Nobody Panic - How to Make a Choice

Episode Date: July 3, 2018

Paralysed by decisions? Stevie and Tessa get help from experts to work out how they can make big choices without using a Magic 8 Ball again.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to Nobody Papp. Again, it's more, more of the same. It will never stop.

This week we're talking about how to make a choice. Do you take the red pill or the blue pill? For example. Tess has got a bag that says page on it. I don't know what it is. It was a free tote bag. It's great. I thought it was a cool L.A. brand.

Could be. Great. Certainly could be. Or a girl's name. Tweet us. If your page, if your name is page and you want a bag, hit me up. Yeah, she's literally got your bag. Stole your bag. Tell your bag. Yes, choice.

Decisions. Are you good at making decisions? Absolutely not. I always think you're going to say absolutely. Absolutely. Also, I met this nice girl the other day who said, do you know that you say, yes, please? Constantly on the thing. And I was like, no, I don't.

And then I listen back to one. I was like, oh, no. That and, I know, right? Do I? Yes. It's fine. Absolutely. I say, I say things all, I always say, I don't even notice, all big old dicks.

You've never said. You've never said that. Can't stop it's so nice. Yeah. We were actually, right before we went live, we said, let's stop. I go, let's kick this in the dick. And then we thought it was too rude. And we had to stop.

Immediately, we'll just see on our analytics. Everybody has switched on. It's not for us. Oh, those girls have taken a turn. No, Steve me messaged me and said, he's the choices of, of the podcast topic, one of which was how to make a choice. And I was literally so overwhelmed even reading the list. I was like, well, it has to be how to make a choice.

Yeah. Because I'm so bad at it. I can't do it with the tiniest thing. I couldn't choose a pen. If someone was offered me different types of pen, I'd have to test them both out. Right. See which one was nicer. I couldn't choose in a menu.

Oh, food, yeah. Do you do the thing where you just look at what someone else is ordered and you're like, I guess that? Yeah, I want to see everything. Yeah. I want them to bring a full sample of everything. Then I'll make my choice. Then you'd be too full. And then I'll be a disappointment.

Or, you know, food envy as soon as someone else's meal has arrived, that stresses me right out. Sometimes I turn on Netflix and then I have to leave again. Oh, I find Netflix really upsetting. And everyone always says things like, oh, there's nothing on. But I think there's so much that you could watch that you're just going, well, maybe there's something better. Maybe there's something better.

And then you go to the end and you're like, I've forgotten what the thing was that I was looking to see if it was better of. Well, we are officially, yeah, exactly. You come back around again. Yeah. Yeah. We are officially a generation that has more choice in every area of our lives than any other preceding generation.

That makes sense. So there used to be those programs on TV, like the top 100 adverts or the top 100 shows or whatever. Because my mum used to watch them and be like, they're just naming all the adverts. We only had 100 adverts. So they're just... My parents said that. Yeah.

She was like, that Hovis advert, yeah, that was all that was on the telly. There was only three channels. Only one was in colour. So you all just had to watch that. There was no option of choice. So it was like the options were just do or don't watch this. And so there's something very freeing about that. And then Netflix,

if someone hasn't recommended it to me, to my face, there's no way I would just pick something. Too much. Too much. Overwhelming. Totally inertia. Because you're so crippled by wanting to get it right. I have a different issue with decision making.

I'm a bit too impulsive, I think. So I don't, not in like a particularly, debilitating way, but I dislike having to sit with a choice. Like, I've got a friend who really researches every possible option for everything. And I see her, I find that exhausting and also not fun. And also, I kind of know in the back of my mind that there's often not a right and a wrong. There's often just, well, I've chosen that once that's how my life is. Do you know what I mean? Rather than, I think it's very rare that you go, oh, wow, I definitely made the worst choice. Oh, the worst choice. And then like out of the two. I think it's yeah because normally you just like so say if you

decide to leave your job you might have a day of being like oh god was this the right decision but then you'll get another job and then you'd be like you suddenly are not even thinking about whether that was the right. Your life just keeps moving on so I kind of really don't like getting myself into this spiral of worrying about what choice to make so I just pick one and then I think that's probably that's extremely healthy and sensible and we're something we're going to deep dive into further great from barry Schwartz's book the paradox of choice oh my god is the idea of that the choice you made was the right choice because that's the one that got made.

That's such an amazing thing. And if you have many things to choose and you're like, well, this one is good enough. Good enough is good enough. Yeah. You know, you don't have to have had the perfect one. And what's the most adult thing that you've done this week?

We're just going to drink some water so it's going to sound like two fish talking. My adult thing, as some of you know, I've just been in Los Angeles, Stevie. I mean, I can't even. I can't even. I've had an absolutely lovely time. She looks like a radiant goddess.

I don't, but I do feel, I cannot underestimate. The last time I saw you, you were genuinely ill. Extremely sick. Really sick, and then you've come back and it's like a before and after of like someone's made over your insides. Yeah, well, that is how I feel like they just have such a brilliant attitude to wellness. Yeah. Out there and you just drink a lot of juice and they go hiking and there's so much sun and, oh, yish, I feel really well. But my adult thing is sort of related to the podcast because my very first night in L.A.

I was staying in a hostel and I was laying on my bed completely jet-lacked and confused. And you know, sometimes I had a really, really busy week leading up to flying. They'd just been like, go, there was no time to stop. And I was terrified on the plane that was going to get deported. And, you know, you're nervous about getting your documents in the right place. And you're nervous about all those things. And suddenly you get to your place. There's no more hurdles to jump through.

And then I had a real like, what am I doing? Like, why am I here? Why have I, why have I, it's cost me so much money. Like, why have I come here? I don't know anybody. I'm here for, you know, 10 days all by myself. And I really felt totally overwhelmed. Yeah.

That I was here. And then I had to think back to the podcast that we've made in the past about traveling by yourself or moving to a new city. And what I really thought about, guys, was the amount of people, the amount of you who have emailed into us to say, I'm traveling on my own or I'm on my gap here or I've just moved to a new city or, and, you know, this is what I've done and how brave I was. And thank you so much for saying. And I really thought about you guys.

I thought about you guys. And I was like, okay. No, you know, like the fun isn't going to happen in your hotel room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to go out, get out there on the, get out there and find it. Find a yoga class on the roof. Go and find a yoga class on the roof. And I did.

Anyways, I've had an absolutely lovely time. But thank you all for all your lovely messages that you didn't know were going to be supportive. But they were. That's so adult. Yeah. What's your adult thing? My adult thing, I thought I didn't have one, but I do. I was asked to do one of those panel things, which I think,

automatically is an adult thing because I ain't seen no babies on there am I right and it was about podcasting and it was with Emma Gannon but the exciting thing also was it was at the BFI which is I go there all the time to watch films and it was full and I had a lovely time and said very like I thought you know very adult things and then at the end found out that I had lipstick all over my chin

the entire time. Fantastic. And there's also a professional photographer taking photos all the way through so I cannot wait to see those photos because I have a red chin. So it was sort of like a mixture of adult and not adult. A nice reminder that it doesn't matter if you've been asked to go on a panel. You're still exactly the same. Decision making. Let's deep dive into it.

I was looking at issues around making decisions and the things you can sort of think about if you have to make them. Because I think a part of it, it comes from that assertiveness thing that we always talk about, which is like feeling like you are good enough to make that decision. Like, I am able to make any decision I want. So are you. But often you feel like, I bet I'm going to make the wrong one. And that's not true at all.

So we just have to be, firstly, be confident that if you're faced with a decision, let's use the job thing as an example, because it's probably the most relatable one of like, I need to change jobs or I need to go freelance or I need to stop going freelance and get a job. That can be really frightening. And that can drag on for like years. And then you wake up and you're like, I thought I wanted to leave two years ago and I still haven't done it. The only person who can make that decision is you and you are the best qualified person in the world

to make that decision for yourself, if that makes sense. I think we are, we so hate doing it because we can't deal with the fallout afterwards and we just want other people to take control. Always. We're like, please, please, please, you say and it's so much easier, you know. The worst is when you make a choice.

I made a T-shirt for my sister Gina who was on our podcast a few weeks ago because after a weekend of, absolute hell thinking she changed the law on upskirting you've definitely seen her on the news she's been on every single news channel um on friday she thought she had then it got blocked by an mp which was also all over news and then she was been devastated and then she found that today that the government are backing it is being pushed through and it's actually going to happen so i made her um a t-shirt with like some fun stuff on it that she should have by now so i shouldn't be spoilering it and right

when i pressed send um my boyfriend was like oh did you put hashtag stop skirting the issue which was her tag on it and I was like no I did it I was like furious because suddenly it's like of course you should have done it because you like even you didn't even know about it would be like so much better than I would be and it's like that's why the impulsive thing I think because I'm just like I don't want to get it wrong I just well I just sort of did it really quickly so you know that's why yeah and yeah it's the worst it's the worst and I think you'd have to be like and no I haven't goodbye goodbye and if you dwell on things you know all like weird things that you did as a teenager or once I didn't kiss a boy at a party.

I've been there. And for a long time I was like, I was always like, why didn't I kiss him? I was like, well, because at the time I didn't want to. So I had to trust whoever that person was who didn't want to do it at the time. That's a very good way of thinking about it. I think you could look back,

especially as you progress through your 20s, there becomes more chance of looking back and going, why didn't I realize, for example, I wanted to be a lawyer sooner and then look at all these cool, hot-shut lawyers, and now I'm like a bit older than all of them, or why didn't I realize I wanted to go to university at 18 and now I'm going at 20, for example.

And actually it's fine because at 18, you didn't want to do that. Exactly, you just have to listen to that person that you used to be and be like, they made that choice and you have to be like, that's a cool, cool choice, me in the past. Yeah, when we went to spread my grandma's ashes in Canada in a trip that my dad had organized. And so my dad's Canadian and it was all very much like,

we were going to all these places and it was all like obviously a very like emotional yet fun. True, it sounds like a right laugh. It was a right laugh and it was just loads of family members and we were all on a camper van and like my dad was all in charge of it. And I said to my mum that wherever we end up, wherever the restaurant is,

wherever the hotel is, wherever we're sleeping, wherever we end up, you just say, well, lovely. Well, we're here now. Well, we're here now. Yes. Because I knew that, you know, my dad would look to my mum to be like, you know, what do you think of this place and just lovely, lovely. And then everyone, you just can see my dad be like,

oh, you know, I made a good choice here. Like, this is a great hotel. The only time I think you can never really tutter your partner for making a bad choice is if you're on, like, who wants to be a millionaire together and... They crash out like £200. They crash out £200. But even then they did their best.

They didn't mean to. I'd be furious. I'd be furious if it was something they should have known the answer to. Yeah. So one of the things that I read, which I thought was helpful, is when you're trying to make a decision, always base your decisions on co-finding. Currently available information, not what you think might happen.

Don't try and predict stuff. So to put the example of the job in there, should I leave my job or should I stay? Well, I like the people that I work with. What if this new job, I don't like those people? What if, oh, it's a bigger company, I might get lost. So actually, I should probably stay in this small company because you don't know that. Like, are you happy in your job? No, then you need to leave.

Like, that's the current information that you know. Is that other job, a step up? yes or no if it is then that's a positive move you know yeah so like rather than saying what if if what if write down all the things that you absolutely know and then make the decision based on that because nine times out of ten that will be the right in quotation marks massive quotation marks decisions for you at the time yes sometimes you know when you make a really like instinctive you stop something moving or you grab something that you wasn't a choice it was a split second fast decision and they happen instinctively and you're like I didn't make the choice to grab that glass or

stand in the way of this baby falling or you know stand in the way of a baby falling just let it fall on you or anything I can't even like a non-emergency based one or I think a lot of them are emergency yes because they're just your body just your brain just kicks in yes and circumvents any thought any thought so and sometimes you're and then you sort of catch up to consciousness a second later and you're like oh spider man pretty good actually pretty good stuff there and so Sometimes that's you at your most base level, just behaving like an animal, which feels very like freeing and powerful. And then on top of all of those instincts, then you have this thing called the orbital frontal cortex, which is where all your emotions and things happen and decision making. And if that is ever damaged in an accident, people can totally lose their ability to make decisions.

They're like completely ceased to be able to do it. And so that thing is just full of emotions and full of all this like, you know, it's a control room trying to make choices. and what it's doing is doing loads of this like but what if I don't like the job at the other place what if I don't have any friends what if I what if what if what if what if because it's trying to fill in those gaps in data that it doesn't have yeah so it's being like it doesn't like to be it doesn't like the worst possible case scenario

and so you've got to do it you know exactly what you're saying like what actual information do I have yeah cut through all the noise cut through that noise your brain is just making like shit noises all the time about everything like I'm hungry but am I like I don't need to know that now like I actually hunger is something that you should listen. You should probably listen to that one. Probs.

And the other thing I found helpful is even if it feels like the most final decision in the whole world, it isn't and you can always change it later on down the line. And I think that goes hand in hand with something. A friend of mine said to me once that always like stuck in my brain and I always think about when I'm making a choice is that as long as you're moving forward, that's okay. You should never be stood still because if you're stood still, then what's the point of living? Like if you're having the best time of your life Sounds still for a bit

Absolutely fine Talking about big things And so if you had a face with a choice And you really don't know which one to go for And you feel like there isn't a right choice Pick one because that will move you forward And even if for a second you're like I don't think that was the right one

It was because you made it And also because it's different from what you were doing before And you can always change it Like nothing is irreparable You can always go back around Apart from murder Don't do any murders

If your choices do I do or not do this murder Don't do the murder, guys. I'd say don't do the murder, yeah. We are very helpful. I, or hashtag. Yes. Hashtag yes. I once saw on a poster on a boy's wall, inertia is your enemy.

Yeah, he sounds like he sounds very tiresome, but I do really agree with it. Yeah. I left the room immediately. My boyfriend got really into motivational quotes on the walls, and I was like, and I've got a favorite one. It's a Walt Whitman quote from a poem. and leaves of grass. Do I contradict myself?

Very well, I contradict myself. I'm large and I contain multitudes, which I think is a nice quote because it means that sometimes if you don't understand yourself or why you've done something, it's fine because you're a human and you're allowed to make mistakes and you're allowed to be one thing

and then three months later be like, I would never do that. Let's get Oprah Winfrey involved. I think it would be churlish not to this point. Goodness it, you've got to. It's been too long. I don't think of any of you have been on Oprah.com, but it's an adventure playground.

So this comes to you directly from the Oprah goddess Winfrey. So the goddess Oprah Winfrey. There were these seven steps that she identifies. And number one is about identifying your goal. It's from decisions, decisions, the art of effective decision making. It's about identifying your goal

and make sure you're making your choice for the right reason. And so if it's about moving your job, is it do I really want a different career or do I just want a different boss? And so don't make a decision based on the wrong problem. So really identify that problem? Yeah.

And so is it, do I want to make a step up in my career and do I want these things? Or have I just had too much? Is it just, do I not want to be in this space anymore? That's interesting. Yeah, because often you will go like, oh, it's this. And then you actually dig a little bit deeper and you realize I wanted to change my job. And then I realized what I wanted to go freelance. It wasn't the job that I didn't like.

I actually really liked the job. I just wanted to have more freedom to do the other stuff that I wanted to do. I think even with like trying to choose like colors of paint for your wall, Yeah. It's like, is this a color that I love or... Did Instagram tell me? Or did Instagram tell me? Or did this other color?

Did somebody once say that was boring? Yeah, that's interesting. Have I now internalized... What are my actual emotions? How do I actually feel? Interior is actually something that I find incredibly stressful for that reason because I'm like, I'm only picking this because I saw a cool person on Instagram do it,

but like I don't have any opinions on it. No. That's how I feel about my lack of taste. Yeah. And then I feel very strongly about this Walt Whitman quote, I am multitudes, being like, yes, this is what I've done. And when I, you know, sometimes I'm wearing something that I'm like, oh, everyone will tease me. And then if you're, I've been like, this is what I'm wearing.

Everyone's like, it certainly seems that way, yes. You wore that pink ski suit. And you wore it with like such like, hello. You said that you wore a top over it. So it was like, they just thought I had big pink trousers on. That also looked mad. But like, you looked so confident. You can get away with anything.

and, you know, just be like, yeah, this is what I like. I like my walls this color. This is what I like my bed. This is, you know. Yeah, like what's the best thing for you, I think is such. No, nothing. Just in this epitally blonde, the film, she says at one point to one of the like, Delta New Girl, somebody says, are you sure?

And she says, as sure as I am that no one should wear Paisley. And I just like, age 12 was like, okay, no one should ever wear Paisley. What is Paisley is that? No, I was like, when you're 12, you're like, great, what's Paisley? What's Paisley? And never wear it. And you're just like, okay, these are the rules. Be like, who cares?

Where Paisley? And also that film's all about a woman just making choices purely because she thinks what a man would do. Turns out it was the right choice because she meets another man who was there and so her life is better for doing law. Is that right or does he sexually assault her? A man sexually assault.

He doesn't assault. She doesn't end up with a man who sexually assault her, right? No, he doesn't. She ends up with someone else. It's about making a good choice for the wrong reason at the beginning because she goes to the law school just to follow him. But once she's there, she discovers that actually she's an amazing lawyer, and then she makes a series of great choices for the right reason. Yes. That's a great

analogy for the thing of like, that is the choice that she made. So then it turned out fine because I mean, it's a film and that's just like, I think. People, you know, move to different cities and, you know, follow boyfriends and girlfriends and girlfriends around the world and, you know, make choices for other people and do all kinds of things. Which is fine. In retrospect, you might think, like, I did this thing for a weird reason. But now I'm here. turns out this was meant to be I've made a life this is what I was always supposed to do you know yeah um another thing is about um maybe um do that thing where you ask people but actually do listen to their answers because when i'm trying to make a decision i ask people they might as well

not said anything because i'll just always go with the one that i wanted them to say anyway so if they say the opposite i'll get furious from them yeah well obviously not that and they're like why did you ask me i think if you're really stuck speaking to people around you they might have have an opinion that you didn't think and then it might help often you will as well very deep down I think we always know what the decision that is best for us is use those people as a sounding board just to get all your all your ideas out there and present all the information and and then and then what you've done there is got all that information out of your brain that you're trying to deal with and you put it out on the table for somebody else but then be that's the process

of talking somebody about it not really them not really their opinion not And if someone has come to you for advice, you know, just let them talk it out and ask, you know, continue to pry out the questions out of them rather than being like, do this. Do this, mate. Yes, that is so true. You're right. I go back on what I said that. It's actually not the other person's opinion, is it?

Often, if it's something like really simple, like I'll be like, I don't know whether to go to this thing or this thing. I will walk around the flat just talking about it for hours and then doesn't matter what Anyone who happens to be in the flat says, I will make the decision based on, like, at the moment you say it aloud, you're like, oh, it's obvious. It's obvious.

Or it's a bit more obvious than it was before. Yeah. Or even in a restaurant sometimes I'll say, you know, I don't know what to do. And then someone say, well, what are you? Rather than, I don't need someone to say, have the burger. I need someone to say, well, what are you choosing between

and me to say, the burger and this? And then them to say, well, are you hung up on that because you think it's got avocado in it. And you're too focused on that. And me to say, yes, thank you, I am. Thank you for opening. my eyes there. Yeah.

Want somebody. Yeah, this is true. That is true. Also with like relationship things as well, you ask your friend who you know is going to be like, oh, leave him because you want to hear that. Yes. So be aware of the person that you've asked for help. And if you are lucky enough to be somebody that people have come to for advice,

be aware of your. Abuse that power. Abuse that power. And ruin people's day. My next one on here about is about trying to eliminate choices by, setting standards and I do terribly when choosing something like a digital camera for example is their example and they say is this written a while ago I think you could buy a penny farther a digital camera and being like which one can you carry easiest in the suitcase um for example I own so many

items of clothing that have like a bow on them or a fun a fun lining or a tiny button you do like a fun detail yeah a fun detail I'm an idiot for a fun detail and then are you really have to try to eliminate those fun details and A say to yourself, could I sew a bow on something else? Could I perhaps put this elephant button on another coat that was better? Right. Because constantly people are like, why are you wearing that? And I'm like, look at this. And they're like, that tiny detail does not justify how unwaterproof that item is or however use of that is. So try and eliminate the tiny fancy details and just get serious with the basics. And for example, with a digital camera or someone selling you something in the shop, there's a lot of, well, it's got a memory card and you

can use it underwater and you can do this and you're like oh the big cell and then really if you think to yourself like will i ever use this camera underwater yeah will i will i ever do that yeah no you know and the answer is no you won't so don't try and um you know and everybody has something in their life that they constantly justify to other people by being or like um i own a pair of trousers i own a pair of trousers that has a bottle opener on the belt really yes really wow they're like they're outdoor trousers are they nice trousers no No, they're not. I 100% bought them because,

from the range of trousers in the shop, because they had a bottle opener on them, on them. Which is useful, but you're never going to be wearing those trousers when someone says, oh, does anyone have a bottle opener? No, it's never, I've been there for years. Yeah. And no one's ever offered, no one's ever asked. I don't drink beer, so it's completely,

I've never used it for myself. That's excellent. And then I even, my mum was like, you have to get new ones of those. They're absolutely dreadful. I was like, but the bottle opener. And then she just, like, popped it off the belt loop. And then she was like, there you go. put them on another pair and I was like oh god my life is a lie oh god so don't let yourself get clouded

in the judgment process yeah and that also is uh works for bigger things if you're making decisions about your life that it's like well that might be fancier and look better but will i be as happy or will i really focus on like the happiness and the important part of that decision rather than like the proverbial bottle opener yes because so often even in two jobs the bottle o'clock and first and foremost, you know, or you're like, oh, this job, you leave early on a Friday, or like this job has free pizza at lunch or something.

That sounds great, go for that job. And that's, obviously take that one. But maybe if you actually wrote down all the pros and cons, yeah, don't let yourself get down the bottle hole, rabbit hole. Also, I'd say, another tip, use a magic eight ball. What? Yes. I do love them. They are great.

Don't use that. You're busy doing what I sometimes do, which is just going, ah, that one. emotional decision-making part of your brain, that frontal cortex bit, that try not to make decisions. Obviously, if you have to make an on-the-spot decision about your menu or your food or anything. And actually, I think about this a lot every time the tube is down or buses are down or anything big has happened and, you know, people are deciding how to get out of a situation. Oh, yeah. I think like, this is what's going to happen in the apocalypse and you just have to make a choice about how to get out and then you have to just stick to that choice.

Yeah. But otherwise you will spend the whole time. running around the same place. Running around endlessly, in a certain and be like, it's 45 minutes later and I've moved 20 feet down the road. I've achieved nothing here. Just make your choice, stick to it. And once it's done, you're in now, this is what we're doing.

We're here now, lovely. And then just, you know, crack on and stop beating yourself up about should I have taken the bus? Or should I have done this? We're here now. That isn't it lovely? I think is a really great phrase to use in all aspects of decision making. Well, we're here now. We're here now.

So let's make the best of it. And it just makes people, the room immediately calm. everyone else you're with that you've set the bar there. Oh yeah, because there's nothing worse. You know, when like you've gone for drinks and then some people are like, should we go on to the next place? And then there's a discussion about where that next place is.

Someone who's very assertive and great makes a decision. You go there and then everyone just complains about it. Like, oh, well, this is busy. Oh, well, we could have gone to the other. You're like, what we could be doing is having fun in this busy place. Otherwise, this evening is 90% choice admin followed by choice post match analysis. That's a great way of putting it.

Instead of just getting on with the evening. Yeah, we don't need any choice post-match analysis. We don't need that. Surely it would be, sorry, it was amazing, but post-choice analysis. Sure, sure, sure. Otherwise, then it's choice and then you're just talking about a match. Absolutely, this word choice, then new word. New word.

A new separate issue. Anyway, so if it's a bigger thing than that, if you've been offered something big and you are making a much bigger choice than where to go this evening, do not make one in a bad mood under a lot of, stress or overtired because those are times when that control room in your brain is just shutting down yeah so really take a break go for a long walk go do some meditation do all the you know classic sort of self-care things that sleep on it thing is a is a really genuine thing it's let your unconscious mind have some time in that control room to really think things through

table a meeting with all the top heads in the control room so that they can all discuss yeah table a meeting and like let's everybody have a prepare and everyone come and pitch their reasons here We're talking about the little men in our brain, by the way. Guys, that's, yeah, they're tabling amazing. Sadly, full of men. Like, what a shame. Even my brain is 100% men.

It's insidious and there's nothing to be done. I remember at school when I was, and possibly there's something that some of you were going through about having to make choices about UCAS or where to. Well, it'd be university. Yeah, universities out. Oh, like you're, you've graduated and you don't know what to do with your life. Yeah.

But even, you know, GCS, what should do with your GCSs? What do you for your A levels? Because this is the first time suddenly these massive choices are being put on you that possibly influence. the rest of your life firstly no they don't no they they I've forgotten what I did yeah and even if you are want to be a doctor and you're like I have to have science and I have to have this a level or whatever those are still things you can do again you can do those a level as an external candidate like you that process is not

closed for you and I remember during UCAS having this real like what should I go and study as a degree and somebody said why can you just defer it and choose next year go through this process next year and I remember being like oh my God yes thank God, yes please, what a brilliant, brilliant idea. And then I sort of, and that was such an immediate moment of relief and like, what a brilliant, brilliant choice that is. And then went for a walk, like, slept on it the next day I was like, I'm an idiot. Then I'll go through this process in the future when I'm away and, you know, when I don't

want to be doing this, I should do it. Just get through it right now. And so don't always listen to the choice. If you have that immediate like, oh my God, yes. Be wary of it in case it's just, is that the easiest route in the short term. Yeah, you just relieve. don't have to do a thing now. Right now, you know?

Yeah. So are you just putting something off? If something isn't time specific, I still, my brain still treats it like it is. So if I have to make a choice and I have to send someone an email, a reply about something,

I could wait a night and send it back the next day, but I don't. I'm like, no, get this stuff because I can't cope with the idea of like having to think about it anymore. Be like halfway between me and Tessa. Think about it a bit, but don't let it consume you,

because you will make the best decision. And if you don't, it's not the end of the world. The stakes are never as high as you think they are. As with many things, find that middle ground between me and Stevie. Yes. Whichever River Pocahontas would have chosen, she would have made a wonderful life. Would have made a world?

Shall I marry Cocoaum? Shall I take the smoothest course. Steady as the beating drum. Should I marry Cocoaum is all my dreaming at an end? Or do you still wait for me, dreamgiver Just around the river Bend I did not know I knew that amount of lyrics

I didn't know anything about from shall I marry a cocoa one That is the key part of the song So fair enough And unfortunately in real life She did dive syphilis In the real life she made the wrong choice That was a bad choice Do not get on the boat with the colonial white men

And return to England where you die We had this cool idea where we wanted to save fun quotes in the style of Grandmother Willow because she is our constant sounding board, source of wisdom. She's the woman in the tree in Pocahontas. Yeah. And when she talks all the wind, she has wind and lots of wind happens. And she's just very wise. And we wanted to have Grandmother Willow Corner each episode of Nobody Panic,

where one of us says a really wise quote. However, apart from the fact that we haven't done it yet, today, Desa's sprung in on me, and I tried to find a choice quote, but they're all quite aggressive and not helpful. Hey, you know what you should do? Make a choice. Oh my God, make a choice. And whatever it will be will be good enough, except if it's really bad, and then I'll tell you. I'm going to make a choice. Okay, here we go. I made a choice. Way to go, Stevie.

This is Grandmother Willow. Maybe if I edit it, I will have made some sort of musical sting. If not, sorry. Well, you do it with your voice. It doesn't matter. Sorry, sorry. I made a choice. Sorry, yes, you have. You made a choice.

It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. Oh dear, that sounds like, yeah, sounds sexual. Yeah. It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. Commit. What matters most is getting off. Okay, I've made up. What?

That can't be right. I hadn't read it before I'd. Yeah. What matters most is getting off? You cannot make progress without making decisions. I wish they'd got rid of the fence stuff and just said that. So maybe it's like... If you have a way.

It doesn't... It doesn't matter which side of the riverbank. You end up on... You dock your canoe. There's probably something fun on either side of the river. Yes. Yes, there's stuff there. The point is you're not on the river.

The point is you're not on the river anymore. I mean, that was a bizarrely worded quote. But look, I made a choice. You know what I'm going to say? It was mad. Absolutely lovely. Well, we're here now. We've come to the end.

I would be dreadful in an apocalypse. That's why you're not on my team and I'm so sorry to say it. That's so sad. I don't think you're on mine either. No, and I accept that. We would. We would respectfully go our separate ways. Yes, we would.

If the apocalypse happened now, I'd wish you all the best. We wish you. And both of us would quietly in our head stink, but I won't be seeing her again. She's not going to make it out. Imagine if we did. Yeah, but I do think we would both, without a moment's hesitation, acknowledge that both of us needed to go in different directions. And that's fine, because that is the choice we've made.

So I really enjoyed that episode. Just also wanted to do a quick shout out to our lovely friends at Pulsin brownies who sent us some brownies, salted caramel. Correct the word of us, thank you, Stevie. Sorry, they sent me. You were away, that was why. Yeah, and you ate them? Yeah, I did.

because they were so delicious. Salted caramel, vegan, gluten-free, they're raw chocolate, so they're not like too bad for you. And they're absolutely delicious. So thank you so much. Thank you so much for me. Tweet us at Nobody PanicPod. Email us, Nobody Panicpodcast at gmail.com.

Also, our personal Twitter is at Stevie M. The S is a 5. That's a choice that she made. It's a choice I made. And I don't regret it. No. Because now I have a slogan. People love it.

At Teser Coats. Nothing to chant. Oh, no regrets. No regrets. And yeah, have a lovely, have a lovely week and just like make choices for you guys. Make choice for you. Own them. And we'll see you next time.

See you next time. With a new episode that we'll be making a choice on. Oh my God. What will it be? I don't know. Nobody knows. Bye!