Nobody Panic - How to Organise a Hen Do

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Okay, so you're Maid of Honour. This is all on you. But Do Not Panic! Stevie and Tessa are here with some helpful advice, thoughts, feelings, horror stories, and the general instruction that your role is really 'High Priestess of Vibes'.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The date is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace. It's coming to London. True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September at King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. do for me. Yeah. Great. It would be my honour. Amazing. No pressure. It's just like the only one I'll ever have and it's the best, it's supposed to be the

best party that we've ever had. And yeah, that's it really. Yeah. Yeah. I'd love to do that for you. Cool. Great. See you later.

Bye. Welcome to Nobody Panic. Today's episode is how to organize a hendombo. do without making it a hen don't oh boy oh boy hello i'm tessa hello that's stevie and stevie immediately hits on quite an interesting what no this is this funny you immediately hear on quite an interesting thing that you were like that you that i think actually the bride is often the least troubling part of the hendoo yes you know it's actually um everybody else sometimes though surely sometimes the bride is the issue like i like yeah i've heard i've heard tell of

of very, I've heard tell of like, oh yeah, whatever. And then as it gets closer, like, but make sure that this or like, make sure that this or don't invite that person or like that kind of thing. That is sort of tricky. But look. So I think they're a thorny, a thorny old thing at Hindu. They are relatively recent, certainly within like the last 10 years thing, I really feel in our parents' generation that on like the Thursday night before a wedding, like some of the,

you know you all went to the pub right i think it was not the sort of thing it is today it has become hysterical now as with all things it's because it can you can make money from it and once one person has one in the friendship group then everyone's like right i've got to have one yeah well now they've done it like i want one completely opposite i'm like i'm not how like i didn't have one because i was like i just every time i see every time i've someone's told me they're going to handle or i've been invited to one no matter how it is you go, oh, okay. And then, and then you, you might read the details and go, oh, actually, that, that sounds quite all right. Fine. But quite often you'll read the details and be like,

okay, I do like this person, but God Lord, do I want to spend like a weekend in Malaga with them? Yes, their friends I don't know from home? Probably not. Like, there's a lot going on. So, well, you hit on, you hit organically on my number one point. Okay. My first thing is actually not to people who've been tasked with organizing, but to Hendu invitees. So just then you feel like the email comes down the line. You're like, uh-huh. And you think, do I want to do that?

No. To say that if you do not want to go on this Hendoo, you do not have to go. It's like, please don't go. And so if you read the email, you're like, I can't think of anything worse. It's your best friend. Doesn't matter.

Well, why aren't you in charge of organizing it then? Because you can have more than one best friend? No. You absolutely can. Just don't go. But crucially, like, you don't have to say that you just don't want to. Of course, you say, oh, I've got a prior engagement. I've got to work that weekend.

I've got to do this. I would say it's a prior engagement. You need to be at a wedding or whatever, make something up. I think if it's purely financial and you say, I can't afford it, even though that might well be the case, I suspect that the bride or the Hindu organizing team will, like, find a way to make it work for you financially. Yes, I see. So I would say don't offer that as the reason. because somebody will solve it

but if it's like I'm going to a wedding it's like there's nothing to be down there they're not in and I think so therefore if you can't go that's absolutely fine or you don't want to go like just please like don't go it would be so much better if all the all the people who were there were just like in

with their whole heart as opposed to me like I fucking hate every second of this but I have to do it's like no you don't don't go so if you feel a little bit guilty if you are feeling guilty about that message the organiser and be like I'm so sorry I'm at wedding I tell the bride that you can't be there I'm, I can't be there, I'm so sorry, but please, could I send you

£30 and could you buy a round of shots in the bar from me? That's fun to do. Or if it's, you know, can you buy a nice champagne for me, from me, for me? Could you buy me a champagne? Like when you, if they're staying in their house or something, could you get like a really classy, expensive champagne and be like, this is from me when they get there? So everyone's like, gorgeous, she couldn't be here, but Stevie's contributed,

and that's absolutely lovely. And then think no more of it. If you are going, then it needs to be like, and you're in. You're in with like a capital I, capital N. Yes. And reply, now that I have done two in my life, and now the most precious thing that happened, like, the most like, so when I sent out the email that was like, this is the plan, having like stressed about it for so long, about five girls on it immediately replied with something to the tune of like, this was absolutely incredible, well done you for organising. I can't wait. I've already paid you.

Great. And I burst into tears. So now that I like have been on the receiving end of it, like if you are in, like be in. Yes. And be like, this looks great. Let me know what I can do to help. Yes. I've already paid you.

This is perfect. Equally, if you don't like the idea of helping in any way, please don't offer. Like, but if you do like do X, Y or Z, like do, but don't be like, oh, I should help. Like, don't. You've been invited. You've paid your money. Just show up. You're going to go.

Your job is purely to be fun. I received this email. This is a positively phrased email. Inviting me to a hendoo. It is in fact, Caroline of the. tarot readings. Oh yeah. Lovely. Hendu, who won't mind this being read out.

So it's very fun. We're going for dumplings and then karaoke in Soho. Gorgeous. No one's staying in the night. No one's doing anything. And this is from her friend Ella. Right, and then she explains what we're doing. And then at the end she says like, thank you, exclamation mark.

This is the Hendo organizer. I'm excited. Ideally, this will be very chill, very fun, and nobody has to go and stay in a villa in Marbeah with 30 women they don't know. You will not have to share a with anyone, I guess, unless your night gets really fun, question mark, question mark, but that's on you. No bears will be organized or provided. Similarly, nor will I be providing or organizing anything penis-shaped or novelty t-shirts. Feel free to bring your own. Related,

Caroline has a vague desire to make us all wear some kind of matching item. She has not yet settled on an item, brackets, in inverted commas, a fedora from our collected youth, question mark, question mark. But she would like us to look like, in inverted commas, A group of interesting women, maybe like a breakaway team from a conference, but working as a collective. So I suppose watch this space for that, unless you have an idea of what would make us look like a collective. This is an email, not a WhatsApp, so nobody has to be in a WhatsApp group. Feel free to set up your own among yourselves. Some of you are my best friends and some of you I don't know at all, but I'm pretty sure everyone here is top tier.

No losers, only friends. I've put everyone on CC so that you can reply just to me without getting everyone in involved in a hellish email chain. You can also WhatsApp me, but only if you're going to say something exciting or useful about planning a hendoo. I've never planned a hendu. Caroline hates to plan a party at all. Can we make it happen?

We'll find out in Capitals. Anyway, it just made me laugh so much. And then she was like, watch this space for more ironic fedora information. But it was so like beautifully summed up all the energy of the like Hendu organizing, which is like, what's this? Nobody really wants it. And it will be fun when we get there. But like, what a stressful thing to take on as an activity.

But, yeah, Hendo in general is such a minefield of different people's emotions and finances and what people all want to do. And your chances of that the 30 separate women in your life, your mother, your aunt, your godmother, your cousins, the woman from next door who just has to be invited to things, you know, all of this, the chance that every one of them shares what you think is a fun idea of a night out is, you know, it's just never. It's never going to happen. It's never going to happen.

But I do have, I do have some thoughts. Great. Okay, so you have been tasked. You are in charge of a Hindu. Christ. Christ. And you think, uh-oh. And actually probably first thing is don't go, oh God, Christ.

Just go, great, yeah. Pretty cool. Unless you don't want to and then go, I wouldn't be the best person. I would suggest this person. Great, great options. I think no one has to take on this like martyed role of being like, This is hellish. Being like, know your strengths.

And if you're like, please don't make me be in charge of this, then it's like, great. Like, there's no way, again, like, about the friendship thing, like, you know, you are friends. You know, so if they really have given you a job that you're like, please, no, it's not for me. Okay, so you've said, it's not for me, please. The bride has said, I think it is.

You're like, okay. You know what? You're right. You know what? You know what? I'd think about it. And I'd love to do it. I'd love to do it.

But I do firmly believe that everybody can dig deep and, Yes. And do it. And be the bride. So the two brides I've been in charge of were opposite ends of the scale of like what they wanted. One was like absolutely set that we went to like Magaloof for the weekend. And one was like, nothing. And I was like, right, but you can.

Organise it but do nothing. Organise it but nothing. It's like, here's the list of people I want to come and it should be nothing. I was like, okay. So we'll get to that person in a moment. What I recommend for brides who really want to. want to go hard is a bachelorette. So a more, to take on a more American thing, you do like a mini, minarette and then you

might do like a bridal shower. So like, let's put, let's do another hand, like a bigger one that's like, we're all going out. For loads of people. For loads of people. You know, Barbara from next door, godmother's aunts, everybody's welcome at this bigger one. But we're never going to get all of them to Magaloof. So let's go three, four maximums of six people who are like, and I'm in. That is manageable.

This is what, and crucially there are people who like want to go to Magaloof. Don't be dragging nobody to Magaloof or Disneyland for the weekend. Or for some people for the group who are like, or maybe your bridesmaids or whoever who are like, this is what we want. And again, if people don't want it, don't force it. But like, so then you can get away with like having these huge, you know, this big trip or this big thing that she wants. And I think it's important to say to the bride, if that is what she wants, then she does have to be a financial contributor to that. It can't be like, I want you to take me to Disneyland. And at the other end, people who are like, nothing, do nothing for me, but also I wanted a bit.

Yes. Because that's the thing about... I feel like that will be you. No, I have a plan and I'm going to organise it myself. Okay, that's very good. Yeah. I was thinking because of your birthday thing, you had that deep struggle for a while and you're like, nothing please. Then you're like, well, I want to wall like Kim Kardashian with a flower.

But no one will know if it's... How will you, anyone know that? So I think I do feel more ready to buy yourself flowers. To buy myself flowers. Write my own name in the sand. No, weirdly, I still couldn't throw the birthday party, but weirdly I do feel more ready to do a hendoo. Anyway, something to unpack for another time. When?

What episode will that be, if not how to organise a hendo? Okay, so the bribes on the other end who are like, I don't want anything. What I did for them was to do almost like a slideshow. Right. of like various images that were like girls like drunk in Benadorm you know people going to like

everybody wearing like white the veils and like wasted you know going out for a night not to say no and there's nothing every every dream is a valid dream absolutely if you want to go to Benadorm and get absolutely fucked like that's a fantastic that's a fantastic night out

if that's what your heart beats for but some people like that was that's my idea of hell and equally you might be like oh we all just sit around and went to like an oil painting class. Be like that's most, and some people like, that's ideal. You know, so everybody is different. Do them a slideshow and then they can be like absolutely not.

Not to them. Oh, the whole gamuts. Then like after the Benadorn one, then maybe like, yes, people doing life drawing. Life drawing. Or just very civilized people that are around a dinner table. Yeah. Or house party vibe. Exactly.

Picnic. Punting. Very elegant dinner. Really fucked up dinner. Karaoke. Like everything like on the slideshow to be like, here's all these options. And you say, you know, if this is. are we getting close to like what the sort of vibe is?

You can rig them up to a heart monitor. Yeah, exactly. And you're quite, yeah, exactly. And I do it in person so you can see from their initial reaction whether they're like recoiling or being like, oh yeah, that could be one. Also, this bride, hopefully, had been sending me screenshots of other people's Instagram stories of other hendos and being like, hell. So she'd sent me one that was everybody drawing either the, I don't know if they were drawing

the bride or they'd brought in a nude model. but it was perhaps 11.30 in the morning. Everyone was in like their best party dresses. They all had on a party hat. It's the most forlorn grip of women I've ever seen. And they are all like being forced to draw somebody who's nude, I think. You can pivot in the moment so if you're doing something and you're like, that's, that's change up.

Like maybe is the Hindu organiser, that you're also maybe sort of like high precessive vibes. So if there's a vibe shift, you can be like, I've sensed the vibe. vibe shift? I don't know. Let's go somewhere else and maybe like have options. You've got, but yeah, you can be, yes, a 1,000 percent. But if you are high priest as a vibe, you've got to have a vibe option in your pocket. You can't just be like, vibes are off. And everyone's like, great looking to you to be like, well, now what?

Yeah. Oh, God. It is a, it is a constant management of vibe. Yeah. And to like, but it's a sort of thing that only, you only really know how to vibe from experience. So if you're going to do a live drawing, you'd need to like maybe, and you're like, oh, this will be so funny. make the bride, we draw the bride nude. You know, like, that sounds hilarious, right? I would text somebody who has done that or, like, just ask around so that someone can be like, you know what?

I have been, we thought it would be funny. And she cried, you know? Yeah. Just with all the ideas that you have, unless you be ready to be nude. Yeah. Like, you be ready to go, you know what? The bride doesn't want to do it. I'm going to get my clothes.

I'll draw me, you know? Because so many things like that are like sound brilliant and then are so sad. I remember I went to like a laser quest. Hendo wants. Oh yeah. It was fun for like a bit and then they booked too long a slot. And then the Hendo organiser was like, okay, like I think we're probably not going to do the full 17 hours. So I took the liberty of booking bar around the corner just in case we wanted to leave earlier. It was like, oh my God, great. Great. Everyone had been like, we've got to stay till three because we're going to sit in the car park and I was like, no, you've fought ahead. Well done. High

precessive vibe, that's perfect. She's smashed that. Well done her. Because it's so hard with timings to know, because you'll be like, okay, we'll play this game for five minutes and then suddenly the game takes like, or like a, whatever, a quiz or something that you've planned. And it actually turns out to take like an hour and a half. And you're like, right, I fuck that. And then equally the things that you're like, Laser Quest will be fun for four hours and it's fun for seven minutes. And then you're like, now what? And it's like, more of, more of that, is it? More of that. Forever. More of that. So it's just like, yeah, be ready with the different options. We're ready with like places to go where you know we're vibe we're vibe aware at all times because you don't want

to be the person who's screaming like we need to get to the karaoke now yeah it's been like karaoke need to have been booked in such a way that should it be very fun at the bar before we're leisurely we can like oh we'll go to the hour later slot you know all of this so I think if you're the solo hendie organizer make sure you've got yourself a committee if the bride has not given you a committee you just make one and be like this is a good group of people who will if I say what about this they're like you know what no or like who've got like different strengths to bring to the group and so you're not just on your own making yourself insane with your like and now we should be doing this my schedule wow I know a um somebody a stag who took there was a three-day thing with like relentless activities

and they all got way too drunk on the first day and then there was like nine a m go-karting and the like organiser just like horned horned horned everyone in the bed like horned horned so they went and they were all sick on the go-karts and they had to pay this enormous deposit. So it's like, be aware of the vibes and pivot if the vibe is wrong. Be like, you know what, fuck go-karting. Yeah.

I would say, if you're going for the big night, big house away, I would go for one night. Interesting. I would say, just go for the Saturday night because if you go for Friday and Saturday, what happens is her friends from her law course come on the Friday

and then they say... Very specific. Who are these girls? They come on the Friday and then they say, oh, I'm not going to drink tonight because I'm saving myself for Saturday. And then on Saturday night,

they say, I'm not really drinking that much because I actually went too hard yesterday. And then they get up on Sunday at 6am and then they deep clean the kitchen and then they leave. Right, okay, interesting. So I think... And that's true of every time

anyone books a house. Yep, okay, just checking. Those girls will be in the house, whether you invite them or not. They're there. I do. think that two nights is can be a bit much. Yeah. And I would say just go for the Saturday. I would say a Saturday early, like a 12 o'clock Saturday lunchtime arrival, lunch, like then and then like an

evening at it, whatever, and then leave leisurely after breakfast on the Sunday. You'd try and be like, oh, maybe we'll go for pub lunch, but like people want to go home on Sunday. Just like they want to get at the hell out of Dodge. But also is there, is there a room for like, like, like you said about the Bachelorette and the larger, like have like core people and then more people join on the Saturday. Stevie, Stevie, Stevie. Or does that create a two-tier system? Fantastic question. It's actually my point, my next point was exactly

that. If you booked it, book it for two nights because often it's a two-night minimum anyway, so you've already own it for the Friday night. Bachelorette on the Friday. And it doesn't have to be a fucked up where we're getting fucked up. No, actually like a nice dinner It's nice dinner. It's a nice... Maybe some yoga.

Exactly. It's like let's ease ourselves in and just like having... And actually that was, I did that recently with this most recent one and that was such a nice thing to do on the Friday night that was like... But what if you were only invited to the Saturday and then you turn up and you feel like you're not as good a friend as everybody? Nobody needs to know necessarily that...

Secret lying party. It's not lying necessary to be like, this is the do it happens. There's no photos and the whole part of the hand do is like you have... But I would say like that Friday isn't for like the big photos with all your friends. That's just like a nice little dinner. Like... And maybe it's like literally three people or something. So you're really, yeah.

And actually maybe it's framed to everyone else as they're helping set up. top. Exactly. This is just like we're just setting up. So I had said with this one, also it helped in this particular case that the bride had two children. So it was very much like, this is her socially easing herself into.

This is her coming up for air. She'll be going to bed at 9pm. Like it wasn't like, oh, this is going to be the fun night. It was very much like, I'm there anyway. We already own the house. I'll just be decorating on Friday night. Anyone who wants to come.

This is not fun. This is just like we're eating small dinner and you'll be, I'll be making you blur at balloons. You know? So like it wasn't framed as like, this is the real. do. Good.

Okay. Right. It was the, it was the starter to the main course. Whereas I feel like an evening guest is definitely a limoncello.

You know, to a thing. Because you haven't seen the actual wedding. Yeah, exactly. So I wouldn't, yeah,

I don't think that's what, I don't think that's the case. Helpful. Helpful to know. Yeah. But again, like, this is a,

just keep on spread, keep on sourcing. Yeah. Endlessly asking, going to your friend and be like, and what do you think

will people will feel about this vibe. But you make a, listen, a fine and excellent I think as a organizer, part of your job is to be like, could everybody try and bond? Yeah. So could you then, now I'm going to shift into like games and bits.

Oh yeah. To be like, can you try your best, like put people in groups that are like, if you're going to do like a quiz or a game or something? To like make them really think through the group as opposed to like, okay, this table versus that table. But like really think through like, okay, this is a nice spread of different generations, different people who don't know each other. You know, and like, and so I think I can do you think of it as like the most, the best thing. think of it as its job is to be like when you get to the wedding all these people have already met each other and can be like we already met at the Hendo

you know and we've already got like a shared story a shared fun thing to talk about on our table and now we're already having a good time at the wedding so this is just like it's a mixer what about if there's drama how do you how do you absorb drama because as the Hendo organiser it's probably your job to not be the most drunk okay taught me through the drama who's having drama

okay someone from the friend from home yeah has made a comment about how, like, the, how the, um, the, how, um, the, the, like, um, London Metropolitan Elite friend, for example, um, like, it doesn't have kids and, and like, and rents a hat, rents a flat or something and it's quite disparaging. And then the London Metropolitan Elite friend turns around and it's like,

yeah, well, I don't want to have kids because, like, it's shit or something. And then, and also, like, I don't want to have, have to live in Kent, me, or something. If it's happening at 10 a.m. on the Friday morning and we need to get through two more days of this, Okay. Then I'm taking them both aside to be like, okay, this is not your day. That's helpful. This is Emily's day. Do you want, Sharon, do you want to say anything?

Karen, do you want to say anything? Okay. Be like, you live different lives. Listen, she's jealous of you because you get to have a lot of free time. You don't have any children and you're living your life. She's jealous of you because you live in the middle of the countryside and have a big house and have an amazing family. Okay, you're both jealous of each other. You're both wonderful women.

We're both here for Emily. Shut the fuck up. Great. That's perfect. 9 p.m. on the Saturday. She's always said she hates you. More shots. Have more shots. Have more shots for everyone.

Come, you need to do your diary entry. You know, come into the diary room. Oh, by that point in the hour, I'm like, that's the drama that people can then discuss on the drive home. Fine, okay. That's perfect. Okay, great. What you want on the drive home is being like, sorry, can we discuss? Yeah.

And then everyone gets to bitch about it. Okay. How, okay, well, about what happens? The bride is getting too drunk. Let's. What time is it? Oh, my God. I don't know.

It's in the day. Okay. It's at lunch time. Okay. You do have the party in the evening, and she's sort of started to get a bit out of control. Make her a barmaid's gin, so entirely sparkling water, lime, soda, and like a splash of the hint of gin on the very top. So it feels alcoholic and be like, we're having gin tonics. And we're shifting now to a water-based experience.

But we're never telling her, you're too drunk, you need a timeout. Okay, of course. Never telling you that. We're just quietly feeding her water now. But with a bit of gin on the time. otherwise they shout, this is water and then they throw it. Sure. So you've got to be like, yeah, it's an incredibly weak.

Don't draw attention to it and quietly pivot her to a alcohol-free drink. Well, that's quite fun as well. In terms of not quite fun, but that's a good point as well. But not everyone might want to, so much of it is based on drinking. And not everyone might want to drink at all or constantly. And so maybe that's something that people don't think is to have, not just like well if you you know here's some diet coke like have some like nice things that are for non-alcoholic yeah yeah yeah because people will be people will be people will be all people will be pacing themselves

yeah make sure that you've got like you've if it is in a house and you're in charge of the bar like have the see do a bigger cardo shop um have it checked by a secondary person otherwise people are like for me for example the people like where's the tea and coffee and milk and me being like people don't drink that and i was like never even across my mind yeah yeah and someone's like okay you know well i was just like but i've got one thousand chips and dips if one would like them. I've just bought 20 hummuses. We had to be like party bag of hummus. Everyone take a hummus for the road. Go home with a hummus. Oh, this is a just some, should you be doing house bits? I have found, this is I got from going to a house hendu. When we got there on everyone's bed, there was like a gift bag. And I thought that was,

they were just like little sweets and small treats and things that were like the byd it was a pilot. So they were all in like a Ryanair. Like she'd made them. looked like a fake Ryanair bag. Like it was just like really sweet stuff. That was an immediate like, oh, and we're in and it's a do and we're, and it was a very cheap way of everyone immediately feeling included. Yeah. So I thought it was like lovely and that I've continued to do at other hendos I've been to.

And so like little bits like that in general I think people don't want to wear penis straws, but there is something nice about being like, we all had one of these on the hendoo. So if there's something like personal to the bride to be like, could everyone have this? I don't know, a little something that's like. An eye patch. Genuinely for you, I might do an eye patch. Yeah, sure.

Or, like, everybody got an enamel pin of piper, you know? Oh, that's nice. Just, oh no, I know what I'd give everyone for you. No. I'm a choker. I do love a choker. I'm one of the original old-fashioned, like, criss-cross. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those chokers, little plastic choker. And everyone would have to be dressed solely in black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would absolutely make the theme of yours come dressed as Stevie. Yeah. Stevie through the ages. Okay, we'll just tell you, this last one I went to, and by winter I mean

wasn't charged of so it was we did the Friday night small version Saturday lunchtime everyone arrives for like picky picky bits lunch buffet it's all just out paper plates for God's sake get paper plates

the bride had said no hendu things but I ignored that instruction and like the cups all said bride squad and the paper plates were pink and I do think they were like a fun little bit of ironic that was actually like okay, actually it's nice.

You don't have to have a penis straw to be like, okay, it's actually lovely to have a bride straw, a bride squad cup. And they can be, they can be objectively ironic and be fun. Yeah, definitely. Piggybit's Lunch, into the garden sometime later for,

it was called Lord of the Tri-Wizard Hungry Squid Games. Okay, yeah, I can see where it's going. And it was a very elaborate, adventure-themed game. Me and my friend Rod, were dressed as, we were wearing the outfits from the second Hunger Games movie, from the 75th annual quarter quell. We were fully wearing those.

Oh my God. And we were dressed, what we thought was like everyone would know who we were. We were dressed as Finnecoderre and Mags. Yeah. Mags. No, in retrospect, why would anyone know who we were? We represented District 4. I was a woman who had been in 50 years ago and then had a stroke and couldn't speak.

Like I was like, I honestly thought everyone, and then we started, it's got it, it came out 10 years ago, the film and it's like such a niche reference to two characters. So we started with him carrying me out of a wood. We played the noise constantly of the like the trumpet noise of like, welcome to the arena, like come and stand out in the collecting area waiting. Then we emerged from a wood, him carrying me on his back. And for a bit that we thought everyone would know was we were chasing some poison, we were being chased by poison fog. Then I got off his back, kissed him. And then. retreated back into the forest to die and the poison fog. Again, we thought everyone would be like, oh, that moment from the movie. I've seen all the films. I don't remember that. Exactly. It was just 30 women being like, what the fuck is this? Where's Tessa got?

Honestly, so. Are you? Dating? Yeah. Who's that? Like, what's happening here? Lots of them were friends from school, but lots of them weren't. And those girls were like, what is this?

Then we had to be like, sorry, put your hands up if you've seen the Hunger Games. Like three women were like, me. A bit? A bit, but like 10 years ago. We were like, who are we? And they were like, cat. Cat. Cat.

Is her name Cat. She's like, her name's Catnice, Edine. And no, I'm not Catanus. Anyway, so that was an early misstep. Okay. But then, glass goldfish bowls to do the reeping. And again, we had to explain to people who'd, the most of the group to be like, right, at the beginning, there's a reaping. You go district just, it doesn't matter.

Right. Representing District 4. And then we'd like carefully thought through who should be in every team. So it's like multiple bits, different people. And then this game, I think, is quite a good one. icebreaker if you're looking for games is everybody stands in a line of like five people everyone's got a piece of paper on their back and the person at the end of the line has to is given a word like a shoe or a tree or a horse or something horse is quite difficult try house and they have to

draw that on the person's back and the person in front then has to like feel what they're drawing and like pass it all the way to the front very good we tested this out in the place in the place everyone was very very good at it and as happened in the plosive office and on the hendoo itself was that people initially were like, okay, like, I'd rather just be drinking than, like, doing this game. Was like, about 30 seconds later, everyone was like, right, if you're in the middle, I need you, what we're going to, and people were like, okay, first shout, left line to the left. And people were, like, thinking of, like, and then everyone was, like, mixing up. So that we did, like, a practice round.

And then we did, like, a head to head against people. And people took it, it immediately shifted the energy of, like, we're bonding, we're making friends. We're, like, we're very competitive. We're doing it. And it was, like, a lovely icebreaker. Great. And then there was, like, various other elaborate games. games one was a blindfolded um obstacle course that like your team which again i do think is very fun um obstacle

course blindfold one member of the group they have to be listening to the instructions you're against the clock put one of the obstacles if you're drinking is um they have to undo a screw top of wine and pour it into a glass blind and then another member of the team has to run forward and like drink it that's and so it's like adding in like it's mess it's bits it's fun it's shouting and like everything that's like anything that can be like we as a team are having to like bond you know and work out how to do things. Then things got more elaborate and you had to

open, you had to collect from the the cornucopia a backpack of equipment but in order to open the backpack of equipment there was a four digit combination padlock there was then a quiz about the bride that had the number each there was a multiple choice answers

and each one was a number so whatever you thought the answer was you put that in as the combination and if you got the combination correct you opened the padlock. What you found was an egg. The egg was blown and so it was hollow. You had to smash open the egg.

It said, can seek us where our voices sound? We cannot sing above the ground. And where are you going? Underwater. Underwater. That's correct. So you're running to the large lake that there was,

or the large pond that there was like in this place that we'd found. You ran to the pond. There was, the glass goldfish bowls were now floating in the middle of the pond. Color coded to your team. You had to pull them in. in there was a walkie-talkie in them. You then had to walkie-talkie back to your team who'd been given a map of like of things to

find around the ground, but you couldn't speech them or see the map and you had to go and find the things. You then ran back. You had batteries, is what you'd found. You ran back and then Rod, he's now got changed out of his Finnicodair costume and is now wearing a full robe and is dressed as the Minister of Magic. Right. Cornelius Fulis.

And he's got the sorting hat up. side down and with things in it and you ran back and then like in the bit of the tribe was a tournament where they had to put their hands in and get their dragon except what you got out was a vibrator there were enormous vibrators then of all different colors and sparkles and things you had to put your batteries into the vibrator then we put them on a piece of corrugated plastic and then they raced down the bottom I when wratt suggested the vibrator racing game I was like over my dead body we're not doing that that's been the funniest thing to watch It was so fantastic.

And also because people were like running in with their batteries, it was like, everyone was already like sweating and then being like, now what? And then the vibrators came out and it was truly joyful. He had got that from a drag queen like competition. And that's the thing. When people are like, oh, I saw this be done and it was fun. Like then people are like, okay, we'll take that as bank, but like that's going to work if we do that.

And then my very last thing, just if you are doing, if you're like looking for games, this is not even Hindu related. It's just a fun thing to do. Not my game. Inherited this from somebody else. His name is Matt, and he have all credit for this game. It's called Bar Crawl. Everyone is put into teams, but like two months in advance,

and you're given a room in the house, and you have to run it as a bar. Oh, my God. So if you had to have a theme, so yours might be, like, Mexican themed, and it's got, like, margaritas and sombrero and the limbo and, like, Mexican music, and you'd, like, decorate it as a Mexican bar,

which is the instruction I put in the email, but then I was, like, we've played this once, and just so you know, the brides was, like, was, like, you had to crawl through a tunnel to, like, get into the brides, and it was like really elaborate and previous bars had included

the Barden of Eden and last night of the siege of Stalingrad so like really commit and that's all the information I gave them and then people at my heart

they just people went to town like people took it so seriously and the moment people started playing I think people had been quite confused about what the game was but then the moment we like got to the first bar and everyone saw all the decoration and the stuff it was a spa bar

and they all have got themselves little matching black dresses and made themselves little printed name tags that said, like, Wellness Manager. And you got, like, a rolled up little heated flannel cloth when you entered, and they had all these, like, smells, and it was, like, playing this, like, tinkling music. And then you got a drink called, like, a colonic irrigation or something. There were always different, like, shots that were themed treatments. And then they, like, took you to the corner and, like, we'd like, a treatment.

And then they all, like, gave you, like, nails, like, did your nails. That's so nice. Or did you a massage or did this, like, Reiki. Like, it was just so sweet. And the next one was, they were all heavily pregnant. So theirs was called scummy mummies. But they were mummies. Egyptian mummies.

Nice. And then there was the Moulon Rouge. Oh, there we go. Then there was a nunnery. Oh, great. And you had to come in, because again, there were so many pregnant women on this dude that it was about like unwed mothers. So he went into like a full, they were like playing Gagorian chant music.

Oh, my God. And you went in and everybody, you had to like repent on the bed while drinking a Guinness. And then you were led one by one into the toilet where our friend was dressed as a monk, but like sat in the shower cubicle all lit up with candles. it was confession. Oh, yes. And then you had to do like a shot with the monk, with the monk. And like, repent a secret or whatever.

And then the very last bar was we went like outside the house and like walked all the way around like in the, it wasn't cold, but like, you know, like, oh, we're in the cold. And then queued up outside what they'd made into a nightclub with like a red rope. And we could hear the music. And then right, he's now dressed as another outfit. He comes out as the like, you know, club manager. And it's like, all right, girls. Like, because it was one in one out.

I'll see if you can get you, you what are your hand do? And we were like, yes, we're on a hand do. And then he's. He gave us a VIP stamp and was like, wow. And so it was such a fun way of being like having, you think like going clubbing is going to be fun. And actually there's 30 of you and actually this is all too much. But you can bring those elements like to the house.

You can like have, you can do all this sort of fun stuff and, you know, and have a party. That's like like most incredible hand-dos I've ever heard. But the thing about the bar, the bar crawl game is like, you just give people, it's like, if you build it, they will come. Like you give people the means to do the thing and people are like, okay. And they'll do it. Yeah.

People go from being like, shall I just be Mexican? the next minute being like, it should be a Catholic nunnery, and you should repent in the toilet. You know, people like just go, yes, and yes, and yes, and yes, and to ideas. I'm like, yeah, it's, yeah. Really fun. Wow. Really impressive. That's, like, that's a penis, um, straw. Oh, yeah. Woo.

And please, if you are organising one, I hope that was helpful. If you thought, if you thought you don't want a hent do, I'd be like, maybe there is a fun version of a hendoo. Oh, it certainly made me be like, oh, hendos can be fun. Oh, they could be nice. They don't have to be awful. It could be nice. I hope that was helpful. And see you next time. See you next time.

Doodoo.