Nobody Panic - How to Have Christmas with Your Partner's Family

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

First year going to your partner's parents for Christmas and worried you’ll hate it? Not sure what to do with yourself in the bit after dinner? Scared you will go to help and everyone will yell “BUT JIM ALWAYS DOES THE DRINKS!”? Stevie and Tessa have some festive tips to get through it unscathed. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanic Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive. Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson. Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The date is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace. It's coming to London. True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September at King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. where we do sort of how-toes every week and learn more. Come in. Sorry, who are you? Are you, Rachel? Are you, Rachel? Brian's new, new lover. Start up with me doing some role play.

Very good. I was just getting myself into character for trying to be somebody's mum who is like, yeah, no, I mean, no, fine, no, fine, okay, if that's what, that's what you do at your Christmas. I know, we won't be opening presents, Rachel, not now. You opened it, that's too soon. Oh, you don't, you don't do the Queen's speech. Oh, you don't mouth along.

Rachel doesn't do the Green Speed. Well, no, I suppose everyone to themselves. Absolutely wild. Come on in. If you are revving up to be spending your Christmas, not with your family, where you at least at worst and best know the rules and the lay of the land,

you're actually spending it with your partner's family. I mean, absolutely terrifying sometimes. Even if you get on with them can be concerning, this episode is for you. And if you're not, there'll be enough in here. Come on. Just hang out anyway. Hang out with us.

If you're not, maybe, because it's, maybe you're going to your partner's family, maybe your partner is coming to you. Maybe a new partner is coming to your family. A new person's joining the group that you didn't get any stay over. Like your sisters or your brother's partner, like my sister's boyfriend comes and stays at Christmas. Now he's just part of the,

part of the tapestry of the house but like you know the first few times it's like oh how it's exciting you know quite you know interesting and something new something different and I think maybe he you know he would have liked to listen to this I'm sure to get some yeah some tips my sister's got a husband now well that's happened my younger sister's got a husband he'll be coming and then dad was like where will he open his stocking because we open our on your knee top we open our stocking in my everyone puts their pajamas on and gets in my parents' bed and then we open our stockings and then you were like, where's, where will the husband be?

Well, we, very seamlessly, without even thinking about it, stopped, I mean, I was at the time 30, so it's like, maybe it's time, I was trying, no, you know what, I'm trying to sound cool. No, I was absolutely desperate to drag my sack into my parents and sit on them. It isn't like I've suddenly grown, I've been that size since I was 16 and I've still been sitting on them while opening my presents going, thank you, you, Santa, while not looking at them. But when my sister's boyfriend came, we just took them all downstairs.

And then it did him in the living room, threw paper everywhere. And to be honest, it's absolutely delightful. You know, it's just nice. It's all about, like we say a lot, Christmas is all about constantly telling yourself, it's fine to change these traditions. Like, it's fine to move with the times. It makes Christmas fun and exciting. And so the only time it's not is,

And you're like, we don't want to sit on dad's knee. Well, we can't now, can we? Like, that's the problem. Basically, the mantra of this podcast is change is fine. Yes. And it is only not fine when you keep going. Well, that's ruined now, isn't it? What we found, if you're not doing it while sat in your parents' bedroom,

you're doing it downstairs, you're often closer to the kitchen, which means it's time for Prosecco. A lot easier to access to the Prosecco at 8am. Also, you're a grown-up. Listen, come on. But not really. As I said it, I was like, No, I'm not.

No, I'm not. I want a present. Balance it out by, you know, like, wearing fun Santa hats, like dressing up in you, you know, if you get pajamas for Christmas, dressing, we like to, we have a tradition where we put on, whatever you have been given, you must put it on immediately. If you've been given four jumpers, you put them all on. Always good.

So that is actually harder when you're sat on some. when you're sat on your mother in her bed when you're downstairs there's a lot of fashion shows going on there's a lot of being unable to actually put your arms down by your side because you're wearing too many tops there's a lot of that

and I think that's, you know, there's always benefits and we've already got into it. Well, it's rife, isn't it? It's fraught, it's tense, it's... A lot of fun. It's frot, it's a lot of fun. It's Christmas.

It's Christmas. Enjoy it! It's Christmas! Before we get into it, what's your adult thing, Tessa? Mine is something. something I saw on TikTok. Okay.

You've been going on TikTok, I see. No, it was sent to me in an email from a PR that was like the top 10 best tips we've learned on TikTok. And I was like, this is how this lady needs to experience TikTok. Yes. Yeah. Somebody curates it for me and presents me the top tip. By email.

Thank you. And I look on my laptop computer at the TikTok. Thank you. Yes. Okay, it was a lady on TikTok, and she was like, it turns out, and I'm, listen, just imagine there's music and bits and the words coming up on the screen. Imagine it. She was like, turns out, I've been putting the bin bag in the bin wrong all my life. So when they come off the roll, they're actually inside out. So you know, you like, pull it off the roll, then you stuff

it into the bin, then you put the thing over. No, you pull it off the roll, you puff, that's me, whoop, what's this action? Shaking the bin bag out, so its hole is out. Then you put that parachute on top of the bin, like it's his little hat, like a Pope hat. Yes. On the edge of the bin. And then you just shove his hat down into him.

Like a wizard's hat going in on itself. Yeah, Constitining in. A wizard's hat, consternering in. Then the edge of the bin is already neatly on, and it just goes in. And it turns out the seams of the bin bag are like made in, I went to look at them. I was like, this is ridiculous, this can't be the way, and why has no one ever said? I went to look at it.

She's absolutely right. The seams of the bin bag are indeed inside out, so they're supposed to be that way around. Why does no one say that? Why does no one tell you? Cover of the, you know, the cover of the bin bag thing. Holy shit. So that's mine. That's mine.

Mine is psychological and very deep. I recently, so I have been known my entire adult, oh no, let's, nay, a waking life to force myself to do things that I don't want, want to do but think would be good for me to do. So I'll be like, well, this is good. This will be a good thing. It's a helpful career move or a helpful thing to remove that fear. Like, oh, I'm frightened of that. Am I? Do it. Very helpful. Sometimes it can be pushed too far so that then I'm basically spending all of my time doing things that I am frightened of, don't care for, feel like I'm not doing very well. And I've had quite a tricky couple of months with, like, you know, some personal

things and some tricky things and I was continuing to do stuff all, I mean like, do more, do more, distract yourself. And then I, about, well, a few weeks ago, I was in a car with two friends and they were like, why? And I was like, because the thing. And they were like, or not. And it was obviously much more intense conversation than that, but it resulted in me being like, oh my God, or not. And so I cancelled a couple of things and also stopped doing a couple of... I'm not doing live comedy at the moment and won't be until I fancy it again

and it's been amazing because it's like, what did you think would happen? The world would explode or everyone would be like, oh, we don't like, boo! No, no one cares. And also, all that's happened is, as I'm much happier and really happy that I made that decision and I can just start whenever I like again.

And I think that's probably the most idle thing I've ever done. done. Very huge. I do think you could just have, or not, like, printed on a wall hanging. Yes. Because often you're like, I've got to do this. And I'm like, oh no. Or not. Or not. Don't have to. Well done. Very brave, very bold. Let's get into, right. It's the 21st of December. If you're listening to this one on the day that the podcast actually goes out. If you listen to this on Boxing Day, it's too late. It's the big day, isn't it? It's the big, but this is Christmas Day. especially if you're so my sister spent Christmas one year I think it was two years ago in Australia with her partner's family and that was not just and she gets on with them they're

excellent but that wasn't just oh different and not my family that was like it's hot yeah and it's completely different like her way of doing it which I think will be the kind of undercurrent of this episode was just threw herself in so said yes to literally everything was just like oh we're going for a a swim, of course, rather than constantly going, a swim, but it should be cold in Christmas. This is weird. Yes, like, approaching it with a sense of curiosity. Well, isn't it fun?

When I look back, this will be the Christmas I spent in Australia. Like, every Christmas can often blend into one if you're just doing the same thing every year. It's only one year. You know, why not? I mean, of course, then the next year, there was a pandemic. And we couldn't go, sure. No one could, you know, but, but like, nothing's going to happen. nothing's going to, it's only a positive thing to have different experiences and Christmas

is no different. Like this, when you look back, you'll be like, oh, this is, this was the Christmas that I spent away from my family and we did something a little bit different. So open yourself up to everything being different because it will be, because even when you speak to people that are very similar to you, their Christmas can be completely different. Like, what? You open presents, you open one present on the hour. Or you have to, you have to find the presents in some kind of hunt or like, you all know. Everyone's got the weirdest, weirdest traditions. So I think the number one thing is that you and your partner need to sit down, whether it's

they're coming to your house or you're going to their house or what, it's just the two of you together or whatever's happening this year that is a break from the norm. You need to sit down and be like, okay, what is the schedule going to be? When do your family do this? And where? And like literally go through the day hour by hour. So there's no sort of surprise. No one wakes you at 5 a.m.

And shouts like, and now we, we, and now we. And now we ring the bells. Now we ring the bells and we we hunt the snark and you're like, fucking hell, what's this now? You know, so when will the food be? When are things going to happen? What's expected at each point? Is there a friend of mine had Christmas with his partner's family? Not fancy people, but they do black tie Christmas dinner, like as a joke really, but unprepared. We do that as well. Yeah. But if you're not prepared for that, they're like, where's your black tie? You know? Like, you know, any, any tradition is fine, as long as everybody's prepared and everyone knows what's coming. And then, you know, it's just about, it's just about that. If like, have you been, like, dinner can be at midnight. Dinner can be at the crack of dawn. Nothing matters as long as you know when it's coming and you're not constantly taken by surprise, but like, what's everyone doing now? And we just did a lovely episode about making Christmas dinner last week with the shadow, Stevie's partner, who revealed a number of exciting things about his family,

including that they call pigs and blankets kilts, kilts. And I was like, honestly, if somebody decide chanting, and they chant and they shout, time for kilts! I was like, if that's time happening, you'd be like, sorry? So you're just trying to...

We're putting on kiltz, are we? Is that? And do I need to do that? So it's just about avoiding as much as possible, letting the word, sorry? What's this now? Not be in your vocabulary because you're ready for it, because they've said, by the way, we call kilties,

pigs and blankets, and we chant, here come the kilties. And we're on board. It's James's job to do the killings. And it's only James's job and you mustn't do it. Don't bring pigs in blankets as you're looking. I was going to say, a nice way of ingratiating yourself into a new Christmas is to ask your partner, you know, would it be fun if I brought this? Or would it be fun if there's like a little game that I could bring or, and then if they tend to go, we don't do games on Christmas.

It's a no game festival. Then we don't. Then you think of something else. But between you and your partner, both of you can come up with a nice thing. And also then your partner can kind of tell their fans. family beforehand, oh, you know, Tessa's going to bring this, is, you know, is that cool? And then if the mother or father say, no, then you can rethink, you know. But then it allows you to feel a little bit part of it and, like, you are contributing.

Because one of the difficult things, I think, is when you go and you, you want to help, because when you're a guest, you don't want to, like, and everyone else is a family, you don't want to just sort of sit around and be waited on. But, you know, often there'll be people making Christmas dinner and you feel like you want to help. But then it's James is with the kilties. so you can't. James makes the guilty.

Yeah, how dare you put that bacon around that sausage? So it's nice to offer something. So then, yes, you feel like you are involved. Because one of the things as well, I think, is quite tricky. Is, for example, like we were saying at the start of this episode, from our perspective, when there's like, you know, there's a husband there. And it's like, well, where's the husband's going to be when we open the presence? You can't possibly sit on my dad's knee.

From the husband's perspective, even more awkward, like, oh, they're opening loads of presents and you're just sat there watching everyone open presents like, should I have brought loads of presents? Do you know what I mean? It's like, where do I how do I be when two, two full adults are acting like 12 year olds and opening like presents and

or isn't it not really a presentie household? Do you know what I mean? There's so, there's so much going on where you could feel a little bit awkward. Again, it's all about communicating and not swallowing it and pretending that oh well I shouldn't ask. So beforehand, ask your partner. Oh, so So you all do presents to you. Okay, so what's like, what would be the easiest thing for, like, for me to do during that?

Like, I've got some presents. Do we do that afterwards? While they're all opening presents, should I be making tea? I can make some toast for everyone. Like, I could make mimosis for everybody. I could do a Christmas eggnog. I'll make the nog. I'll be on nog watch, you know, a lot of that.

I think you and your partner need to have a full dress rehearsal, whole dress, tech rehearsal, a full technical rehearsal. In advance, they were like, we walk through the schedule. and within that we're like, who hates who? Who else is coming? So important. What's the dynamic? Well, the extended family descent, who's getting a divorce? Who's cheating on who?

Yeah. Who's cheating. Which 60-year-old women have unburied beef from the late 50s. You know what? Who's got stuff? What can't you bring up? And then, you know, if someone's ready for that, then everything is funny and you don't. But when you're like, oh my God, is this?

Yes. You know, I know, I've been people's families where they had like full screaming row. And I was like, like, and then they come back in a minute later and everyone's laughing. And I was like, is this just the level of dynamic that this is what this is. So it's just like, always be, you know, you've prepped as much as you possibly can. You've had a little technical rehearsal. You know what's coming. You know what's expected.

You know what you're wearing. You know which things are, Jack does the kilties. And which things are like, oh, yeah, that would be, that's fine. And really cross-examine your partner. when they say like, oh yeah, that will be fine, but will it? Or will this be an ancient family tradition and no one wants you to do your potatoes in your way or, you know, what's the line here? And then, of course, is the even deeper thing of being like, oh, look, now you have to

look at your partner, your sexy lover as a child, a small child. You have to see who is a 12 year old, yeah. Is behaving as a child with their siblings, with their parents, who's going off in a drop. Yes. And you're following them. Up the stairs. And you're...

All of the things. Everything about your dynamic is going to revert immediately to being... They're going to be a child and you're going to be dating a child. So that's going to be your experience. It's because you're not reverting. So yes, that's the thing. You don't go down because this isn't your family and your space and your time to be a child. You'll be definitely an adult aging with each passing second.

While they say things like... I didn't want mum to do my laundry. Like I left it on the floor for a reason. You're like, well, okay. That's my top. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Yeah, I don't ever wear it, but you can't have it. And now you're like, why have I fallen in love with this? Your 35. Yes, there was a great, the great Martin Christmas row, which was, I mean, it must have been like five years ago now. And we still refer to it jokingly every Christmas. All it was was, my sister has an attic. bedroom, the stairs up to it. My dad had put presents on the stairs. Can I just pop my presents for

your mum on the stairs? There were some other presents there. Gina got confused the two and mum opened the wrong present. A bit of fun. Ended with Gina and Dad in the living room screaming at each other, me and mum in the kitchen crying because Christmas was ruined. No one could sort of understand what the problem was, I think including Gina and dad, but neither would back down. So, now it's become like a joke where it's just like, whenever we break,

whenever opening Christmas presents, it was like, oh, did it, were ready, off Gina's stairs, great laugh. But like, it's that sort of thing. It's an absolutely sort of trivial business that just will just explode out of nowhere. Good thing is, is that when there's

a partner over, best behaviour. I do think my sister's boyfriend was there for this though. So sometimes not on best behaviour, sometimes in a way too comfortable. So you might get absolutely best behaviour at Christmas, you may get issues. And I think often, like you say, Desirate, it's when the extended family descend and you've got like, oh, it's the dickhead uncle. Yes, he'll say things that are horrific. And everyone just knows that. And you might feel the need to go, I don't think that's correct. Unfortunately, and as, you know, we've spoken about this at length.

There are many ways that you can change people's opinions or help people to be more caring, be more empathetic towards, you know, people that aren't like them, for example. Christmas dinner, when you're the partner and it's your first one, is not that time. It's not your time to go, I don't think that's what you should call it. That's not helpful in this moment. Maybe it's like a lot, you can see that's a long-term goal. Not on the big day. Because everyone will start crying.

Also, like, the person who's made the Christmas dinner will be like, Great. We've made the Christmas dinner and now everyone's shouting. There'll be some sort of woke lefty jab from somewhere. And if you're a woke lefty, you've just got to swallow it, you know? Absolutely. So you've crested through the stocking issue. Yes. You've got in bed with their dad. You've crested through that bit.

You've managed to make it through lunch successfully. You've served mimosas. What a hit that's been. And now it's the post-lunch at Lull. Oh, dear. Uh-oh. Because now some fans. families are like, we watch the Queen's Speech, and some families are like, we're going on an eight-mile walk.

And some people are like, we want to go to sleep and watch Jules Holland. Re repeats from last year's New Year. And some people are like, we want to do games. And I think at this point, it's like, you'll be like, look, and I've been on my fucking best behavior now for 12 hours. Can't we do the thing I like? And I think you probably, it's what, you're bringing a very much of your energy. Well, I just think like, it's tricky when you've been all, you've been tits and teeth, you know, for all day being absolutely adorable, helping, you know, deep. And you're full now, you're full tired and drunk.

You're full tired and drunk. And you're like, I want my family. I'm my Christmas. And so I think at this point is very easy to, you know, this is when the dark times happened, the bleak moment. This is it. This is already like, oh, this is, you know, we've had all this big buildup. Oh, it hasn't actually been that fun. Oh, and I've been on, I've been on form.

four hours now. So I think either can you go off and do, if they want to do thing, can you go on your walk on your own or just with your partner? Like, can there be a breakaway group at this point? Or I think gauge the situation whether your games are welcome, you know, because. Um, yet again, definitely no. I think it's important to know, like, do you at, you know? Do you actually like games?

It's not Uno. It's guest the Olympic sport. As we all know. It's my favourite game. But is like, do you actually like games or do you like playing games? with people who also want to play games. Do you actually want to force your family, your partner's extended family into a game

that they don't get or understand and constantly explaining what the rules are to people who don't want to? You just have to sort of suck it up. You know, like it's not going to be, unless you can sort of, you two can go off and do your own thing a little bit, this afternoon bit, you know, have a bit of a breather and be like,

and then, you know, laugh about whatever happened and bitch about what's, you know, and talk all through. and this breakaway moment is probably a very crucial part of the day, especially if your partner's been upset by whatever, or they're like, I'm sorry that my mum does this, or I'm well, they'll be tense, yeah, because they'll be tense. Yeah, because they're seeing their family through someone else's eyes,

which is always, even if they're absolutely immacclately behaved, it's always weird, and you always want, well, I always want to, you go, oh, sorry that we're doing that, or was that okay, or sorry that's dinner was a bit late, or was you gravely cold, or you generally, you're constantly just like a bit on edge, So yeah, it's hard for them as well. So schedule in there, the like the breakaway, the breakaway bit. And it's very hard to have a breakaway on Christmas Day because everyone be like, where are you going?

And you can't really make anything up because where are you going? Like everything's shut. You can't be popping to the post box. Like it doesn't, nothing makes any sense. If they've got a dog, offered to take it for a walk. That's a lot of fun. If they haven't just be like, I'm just going to, oh, well, what a delicious lunch. I'm just going to do a quick lap of the, I'm just going to solo and I run.

This is just in case everyone's like, oh, great. we'll all come be like I'll be running and then and then they'll say oh great we'll run too and then you've really fucked yourself over a really great tip yeah after the dinner you just done up and go I'm going to do a solo run and then leave the house people really love that well like that's the thing you've got to have something red something that you're like well it's your partner isn't it so you have to say to your partner like so can we go for like a little walk or something and then they're the one that goes oh me and tessor are going to go for a little walk we thought that might be quite nice and then we just go but when do we prep this

In the technical rehearsal, the day before. In the technical rehearsal, we know that's going to be happening. Because if on the day, you can't, on the day, be like, I want to go to the wall. And then they'll be like, we're about to hunt the snark, you know, etc, et cetera, et cetera. Or whatever. Or whatever. And they're like, a what? A what?

What do you want to do in front of everyone? And then everyone's saying, are you saying a wall? We'll all go. And then you're saying, on your own. You're like, oh, no. And now it's a fucking fifth. So this is why we do everything in the technical rehearsal. Okay.

Yes. Okay, everyone. Okay. Very relaxed. Also, if you are missing your family, that's fine. Don't just, like, don't feel bad about that or feel like you can't say anything. Just say, do you, I'm going to give my family, like, a quick zoom, if that's okay. You can have like an out and also as well, that's kind of helpful.

You can incorporate that into your breakaway. Because if you say, I was going to do a little Zoom with my family for like a couple of hours. You zoom your family for like an hour or so with your partner. Your partner, then that becomes the breakaway because then you say goodbye to your family. And then you've got a non-specified time. Very good, Stevie. Very good. This is the kind of shit.

We're workshoping in the technical rehearsal. Very good. You can't be riffing, you cannot be riffing this shit on the day. No way. No. You need to be coming up with this in a relaxed environment

where you're like, that's a perfect plan. Don't let it be too much of a big deal. Because it can be when you're looking at their family and if this relationship is like, oh, this feels pretty serious, this relationship. Suddenly you're like, and these are my family, are they? Like, this is it. If we, if we have, it's a friend of mine.

It's Christmas with their partner's family. It wasn't actually Christmas. It was like, Whitson. Whitson. It was Whitson. They'd gone was whass sailing and then they were having a little sit down. And when you first meet your partner's family, you're so desperate to impress them and you're still so like sort of flushed with love.

And it's all just so exciting that, you know, it's all, it's all very giddy and everyone's on best behavior. And then a couple, you know, years into it, you're, you've decided. you're really serious about this person. Maybe there's even going to be, you know, children or whatever on the way, or not on the way, but like in your future sometime. And you look at these people and you're like, if I have children, these are their grandparents. These are their uncles.

These are their aunts. We might have to move. We might have to move. This is my friend said at the Christmas dinner table. She looked at her mother-in-law and in her head she thought, I'm going to have to watch you die. Oh my God. And that was her Christmas Day.

thought was like, I want to be with my partner forever, which means we're going to have to be, we're going to have to move near your hospice care. That's amazing. And it's like, it's like, that's a sort of shit that never crosses your mind as a teenager when you're thinking about love and wanting to get off with somebody. It doesn't question your mind that you're going to have to, you know, what the intensity of what family and your partner's family like actually mean. And so I say this to you, not to get it into your head, but to be like, hey, hey, chill out.

Yeah, it's all right. It's all right. Don't let these massive thoughts come crowding in. Like, it's okay. It's okay. You don't actually have to live in this, you know, it's this, chill out. Chill out, everyone.

And be aware that that, yes, we've mentioned about the dark Christmas thought. Yeah. That could be your equivalent. Yeah. It's like that very great tweet that was years again, I think about it all the time. It's like, ah, yes, the part of Christmas

where your mum corners you in the kitchen and says the saddest thing you've ever heard. Yeah, every year. Every year. If it's not, Mom, it's someone else. And it's, I mean, just revealing something. fucking awful. Absolutely

horrific. And I think it's either that, or it's you thinking something, or it's you accidentally saying something incredibly big. I remember there's the Christmas Day where I was in such a bleak, but I didn't think I was, but I unfollowed like 400 people. It was when Facebook was like a thing. I defriended like 400 people I didn't know on Christmas Day.

Because I was just like, oh do I know and who do I know? What are we all doing? It's because it's that bit, it really is a killer. That bit in between. lunch, Christmas lunch and bed, it's a real dark vortex. And so that's why people do games and that's why people

wildly try and fill it because otherwise you're very uncomfortably full, so you feel disgusting, you're also very tired. It's also the, it's coming to the end of the day that has been built up more than any other day. It's the birthday blues, isn't it? Jesus's birthday blues. It's the moment when you've eaten, you've done

the stuff, you've had your stockings, you look around the detritus of wrapping paper, you realize there's no more presents for you under the both physically and emotionally. Yes. Yes. And now it's just a cold month. And then January.

Sorry to really bum you out. But like, there's nothing to look forward to anymore. Also, you know, like, I remember one Christmas, my friend WhatsApped me on Christmas Day saying, God, do you ever think, how many more family Christmases have we got?

Like, what are you? How many more family Christmases have we got left? What are you talking about? Like, people go to incredibly different. difficult places. Also, it is, can be very difficult anyway. You may have lost somebody. Of course. Christmas may not be the same. Christmas is where all of the any familial trickiness, sadness, grief, issues, just slight insecurities. It's like, it's like buried beef. Buried beef. It's like, it's like, it's like Jesus himself has got a large magnifying glass.

It's just sort of like magnifying everything on, on his special festival day. As long as you go in, aware of that and when you're going into that with someone else's family they have their own ones and also your dark thoughts might be more magnified because you're not even at home as long as you're aware that that will happen they pop in you know they're there we welcome them in we say not now we say maybe we can do something i acknowledge you i bow to you and then i send you on your way whilst i have another bailies you know there's a lot of that so when they pop in during the dark time you hear stevie's voice in your head i acknowledge you you, I welcome you, I thank you, go on your way.

And you hear me shout in, just chill out everyone. Please do. And so you know you know it's coming, you're ready for it, when they pop in, you think, oh, there they are. That's what those two ladies were wailing about on that podcast last week. Here it is. Oh, that is a dark thought. Much bleaker than anything they said. Wow. God Lord, that's awful. Just so you know, you can tell it to us if you like in your head.

Well, here we are, listen, here we are hearing it. Oh, yes. Not nothing we've not thought ourselves. There we go. Always. You know, I'm just lowering the bar for your dark thoughts. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right.

And you know it's coming. Poof, off it goes. And it'll be an experience. Approach this new Christmas day with a, with curiosity and interest. Oh, interesting to see how other families do Christmas. Oh, you know, a bit of fun. And also you can recount it to your own family when, when you go, you know, they did this. They did that.

you know, the uncle punched somebody. Wow! A lot going on. Pay homage to the darkness and, you know, just technical rehearsal beforehand. And take what magic you can from it. As the famous meme goes,

if Brittany can get through 2007, you can get through this Christmas Day with your partner's family. I mean, that's a very good meme. Thank you. It's Christmas, bitch. There we go. Yeah.

I hope that was helpful. Hope it was. I hope it was. I hope it was. if anything, I just hope it made you feel that you are not alone that this thing you're going through is universally tricky

for everybody. No matter the family, no matter the situation, thousands before you and thousands on this very day and thousands in the future will go through exactly the same thing and have to navigate this emotional mind field for all the parties involved and just take the load off as best you can

and just be like, oh yeah, this is happening. It's weird, but it's happening. I'm riding through it. Here we are. And you bloody are. Well, also, happy Christmas. Happy Christmas! At Nobody PanicPod.

Nobody Panic Podcast at gmail.com. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. See you in the vortex between Christmas and New Year. Goodbye. And the Christmas perinium kids. See you then. Goodbye.

And Merry Christmas.