Nobody Panic - How to Go to University

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

Going to uni and no idea what to expect? Stevie lost her mind during second year so had to defer and Tessa turned up on the first day alone because her parents were on holiday – here’s what they learned. NB while the practicalities differ from uni to uni, the emotional business remains the same, which is what this ep is alllll about.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Ben Williams and edited by Clarissa Maycock for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. This is a special one. Yeah.

It's dedicated to two lovely gals who came to the Salisbury International Arts Festival. Instead of revising, they were both called Natalie. Hello, Natalie. Natalie Squared. They came up afterwards, said they've bought our book, but they hadn't brought it with them. Instead, they'd brought their English textbook for their A-level exam, which I think was the next day. Yeah. And said, could you sign this instead?

the textbook which the exam was on was untouched. It was. Yeah. The spine was not broken. The spine was unbroken. That thing was the cleanest thing I'd ever seen. They were supposed to have been studying that for the last year. Fantastic.

Good luck to them I say. And they said, please would you do how to go to university? We are in our final year and we're going to university in the autumn. And here we are. Here we are. Because we've both been. We've both been. So we've got.

And a bunch of you are going. It's now September. which means it's a-coming. It's uni time, unless you're going to one of the Oxbridge ones. And I think that starts in like October or something, doesn't it? Later, it's boring. No, but of course. They start in the autumn, all roundabout now.

Yes, they do. It's been obviously very long, incredibly long time, seven decades since we went to university, so certain things have changed. But having been to a couple of, like, nobody panics in, like, in, like, university towns and having, like, spoken to students and stuff, like, no, it is sort of vaguely the same. The general thing is the same.

The general vibe is the same, isn't it? Yeah, we thought we'd give you our hot tips, because obviously both of us completely ace university. Smashed it. I, of course, re-did a year because I'm so bad at it. It just takes you such a long time to work it out, doesn't it? By which time it's like, it's too late. Yeah, yeah.

So also that would probably be the theme running through it is that it's almost like when we were doing that episode about how to do the Edinburgh Fringe properly back in August. and one of the things we kept saying was like you can't do it all and you're not you have to submit the advice you're not going to have to get everything right and you're not going to look back and go oh we should have done more of that or like you know what did I do with my days there

or like I wasted so much time or whatever or I did too much or you know you're not going to be able to do uni perfectly because it's not possible and you will look back and go oh yeah if I wouldn't now I would have done this and that's fine and that's absolutely fine That's what life is. Yeah, that's exactly.

That's what life is. And yeah, you're going to have a fantastic time, truly. Wherever you go, wherever you end up doing. Or not. Like, you might hate it. That's fine. In which case, leave. Yeah, you can always leave.

But, I mean, like, I went for four years instead of three. The first two hated it. Second one was fine. Last one, loved it. So, like, it's going to be a real ride. The point is, you're going to have a fantastic time. I haven't specified when the fantastic time is going to start. But also, I do know people who hated the whole thing.

and that's totally fine as well. It's like school. Some people look back at school and go, God, I loved school. I look back and go, I hated every single minute of it. There might be elements of it that you like. You might just really not enjoy it,

but you might be doing a sort of degree that means you do need to complete it to get to where you want to go. In which case, there are ways to do university, even if you're not enjoying yourself, you can make your own experience. And you might look back and go, God, I hated that,

but it was so worth it for the life that I want to have. I wanted to be an engineer. So I had to do an engineering degree. There was no way around that or whatever. But what you just said there is also a great thing that no one really thinks about. You can, A, you can leave. B, you can redo the year like I did. And you can change course.

You can change courses. At any point, at any time, you can do loads of things. Nothing is sort of, if this ball starts rolling and you think, oh my God, this is a mistake, that ball can stop rolling. So easily. And it will feel at the time, like, you're like, well, this ball just has to roll for the rest of my life. move that ball across before we get in.

It's all about balls. What's your adult thing this week? Oh, it's sort of, it's a hair-based one. Oh, yeah. I've had a pair of hair straightners for like, I don't know, 20 years, and I've never really used them because I've got very straight hair, but I just feel like I don't want to give them away.

Anyway, I sort of forgot about them. And I got my hair cut, got a fringe. Turns out you can do your fringe with air straitness, obviously. I didn't know that. And I've watched a YouTube video, and I've learned how to, like, do the front so it doesn't part.

And it looks like, you know, people use those round brushes and then they blow dry their fringe. Oh yeah. Good Lord. I just can't figure out how to do that. With the hair strainers, you just go out and it's fine, done. So it takes, I'd say, door to door, two minutes to do it. And I don't know why I basically never get a fringe because I'm like, oh, I have to style it.

It's not. You don't have to, well, you do, but, like, it's very easy to do. And that's my, like, real adult thing of the week. Oh, I want to be able to use hair strainer so badly. You can. I don't know what you use them for now. Curling. oh yeah yeah i can't be bothered doing that because that is that is annoying that's too far from

i just i can't ever get it right and i only ever start attempt it when i'm about to go out the door yes yes and then i'm always like this is a fucking disaster and i do one little curl and i'm like forget it yeah and it's all crooked and it's all i've just made a triangular zigzag basically yeah with one like crispy hot end and i'm like right well evening that's that i'm like christy hot end i'm out of the door but i suppose if i had an afternoon free and i was And now I will work on a signature look that I can do. Plus, it's fine not to be something, because I also... My signature look is having wet hair.

I don't want about that to be that lady no more. No, of course. So that's what I... It's quite a step to go from just arriving with wet hair to spending the afternoon curling your hair. But if I do one afternoon and I work it out... Then you'll be able to do it for life. Then for the rest of my life I can do it. I just feel like having spent a certain amount of time with you, that you're similar to me in a sense that like, yeah, I could...

do it if I really devote time to it. But I'm like further on in the hair journey than you, I think, because I've really accepted the fact that I will not waste my time doing that. But I can have nice hair without having to do that, you know? Like try to figure out how you can get your hair looking nice. Your hair, if you put your hair and slept in like two buns, like space buns, and then let it down, your hair would literally curl like a princesses because it goes very well.

Yeah, exquisitely for like eight minutes. Then it would drop out. Welcome to the world of fucking curling your hair. hair. So if that's what your hair does when it curls like that, it's not going to be any different if you straighten it. Well, how did the ladies do it? They have a specific type of hair, or they're fine, because also people who have naturally very wavy hair or they have naturally curly hair, their curls will stay. If you've got naturally straight hair like, we have, it doesn't. Oh, well. There's just a lot going on. Well, my adult thing, then, is I've made peace that my hair will

simply be this hair. There we go. It's adult thing in action. Ah? Yeah, there we go. I will segue it. seamlessly into a girl I met at university. Brilliant. Weirdly, my university, my parents had gone away in my first week of university. So you turned up alone? Yeah. Great. I know, right?

So my parents were like, oh, this will go on this. I don't know where they've gone to work, but they were like, at the beginning of the year, they were like, oh, well, it doesn't matter because Tessa's thing will start here. So we can take her, and then they were actually like, no, this is when it starts. This is when you drop your children off. and the maid wife was like, oh, uh-oh, but instead of not going off, they were just like, off you go on your own. Right.

So my mum drove me up a week early, left me with Kat, my housemate. Kat, famous of course, the detective forensic accountant, now works for the murder squad. Right. Once came home in the summer, I was wearing all her clothes, drunk in the garden. Yes. Having a series of pretend business calls with the Japanese. What was I doing? Nobody knows.

So my extremely sensible friend, Kat, we went to the same university, but I took a gap year and she didn't, and so she was a year above me. they left me with her and all her like second year pals. And then Kat and her boyfriend just took me in to my halls and like patted me on the head. And we're like, bye. Oh my God. Left me there. Right.

But anyway, I lived with... Tip one. Ask your parents to drop you off. Because that's very traumatic. Well, I guess they were like, well, she'd be fine. And I was fine. But I was like, okay. Yeah. Okay.

Anyway, so I lived with Kat and all her pals for one. I remember on our first day, we went out to a party. And there was a skirt with this most... beautiful hair I'd ever seen, curly, of course. And I was like, it's so exquisite. Like, how has she got this hair? And then every inch of her way, it takes her like two hours. And she never comes to anything on time because she's always doing her hair.

And their anxiety surrounding that would be just not worth it. Right? And I was like, oh, is she? Doesn't it just naturally do this? No. I don't know why I'm so thick about all those makeup things. It's a big lie. All, lots of.

And every single time I try something like fake tan. It's like, oh, but it rubs off immediately. It rubs off all my clothes. It's always patchy. And then you talk to someone who has amazing. make time. They go, yeah, it's always patchy. It's a nightmare. You're like, well, hang on, well, what are we all doing? What are we all doing? Let's do university. So,

every university is different, isn't it? Like, we went to a particularly slight strange one, which is like, they've set it up, so it's like like, like Oxford, but it isn't. And it's in like collegiate sort of situation, but then some... I will tell you it's Durham in case it's been the whole podcast being like, but which one is it? And turn to second guess us

from all our clues, is Durham. Yeah. And it's sort of like, Durham is like a city, it's in a very small, very small city spread out, but it's basically almost like a campus uni, but it isn't. But then you get like your Warwicks that are like fully campus and then you have to like travel to go somewhere else or you've got your Oxford and Cambridge's of course, which I imagine is just sort of everything's marble and then you're just in a library the whole time. Or you've got like your cool like leads unions where it's like you've got your halls. And that completely dictates

what your experience will be. For example, in Durham you live in your college the first year. You get your meals cooked. Three, three times a day you have effing cleaners. Like I lived better in my first year of Durham that I did, I think, for the rest of my entire life. And then what happens is second year, you have to rent and find accommodation within the city. And you lose your mind because you have not learnt how to cook for yourself. You've not learned any structure. I found second year unbearable. That's the year that I redid.

I failed everything and didn't get out of bed for seven weeks because I didn't understand. I just wanted to be back in the safe place with all of the nice meals. All your friends are right there on your corridor. You know everybody, everyone's yards away, you go to the canteen and you have your meals, three meals a day. And suddenly they just send you out to live alone. Right, but that's what a lot of people's university experiences immediately. So what I would say is when I then redid the year and was like, right, we're going back in. But I fucked up every element of that year.

And I felt very much like this would have been what my first year would have been like, basically. And I was sort of quite terrified by that because in a parallel universe, there's very few universities where you go in the first year, you get like cated for and like all that stuff. So I really sort of felt that hard and was like, because Gina went to uni at Leeds and immediately was living in halls, but it's not like a college and it's not catered. And I was like, the biggest thing that I can pass on to a university person who is starting out and is nervous is structure is so important if you don't want to completely lose your mind. And I don't mean like, join the rowing team so you get up at 6am every day and you've got to have your meals at the same time, and you've got to do.

I don't mean that necessarily, but have one thing that you always do. So I think the easiest one is meals for me, and I think that's a kind of a universal thing of like, if you know you always have lunch at this time and you always have dinner at this time, there's just a little bit of a tent pole up to drape the tent of your day across, rather than not having anything and your tents just on the floor and you're screaming, and then you're like, I've got to redo the year. Because then you can start planning other things around it. You can also be hung over.

You can also like go out that night. You can also have a day of lectures. You can not have a day of lectures. You can write your essays. You can go around to your friend's room and just sit there and play music all day. But you know when you haven't lunch. Yeah. It says it's a small thing.

But I forgot when I'm looking back at those years how hugely important the tiny things were. And that's why I became incredibly depressed in my second year because I didn't understand why I, a person who was at a university, studying, you know, Norse literature at one point couldn't figure out how to just look after myself. I think it's honestly, it's the meals, isn't it? Yeah. It's so much of us when I think about like,

and then I cried in this doorway, and then I did this and this thing, and then it was pouring with rain and I just collapsed under a table. It's like, and this is not in any way to put the fear of God up you about university, but I would say 99% of the time we were incredibly hungry.

It was just being like, what did you eat today? And because you were like fending for yourself, and because food physically, it was the only thing in your day that was like, here's this like transactional thing that's like, I don't have the money to feed myself. So I just won't. You know, you just had sleep for dinner and you're like, it feels. Or weird stuff.

I would often eat, I would always eat, but it'd be like, I'd look back and be like, hang on, I'd just like 500 grams of grapes. Like, why have done that? Why have I done that? But then on the other side of the, of the spectrum, the need that we went to, yeah, was like collegiate. And the college that I went to was a, I went through clearing everyone and I got put into a college that is like a Christian college.

So it was very, very like, everybody there was like a 35-year-old woman of the house. Not everybody. It was very, very rich. And when I arrived there... What's a 35-year-old woman of the house? Rather than, like, drinking and stuff. The hall I was in had, like, biscuit and tea parties at 3pm. And you'd go around and I was like, well, I guess this is like, you put like gin in the tea.

Or like, no, they've got their best china out, not joking. And you'd sit around. They put China into their... Yes. One of them flew in a helicopter. So anyway, and then I was sitting there being like, this is the most, I'm not middle age. But I'm not saying that's every university. What I'm saying is you've got like the full spectrum of thing that you've got to kind of try and aim in the middle. So you don't want to be, you've not cooked, you've not bought any food, you know, what's going on,

you've eaten 500 grams of grapes because they were reduced to Tesco and now you're wondering why your stomach hurts and you've had a waffle for dinner. But you also don't want to be, I'm going up a 6 a.m. I'm having a tea party because you've got your whole life to be a fully functioning adult who has their life together. This is sort of your last kind of go figuring it out. So if you are open-minded to the fact that you will fuck it up, that you will also have brilliant fun, that you'll be hung over in lectures, you'll be hung over and you'll miss a lecture. But like you're doing all right if you're somewhere in the middle, you have good days, you have bad days, you have days away. where you get it right, where you get it wrong, then you are probably doing it right, I think is the best piece of advice I could possibly give, alongside things like, I remember my parents leaving

and sitting on my bed and being like, well, what the fuck do I do? Do I just go next door? It's not talking to that boy that is like next door to me. And then you realise that Freshers Week is set out for you. There is a timetable. There is something organised every day, every night, that you can go to,

and that everyone on your floor is also sat there going, what do I do now? And if you keep your door open as much as possible in that freshest week, people walk past, they'll pop their heads in. On the way to the loo, on the way back from the shower, on the way through a wander, it's amazing how much you'll find everyone else is looking around going, shall we chat, let's chat, because you're all like a group of ones. Number one, door open.

Door open. Physically and metaphorically. Yes. Doors open, gorgeous. Let's imagine you've got there. First day, you've just been dropped off and your parents are off. Goodbye. Or your friend, Cat, and her boyfriend.

Yes, sure. Goodbye. Honestly, I remember his name was Alex and he was so nice, but he just patted me on the head. Yeah, I sure did. And I just was like, left on my bed, being like, okay. Anyway, I opened my door and I wedged it open, knocked on the door opposite mine. Who would open it? But the boy who would go on to win, fittest fresher.

Of course. And I was like, and I immediately thought to myself, we're going to be absolutely all right. I was like, well, things have really taken a turn immediately. So he was lived in the room opposite me. I remember being, he had this unbelievable view and all this natural light, and he could see the river and the cathedral, and I could see a bush. And I remember being like, why did you get this amazing room? And it would have helped me so much because I'm such a little sunflower,

and I hate not having any natural light. I was there for a whole year. I wish I'd gone down to reception and been like, is there any chance that you have any other rooms on that side? Yeah. Because they definitely did. They made. Yeah, definitely. And they could have moved me into a different bit and be like, that would have made a real difference to me.

So I wish, if there's small things like that you're like, huh, okay, this is this is not good. And I can see that other people have got a much better version of this that seems to be just sheer chance. Yeah. Is there any chance I could have one of these and not live in a bush? A hundred percent of the duration. Mine was bins. So you're winning. Yeah, bins in a wall.

Yeah. And if you've watched the wonderful Jack Rook, friend of the podcast, came on to us last year, his amazing show, Big Boys has just come out on Channel 4 about going to university. and they're left in this sort of like horrible sort of abandoned science block. But actually it turns out there was two spaces in halls the entire year. You know, so it just like don't think people are going to go and do any more than they're necessary, their job title for you. So if you can just put your hand up and be like, oh, hello, please go I have this. The reception bit or like there'll be all of the stuff that you need, you'll get like a little pack in freshest week.

And all you'll have, there'll be like posters up on the inside of the door of your room with all like relevant numbers. It's almost like, you know, when you go to like a hotel for the first time, you're like, how do I do anything? Like, oh, there's obviously, people are not born with the knowledge of how to contact the central switchboard of Leeds University. No, of course not. You will obviously need to be told those things. And there are things like freshest fares. And obviously it's so cool to be like, yeah, don't go. You're like, yeah, go.

That's the lamest advice in the world. Who says don't go? People are like, oh, don't join up to all those societies because you'll never go to the things. You know, I know, I think I'm still a member of Durham Chocolate Society. Like, who cares? Just don't give it any money yet. Don't get any money at Freshness Week. But take all of the leafers.

Take all the stuff. And then if there's any communal things, that first week is so important just to get yourself out there, get yourself orientated of where you are, where the stuff is, who's on your floor, who's fun, who isn't? And like what's the good cafe nearby? And also things like when you get there, I remember my Nana gave me all these boxes of coffee and like a little coffee maker. And she was like, because that'll be nice because then you'll have.

have something to offer people in your room. All that stuff is so great. Have something. It's like your thing with the box of beer and crisps. Do you know where I get it from? Tom Hooper, never listened to a scrap of this podcast. Fine. Hello, Tom.

My really good friend at university, under his bed in Freshers, huge plastic crates of J2O. His dad worked for J2O and used to ship in. Amazing. So any time you went there, he was just like, Oh, what's his face from the Playboy Mansion? Hugh Hefner.

Yes. Hugh Hefner, just handing out J2O. rank and centre. But it was such a funny thing to be like, here's a man with a bed full of J2O. And also it's a conversation staff, so it's like, why'd you have that amount of J2O? Listen, the man was absolutely cleaning up in the ladies department, because people were coming back to see the J2O.

Yeah, because it's a reason to talk. And you're here now, you might as well pop in the bed. Use J2O to seduce women. And then a lovely refreshing drink afterwards. It is so nice to have something. So if you have a personal thing in your life that, I mean, I doubt your dad does work for J2O, but if you have something that you're like, I've got this. or this is my like thing to give to people or whatever, like, what can you offer?

And, yeah, the freshest thing, like, a hundred percent go. Don't listen to anybody who's got it in their head about, like, what is and is not cool. Of course, go to the freshest fair. You've got to, like, see the lay of the land. What's available? But Steve is completely right. Do not sign up to anything with your money. Yes.

Like, just say, oh, I'll come along to the first day or I'll try this out or, you know, X, Y and Z. And if you get to your halls and you're like, but what if I don't like my corridor people? Well, you're in luck because you're doing a. course and there'll be people in your lectures, in your tutorials and your seminars that you can hang out with. There has never been a more perfect time to, you know, like when we do those episodes and it's like, try and start a hobby, try and start join a group. I wish life was laid out like uni where I was like, oh, I can just go to that room at that point and there'll be other people who like what I like. Just go. Always do try, because I didn't for the first two years. I didn't join any groups. I didn't, I did

sport for like a bit, but I wasn't good enough and then felt sad. So then I never joined anything. What sport did you do? Netball. to play it at school and then when I got to Durham of course it was like oh right no these people are the best in the country let's just sidebar very very quickly into the sport thing that if at school you were like I'm a fantastic goal attack this is my thing you get to university and maybe there's a college team and maybe there's a university team or maybe it's just the university team and suddenly you're like holy mother of god you may not be the best goal attack and that's okay these are like gb try out these are like people with like they've got like an union jack embroidered on their

on their shirts yeah like okay and they're all like 18 foot tall and they're look out every day. Yeah. Yeah. So just be ready to like, and maybe that's your dream, in which case, maybe you step up and mark an amazing goal attack.

And that's fine, but just be ready. Have it in your mind have been like, okay, I remember them saying, be ready to meet all the GB players. With everything as well,

the GB players in your course as well, like I was the best, I got the highest mark in English literature. And when I got to uni, I was like, oh, I'm quite average. And that's fine,

because I was educated differently to a lot of people who were there. If you're listening and you went, you went to a state school and you go to a, place it's covered in public school people, they will be better academically than you quite often because they know how to write an essay. They know the tricks that you're like, what? How did you do that? Not always, but quite often. And I think in general, just be away, the big fish, small fish,

big pond, big fish, small pond thing is real. But that doesn't mean that you're bad. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't continue and you should like, I played for the, for the sea team in St. John's isn't about four girls in the entire of St. John's College. But I wasn't happened to be the sea team and that put me off joining anything else so I didn't join anything else because I was like well what's the point because if I go to say for example I really liked films I was like if I go to like film club everyone's going to be like seeing all these films I'd never heard of and I'll be stupid again and then I waited until like second well my second second second year and because I did the university sketch group in my second year because I got drunk and a guy who's no longer a comedian

made me do it and had audition in front of nish Kumar and ed gamble and it was actually lovely but that was a real fluke and I was stressed and did didn't like it. And it was only my third, my technically third year that I was like, I'm going to look at the theatre sort of club. I met like pretty much all my friends that I have now are, I've got some from my college and I've got none from my course and they're all from the club I joined. And like if you don't join it in your first year, don't worry, you can join at any point. And it's, I really would recommend doing that because it's, it's not lame at uni to be a part part of a club. Not at all. That's what's so great, whereas like, it's my school,

it really was. And so it was wonderful to go to uni and go, oh my God, it was my first taste of being like, I could be what I want, and there's someone else like me here, even though I was very much in the minority, because I was like state school. Even me, at a very posh university,

I found people who were like me. A hundred percent. The big fish, small ponding, I went to, my village primary school had only 11 of us in the year. And because there were so few of us, you know, we were the sports team, we were the netball team,

Our sports day was egg and spoon, and we went to Federation Sports Day with the surrounding villages. And I was an athlete. Of course. Truly, an athlete prepares. Went to my secondary school, which was definitely not the fanciest of the area. So we were always told we were the, you know, poor mouses, poor mouses. You know, but was nonetheless a private school. Yeah, I was going to say, well, it was just the poor mouses of the extremely elite private schools.

And I then, having been like, well, I'm the best goal attack in the country, was then on the E team. I was like, how can it be, how can it go to E? Yeah. So I had my big fish, small pond thing in year seven, which was a huge kick in the teeth. But I did watch other people not have to go through that until they went off to university. And that'd be so late in the game for them to have to go through it. Some of you were thinking like, oh, I've had it. I'm already aware of where my skill set lies.

Some of you are like, but I'm the greatest athlete this country's ever known. Or I'm the smartest. I'm this, whatever. Be ready for it. You are going to meet people that outstrip you in ways you cannot imagine. And the more that you can be like, and see that as like, okay, cool, fun. I still want to be part of it. Yeah.

And be ready for it and not let that totally knock your socks off. Well, what's very positive about it is it. That's what the world is like. The world is like that. The world is like the next stage is going out and being like, oh, my competition is nine billion people who all want to do the same thing. Yeah. Imagine being the best rower at your university and being the biggest shit in the pond.

Biggest shit in the toilet. Leaving, leaving the shit in the toilet. And then off you go, you join the, you know, now. international Olympics and then you're like, oh my God, I'm nothing. I'm absolutely nothing. It's going to happen to you for the rest of your life unless you're literally Usain Bolt. And that, you know, you... That's too much pressure for anyone, I'd say.

He seems like he's having a nice time, but there must be a lot of pressure. Yeah. So that is the positive thing. And I wish I'd realize that as well, yeah, that all the things about you need that were hard. It's like, no, this is meant to be hard because it is actually preparing you for then going into an even bigger pool of people. And also as well, like, let's be honest, this podcast, we were started

when we were 27, both of us, or 26 maybe, and it was all about all the things that you're expected to do at university, but in life. Things like meal planning and like feeling like you're on top of stuff. And so of course you're not going to be on top of this stuff. And of course you're going to struggle with stuff like Big Fish, Small Pond syndrome, or imposter syndrome, or being sat in a seminar being like, I actually know what anyone's talking about. And if anyone asks me a question, I'm going to explode. All of that stuff is literally what life is. And, you know, obviously we could say things like make sure you bring a towel with you and all of it but all of these things are like kind of such like you can go and look stuff up on google of like things to bring to university

and all of that stuff will be different depending on what your university is and all universities are as well different they have their like pluses their minuses some some universities aren't great with like don't have like a particularly good like student union like ours didn't really and then like some's it's all about the student union or like so giving specific tips can be hard but in terms of emotional stuff, which is that kind of the big stuff, you just have to aim for the middle. And you also just have to realize that each year you go back, you can improve on the year before. So you've got three years. First year is just to be like, holy shit, what is this?

To really get your bearings. The second year is the hard year, I think, even if you are or are not being turfed out and having to learn things for the first time. Because it is, the novelties worn off about uni. Often the exam still don't count or they count quite a small percentage. so there's not a huge impetus to go crazy academically. That was maybe just saying English lit. I don't know. But still, I think the main thing is that the novelties worn off and often.

Well, I felt like I was like, well, surely I should have learned how to do this by now. And I still haven't. It's like, well, yeah, but then 10 years later, you also still haven't. And then third year is it's like, oh my God, it's all about, it's the last time. But each time you have a go, each term, in fact, you have a go to make it better. And look at, each time you finish your term, look back and go. like, okay, what were the bits that are like I really, I struggled with? Because you can get on top of it.

You know, it's basically, the university is just learning. You're learning how to be a person more than you are learning, like, you know, how to be good at history, you know, or like how to write a good essay. Because you're never going to have to write an essay again, but you're all going to have to continually do these life skills over and over again until you essentially die. So, but thankfully, you've got all your 20s sort it out as well. But it's just like, this is your real first go at, like, like, Like, what's it like being a grown-up?

What's the world like? What are my strengths and weaknesses in this world? We've come this right into the episode. We've not even touched on your academic life, and we simply won't. If you fail, like, you can do it again. Yeah, absolutely. You can go around again as many times as you would like. It's quite expensive, I suppose.

So that's anything. Sure, sure, sure, yeah, yeah. But anyway, it's, you know, just don't let it become. But, you know, we haven't even mentioned it because we aren't interested. Well, also as well, we can't because if you go to do an English literature degree or an anthropology degree, that's completely different to if you are going to be a lawyer or a scientist. But you know what I mean about being like, you'll be like, oh, okay, and how do we do it? And what's an essay and what's a formative?

And then you'll work it out and you'll be like, okay, I get it. Whereas the life stuff, they're like, oh, okay, who are my friends? What am I actually interested in? What are my passions? How do I feed myself? That's the stuff that never goes away and that is so hard to work out. The friendship thing, I think, because everyone's always like, university's best years of your life. And definitely, and anybody who says fresh as week is the best week of your life, my God.

Like, no, how can it be? It's fine at best. Yeah, like, yeah, they'll be fun. And then a comedy hypnotist will come. Fine, a bit of fun, sure. And then we'll all go to this club. Yeah. But you don't know these people.

Like, of course, it's not going to be the best week. Yeah. How could it possibly be? I was not really friends with, very close friends with anyone on my corridor. And that was fine. That didn't feel awkward or strange. Like, because I had another group of friends. who were from another part of the uni,

so I'd just go and hang out with them. And we'd all kind of like travel and go to each other's plate. So you find your little, you find your group, and that group might change. But like, yeah, if you're after Freshers week being like, I've not found a group, they're somewhere else at the union. They're not there, yeah. It would be crazy if you did find them.

So go with an open mind. Don't decide what is and is not lame. Be ready for your people to totally change. And don't let it ever get to you of being like, oh my God, everyone else looks like they're getting it. And I'm not getting it. No one's getting it. At the end of our Freshest week,

week there was a party. It was called Hollywood theme and you had to go dressed up and the corridor below me went as the von Traps and they had got this fabric from the market. They'd got actual curtains and someone had made all these matching, like Leaderhausen and little

skirts and then they won and they went up on the stage and they were stood in high order. Oh my God. And I couldn't breathe. I was so jealous. Like I wanted to be part of this Von Trapp group so badly. And then one of them is one of my absolute best friends and many years later, I eventually could talk about the von Traps.

And he was like, oh my God, it was the shittest thing ever. This girl at the end made us do it. We weren't friends. Like, none of us speak to each other. It was like, don't let the illusion of the Von. Imagine me, weeping at some Von Traps. Looking at the Von Traps. Yeah.

Who in their heads are like, I can't believe I'm being a motherfucking Von Trapp. This is not what I wanted, you know? So just, yeah. Yes. Yeah. I mean, there's literally no way that we can tell you how to go to your specific university. But I think what we've said today, sort of works regardless of what you're going to.

And always do remember, like, yes, with like money and things like that, I know that university is and fees are ridiculous now. And people will be in situations where they either can't go or they have to drop out and all of those things. And if that is the case, from really the other, we're very much the other side of the university experience and very deep into life now, you'll be fine. whether you finish your degree, whether you fail your degree, whether you have to drop out,

you will find a way to do what it is you want to do. The university is there to help you. It's also often there to teach you about life, but you can do it. I mean, the great Benito didn't go to uni, you know, and look where he is now. There are so many people that I know that either didn't go to uni or did go and did something completely different. There's got nothing to do with what they ended up doing. Everyone will work it out eventually.

So just see it as, to see if what it is, don't over, romanticise it and just kind of like go with the flow and try to pitch yourself into like you're having good days you're having bad days but you're not going to get it perfect and that's all right because you can't get life perfect and it's a little microcosm of life isn't it that is so gorgeous may i follow up with one minute worth on money a hundred percent i worked all the way through my second as we both did but we i would say both of us would maybe have benefited from money wise working smart instead of working hard 100 percent on a friday morning i got up at the crack of dawn, I worked from 7 till 10 in a cafe and did the breakfast shift. At 1030,

I went to a sign language module for which I was not taking the exam. I was just so fascinated in sign language. Then I went to my courses all day. Then I didn't eat because I didn't, couldn't afford to eat. Then 9 o'clock till 1 o'clock in the morning, I worked in a pub called the Fighting Cox. Just quite a notorious pub. A notorious pub. But very much, and it was really fun, genuinely fun. Everyone was very nice. But it was. was a heaving disco, but for locals. But they obviously, it was not like a student bar. I wasn't making any friends.

You know, I had a nice time. But I was like, and then I would leave there at 2 o'clock in the morning and sometimes go and like try and join in with a party or whatever or meet people. But I was sober and had been working since 7 a.m. And everyone was wasted and having a good time. And I remember doing me like, what am I doing? Like this is an idiot. But also, that's a very good point about working at a bar.

There's a student bars that you can work at. You're with people. You'll make friends that. way, you'll also like get bar experience so that when you leave, you can work in a bar. It's so useful. It's like, do it at the student bar. Do it the student bar. Actually look at the jobs that are within the actual university itself because often the jobs will have like sales things like calling up alumni and asking for money or that that's sort of and the universities tend to pay quite like all right and like the hours are normal. My sister worked in Subway

all night and then would go to try to do her degree all day. And then we're like, don't do that. And then she started working at a cocktail bar. that finished at 4 a.m. She's like, well, that's better because Subway was still 7am. It's like, okay, no. This is psychotic. And so it's like, could you work in the holidays

and work weeks back to back, you know, get... I like W.H. Smith, for the whole holidays. And then when you get to university, you can commit to the university rather than be like, oh, I have to leave this thing that we're doing now because I've got to go work in Subway

for the entire night. Just think it through. Yes. The holidays are really good. Not just the hardest thing. You'll be great, Natalie Squared. And everyone else's going to have a lovely time. It'll be, it'll be, it'll be,

It'll be fun. There'll be fun bits. There'll be not fun bits. But overall, you'll look back and go, yeah, well, I did that, I didn't know. And that's all we can hope for. Thank you so much for listening. Do join our patron. It's patreon.com forward slash nobody panic. We've got some good bits there, some extra hot eps. Discount codes. And just a lovely way to show your support for the podcast if you would like to hang out with us. If we help you. Help us. Help us. Help us. Student loans, for God. Oh, my God. I'm still paying that off. Of course we are. It's really big. Nobody Panic Pod tweet us any suggestions for episodes? Please do. Nobody Panic Podcasts at Gmail.com. Come and see us live, tell them suggestions to our face. We'll write them on our hand.

And look, we'll do them. Great. And see you next week. See you next week.