, I don't. It's like, well, you've got to go in there with, like, okay, so next time I'm going to work out how, what, like, the best way, like, you've got to separate yourself from the horror of it, like, and just be like, well, there's going to be a point where I'm not going to have to have to do this. So I'm going to, I'm going to, like, figure out the bedpan hack, you know,

or I'm going to. Investigative journalist style. You become an investigative, you become Emily Mettliss. of the bedpans. You had to be that of the bedpan world. Yeah. Yeah, exactly right. I think there's a reason that like people,

that you have this like matronly attitude to being a nurse or being a paramedic or anything that has this like, come on, let's, let's, you know, because there's just no space to be anything other than like practical and pragmatic and we're getting it. There was something that someone said, which is like, if one of the staff, I can't remember, it was like, if one of the staff is mean or you don't like them, like, do complain, that was the other thing. There's so few staff, but there was one woman who was just fucking horrible to mom, like, one night, and we were so angry. And she complained, and after we were like, you got like a bitch, she was like, no, I will.

I was like, fucking will. And then, you know, that woman was just like, just put on a different ward. I mean, God help everyone else was on the ward. But, like, if you don't say anything, that woman's going to come every night and do exactly the same thing. Yeah. Because there are people who are wonderful and caring. And then there are some people who work in hospitals who aren't very nice. And, you know, you can, God bless the NHS, but if there's, there are also dicks in there. Just like everywhere.

There are dicks everywhere. There are dicks everywhere. And then super long phone cable for charging. Just simple and practical. Simple and practical. Get someone to bring you a super long phone charger. Perfect. Yeah.

Eight meters? Yeah. Perfect. Don't fuck it, but, you know. Yeah. Well, there's a little other, other little bit of advice for you. I'm just really, I'm really capital of it, but I'm also really got a lot of emotions. Yeah, it is an emotional one

And I think that's the That was the other thing That someone said Which I think is very true It's like It's okay to like Fucking hate it Yeah

Yeah, so like my friend WhatsApp me With a bunch of things He's been in hospital Loads a few years ago And so much of it Is like Just trying to kind of

Personalise it as much as you can Because the hospital Routines are so depersonising And I think that's why it feels so shit is suddenly you're just, you're coming into contact with like the fact that our bodies can fail. You're also seeing what else could happen because there's loads of other people around you being like, well, this happened to me and you're like, I didn't even know that could go wrong. Like, what do you mean? You can see people who are worse off than you and then you feel

really like scared and better off than you and then you feel really jealous. Also as well, unfortunately, often you don't know when you're going home. So it's just like, well, you're going to have to stay for a few weeks and people are quite vague about it because the waiting times are really bad. So you can just feel like you're not a person. So Sam said set yourself your own routine for showering and getting dressed and like being a person every day that you're there. And if you can't get dressed or you can't, like you can have, you know how like you made me a long haul flight little toilet bag?

Like have a little thing there which is like, okay, so every few days you do a little face mask. You've got your nice, like you've got some like lavender spray for your pillow. You've got make sure that they're changing. your pillowcase. Like, some people here are like, decorate your room in the way you're like, oh, your room is it, right? Well, that's obviously a very particular type of hospital.

But often you won't have a room. It will just be like the little touches you can put on your bedside table. And even things like flowers and grapes can make you feel like, oh, yes, I'm in a hospital, I'm ill. Whereas if you've got something from your house, it can make you feel like a bit connected with yourself rather than just like you're playing a scene from Holby City,

which is, I used to watch a lot often. I was younger, but any film that has a hospital. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Even if you're sometimes you get moved to a room, if you've got something, you've got to go completely on your own in the contagious unit.

So, and then it's like, if you can bring anything in when you're in. Yeah, and then it's like, horrible on the ward, because there's all these other people doing their own thing and being noisy, horrible on the bit if you're totally on your own because you're so lonely in there,

horrible everywhere, really. Yeah, there's not a nice part of the hospital. No, there's not a nice part, and it is just a, an endurance thing of just like digging deep and getting through it, which is so tough. Yeah, really, really tough. And he also said, take nice PJs, like your favourite pyjamas, use all your best stuff, like your best hand cream, also get all nice stuff from M&S and don't rely on hospital Wi-Fi

to try and get people to download stuff onto your phone and your iPad, like before they come in. pretty much all hospitals have Wi-Fi, but if it breaks, it's not anyone's priority to fix it, because they've got more important things to be doing. And take your own nice tea bags and nice coffee, because the coffee and tea is always shit. Even, yeah, those little things, and then maybe have like, yeah, like, okay, well, it's time,

it's time now, it's that time, it's tea time now for me, not waiting for the tea woman to come round. It's tea time for me. Yes, it's tea time. for me now. It's my nice. It does have some crossovers with flying economy. It's very similar.

Very similar. So I think I can speak with some confidence, having flown economy. No, like, is what you're saying about the making the the first class bag, you know, and a bit, basically all my

suggestions about flying long haul. Obviously you can't, there's no peeking behind the veil because there's no better version of what you're experiencing but there is the like a crisp for madam you know there is this constant care and a but it has just you have to be the air stewardess and the the person yeah um and you sort of have just be constantly saying my lovely tea bags my lovely things my lovely pillow case my lovely pajamas I'm not just going to have the horrible blanket and the horrible pillow get some nice bits like you can bring some nice good the good crisps and again people are desperate for requests so to say

could I please have the nicest pudding you can find so many people here of saying like, don't worry about asking people for things. Don't worry about asking people when they come and visit to bring things. And that's like, it was so good when mum was like, oh, could you bring those pajamas and like, is it okay if like I get? And it was like, yeah. Like at one point, I think she was like, could I have some crackers and cheese with picolilly on it?

And I was like, yeah. Yes. So like got, made that and then got on the bus and it was like, I felt like I'd helped rather than just you kind of, because when you're visiting, all you want to do is take them out of the hospital. There's all that you can do to actually help. But practical things, yeah, like, that's why we did the podcast, or, like, downloading things onto a phone, problem solving all the time.

If I was just lying there for, like, weeks and I felt like shit, what would I like? Yeah. And then just take that. Exactly. But then it's so hard to get into the right mindset. So at the moment that you're like... Well, no, because you've flown economy, of course. Of course, I can.

What do I need an economy? Crisps. But, okay. Yeah, okay. be fine at it. I'd bring you so many eye masks. Well, yeah, that's probably so good. Yeah, eye masks.

And, like, there was, also, like, the air quality is, like, it's all dry. So we've got, we brought loads of, like, nice moisturiser and, like, made sure that, like, all our skin was nice and moisturise. And just the, like, like, comfy PJs that are, because I was, I would think immediately, like, I want my most elegant pajamas to just, you know, like, you're really cozy ones that make you go, like. So it's just your coziest, absolutely. Cashmias, your smalls, you're warm and cozy, your poo bear.

You poo bear. Oh yeah, if you can, and if you're in the, someone said that they got into knitting. Oh yeah. It's low energy, low effort. I'd say if you don't know how to do it completely, I found it quite high effort actually,

but I'm aware that that's me. If you're like, yeah, it's something that's quite like, what other sort of things could you do that are quite calming or doodling? or like... Yeah, people got into colouring books

and also embroidery, weirdly. Interesting. I don't really know what embroidery is, I think. Imagine around... Yes, that's what I'm imagining but what's that for? Oh, just for itself.

I think that just keeps it tight. I think... So then you remove the circle. Yeah, and I think then you... And then what do you do? Frame it. Well, try your hand at embroidery, everyone.

And then tell me what happens. And then tell me what. it is. Yeah, the moment you can, and if you want to, chatting to other patients and, like, taking the time to, like, get to know them or ask them questions or, like, can be quite rewarding because you'll all be together for a while, and it kind of adds a little bit of something, if there's some sort of narrative going of, like, you know, well, there's a new person, have you heard about them? And there's a peacock at the window. There's a peacock at the window. Exactly. Find your own personal peacock at the...

Get a little vibe going in the... Because also everyone understands if you're having a day where you don't want to talk. Like, that's fine. Like, I think hospitals are quite pure in that sense of like, oh, well, she was chatty yesterday. No one's going to be kick off because you're not chatty today. You're in agony, probably. So, yes, nice smelling things in capital letters,

especially soap so you don't smell like a hospital. That is so true. Don't be afraid to ask what something is. Which is so true. It's like, we're going to do the thingy thing. And you're like, what's that? Or like ask what the pills are for. Or ask what the, you know, side effects of something is.

Loop ear plugs. If you've got someone in hospital and you want to give them something nice, loop ear plugs, I've just got them just because I don't like the, I actually just wear them when I'm walking around London because it's too loud. I'm a sense of soul, they are little tiny, beautiful little ear plugs that go in there, and you can pop, they look really nice on the outside, and you can pop a little extra additional. to make them super quiet.

And they're basically noise cancelling without the big cans over your head. So Loop would be a good thing to get someone who's going into hospital as well. That sounds so nice. Don't Google other people who've had the same thing as you, I think, because that's not helpful, is it?

I would simply remind myself of the sheer miracle of modern science. Thank God you're not in the Victorian era. Right. Because you'd be gone. Yeah. That's you out. Hundreds of years have gone into the technology

to make this work, people to work out how this injection or this bit of machinery or these things work. And there's sort of something quite incredible about that even when it's all otherwise very dark. Yeah. And it is amazing what you can, as a person, get through and withstand.

I think there's so much that you can survive and the human body is incredibly, is incredible and is also incredibly resilient, and you will survive it. Yes, you will. You have to dig deep, smell your nice smells, have your nice snacks, charge everything you've ever seen.

Just go around charging things. Set up your own routine that is independent of the hospital's routine. Obviously, a bit of, like, don't just completely ignore all the hospital routine because you have to take your medication and you have to do things. But they'll bring you your little meal,

your little meal that you'll be like, Jesus Christ, but you can have your own food too. Oh, look. Madam a crisp. Madam a crisp. More better things are coming, because you asked for them and you advocated and you're doing so well. And if you are in hospital listening,

we hope that this offered distraction, if nothing else. Yes. If you have suggestions from the hospital bed, please do write into us. We'd love to hear from you. You're at Nobody PanicPodcast at gmail.com. It feels like you should do your Gandalf. This too shall pass. Oh, this too.

Oh, no, no, that's you shall not pass. It is, yeah, but the essence is the same. Just imagine Gandalf saying, who said this two shall pass? It actually nobody can you believe. Was it Jesus or was it Gandalf? Either way, my friend, this two shall pass. You will enjoy it. You will survive it.

You're doing great. Tom Hanks. Take it in tiny little incremental steps. Abraham Lincoln apparently said it too. Every motherfucker has said it. I suppose I've said it. Great. This two shall pass in the words of Abraham Lincoln and Tom Hanks.

We love you. We're sending you. Good luck. And grapes for the audio. Goodbye.