Nobody Panic - How to Have a Wet Lunch

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

Stevie recently went on a wet lunch (WL) and it changed her perspective on friendship, alcohol, time and space. Don’t know what a wet lunch is? Join in and get educated. A week after recording this Stevie Tessa and producer Naomi all enjoyed a communal wet lunch and agreed it was an excellent concept. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to the podcast. Yes. It's Nobody Panic with me, Tessa.

And me, Stevie. Here we are. At lunch. Oh, but is it dry or wet? It's wet as you like. This is not, I don't know. I basically was invited on a wet lunch. And I thought it was a really...

And they actively said this is a wet lunch. We're going to do a wet lunch. Okay. There's a lot of... Let's do a wet lunch. It's my friend, Adam. He's a director. he's very cool, and he has wet lunches.

And I've met him after one, and he sort of casually said it. And then I was like, can we, can we do one? He's like, absolutely. You'd be a great wet lunch companion. This is so exciting. It's not really something that we've talked about before. And it's also sort of similar, I imagine, to the ones where we go, like, how to go to the park. You're like, just go to the park.

How to have a wet lunch. Just drink at lunchtime. That's what a wet lunch is, by the way. And to be fair, Stevie did suggest it. And I said, you just do it. And then she said, oh, like that. Well, haven't we all at one point gone out to lunch? Someone's gone, oh, maybe I'll have a bologna.

And then the next thing, you're a y-mess. Peach boulogne? I love a peach boulogne. Yeah. How exciting. I've never heard the phrase wet lunch before. I don't think it is one. But Adam calls it that, does it?

When was this? Four days ago. Fantastic. I was flying. I have heard the phrase liquid lunch, but I think that's different. I think that means, like, I didn't have lunch properly. I just drank. Oh, okay.

As in you didn't eat, you drank alcohol. I think that's what a liquid lunch is. That's a bad wet lunch, yeah. No, you've got to line that. Or I've heard the phrase of that's on a moosey lunch. Yeah. But wet lunch is great. It's just more kind of direct and to the point, you know?

Okay, so before we go into it, what's the most, obviously my adult thing is I had a wet lunch, but what's your most adult thing that you've done this week? Our popular segment that we do every episode. You think a lot of newcomers will have found us, well of you, having searched wet lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, come on in everyone.

Newcombers, all come as, we're thrilled to have you. This lunch is for everybody. Let me just check my little list where I like to. Oh, yes, because of your adult thing from a while back, which was you organised all, she organised all of her phone notes into categories. And then I've started doing it, and it has absolutely changed my life. It's changed my life. When I was, I was a one-note girl.

Oh, my God. Yeah, one long, like, sort of performance poetry, essentially, is what it became. Oh, yeah, yeah. And also what I know now to do is not just write, like, you know. Eggs. Eggs. Like clarify what the eggs.

Yeah. What are the eggs for? Are you going to make some? You're going to buy some? Collect some from the chickens outside. Fabergete? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

Right. Longtime listeners will know that I don't drink hot drinks. You don't. You don't drink hot drinks. You have a hot water occasionally. Occasionally. And I feel like a... Well, I have a hot water.

I feel like a sort of an opera diva. You know, and I don't care for that. It doesn't taste nice. No, no, no. it doesn't take. I don't mind it. It's nice to have something a bit warming, but I don't like ordering it because it seems obnoxious. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's mainly that I don't, I don't mind the taste of it, but I don't have often because people are like, hot water. Oh, God, that's on them, isn't it? Yes. But it's not like, I mean, there's way more weird things you could have asked for.

I think it's just so profoundly bland and sad. Yeah, sure. That people are like, what's going on in your life? What's your own personal life like? I had that response when someone said, I was in a group and someone said, what's your favorite ice cream flavor? And I said vanilla, and everyone laughed at me. And I felt so sad. And I don't ever speak of ice cream in front of others. Oh, I am sorry. And that is the truth, is it?

I just love vanilla ice cream so much. That's wonderful, and they should never shame you for that. I am sorry. And water is not my favourite. What I would like is a peach bologna, or a pineapple wine, or any number of drinks. But that's not acceptable to order in the middle of the day. And the hot drink issue, I feel very embarrassed if I'm in a workplace scenario or anything where someone's like, they're like, Jeremy's doing a coffee around what do you want.

And I don't want anything. Or sometimes I want a hot chocolate, but I'm not Paddington Bear, you know? I can't be just, I can't be ordering that. Does he famously hot chocolate? No, but like it just seems like it's something a child would order. I see. A hot chocolate. Just so, you know, friend and friend of the podcast, Kyle Smith Bino, who came when he did

how to party, pretty much every single time I'm in a meeting with him or I'm working with him, he only drinks hot chocolate. when there's a coffee run. Does he? Yeah, everyone goes, flat white, oak, flat white, decaf, oat, black white, hot chocolate place.

No one says anything because everyone's like, he wants a hot chocolate. And also everyone secretly goes, well, if push comes to a shop, that's what I want. Sorry, I've hijacked this by like... No, no, no, that was really good.

I tell you what, a shame as an aspect, but more it was like, that feels like a lot of sugar, you know. There's that too. Afterwards, I'd be like... Oh, he's a mess, yeah,

no, sure. Yeah, after they'd be like, oh, god, grandma's buzzing over here. Yes, absolutely. I discovered something the other day I thought this drink was a coffee It's not What is it? A chai latte

Oh I am so angry that I haven't told you about a chai latte It's sweet milk It wasn't your fault It's not your cross to bear It's your drink I know And you sound all like fancy when you say it

Uh huh Oh my God I'm so happy for you I know It's amazing I'm gonna cry again Oh Can I get a chai latte with coconut milk Oh my god

That's you It's you in the coffee shop. Jonathan's doing a coffee run and that's fine. Oh my God, great. Isn't that wonderful? That's so great. Of course, a chylarte. I was in Dechum.

Oh, God, bless DeSum. What a place. It's a great place. If you go for breakfast, there's a sort of chai thing that can't. And I was like, this is fucking delicious. And somebody was like, in fact, it was a friend of the podcast, Jack Rook. It was like, you know, that's what? That's a chai latte.

And I was like, don't be an idiot. A latte's got coffee in it. Oh, just milk. It's just milk. Yeah. Anyway, so I've discovered chai latte and I feel a million dollars. Thank the Lord. What exceptional adult thing.

Thank you so much. And yours was, you had your first ever? Yeah, mine is, I had my first ever wet lunch. So when I was a student, there was probably more drinking in the day than there is in my life now because obviously that means something different now if I was sort of drinking quite quite frequently

after handing in essays, that's different to now when I'm working. But I carved out some time and went on a wet lunch. lunch with me and my friend and I've never felt more grown up in my whole life. Just the two of you? Yes. We hang out a lot, but we always hang out kind of after a show or I see him at a party or

something. And we've gone for dinner together and stuff. So he is a friend that like I will see one on one. So it's not like, it wasn't so intense. It was like, we're going to wet lunch and talk. But it was less about the wet lunch. And it was more about reclaiming the sense of drinking in the day so that it's not an out of control thing that's like, oh, you drank in the day, you know?

So I don't drink in the day. But I felt there was something exquisite about going to like a slightly upmarket fancy place, ordering, like, I think I had three glasses of wine throughout the whole WL. But like, really good wine, because since our wine episode, I now know the types of wine. I don't know two types of wine I like. That's all you need. I did push it too far and ask what the grape of something was. And then they answered I didn't know what they meant, but I just thought I might know.

I didn't. And also having like a lunch that you're not like, it doesn't have to be expensive, by the way. I'm not being like you have to go to a really fancy place. I'll talk about all the different elements that have to be in place in the moment. Because lunch for me, and I don't know if this is, I'm going to say to me now and everyone's like, no, that's just disordered eating. But lunch for me is the most functional meal of the day. So like breakfast is like, I've woken up like, what do I want? Lunch is like, I'm in the middle of something and what's the quickest thing. And it always makes me sad because I really like meals. And so, Often I don't know, I don't want to be too full because I've got work to do.

So I don't want to be in some sort of like coma by like 4pm. So I'm going to have like soup or a salad or sandwich about. Whereas the wet lunch is like, what do you want in your heart? Adam wanted breakfast food for lunch. So we had that. I wanted a burger and chips. So I had like this plant burger and chips. Like something that you don't normally have.

That also does nothing to do with like health or anything, just literally to do with like, so say you don't ever have soup. And you're like, you know what? I'm going to have a soup for a wet lunch. That's full wet lunch, you know. You're making it experience. You're making it something that is unforgettable. And grown up and mature and intentional is the word.

Because the moment you aren't intentional, then it becomes you're just, yeah, you're just two people drinking in the day and something quite studenty and immature about that. But you want to feel like you might be able to do a work call at any point, you know? But you're not going to. Okay. You pick your venue.

I picked a brasserie because I've never really been in one. What is a brasserie? So I only knew it was a brasserie because it was called, it had brasserie in the title of the place. We walked past it. Was it Brasserie Zadel? No. Okay.

But I have been in there not tweeting and thought, I've got, I must come back here because it's so fancy. But brasseries are great because they're quite like, they're not that expensive, a lot of them, but they feel quite expensive. They feel like somewhere,

someone called Howard would like, like take you out to lunch to talk through a creative idea with you and you'd be like thanks Howard for taking me out to this brasserie you know okay yeah right I'm so in you go in you're not going glass of wine if you're wine drinking you're going to glass of wine you're going carafe oh now we're talking yes and also as well like you're you're in it you're not drinking quickly you're talking Mediterranean European okay you're drinking the wine with the food this is not a time for pints of cider this is not a time this is why like a bottomless brunch and all of that is

that this is also where this comes from because I've spent so long being like, the idea of a bottomless brunch is so exciting. Went for one, lost my mind, obviously.

This constant prosceco, you've eaten breakfast, which is not like a very hearty meal anyway. So I was like, oh, I got this like oats thing and then was just completely hung over by 2pm. And I felt deeply like,

well, hang on, but I see people all the time kind of like having a little cheeky bottomless brunch. Why can't I do it? And it was because psychologically, I was going to say, this country, and it makes me sound like I've like traveled loads.

I've not left this country for about five years. But there's this element of like more is more and like it's bottomless. So like it's like bottomless anything. Those free for all buffets, you're going to end up being a salad, a curry, some stir fry and an egg on your plate, feeling slightly sick because it's all there. Whereas when you're having something that is just psychologically reframe it as like a wet lunch, for example, then it's an intentional act of you're enjoying and savoring. and you have to have a seat by the window

and you have to be able to look out at people going by so you're like your people watching. And also we're talking starters main desserts. This just sounds wonderful. Yeah. You're blocking out four hours. You're not doing anything in the evening. But actually Adam did go to a meeting

and I did go and pick something up from my friend's work. But I walked through the city and knew that I'd drank because I was like, just living in London town. just a girl making a way through London, the big city. And then at that point, I was like, okay, I've had some wine. That night, we just watched, like, shit TV and stuff. I didn't really have anything to do because what was great was I got home, you're quite hungry because it's dinner and you're like, well, I've drank a bit,

so you're kind of up for eating. So dinner was great. I think I had a sandwich. And then I kept having rounds of sandwiches for dinner because I was like, well, it's all that's rough, this is, you know, whatever. And I drank lots of water before I went to bed. Basically, that's the other thing. Wet lunch is not about, you know,

pour an alcohol down yourself like bottomless brunches. It's about like, you know, you're drinking water in between you wine. You're just enjoying everything rather than it's not a focus on the alcohol. It's a focus on the lunch and the wet. You're just lubricating the lunch. You know? And the conversation. Basically, I felt like I was a billionaire.

I went to a very low-level brasserie and just had some wine. I feel like I've been allowed a glimpse into the mind of Nora Ephron. I really, that was exquisite. We had one once. it was excellent. We went to the Ivy. When we went to the Ivy? Why did we go to the Ivy?

We were celebrating something. No, we weren't. We were just left unsupervised. Yeah, when we were in a sketch group, there was the third person couldn't make it. We were like, we'll do some work together. And then we went to the Ivy and went to lunch. And then do you remember what happened?

We met a tech pro. It was about 19. Oh, at best. Yeah. 17 perhaps. And he kept sort of popping in and speaking to us. And then I lied and said that I was a very important comedy writer. who wrote on, have I gotten news for you?

I've never written on our show, or pretty much any show. And then we went to the bathroom. No, he left and he told the guy to just pay for ours as well. And then kept messaging me on Instagram and then I ignored him. Yeah, that's the thing. It wasn't just a classy out. He did want to hang out afterwards. He did want to hang out afterwards.

Still, it was absolutely thrilling. It was absolutely thrilling. And that's the sort of thing that can happen at a wet lunch, you know. But it was a similar vibe because it wasn't like, we weren't like, let's go get drunk. We're like, let's go and have a fancy lunch. somewhere. This is so nice. And I think it's a part of that kind of, you know, we've done ages and ages and ago when it was

like a thing. We've done things like, how to self-care and gone like, oh, it's not about a scented candle and all that. That's too big. But that is, I think, this is sort of almost like an episode about how to just, how to add another element to self-care bow, I suppose, especially because I was about to go to Australia and I had gone from like Christmas to then being on a beach in like two weeks. And I was like, oh, all of my. body and signs and socialisation was telling me to basically like, not diet, but stop eating four cheeseboards a day and maybe do some yoga or something and not drink wine and kind of like basically have a bit of a detox before I go on holiday. But then I've heard myself and like booked

in this wet lunch to be like, now I'm going to ease my way into the year. I'm not going to do dry journey. I don't believe in for me personally that black and white thinking doesn't work. And I've said on the podcast a few weeks ago or a few months ago about how like I've stopped sort of just drinking socially. So like when I go out and meet people, I basically, rather than just what I was do, what I used to do, which is literally just like, I'd have a wine, regardless of what it was, I'd be like, well, it's a social thing, so I have wine. I now force myself to not do that, like, 50% of the time to try to like learn how to socialise without alcohol constantly being involved. And this was where I'm being like, no, but I also do really like

wine, but this is like, you know, healing my relationship with it and being like, I'm not just going to knock back any house white. Like, it wasn't ridiculously expensive. Because you don't have to have money to do this. That's so important. Me and my friend would go to TGI Fridays and have dinner there, like when we lived together, when we wanted to feel fancy. Like that is, it's or Nando's or like anything. What's so great about it.

Well, I loved so much about it, is it was a work day. It was like a Wednesday. And yeah, of course, if you've got a job, you can't do that. But if you're self-employed as well, you are like, every day counts and I should be being efficient. And I should be in capitalism. And this was like a middle finger to late stage of capitalism. You know?

It was like, I'm going to have wine with my friend. That is really magical. And I actually thought when you meant efficient, I thought you meant like everyday counts and I'm being efficient with my precious time on this planet and using them with my friends. There we go, though. And I think there's something so magical about,

rather than just being like, let's grab something for lunch. The commitment of both parties that this is a wet lunch is the unsigned agreement. that like we're in. Because that's my least favorite thing as people get busier and as we've got older, there is lots

of like, oh I'll pop into that and then I'll but I'm going on to this sort of thing which I've started to do quite a lot and I've started to realise that it just means that then nothing is very full. The experience isn't full like you're not actually experiencing anything

and also then it's not bad to do that I think it's actually very necessary but what I mean is if I'm only doing that and being like, okay, well, I can fit, I can see that friend in, before I see that friend and also, like, in the evenings and then you're kind of sacrificing your evenings, which also, like, sometimes in the evenings I do want to, like, see the person I live with and the best I'm married to, you know, and, like, but actually being, being sat with someone where you've both taken some actual time that you really, in huge quotation marks, shouldn't be doing it then,

you know, is really cool. And, like, it's quite a good, like, um, just sort of, It feels like when you're an adult and you, when you're at uni or something, and you realize you can have, like, dessert, like, before dinner. But then you are like, oh, but now my dessert's gone. And after dinner, I guess I have another dessert. And you realize you can have another one. Yeah. It's like that. It's really lovely.

I think something that we've all really missed since, like, school or if you went to university, if you went to university, or even, like, the workplace is, like, hanging out with your friends and then you, like, agree to do an activity. And then one of them will look at their watch and be like, oh, I've got to get Jonathan from karate. You're like, fuck you're talking. Who's Jonathan? But it's like, everybody's, you're just like meeting for the moment in this middle bit and then everyone's going there different directions.

Whether it's when you're at university or school or whatever, it was like, well, we're all going to geography. We've got to. And then we've all got to do this. And then we've got lunchtime and we can't leave the school. We can't leave the school. We're all just going to be in this canteen together. Yeah. So the thought of someone like wasn't there, you'd be like, where's Jonathan?

Like, he's got his harp. You know, and it was quite a big deal for somebody to be pulled out of something. Because of music lesson. Because of harps. Did you have that thing? We didn't have any harps. Did you have that thing where people had an extracurricular music lesson? Individually, if you played an instrument and you were allowed to miss your lesson if you were in music.

And sometimes when they called the register, they'd say like, Oh, is it his keyboard lesson? Is it his keyboard lesson? Yes. Yes, because I did keyboard for a bit. And that was quite thrilling to be like, sorry, I've got to do keyboard. It was like, looking back, that is quite mad. Like, I miss maths.

Yeah, because you do a keyboard? Yeah. bizarre. But I obviously as well you know, we can't make any sound on anything. That's fine. So I wasn't allowed to go to keyboard. But that's the last time at school. It was either keyboard or you're in maths. Yeah. You know, whereas now you've got an infinite number of things that you need to be doing. And so to be like, we're both doing this and no one's going to get pulled away to anything. We're both, we're here. Yeah. Sharing this together. I went to this destination wedding, which I know gets a lot of shit, a destination wedding. But I was generally moved to tears.

most days because here was this like group of friends who haven't hung out together for a really long time who now some of them have partners and children or whatever most of them have been left at home and here we all were and there was nobody could be pulled out to go to keyboard we were all here so you could only be at this no one had anywhere else to be it is like just just the gift of time yeah and the decision that like we're going to be spending this time together is so depreciating as an asset it is yeah it is so nice and we've got to hold on to it not everything has to be bad for you or good for you, like things that are in quotation marks bad sounding. Like, for example, do you want to go and just drink at lunch on a weekday? Like, are you all right?

But actually, yes, I was all right. Yeah. That was better for it. But there's something, yeah, and I suppose the difference, and as ever, it's not just about the lunch. It's about, like, you're at my relationship with alcohol, I imagine. But, like, I feel like the easy thing, or a lot of people at the moment that I know, who, have similar things about like drinking and stuff are like I'm doing dry January or I'm not I'm okay I think I'm maybe I'm just not going to and of course I'm not talking if you're an alcoholic I mean like if you maybe just socially drink a lot or you kind of want to you want to temper your alcohol intake or whatever but I would never have thought that actually the drinking in the day would actually be something that's

helpful but it actually I think across the board if you could take anything and if you're more intentional with it and you're more like okay I'm going to do that but I'm going to do this in the best way possible, in my way, controlled, in a way that makes me feel like happy and good and it's not sort of mindless, basically. I think it's always a positive. Unless it's crack. That was, until the crack part, really astute.

I thought, but yeah, but I think that's still quite astute because I think you're having a crack lunch and it's basically lunch, but we just smoke crack like that, I think, could very easily spiral out of control. Oh, yes. You can't control your app to have drugs, I imagine. But with things like alcohol and drink

and also like what you do with your time in the day and all of that stuff, I think 2023 is the year where I'm going to try and be more like intentional with my day and let go a little bit and not be so like efficient, like, you know, breaking everything into blocks and being like, well, I have to leave now. Like I don't have to leave now, you know? It's really nice. Wow. Great.

I hope I'm going to, I just, I was just literally roller-dexing through my head of who I could invite to a wet lunch. There's so many people. We could have a wet lunch. To celebrate, um, we've, uh, we celebrate anything. Celebrate anything. Celebrate the day. Let's have a wet lunch. Yeah, because we never talk, not outside of here.

Outside of here. We never talk outside of here. People are like, all of this is a lie. No, it's because we, um, this is literally our catch-up sessions, isn't it? Yeah. Got lots to get through. Um, okay, great. The next time we're recording, we'll break.

we'll go to that tapas place around the corner have a wet tapas lunch not in the break we'll finish we'll finish sorry did I say in the break yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the opposite of all the instructions we'll go everyone's freaking out no no no we'll go after the I didn't like

yeah and then we'll go for a wet lunch yes let's do it okay great oh oh look at the joy oh London see you there oh I really hope everybody you listen to this podcast you text a friend and say I've just been listening to this podcast about wet lunches, what are you doing on Thursday?

Let's do it, yeah. And also if you're thinking, why don't really want to drink, you just basically have a fancy lunch. Do you want to go for a fancy, like, not expensive, but just like nice, like, nice thing or something. Oogie and do a nice thing together and be like, this is what we're doing as our lovely activity for ourselves. Because why the hell not?

Why the hell not? And of course, if you are like, I've got it, I'm a doctor. Stop this. I was all, I was like, we've all had lunch, mate. What's this is the podcast episode. Nobody panic, have lunch. Your next day off, your next day off, your next day. thing, your next, you know, message a person you haven't seen for a long time and be like,

listen, we're committing, listen to the podcast so you know what you're signing up for. It's not dashing in, dashing out, grabbing a bite. We're committing to the food. We're committing to each other. We're committing to the carafe. The window seat, the glass, the whole piece. Yeah. We're committed to being alive.

Oh, we are committed to being alive. And on that note, on that note, thank you so much for listening. If you have any suggestions for future episodes, please do. message us at Nobody PanicPod on Twitter or Nobody Panic Podcast at gmail.com. And also, follows on Patreon because we're doing some fun stuff over there. And Tess has got some merch. It's a lot of fun. It's patreon.com slash nobody panic.

Goodbye. See you at the wet lunch. See you at the wet lunch, everyone. Bye.