Nobody Panic - How to Organise Your Bedside Table

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

Stevie brings a lot to the (bedside) table in today's existential crisis/light-hearted advice podcast. What is a bedside table? Is yours three apple crates stacked precariously on top of each other, too shallow to hold a book, and too narrow to balance a lamp? This is the podcast for you.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. I'll get that water. Oh, it's glog, glog, glug.

That's slopping on the floor. Both in this mime and in real life, that's gone on my lap. Pop that down. Put that down. I'll drink too hard to the bit. Well, that's actually very real. That's what happened. Last night, just kicked some water at my bedside table.

Today, we are doing the topic that's on everyone's lips. Who among us is not chanting it in the street, begging to hear our hot take on this topic. Or anyone's hot take on this topic. How to organise your bedside table. Start how to have a bedside table, but organise makes more sense and sounds like, you know, there's less problems going on in our lives. We're doing this because I've never managed to have an acceptable bedside table. And I want to ask Esther about hers.

And I thought, let's do it. So, shall we? Now, the bedside table, it really came out of you very hard, the suggestion. Like you really were like... It fell out. We could do this and it came out really fully formed and ready. Yes.

Maybe we could do how to organise the bedside table because I've never had one that's absolutely been properly organised and if I tell you about my bedside table you'd be like, why is that not organised? That sounds like the perfect setup and yet it's still not.

I can't wait to get in here. Oh, yum, yum, yum, let me in there. It's tough a bedside table. Oh, it's just... It feels like it shouldn't be as hard as it is. Whenever I see photos of like interiors on Instagram, their bedside tables are always. immaculate and I'm like that's great and then when I look closer I'm like there's not sort of surface

area to put anything on there whereas you draw yeah or there's one draw you need more or like I don't know that I just fill that immediately so and of course it looks great because there's nothing on it there I think that's something I'm really struggling with with the online content vis-a-vis interior design is that you're like yeah exquisite not functional yes and now you move into the flat with your stuff. So what happens then? Where's the stuff? Because you can't just make a coffee table with a rose and a glass

and then like three big books. Anyway, the point is you're looking at all these lovely, lovely bits and you're like, yeah, obviously we could all do that. The point is we have to live in the space and I can't just make showrooms. They have to be livable.

And I think we're really not in a place of livable content at the moment. what seems to be being pushed towards us is this very like, this handy little thing. And then you're like, right, but how does it, how does it work? Like, it's all very good for your little video, but like that's actually not functional. I hate the, um, it actually stopped. That was the thing that pushed me over the edge to delete TikTok, which was like, um, Sunday resets. I think they were called and it was just loads of people.

They set up a camera in their sort of essentially perfect house, but then would film themselves doing the Sunday reset, hoovering, mopping, moving, and, um, replumping all the cooking. Like, well, it looked perfect before. Yeah. And also, like, I'm tired, so I don't want to do that on Sunday. And why are you making me feel like that's the, like, I'm the laziest person in the world when, like, it's so achievable because I'm watching them, I'm watching them hoover. I'm watching them go along and sort of, like, why can't I do that? Because you can't fake the fact that your house does look like that. No, you can't. You can because you just move all of your belongings to one side of the room.

Fuck me. And you create one perfect corner. I think I can do that. Yeah, right. I didn't want to go. I'd be a little weird. Yeah, sure. But imagine if you're making content.

Yes, the content's great. Making content isn't living. You know, it's making these like fake corners, fake bits, fake things. And what we are currently being sold and what we're all addicted to is watching people living better lives than us. And us being like, oh God. You know, and we're so addicted to. with that feeling of inadequacy.

Yeah, thinking, if only I just, like, you know, spent six hours cleaning every Sunday, like, I could. Like, yeah, you could. Yeah. But you don't. You'd be sad. So, welcome to the podcast. I would like to pivot at this point from my adult thing.

Yes. And just share some facts. The most adult thing you've done this week is a little thing, a little series that we like to start of every episode. And Tessa had decided to pivot. I have decided to pivot. I actually wanted to use this in our Valentine's Day episode. It was one of those lovely episodes where we begin light and we, and it turned dark. It wasn't dark.

It just took an interesting emotional turn. So I missed saying what I wanted to tell you all a pointless little fact about Valentine's Day. But I like it so much, I'd like to share it with you now, which is that Valentine's Day, the 14th of February, celebrated around the world. In South Korea, you know, sometimes you receive a cultural fact on Wikipedia. Absolutely. And for the people internally, they're like, yeah, it says that, but we don't actually do it. Yes, absolutely. I'm just beginning the caveat with that.

But nonetheless, in South Korea, girls give Valentine's Day cards, roses and chocolates, to boys. So it's very much a girls to boys thing. But then it is followed by March the 14th, the following month, with a custom that began in Japan, in the late 1970s, but spread to South Korea. And so we are but days away from March the 14th now. Here it comes. It's called White Day. Oh, hello. And this is when boys who received a gift one month ago must return the gesture with their own gifts of chocolates or sweets.

Oh. But it says it began as a way of simply showing your thanks for whatever you had received. And it was sort of compulsory to return that reciprocate. It says, however, today it is yet another opportunity for couples to show off. It always is. It always is. What holiday isn't? Exactly.

Since Smithons. Sorry. Since Smithins, of course, constantly. Lovers. God damn them. But then it is followed one month later on April the 14. Oh my God, there's so many. It keeps on going.

Christ. By Black Day, can you believe? And Black Day is when singles, those who received neither a gift on Valentine's nor on White Day, gather together wear all black, paint black nail varnish and wear black jewelry. I would love this day. Right?

And eat a type of noodles in black bean sauce, a particularly like a cheap and cheerful dish that would be associated with a comfort dish and they gather together and cheer for the unattached those who are proud of their independence and consider this day a time to honour themselves

well that's nice isn't it nice though it is also used as a chance for couples to show off no not on Black Day you must respect the unattached that's for them and them only but then couples have the other

then South Korea got so into it that they made 12 days of love and they were like, well, we've already got these three going on the 14th. Let's keep it on. May the 14th, yellow day. Oh no. Give your lover something yellow. That seems like a stretch. I know. It quickly tails away. After like, oh, that's fun. Valentine's, the reciprocal day and then the celebration for singles, a bit of fun. I think we should have paused there, South Korea, if we may. But no, I think it is a similar energy of the Instagram sales, the singles day,

they're being told, you know, treat yourself, treasure yourself, get all these things. It's time to treat yourself. If you just get this, then it'll fix the void. That'll do it. That'll sort you out.

Of course, if you're saying, there's a void. No, no, I meant your bedside table, or you're just general life. You know, like, if you buy this candle or these bits or this organiser or this storage hack, like here is, we are but one sale away from your personal void being filled. Yeah, Jesus.

It's fucking Christ. Describe the table to me, what are we working with. Oh, okay. So after... Oh. Right. So, last table, you would appreciate this. Last table, last house.

Last table, last flat. Moved into this flat with that table and thought, you simply have to get yourself together. Last table. Last table was an upturned apple cart on its side. What's an apple cart? So it just said apple cart on the side. Apple box.

It said Apple cart on the side. Apple crate. Apple crate. It said crates. So like thin, space between. Space between. And it says apple cart on it. Yeah, because I think it was one of those, it was from like Wayfar or something.

It wasn't really like. Fake. Fake one. Fake, uh, coven garden apples. I mean, it probably did say common garden apples on it. I've got a complete purchase on it and I'm in. I love that for you. I thought, this will be great. What I'll do is I'll buy three of them.

Put them on their side horizontally. Yep. So you've got shelves. Yes. What I didn't think is they just fall off. Sure. Each other. The shelves on.

regulation, you can't fit books in them because the shelves are too narrow. Or they're for apples. They're famously for apples. They're going to take to the market, of course. Yeah, to take to the Copenhagen market. And then at the top, I was like, well, that'd be good because then the top bit will be the surface area of my, you couldn't balance anything on it, couldn't put a lamp on it, couldn't put anything on it.

I had that for four years. So what was on anything on the top? A lamp that was, I would say, propped up against the wall behind it and half on the apple cart. And then every week, I would wake up and try to get my phone. something and just upset the apple cart the apple crates. Oh yeah, the word crate is what we needed.

Yes, because cart is a trolley, isn't it? Yeah, cart is wrong, and yet it has all the right letters. It does, yeah. Oh, yeah. So is the top got slats in it? Yes, so it couldn't fit anything on. You couldn't place anything that would drop through. Drop through.

Yeah, onto the books I couldn't put in there. Yeah. So it was like the books were sort of horizontal as well, so it just looked very, very messy. And this was very sad because this was the first time I'd had a flat that I wasn't moving every like six months. So I was like, moving with my boyfriend and was like, right, we're going to be here for as long as we can. So Apple Crates, where have they gone? Gone? No, as an apple crates were for that flat. I was like, we're going to be here forever or for a long time.

So Apple Crates go in. I'm going to, I'm going to fashion myself the perfect bedside table. Great. And that was what I did. Yes, perfect. And it was Apple Crates. It was Apple Crates, which I could put anything on, put anything in, and kept falling off. So the whole thing was a disaster. The one reason I did it was because I was like, I could slip the charger through one of the slats. That'd be clean, wouldn't it? That'd be clean? It was, but I kept losing the phone through the slats as well.

Right. Because it would go like that. Okay. Yeah. And I'd be like, oh, that's very clean, off it goes. That's gone. That's down. Just disaster.

But rather than be like, well, this experiment has failed, I was like, well, I've seen people with this. I saw it on Instagram. So I'm just not, like, my comportment around. the apple crates is obviously wrong. Yeah. I'm not bringing the right energy to the crates. What does comportment mean?

Basically, I like it. I like it. Like at a finishing school. Sort of, yeah. Yeah, you're being too rambunctious around the apple crates. Yes, I need to... Yes, so I thought it was me and I was bringing the wrong energy to the apple crate. Yes.

It's so boring, like the amount of times I say things with this podcast, it's just like, yeah, you know, the people said the greatest characters that are created in fiction, you could put them in any situation you know exactly. how they'll react. I'm so fucking predictable that I will buy a bedside table and be like and it's a bunch of crates and then go

well I suppose it's my department that is yeah it's so boring whereas I would be like well get the wood glue out yes you'd make yeah and then I glue them together this is the best thing that's ever happened but then I glue yourself to the apple crates and then I wouldn't reveal I'd done it and I'd

really hurt myself and I'd never tell anyone how I got the injury yes and I'd be like well the phone keeps slipping through. So what we'll do is we'll glue the cable through and up and we'll make all these bits. Then we'll just make it worse and worse and worse. I think that sounds quite good. But that's because I'm coming from it from my angle,

which is just like, what's wrong with me? Looking at some apple crate. Sure. So obviously this went through lockdown as well. It was a one bed flat. So like it was a big part of my life, these apple crates just falling over. And my partner being like,

do you want to buy a bedside cabinet? So three on top of each other and would they tumble? Constantly. Got it. but they wouldn't fall like, do-do-do, they just go, oh, and they're just like, lean on the back of the wall. So every time my phone alarm would go, it would be like this. And then me go, oh, God, oh, no, it's fall.

What's wrong? What's wrong? My comportment. Every single one. Okay. So we moved to the new house. We moved to the new flat. This is maybe three years ago.

We moved to the new flat. I'm like, okay, they're not coming with me. No. They actually did remain. Then I got this hand-me-down thing. and it's a little kind of three wicker drawers and like a dark wood frame and like, you know, a little square on the top.

Basically, it's solid. It came to you, it came to you. It came to you. It looked new, like basically, like a bedside building. But they didn't buy it for you specially. They didn't know. Do you want this? And I was like, that would be a really good bedside table.

It's got three big, and the drawers are very deep. The problem is, is the surface area of the top of the bedside table is enough for a lamp. But for some reason, the lamp falls off anyway. And also it's too tall for my phone charger to my plug socket. So I still have to put my phone on the floor. And I panic and I don't know what to put in the drawers. So the drawers are empty.

Okay. My phone can't go on it. My lamp falls off it. Got it. But there's nothing wrong with it. Like, it's like it looks like what, but I can't, I'm not making good use of the drawers. It tips backwards because of not, it's like having, when like a tote bag falls off your arm because you've not got anything in it. There should be things in the drawers,

but the drawers are emptying. So it's too light, so it's tipping. But there must be some gravitational impetus for it to tip. The large robot lamp that I've got on the top of it, which I don't want. And that's weight so it's tipping constantly. It's tipping, yeah. Okay. Take that off probably immediately. I can hear myself speaking now. Do you want the robot light? It's, it's my husband's right. I hate it. But I also, it's like, it's got a little face and I feel sorry for it. Okay, but it needs to go in another room. Yeah. It does not serve you in your bedroom. It doesn't. It has to go. Oh, God. Okay, yeah. I do have a good

lamp I'd like to put on there. What, it's in a part of the house? It's sort of in a cupboard. Right. Robot on top of a shelf, to be nice, into the living room. But he doesn't look good in the living because it looks like a child's lamp. Okay, just different room for him for the minute. Okay. Lamp out of the cupboard. Yeah. On to the top. Okay. And it's tipping over purely because of the robot,

or do you kick it? This, this, this. No, I don't kick it. Is your comportment affecting this? I think my comportment is better. around it. Okay. Yeah. My issue is, is that there's not anything in the drawers. So I don't, so it's,

it's, the whole thing is not, it's quite light, sort of cheap thing. It's not like a very heavy wood thing. It's probably not even proper wood. Okay. So it needs, I need, I want to put things in the drawers. Okay. But I don't really have anything to put in the drawers. It was, I, like, I cleaned them out when I moved, well, because I moved in the new year and I was like,

what's in the drawers? It was all like a shoelace. Yeah, bits. Bits. some bunting from a birthday You thought, tied it that way, that's in the door. Greetings cards, you know. Okay, do you have more to express? I've stained the top of it.

On purpose? No. Gosh, okay. With a bottle of nail varnish removal and it's sort of just completely, so I've got big rings on it. Why was a nail varnish remover? I'll take my nails, of course.

Yeah, but on... And I decided I'd take the nail varnish off. But you were doing it in bed? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And what else is on the top? Oh, uh, lamp, little jar.

I'm very proud of this. I've got a little jar that when I'm like taking my hair bubbles out and my clips, I put it in there rather than just go like, take them out and then be like, well, enough fast they've gone. So then the next morning I'm like, oh, the clips, they're there. They're the clips. Wonderful, that's excellent. And that stays up and that's not tipping.

It tips. It tips. But I balance it against the robot's legs. And what do you think is causing that to tip? I think it's the, I think. I think it's just the hands coming in. Is that fair or is that coming in? I did have a wooden hand on top of it, but it kept falling over.

What was the wooden hand for? Fun. What? I just meant your hands, but there's also another wooden hand on that. There's a wooden hand on that. I was like, that'll be fun to put rings on and stuff. But it's very light. That was falling over.

That's why it was. So nothing was starting. And what else is on the top? I managed to put my phone on it, but I can only put my phone on it, like, on the edge, right on the edge. So then at night, it just falls on the floor. Why is it on the edge? Because I got on the phone. Because of that hand.

Because if the plug socket, it's too far away to stretch. But I don't want it to be off the floor. So it goes like that and then it falls every night. Okay. Okay. Okay. Right. I do like invoices and stuff.

I don't, I'm a proper. human being. I don't understand. But that's the thing. What is your problem? What is your problem? No. Like,

what is the message of like, so much of this podcast is literally like, here are your skills and here are your things that aren't your skills. And sometimes you've just got to know like, huh, not for me. You know, like,

I'm with this is, and also like, I have to have a bedside table. Of course you. I'm not saying, no, I'm not saying, no bedside table. I'm just saying what you're attempting here.

You're like, why isn't it working? But I think we just need to totally reassess the whole situation. Okay. I think this is, Should I get rid of the bedside table and start afresh psychologically? Absolutely. A hundred percent.

So pop that on gumtree. Okay. Let that go. I'm so stained though, but yeah, okay. Well, if somebody wants it, if somebody wants it. And then at least it feels like you're like, and goodbye, thank you because it was given to you as a gift. So it feels like there are a number of things on there, the robot, the things, the stuff that are like, you're given to you that shouldn't be directly there beside your bed. Yeah.

So I'm thinking that space is maybe an issue in the bedroom that like maybe you're knocking into stuff. Currently, yes, so I'm moving. So I don't know what that would be like. But I think every bedroom I've ever been in, really, we kind of get the biggest bed we can for that room. Absolutely, you must. And then there's a space either side. And it's never like a huge amount of space.

So, really exciting. New bed, new space, new starting afresh. Okay, yeah. Okay, so a new bedside table. Now, this is the other problem. Okay, please, ready. Is that, so I've bought like three. Yeah.

In the last two years. No, I just keep buying cabinets. Okay. Because I'm like, this is a good cabinet. And then it arrives and it's insane. Okay. So the one that I've got that I can swap it with is like a very tall but incredibly thin. Okay.

So when you open it, the door is, you can put, there's no shelves. It's just one very long hollow. I don't know why. Okay, so how narrow are we talking? Let's hear this narrow. 15 centimeters. Yeah, you can't put. So what I was thinking, I was like a...

So in the picture online when you bought it, what inspired you? What did you think, oh, that'll be good? What did you think you would go in there? In the long hollow? It's like a different person buys them. That one, I was like, well, there's not... I don't want three drawers because I'm overwhelmed because I don't have anything to put in them. Okay.

So one hollow, that's doable. And then I thought, well, it's always going to be a small amount of space. So small hollow, so it doesn't fill the whole space. Okay. But I can't... But also, it's too tall. to even put my phone even a bit on it. Okay. Okay. So, okay, so, and I don't think you knew it was tall. Was that fair to say when it

before it arrived? I mean, I did measure and I thought, yeah, that's fine. Right, okay. But, okay, sometimes measurements aren't your strongest. I think every time they're not my strongest. Yeah. Or for that. Yeah. So I look at it and I go, yes, that's a met, that looks like that would be a bedside table. That looks right. And then, and the surface area on top of the cabinet is smaller than the one I've got and I can't fit anything on that one. And also it's, I, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's in the living room now that long, the long hollow. And it's not got anything in it or on it.

Do you know what that, that needs to go? In the bin. No, on gum tree. On gum tree. Just off he goes. He needs to go. Okay, so you said you bought three. What's the next one?

Um, the next one was like another sort of, uh, experimentation with crates. But that was very quickly, um, uh, jettisoned. And taught me through, is that just like fun, that's vintage. Yeah. And I'll glue them together. together this time. The slats are less and they look bigger. But the aesthetic of the crates, that appeals to you?

It did, but then when I looked at it, I was like, I actually don't like that. No. It's not really very me, but I don't really know what my interiors is. And lo, there's the hit of the whole fruit. This is the hit of the whole fruit. So, like, I, because, and it all came down to, it all stemmed from. It all stemmed from. When I moved into the flat, I'm from the inn, I had, I really, I had, I really,

with one's own. I had my own office that would, they add, and my partner had his, and it was like, I can decorate this and do whatever I want in this room. Great. I was like, this would be great, and I didn't deal with it very well. I was like, yeah, I'm going to really like discover my interior

style. I'm going to experiment with this. And then the first thing I got was like a fucking shell shaped forest green and gold office chair that I'd, I didn't realize, but I'd seen so much on Instagram. And it was really uncomfortable and hurt my back.

So I was like, well, it was like 140 pounds. And then I just got, and then I just, and then I found one of the sort of like these kind of proper, like, ugly, sorry, but like comfy, like chairs. And downstairs by the bin. Fantastic. Raw that up. I was like, this is the bet. This is so nice.

Okay. But then from then on, I've been like, oh, no, everything I choose is because I've seen it on Instagram rather than like my own personal choice. We did a game over Christmas when my sister came home, which was like, let's go on YouTube and and find each of our perfect houses. So Gina found one and it was like loads of plants and like it was in Australia actually, I think. And it was like, well like it was just very, very hurt. And it was really like interesting looking and whatever.

And then when it came to me, it was like, I don't know, like a goth, like a goth house. It was like, no, that's because I wear black clothes. Like I don't want to live in a goth house. Okay. And then I said like, this is my aesthetic a lot. And then, yeah, everyone believed me. And I felt like I'd lied because I had. You've lied to yourself

Yes Okay, lot going on Lot going on Yeah Yeah Maybe I should relax about The fact that I'm being advertised to Close the word about

I should relax Full stop Yeah go on Relax about what The idea About the fact that people are Advertising and swaying my interior's

Opinions I should think I care enough About what a cabinet looks like So then I just get overwhelmed When I You go in the website And it's like There's like

4,000 cabinets And you're like, they're just carbonates. I totally get it. Okay, I do have some thoughts. Okay. I have one last question, which is taught me through the drawer situation. What is it that you feel that you don't have anything to put in the drawers? Well, the drawers is empty.

And the long hollow's empty. Are there other drawers in your house? Yeah. And you feel fine to fill those. But there's something about filling a bedside table drawer. I'm not good at drawers. So we've got drawers in the house, but I think that they're my partner's domain. So I think you probably struggle a bit when like things are in the drawer.

You're like, what's in there? like 100%. So you like to be able to see all the things. Yes. So a draw to you is like, that's going to be, that's the danger zone for me. That's going to be full of shoelaces and bits. I don't want to be able to hide things away. Yes.

I need just like, cleanliness and out on the surfaces. Yeah. I don't need this. So let's be like, great. We don't need a thing with a hidden turmoil. And I always like, no, it's there. And I'm like, that's my secret. Is there's a horrible drawer over there.

Would it? Would it please you to have a draw that was a good, clean space? Oh my God. I would love that. Okay. And what, when you imagine pulling it open, what's in there. Can you see anything? Oh, like bits, like all my note books. Okay. I basically have this image where I'm like, oh, I've got to get that thing and then I'm like, oh, it's in that draw.

Can you say what the thing is before we go there? Passport? Do you know, that's what I was thinking as well? Okay. So what if the draw, the bedside table draw is a just like important document. Like it's like passport, it's like you're anything nice that needs to go and it's like neat. It's like, where's my... This thing, look, passport and then you're like, well, what else? Mark my tax documents, my cervical smear reminders. Do you know I haven't got any further than passport? So what if we just put the passport in the drawer? Yeah, that's fine.

What if it's completely clean draw? Just a passport in it. Take me! Right, and then when you're like, people are like, where's your passport? You're like, I do know. In the drawer. And then, but don't you get it? Because when you open it, that will look mad.

Yeah, you can't know what's in there. It'll be like when you go to a hotel and there's just the Bible in the drawer. But it's your passport. I've got my old passport. So I've got two passports. So you open this drawer. It's white. It's clean.

It's immaculate. And there's just two parts. Is your passport in a case or anything nice like that? I think it's in a cage. No. Maybe I'd do that. Not if you don't want it. I don't.

That's perfect. See? I've got a war and peace book that's hollowed out. Yep. With like some sort of like shit in it from a long time ago that I don't really know what it is like rocks and stuff. I could put that in there. Would that please you? I don't know.

Okay, just precious things. Yeah. Okay. I think let's let's be clear with our category. Otherwise you'll just start putting precious stuff in it. So about precious. It's about the passports. It's about important documents.

But the passport can go inside war and peace if that would bring you happiness. Okay, so we've got a bedside table. It's got one drawer. Okay. Would two be too much? I think, yeah. I cannot have it where it's got a draw and then like that space there? No space.

What the fuck is that? Like, what are you supposed to put in there? Don't worry, we're not going to have that. Okay. I'm just seeing if you need two drawers. Maybe. Don't say maybe. Yes.

Okay, perfect. Two drawers. Yes. Because then we've solved one. Yeah, and maybe it could be the sentimental. War and Peace. War and peace. Rocks.

And it's just for treasures. No shoelaces. Yeah, but that's so hard because the treasures always becomes shoelaces for some reason. But it's fine. I can sort that out. I think I'm like a horder, but very quietly. I'm trying to fight against my nature and the bedside table is the front line. I'm going to call it one drawer.

Thank you. I'm going to make the decision for us. I immediately feel good about that. I've been released from the two drawers situation. Thank God. One drawer has just got two passports in it. That's it. That's it. It's white. It's immaculate. Almost pointless.

It's not pointless. Because you don't know where your passport is. Yeah, that's true. Okay. Right. What are you going to do with your phone charger? Well, what about if I put like sleep like, like sleep accoutrements in there? So like headphones for when I'm sitting. Eye mask. Gorgeous.

Now what? Melatonin. Two drawers. They cannot combine. Neer the Twain shall meet. Two passports alone staring up. Next draw. Sleep accoutrement.

Okay. We have, this is what you've got to keep these. I've got to categorize. categorized. Very clear. Only sleeper-a-cutra-Mort in here. Okay. Okay. And that's perfect because it's for the bed. It's for the bed. These are the right things in the right place. Okay. You've done really well. I'll have to get rid of the little robot lamp, don't I? Yeah, he's going to a different room. Don't stress about him. He's just going to a different room. I feel like the robot lamp is known for ages that I don't want him. So I overcompensate by being like, yeah. And I'm like,

yeah, no, he can go by my bed. Because I was like, he knows that I want him gone. And now for about five, six, seven years I've had the robot lamp. Okay. And that's enough time to say, how would you feel if robot didn't come with us to the next house? Sorry, I'm not talking about my partner. He does not care. I'm feeling like the robot lamp. I feel like the robot lamp. I need you to give me the robot lamp. At our next session, I need you to bring me the robot lamp. Next session. Okay, yeah. I did say that. I did say that. And to be honest, I asked for that. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Next time we record, I need you to bring me the robot lamp.

Okay. And trust that I, I won't let him go anywhere that he isn't loved and cherished. Okay. And I swear that to you. But you are incapable of letting him go. So give him to me. Okay. Okay? Yes. I think this is the bedside table.

It should be no hollow underneath, just four legs. Oh, yes. Sturdy, almost like actually quite hard to lift. He's so heavy. Heavy, yes. The heaviest motherfucker we can find. Okay. Oak.

Okay. I'm going to put him in white. What do you think? No, I'm going to go dark wood. Gorgeous. Dark oak is strong. He's sturdy. He just has four legs going up like a table.

So there's nothing underneath. Underneath here, it's just clean. Okay. Totally clean. It's just clean. Then we have one beautiful, oh, sorry, two drawers. Yes. One, sleep accruedement.

One, passport. Gorgeous. Then, a huge surface area. Too much surface area. Bigger than the room. Absolutely massive. Yes. And on that, we have one lamp.

Yes. How do you feel about candles? Love them. One candle, unlit, purely a show candle. Okay. Candle in candle holder. Yeah. Possibly a crystal.

I've got a candle holder. That is a crystal. Wow. We're finding solutions left right and center. Yes. And then, so that's the lamp. The candle, the crystal, and the phone. The little jar with my hair clips.

Open the drawer for a sleeper-coutre-in-go-the-tip clips. She closes the drawer, it's bedtime. Lamp, crystal, phone. Only thrice shall I hit the top. Only three things up there. Okay, that's fine. I can do that. Your water come, what's coming to the, what's coming in the water. Camar tea, water, other tea, some more water.

My bedtime gummies as well. They're in the sleeper-coutrema. Okay, so draw something, and then the top is nice and big, and it's wood, so even if it does get stained and thing, it doesn't matter, it's just going to add to the aging process. You know, there's the bits on it. Put a little coaster on there. Gorgeous, but we're not going to stress too much about the top. It's a good, sturdy oak that's like, yeah, mess me up, I'm ready for it. Yeah, it'll look distressed. I'm not distressed. I'm ready to be lived in. I'm for living. I'm not to be taking, you know, I'm not to be precious around.

You can't tip me. Try, motherfucker. Stay me. I'll go through the wall if you tip me. The every thing you ever felt. Okay, then the phone. And I suspect the plug in the bedroom will be in a weird place. What are we going to get? Extension cable. And then we're going to get an eight-foot plug. A charger.

No, a massive eight-foot plug. Really short wire. Tiny, tiny charger. UK regulations out of the window. It's such a fire hazard. No, really, really long cable. Then we are going to put a bit of masking tape over the plug. Oh.

Things to be like, this doesn't leave the room. This cable is for... What do you mean? Masking tape. Why will that sort of leaving the room? masking tape over the plug on the plug socket. It's just to stop you every day being like... Yes, remind me like...

The masking tape is there to be like, no. I've got one phone charger. I should have two. I should have one that's out and about. What, exactly. And so like that one does, then you're not rumbling under the bed every day, putting your charger in.

It's like that's masking taped in, that stays. Okay. Long, long, charger. What we can do, I'll come around and help. We're going to get like a little copper clip that you use for piping.

I wondered when copper was going to come up. There it comes. And piping. Yeah. But it's so small. We're going to put the cable through it. Then we're going to attach it to the oak cabinet, bedside table. And so then it means it can't get lost under the bed.

It's just half it's there. It doesn't, can't run back through it and disappear. It's always just like, where's my cable? Oh, here it is. Okay, great. It's right there. It's always available. And that's your topper.

Thank you. There's no other display books. There's no hand. There's no robot. There's no stuff because those can go on shelves or book shelves. Or get rid of them. Yeah. But your lovely decorative things aren't for the bedside table.

That's purely for sleep and practical and practical. and clean. Thank you so much. This is really helped. I can't wait to come around and help with this. I'm going to like fully revolutionise my life. I think so too. You've done really well today. I'm going to see your own next session. I'm absolutely exhausted. What a lot we pushed through today. We really did. And also when we paid there was like, let's just do something light and fun. And then it was this. I knew it would be like, it's like the bath one. I was like, I had to have a bath and I was like, I think I cried in it. Yeah, yeah. It's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot. Like, life is a lot.

Life is a lot. What can we learn if not that life is a lot? Get some copper thing, piping clips. Don't focus on that. Don't focus on that part. And put... Don't focus on that. Don't focus that. Along with your robot. Oh my God.

Goodbye everybody. Okay. Okay. Well, I imagine we'll be doing a part two of this. Okay, goodbye everyone. See you next week.