Nobody Panic - How to Make a Bed

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Featuring way more cry-laughing than expected, Stevie has read about how to make a hotel-level bed which leads to some frankly mortifying bed-based self discoveries. Mainly about duvets. A surprisingl...y wild ride for everyone.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Aniya Das and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.
Starting point is 00:00:17 True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to Nobody to Panic. Please come into my bedroom and look at my bed. Gosh, good start, isn't it? God, that's nice. It's nice, isn't it? Because I've learned how to make my bed properly. I'm backing this episode. I think it's a very important thing. Very important skill we should all learn, but never do. Have you actually learned?
Starting point is 00:01:01 No. Have you started doing it? I've researched. No, no, I believe you, but you don't have to be defensive. Don't worry. I'm not. I'm fucking not, okay? And we've begun strong, everyone. My question was just whether you had started making the bed in a different way. No. God, no. I find making the bed, well, this is why we're doing it. I find making the bed one of life's biggest challenges and heartaches. Lest that, it's so fucking boring. And I get so bored of the thought of doing it.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I think there's very few chores that I feel so bored by. Often I don't want to do them, but I'm like, well, it's satisfying at the end. And it is satisfying to get into a bed and you're like, oh, the shoots are great. for one night and then they're like slept in a normal again. I think it's and thank you so much for sharing the truth. Thank you for acknowledging the sharing of truth. And holding the space for the truth. I think it's one of those ones that a hotel bed
Starting point is 00:01:51 is such a like, it's so outrageously delicious to get into. And then the thought of like making that for yourself it's so exhausting to even think about and then it's exactly what you say like you need someone to come in every day and make your bed. And also you need to be in a hotel. And I've got some. Bones to pick with hotel bed
Starting point is 00:02:10 No, I'll save it Oh, we've got to pad this episode On some way No, I'm excited about it Because I really, this is how much I want to do this episode I, for many years, as I kept pitching Nobody Panic 3.0, the silver screen. Oh yeah, well, I wanted, I was pitching it too.
Starting point is 00:02:27 I know, we were all pitching it, but my suggestions were Chopin onion, yes. Change a car tire, yes, and make a bed And I wanted to, what? I didn't think of it. What did you think of that? I said shit, man.
Starting point is 00:02:39 I've forgotten it. I wanted us to go to like clarages and meet the top bedmaker and learn from the bedmaker, like the head of housekeeping at like the world's best hotel. I wanted us to go and learn how to make a... I want to do that. Me too. We all agreed. But then nobody was interested in...
Starting point is 00:02:59 So no one else wanted us to do that. No, the head of clarages was not very interested in us saying, where's your head bedmaker? And can we learn from them? If you are the head of claridge's, are the hotels also available and you would like to help us learn on camera? We'd really like to learn. I'd really like to learn.
Starting point is 00:03:15 It's so popular as well as in the moment. I mean, popular isn't in populism. Or you'll hear the rest of the sentence and you'll think, is it? There's a lot of that TikTok phenomenon, day in the life of a stay-at-home girlfriend. Oh my God, I'm obsessed with them. And they're often sort of so rich and they just spend the whole day just getting out their various sort of gadgets and then boxes of things they've ordered. It's very attractive, very small girls.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Just having endless matcher. Yeah, lots of matcher. But they make the bed at the beginning. And I once tried to make a joke one. And I put the camera up and then I just sort of threw the duvet up and then I was like, and then left the room. And actually it looked so bleak. It wasn't even very funny.
Starting point is 00:03:58 It was just so sad. But anyway, they always make the bed like, and they put all the cushions on and they put all the blanket. And it's all really nice. But it takes so long. It takes so long. And so I've just got... Also, when you, like we are, I don't want to go...
Starting point is 00:04:12 I can only speak for myself. Please. I don't go out on a limb and say that you may nap throughout the day. But like I... I actually... Sorry, go on. I will occasionally have a nap of a weekday. And then you've got to make the bed again after that.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Nightmarish. It's not for napping girls. Napping is actually not, I'm not on the nap cycle. I'm a wolf. My sleep cycle is a wolf. And I go to bed late and wake up late, but then I'm up. Anyway. So...
Starting point is 00:04:36 So... The bed, it's a lot, isn't it, the bed? One of my dreams is, be very, very wealthy, of course. Miguel, the chef, he's my number one purchase. Right. And the bedmaker? No, number three. Number one, Miguel.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Number two, Alejandro. Alejandro is my stylist. And I never, ever think about my clothes. Oh, okay. I'm into that. Alejandro dresses me every morning. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:05 Chavonne. I see. She comes in and makes the bed. Interesting. And it's like ironed and crisp and she does it every day. That is one of the number one of those. You've got our ironed. I'm a humble woman.
Starting point is 00:05:15 It's just the three of us travel in the world. Yeah, you sound it. You, Miguel, Alejandro, Chavonne. And we're off. And we're off. And we're off. little pause and we discussed the most adult thing that we've done this week. I had a dinner party for seven people.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Jesus. I cooked a chili con carne vegetarian from scratch. Great. I didn't cry once. The table was laid. Everything was done. And I made a cake. This is wild.
Starting point is 00:05:56 It is wild, isn't it? And I had to really keep it under control of like how I couldn't believe. Like high-fiving everyone every five seconds. And being like, because it was like making a basic meal for seven felt like I shouldn't deserve as many high-fives that I insisted people give me. But it felt fantastic. It happens a lot of people. I was very inspired by Monica Heise's episode about people around.
Starting point is 00:06:15 You have your jug of cocktails. You just chill out. Don't have a white clean plastic tablecloth, etc. I really took a lot from it. What's yours? Got some presents from my partner for my birthday. And for the first time I said, he's like, he got me a pair of trainers. And they were fine.
Starting point is 00:06:35 but I knew I wouldn't wear them. And so I said, and I was like, oh, they're great, they're great. And then when I had to show, I was like, I don't think I'm going to wear them. And I thought, the adult thing is to be like, be truthful. So I did say, then this came after the non-adult thing of he bought me this incredibly me dressing gown, which is like black Hugo Boss, like waffle thing, like beautiful, like so cool. And I nearly cried because I was wearing my dress. dressing gown, which is this like white sort of stained, fluffy dressing gown, which is white
Starting point is 00:07:11 company, but I've had it for a long time. I hate it. Yeah. And I felt so upset that this dressing gown would feel bad. Okay. I would open it. I didn't say that. I couldn't verbalise why I was like, oh, it's great, but I don't want to open it.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Because if I open it, then I'll, I can't send it back. And he was like, do you not want it? And I was like, I've already gone a dressing gown. He was like, it's covered in egg. Like, no, yeah, but like, it'll be sad. And then I had to be like, I had to actually say, yeah, I honestly feel like this dressing gown will be sad. And I've opened that dressing gown, why would I ever wear this one?
Starting point is 00:07:45 And it knows that. And he was like, okay, took the dog for a walk. And then I came back and I was wearing the new dressing gang, like, I love it, I love it. But then I did unfortunately have to then say, I don't want the trainers after. So it was a real, like, emotional roller coaster of just giving me a couple of presents. that I liked. But I said it in like a good way. I was like, I love the trainers. They are really, really nice trainers. It's just that for me, I don't think I'm going to be able to style them. I've not, they don't give me that kind of like excitement, you know, and I felt glad. And now he
Starting point is 00:08:17 understands. And I'm going to swap them for something I prefer. So that is good. I think that's really wonderful. Yes. And that's you did really, really well. Let's make the bed. Let's make the bed. Let's make the bed. So I've got some bones to pick. with hotels. My issues are is that the hotel bed, they are catering to a broad audience.
Starting point is 00:08:42 So, for example, I find hotel beds there's not enough thickness. I love, my personal duve heavy, thick, can't really get out of it, feel like a bear
Starting point is 00:08:54 being crushed. That's what I want. I want to feel like a bear's on top of me. That's what I sort of prefer. When you go to a hotel, it's like, here's the, the blanket, you know?
Starting point is 00:09:06 Also, tucked in. So when you get in, you feel like you're in a coffin. Yeah, and then you've got to kick your feet. And then you have to kick your feet, but you can't kick your feet and just like a casual. You've got to like, really good. And actually what you've got to do is you've got to get out and like go around. But you don't want to do that. So then you end up like doing this like quite intense feet kicking thing for a while,
Starting point is 00:09:22 until you're free. And then it sort of just feels like I'm laying under a towel. But I understand why they do it because you are catering for the broad audience. You can't cater for the people that want to be squashed like a bear. Well, guess what's in the cupboard? A bear. Top, top drawer above the wardrobe. A duvet.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Yeah. Okay. I'm flawed. I'm absolutely flawed. And if not, you just call down to reception and say, please could I get an extra duvet or an extra blanket? I saved myself so many nights of crying. Simply are.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Actually, I think you could, that perhaps could be your motto this year. Ask about the duvets. Simply ask. Okay. Number one is the opposite of what I would have said. Okay. And where are we getting our sources from here? We're getting your sources from amalgamation of lots of different hotels across the world.
Starting point is 00:10:07 So this particularly comes from the Plaza Hotel, Gabriella Wong, who works for the Plaza Hotel in New York City. Thank you, Gabriella. Fitted sheets are not your friend. Gosh, go on. Gabriela! I'm in. I couldn't be more in. Yes, they might make changing beds easier, but if you want hotel quality beds, you can't do it. You need fitted sheets because it allows you to, it's just more even, and it allows you to stretch and pull the sheets as.
Starting point is 00:10:32 tight as you can and allows you to do that kind of signature, the hotel touch. Hospital corners. Hospital corners. So you tuck the sheet into the ends.
Starting point is 00:10:41 So if you've got your rectangle, you're like, you're tuck in the end, top end, bottom end. Both top and bottom. Yeah. And then you leave your, your corners flapping.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Right. Because it's flat. It's not going to... Long sides loose. Long side's loose. Corners flap in. Then you lift the edge of the sheet to form a 45 degree angle.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Yeah. Like wings. And you pull and then you pull and then you, you tuck that hanging fabric as tight as you can before doing the same with any kind of leftover fabric around that corner. With the fitted sheet, you're always going to get the sort of creases around because it is bunching the material. But it's very nature. Well, exactly. And of course they won't go beautifully into the linen cupboard.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Well, you can't fold to them. And I, there's the rub. Lead us on. Oh, it's Catherine Devlin. That's a surprise to us all that she's got something to say about this. God, and they've let her out, have they again? He's an executive housekeeper at the Homes Hotel, London. Now, this is, again, where it's slightly tricky to describe, but this is putting duvets on. And what they try to explain here is that, like, duvet covers
Starting point is 00:11:44 of a bigger purpose than just looking pretty. Not only do they keep your duvet clean and help with longevity, but also designed with your skin health in mind. I think that's going too far, and everyone just needs to dial it back and sort of get a life in essence. What does Catherine say? What does she go on to do? She doesn't say that.
Starting point is 00:11:58 So, Catherine, I'm not telling you to get a life. I'm telling the sort of the, I'm telling someone out, chat GPT, that wrote this. The idea that we would not know that you meant to put a duvet cover on a duvet is quite astonishing. But maybe you're listing and you've just, you've got your duve without a cover on. We've all done it. I don't think I have. I've gone raw a number of times.
Starting point is 00:12:18 But you've known you've been doing it. Oh, I knew it was wrong. Yeah, yeah. It isn't just like, what? This is what's meant to be like. Yeah. I felt high on the adrenaline of how wrong it was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:27 The thing is, I would never, ever, ever go raw pillow. never and yet raw mattress I'm like yeah I know gross isn't it oh yeah but you know what yes that is gross but I'm presuming you're doing that because you've stripped your bed because you've gone like it's time for new sheets absolutely and then they haven't dried in time and you get you get home late and you forgot to do your bed and you look at the
Starting point is 00:12:49 you look upon the unmade bed the exhaustion of that and you just think fuck it and you wrap yourself like a little worm and you lie down you have a one night standard with a raw a raw pillow when I was in your prime In my, well, technically, yeah, no. I have and I've said, where's your linen cupboard? And I've insisted we find a pillowcase and put it on. Where's your linen cupboard, she says, during, during, during coitus.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Head of housekeeping, matron, being like, where's your linen cupboard, please? I'm not lying down on that. I would say my bed hygiene has vastly improved. I have a live-in lover. And he takes the hygiene very seriously. He's like a normal person. He's a normal man. And he's a normal person.
Starting point is 00:13:31 He really thinks we should wash our sheets regularly. Yes. And so we do. But I never would reveal to him how, what time frame I would be on for sheet washing. I'm still going to say I'm never going to reveal, even on this podcast, even off air, I'm never going to reveal how long I think I would leave it. Because it is real bad. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:51 So this is Catherine Devlin. And yet I want Chivorn to do it every day. Isn't that insane? It is insane. I'm prepared to sleep on it raw and to change it. And yet, I pay you chevonne. Yeah, you pay shevon money. Do it every day.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Well, the reason that we don't do it often is because you just go like, oh, not now, I'll do it tomorrow. Oh, don't now, I'll do it tomorrow. Because it's that classic, it's actually the worst task in the world because of the timing. It is maybe five minutes too long for you to do it now. And it's also not long enough for you to really justify never doing it. it so you always feel guilty. You're saying, you're speaking truth to power. I really are.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Speak on that. Speak on that. I tell you another top tip. I'm just going to say right now. You need to get two full sets in rotation. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're talking to sheepworm.
Starting point is 00:14:48 These are just the classic tips. Okay, and now, of course, hospital corners. Hospital corners. Yeah, no, so this is just about how to change the duve. Ready, Catherine. How to put the duvet. the duvet cover on the duvet. I think this is quite basic.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Just take two corners of the duvet and shake the duvet cover out the correct way. You make sure the top two corners are at the top of the bed before smoothing the duvet out, making sure to fold under the bottom corners and the sides. Whoa, Catherine. That is just putting a dupe cover on. It's not really a tip there.
Starting point is 00:15:18 We need to understand how to get the duvet inside the thing, because I'm inside the duvet camera, and that can't be right. No, you shouldn't go inside. No, I know. And recently, when I took a living lover, he was very helpful, like, oh, the buttons on the bottom. I was like, oh, right. What, where are your buttons?
Starting point is 00:15:34 Top, top, Steve. I know. Yeah. Up in July was 29. Buttons on the top. That should be your cordial. That should be your memoir. Buttons on the top.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Yeah. A life felt not asking. Like that's, a life lived without asking. But Stevie Martin. What did you think they were doing on the top? Just being there. So you thought they were like, now. living with me.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Living with me. Well, just as though, you know, you'd like, do. Sometimes I think, not only why do this podcast, why were even out of the house? Like, these are two women not prepared. You know when you like,
Starting point is 00:16:06 do your buttons up on your card, on your top, and they're at the top and they go up to your neck? That's so nice. It was like, it felt like the duve was facing me. That's so nice, Stevie.
Starting point is 00:16:17 It's like a dyes or something. I understand completely. You've done your shirt up and you've done his shirt up. Buttons at the top. My pyjamas, buttons are there I can't believe. We attempted to ask some head,
Starting point is 00:16:32 housekeepers and some top hotel for tips. I will continue, though. When your partner isn't there, do you sometimes put the buttons back out? No, no, no, no, I know. Once I knew it was like, obviously. And also it meant that now we've got like nice buttons.
Starting point is 00:16:49 And now he's at your feet be like, good night. You're top and tail. It's nice. This is why simply ask has got to be your motto, because there's so many things in your life that you're just like, that's the head of the whole fruit,
Starting point is 00:17:00 I suppose. I suppose. It's like life can be way, way easier. Okay, what's tip number three? Oh my God, right, okay, you don't need to get the iron out to achieve perfectly crisp cheese. No shit.
Starting point is 00:17:20 I'm not ironing my friend. It'll be too hot. It'll be too hot. Okay. Okay. Okay. So this is Adabel Carlos. Thank you for joining us, Annabel.
Starting point is 00:17:30 You're in. You're in a fine company. So if you spray a bit of misted water onto your sheets and just pull them tight, you say goodbye to wrinkles. When's that happening? When's that happening? Obviously, what do you mean? When we're making the bed?
Starting point is 00:17:45 Yes, we're making the bed. And then I spray it with a bit of water. Or do you're in sheets. So not the sort of water you're thinking of, not like, you know, you sort of just like, you need a, you need a. like a fine mister, you know, like a, like you'd missed your plants with. Sure. Again, I haven't sorted out, but my partner does. Yeah, like I might.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Have you got a mister in the house? We actually do, yeah. Okay, so you could miss the sheets. I could miss my own sheet. I won't. I think you should, in the interest of science. Okay, I'll miss my sheets. There's another tip.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Obviously, make sure that your sheets are the correct size. Now, that says, that's obvious, but that's not really, is it? Like, because I've definitely got sheets that are too big and been like, well, that's too big is fine because it's better than being too small. Certainly. But then they kind of bag and like sag. And if you're like...
Starting point is 00:18:34 Do you're talking sheet or you're talking duvet? Sheet. Oh yeah. If your duvet cover is not the same size as your duvet, you have even a world of pain. I live like that for six years. And like... I bet he was just retreating away from you.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Retreating. Flopping around. Mother! Help me, mother. Yeah, that's terrible. Also, I would feel sick every time. woke up because you know when you're like you've got empty you've got an empty sheet and then a huge big bag of duve at the bottom it's like there's a body inside it well it was for you of course
Starting point is 00:19:02 it's your friend and he's like curled on your feet like a cat yeah horrid okay so duve obviously correct but then what is wrong with putting too big a sheet on the bed it just took it in for the hospital corners yes you took it in for the hospital corners but the thing is then if you move in the bed so so say you like you're you're moving around and you kind of pull the sheet a little bit it's going to pull out and out and like bag up and like have big bubbles in in the sheet so it's not going to be tight. Truth be told when you do try and get a king size sheet into under a single bed you are raising that mattress up quite a bit in order to shove it underneath. Yeah yeah. And they are coming out. I do I do agree. Okay. This is a bold heading. Karate shop your comforter.
Starting point is 00:19:44 That's what it says. Go on. To get that perfect even oh yes. I do like to do that. Yeah. The comforter at the top. I don't really have one of these. What do you think a comforter is? Oh, okay. I think it's the thing that's like, it's like a thick, uh, pillowy blanket that goes on top of your dovee.
Starting point is 00:19:58 But why are you putting it at the top, why you're pillows? Oh, I'm, I call the top of the bottom. No. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:20:04 You call the top of your bed. The end of the bed. Well, just did that. Where his head is now. I just didn't. I just didn't. I just didn't.
Starting point is 00:20:11 Yeah. Maybe it's because I've turned him round. Oh my God. No, it can't be because I don't, I don't ever. I can't because I'm not well. I can't.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Why have I done that? No, because that would imply that I'm like, I'll just get into the bottom of my bed. Put into the bottom of your bed and you call the pillow end. The pillow is the bottom of the bed. But that must be because I just said it there. Yeah, you did. Because that's what you said his head is now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:34 How long has his head been down there? Since you've moved in together. Five years. Five years. Five years. That's the top. That's the top because that's where he lives. That's where he lives.
Starting point is 00:20:43 So I'm putting it at the bottom of the bed. So you put a comfort on his head. I put a comfort on his head. but you spread so you spread it out. And just for anybody, I say a comforter is a very American expression, but it means in this case any blanket, either down or a blanket or anything that I would say, even if you've gone for pure white sheets,
Starting point is 00:20:58 there's something very like, ooh. Yeah. God, I'm a single woman in the city. You know, even if you live with a partner and whoever you are, there's something very like this. But have a good idea down? Yes. Don't you think?
Starting point is 00:21:11 Single in the city and I'm having an idder down. They're at the top. You're all. I've just got an issue with the perspective. Okay. When I first put a blanket on the end, and I did the karate chop, and then I got a slightly different colour of the underside of the blanket
Starting point is 00:21:44 and made that thing. I thought, I'm Carrie Bradshaw. No, it is very nice. This is it. I made it. No matter how badly you've done the rest of it, the karate chopped. No, I think it definitely elevates your bed sleep kites.
Starting point is 00:21:54 But don't you think comforter makes you be like, yes, a professional? The only one in the city was just so specific and not quite wise. To me, it's actually like domestic bliss, domestic goddess sort of woman who's like, she's got the dress pillows. Is that what we call them? Yeah, could be. I've never heard. Sort of like pillows you don't sleep. Yeah. Show pillows.
Starting point is 00:22:14 They have like so many pillows and then why do they put them on the floor? That's disgusting. I say. And then I guess you put them back on. So that means when they're sleeping in the bed, these people that I'm thinking of, they're just surrounded by detritus. There's tritis everywhere. It's wild. I am also got to tritous, but it's all things like mugs and like shit.
Starting point is 00:22:36 There is something, I find the show pillars and this is somebody who loves a show item, but like I really don't like. It's coming from somebody who loves a show item. Sometimes. You do. No, no, you do love a show item. It's just funny. Okay, if I had guests.
Starting point is 00:22:47 You'd get, yeah, you put out a bowl of lemons as a show item. And then, but if I had them to the, and made their bed, show towel, at an angle, crisp and square. If I can, flannel into a swan. A chocolate. Wow, out of the swan's beak. Loose. Just melting all over the place. No, I can't, yeah, yeah, enter this one or like a lint, ideally.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Very nice, very nice, a lint ball. And from my collection in the larder, which I call tiny larder, or my miniature things. So I collect miniature bottles and miniature jams. And you put them in the mini larder? No, they're in the normal. A big larder. They're in the big larder. To make the big, to make the lardle look bigger.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Yes. They're in a small section of the larder, called the miniature larder. which was a compromise with my living lover vis-a-vis the sheer volume of miniature thing and a small section of the larder was designated to be the miniature larder wow well that's actually another tip here I've always put show jam on the bottom or top of the bed
Starting point is 00:23:44 one of the things that I thought was quite cool is that so I'm now going back into the thing so this is the sort of finishing touches that will make your bedroom that's where we're ready for yeah we've obviously nailed down the everything's under control yeah Cozy robes, the very best slippers in a soft throw. Okay, but pillow mists, things like that.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Take yourself to John Lewis on a day off and go to the fabric bit, go to the sheets bit and touch all, touch it. Hang on, hang on. Go to where they sell bedding, touch it and buy it. No, okay, so a big long line of them is hanging like curtains. I think I thought they were curtains, so I didn't touch it. Probably. And some of them are.
Starting point is 00:24:27 So just, but when you get to sheets, there is a whole set of them for exactly this. So they're out. And so you can feel what like Egyptian cotton feels like. And it's like, oh, okay, I don't actually like. Because you might think, a hundred and thousand thread count, that's the best thing. And then when you touch it, you're like, oh, I actually don't like that. So it's good to go and like feel all those things. Don't buy it.
Starting point is 00:24:45 But then you're like, no, this is what I'm looking out for in the sales, whatever. And then also, to return to Toy Story 1. Thank God. And thank God. There's a bit. And I think I've brought this up before, but it really stuck with me. the army soldiers are like reporting back on the walkie-talkie and about what presents they're all getting
Starting point is 00:25:04 and he's going Mr. Potato Head, Mr. Potato Head. And then they go, we got, we got, it's bedsheets. And then they go, what? Bedsheets, who invited that kid? Actually, bedsheets are a wonderful gift. Wonderful gift. And so actually maybe you're in a part of your life where you're like, could I actually have some lovely, lovely linens? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:20 That would be so nice for me. Lovely linens. So I don't have to live in these rags. Well, look, I think we're ready to be professional bedmakers. couldn't be more ready. I wasn't expecting it to be such a raucous. I wasn't expecting there to be so many reveals about the bed situation from both of us actually. I thought I was a fairly, because because my actual hydrogen is absolutely appalling because I obviously don't change my sheets ever. But like the, in terms of like my bed normally just looks fine, but it's actually
Starting point is 00:25:48 the perspective, it's the bed in my mind that's broken. How I view a duvet is all off. Yeah, there's a A lot going on there for you. A lot going on there. Yeah, yeah. Have you got two duvets or just the one? In terms of actual dove, I've got one. And then I've got like three sets. For you and your partner sleeping,
Starting point is 00:26:06 whether if you both are like the same duvet, it can be like to be have two different ones. Well, my mum and dad have different, my dad likes a lighter duve. My mum loves a heavier duve. I think that's the way around. They have it. And they have half and half like a pizza.
Starting point is 00:26:19 How lovely. Half is heavier, half is lighter. But then my mum started to not actually want it to be as heaviest. Then they turned it off. Horizontals now they have heavy on their bodies, heavy on their bodies, light on their feet. And who could say where some of your duvet issues come from? We will simply never know. That's very interesting.
Starting point is 00:26:38 That's very interesting. What a lot to unpack. Yeah, so much to unpack. Well, good luck to everyone. Good luck to everyone. I'm sure we learned a lot about us mainly. I'm excited to try some of the techniques. I'm going to mist my sheets.
Starting point is 00:26:51 I'm going to be sitting on sodden sheets now, aren't I? For me, I think I might go home And I might start completely afresh with our pillows Because we're just two people With like just carrying pillows with us from place to place I think I've had the pillow since I was born Yeah, I might have a new pillow And each night we both say
Starting point is 00:27:12 Where's the good pillow And we look in our big pillows everywhere on the floor And then there's like five pillows And then we both choose our And then the other three are rejected Yeah And so there's one really flat one Oh
Starting point is 00:27:24 He's called rat And he talks like this. Okay. I'm glad you said that actually. I'm glad you had to bring it out. I'm glad you added that. He's this horrible like, like, you want to bite. You want to bite?
Starting point is 00:27:43 He's going to sell your stuff. He's a lot. He sells you stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a guy who knows, he knows a man. You know, he knows. And he honestly God, you try and put a duvet cover on him and he like kicks it off. And he'll be like, I'm rags.
Starting point is 00:28:00 We're just sliding that under the Indiana Jones store at the end there. Yeah, lovely. Getting rags in. Anyway, so I think maybe it's time for us just to have four normal matching pillows. You've got to let, and to be like, we like the pillows. So there isn't this like, where are the good ones? Why am I being like, that's a good pillow at this time, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Okay. Okay, wow. Okay, wow. Wow, wow you are. Thank you. And you got any tips? Do write in. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:28:26 I'm happy for you not to. You know what? That's not. You know what? You go with God. Have a nice sleep. Bye everybody. Goodbye and good night.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Was a kiss for the sleep? No, I know. I know.

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