Nobody Panic - How to Meet a Movie Star with Ed Gamble (Live at Soho Theatre)

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Tessa recently got tongue tied and starstruck in front of a very famous movie star. Ed Gamble was there and so came on the live show to help explain to Tessa how to be cool when coming face to face with someone who may or may not have been Paul Rudd. Stevie will never forgive herself for missing this interaction. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Soho Theatre and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to Nobody Panic. Fresh from Tottenham

Hot Spurs Arena. That's us. We're coming to you live from the Glittering West End in the Nobody Panic Live Soho Theatre and joined by the exquisite guest. Please give it out for Ed Gamble. Mammaia.

Ed. It's nice, isn't it? Yeah, that was nice. It's nice. That felt good. Please tell everybody where you've been just now. I'm fresh from the One Show. Could you tell us what the experience was like? Oh, it was huge.

I mean, it's the typical one show lineup of people who should never be in a room together. Me, James Acaster, that makes sense. Judy Murray, Andy Murray's mum, Johannes Radebe from Strictly, and then Alex Jones and Jermaine Gina's hosting. A great warm room.

Yeah. Okay, so today, the episode that we're doing is very much based on an experience specifically that Tessa had involving Ed only two weeks ago that it was the only time Tessa was ever early for something, I was late and I missed it.

We're doing how to meet a movie star slash famous person. Actually, you were fine-ish. I think you were fine. You don't think you were, but I think you were. It's also really big. But before we do that, we're going to do the audience as adult things, which is basically we're going to read some out. We're going to start with a lot of positivity, joy,

and sometimes some oddness, considering. So, Ed, to walk you through it at the beginning of every episode, and to anybody who's not heard us before, and we do our most adult thing, which is our most grown-up thing. we've done a bit of character development, something that we've really worked on. The more live shows we do,

the more people who come who have never heard the podcast before and think we want a sex thing written down, which is not what we want. Thank you very much. This is more of the thing we're talking about. Started saving chicken bones for stock. That's it.

That's exactly what we dream. A tiny little picture of what is either a chicken or some stock. It's unclear. Talk to a plumber about valves and tap attached. Yes, please. And then they've written in brackets,

boring. They've lost confidence in their own adult thing. But this one's intriguing. Babysat my friend's kids, two and five years old. Fine, great. And her husband. For a fortnight

while she was away for work after never being the grown-up. You were babysitting her husband. How old was her husband? That's what I want to know about. Men. Carrying around a bag of my boss's designer shoes and I'm yet to be mugged.

Good. Isn't it? carrying a designer bag A bag of my boss's designer shoes What's going on? Why have you got your boss's shoes? I don't know The devil's wearer

A devil wears Prada Stockpiled the little limited edition Italian range presto Oh! Is it good? Okay Oh We'll do like one more from you each And then I'll round it up

In quite scrawly writing As though it was like Okay judgey Carrey broad No no no like a Carrie Bradshaw like, oh, into the diary. Had a one-night stand. Oh, thrilling.

Absolutely. Oh, God. I thought there's going to be more, but... That's it. That's it. That's enough. Came here on my own because 2023 is the date yourself year.

Good for. Fresh from the one-night stand. Can I read two more? Yes, you can read two more. Took my friend to A&E. And then the next one went to A&E. Charity. And they've both done sad faces afterwards.

Ending on a bang. I'm sitting on a high. Take over and I'll get a nice one. I don't have any because I threw them on the floor as a joke. I called VistaPrint to complain that my wedding invitations had been printed glass rather than premium mat. You brought real energy to that, but maybe. I'm so sorry, and that's so right.

And of course they're yours, big day. You must have what you want, but real fun. If I got a gloss wedding invite, I wouldn't go to the wedding. I'm a fucking flyer for a club night. You're completely correct. You are completely correct. But it would be like, oh God, that's... It just slip out your hands.

It's too glossy. It's gone. Oh, fuck. I can see myself in it. Okay, so we're going to do How to Meet a movie star. Please, please can you recount. Yes. I don't know how you'd like to do it, but please recount the other week.

I wasn't there. This feels like that sort of, like, that's a CBS show, I survived. We're like sat in the dark and we like talked to camera about what happened. Do you want to tell it from your perspective? And then you say from your perspective. Okay, so we record the Nobody Panic podcast. in the same office that off-menu record their award-winning and globally successful off-menu.

I said it twice, right? Yes. Yeah, boy. And that's how you get to be award-winning. That name again, off-menu. Anyway, our recording was at 11, and then we got a text being like, can you guys come in a bit later? And we were like, sure.

And it crossed Stevie's mind that there would be somebody famous there. And it really hadn't occurred to me. I was just like, I'll just come in at this time. and I was on time because I set off, I'd already set off when the time had been moved back and that's how you have to get me to arrive on time to something is to cancel it basically and then delay it by an hour and then I'll be bang on time.

Anyway, so I arrive, I part my bicycle, there's a bit of faff with the bicycle because there is a blacked out, like sort of a classy taxi outside. Again, nothing's ringing any bells and I have a bit of a set to with the gentleman in the car. Why? He was parked in the bicycle bit And I saw it was like, are you going to be always there?

And it's not really set to. I politely said, will you be there? And he said, yeah. And I said, that's great. Wild. Absolutely wild trauma. Gang crime in London. Anyway, so.

You've never sound more white. No, I know. Right. So I've discussed the bike. Then the producer's wonderful dog, toast. He's now at the window. And I'm doing a little bit of business with the dog. Okay.

who's that boy? I just said, who's that boy? Yeah, so I'm like, are you having a good day on the podcast and stuff like that? Is this from your outside at this point? Yeah, through the window. So I'm just saying, I've already arrived like a bit.

It's already Cooxville, you know? And then we open the door and as our producer opens the door into the little foyer bit, I'm saying like a little sort of gag about me in toast or whatever, like I'm fresh from the toast stuff. And then he sort of gives me big eyes. He says, Paul Rudd is here.

And then I went, I'll leave. And then he said, no, I think that would be weird. Because he is right there. So he couldn't see me, but he must have known that the doorbell had rang.

There's a woman doing a bit with a dog. It would be wild now. because then Ben would have to come back in and they'd say, who was at the door, and you'd have to be like, to have your over witness or something. At that point, you look like a local character.

Yeah, I look like that. She comes to the window, she tries to get in, we send her on her way, she'll do it again tomorrow. And honestly, I would have preferred that if it's pretty good. But instead, I said what I do,

he says, no, just come in, it's fine. He's so nice, it's so normal, just come in. And what I do is I pick up the dog and I say, you'll protect me, like into the dog's ear. Then I walk into the room and Ed, James Akehister and Paul Rudd stood there

and I'm planning just to cross through while saying, hiya, like that, with the dog, like a woman with a dog. And then they both, both you and James, like, sort of laugh a bit at me. And I keep my stride, don't break stride, I think. He looked like a deity made flesh. Like, he just, like, he was... And me and James looked lovely. Yeah, of course, of course, yeah.

I did say that part of the shock was how incredibly ill they looked. in comparison to Paul Rudd. Anyway, then they say, this is Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd, in the smoothest and sexiest voice you've ever seen, looks directly at me and goes, hey, how's it going? Like, I, and I go, hello, Paul Rod. I sprint, and then I just... Do you just stand in the other bin?

I'm still right there. If you just put around the corner, I'd be right there against the wall, holding the dog. The dog is like, please put me down. I don't want me any part of this anymore. and then when you left everybody had to come and find me and be like how did that go?

And I was like not well at all okay now we see it in a flashback from your perspective. Yeah that's what happened. Great. No, from my perspective we were stood there we're just having a chat, just recorded a podcast and we saw you arrive

I didn't see any of the business with the dog you came into the little vestibule area and Benito went and cut you off at the past he knew exactly what was going to happen because he literally saw you arrive and went, excuse me, and walked to the door, shut the other door behind him. Shut the other door, classy.

So we couldn't hear what you were saying. So classy. And it was like he'd intercepted to someone at the door of a hospital to give them some worrying news. And I saw you going, yeah. Really panic, really panicking at this point. Surprise, panicking.

And then you didn't try and walk through us. You sort of tried to walk through us then went all the way round the other way. And we didn't laugh at you. We said hello Tessa. Yeah. And you went, uh-huh.

And then James said, he didn't say this is Paul Rudd, because that's very important. Yeah, he didn't know. The full name was not used until later. That's absolutely crucial. He went, this is Paul,

and Paul said, hi, I'm Paul. And you said something, the words to the effect of, yes, I know, Paul Rudd. Don't know if you know Paul.

Right. So my main concern, I was trying afterwards, I was like, do you think he thought I came in especially to see him, or was it clear? I was shocked.

And everyone was like, very clear, very clear, that you were shocked. If you came in specifically to see him, you fucked it massively. I fumbled the bag so, but then to add to the embarrassment, so number one embarrassment, I receive from both Ed and James the following day, just the words, Hello, Paul, right. And then, and then, at the end of the end of I get one from fucking Nish Kumar, and I'm like, oh, oh, now they've told all the boys.

And then Nish was like, don't worry, both of them. those boys only have one friend each and it's me. He was like, they haven't told anybody else. And now, Paul Rutt. And now Paul Rutt. But you obviously meet lots of famous people doing in your life. Not that famous. Okay, but you had Florence Pugh on the other week.

Yeah, that's true. Like, so you meet people all the time. And how can we, what can we learn is what I want to know? What can we learn from this? How do you approach? How did you meet Paul Rudd? What did you do? What did, what should you know?

not do. This is basically about how to meet Paul Ron. I think the full name was the, was the major tipping point. Yeah. Okay. Why did I do his whole name? How do you meet people normally, Tessa? Part of the problem is I'm completely faceblind. So I actually, we've met a number of famous people in our time that, a number three, perhaps. And then afterwards, and I'll be like, and then Steve, after they go away, Steve, after they go away, Steve would be like, who do you think that was? And I'll be like, Ian's dad? And then, who's Ian? And I'll be like, who's Ian? I'll just be like, a man? You know, and then you'll say it's somebody

like really quite famous, and I'll be like, oh, right. And so I rarely, I think the part of it was, I rarely meet people with the knowledge in advance. That was basically your first famous person because you knew who it was when you saw him. Do you know what I mean? Normally you meet them by accident, and they're like, that's thorough brain.

And you're like, oh, okay. Oh, is it? Oh, right. Just that was a jolly tall man. And Ian's dad. Whereas that was, that was like, that is Paul Rudd over there, so you freaked out. I think it's that, like, I'd never been told in advance,

here they come, and there they were. Here they come. Here they come. I don't think I've, I don't have any good stories. I don't really think I've met anyone, like, very famous. And I've definitely not, you know, been ambushed by it like you guys or, like, at all. So I don't really have anything to, which is why I think I'm sort of like, I'm scared it's going to happen at some point and I'm not going to be ready.

Sneak attack. The embarrassing thing was, but one weekend ago, in Mac, I was with James Acaster, a comedy festival in Wales, and this girl had walked along the pavement, stopped, looked James so, like, as close as this, and went, that's James Acaster, like that. Right.

And then, like, continue to stare at him, and I could not stop laughing about it. And I'd been like, fucking be cool. Like, I'd... Wow! Wow! One week later. In front of James Aicaster to them, hello, Paul, you know, like, I just,

I couldn't believe. I was so cross with myself. And I think that's the other thing. Lots of people are very overwhelmed to see like niche sometimes. And like, I'm always like, come on, be a bit cooler. Because I can see that they want to say all some, you know, he's really affected them or they really want to say an important thing. And they just are like, Nish.

Like they just ban it. And I'm always like, I'm really judgy about it. And then it's so hard. Yeah, it's hard. What I would say from his perspective, I don't think anything unusual happened. I think he gets that every day. That's the worst part about it.

Although we did then go out after that and not one person recognised them in the street. Okay, so starting point, they are used to it. So don't feel over the top like you're doing anything wrong because whatever you do, they probably have something weird to happen, right? You must have had weird people coming up to you being like, gamble! That's exactly that. How do you know?

That's the clarion call. It has like a mating call. Yeah, okay, so there's like a perspective there of just being like, it's fine, like whatever I do is fine. Don't overthink it because you obviously had too much time and you overthought it. so massively that when it came to saying something, you didn't actually say words.

Yeah. Yeah. I think this is Benito's fault for warning you in advance that Paul Rudd was in there. So I think if you'd gone in there, what would have happened if you'd gone in there and you'd just seen him? I would have seen him there. I'd be like, hello.

And then I think I could have got away. Yeah. Because I don't think I would have known who it was. Would you say that hello again? Hello? I think I could have managed it, maybe. You would have just thought there's just the random glowing man. He's night.

I might even have said, gosh, you're glowing, or something crazy. But I think I... Oh, I would have preferred that. Yeah, that would be really good. Gosh, you're glowing. Gosh, you're glowing. Yeah, I think I would have been okay if I didn't know who it was. Because then all the panic just...

I think I was feeling the panic too hard. And if I'd maybe had a bit more time to prep, I could have been like, that's okay. Just let the panic go. No, but no, even as I'm practicing there, even if he came on now, I'd still do something. Mad. Well, if you walked up here now, I think we'd all be surprised. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we all just be mad.

Okay, well, so how do you deal with meeting people who are in famous? What's your vibe? If they're on off menu, it's fine because we've got something to do. So there's a reason for them to be there. Yeah. And we have a planned conversation. Do you, but I'm talking, like, do you shake everyone's hand? Yes.

Or do you go in for a hug? Yes, I shake everyone's hand. Yeah, not like famous people just like, do you just shake everyone's hand? Yeah, yeah, yeah, on the bus, on the tube. Everyone here is. Ed Gamble, Ed Gamble, Ed Gamble, Ed Gamble, Ed Gamble. That name again, Ed Gamble. But that's what I'm frightened of

is that I'd go like, hey, because I always hug people. But I think if they're famous, you'd be like, like, I did meet Martin Freeman once. Gosh. I was seen with him in breeders. And we were both there to do a job. But I sort of was like, hello! I just hugged him, which actually was fine.

Later, I think I asked him if he'd seen a film he was in. But then I think we were too far, far in. Because we'd spent the whole day together that he just was like, I'm in that. It's like, oh, yes. I've seen that. I've seen it. I've seen it. You're obviously very good acting because you really disappeared into the character. Completely. But that was fine because then he's become just like a person that I'm hanging out with or working with or whatever. Whereas when it's like, it's that first bit like, do you just shake their hand? Do you go like at a party when someone's there and you're like, oh, I think they're a famous person or I like their work? Or do you pretend you don't know them? Or do you like wait for them to bring up the fact? that they're very successful is what I imagine famous people do.

Well, I think I'd, like, if I, if I wouldn't immediately go, I like your work, because you just meet someone and go, hello, nice to meet you. And if it comes up, fine. Like, if I was meeting my friend's wife for the first time, I wouldn't go, you're a lovely wife to my friend. I would, I think that's the difficult thing. I'd be like, I've heard so much about you. You're such a good wife to my friend.

There's a softer intonation to it works, isn't it? So, scream, anything, it's weird. Okay, you're at a party. You didn't know this person was going to be there. And who do you think would make your knees, would you make you a bit panicky? Make my knees tremble. Yeah.

I tell you what I was. We interviewed Corey Taylor, who's the lead singer of Slipknot on Zoom. Oh shit. And Zoom made it a lot easier. Right, yes. But also I was so no. Was he wearing his mask?

No. They wear masks. They do wear masks. They do wear masks. No, that tends to make podcast interviews difficult. Okay, Sean. No, he wasn't wearing his mask. But he was lovely, but I was,

that Zoom waiting room was absolutely terrifying. Yes, okay. And then he appeared and he was just there and he was lovely. And I said, hello, Corey Taylor.

Yeah, it's hard. I was holding my cat. This is a cat. Having something to do in their presence is probably helpful. Like, I went to a party and it was Rose Matafayo's birthday party and I was already

a bit like, I went on my own and I was already like, oh, the king's probably there. Or the Jacinda, you know, the president Prime Minister of, yeah, New Zealand's probably there. Weirdly, I wouldn't mind that. I'd be like, I would happily say,

I love your work and then I would just leave. I wouldn't. That was good. The way you did that was great. Yeah. So just do that. Just pretend everyone's Jacinda thingy. I forgot on the last name.

Ahern, isn't it? Arden. That's Caroline Ahern. Yeah. Just Cinder Arden. Justinda. Ahern. I'd just be like, oh, that's a politician.

I think there's something about a movie. that really just make you go a bit mad. This was a few years ago now. I was in Whole Foods in Piccadilly Circus buying some snacks. I always wonder who goes in there. Yeah, well, I'll tell you who else was in there doing what I consider to be a full shop.

Was Samuel L Jackson. What? That's two famous. So he was just ahead us in the queue and I was like, oh my God, that's fucking Samuel L Jackson. I turned to Charlie, my girlfriend at the time, now wife, said, oh, Samuel L.

Jackson she was like oh my god it's Samuel L Jackson I don't do this but I've got to go and say something or try and get a photo or something it's fucking Samuel L Jackson so he's outside and I went oh I'm so sorry I was quiet and respectful is it possible to have a photo and he sort of he paused for ages then looked around at how many people were around and went no I'm really sorry like he obviously doesn't want to be noticed and then he walked off he was wearing a jango unchained hoodie okay I can't have had a little bit in a hoagie even excellent okay That's good, though. That is a good thing.

If you're going to ask for a photo, I'd never even thought of that. Because it's like, like, oh, God. A purpose. Yeah, if they hear you go, like, oh, can I have a picture? Then people will just start going, I don't know who that is, but I'm probably going to ask for a picture anyway. Or then you start to realize that they're famous. Oh, yeah.

Right. So then you might have to be like, can you come in the corner? Right. You're really not good at this. Samuel L. Jackson. Samuel. Excuse me, Samuel L, can you just come in the corner. Samuel L, come on.

Come on. Pull you for a chat. I don't want everyone else to, you know, pop in. Keeping it on the, on the down. I think I've ever asked anyone for a photo. I think I'm always like, I'd be so frightened that it would, you know, upset them. Okay, you're at a party. Samuel Jackson's there.

Doing a full shop. Full shop. He's provided all the snacks. Yeah. Or he's just at this party. You didn't know who was going to be there. And you're completely thrown. Yes.

But at any moment, he might leave. You know, there feels like there might be a time window on how long Sammy. L Jackson might be. How'd you make you move? Yeah. I just wouldn't. Oh no, but you've got to.

So you, how would you, this would respectfully would you just not ever? No, well, if he's talking to people and about to leave the party.

Yeah, but that's even worse, isn't it? If you're just like, stood near, just like, but if you're like with someone, you can be like, should just like go,

like, go, go to the bar near him and just sort of, just hear what he's saying. There is no non-crepy option. It is weird. Yeah, we're sort of, yeah, you can't help

treating them like, they're sort of not real. They're not human. Yes, that's the thing that's part of the problem is this like you're so, we have this, again, not to make it like a deep psychological thing, but like all this like pseudo-social relationship with people

that I'm like, oh, blah, blah. It's so disorientating to see a person in who you normally lives in your living room and is an ant, a big ant or something. Oh, Ant-Man, is that where you're very... Have you seen an man? No. I have actually, and he's very good.

I would tell him if I had more. time with him. You genuinely did. You would have had way more time. He doesn't, oh God, I, and then like, I think it's so disorientating to be like, there's a person from the posters, and they're here in the flesh, and it does feel this like, I've got to say, but it's like, why? You don't have to say. You don't have to say. You really don't. You do not have to say. Unless it comes up and you're introduced to them or like, and then it's like, I suppose it's fine to acknowledge, like, I once met him, is not hugely famous, but like I really liked Franz Ferdinand when I was going up in a Rose Metaphos party.

I was sort of like standing in Nish just like brought a man over and went like, hey Alex, meet Stevie, Steve, me Alex. And then like, run away. And then, which is how Nish sort of conducts all of his business. And I sort of was like, oh, hi. And I was like, I think that's Alex Kapanis from his friend of dinner. But I didn't want to say. So I was just like, oh, hi.

What do you do? And he's like, I'm a musician. I was like, I knew that. Did you say? Yeah. But like, it was like, you say that. Yeah. It's quite endearing.

Yes, this is the thing. I think you can do it. I think maybe it can be endearing. We think it's terrifying when you, because I felt like I'd been really weird. And everyone was like, oh God, you made it clear to him that you knew. Because I was asking him about his albums

and how he got this bit of the son. I was like, I don't know any of the stuff, but like that song when it does that, like, that's really cool. And he's like, oh, yeah, no, sure. I'm doing a very best question. Oh, yeah, no, sure, take me out. You know, we were speaking in there.

It was, you know, fan trick. And so I think is the moment it was like, He's just like a guy just like having a chat with someone at party. It's like, well, I would ask someone what they do anyway. Or like, you know, but it is difficult when it's someone so famous that you can't ask Samuel L Jackson, so what do you do? Especially if you've stopped him leaving whole foods. Can I have a photo?

So what do you do? Yeah, no, that is tricky. So are we saying that we basically shouldn't probably ask people for photos? Yeah, but I don't mind being asked for photos. I suppose, but with all due respect, you're not Samuel L. Jackson. So he's probably like, if someone gets a photo with you... I know a couple of guys out there asking me for photos. They said I loved you in Pulp Fiction.

Well, there we go. You're often mistaken for Samuel L. Jackson, surely. So it must be like quite a nice thing for you maybe sometimes. Rather than for him, it means like, oh God, this means that now I can't get home with all my shopping because he lives in Piccadilly Circus. Yeah. Maybe it wasn't Samuel L. Jackson. Bodyworks.

Maybe it was a Samuel O' Jackson look-like who wears a Django Unchained hoodie specifically for that purpose. It does sound like it wasn't here. He would have had a fucking photo if he was a look-a-like, wouldn't he? Yeah, that's true, actually. No, no, no. No. Please expand.

Baby, no paper trail. Not if you're the look-a-like, the professional look-alike. What do you mean, no, but it's not illegal? Are you imagining this guy works for Samuel L Jackson? No. No. That's not what lookalikes do.

Are you thinking of Saddam Hussein when he had a cabal of lookalikes to put people off the scent? Are you suggesting that I was saying that Samuel Lel Jackson? has a bunch of lookalikes to keep the American army on their toes. If not the American army, then maybe the British paparazzi. Yeah.

But to be like, you know, he's actually somewhere else in London, but he sends out a group of... Yeah, so why wouldn't he want someone to take a photo with one of his lookalikes? Because then the pap's are going to go there. You don't want anyone to be like, that's not Samuel L. Jackson, that to be circulate. You don't want the word to get out. You need that story to be, I just saw Samuel L. Jackson in the whole...

That was the story. But if we had a photo now, we could look at it and be like, that's not Samuel L Jackson. But that's fine. But you would look at the photo and you'd go, that is Samuel L Jackson. Because it was. You'd pick up a fucking dog and run out the room.

I just think it just like, just ideas. I just have a big balling the idea. Okay, so do ask for a photo quietly if the mood is right. I think it's that sort of thing of like you've got to shoot your shot. Like they'll all the worse that can happen. You don't think any ill of Samuel Jackson would, I'd be fair to say that he was like, I'm really sorry, just like, there's loads of people, I don't want to do it. You'd be like, yeah, okay.

And you'd be like, of course, they're a famous person they got us all the time. But maybe he's like really cool and you take a photo and it's like, yeah, do it. You've got one live, ask, you know. Yeah. But in a nice and respectful way and usher him towards, you know, in a corner. You know, pop in a shadow. So that you know the lingo, you know, to be like, we got to hide. Okay.

But so far. It was him. It was. It was. Four-foot-two white guy, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Looks a bit like Mike's going to the street. Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

But this is probably, I think, I don't know if anyone listens to the podcast, you'll sort of forget this as well. Like, this is probably one of our most sort of tip and advice based, a heavy episode. We've got, don't say their full name. Ask for a photo if you like. That's all we've got so far. I think it's like, feel the panic.

Be like, oh, yeah, there it is. There's the panic. Oh, I thought you meant the celebrity. There it is. No, like, I'm just having a day. I'm in hot. And then you're like, oh my God, oh my God. And then it's like,

you know and then you're like maybe WhatsApp someone and be like the hit like so you've like let it out you've got an outlet for excitement do a little lap and be like okay there they are and then be like okay like you did a lap around Paul Rudd just a little lap around this small room

and then say oh hello hello just like try and get a bit of the panic out of your system and just be like yeah okay here it is just feeling cool feeling normal and then accepting that you probably will never hit base level normal you're only ever going to go in here and then don't beat yourself up too much

when you can't hit normal. Yes. And if they're talking to a group of people, just like, I mean, it's hard enough if it's not famous people. If you're at a party and there's a group of people and you have to like enter the group. So it's hard enough anyway.

So going in on your own, that's obviously going to be a hard thing to do. So maybe just don't do the approach on your own. And I think take away the idea that like he's going to be so enchanted by you that he'll be like, what are you doing later? Hang on. That's what you were thinking.

In a sex way, just being like, I'm going to this, I'm going to an after party. And you were so fun that they'll like take you to the odds. Is that what you thought? Paul Rudd would do. Yeah. You thought Paul was going to take you to an after party for our podcast. It's 1pm.

No. And he was like, honestly, I thought, okay, listen, a tiny part of me probably thought, as I picked up that dog, if I'm nice enough in this 37 second cross of the room, they'll say, we're going to lunch, do you want to come? And then I'll come. We've had a podcast.

Otherwise, of course we would have invited you. No, not you. You can't invite me. Paul's got to invite me. Paul didn't know what the fuck he was doing. But that's the thing like I... So there's a bit of you just out of interest because we have quite different brains, you know.

There's not a rational part. No, no, no one's thinking it's a rational part. Don't worry. The idea of that... So you, if you see a famous way, there's an element to it, which is rightly or wrongly, you... You believe that they might be like, ask you just to hang out with them for a bit.

In my heart of hearts, yes. I think that's maybe tip number one, remove that. Because then you're only going to be disappointed, even if the exchange is a success. Sorry to bring it back to the Paul Rudd situation. If he had done that, if he had done that, if you're like, hey, we're just going for lunch. Do you want to come for lunch?

Not have handled that, Tessa, could you? But also you were supposed to be recording a podcast. Would you have just left before Stevie got there? Oh, and left her hanging? Yeah. I would have understood. actually. I do know that she would have understood but I would have

martyed myself. I would have, I would have been like... Invited me? That's the answer. That's what I'm saying the phrase martyering is, I'm sorry. I'd of course be like, Stevie has to come. I thought you meant martyering as then you're like, I can't, I'm doing the podcast. Oh, never. That wouldn't even cross my mind. Right. Okay. I think that is, that is that is marty himself. Yeah. But you would have maybe

invited me to the launch. Oh yeah. I would... I would have told me that Paul Rudd was there. No, no, I would have said we're going to lunch with Paul Rudd now. What? Still full name. Which actually is necessary because if you said we're going to lunch with Paul, I would have thought you met Paul Rod, so yeah.

I would have accepted that if he'd invited us, we'd be like, we have to put the podcast, would be delayed because we're going to lunch with Paul Rudd. And I would have said, yes, Stevie has to come. That's, okay, that makes me sound. Okay, Stevie has to come. I sort of arrive, like, I have to be here too.

I'm part of this. I would have actually declined, because I genuinely, I genuinely don't think I could be around a table with Paul Rod. The thing is, I believe that I think I back off. I think once I'd got on the table, I think I'd be a delight. On the table. Oh, you were stood on the table. Gosh, right, really getting a handle on you meeting celebrities now.

I think once the panic, once we were in, I think I'd be okay, I think. Yeah. But back myself, but it was just that, it was just, yeah, gosh. It doesn't reflect well, aren't me, does it? No, it does not reflect neither poorly. Norwell. I thought it was great. Yeah, it's good stuff.

I loved every second. I thought it was... Yeah, it didn't reflect badly on you at all. I feel bad about texting you immediately afterwards. I didn't mind it. I still part of me with hope that Paul would say, she's fun, bring her along. Yeah, okay, okay.

I think that is part of the issue, is I was like, here's my chance. Paul, Bartle. Well, we certainly learned a lot. Yeah, but I think I see now that the panic is a bit of an issue for me. of like, here they come. So I once interviewed on the red carpet at the terrible film, Oblivion.

I loved it. Did you? Yeah. Seen it? You were doing interviews on the red carpet? Can you imagine that? Fuck me. I already knew it.

That's why I felt surprised. That is amazing. Who were you doing that for? The evening standard. Okay, so it was for a... You didn't just go along by yourself. Glass of white wine. Yeah.

I was legitimately in the press corner and I was legitimately there interview Tom Cruise Red Carpet for Oblivion and as he came down the line by the way it was very cold and he was being flanked by four patio on wheels

that like interns were dragging behind him to keep him Well they attached they weren't attached to him Not sorry no They're not attached to him But they are behind these chit These interns drag

And then every time they had a pitch He'd be like, he wouldn't look, but the assistant would be like, get, get out, get out the patio get them out of the picture. And then back in, back in, Tom's cold, POM's cold. So like, it was already, it was so mad. It was so mad. Anyway, then he got to me and I was like, yeah, I'm going to ask these cool questions. I think to the people around me in the press thing, I was like, I'm going to say,

because it was about having your memories erased, I was like, if you had all your memories erased, Tom, which of your three wives would you choose to remember? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, Christ. Okay, wow. Right. How did you get it so wrong again, but it's a complete. different direction.

Yeah, the spectrum is so wide, but not in between at all. I'm just, I'm talking the talk, you know, in the press thing. And then he's coming, he's coming. The patios are coming. The patios are coming. You're cracking why,

what is with the rest of the hacks, right? I'm cracking why, you know, I'm like, hey, what are you going to say? What are you going to say? What are you going to say? All this cool stuff. He gets to me, I just go, Tom Cruise.

Into my own shoulder like this, I go, I liked your film about space. And he has to go like this Do you have a question? How did it take this long for us to get to this story? Yeah. It should be immediately

tell the Paul Rod story. This exact thing has happened to me before. Yeah. I forgot. Oh God. Okay, so it's just easy. We can round the podcast up but just saying don't say the person's name

of the person's name. Yeah, don't say the whole name. That's it. If you feel the feelings coming, you need, You need to exit. I just need to know like, here comes the feeling again,

and I need to take myself away from here because I'm going to say a whole man's whole name. Again, and I need to... I've got... Okay, I've got one more. Yeah, no, absolutely. This one, I go to a do, but there's this weird man with a cravat,

and he's like, and I'm so I'm like, what do you do? And he's like, I'm putting on the killer mockingbird on the worst end. And then there's a woman there called... This is Tony, this is... was it like posh people what was the party?

There was like an American... I'd been sent to meet this American producer and then they were like, I'm actually going to this do later, do want to come to a do and of course, you know me, I'm like, I love to go to a do. And then I got there and it was like, it was like way weirder than I thought it was going to be and I thought it was just me and hers were going for dinner

and I was like, oh, why are these people here? So I'd be like, okay, I'm being professional and nice and normal and chatting to this man who's making a mockingbird and think he was just like, I don't want to talk to you. Everyone was being quite weird and mean to me, and I'm sort of having to be like, ha ha ha ha. I'm the hired clown, I suppose.

At this thing, there's maybe 12 adults. And I definitely felt, you can't just say people. I think we all, we presume they're not babies. I just felt so much younger. I understand. And they all just felt so serious. And somebody worked for the UN. Like, it just felt like a weird.

I know, it felt so, it was a weird mad. And then someone said, like, this is Tony. This is so and so. Someone said, this is Jillian. and honestly two hours into the night, I think, God, that woman called Gillian really looks like Jillian Anderson. Right. And I've been chatting to her as well.

That's good. Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's the thing. So I'm like, I've already done my face. I've tricked us our way in. We've had an interesting conversation about serial killers. So did you left the party. No, so I'm thinking, I've done quite well here.

I've chatted to her. I've come across relatively well. This is fine. But then, of course, I think, oh, my God, that's Julian Anderson. At which point, do, do, do, do, the panic happens again. And now I know I must leave. One of the other times I feel the panic. Right, yes.

Because I know who someone is, I must leave now, even though I've already done good work before. Right. So the tip is to never know who anyone is. No, the tip is, when you feel the panic, you must leave. You must leave. Okay, that's good. That's good.

If you feel, you flee. If you feel you flee. If you feel, you flee. Okay. Okay, so I feel that now that I know who she is, da-da-da-da-da, panic comes up again. And then, of course, the subconscious feeling, she'll say, do you want to come home with me and my...

And then you'll go, Jill in a-down to say. almost make it right to the end of the night. I'm like, don't talk to her again. I'm really, I'm like, now you know who she is. Like, don't be a weirdo. Like, just leave her alone. Try and get in with this mockingbird man.

He's impenetrable. And then she's leaving early. I thought to myself, you don't so well. Just get to the end. Be really nice and normal. And then as she's leaving, she comes to hug me in. She says, like, it was so lovely to meet you. And I said, it was so lovely to meet you.

And I'm like, and in my head I thought, nailed that. Oh my God. That's the last thing you need to say. Done. It was so nice to meet you as well. Hug her. her coat was so soft. Oh no, you love soft things.

I love soft things. She does, she loves soft things. She once bought a pair of just some coughs. Nothing else? Because they felt soft on her wrist. At no point has the sentence, her coat was so soft being followed by, oh no.

Yeah, I just know. It was softer than you can possibly imagine. Yeah. Then you can possibly imagine. I know. So like, this is the thought princess. Here she comes for the hug. It's so nice to meet.

you, me, fucking smashed it. Hug, feel it. I stroke her fallback. And into her ear, I go, oh my God, that's incredibly soft. That's a fountain of what not to do. Yeah, okay. We have to end on that, really, don't we, I think?

Thank you so much, Ed Gamble. Thank you so much for coming tonight. We really appreciate it. You're incredible. You're incredible. You're incredible. You're incredible. Ed is about to start his amazing live tour that is called Hot Diggaddy Dad.

That's next year. Oh, next year. But I appreciate the plug. Have you got a book out? Well, yeah, it's called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, and it's my life through food. Thank you.

And, okay, great. Well, thank you so much, and see you next time. Now you've been fantastic. Thank you.