Nobody Panic - How to Pack for a Holiday

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

To roll or not to roll? Stevie and Tessa look at how to pack for a holiday, striking that balance between “buying little packing squares” (achievable) and “putting your necklaces in straws” (who does that). Contains some genuinely helpful advice and Tessa’s life is somewhat changed by the concept of laying clothes on the bed before they go in the case.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Ben Williams and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Moving on the Greece holiday if you're going to Greece, for example. That's what they say.

That's what they say. But also, hello and welcome to Nobody Panic. A podcast. A how-to podcast, may I add. We're feeling fresh. Tess has been, she's brushed her hair. Right. Right, up top, let's discuss.

If you are on the social medias, you will see that we've branched into video work. Little clips of the podcast. Just little clips of 30-second clip. Bit of fun, a fun, a fun. Fun for me. It's what all the people are doing. Yeah. Stevie looks like the most glamorous girl you've ever seen

You'd be like, wow, there she is. Look at her running a podcast. And then I would say I look like a, I just described it this morning to Stevie as a very unwell woman that Stevie found in the park. My hair wasn't, it was obviously deep winter when these cameras arrived. Yeah. Sort of unbeknownst to me.

It was a couple of months ago, so it was sort of spring, but it felt like winter. But why do you look so unwell? Right, Stevie. I'm wearing so much grey. I look grey. My hair is grey. The light, so what we've discovered is, there was, now there's new light, there was light on me and not on you.

Yes, that doesn't help. But I didn't notice that. I saw the last... Yours was much lower, if I may, and mine was much higher and directly down. Yes, or actually opposite, mine was directly down and yours was like face on like this. So you kind of looked quite... Unwell. I didn't notice the lighting. I did think, oh, I've got to tell her to brush her hair. And then our producers were like, gosh, her boobs are out. Can we put this out? Listen, maybe some of you are like, oh, good that she's acknowledging it. Yeah, we all thought it.

I'm wearing these dungarees. I don't know why I haven't got more clothes on underneath. The camera is so up high and honestly, it looks like my boobs run a podcast. They are so big. Dungarees are famously sort of not booby clothes. I know. Your boobs are coming over the top of the dungare. It's wild.

The more I think about it, the funny room is. And like, none of us had mentioned it. No, I just seen it at the time. No, no. That's the thing. I was like, why did we not stop me at the time? but I don't think anyone knew. No, no.

And then, but we didn't mention it when the clip came out, but then it has been revealed this morning that in the office, it was discussed at length. Listen, so if you're here for the boob content. She looks very glamorous and her boobs have been packed away in the suitcase. They're up to the neck. I'm up to the neck today. My hair is brushed.

But today we are doing how to pack for a holiday. Before we get into it, though, what's the most adult thing we've done this week? What is it? What's yours? Do you have one? It's technically that I've brushed my hair today. You know what? Years ago, I was in the evening standard when my first Edinburgh show came back to Soho.

And there was a little picture of me, but the press photo. Clang, clang, clang. And you're there. I'm wearing those purple dungarees. It's the, from our very first ever photo shoot. And I'm looking up. You look beautiful. I look lovely. And my hair is crucially very brushed in it. And I, when the evening stand it came out, I was carrying several copies of it home very proudly. and then I stopped in my local fish and chip shop, The Mermaid, in Clapton Pond, which I was a regular frequenter of. And they said, why have you got so many things? And I said, I'm in it. And I showed them on these two lovely men who ran the fish and chip shop, I showed it them.

And I put it out on the content and I had a picture of them, like, looking at it. And then they go, is this you? Incredible. And I was like, yeah, that's me. And then they look each other and they go, you have got to brush your hair. Really? They were like, sorry, you who come in here, like, with your hair and, like, tied up with a pair of pants, looking so unwell all the time in getting your small chips to go. Like, so, they were like, come on.

Anyway, I guess that's mine. Hair is brushed today. Feeling nice, feeling fresh. Feeling so fresh. How you feeling? Got an adult thing? I do have an adult thing. I've got a really fun adult thing.

You're joking. That is not a hashtag spawn, hashtag ad. So, as we've spoken about at length in the past, we do our nails, don't we do our nails. We do your nails. Now, I don't want to be, I don't want to piss all over everyone's hands here. But I found that there was a study recently that was quite extensive about how they simply don't know about that UV lamp. There's about that and cancer. So there's been a huge study done and they've basically concluded that we're not going to know until like another 10 years.

But the scientists who conducted the study was sort of disturbed enough that she said, So everyone listening, if you get, you know, wear SPF on your hands when you get your nails done. And also it doesn't penetrate the actual nail. So don't worry about your nails. It's just your hands. But she stopped getting her nails done with the UV lamp. And that's the one that ran the study. So I was like, oh, for God's sake.

So I was talking about a lot. And then I started, obviously, my phone was listening, getting these Instagram targeted adverts for like alternatives. And I was about like, oh, yeah, fine. I'm not getting drawn in. And then someone did say to me, this one particular brand worked. So I got it sent to me. And it's basically like 70 pounds, which is like, God, that's a lot. However, considering you get your nails done, I don't know, once a month or whatever, if it worked, it would save me money.

So it's called glamour. So G-L-A-M-R dip. And it's called Glamour dip because it involves a dipping motion. Okay. Now, I won't go through the whole process because it will take ages, but like it takes a while to get your head around it. And it's quite fiddly. And it involves lots of, like, rereading the instructions. and but I, so everyone had told me it was really hard, so I basically set aside like a few hours.

I like put some candles on. I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to do this by the letter and I did it and it's a little bit messy. But for my first go, this is two weeks in and one pinged off this morning, which is basically the same as shalak. But it genuinely works and I feel such a great sense of satisfaction. Sorry, so are those not your nails? So these are acrylic tips. But also you can do it without acrylic tips, so you can just do them normal shalac on your actual nails. That's like the maybe intermediate level. But I was like, no, I'm going straight in for tips as well. So these are all acrylic tips that I've glued on.

And then I've also dipped. And it's a powder that you dip. And you basically just like do loads of layers of the powder. There's no UV lamp. And then you kind of paint over the top. And it stays for age. Wow. I would say for you maybe, like, it's a no.

It's very, very. As I was listening to the description, I was like, it's already a past from me. It's already a pass from you. But like, I'll be Factor 50 dripping into the place. But like, yeah, I've decided it. For you, I'm thrilled. Thank you. This is the first time

I'm going to keep going on my journey. Very exciting for me. Wow, what a pair of glamorous ladies we are. Glamorous dip ladies. Okay. So our nails are done. Our nails are done.

Our hair is brushed. Our hair is brushed. We're covered in Factor 50, but only on the hands. Only on the hands, of course. So, yes, we're ready to pack. Now, I'm currently in this process. Please.

I'm about to pack for holiday. Just surfing the web for some hacks, you know. And what I'd say, 50% of them absolutely deranged. Okay. Things like, do you not want your necklaces to get tangled? I don't, no, thank you.

None of us do. Simply pack them in a straw. I'm not doing that. I already have questions. All of them in one straw together? I imagine it's one straw per necklace. That's sort of... How many straws do we just have lying around our house?

Oh, they're illegal now, of course. Of course they're illegal. So you've got maybe one reusable one, max. Okay, give me another one. What else you got on there? Take a roll of duct tape. Oh, you have what for? If your suitcase lock breaks,

I don't have a suitcase lock. Right. I'm not, I'm not, on my five. The zip shirt. Duck tape will hold it together. Suitcase cracked. Duct tape to the rescue. What have you done to your suitcase and you cracked it?

Stop, stop, stop like throwing your suitcase at walls. Need to label an item as your property. Use duct tape and a Sharpie pen. Like, we're not at boarding school. Right. I imagine you just label everything at boarding school. Famously. Famously.

Broken sandals. Buy some more. But no, crank up the style with your luminous duct tape. I don't think that. I think that's a hack. Crank up the style? Yeah. What do you mean luminous duct tape?

I mean, I think this, it's a go-at-a-joke. But, like, I also believe that if you- It's a go-at-a-joke, the most damning criticism that's ever been ruined. But I also believe that the kind of main issue with this hack is that if you're going through security and you've got a role of duct tape, like you look like you're going to kill somebody. No, they would be very ready for the duct tape. That is very much an adventurous and climates. thing. So like if you were doing it,

Fottaventura. Yeah. No one is in Forteventura within duct tape. But I do think people do travel with duct tape. I know a man who's in charge of search and rescue and he's always... That's a very different. This is not how to pack if you're a met part of searching. I know, but I just mean like I think this is a misstep,

the duct tape information. Okay, fine. This is for a higher a higher group. I think people find packing so, so hard that there are so many of these insane suggestions and also we become obsessed with watching like a packing video and remember when we became obsessed with them

I'm going to say Victoria Derbyship is not who I mean. The woman in the paper who was like I roll up my knickers and put them in the coffee. The coffee filters. Emily Maitlis. Oh it was, yeah and she has like a different coloured of the same dress.

She has three dresses of the same dress. For one for war. One for war. One for the royal family. One for night. So she's reflective. The one white. Because it shows him on camera.

It was the one for the same one as the royal family. It was the dark for respective... The dark blue was no. Dark red blue for respectable occasions. The bright white was for night. Yeah. And then bright red was for press conferences. So they would say the lady in the red dress.

And then her other thing was that she rolls her pants and puts them in the... Now, I'm not going to say it, but it's that coffee pot. Why aren't you going to say it? Because I always say it wrong. Cafeteria. Yeah, absolutely perfect. Is that right? Yeah.

And said with the casual throwaway... It's a woman who casually says, That's that all the time. Give it a little run-up, as we all do. Then a quick gesture. And then stare you dead in the eye after I say it. Is it? Is it a little run-up into the word?

Anyway, she had all these packing tips we were very taken with it. And I think there is, as with a lot of the sort of the organising, there's a real fetusisation of this sort of packing cubes, feel like they've come to the fore. Packing cubes are so helpful if you are. For example, my sister, who comes from Australia to England for like three weeks, has various jobs, different types of jobs. She has to live out of a suitcase in my flat for like a month. So helpful for her to be like, oh, all of my formal, formal wear, you know, the formal word that she does.

All my dressy clothes for war and the respect of dress. And then the queen. And then she also has like all her underwear and another one. So that's helpful. But for a holiday, you don't really need to do that because when you get to your holiday, place, you unpack. Like, you don't have to keep them in the cube. Well, what if you don't unpack? Well, that's, I would say, number one tip is unpacked. I don't think I ever will. Right. I just can't because then it's lost. Where are you putting it? It's on the floor. It just stays in

the suitcase. No, as in, why do you think it would be lost if you put it in the cupboard? Experience. I've only ever unpacked once. I left it all there. But you will be, you may be holidaying with other people so you can say, like, can you make sure that you tell me to put my clothes back in the suitcase. If I arrived on a holiday and someone said to me, sorry, but could you remember to tell me to put my clothes back back in the back? I'd be like, it's my holiday. I don't want to be your nanny, you know? Oh, but I think everybody who's friends with you

knows that that will happen. Nannying is part of the chalk. It's not nannying. It's just one simple, you know, where are your pants? Yeah, pop your pants back in. Oh, the pants are in the drawer. Okay, so then, for you, packing cubes would be a godsend. Maybe they would. Yeah, they're really simple. That's, that's tip number one then, all five or whatever we've gone to. five's very ambitious Yeah, straws, dress for war

and then were, you know A duct tape, never on the panace sandals, because you'll leave it. And packing cubes, here we are. And puffed, yeah. But packing cubes, you can get really nice ones. Don't get like shit ones. They're like, oh, I don't want to put, like,

get nice ones. And you can, and then you put, like, all your underwear in one, all your, like, I don't know, beach wear stuff. And then all are you, like, going out for dinner in, like, another one. And then, I don't know, another one for toiletries and earrings. I suppose it would also help in the packing cube scenario,

once the sweater cube is full, you're like, that's probably too many sweaters then, pal. For your holiday, yeah, of course. I know, of course, because you may be going to, like, Finland. Sure, but then either way, you're like, okay, I've, that's all right. Because my concern is I just keep throwing things in the bag. I have found, I'm, because all of the tips are, like, make a spreadsheet. And you're like, in a way, we've all got lives.

Like, I'm not sitting around making a spreadsheet. What I have found helpful is to, when I'm like, putting all the stuff on my bed or whatever, ready to, like, put in the suitcase, which is first that, you should do that, have one stage in between cupboard to suitcase. Okay, great. It's like desk to dance floor. You know, like in the magazines, everyone was like, take it from desk to dance floor. Right.

So what's the... Take it from cupboard to suitcase via your bed. But what's the stage between desk and dance floor? There isn't one. So that's not a good analogy. Terrible analogy, isn't it really? Pub. There you go.

Right. So the pub in this scenario is the bed. Okay, perfect. You can't literally go from dance floor. to dance for though, it would be insane. That actually would be insane. Okay, it turns out it was a good analogy, but not for the reasons I thought. Yeah. You go into the pub first. Right.

And the pub is the bed. And you put all the things that you would like to take. That's like the first of it. Like, oh, well, all the things I'm excited to take. You have like the amount of days, like, so I don't know, like, if you're going for like a week or whatever, basically you just want to make sure that you don't take like two tops and 17 pairs of trousers.

Each time you go through and you go, okay, trousers, one, top, two. And then you then you survey and go, ah, I'm going for 14 days. I've only got three, three tops. I need to then. So it just allows you to just not get there and go. I'm definitely doing a desk to dance floor and I'm not doing the midsection, which means I'm on the dance floor being like, have I got here? Yes. I'm just throwing things straight into the suitcase. Does it feel achievable for you to introduce the pub element? I think that would be good and that does feel achievable for me and thank you for asking it in such an open way. Right. I do think that would be good. That plus packing cubes, you are genuinely, that's going to change your life.

I think so too. Because then it's like you've packed. It's like you've unpacked in your hotel room or whatever, but you haven't. It's just in a cube, you know? Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then it probably will mean that your entire holiday experience will be like nice because

you wake up and you won't be like, I've got to sort through that big pile of clothes now to find anything. But I never do. I just rummage in and be like, I guess that today. Yeah. Whereas you can, and I'm not going to, I think there's no point in being like, and put together outfits before you don't need, I don't do that. You just kind of go like, have I got enough things, you know?

Have I got enough things on the bed to cover my body with for the amount of time I'm going for? That's all we're aiming for. I think there are also tips that are like, yeah, like put your socks in your shoes. You're like, yeah, all right. I think we all do that, don't we? Use your shoes as like mini-packing cubes. Yes. Use the shoes.

Yes, absolutely. Roll, I do believe. Roll everything. Roll if you're not in the cube world. If you're not in the cube would. I wonder if you can roll in the cube, you know. You must have to roll in the cube. You simply must of those.

You'd open the cube, but you'd just see the top layer and it'd be like, well, what's in this cube? What's in this cube? It'd be fun if you labelled the cubes. Yeah, it would be fun. Not necessary, no. I know what we could label it with.

Doc tape. Turns out, great tip. Great tip. Great tip. Where's that? Love that. My next point of contention, area of concern.

Yeah. Is that do check the airplane rules vis-a-vis... Oh, my God. It makes you feel sick. Vis-a-vis the lugs. Because they keep on changing them. They change.

And it also changes depending on the fucking. Fucking airline, where you're going. So you can get out one way, but on the return, not allowed. Like, it's wild. And they're doing it because they introduced these things being like hand luggage only. And they thought everyone would be like, okay, well, I have too many treasures, so I'll pay. And then everyone was like, no, I'll, I'll do hand luggage only, fine. And then be like, I'll wear all my clothes.

Great. They've lost loads of money. And they're like, oh, bugger. Well, now what are we going to do? So they've now had to do, say, hand luggage, but only of this amount. And then also, we're going to take it off you anyway at the airport. And if you don't want us to take it off you, then it's 30. You're like, what?

It's awful. That's the new rules. Anyway, so just check. Yeah, really check. And also, it's probably really worth getting the bag weighing. A little little thing in a jig. Yeah, buy them and then you can just basically just see how much your bag weighs. So helpful to buy one of those, especially considering how ridiculous all of the things are now.

Yes, check the rules, buy the bag weyer, like don't get got. Absolutely perfect. And as always, pre-planning is our friend. Let, come on. Come on last minute. Laura's. Let's start a bit ahead of schedule. A helpful thing. Where's your adapter? Where is it? I don't know. Put it in the suitcase TV. And get one of those like all the world ones. Oh, world one plug adapter. She's like it monogrammed. Don't buy it right. The second bite.

It's specifically for Afghanistan. Okay. Okay. So this again. It'll be helpful for when I go on tour there. I can't wait for you to arrive with it in its monogrammed powd. And you'd be like, um, I think. I think I've got the adapter sorted. I've got it all come to go. I've got to go. I've got a rack.

Come on, let's go. That's why you've got to get big world and big world only. It's everything. With a little carrying pouch. Right? Oh, gorgeous for you. And you pop out a little bit so you feel like Inspector Gadget. It feels nice and fun.

Now, if it comes with a special travel pouch, new idea. To the travel pouch, attach a string or a straw or something. A nice string. Attach it inside the suitcase. then it's always there. That's very good. So I do that? In the last second that I just thought of this good idea.

Yeah, it was very good. I have for a while been like, how will I remember this bloody adapter? Because I was like, I can't attach it to the adapter that would be insane. Then my suitcase would have to be so close to the plug. I was about to think, why don't you just glue it to the suitcase? Exactly. No. Both of them have thought that.

And then we're like, oh. And then, but now. I've glued my Afghanistan. I'm ready for Porteventure, right? It's insisting to your partner, like, I think I've got it under control. Don't patronise me, thank you. Anyway, the string on the monogram travel bag. Yeah.

Because then when you're packing at the end and you're like, what the hell is this string? Then you're like, where's this empty back? And then you're like, the adapter, because then you remember to take out the wall. Because I was like, that's where they get lost. I completely see now, yes, because that is probably the main thing that I would forget is chargers and adapters and things plugged into the wall, which would, what else would I plug into the wall?

charges and adapters. Now that we've got our little bag, hey. Hey, that is really good. And then that adapter lives in the suitcase. That's his home. I also... Use the pouch for earrings. No, what for?

What are you doing? Put your earrings in there? What would you put earrings in? It's like similar to a straw. So do I put them in like little separate, like, I don't know, cigarette cases? Like, what's the equivalent? I suppose a pouch, just a pouch. I suppose if you are worried about them getting tangled with each other,

I suppose they're in the miniature, like, drug bags. Oh, little baggies. Yeah. Okay, cool. Thank you. A meth bagggy. A meth bag. Simply on the dark web.

Simply get your meth bags. Get a meth bag. Okay, cool. Thank you. Great. So those. Oh, talking of meth bags. Yeah.

You should probably... We don't bring any drugs. Don't, A, don't bring any drugs. B, if you must. No. I've got a little hack for you. Up the butt. I was just about to say, up, up, up, up the butt.

Don't. Don't. Just don't. When I get to the airport, I'm always like, I should get one of those, like, translucent, sort of makeupy, toiletry bags. Because you can buy them the regulation

the same size as the little Ziploc thing because everyone having to do the zip lock thing I get it I shove everything in it breaks then I have to get

another one on the way back I'm like what a waste and then I'm always like oh I should have got all the travel size versions but actually then last time what I did

because it was like a big long we were in Australia for like a million months I was like I simply must do all the things because otherwise

I'm going to go crazy and got like those empty bottles and sprays and then like decanted stuff in and how did you feel great

and then also it all fitted and I tested it. I all fitted in the Ziploc bag. So I didn't have that thing where the bag's open and everything's falling out and you just feel stressed. So get one of those regulated

like translucent zip lock for like big drugs but like is actually for makeup. I'd be very good. Look at this. Oh no, she's going to show me and she's probably got one. Oh yeah.

I love it. So is that regulation? Yeah. It's the Anna Hindmarch. Oh, that's gonna be take off. I got it on. It's an Anya Hinmarsh just in case you actually want to search it.

Yeah. I only say that just because people might search Anna and be like what? And yeah. And yeah. How much is that though? That's going to be expensive. It certainly is. But it's the same as several broken ones from, you know. For what, free from the airport? No, it's not. So, yeah, but like rather than a crap. I've just seen, there's a knockoff version of this in Accessarise, but it's so crap. This I got on eBay. Okay. So they are out there. Post Christmas, have a little Google for this.

I found it so fantastic. It's regulation. I've traveled with it a number of times to no problems. And I now don't do the plastic bag. I simply have this and it's clear. I love things to be clear because I can't remember anything. If I can't see it, it's simply gone. Yes. I've got no object, permanence. And then I love, love, love.

I don't decant because I can't remember what's in it. Oh, of course. Yeah, that is a thing. Yeah, because I'm like, what's that could be anything. You've washed your face with toothpaste without knowing. I've done a number of times. For a week. Just keep going.

What a minty girl. Very unwell from ingesting all the soap. And it's but I love miniatures because I like to feel like a giant. Oh, right. It wasn't where I thought the sentence was going to end. What did you think it was going to be? I love miniatures because I like to feel organized, but you like to feel like a giant.

No, I don't care about being organized. I just love all the little things. Because it's like, especially when you get one that's, like, for example, the, you know, I use Mitcham deodron, and when you find like the actual one that you have, but it's little, because it is like a little baby. It's the baby. It's a baby.

I found a tiny pseudacrem, like for a mouse. Oh my God, that's so good. Couldn't believe it. That's really great. So then I pack all those things, and then, and this is an important one, And this is actually a tip that comes from a pilot. My god's sister is an actual pilot. Oh, yes, I met her.

She says what all the airstro desks and all the cab and crew and all the pilots do is that you have your complete, when you have a thing that you like, a makeup, or your really good tweezers, or any of those things, you simply buy a duplicate. They go in the travel bag and they remain in the travel bag. But this does feel like some, well, actually, this might feel like somebody if you go abroad multiple times a year. But if you only go abroad like once a year, that feels quite intense. It does.

I guess it is if it's their expensive, lovely things. But if it's just like you're Mitcham's deodorant, you're like, I love this. And then I shall love its baby for travel. Equally, I love its baby for travel. You know? Because otherwise my concern is, and I think we're hitting on a major theme of my concern of gluing the stuff to the suitcase, is I just leave and I don't open the drawer. I just go on the holiday and then nothing returns.

For me, it has to be like, this is the travel one and it stays in the travel place. So it does, even though it feels like a larger, initial expenditure and outgoing to be like you have to have your replicas it's actually not for me because it will remain and then it's like and now I repack the travel bag and I'm like here are all the bits back in we go and these stay in the suitcase with my adapter with all the stuff this is purely the holiday bag there it is ready to go and even if I only holiday once a year I get it out and I'm already like oh I'm already partly in the pub you know I'm already like okay some of the work has already been done here okay okay this is a bit better yeah it feels like you've someone's packed for you

It feels like someone's packed for you. And then that's, you know, you can't put a price on that. So I'm packing for you. Absolutely. You can't. You can't. Anyway, there was a number of, when I found that one on eBay, there was actually a number of them out there. Great.

Oh, good. So have a, have a note. I think I'm going to buy one. Honestly, I love it. It says take off on one side and touchdown on the other. Oh, nice. So it is very much for flight. Very much for flight.

She's got a whole flight section so you feel like a lady who flies, you know? Oh, you do. And it's just, I feel lovely. I feel lovely. I feel lovely. I feel lovely. I feel lovely. I feel lovely.

Here we go. Store tiny jewellery in a pill organiser or contact lens case. If you have one, don't like buy one specifically. But if you do... I would though, because I loved any excuse to buy any, like... Small things. Small things. Pack socks in your hat.

Okay. Socks in the hat. Yeah. Sox in the hat. I wanted to say, I feel like you'll have some thoughts on this. Oh, probably. What's the difference between what you put in your hand luggage and what you put in your big luggage? Because for me, it's just anything doesn't fit.

So I've got, like, one shoe. I mean, that is. partly it. Like if you've got it in your, in your big case, the amount of times I've been like, well, I do want to take these shoes, but I don't put one shoe in. You're like, well, the other one's going in my hand luggage. It's tricky, isn't it? Because similarly, Anja Hindmarch. She also has a bag I've had my eye on. It's a handbag that is just for the airplane. So it's got like, water bag, but it's got like that, yeah. Water bottle, that's fun. A water bag. It's in like water. But then it's like snacks, headphones.

Passport. Oh, I love this. So this bag feels like it's just like, I'm a lady with this lovely bag. And his, and in goes in. You know, I would love to be that person. Oh, yeah. But I'll probably get dupes of that. You can probably get like if you do like a flight bag or like ladies flight bag.

Yes, I'm sure. I'm sure people are. But for me, anything that's like labeled and has like clear pockets for the things, like this is really speaking my language. Because then when I get on the, when I'm packing at the other end, I'm like, why is there so many empty holes in this bag? I absolutely love it. And it's a mere snippet, six hundred and five pounds. Snip, which is why I've had my BDI on the old EBA. Oh my God.

But there is dupes. Oh my God, there's loads of dupes. Beautiful. What has stopped me, both from dropping just a quick 600 on the bag, but also even of getting the jupes is I just know myself and I will have packed my mini suitcase, rolled as best I can, socks in the hat. And then I'll be like, and now my backpack or my handbag or whatever, it now needs to just be stuff that didn't go in the suitcase.

And what I have done of late is had like one enormous, tote bag. Yes, of course. It's just been overspill. And what I have done at the airport is gone into the largest shop and asked just for a bag and said, so sorry, my bag is split. He's got to have a big plastic bag. And then be like, but this is things I bought at the airport.

Like, this doesn't count as over. Gosh, what goes in the plastic bag? Right. Okay. So they've said the rules are one wheelie suitcase. Yes. One backpack. That's it.

Just two things. And I'm like, but I've got wheelie suitcase, backpack, backpack and enormous tote. Wheel suitcase, backpack. and enormous tote. So the tote is just filled with one shoe. You put the tote inside the big plastic bag. So it looks like you've bought stuff. And then you're like, well, this is just duty-free.

This is just things I bought in the airport. That's actually an exceptional hack. Thank you. As all hacks must come with the content warning. No. Yeah, content warning. You might get arrested. Yeah.

Don't take, I refuse to be brought up in court. But I refuse to be brought up in court. I refuse. But so far I've got away with being like, well, this is this enormous bag. This is just, I brought these things. Yeah, and they can't tell you otherwise because they're, well, they might have to see in your bag and then they're like, sorry, you bought socks. No one's ever. Actually, yeah.

I think people care much less at the airport than you think. Like, they're just like, I don't give a shit about this job. Like, if you don't know it like you're willfully breaking the rules, then like, come on, get on. Fine. And then I've tried my best to be like, stuff into the big bin. The big bin. Overhead storage locker? That's exactly right.

Well done you. Someone's chosen for an heir stewardess job. Because I know the word overhead storage locker. I think that's actually the only test. I think I appear at first impression that I would. And if you know me for more than two seconds, you'd know that if anything went wrong, I'd be like, what's going on?

So it wouldn't be great. Can I retract my sentence? Yes. Today you've got quite a smart bun and you look a bit like a stewardess. Thank you. That's the two different things. Two different things. I, everything, all the excess up here and I tried just to have with me like just the headphones,

just the bits, just the stuff I need. The little travel bag. The little travel bag. But that's a journey for the future. That's also I would say long distance flying. No, I've tried it on small ones as well just to get in the habit. Okay. Sure.

I just really want to be the nice lady. You are the nice lady. Regardless of what happens, you are the nice lady. You've got an adapter glued to your hat. You're a nice lady, you know? Many years ago, in Calgary Airport, there was a woman. Wow. She had four children.

Okay. One, which we thought she only had three, baby on her hip, two idyllic, beautiful children. children holding hands. Probably drugged. Sure. I'm just saying it. They stopped at security and they started playing patter cake.

They weren't drugged. No. They were just like a joke of a child. Then she wheeling baby on the phone as well. The baby's on the phone. She's wheeling a baby on its phone. Carrying the wheeling another suitcase. When that stopped and she turned around, there was a baby attached to the suitcase.

Like on the back. But also good for her. It was well, it wasn't attached. I was just like it's, I don't know. It's thing was on it. Yeah. She was so calm. She was, every single person in that airport was like looking at her, being like, oh my God, how are you so in control and calm and look so beautiful?

And I remember looking down at myself carrying a bin bag in my pyjambach. Yes. With a baby in a bin back. And all my dreams are this woman. I'm always... You've fallen into the trap that we always tell people not to fall into, which is you don't know that woman's context. That woman could be a super nanny for a rich woman who's on first. class and she's got the children she's got the children and that is her job yeah you saw a snapshot

of somebody okay you're so right baby probably threw up in her hair yeah yeah the flight you're so right you simply i'm sure you have been that per i mean maybe not with a bin back but you don't think i've ever been that person i think you have you've been that person in other ways okay to other people do you think i'm other people's woman in calgary airport sometimes you're my woman in calgary airport Thank you. Which is where when you, and it's for very different reasons, but it's when you, like, come into a party and you've come from somewhere else and you are effortlessly sociable and social.

And everyone's like, it doesn't say, that's fun and you're great fun and you explode in the room. And then you sort of go off to, like, another thing. And I'm always like, Jesus Christ, she's just a mist wafts of fun. You know, that's a weird thing to say. And do you know what, Stevie, that is no effort to me. You know, there's no point me trying to tell people, all the hacks in the world aren't going to help.

People waft. Wow. Thanks so much. Fine. Thanks actually. Look, I hope that helped. If you're the woman in Calgary Airport, Godspeed to you. Oh my God.

Children are probably quite old by now. Maybe how long ago was this? Ten years. Gosh, they're probably ten. Gosh. Gosh. Okay. I think that was very helpful.

Just before we go, I bought one of those flight document pouches. Absolutely. But actually everything's on the phone now So it's almost completely useless You don't actually You have your boarding pass But it's not I suppose it's been helpful

If there have been like paper tickets and stuff But the main thing is Is I bought it Now I asked one for Christmas I didn't specify And I got one with a giant toucan on it And I'm too, I don't like it So I don't like it

So if you're gonna buy one of these things Make it look nice Because otherwise you want to use it And for you It would have to be black It would have to be black It would have to be like Let's sell that tucan

Let's get you a one that you do like Let's sell that tucan and I buy it A lovely black and gold one Let that tuccan fly away I must, I simply must. And again, black and gold. Okay, wow. Okay, see you on holiday.

We're holiday ready. Okay, bye. Bye, everyone.