Nobody Panic - How to Go on a Long Drive

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Everybody get in the car! We're off! Stevie (can't drive but about to begin lessons in Stevie's Big Autumn) and Tessa (can drive, doesn't care for it) unpack the emotional boot of the long car journey. Snacks? Silence? Shotgun? Services? Squeeze up, make room, it's all here.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. No, you may not. Go in the back seat.

What, like, you're my chauffeur? Yes. We're going on a long drive. Shut up. Get in the car. I'm sorry. Well, I'm honk, honk. I'm backing out the driveway. Stop saying honk.

Yeah, sorry. Use the car horn. Okay. Because I thought we could do going for a long drive. Because I never really do it because I don't drive and my partner doesn't drive. The real long drives I've ever done is like a while back and I think you were driving. Yeah, it was probably me. There we go.

I really don't mind a long drive. I find them very I find it quite pleasant like to be alone like to do it with others I'm good company I bring a number of snacks like to be in the back seat

like to be in the front seat like to be driving if you're a passenger that's one of the things I'm going to ask I feel like it's on the passenger to perhaps provide the snacks absolutely whilst also

you know like if you're driving someone it's fine to obviously if you've got some snack thoughts no no I was suggesting there I was saying I'm a good driver I'm a good passenger and then I said And I bring snacks if I'm a passenger.

So I was in senior, I was agreeing. We're agreeing on the, we're agree. We are agree. We are agree. We are agree. But I do think also people find it very, what's your, tell me your feelings on a big drive. So I can't drive. That's my main feeling.

If I was driving, which I'm in the autumn, that's going to be my main thing. So expect to how to drive part two. As ever, we have part one, which is you having done the thing. And part two is me in the middle of it in tears. Part one is not actually how to drive. It's simply, it's how to be a good drive. People worry that they're a bad driver. Yeah, it was very psychologically helpful, I remember.

I think, I could agree. Because a lot of people pass their test and then never drive and then get in their head that they aren't good at it. And then they make the fatal mistake of having a person in the passenger seat who then stresses them out more. Oh my gosh, yeah. So how did you learn to drive? So how did I learn to drive?

Drive. What kind of you drive? We're not even, this isn't even what this topic is about. No, I know. I'm so, move on. I just wanted to know if you learned to drive in your parents' campus. Yes. We liked to drive in my parents' car. It was a nightmare. Yeah. It was an absolute nightmare. I was also learning to drive as my mother was going through the menopause. Like it was, it was a nightmare. And get Tom in the car. Yeah. Both of them were horrendous. Right. That's screaming at me. Mom's screaming at me. Everyone's screaming. Bloody the L plates on the back of the car. Like, oh my. And then actually I did buy myself a car. I, for 500 pounds, we got to him. He was, he was even cheaper than that. His name was Bernard. He was. was a Rover 100 Knightsbridge.

He was, no, no one does. He's a discontinued car. Sure. So when bits dropped off in, which they constantly did, it was impossible to get the bits that you needed. So he was made up of like other bits. Frankenstein. He was a Frankenstein car.

He was so broken. I mean, it sounds like quite, quite a cool car. I think I'm describing it in a sort of nostalgically nice way. It was mad to look at. And he, his gas, his front bender, fender. Okay. His front bender. of his gas.

She would be like, and you can drive, can you? And you own a car now, do you? I don't own a car now. I don't have a car. Good. Good. Good.

Good, frankly. His front bender of his gas fell off. Sounds to re-oil him. So the water tank in the front had broken. Okay. Because I had run him into the wall of a fence. It's not important why it's broken.

Yeah. But it was. And so it would leak out, but a very small leak. So you could get quite far. So in the boat in my car, I had to keep. 20, like, empty vulvic bottles filled with tap water.

Then you'd have to stop every sort of 50 miles or so, completely refill the thing and then set off again. Okay, yeah, yeah. And so I never ever took any passengers because I would show up at my friend's house and be like, Hong Kong, we're ready. And people's parents would come running out. I'll take you, I'll take you, I'll take you. Wherever you're going, I'll drive.

Get out of that. Yeah. When no one's getting in that clown car with you, I would arrive in like a cloud of smoke. Right. Okay. Okay. Well, we've got that out of the way.

So now we know... So we're in the car with me. Come on, everyone. I think tip number one, get your car emoteed before you take someone on a long drive. Otherwise, your parents will... Someone's parents or someone on the street will come out and offer to drive. So number one, does your car work? Does your car work?

Are those tyres up? All the thing, all the base level things that you must know. Before we go into the other tips, of which there'll be many, let's do our most adult thing of the week, which is a little section that we do, just to make ourselves feel better about ourselves. Tessa, what's the most adult thing you've done this week? I've lost my silver bracelet.

Okay. And I am taking it in my stride. That's really sad. I know. It's horrible. It's not really an adult thing because I'm very cross about it. It is an adult thing. And I can't get over it because it's been on my wrist for years.

Yeah. And then I looked down and it just wasn't there when it, but I was like, but I look at it all the time. Like, I feel like I look at my hands quite a lot. Famously. Famously. It won't stop looking at them. So I remember being like, well, when? I think the stress of it is knowing that I don't know when I lost it.

Yeah. And I've like retraced my steps. There's a time frame when it was last seen and a time frame when I knew it was gone. And somewhere in here, and I feel just so stressed and sick about not knowing where it is. Anyway, I'm trying. The day before I lost it, a friend lost her necklace. And where both of our birthdays were incoming. And she said, I always lose things right before my birthday.

And I was like, actually, I do too. And then she said very calmly, it is fine. Things come and things go. They do. And also I like to think that when you lose something like a nice piece of jewelry like that, what happened is you lost it and then someone's found it and gone, that's the most beautiful bracelet. And it's made their day. That's what I tried to think about.

And the best thing about it is it had this hedgehog on it. But the saving grace of the story is a week before, the hedgehog had fallen off, but I'd seen it come off. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God. And I put him in my bra drawer to be like, got to get him back on safely, but I'll go to the jewelers. And I hadn't been. so hedgehog is still safe. Right.

So part of it remains. Part of it remains. Part of it is gone. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I'm just being very zen and calm about it. And that's my adult thing. That's a really good adult thing. And that also helps me with set.

Like I've lost things or, you know, whatever it is. Sometimes at like three in the morning, I wake and be like, like, no, it's, they are possessions. And things go. They're just possessions and it's okay. Exactly. Exactly. So be zen.

And then it means like, It goes so it can make space for new things to come into your life. Yeah, absolutely. I did pole dancing lessons. Wow, wow, wow, please. Yeah. So I saw my friend, and she's been doing it for a while, and she posted, she was upside down on a pole,

and her arms just looked incredible. Like, her entire upper body, everything about it. She's like, she looked so, she was like an athlete. And I messaged for being like, how have you done this? She's like, it's honestly, it's the best thing for your upper body. I still can't do a single press up. I'm absolutely, it's like I might as well have spaghetti arms. And one of my real things is I've just been like,

okay, well, I guess that'll just never be for me. My arms will always be completely useless. And I thought, no, like, do it then. Just book a court. Like, why not? You've only got one life? And I think the thing that was stopping me with the upper arm thing was like, I don't want to go and do weights.

Like, that's boring. I thought, if I could do that. And that seems fun. And also it would be something that I can't imagine I'd be very good at. And it would be good for me to do a class of something that I'm like, maybe I'm not good at this. And anyway, yeah, basically that exact thing happened. Did the class, did six weeks, and I did five of the six.

Oh, well done. Yes. And I was the worst. And also I progressed the least. And I think everyone else, one was a gymnast. Two have done it before. One, I was like, why are you doing the beginners? Because you're upside down already.

And then one was like having a go, but better than me. And the frustration at not being able to do something. something, initially was so, like, I was just like, so embarrassed and so, but then actually I got quite good at being like, okay, I'm having a go, but I can't. So I'm going to redo the beginners. And then it was like, okay, now we're going on to intermediate. I was like, I'll pop out here. And the idea was that I would, you film yourself with some of them and then you can like see how you've progressed. But I was sort of just going, getting worse. And so the final video is me genuinely just going like, and then turning it off. So I want to get to a place where I'm able to

actually do all of the moves. Yeah, it was really fucked. Well done. So when are you going back for round two? After my holiday, when I come back, I'm going to go in the autumn for round two. Brilliant. Yeah. Learn to pole dance, learn to drive.

It's a huge autumn for you. It's a massive autumn. Stevie's massive autumn. Stevie's massive autumn. That's really, really good. Yeah. I'm really, really impressed. So, long car journeys.

We're in the car. And we're in. What is it about big drive that makes you feel anxious? It doesn't make me feel anxious, but I do feel sometimes that, and it depends who the, driver is. Sometimes I do feel like a sort of sense of pressure to be like, oh gosh, what will we do for all that time? Okay, who,

you're, sorry, I was going to say you're the driver, but you famously, I can't drive. Famously. What will we do? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, like, what if, like, so for example, I think it was once I went on a long car journey and I did fall asleep because I was really tired. And I was in the front. That was received poorly. Okay.

Because it's like, well, you should have swapped and gone in the back. I was like, I didn't know I was going to fall asleep. And then I was like, oh, I did it wrong. and now I'm like scared in case I'm in the back and I'm like want to chat but I can't hear what everyone's saying and I have to keep going what or I'm in the front and I'm asleep and everyone's like oh well she's like she's not entertaining the driver which should be your main you know your main thing okay okay okay very interesting very interesting what if you bring the wrong snacks for example once brought like sort of chips and dip and everyone was like well we can't eat that

because it's a car no it's a great I bring chips and dip so you know what actually said that. Everyone just said it, but in my head I was like, I should have done better. Well, this is part of it, I think, if I may. If I may. No one said it was bad, but I knew that it was bad, even though they were all eating it and saying thanks so much for the snacks. I knew that the car snacks were wrong. So the time that you fell asleep, that was on the group not to say, wake up or go in the back if you're going to be asleep. I think that was said and I felt very ashamed. But they just woke you up, right? They were like, come on. No, no, you know, you're not. You know, you're not.

Right, actually. No, no, it was when we changed at Toddington. Sure. And it was like, well, you should go in the back because you fell, you fell asleep. So I'll chat to Sam and Say who was driving. And that's absolutely fine, but I felt the weight of disappointment. Okay. Okay.

And I felt like I shouldn't have done that. People fall asleep. It's okay. That maybe is a tip then. So if you're tired, go in the back, if you're chatting, if you've had a coffee and you're like, up for some, and you feel like you can chat. So I think if you are, okay, so we'll begin. with your anxieties vis-a-vis sleep. We'll start there. So as the passenger, if your concern is

that I'm going to fall asleep, I think if there's, let's assume there's more than one of you as passengers. Yeah, okay. Then it's like, okay, I'm so sorry, but I need to go to sleep now. Can I start in the back? Then I'll wake up and then, because I often feel in the car, you actually need about 20 minutes. Of sleep? Yes. Then you'll wake up and you'll be like, okay, I'm better now. It was the feet. If you get in. I'm better now. Truly, you can just take shifts of 20 minutes. Oh, so shifts, shotgun. Yeah, shifts in shotgun if you're like, I'm so exhausted.

But also we, my sister famously picked me up once and we had to drive to my grandmas in North Wales. She picked me up. I was like, I'm awake. I couldn't be more awake. I'm with you for this journey. And I was like immediately losing consciousness. And she was telling me this story that was something about some fish.

And it must have been about her cooking some fish because it ends with some monk fish. Okay. So she's telling me this story. I have no idea what it is. She brings it up all the time that she would say, and I would be obviously wake up enough to know that there was a pause in the conversation, I'd be like, monkfish.

Like, try. And eventually she, so what we do... I just to pull over the car and she was being like, this is actually much worse. Yeah. So what we do now is, if a person is tired, we're like, I'm going to have my 20 minutes now, then I'll be up, then I'll be ready.

Because the bit that's nightmarish is like trying to stay awake in a moving, warm vehicle that's like all the feelings are like, lulling you to sleep. Lulling you to sleep and fighting it. But if you're like, I won't fight. it 20 minutes, you drive, I'll be asleep and then I'll put the alarm and I'll wake up and then you'll feel immediately better. Fine, okay.

So don't fight that feeling and just say like, I have to do this now. Yeah, and maybe be the person going like, I'll go in the back. Yeah. Or if you're like, I'll go in the back, I'll go to sleep and then we'll be like, we'll take it in turns and don't stress too much about it's a long journey about like when you'll be like, and now we're doing this and now we're doing this. Don't panic from the get-go that you're like, I've failed the group. What will really help you take that pressure off is.

the big autumn. Like once you yourself can drive and can feel like you can, they have experience of being a driver and know what is, what is and is not helpful as a passenger. Oh yeah. But also we'll be able to be like, I can drive for a bit if you want. No one will ever want you to. That's not directly at you. That's it like, just in general. I just think like people are generally like, I've already made the decision in my head about like how much driving they were going to do. So therefore it's a sort of like helpful but generally empty, you know, of being like I'll do some. offer, yeah. Yeah, like when sometimes when you say like, oh, do you want to bring anything for a dinner party and they kind of go, no, but like, because they're like, no, it's on me to provide all the

stuff. You're like, yeah, they've already made. You could have said yes, and that would have been fine. Exactly. They've already made the decision that they were doing the whole thing anyway. As a driver, what can you prepare for your long journey? I'm not a driver, so I don't know how that would be. Like, what are things that you feel as a driver that you need? So I think the number one thing with the big journey is like, what time do you need to be there? Just a big journey is like, often quite a pleasure. A big journey with every single minute dripping in sweat and we can't pause for one moment

because we need to be there too a talk. You're going to a show or yeah, of course, you're driving to the county fair. You know? The county fair or a wedding. You need to be in the collecting ring at 2pm. You're doing the rodeo. You're doing the rodeo and you need to be tacked up in the rodeo.

On that ball. On the ball at 2pm. And so therefore that entire journey is going to be a nightmare. Yeah. There's no, every single second you're looking at the GPS being like, I'll hate that element. I think I was set off far too early constantly. That's okay.

Then you're there early. That's nice. Yeah. Then you're like, oh great, we've got loads of time. I've actually never thought about this before. The one saving grace with public transport is,

of course, unless the train's fucked. But then everyone's like, well, the train's fucked, it's fine. But like, you can control when you're going to get there

because you're like, well, the train will get there at this point. So I'll get an, like, I'll get an earlier one just in case the train's delayed. You can't control the roads and the traffic. How do you check if there's traffic?

Great question. The internet. Okay. What's like? Are you serious? No, I'm not serious. I'm not serious. Can you? Maybe it's not for public transport.

Taxi drivers use ways a lot because it tells where the speed cameras are. It constantly updates on any traffic whatsoever. And it also has a thing in which it'll say like congestion ahead. And then when you get there, it says on the app, was it congested? And you can say like yes or no. So you're constantly. Oh, it's like aggregating. That's a good word.

Aggregating. Exactly right. It's putting everything. We're constantly, we're all helping. Oh, I like that. We're all part of the group. That's a good tip. The thing will constantly tell you about traffic and it will constantly say there's a bit of a smarter one.

Should we get off the motorway? Should we get off? Should we just get off with it? Should we get off? Should we not help? If we snog, would that help in any way? So it'll constantly suggest different routes. It's an odd one the motorway because...

Oh my God, the motorway's terrifying. You know, being in the car with people, it's just, that's the wrong junction. Well, that's the end of that. Or you miss the junction. You're like, well, we're on it now. And you can't go the other way. Yeah. So this is why I would say.

about junctions is do you think it's that junction? Get off. Get off with each other. Great. So I think if you, either you just completely miss it and you're like, oh well, there was nothing to be done. We missed it. But if you're like, wait, is it seven or eight? Is it seven or eight? Is it seven or eight? And it's like, ah, well, it was seven and we've fucked it. If it's in that situation, the junction will go off the road, up the hill, round the roundabout and then there will be an option to return to the motorway. So you might, always get off. If you're thinking, is it, if in doubt, get off with each other. Right. If in doubt, get off. Yes. Especially if you've been the map reader or whatever and you're in. Oh, what a stressful position to be in.

Oh my God. You should simply say, what if I put your... Just say no. Honestly, I'd be like, what if you put your phone up in your special pocket? And you have the thing that you like and you have that. And I'll have a backup and I'll keep watching on mine. But you should have your system because doing bad map reading for somebody, it's not even bad map reading. But like the kind of map reading that they don't like is just like.

Oh, it's bad. It's just like... You don't know how they like it. You don't know how they like it. You do. I think it's just be like, Matt Breed, do your own thing. Yeah, if you like...

You know what you like. But I know that other people... Some people, I've been in the car when someone's been like losing their mind about it. And it's just like, it's just not worth it. It's just not worth it. It's simply not worth it, which is why set off in good time, like plan, be like, find something a long route to look at, you know?

Oh, yeah, fun. And be like, oh, we're stopping at one of these weird, like, brown signs, you know? It's like crocodile world or something. Stop a crocodile world. Stop a crocodile world. Why not? Break up the journey. Yeah, that is good. When I was in the tour support for Nish on the road, famously,

firstly, he did such a great job of finding the best services in the country. Yeah, he knows the best services, isn't it? The man loves to eat, and he loves to eat like a Tudor King. But the worst thing is when you stop off at a services, you're like, oh, exciting. And it's like only a, I don't know. A McDonald's. You got to be getting that up on the map. Or it says Costa, or the worst is Starbucks.

And you go there, and it's a Starbucks machine in a petrol station. Nightmarish. Absolutely horrific. This is when you need to be making sure if you've got a passenger at this point, they need to be cross-referencing, cross-checking, making sure you go all the things. You want an M&S at minimum.

Oh, minimum Eminem-N-S. Minimum. Because then often you'll have also the Burger King. Sometimes there's Enando's. Sometimes there's Hernandez. There's one pizza restaurant on one of them. It's fantastic. So a little bit of planning ahead,

a little bit of where are the good services, have that. Then half the journey is thinking, oh, we're going to the good services. Yes, that is really good. crocodile world or wherever you're going. Lots of fun to break up the thing. Just think of it as like a lovely quest. Rather than like an

endurance, be like, this is the thing, this is the activity. And there's something quite like guilt-free and positive about the experience because you're like, well, this is what we're doing. We're in the car now. We're doing the big drive. What do you do hourly as in music? Well, you won't like my answer, which is total silence. That's fine. I think that's part of it, isn't it? I'm in

your car and you need silence to drive. Fine. You must respect the driver. I go to sleep. I go to sleep. It's perfect. We're a perfect genuinely a perfect companionship. You sleep in the back seat. I'm in the back. Like a baby and I wake you up and say,

we're a crocodile world. That couldn't be a better day. Right. Didn't know that was the perfect day I needed, but it is. But it is the perfect day. Right. But I mean like listeners in general

will be like, sorry, you're driving total silence. Right. And I know people, I don't really tell people that because I know people don't like it. But so people really like not like, I feel like a lot of time people,

you know go like oh I feel like I should control the music it's actually kind of fine to not So as in people if I just told them that If we weren't going in the car together But if I told them that And they would just hate that for themselves so much And they'd hate being in the car

With Silence They would hate to be the driver with silence That or they are so excited about their playlist Or their audio book whatever they're going to listen to People are very set in their way about what they like to listen to I just have to know that people get quite upset When I've said it Don't make the driver feel upset that it needs silence because perhaps it's got ADHD and that's kind of helpful to have some silence.

But if I had the car for it, I would let them do whatever they wanted. Oh, but you're driving. So surely that would, I think it's best that the driver gets to have silence. It's much better that you as a group are all entertained and doing your own thing. And you've crashed. We've crashed. Much better. No, better that you are just doing your own thing as a group without me and I'm just driving.

Just you're not listening to the music and I'm not really paying attention to it. Oh, fine. This is how it goes for me. Number one, this is dream. Me alone in the car. Yes. I've so much time. I'm so free and easy.

And so silent. So silent. Stopping at Crocodile World as and when. Yes. More than one Burger King en route. Perfect. Number two, down the scale, you're in the backseat. Oh.

Yeah. You're fast asleep. Yes. Then occasionally you wake up, tell me a good bit of gossip you've thought of. Great. And then we go to Crocodile World. I can go, oh, we're at Junction 7, all right. So get off at 7 and we'll just see.

And then I say, sure. But I like cross reference with my own map. Absolutely. And we get off. And then we get off. And then we get off. And then we go back on. And then we snark on.

On the round, around the round about snogging, and then back on, back on the motorway. Yes. In that scenario, I would not go to Burger King twice because those are, that's private. King twice. Oh, sorry, if you'd like to. Shame in that. That was, you, that's private. I wouldn't want to, I wouldn't.

What, impose two service stations? No, no, no, no, two service stations is fine, but I wouldn't do, I wouldn't say we're going to Burger King now. I would just be like whatever you want to do the, let's discuss and let's find, you know, we would group find. If it's Burger King twice, that implies that there are other places around. So you're just saying the services. And if you go to Burger King twice, if you decide to... I don't want you to see me eat my second Whopper of the day. I don't want you to see it.

I would love that. Because I'd be having a second thing, but it may be, you know, from Nando's or it may be from MNES. Let's call a spade a wopper. You know, like, it's the same thing. It's just in a different... Sure. It smells a sweet. Sure.

I've sort of mixed all. all of the Shakespearean references. I do. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. If I have a Nando's and a Burger King, why is that worse than having a Burger King twice? It's the same. Sure.

Sure. Absolutely sure. I'm just saying you must unpack the shame. And it's also something quite fun about double Burger King. I've doubled McDonald's and I've been the one that suggested it and I was in the passenger seat. Yeah. Listen.

And then we go to Crocodile World. Yes. And either way we arrive with plenty of time. Then number three, more than one person in the car. They're now doing their own thing. Yeah. You can't really control the environment. The vibe is now up to them.

Right. They're doing their own vibe. Own music, own snacks, own bits. Chatter you as you wish. Do your own thing. I'll listen in and occasionally to the gossip. You do the music. You do the thing.

I'm driving. Yeah. And that's my three. But everybody's will be so personal. Yeah. And so different. And it's about being whatever your thing is. And if I'm thinking about drivers now for the people who are freaked out by the silence,

now is the time to be like, I would love to listen to that audio book that I haven't listened two for ages or that enormously long podcast. Big long solo drive for people who are like, I don't like to drive. And I'm not excited by the double burger king. What else is there for me? I'm so bored. I'm panicking.

This for then, I would say, like, could we listen to all these things that you've been, get out a little shout out being like, anyone got any really great audio book recommendations or fantastic podcasts or anything? I've got to drive all the way to Luton. I don't actually know where Luton is. I've got to drive all the way to Luton from Glasgow. Oh my gosh. That's long.

That's long. What you got for me, lads? And people are like, this, this, this and this. You know, so you've got a butt, you know, lots of things in there. And also, if you're doing a car journey and you're not, and you're scared about the actual driving for so long. As a driver, is it more scary to drive for a long time with, early on after lunch,

drive, with a passenger or on your own? Yeah, I would say drive by yourself. So you can't be in the car for a while, but then when I'm good and you can go and I can be like, see, I am good. It'll be okay with me, I think, as finding whatever our personal rhythm is. That's one we're really looking forward to,

knowing what I, what I want to need from a long car journey. So, and equally, like, everybody is so different. My mother drives with both windows down. In fact, all the windows down, basically. And you just have to respect that that's how she drives and she likes to have all everything down. Even if there are passengers in.

Oh, very much so. It's like... It's getting blown from side of the book. And my dad is always like, you're getting blown away back there. And I always say, yes, but I respect the driver. Yes. And because she's the driver. Yeah.

And whereas he really wanted an ally on the, like, we should close the windows. Yes. But it won't be happening. And then my dad likes what he's. He likes and everybody is so different. And whatever the combination of passenger to driver is, is like we're making whatever this particular group needs.

Desire and needs. You know? Yeah, my dad can't stand one window being open at the back because sometimes it makes that. The vibrations hit and it goes like, do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-and it suddenly feels like your surround and you can't stand that noise. Yes, I can't stand that.

I have to have the air, one of them open because sometimes the air pressure goes when you go down. See, lots of different strokes for different folks. and whatever particular combination you have today, that's what this drive is, you know? And so I think everyone would be honest and open about their communication styles, because the worst thing for me would be if everyone got in the car with me

for Glasgow to Luton and then said, we've heard the podcast, we know you'd like silence. And I was like, this is not silence, you all sat in silence. Yeah, that's very stressful. That's not silent. Yeah, yeah. That's not an enjoyable calm experience for me.

That's you all being like, well, we had to do it for us. I'm like, you do your own, you do you. It's silence for you. You may be more silent or whatever people. because you're focusing. I'm zoned out of what you're all doing. Do your own thing, kids. You know, so it's like, communicate the starts, what do we want, when are we stopping,

what things are we getting on the way? What are people like? What do people need? What do people need? Also, I feel like, as a driver, maybe you can agree or disagree, never comment. Never comment on the driver's driving, unless I've crashed and even then be like, it wasn't your fault. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. Oh, never comment. Oh, but you say this, like, I've been in cars when people have been like a, it was like for a wedding. And it was somebody who was like a guy who, was a friend of one of the passengers and not a friend of the driver. And she was driving. And he made a comment like, all right, put your foot down.

Or like, whoa, okay, that was a bit. And it was like, oh, shut up. Oh, no one's. Also, you know, like, I don't drive, so I can't really tell people's, if people's bad or not. Because I don't really, if you're driving, I'm like, yes, very good. So suddenly seems to be in the car. Yeah, I'm in the car. And it's moving at the correct times.

But like, I just can't imagine ever kind of commenting. But people do. And if you are a driver, you kind of want to show that. like maybe some people want to show that they're also drivers and they've got thoughts. Like, I don't know. I think blanket rule, don't be a shit. Don't do that. Is that right?

I'll write that down. Don't be a shit. Obviously don't. Even when you have learned to drive and you do think the driving is bad. Or you've got like a tip. They're like, oh, I've learnt this tip actually that you're just like, not for now. What's the tip? I don't know.

I'm just saying like, say you did and you're like, oh, if you, if you jimmy that sideways, she'll get more of a kick. driving a car in like 1910 or something just like cranking a wheel at the front to get it to go Jimmy her sideways boys like yeah yeah that's the thing I don't think there are any necessarily

and just going forward into the massive autumn I don't necessarily there'll be any tips like in the car it's like these are the instructions it either does or doesn't drive you're either driving or you're not you're either driving or you're not And so you might say like...

So a thing that you might think in the car is... Getting that lane now. Getting that lane now. That's what people say, didn't they? Yes. But again, it's like, shut the fuck up. Yes. People being whatever lane they wish.

Of course. So shut up... And everybody's lane culture is different, as you will soon discover. And you just have to... Lane at Will. Lowe's lowest lane. Well, this is thing... Her will is obviously tied up with Superman.

So that's the way... Oh, I thought you were saying lowest lane, like the slowest lane. And you were calling it lowest lane. No, I was just saying the word... Lowest Lane. Lois Lane. Lois Lane, and then I was like,

that's actually a bad one because she's always over Superman. You're driving instructor too. There's so much jargon isn't there? To learn all these.

Lowest Lane. Slowest Lane. Mottie. Just drive. Trying to come up with like little mnemonics. That's not even a mnemonic.

Yeah. Superman. Super fast. Fastest lane. Lois Lane. Daily planet. Turning off. Calvin Klein.

Calvin Klein. Calvin Klein. Calvin Klein. I was to say Calvin Klein. Calvin Klein. That's fine. I'd be like, that's not even Superman's name. That's the middle lane is Calvin Klein.

Oh, God. I can't wait until I know all the stuff that I'm not stressed that I can come up with those things. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. So that everybody has their own thing on the motorway about what lane they should be in. And then there obviously are people who are like, well, there wasn't people's lane at will. It is correct or it's not correct. But people do just do their own thing.

Yeah. And it's your time to shut the fuck up. Yes. The passenger. Yeah. And to maybe defend the, the driver if like another driver's a dick because you know like sometimes you're in the car and like i was with claudia our friend and like there was a guy who was just like really close to her back

bumper and so it was like yes this is time to to to be like yeah what a dick and i think i like gave him the finger or something again not really helpful because that could have like actually sparked instant but like you know fun to kind of like be on the driver's side at all at all costs always on the driver's side i think that you might think we'll say is that you're not in the right gear so you might want to like and that the thing people might under their breath be like you You want to go to third, like that, under their breath. Oh, I hate that. I don't even know what it is, but I hate it.

That's Jimmy, you're up. Jimmy the old sticks up. Jimmy the old sticks up. That will get a bit more power up the girl. Is that what that is? So, again, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Unless the car is like vibrating because we haven't moved the gears up enough.

And maybe that's how the driver likes it. And maybe, you know, the car will, yeah, you know what? That's what the driver likes. Maybe if the driver says, oh, what's happened? What, has anyone got any thoughts of it? what's happened, then you can give the feedback. You know it might be? You're in first gear on the motorway. Yeah, you might be that.

Backwards. Maybe you should, yeah. The other, do you know what it is? The hand breaks on. Yes. But unless they ask. Silence. Silence. Or whatever. Yeah, okay, great.

Okay, I feel like this is, I'm ready to go on a big road. I'm not. I've learned to drive and then I'm ready to go. But I think as a passion, you'd be ready to be like, okay, you ask the driver, what kind of thing they want? You're asking, you're communicating, you're talking through everyone's wants and needs. Yes. And you're doing it as a group, whatever this group is today, whatever this journey is.

To Crocodile World. To crocodile world. I love it. Great. Well, look, come on a car journey with us. And also, I've not said this for ages, but if you've got any good suggestions for future podcast episodes, do emails at Nobody Panicpodcast.g.com.

We'd love to hear them. We're also starting to do something on the Patreon, patreon.com slash Nobody Panic, where the messages that you sent in that won't maybe make a full episode or we've already done it or it's very specific, we're going to do little postbag episodes where we solve your questions.

And some of them will probably be from 2017 because we've got a big backlog. I'm excited to dive into the bag. Now get in the car, Jimmy. Let's up the sticks to Crocodile World. Here we go. See you next week, everybody. Bye!