Nobody Panic - How to Journal

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Dear Diary, today Stevie and Tessa did an amazing podcast on journalling. It was inspired by a listener suggestion, and the aforementioned listener wrote several detailed questions which they worked through in order and found to be a particularly helpful structure. They discussed bullet journalling, whether you need a nice notebook, Tessa's fears over being arrested for a murder she did not commit, and what pen to use. A great day.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Dear Diary, today I recorded Nobody to Panic with my great friend, Tessa. Dear Diary, Stevie was a bitch again.

She's a nightmare. Dear Diary, I can tell when I look at Tessa's eyes that she thinks I'm great and not a nightmare. I look forward to a great time of friendship with her. Dear Dari, podcast again tomorrow, dreading it. Probably throw myself onto a bus or something. I don't have to do it. So... Welcome to Nobody Panic.

Welcome to Nobody Panic. It's a how-to, and today's how-to is how to journal. Thank you so much to... I'll keep you anonymous just in case. We had a lovely listener email in. In March. Good Lord. I'm so sorry. I think their name should be Eisenbard.

I'm so sorry, Eisenbard. March is too long ago. March is too long ago. Because I remember when you sent this email, Eisenbard, I was like, what a great episode and I just never thought about it again. Okay, so... I was just about to type how to journal into Google before realizing I was listening to the closing credits of your How to Go to the Hairdresser episode.

So I decided to ask you. you instead. A seminal episode. And if I may say, quicker than Google. You just as in all seven months and then you get your response. Here it comes. Here it comes. Faster than ask Jeeves, though. Am I right? It is faster than yes, because he's dead, of course. I've always fantasised about being the kind of person who has a diary and in brackets she gets the nub here. Slash has her life together. Look, those things either can or can't be mutually exclusive, whatever the one means that you can have one without the other. But I'm a bit of an overthinker and every time I consider

writing something down, I get overwhelmed. An ex of mine swore by it for helping him consider life decisions, but he would never show me what he wrote. Understandable. I'm also pretty sure he used a spreadsheet. Understandable. Oh, use a spreadsheet? Yeah, I don't even say that was a diary, but that's fine. Actually, you know what? What is a diary?

And that's what we'll be unpacking. This isn't still her email. I was just making my own agenda, that. Right. I'm also pretty sure he used a spreadsheet, which only made me more confused about the concept of journaling. Fair.

Yeah, understandable. She also then lays out some questions, which I think we will be just going through. Please help if you can. In the meantime, I'll defer to the inferior knowledge of Google. Thank God you Googled. Thank God. Thank God.

But yeah, thank you, Eisenbard. And actually, you probably didn't need to be anonymous, but I will keep you just in case. This also dovetails very nicely.

It was something that happened. I can't even remember time ceases to exist when we're doing this podcast. There was some episodes ago. Either we were on air or we weren't. We were recording or we were not. Okay.

And you said like, oh, of course, well, I keep a diary. And I was like, what? And you were like, yeah, you have a journal. Do you not have a journal?

I was like, what a sort of journal? What? And that pushed me of the edge because I've been meaning to do that. And my therapist had said like, oh, that might be helpful. After previously like five, six years ago when I started with it, going, it wouldn't be helpful for you.

But now I think it would be, which I'll go into it later, I think it would be, because there's helpful ways of journaling and unhelpful. It all depends on you. But it really pushed me into it. And I've been doing it for four months now. And I've been really enjoying it. Great. Before we get into the how-to, we like to do our adult things for the week.

My adult thing is that I bought a large, outdoor plastic storage box for the barbecue and the barbecue bits. Oh, great. Just like a dad with a big plastic box, you know, like an American dad. Or an American dad. And I was like, stop getting like an old wooden crate, for God's sake. Like it'll wither and rot. Just like get a plastic box.

Because I got in, I share a communal roof space and no one ever goes up there but me because I'm on the top floor. Nonetheless, there was a reprimand on the house email. Oh, no. These are the my... Clutter. The word is mess, Stevie. That's completely correct. I had made a mess.

And now the mess is so neatly contained and Tuftam and LTD's largest available outdoor storage box. Mine is... So there was a month where my partner was away. And I... So I fought everyone. No, I am... So I've been going a bit loopy about keeping the flat clean.

Okay. I'm messy, he's tidy. We both like clean. But then we were getting into the same. thing where it was like, okay, yes, let's hoover on a Sunday, let's do this thing. And then something would happen, they'd be like, okay, let's do it tomorrow, okay, let's do tomorrow, and then like, hang on, when was last time we last hoovered? I've just, you know, I've just slipped over, and I'm in this pile of dust, I'm choking. It constantly made me really tense, and then I

I realized what I was doing was, is that I was like, well, I got into this weird space where I was like, well, I can't hoover, because I'll also have to mock because it needs mopping. And if I do that, then I'll also have to clean the mirrors, because then you're doing, then I'll also have to clean the tube out, and then I didn't want to open the kind of worms. So I was just sort of like doing bits and I never felt like it was all done. Like, and I felt like I was constantly. There's always something to do. Oh, I haven't washed the windows. Anyway, so what I did was while he was away, I was like, I'm just going to get a cleaner and they're going to come out every week. And I suspect him about it. And he was like,

yeah, if you sort it and you felt like, that's fine. I read a lot about it. There was a lot of like discourse about getting a cleaner, if I'm honest, I read all of it and would have had a bit of a breakdown. I was like, I can't, I don't understand. I don't understand. So I just thought, I'll just get one. And did. And she was very nice. And it was, I felt so like, oh my God, the flat just feels like it's on top of it. I feel like on top of the flat. Yes. And so now within the week, I can just top up clean. Then I felt a bit like, like, I think I could do this myself. I feel bad sort of like having a cleaner come round, got too into the anti-cleaner discourse about it's not okay. Let the cleaner go. And now I found, because she did such a great job of

the foundation work, I'm now able to do a top-up clean every week and feel good about cleaning for the first time. And I didn't realise for years, I was like, I'm a clean person. Why does the thought of, why does cleaning make me so stressed if I'd seem to kind of want to clean? And it was because it was just too much to think about. It was just like, I must do all of the flat. And now it's like, I do, I'm on a little rotation and I've got into a nice little routine and that was so it basically I just my adult thing is I went through a cleaner and cleaning journey very good well done all of us well done everyone do you know you should write that all down in my journal in your journal tell me about how you journal could I pose a return

question which immediately yes you so you never you never journal oh yes it loads so right that's why I think I'm surprised at you being like you have a diary yes so what happened was so when I was 11 I started keeping a diary because um loads of characters and books did and I was like, I must. And then I was like just speaking like all the characters and all the books, you know, like you kind of, I think I sounded a bit like, um, little women when I was doing it. We all did. And then I sounded wild, sort of around year nine. That's always the very, the very sort of puberty year where it was just about one boy. Anyway, I kept a d'adari, I don't know, every single night, but most nights, um, from 11 to, I left for uni, so 18.

Gosh. So I had like, basically a whole, like, two shelves just full of stuff that will have to be put in my coffin and I must be cremated with them. Okay. You don't mean to publish them after your death? Like in absolutely no way. Okay, good. Good to get clarity on those. Couldn't.

They're just mad. And then, yeah, very boring as well. Very, like, classic teenage stuff. I remember an ex-boyfriend of mine said he kept a diary and he was like, I don't know how it came up, but it was clear that he was writing them to be read. And I just, like, didn't have that self. I was like, I'm not, I'm writing a diary because I'm writing a diary. wish I had written them to be read, to be honest.

Way better read. Stopped keeping it when I went to uni. Kept trying, but I think, I mean, it's so cliched and boring. But like, I just died drinking. So I was out. And like I wasn't able, I wasn't coming. I wasn't like at home every night before bed. Now, that's when I would do it.

And then when I moved to London, he'd be like, I was working in a bar. Or I was like, you're so, basically, it was so many other priorities. Money, job. So the only real time was quite recently when it's like, oh, now I've got a bit of a domestic setup that's like quite calm. So then I actually had the space and times to it. Probably could have done it a while back, but it just didn't think to do it until you said it.

And I was like, God, and I think I was surprised because you'd never mentioned it before. And also, you know, I once saw you when you kept an appointment's diary calendar and you would like write the day on the date just in it. And I'd be like, well, how do you know when that day is? And you'd be like, I don't know. So I was sort of like, oh, wow.

But I imagine, but I'm interested to know how you keep a journal and like, yeah, like, what's your journal journey? So in the beginning, exactly the same. All the characters had the journals. So journal it was. But the polar opposite to you, immediately writing to be read. Oh, I'm so jealous. No, well, I'm jealous that you were capable of just like writing your pure thoughts out. There was never crossed my mind that it wouldn't get, like, found.

So what sort of stuff were you writing? Just what the day was. But in an entertaining fashion to be read. Absolutely. Like in a, with a mark to be published. How old are we talking? 11? Like, yeah, great.

You're like, all through school, but like not religiously. Like, I would go through phases of doing it. And then weird phase in year 10, in which started writing it on the family computer. Oh, Lord. Wait, don't worry. I'm playing with fire. Oh, hi. It's just going to be like that time I googled wanking and then printed out.

It printed out. Left in the printer. Left in the printer. Yeah. I will never get over the fact I did that. Anyway, sorry. Family computer, called it English homework, knew I would be safe with that. So an episode of Jonathan Creek, which she'd put a diary, they found her diary,

which is completely blank pages. And they were like, what is this? White text. White text. Fucking saw that as well. Yeah. So she put it in white, put the font in white. Write it, put the font in white.

Thing I did not see coming. The spelling errors are still underlined and red. Okay. So a lot of formatting had to be done in order to get it to be completely white text. Gone. The family computer is gone. And that was one of my big regrets because I think that I would like to read it back. Oh yeah, of course.

Yes, of course. That's the sadness. The computer is gone. It was just like gone one day. On like a floppy day. No, I did. Of course it would be equally useful now. Like it's all gone and I don't know where it is and like.

But maybe it's best that it's gone, you know? Look. Yes, absolutely. It's gone. Go to the wind. So then the first time we went away for the summer as it's, the group of friends was the summer between, maybe between year 12

and year 13. There was four of us. Everybody was very creative. So everyone I did like, everyone was did textiles and art. Actually not me. I was the least creative of the group. Gosh. Gosh. Exactly. And everybody was like immediately committed to the scrapbook and like I used to scrapbook. Yeah. So it's like

all that we were buying tickets to things purely based on health. Yeah. Yeah, you all had like pritt stick in your bag. We had these satchels on. They were full of like pristick, cellar tape, scissors. craft like we were just like ready to craft at a moment's notice and the entire trip became about like crafting and outdoing each other of like who's doing a lovely drawing you know in the corner of their bits but also low stakes low stakes but also those entries are also out competing each other they're like

they were being read out loud every evening of like who's got the like you know reading out the funny bits and like you know you went on like a scrapbook retreat yeah but right up my alley like you were all we were all very happy to be on the scrapbook retreat and came quite into like sort of documenting the day. But again, they aren't really thought so much as they're like just a funny entry to like, that you would, they're almost like letters back home. Yes, I would say what the style of my writing is. Then, yeah, moved to London similarly like lost the way of it.

And then they became like, there was so much less tickets and fun stuff. It was more just like, sad again. Yeah. Can't eat again. Can't eat again. Very cold in the house. We can't afford to turn anything on. Also, you're too busy making money to live rather than to sit around being like,

oh Lord, I couldn't make any money. It's like, no. You can't write what you did because you couldn't afford to do anything. And you just were so exhausted. Shared a McFlurry with Stevie again. That was dinner. Yeah, again. And then the podcast serial comes out.

Oh, yes, yes. And I became, and I got my diary, I got fun and went to get a mold skin immediately. It was like January the 18th, 2014. Yes. Today I did the following. Right. And then my friend, Lucy Hancock had to sit me down and be like, your handwritten diary is not going to be enough to stand up in court that like you didn't.

You're writing stuff down in case something happens. Yeah. Because the whole, I don't know if everyone was listened to serial, but the whole premise is that he cannot remember where he is. And so he has no alibi for this event that happens. They're asking him where he was three months in the past or whatever. And the whole court case hinges on no one knowing where he is on this day.

And so I became obsessive with being like, here was all my movements. Then Lucy had to be like, what the fuck is this? And then one of the entries I found the other day he says, like, Lucy has shouted at me again. She says I am not living if I insist on being this generation Samuel Peeps. So I'm really, I've become like obsessive about that. And then I'm like, I've barely done anything

because it's like, what did I do today? Mostly this journal. Just like, God, I'm exhausted and writing my down. And then that sort of fell by the way side. And now I have a much more casual dip in, dip out, did something fun to happen today, right? But it's always the focus on being read. and I do still like to read it aloud to people

I'll like find it from like three so the thing we did and then like send it. It's so the opposite of me. Please. First question from Ice and Bard Please. Always a shock, that's what they're called. What's the difference between journaling and keeping a diary?

Right question. I do believe that the difference between journaling and keeping a diary is basically what we're talking about. One, and it could be either, I would say keeping a diary, is to be read and journaling is for yourself. They can both have the same effect. So if you're writing to be read,

you can still have some of the effects of journaling. And if I'm journaling and say, someone picks up and says, that's a great read. Well, look, I've got the effects to be in your diary. But, like, I think that the difference is important because it is the intention with which you bring to why you're journaling, I think is quite important.

So, like, for example, when I went, tried to journal, I think I was like, 27, 28 again. Because I was like, oh, actually, I've got time to do it now. It didn't hugely help because I was in a bit of a mess mentally. When I went to a therapist, I was like, I've tried the journaling thing. She's like, oh, yeah, that wouldn't have helped you. And I was like, how do you know that? She's like, the reason that I struggle sometimes and I have to keep an eye on is always that I will,

I get into a spiral and I will kind of just reinforce things myself. And then I've created this whole narrative that doesn't even exist because it was based off one thing that was like, oh, that person looked at me in this way. And I'd be like, maybe it's because of that. It's because of this, because of that, because of that. When I was journaling and I wasn't doing anything helpful for my brain, I basically needed therapy. I was getting in knots and writing out my feelings

was just me writing out sadder and sadder and worse and getting myself worked up into a state that then was making me unwell. So when I went to therapy for a while, I untangled all those things. And now I come to journaling or keeping you diary or whatever from a really different place, which is actually I do it to remind myself of what I did that day, but also to kind of keep a check on how I'm doing because I will make grand statements like, well, this week's been a pile of shit,

but I can't say that when I know that when I look in my diary, well, I had that day and I had a really lovely, like, funny time with Tessa doing the podcast or like I had a really funny. And it reminds me of the good thing, so I can be quite negative. And going into it with that intention is, quite helpful. So knowing why you want to journal is quite helpful because if you just journal because you kind of just want to, then that's great too. But maybe you want to do more of a keeping a diary thing. You're keeping a diary because you kind of, you want to be this generation

Samuel Peeps. Or perhaps it helps you creatively, it sounds like. And maybe that helps you and make sense of yourself in one sense. And my way helps me make sense of myself in like another way. But I think, yeah, I just thought that was good because it was like we actually do do between us to different ones. And bullet journaling, it feels like that's more of exercising a different kind of muscle. And therein is her second question, what is bullet journaling? And is that different to journaling? So yes.

Yes. It's a visual representation of your day, isn't it, bullet journaling? There are rules and there are rules and things you can follow, but you don't have to. You can be very creative with it. But it's generally a visual thing, and it's a way that you can keep yourself accountable in an attractive way that also scratch. is the creativity itch as well, isn't it? Stevie. Oh, excuse me. Get you on the bullet journaling marketing board. That's exactly what it is. But I also hate it.

Yeah, we so we fucking hate that shit. But if what Stevie just said appeals to you, please get in board. And also, I feel like the people that really do well with bullet journaling are a very particular type of brain that like a very visual and need and like organization. And probably the same sort of people that when they were revising for exams would like color code all their notes or something. You're like, how? And if you don't. How and why? Yeah. So if you're going like, if you look at those, like, if you don't really know what bullet journaling is, just go and TikTok or something, or just Google it, and you'll see.

And you will know immediately. You'll go, that's so nice, but what the fuck is it for? That's not for you. Whereas if you go, oh my God, that would really sort out my brain and would make me feel, I've got a friend who, who spends her train journeys there and back from work doing that. And it's her decompression time. That's the thing about the traveling is any long train journeys I'm straight on. on the, I'm straight on the books, you know?

Same. Yeah, and I love that. So I love, I take it always on a plane or a train or when I'm traveling. Like, I'm always like, oh, and now I'll do a bit of journaling. And a bit of that is inspired by the old Oscar Wilde quote of like, well, you must keep a journal. You must always have something fantastic to read on the train. But this is thinking of them as being read, not being.

And this is, I think, what, if I may, stops people like Eisenbard. Again, surprising that's a name. Getting into it. Because you, it's, it's, you think about the ancestry of, it. So many books and novels revolve around finding exciting old diaries. But it's not helpful in the day to day. And so I think it's important to be like, what do you actually want out of it? And so a time when I was incredibly sad and poor, broke and cold. And my feet will wear every day.

Right. So every single entry in the diary was like, my feet away. I'm broke. I'm so sad. I'm so cold. And then after a while, I was just looking back being like, what's this? And I was just like, was it helpful at the time? No, it was not. Only like two days. I'm only like a whole. I'm only like a A week later, I would look back on my week and every single day I've just written. Exhausted, so tired. At one point I've written, I walked back from Finnsbury Park train station, had to walk very quickly past a mattress on the ground in case I lay on it or something. And then I was like, right, stop this. That actually would be helpful, though, in the future, looking back and that and going, look how far I've come.

Like, look how happy I am now or look how, so there is always... You're so right, you're so right, because that was not what I was taking from this, which what I took in the moment was to be like... That's not fucking moaning. Take it as standard that you are sad and cold And then write down every day Something that was like something that made you laugh So every single bit in the diary I stopped trying to write the day

And I just then it becomes a series of entries It's just like one line long of like a funny thing that happened today Definitely yeah And then the journal for me at the time became a like A gratitude thing almost I think that's a great way of using it And I think that's a really yeah I wasn't saying so you should just keep saying you sad all all the time

But you're so right like what You make a fantastic point which is if I look back On this section like it's all just like a funny thing that happened today whereas really I was incredibly sad and I'm not making a record of that. True, but you could, but you did by, you did write it for a bit. Like, and also I think I bet if you look back at those ones, even that you were saying funny things, it would be like funny, you'll be able to tell that you were bought, you're poor and sad.

Absolutely desperately searching for anything that made me laugh today through the bitter tears. Yeah, or yeah, you know, it'll be like, you'll get the vibe. Writing things down is obviously incredibly helpful. It's not helpful if you're somebody, for example, like, who's dyslexic, who really hates writing. Don't do it. Don't do it. Absolutely fine. But so the fourth question is how do I structure what I write about and what do I write

about? And I think that is like essentially the core issue of why, for example, I didn't write throughout my 20s, why once you go from being a child where you're like, what I'm doing is worthy because I'm doing it to being like, oh, I'm an adult like, what should I write? What sort of book, notebook shall I write it in?

Oh, that's too nice. I don't want use my nice pen. I mean, I'm sure I imagine you actually probably write your diary. If you're writing it to be read, I imagine you write it in quite a nice notebook. Got a nice pen maybe. Nice pen. Not too nice a book. Interesting. So that you don't be like, my words are not worthy of this good book. Yes, because that's, I think that is... You've got to keep it just the right shade of a bit. Just like a normal book. Just a normal. Just a normal. Just normal. No pressure. Let's, let's ease in. I went the other way and I use very nice ones because I've just had these nice ones for ages. And I was like, well, what am I ever going to put in them

that is worthy because you are worth a nice book like what could be more worth of a nice book than your life than a human being's life you know

what are you looking for that's more than that's not this like like sorry once again wow I must have taken some performance announcing drugs

okay so you don't have to think about what you write about you really don't what you have to think about is why you want to write. That's what we've sort of come to the conclusion of. So the most important thing is to just start

and you cannot be wrong and that's the bit that will trip you up thinking that you've done it wrong. Things like, for example, I probably don't write every single night, but I write enough that I sort of feel like I basically do. Whereas when I tried to do it when I was like in my 20s,

I would write for a bit and be like, well, I haven't remember three days, that's fucked. You're like, why? Even if it's like twice a week or once a week, even if you do four a year, then when you're like 70, and you find those, it'll be like, that was what I was doing in 2016,

2023, whatever. Like, it's so, so whatever you do, like, okay, so I started this, this diary, and like, the first thing I wrote was like, for some reason, I wrote, like, the 29th of September, 2020, I was like, and then I started a diary of being like, a new date format, whissy. It was like, I imagine, how that, like, and it's just like being silly. And then I became very well, like, who am I joking to? Like, I'm being a joke for myself.

And then just kind of went into it. But like easy, it's showing me how easy it is to kind of go out of yourself and feel self-conscious. Yes, that I think for Eisenbad, if Eisenbad has never journaled, will be a real area of tripping up of the very when it begins being like, who is this for? Who is this for? Who is diary? Who is this? Who is dear diary format? Like, what is this?

And there can be this like weird, sick making feeling of being like, today I went to the shops and you're like, I know. I was there. Like, so it's this. But will you know in the future? Well, you know in the future. And so it's hard to be like, then it's hard to think of yourself in a future, whether you've forgotten that you went to the shops. And like, so it can feel very odd and existential.

The message is sort of like power through that there until you're into your medium. And then it's about being like, what are the things I want from it? Is it I just want one quick record of the day because I'm worried about my memory and I just want to like record things and I like the future use to look back on? Or it's like, I'm incredibly sad at the moment. I've got these big, big feelings to work through. I'm going through a lot and I really need a place to process it. In which case, I would suggest, like a rough book from school, like an exercise book,

just something that's like really crap, not a particularly good pen, and just force yourself to write a continuous page of don't read it back at all. Just like get the thoughts out, however weird, however sad, however horrible they are, even they're like, who, what, uh, fine. Just get it out, don't read it back. Turn the page, tomorrow will go again, and we don't read this. Yes. And then if it's like, I'm worried about forgetting things or I love somebody read a bit of their diary

from a, and I couldn't even remember that thing that we did. And I thought, that would be so cool if I had a diary, then be like, upgrade yourself a bit nicer, a bit of a pen. And then I think, just think of yourself as writing to a friend as you would, like, write a letter or something. Or old you to look back on and go, what a fun week I had for that. Like, drinks that you have with friends that you would just forget even the next week. Like, things that you go, oh, that, Tessa says,

something really funny. And you just, like, wrote, like, little quotes or things. Yeah, exactly that. And, like, get yourself. And again, don't freak out too much of the future thing, because otherwise you'll be like, dear Eisenbard, in the future. Are you well? How old are you? You're so right. And also, are we underwater yet? Me as well being fine with future me, but also I know that you, you don't like the future.

So that's, just in case that's also you, eyes and bud, don't freak out about that. And I think maybe if there's like a Bridget Jones or a Samuel peeps or Angus Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging or any book that you like the style of, that you like, like the style of it, like, oh my God, the worst thing you can think of. Like, life is too short to worry about things like, what's the, I don't know if my tone of voice of my own diary is right. Like, Jesus Christ. Just pick one and be like, that's what we're doing today. We're just doing that, yeah. It's funny when you look back on your old diaries

and you've written very much in the style of like whatever book you're reading. Like I was really, I was honestly writing my diary the night like I was Margaret Atwood because I was reading The Blind Assassin and she's writing a diary. I saw the bit from Lord of the Rings the other day where he says, not idly to the leaves of Lorry and fall. And what the phrase is like, those don't drop off easily. you know

but what he's used is not idly to the leaves of Laurian fall and I honestly was like I should start with the verb more but how fun would that be if you did that

because then you look back and then you're like oh that was that time someone's having a real Lord of the Rings experience aren't they not idly can't get it wrong

yeah because if you do get it it would have much wrong it's funny in the future to read back and go Jesus I sounded like Margaret Atwood then not gladly did the head

rise from the pillow this morning you know stuff like that You're like, exhausting way to phrase yourself. Yeah, or occasionally I'll find in my diary, even though I'm not writing it for anybody else, I say that I will occasionally like pop in like a world event because I'm like, well, obviously I want to be aware that if anyone did read it, that the Ukraine conflict is so long going.

I do that. So I started it hard, where as soon as we went into lockdown because I was like, I really got very into it then. And it was a lot of like what's going on in the world. And also I feel like a tiny crumb. And it was like a nice to have a weird little record of everything. But it is funny to be like, looked at him in physics class today, Ukraine at war. Yeah, it's exactly that. Yeah, like I looked back at my entry for actual 9-11.

Oh, Christ. And it's the whole two pages are about how someone posted a postcard through our front door. And I thought it might be a secret admirer. And all the people that it might be, it wasn't. It was just someone posted a postcard through the door. Like, it could just be anybody. And at the end, it's like, oh, yes, two players from the door. Oh my God.

I mean, this is why that, like, that there used to be a live show called, I think it was called cringe factor infinity. I remember, yeah, but you go and read out your teenage diaries and it was a captive

and electric audits with people were like, this is the staff. Yeah. And here's this link, this like the purest link to you in the past of being like, I was a little freak. And it's your mistakes that make it fun.

Like if you wrote it perfectly and you wrote it is incredible, it would just be a bit boring. It's the little, synchyncreties and the kind of the stupid stuff. And so just to finish off all, because I want to make sure that we cover all of... Of course. There's more question from Isabel.

Of course. How do I write in a way that helps me see things clearer or work through important decisions? What does that even mean? The thing is, is you won't know that you've worked through important decisions until after you've done it and you look back and you go, God, I've moved on from that. So essentially it helps you establish, from my end anyway.

It helps me establish a pattern where I'm able to look back because I don't reread them until like, you know, months later, and I'll open it and just, I should have out of idle curiosity. I'll see something and go, what day was that? And then I'll kind of start reading. And I'll be like, God, I was in such a different mindset then. So it's basically about establishing patterns. Don't expect to write a journal entry and go, well, now that's solved.

Like it won't be. You're not solving anything. If you go at it going, I'm going to write this journal, so I'll see myself clear it. There's nothing you can do to make that happen. It just will happen the more you write in it. And the more honest you are, and the more like not thinking about other people reading it will make you be seen the most clear. But that's not to say that that's better than writing a diary that you believe will be read.

And that's really good to do because it also will allow you to see the good in your day and the entertaining elements of your day rather than dwelling on the bad parts of your day, which I can really see. And also a lot of fun for future you to read back. A hundred percent. Both sides. All are good. Any more questions from Eisenberg? Two more. Please. What are the health benefits of journaling? Don't know.

Will journaling change my life and or make me a million? Millionaire. No. A millionaire. I think it's just like a kind of a fun question there from Eisenbard. Idenbart having a good laugh. But do you think Eisenbard means, not from publishing, surely, just from like unlocking the creativity. Unlocking the creativity. Might do, might not. I wouldn't say go into it for that reason. I think it's just a bit of levity from Eisenbard. Okay, finally, most importantly, how do I start the first page, my beautiful new notebook without ruining the whole thing? And now I think about it, this might be the only question that matters. And I feel like we've inadvertently answered this throughout and then let's focus on it.

Bring it home. Yeah. I think eyes and butter is clear now that we've come to the end of your questions, what it is you need. And what you need is to do is get rid of that nice notebook. Put it back on the shelf. Interesting. Yeah.

You're too freaked out. You're too stressed. Put it back on the shelf. Another time. I want you to get a nice rubbish one. It's a fine. Plain one. Good quality paper.

Nothing crap. You're worth paper chase. Has that gone into administration? It certainly has. Right. You're worth more than that. You're worth more than that. Get yourself, you know, if you find it something that's like, oh, that's good paper, that's good quality, but it's not particularly fancy, it's nothing special.

Start there. Keep your pen fair, but not the best. W.H. Smith, Byro. Good flow on it. Great flow. But not those, like, gel pen things that are like for a bit too much, or like a cross pen or a fountain pens, nothing like that. No, no, parkers. Just good, just good honest stuff is. An honest one pound, bio is what we're looking for here. And then you're going to start with this, this, like, stream of consciousness stuff. Yeah. You've got a lot of stuff in there. And they can just be writing a diary. Feel weird about it.

What is it? Who am I talking to? What's this for? What do I want to be a millionaire? And keep those questions coming and then force yourself every day to get to the end of the page. Just like one page. You can write more, please do. But if you only manage to write three lines and then be like, that's probably enough.

Like force yourself through the thing. And if you have questions that are coming up, are like, should I stay in this job? Should I do this? I mean, am I in the right city? Just keep those questions coming and then be like, that's done for the day? Close the book. Close the book. Done.

Close the book. We return tomorrow. And the fear, of course, how do I sign off? I just stop writing. End. It's the end of the page. And the beauty of a diary entry is you literally don't have to worry about structure,

ending on a cliffhanger. You don't have to worry about that. That's the whole point in the bit, because it's not a published piece of work. It's not for anyone. And I don't want to see any war on Ukraine continues. That's not for Eisenbard. But you can't.

No, no. In this, I think Eisenbard... If Eisenbard feels like it? Yes. But I think Eisenbard isn't a place of wanting to, like, journal and unlock and like, you know, work through some ideas. Pop Ukraine in if necessary. But I think it would help a freer.

Yeah, not thinking about it is the main thing. Because then you're like embarrassed and being like, how embarrassing I didn't, I didn't write about Ukraine today in the journal. It's just like, get those feelings out. Once you've written it now, like, do I continue the thread of Ukraine? Yeah. You have to keep updating about Ukraine. Look on news.

So it's like next day, like, still thinking about the job. Wonder if it's this? And then like, see if there's like some themes coming up. And then don't read back for one month. Yes. Don't worry about it. You don't have to do it every day. If you do feel really stuck, just write about what you did that day.

Even if all of your diary is like basically just things you did that day, that is of worth. And you will not realize the little things that are reading between the lines, the little things that you are adding that will be painting a picture and also helping you figure out how you would like to journal. Because we all journal in different ways. The main thing is you shouldn't do anything that you don't want to do and you shouldn't over-

Overthink it. Just get it down. You can't be wrong because it's literally. yours. Exactly. Hopefully that helped. Love from Stevie. Love from Stevie.

I hope that was of some help. Your ultimate question about like, will help me work through this stuff? Not yet. No. Not until you look back on it. And you cannot look back until you begin. Oh!

Yes, I knew I'd get one. There we go. There we go. We're both finally on a par. Finally, intellectually on a par. And with that, good night. Goodbye. Thank you, Eisenbard.

And sorry for calling you, Eisenbard. And goodbye, everybody. see you next week for another riveting episode of nobody. Goodbye.