Nobody Panic - How to Hang Out at the Park

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

AKA what to do/bring when a gang of pals are all meeting up al fresco. You might be wondering whether this is a legitimate topic for an episode but Stevie one turned up to a the park with an omelette so tip number one would be Don’t Do That.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome. What a beautiful day. Hey, Stevie, you know what we could do? No. Hang out in the park. Oh, I don't know. All right. We won't. No, we will. But I hope I've brought all the things and do it correctly.

Me too. There's not a correct way to do it. If you fail. But there's an incorrect way to do it. And I'll judge you if you do it wrong. This is born from, I mean, when you're listening to this, maybe it's raining and it's like in deep winter. But at the moment it's quite hot. And I've done a couple of like recent, you know, just, oh, impromptu let's hang out of the park park hangs park hangs pangs and I've been like well the first time and second time I didn't bring some toned lotion and like burnt all the back of my arms it's like

and also things like you know my phone died like there were lots of things going on I was like if I had just sort of known the very simple things to pack here in my little bag but also there's not there's not really a wrong way of doing it and you thought you know what I'd like to discuss this on the podcast

and I'd like to get the word out and I'd like people to know. I thought we've done episodes that seem more rudimentary than this. So why not? It's definitely a tricky one, isn't it? Because I live right beside the park and I see people every day plowing in there, confident as you like. And I think, oh man, are you getting it right? Are you doing it right? Yeah. It is sometimes you get there and you think, oh my God, why have I forgotten that? But when you're leaving your house, you think, I've got everything. I don't need anything. I don't need anything. And as soon as you get there, you think, I've forgotten everything. I'm nude. I'm nude. I've got clothes on. I brought not a scrap to eat. What was I thinking? I also bringing weird, like,

I brought once to a park thing, one of them weird omelets that are ready made in Tesco. No, you didn't. Yeah, because I was like, what do you mean? I've never even seen an omelet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they buy these sort of falafel and hummus and it's got like Spanish omelet. It's like, oh, so weird. You're joking. Yeah, because I'd gone and have been like, well, they said that they've got dip, so I'll just bring stuff to go with sort of, you know, hummus and dip. So I was like, obviously just get things around to the hummus. And then it was like, none of this is substantial. It's just like bits of carrot. Then I just turn it with an omelette.

Everyone was like, that's disgusting. And also really difficult to share, Terran share an omelet. So it's hard to share. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. So. Oh, my God. It was an all right thing to have brought to the picnic.

I ate the whole thing because I wanted to show the... Do you want to share this stringy egg with me? Yeah, potato egg. Potato onion string egg. I am ever so sorry. And from that egg situation, this episode was born. This episode. Tip one.

So none of you bring an omelette to the park. No. I say eggs are weird to bring, bring to the park. Even though hard-boiled, there are certain things, you know, like, Enid Blighton times when it was like potted meats and hard-boiled eggs. And you'd be like, well, that's clearly fine to eat at the park. If you turn up with some potted meats and some hard-boiled eggs at a picnic, people are like, what have you done?

Do people not like a hard-bored egg these days? I think it's more like, if you were doing an official picnic, fine. If someone's like, do you want to hang out in the park and you're like, yeah, I've got some rosé and I brought some eggs. Like that's weird In tinfoil as well And then you're like

Let's all peel our eggs Like I don't know It's just seems like a vibe Basically it's But also as we say on this podcast Many times And as we've just shown That we don't practice what we preach

Do what you like Unless it's an egg And then don't bring it Do what you like But there are some ways to do it What you like better Yeah Or just like

We'll freak people out less You know But that's on them It is true But it does smell like egg When you bring eggs Okay so let's just Park with the eggs

And that's no more eggs for you If you're thinking about taking an egg to a picnic, you've got to turn back round. You've got a 180. Throw in the bin. That's egg's gone. That's down. Tip number one. No egg. Not an egg in sight. Not a version of an egg. What if you're thinking, what about this sort of egg? Softballed egg. Raw egg. No. Have you heard about long egg?

What's long egg? I don't want to know. What's long egg? Do you want to know or do you not? I hate it so much. What's long egg? There's a little machine that I saw on TikTok and people put eggs in it and it comes out. It looks like a, you know, like old-fashioned ice lollies. the long, mini milks. Mini milks. Mini milks.

Like that, but it's cooked egg. And then you eat it like a, like an ice lolloy. What's on a stick? Yeah, it's on a stick. I fucking hate it. I hate it. Yeah. How do you want your egg?

Scramble or long? No, thank you. Don't bring a long egg. Have you ever seen a long furbie? I don't want to see that either. I'm going to turn it around and we're going to get it. It's when people make their furby really long. How do they do they do?

that? I don't know. What, so you don't buy them? People, yeah, I mean, you might be able to like, that one's a real, that one's a real, that one's a real, so the whole network of people on the internet just making their furbies long. Let me, yeah, and then taking, taking pictures of it, there he is. Oh, no. So, tip, number two, not even a long gag, tip number three, don't bring your long furby anywhere. Okay, so before we get into how to hang at the park with your long friends, um, you, your long egg, your long Furby, and we're off to the park. What more could you want from us? What is the most adult thing you've done this week?

Mine is, are quite chuffed with this one. My thing is, I've built a bed. That's amazing. From scratch? From scratch. From scratch. I was joking. I know, and I know we were all thinking, oh, that's coming down.

Did you get a bit of wood from somewhere? Yeah. So it's not even like a, oh my God, right. Why did you get the wood from? Travis Perkins. Oh my God. It's actually all, I built it entire. Well, I had needed to get one long bit from Travis Perkins.

A long bit? Long wood. Yeah, to get some long wood. Yeah, it's all right if wood is long because it's hard. I also meant to be long. It's meant to be long. That's long. That's already long.

An egg. Oh my God, what is a tree if not a long bush? I'm so sorry. Oh my God. You're absolutely right, Steve. What is it? That's the thing. A tree is long.

So when you see the wood that's long, that's fine. That's long. There are some, when you get to Travis Perkins, it's longer than you think in there. I didn't Travis Perkins is longer The wood is longer The wood is actually so long It's so big

It's like 8 metres long That's so long Then you have to get it cut to size Did they do it for you? Does Travis do it? Travis used to do it And now you just have to do it yourself And I was like me

So you just have to drag an 8 metre long bit of wood Through Travis Perkins to the bit And then it's like flop it up onto the thing And then they just give you a saw How did you take it home in your car? Because once I cut it to size It's only the size of the bed, remember?

I need to take eight metres home on the bus. Sorry, yeah. It's just if you put all the bits of a bed together, it probably would be eight metres, but when you could chop it all up, you've got the thing right. And you actually need one bit to be long. Oh, sorry, okay, important thing is... Two long bits.

Okay, in crucial element... What shapes your bed? Crucial element is. It was for the box room, and it's very, very small, and basically exactly the size of a bed. So only one side is exposed? Is that helping you?

No. I'm thinking a bed frame. You've got your two long sides, you've got your two short sides, and you need to make it like this. Right. So now that you've got your double bed into a room that's so narrow and small. Oh, God, so the walls of the room are holding the bed up? That's correct, yes.

But they're actually, and then, and then also, other aspect, it's incredibly high. It's not yet to go back to Travis Bergen's to get to make some stairs. Yeah, no, no, you can climb in, you can, but it's a bit of it, oof. Oop and we're in. Okay. It's because the pipes are like running, When we tried to move, it was spore him, but there's pipes. Okay.

There's pipes underneath. And the only way around it was, I'll put the bed on top of it all. So you're balancing the bed on, on the pipes. I'm not balancing anything. I swear on my life. Okay. Things are securely held. How can there not be a side? There are sides.

There are sides. Right, but you already had that. Yeah. You needed just one bit. So you haven't built the whole bed. I have built the whole thing. I have built the whole thing. And the other thing is from wood from Travis Perkins as well.

That's about it was actually. And then I did it all with springs. The slats. Not springs with the slats. Oh, that's a bit of wood. Brunches. Just branches. That's just branches laid out.

The slats I got from an old bed, so I already had those. Perfect. The wood for the ladies and everything, I had from scrap wood that the builders had left in the house. So I like repurposed everything. And some of it was too short, sure, so I had to glue some of it together. When the bed goes down, I'll report back. But so far, quite sturdy. How long have you had it?

Two days. Then anyone slept in it? You slept in? Yeah, extremely still. I got in and then I honestly just lay like arms crossed like a sarcophagus. Just being like, don't move, don't move. Yeah, of course, because of the cracking of twigs. I was doing so it would crack.

Honestly, everyone who's looked at it is like, I'm not getting on that. Because I can't. It's too tall. Okay, so you've made a tree house bed. I've made a treehouse bed. I'm really chuffed with it. Wonderful. Oh, man.

I'm absolutely a thrill with myself. Great. I'm wearing matching clothes. That's mine. You are, and everybody has been commenting today. So a lot of comments, I've made a real decision that I don't want to decide what matches what anymore. So most of them won't... I'll tell you what matches black.

Black. I'm wearing a black linen... Linen... Coordinated out for just the same trousers, same shorts, same top. Linen shorts, linen shirt. Yeah. A number of people have given us a little double glance on the street. Ours, do mean me?

Well, yeah, but I'm just following behind you. Who's that woman in dressed, head-toe in black linen? She's like a bat. No, they think who's that celebrity? Right, okay, so if you want to look like a celebrity, you've got to match all your clothing. And what's great about it is you have to wear patterns. It's just to pick a colour. Got it from an place called ArcNet, which is quite pricey.

Then I found out it is made by the same people that make H&M. So I was like, I don't go for fast fashion. However, I'll buy seven of these, not all black, all in different colors, all sort of slight variations. and that's what I'll be wearing because then everyone goes, you look great and you're like,

I just put the same color clothes on. People have been really complimenting you. Thousands of people. So that's mine. I've such a match matching my clothes. Hey, you look so good. Do you know where we should go? The park!

Show some people how good you look. Great. Number one, don't wear white to the park. Great one. Can't. And you think every time, not that I ever wear white,

but it's one time when I wore a pair of white jeans and then I had to throw them away immediately because it's sat down and it's just like, it's just green, there's grass stains, so you go,

I won't because obviously you only get grass stains if you're like, you know, I'm not going to rub my butt all over the park. No, you just have to sit down. I've got that dress. I'm going to say it's called toil de joil, but that's not right, is it? Twil. Twil de jure. I don't know. I have no idea.

Imagine that blue plate, blue and white plate your grandma's got. Yeah. That, put that in a dress. Yeah. Toil de joy. Yeah, I've got it. I've seen it. Yeah.

That. I wore that to the park. I was like, oh my God. It's white and blue. I looked like a princess. You did. And then I was like, I can't sit down. I had to roll it like up and put my bare butt on the ground.

Oh Lord, yeah, that's hard going. Skirt around, you know, I was like, this can't, I was ruined. Yeah. So you've put your furbee back in the cupboard where it belongs. Yeah, eggs are staying at home. That eggs, no, thank you. No, thank you. You've put your darks on.

It doesn't have to be black, but just dark, just dark, dark colour. Darks, because you're going to be sitting down, you'd be rolling. Who could say what might happen? You could be rolling. Rolling at any moment. Rolling down a hill. And, you know, we should cling to our youth in that sense and just roll down hills, like all of the youth do.

I think also one of the big things about going to the park is panicking that you're not prepared. So if you're not prepared, you just got to go with it and be like, I've not got anything. Fine, which I have like a nice time. But the thing is, is when someone goes, do you want to meet at the park? And then you're like, yeah, shall I bring? And then suddenly you're like, is everyone going to bring? What do I bring, essentially?

Very panicking. So if there are people already there, you just say, great, what do you need? They will say, ice, a corkscrew, a glass. A fork. A fork, some hummus. One radish. Once they're there, they'll be very clear about what they have, they themselves have forgotten. If they're also journeying and you say, what shall I bring?

They'll be like, a dip? Because no one can think. No one's thinking clearly. Even if they've only brought dips as well. You're not thinking clearly until you're in the park. If, for example, you're like, okay, yeah, God, I've got this picnic coming up. Maybe you've got something, a park hang coming up. Maybe it's already in the diary.

See, that's bad because then that is you've got too much time to apply. Am I making hummus? Yeah, exactly. Right. This is what you're going to do. If you've got a panicky park hang in the diary. Panicay Park hang, yeah. I want you to go right now to the park.

Any park will do. Sit down. What do you need? More people? Number one, yeah, some friends. Number two. Some cream. No, no, as in like, when you're there, be like, okay, what would I quite like?

Oh, rosé. Yeah, you think, okay, I need a rosé. And then you think, okay, I've imagined my rosé, what do I need? Corkscrew, glass. Otherwise, you just, I've got this bottle. Now what are we doing? I've got cans of rosé. Perfect.

Now we're thinking. Now we're thinking. Now we're talking. So I actually went to a park hang. I was like, I've got some rosé. They're like, how much I was like, I've got 24 cans of rosé. They're like obviously not. So I bought this.

I brought a little box. I was like, oh, this has got all the cans in it. When I arrived, it was a box of wine. There was like four bottles of rosé. And no one had any glasses. So I'm going to go and get glasses. There's a bit of, you've got to check what you're getting. But also, even though it's a bit annoying, we use it as of a drinks fountain.

Gorgeous. Or upwards or into your mouth. And sort of holding it and just like dang, you know, like a little tap on the end. funnel or like an actual water fountain. Like a keg thing, yes. A keg. I suppose if I had to put it upside down and really squirted it on,

maybe it would have been a bad drink. Yeah, that'd be a lot of wasted, wasn't there? Yeah. But whatever happens, if you get it wrong, you can sort of busk it through. Listen, necessity is the mother of invention. Bring a ball. What does that mean? Bring a tennis ball because at some point someone's going to go like, should we have?

Just pause yourself. I'm just saying also bring a ball. Yeah, but bring a ball. Bring the tips up high and bring your ball. Bring your ball. If we could just circle back to the necessities of the adventure. Look at you guys, you're styling it out. You've only got this.

Not to worry, we're working it out. You know, oh, we haven't got a corkscrew. Oh, look, those good looking lads over there. They don't have one either, but we could go and ask. Now we're hanging out with them. You know, not to panic yourself through. They're like, oh, we didn't bring this thing. But lovely.

Cans. Oh, my God. The world's our oyster. Also, like, one little thing of hummus, not enough. Even if it's two people, not enough. Don't go like, oh. I've got some hummus and it's sort of bit open, but not really. And don't check.

Absolutely classic. And then you arrive and you go like, I've brought the hummus and it's got off. Perfect. Great. Great. That's just an example off the top of my head there. I've done that. Be like, oh, perfect.

There's some hummus. Ideal. Get there. Be like, oh, fuck. Taste like acidy. Yeah. I've brought terrible shame here. Terrible shame here.

New hummus. Fresh hummus. Let's be opening that in the park. Cans of wine. Have we got a cool bag in the house? This is where I start to panic. So I brought the rosé box of wine. And on the way out, it was like, well, it's going to be warm.

And I was like, well, maybe there's a cool bag somewhere, but I was like running late and I was like, I'm just going to turn up with it. And what was nice was, is that I thought I'd turn off and everyone would go, well, the wine's warm, so I'm not drinking that. Everyone just goes like, yeah, we're in a park, it's fine. But if you can bring a callback, obviously you are, everyone will love you, but it's okay if you can't find it. Yeah.

It's the panicking about being like, but ice, but how would the ice stay? It'll become water. Like, there's a lot of that going on. And I was very stressful. Have you got any of those blue? They're blue, they're this long, they're hard. They're long, they're too long. How long are they?

This long, right? And they're blue. Yeah. And they're about this thick. Plastic? Plastic. Right. And they're in the freezer.

I don't know, maybe. What are they? I don't know. Yeah, ice pack. It turns out as ice pack. Right, Ben's telling us it's an ice pack. But it's hard. Right.

One of those. God. Could those go in the cool bag? Gosh, they can if I had one. Yeah, exactly. So I'm saying. I'm not going down buying one. Like, do you have a long, like a long, like a long, so I'm saying again now, we're panicking

up out our park hang that's coming up. I could just pop some in the freezer now. Pops them in the freezer now. I won't, but I like the idea of it. Okay. Oh my God. I'll tell you what you could pop in the freezer as well. Don't. No, I'm very excited. No, sorry, that was me excited about remembering what my adult thing was. I know, oh, right, Jesus, okay. Here it comes. Okay. The other day, I thought I'd make Pims. Oh, God, yeah. So, of course, you buy all this fruit. And you go soft. I think you're soft. I thought, what the hell is this? Soft fruit.

Oh, what else is this? Oh my God, I can't waste this. Chopped it up, small. Threw it into a Ziploc bag. Oh my gosh. Fuck off. No. Into the freezer.

No, that's Pinterest. Into the freezer, Stevie. You made your own frozen fruit. So that, in ready for next Pims. Ha! My fruit is already cold in the freezer and it's already pre-cut and I didn't waste anything from the first time. May I remind you of the most beautiful tip you've ever told me.

What is it? What was it? It started off good and then it, completely nose diet, but you said that once you didn't have any ice and there was like a gin and tonic and you popped some, and you had some like frozen like strawberries or blueberries and you just like popped the frozen blueberries and strawberries in there. And then you did say that you tried it with a pee. That was obviously a bad idea. So the second time was the frozen. Yeah. If you've got frozen berries of any kind in the house, they will be a perfect in a drink. They won't release their flavor for a little bit. So, you know, you don't have to particularly panic about. The tip is frozen grapes, but I think. They won't lose their flavour, but still don't like, you know, pop some meat in there or something. It's a statistic. So that's the thing, because I was like, I had read this tip about the grapes,

fresh from Martha Stewart.com, looked in my own freezer as if there was going to be some grapes in there. If you don't know there's grapes in there, there's not going to be. I honestly, I remember reading it and be like, some grapes in my freezer. Opened it. Of course there weren't. There was some peas. I thought, well, it will be a, I bet I've got a little bit of time before those. release the flavor. Completely undress everything the size of a pea there. I had no time.

Yeah, that's seconds. You're talking seconds. And I threw, I threw those peas in. It was in Coca-Cola the first time I tried it. Oh, man. Coca-Cola was some peas floating in it. That's fucking rag. What a mistake that was. See, I'm not somebody that has like, even though it sounds like, if you've got like a frozen strawberry, it's just because I went through a period of time a week about, oh my God, it's four years ago where I bought frozen fruit to make smoothies and then never did. And then we moved house

and the frozen fruits come with us. Like, I've not thrown away. You travelled that frozen fruit? I did because it's like a big bag of blueberries. I don't know what was going on in that bag. I didn't want to look. Nothing was coming out. I didn't look.

I might open it and it might just be one locked block of blueberry. Too long. That's, oh my God. This entire time I've made long blueberries. Awful business. Yeah. But anyway, but you might have some. in the back. Also, once I saw, I think it was my sister, maybe it was me, then like just the bits

of ice that's in your freezer drawer. It's like, yeah, if I could just quote that into a glass. That's hideous and you can't do it. We're all, both of us saying, we've all done it. Like, producer Ben is clutching his face. And he shook his head so much as though it's going to fall off. So not everyone's done it. Well, we too have done it. Yeah, sure. And that means that other people may have. I think other people have looked at that ice and gone, no. And thought, well, that's ice. that's what I've done you thought there's no ice but that's ice

if anything sometimes sometimes there's about there's too much ice and you have to like de-ice your freezer use that in your drink I say

don't don't do it it's not nice ice it's bad ice we've done it and it's a mistake it does taste weird and you also

spend the entire time being like that's been stuck on a draw however what you can do is should you be going to the park you could chip that off put that in a ziplock bag put that in your cool bag

so you don't drink it you use it but you use it's cool stuff down oh that's really good Good, yeah, but then what happens is I'll get drunk and be like, I'll probably just drink that. You only have it for a sip and then you'll be like, that was a mistake. It's very true, yeah, it's true.

You're not going to be mistakenly having all of that. Not going to be drinking the whole bag of ice. Your body will quickly say, that was an error. That's draw ice. That's draw ice, mate, again. That's furniture-based ice again. You've been here before. Furniture-based ice.

Terrible. Scoop it up, put a zip-knit back, take it. Now we're keeping things cool. It's a group endeavor. So while you should never, you should never rely on other people to bring all the good stuff. It's not what I sometimes feel is because I'm like, oh, well, there's too many things to bring.

And I sort of take the entire weight of the picnic on my shoulders and then turn it with like, go the other way. I'm just like, I'm just bringing this like old tub of hummus. Yeah, I think a crucial thing is for both of us, like you bringing your egg in the supermarket, is this like, what do people want? Yeah. It was really if we're like, what do I want?

Because I once showed up with like crates of this beer that we had made, we, either we'd got it for free. somewhere or I don't remember it was there was too much of it I hadn't bought it and it obviously like come from a party or an event that was ending and they were like it's been sponsored by this beer do you want this beer and I was like I don't drink beer but

people might yeah and so I brought then all this beer to the pub and people would be like beer beer like she's here spring break or whatever but everyone was like this is absolutely disgusting it's like strawberry flavoured Camden Hells or I don't know what a bad beer is but like if I personally

can't attest to the quality of it why am I bringing it in the hope that other people would like it. Absolutely. So it's a thing I love and even if you don't want any, I've, you know, so when I like make PIMs, for example, I know I love it and I know I'm good at making it. It's always a surefire hit because I'm not bringing the panic of like, would people like this? Yeah, you're drinking it. I'm drinking.

I'll happily make you one if you'd like. But when I bring things in this like, I brought the IPA, you know. Yeah, it's not your vibe. I've got 24 warm IPAs if you'd like. Absolutely. So bring the thing that you like, you know, you're good at it. There it is. You've got something to eat now rather than constantly.

and he's second-guessing everyone else, which is what adds to the panic, does it not? It does. That's such a good point, yes. Crisps, you can't have too many crisps. Fresh hummus, bring it. Bring tomatoes, carrots, bits. Cherry tomatoes.

You can't go along. On the vine. Let's treat ourselves with this fucking puglia. Gordia. No. Those olives that also have cut up bits of feta on them. Why not? Or manchega or whatever it is.

The cheese. The one with the cheese is. Bit of that. Lovely. A cucumber. And don't. Okay. And don't worry about, so obviously like things like always check, you know,

does anyone need glasses or what? But like if you say, what do we all need, then yeah, they'll tell you, yeah, no one brought any glasses, no one brought any forks. And then you kind of can fill in the gaps rather than panicking. Imagine this. Okay. You've got a cool bag at home. lives above the cupboard.

In my cool cupboard. In your cool cupboard or wherever lives there. Fine. In it, forks. Corkscrew. Yeah. So this is why I was frightened like doing this episode. Because like.

What about that? I love it. What about that? A, I'm all about that. B, neither is ever going to do that. And I think... What if we try? Yes, we can always try.

But like having... Because also the thing is, is that it's maybe about a month. We're broadcasting here from the United Kingdom. It's maybe about a month of hot weather. And so then the entire rest of the year, I'll just keep opening and being like, why have I got all them for them forks in that box for? Well, they're your separate picnic for?

My summer forks. Yeah, I know. But as a... My adult thing was... a match to my clothing, like the thought of also having summer cutlery. I think great and also do it, but I think we've also got to be aware that we should be able to go and hang at the park without being like, aha, my little picnic box I've had this entire time.

My summer cutlery. My summer force. Yeah, you're all right. We've got to be able to be like, it's actually okay to turn up to the park for a hang. You've got to make sure you've got your sun cream. You've got to make sure you're not wearing white and you're not wearing heels because it's pointless on the grass. You've bought some Christmas and hummus on the way there.

Yeah, you've got a bottle of wine or a bottle of wine or a bottle. bottle of, and also like screw top or a box, all these new canned wine things. I've got, I'm obsessed with this canned wine. It's called Nice. And it is nice. I'll say that for free. But like, it's just so easy to just grab some cans and head out.

I'm not sponsored by nice. I just really like them. But we will be sponsored by literally anyone. But if you're listening nice, it'd be nice if you'd sponsor us. But the, yeah, and also making sure that you've got water and making sure that, like, so I have this real panic all the time. I'm such panic of being like, but what if I'm in the park and I need the toilet? Like, a constant.

about it's like it's fine there's always public toilets in parks that always is and if not like there's a pub or a you know and if you get really nervous which I genuinely do before I go I just check where the nearest places if I do I'll be able to go and that's usually

enough that means I don't even need to go I just have paniquies when I feel like I can't we if that's the thing if I have it someone else will have it I know 100% people really have that yes I know because I don't you just whee into the grass That's right.

Yes, I've seen you do it. She's got a really good... She's got a really good... She can do it without a breaking eye contact and B, stopping talking. And you don't know she's doing it. And then afterwards she'll go, I just weed there. Like, it's genuinely fascinating. I don't do it in the group.

I will take myself away. You did do it when we were sat in the meadows in Edinburgh and we were talking. And you were like, I need to learn about an hour later. I was like, we should go back to the flight and go to that. Then you're like, I've been. I'm going It's one of my more depraved skills But I can

Evacuate yourself Yeah I wouldn't I mean just a wee I think about it Oh yeah sorry Just do shit in the middle of the group But I've never

I think about that Every time I go to the park But of course it's a real panic for people If you yourself are not someone I mean I've met people who I once was like We'll go behind that bush And it wasn't just like

I can't go behind the bush either Are we on my own leg I was thinking like This person who I escorted to do And they were totally secluded, truly good bushes I had found. It was like, I've never weed outside before. I was like, are you joking? They're like, never.

I'm like, you've got to let that go. You've got to start weir and outside. Come on. Also, my house overlooks the park. I can see from my top of my roof. Do you whee off the roof into the park? Pissed directly into the park. No, I can see this big tree and people come and they look left and they look right and then they

we and sometimes I stand on my roof and wave at them. They never see me. But like, that's the thing. People be ween all over the shoulder. People be ween. So why not you? Because it's so hard. There's a public toilet.

There will be pubs. Exactly what Stevie's saying. Like there's space. Please don't panic. And also one thing is always I think if you're going, if you're the person who's going for the hang, bring a little, if you've got like a throw or something or anything. And you can just bundle it into it. Like I've got bought one of those round blankets that look like a fajita wrap, you know? A tortilla.

A tortilla. Wait, sorry, does it physically look like a tortilla with like lettuce and things on it? No, it looks like, so when you wrap it around you, you become the filling. So I would be the lettuce in that scenario. But does it actually look like a, like, yeah, it's got all the texture. It's got the little dark patches of the tortillas. Like you've bought a wrap and then you're... Oh, that's so fun.

One criticism I have. Oh, please. It's not on both sides. So one side's not, one side's plain and the other side's got the wrap. Of course. No, but both sides should have the wrap. Not if you've wrapped a tortilla probably. Yeah, but when you get a tortilla,

it's not white on one side with a label saying made in Japan. Like you've got to have both sides, so then you really feel like your actual wrap. Sew them together. Or, but anyway, there was a good example of I was going to the park hang, and I was like doing my thing that I always do, which we talked about in previous episodes,

where I will just be like, well, if I can't do it at all, I'll just do nothing. And I'll turn up being like, I've got nothing and I'm not prepared and ha-ha. But actually, I was like, this fajita wrap blanket, which was fun on the day. It's just been like,

well, what do we do with that now? It's just sort of around. On the way, did you? No, no, it was bought for me. Sorry, I've not made it clear. It was brought to me the birthday present. It was a birthday present. And then it's just sat in my flat.

And I've occasionally just look at it and being like, well, that looks shit there. What are we doing with this fajita wrap? You know, you're going to put that? Under my ass. No, roll it up. Yeah. Guess what we're going to tuck that?

I don't know. In the cool bag. Okay. In the cool bag with our socks. It took that. It took that. Summerforks, no, but the wrap. Should you be going to the park, you're thinking, oh my God, I fucked down, I haven't got any of the right stuff. You're like, oh my God, what if I need to wait? We're going to stop in a pub on the way. We're we in, we're going to the bar, we're saying, can I have a plastic cup, a big pint plastic cup of ice, please?

And then we just arrive with that. Jesus Christ! Okay, this is great. You're right? You just be like, oh, look, here are some little things. I'm shaking. We're all in this together. People just be showing up with whatever we happen to have. Oh, my God, yeah. You know, and also, you're in the park. You're walkable to probably somewhere to get, more bits. Yeah.

Go get them. Just to circle back. Bring a ball. There we go. Bring the down. It's time. It's time to bring the ball. Bring the ball.

People want to see a ball. Because also what's nice is I think when you arrive and you go, I've brought a ball. Everyone's like, well, that was pressure. But if there's like a vibe and you're like, I've actually brought this ball. I've got a ball. Oh my God, the joy. Right. Playing rounders with like, I don't know, your water bottle and the ball is the most fun.

Yeah. But not many things can be a ball. And is that not right? Yeah, but it's not long enough. Not long enough. No, you're not. The last movie. The perfect thing.

The long egg. Right. Bring your frozen long egg. Oh my God. If this was an improv show and we were like, I haven't got anything long. And then someone was like, I've got this long egg.

Oh my God. The crowd would lose their mind. I mean, this was the perfect that is the long and winding road by Paul McCartney. The perfect structure is the long and winding egg. Oh my God. I even used the long and winder. I don't know.

I could see in your eyes that you'd transomperperth. send it beyond you. You wouldn't even hearing the word long coming out of your winding egg. Anything could be about your own hand, your big long hand. Otherwise it's your arm. Your hand and then you've got, of course, your long hand. Your foot, your long foot, your leg. Anyway.

Anything you could be about, if you have lots of plastic cups, be a pong, be a golf, throw things in, throw something. Just throw things into something else. Someone's mouth, someone's open hands, a hole. That's a game. Get that in that, you know? Get that in that. Get that in that.

Who's a frigate? Get that in that. Get that in that. And that's honestly all summer, British summer is. It really is. Yeah. And also, may I say, get that in that? Get that in that.

Yeah, oh my God, it is. So one thing not to do. The women's euros. Get that in that. Can I get that in that more times that person gets that in that? So many times. It doesn't even matter how well you did.

Just get that. Your objective is simply get that. Always. Get that in that. The, I wanted to say, can you, Can everyone not use speakers and just like blast music out? What an absolute lame way to end. But it's so rubbish!

Because also, what everyone, doing different music? I honest, genuinely, but I'm somebody who I'm aware is not as affected by sound as I know lots of people are. Well, in which case we have to defer to the sound. No, of course you don't. No, you don't. Because I still go to the park and have a nice time.

I'm completely 180. Fuck it. Take more. Take your long speakers, your long sound waves. But again, I'm really aware that, sometimes sound really bothers people. I'm like, oh, I wasn't aware. Whereas so many things do bother me.

Ambience, for example. Whereas like, Okay. If the ambience was wrong in a place, I would be like, we have to leave. Right. If this music was wrong, I'd be like, well. Fine. So I don't, Jamie don't mind it because I'm like, oh, all these people have,

summary, all these people having a good time. Okay, you know what, I'll take it back then. So, but I mean, don't play them aggressively loudly, but sometimes it's nice to have a little bit of a speaker or the radio. Get your speakers, pop your speakers in your glass, put your phone in your glass that's louder. There you go. Perfect.

I'm in, okay, fine. If you've got a portable speaker, you know where that could live in the house? In your egg. In your egg? No, I know. In your ball bag. In your gall bag. Okay, fine.

I think they're a bit of fun. I take it back. No, you don't have to. No, I've had to. Your point is extremely valid, which is not too loud, please. Oh, yes, okay. Don't be disturbing other and else with your choices. With your choices.

Okay. We don't know what you want. We don't know what you want. We don't know what you want you like. Yeah, okay. I'm ready to go to the park. Me too. I'm excited to go.

Great. Well, I'm going to actually, I'm not even joking, I'm going to sort out the cool bag thing. Because I think that is, I was like, no, no, no, no. And then the last minute, it was putting the fajita in the box. Because I can know that you're like, where are we going to keep that? It's all the thing, because that's the thing you probably do have all the bits in your house. Put them all in one bag. We're ready.

I'm ready. The go bag. Okay, make a go bag. And thanks so much, Tessie. You've really put a firework up my park experience. Brilliant. If you have suggestions, Nobody Panic Pod on Twitter or NobodyPanickpod at gmail.com. See you at the park.

Yeah, see you at the park. We're the ones in the middle. Big, long egg. Tess is pissing. You won't ever know, I'm doing it. Sorry, but you know that she is in her heart. In her heart, she's always pissing. Bye.