Nobody Panic - How to Play Poker with Ken Cheng

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Brilliant comedian and professional poker player Ken Cheng joins Stevie and Tessa to explain the extreme basics of poker as their nose's bleed. The perfect episode for anyone keen to play, who simply can't grasp the concept. Stevie asks excellent and helpful questions, and Tessa keeps whispering that she's a 'brother from Langley', a very niche reference to Casino Royale which nobody enjoys.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. That's poker and we're doing how to play poker. I fold on the river.

I fall on the river. You know. The lingo. Yeah. I play golf across the river. You're not helping. On the way to playing poker, you know. It's a budgie, no, birdie.

It's not about golf. Anyway, so I'm Stevie. Tessa's here with me. Hello. Hello to Tessa. And we've also got comedian and poker player extraordinaire. Ken Chang. Hello.

Yeah. So Ken, you play poker. Talk to me about your kind of poker journey. Because you played it for a while, do you? Yeah. I played it. since I started playing when I was 17. And then you're starting to make a bit of your name for yourself in the online.

Just so everyone's listening, like, Ken's not fucking around with poker. Like, you smashed it. I did really well for a teenager. See, I dropped out of uni to play poker. So this was just before I went to uni. I think I won a few tournaments where I probably made a few thousand dollars just before I went to uni. And as a teenager, I was like, oh, that's loads of money. I'm richer than anyone I know.

You set up for life. Yeah, I was in my head. Yeah, I was like, yeah, that's, that's done. Yeah, that's it. I'm rich. So, yeah, I decided after a year of you need to try and chase that. And so, like, oh, yeah, please. I'm still alive.

Wow. I still play poker. So, it went all right. So tournaments all online. What are we talking? I'm so involved in your journey. I started with tournaments. Okay.

Because that was a cool thing. Because the idea of a tournament, you could start off with like $1 buy-in and make hundreds by the end of it. If you come first, if you're just playing poker over a long period of time in just regular cash, which is the opposite of tournaments

where you're just playing with the money. You're just betting that money, you're going, okay, well, I bet, you bet $50, that $50 is going into the pot. It's going to go to whoever tournament. You're putting that money at the start, and then that's done.

You don't need to put in any more money for that tournament and just waiting to where you come in that tournament. Oh, okay, right. So any lucky player, because you just have to be lucky over a course of a day to win a tournament. Right.

Well, already, I feel like, okay, we're going ahead of ourselves. We just circle back here. And for my question, which is, what is poker? Poker is a card game involving chips and gambling. And it's just, it's any game which follows a similar structure of betting where you're basically betting on who has the best hand. Okay.

The betting that you have the best hand. And what's the one that you see the most in the films? Texas Holden. That'll be the one. Casino Royale. Texas Holden. There's other types of poker, is that? The other one you might see is five cards, where you have the five cards just in front of you.

And you don't have the cards in the middle. Okay. Right, right, okay. Okay, so, Tex, teachers, hold them. Let's play a round of Texas Holden for fun. Let's get your cards at home. Join in. Tess has got her cards.

She's knocking on the table. That means check. And what does that mean? I bet nothing. Do you know how the card rankings work? No. That's fine. We don't know anything.

That's fine. So the best hand is the Royal Flush, which is five in a row. of the same suit. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, for example. Oh, no, there's no 1. Ace, 2, 3, 4, 5. That would do it. And so, say if we all got a royal flush,

like 10 Jack, Queen, King, Ace or something, and someone else got 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, would that, I mean, I don't, I think. Yeah, the higher, the better. Right. Higher the better. Okay, so the person who got the kings between. Aces is better than a pair of kings. Right, let's begin with your card ranking.

Ace, number one. In terms of individual cards, yes, ACE is at the top. It can also work for straights at the bottom. What's a straight in my bottom? A straight is five cards in a row. How's that different to a royal flush? A flush has to be of the same suit. Oh, okay.

Okay. Well, Royal flush is technically a roll straight flush, which... Okay. Yeah, it's very rare hand. You could probably play your entire life without getting one. It's very rare. You get it one in a million hands. So Royal flush is like eight of spades, nine of spades.

No, it has to be ace king, queen, jack ten. Royal flush. All of the same suit. All of the spades. Is it royal? Yes, that's right. Aes. But then a flush can be anything.

A flush can be a ace. So if you have ace, 10, 8, 6, 3 and all not the same suit, that's a flush. Oh, so it's not consecutive numbers. It's just the same suit. Straight is consecutive numbers. So you do get a straight flush. Right. So does it go straight flush, straight flush, royal flush.

But in between flush and straight flush, there's also a full house and four of a kind. Four of a kind is when you've got three of the same and two of the same. Three of a kind and a two of hair. Of numbers or numbers? Yeah, of numbers. So you have... Three threes? Two twos.

Yeah, exactly. Full house. That's three kings and two queens. Top one, best hand you can possibly get royal flush. It's the royal family. It's the royal family. I was going to say you're flush with it, but that's not helpful. You can't, you flush with it, sure, but it's not actually helpful.

And it's just the royal family. They're all the same families. So they're all the same suitors are. And they're all the same family. The royal family. Technically called flush, but in this group we'll call it the royal family. And what's down from the royal family? The straight flush.

So any straight flush, which is five in a row of the same suit. But less than that. So the word flush means the family. Flush means same suit, yes. Yes, yes. Yeah. All family. And straight family.

That's like the family, the von Traps. Everyone stood in a row. Consecutive. Yes. Perfect. Same family. Yes. Great.

Hiding from the Nazis as well. Harding from the Nazis. Very important. When you're remembering poke. Right. Remembering poke. Next one down. A four of a kind.

Four fours. Yeah. Say what you see. Four, five. you've got all the group. Twins, quadruple. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four of something. You've ever seen four of the same thing. That's that. Yeah. So this one down.

Have it been related? Yeah. They're not, if anything. It can't be. All of them. All of the kind. It should be just like, have you got all the kings? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That should be called. Have you got all the king? It didn't have to be, or not necessarily king. So have you got all of them. Of them. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Next one down. Four house. That's the one I just explained, which is three of, three of something and two of something.

numbers. Three of something and two of something else. That's quite hard. Okay, question. Right. Sorry, how have I got four of a kind, all the kings? And that next one is five cards in my hand. It's always a five card hands.

But four of a kind, you've got a spare one. You can do whatever you want with it. A rogue. Yeah. If you have four kings and three. Have you got all the kings and he's here? That's what's that? The full house.

No, no, that's four of a kind and he's here. And he's here. The rogue. Four of a kind and the rogue. The King's here with his rogue. And then you've also got the full house, which is three of my friends, invite two of their friends. Oh, the neighbours are around. No, no, no.

A thruple. Yes. And a normal couple have said, and a really fun thruple have come around. And then a couple are like, it's a bit much, actually. This is a bit weird. And they've said, you know what? We've got a bit of a full house actually. So it'd be better for you if you didn't come in right now.

That's exactly what that is. Okay, great. Okay. Okay. Next on down, from full house? Flush. So that's just five. And that means the word family.

Yeah. So it just means anybody in the family and it could be anywhere. Yes. So it's not the straight flush, which is the von Traps. It's just means family. Open family. Family gathering. Family gathering.

Everybody is a spade. Christmas. Probably Christmas. Okay, so actual family is consecutive. Extended family. You've got, you're the ace, your auntie. She's a seven. Yeah.

That works. Same family. Far away. Brilliant. And what's next one down? Straight. Oh, no. That's so straight means consecutive, right?

Yeah, it's consecutive. All the neighbours have come out of the front door. Perfect. Are they related? No, they're neighbours. That'd be crazy. Yeah, number two. I told you, the family have found houses next to each other?

It's a row of houses and they pop out, but they don't, they're not related. Neighbors. Okay. Straight neighbors. So, sorry, will it matter in the straight if like two of them are diamonds? No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't make a difference. It doesn't make a difference.

So it means two people come out at the same house and it's okay. And that's fine. So we're like, ace of the heart. Two of clubs, but then you've got your three, your four, both spades. Yeah, but it's consecutive. It's consecutive. Because sometimes people do live, like, sometimes your grandma gets old and she moves in next door. So that's fine.

Or like Tim Burton and. Helena Bonham Carter. So that's fine. So that's the straight. It's their road. It's their road. So the straight flush was the Von Traps. Because they're all married.

Flush for the family. But consecutive in a row, but then take the word flush away. It doesn't need to be related, but just straight in a row consecutive. Okay. And one more down for you. from straight. Three of a kind. Three of a kind.

You've got three of it. Yeah. These other two, doesn't matter. Yeah, three of a kind, forget them. Yeah, great.

Spares. Spares. Three of the kind of the spares. Yeah, get simpler now. Two pair, which is two pairs. Oh, two pairs.

That's just two pairs. Two boring, two boring couples, just out to dinner. Which is a normal. Yeah, okay. And there must be an waiter, right?

Double date. Double date and a waiter. A waiter. Yeah, there must be a spare. And then there must always be a spare. Then just a pair. Oh, that's just a couple. That's a couple out.

Maybe at the cinema. Perfect. And then finally, high card. Five cards in any order. Oh, that's nothing. Yeah, in any, yeah, nothing. That's just a person going out. Yeah.

That's literally nothing. Yes. It's interesting because that must be probably one of the most common ones. Yes. Because obviously it's the easiest one. And that's the one you never see in the big poker game. They never go, I've got 10. Anyone up for that?

Or like, like, It's always like a flush or a straight or a pair. Yeah. So, okay. So we've got our family. Should we just like just... No, no, don't put them back. You've dealt, you've had your hands.

I've got two. So this is Texas Hold your home. This is Texas Hold'em. Stevie's got two cards to hand. She hasn't been told to look at them, but she certainly has done. I think he's... No, you can be look at them. And then she just went fist first into the deck to have a...

It was not a buffet. I was like I said. To have a look for a bear one. So this is your hand in Texas Holden. This is the only part of it. which belongs solely to you. The rest of the cards will be communal. So everyone will be using them,

and that's the beauty of Texas Holden. Oh, so you, so there's three on the floor, on the shop floor. Yeah, I had a three. Say, oh, say I had a three. You had a three. Right, just look, first time playing. Absolutely.

Come on. It's not your first rodeo. We could just play them face up and I'd say. Imagine if I didn't have a three. I do. And then there were two threes on the shop. shop for and have three of a kind. Yeah, that's exactly how it works.

Right, okay. So that's what we were saying before about, right. And so we've all got, if you're listening to along at home, everybody's got two cards in their hands. That's how Texas Holden always begins. Yes, always. So if you're playing with your deck at home, you should have two cards in your hands. Now. Now, what would you do?

You'd have a round of betting to decide who's. Already? Yes. But how am I supposed to know? Well, you've got these two boys. You got exactly. Again, I've revealed that I don't have a book. And we all know one of them's a three

One of them's a three And she definitely hasn't got anything else In that same family Another three You haven't got that same family And you haven't got another three Otherwise you'd think that was too Yeah

You've given away a lot of info To staff than that And I don't think you've got anybody Royal Oh Okay, fair enough Yeah Oh you've got a jack

Yeah Yeah Are you always a lot from very little info, well some info. Quite a lot of info. It's quite a lot of info. Do you have a roll person? Oh, for Royal, it was like, ooh, you think I haven't got Royal? That was brilliant. That was great.

I wish all poker was like that. People were just giving away stuff and people were kind of like, oh, okay. So we're looking at our two, have to put cards in our hand. Oh, but I don't want to bet. So say you didn't know what my hand was, for example. And if I wanted to bet, I maybe would bet higher than I would actually. Because I'd want you to think that maybe I've got two jets, for example. Yeah, exactly.

That's a big part of the game. And maybe I'd say, like, I'll bet a lot because I've got a very good hand. Yes. Maybe that's something you say. Okay, so now what do we do? So I think I should explain this is the concept of the blind, which is... So I'd say we both, we all had some with a thousand chips and there were one and two. When you're saying a thousand chips, do you mean a thousand dollars?

Let's say it's a tournament. We've all decided to buy in for 10 million. We've put in 10 million dollars here. And we've all got a thousand chips because of that. How much is each chip? It doesn't have its own value because in a tournament, the prize will be based on where we come in the position. Extraordinary. So the chip.

Oh my God, it's a non-fundible token. right? Oh my God! Yeah, I guess it is. I guess it is. Right? Oh my God. It's a promise, right?

It's a promise. It's a promise that if you end up with all the chips, you will get X amount of money. And if we all bought in for 10 million and say it was winner takes all, the winner would get 30 million and the other two. And a board ape, which is worth 30 million as well. And the other two people will get nothing. Okay, okay. That's potentially how you could run a tournament. Even though we bought in for 10 million.

Yeah. Holy shit. May I propose for this? Yeah. Let's say we all put in 100 pounds. Yes. For our own ease of mathematical. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. 100 pounds, yeah. Each. Yeah. Yeah. So we could decide it's a winner takes all and the winner will get 300 pounds. So the winner would profit 200 pounds because they're getting their own buying back.

And the other two people would lose 100 pounds. Got it. Perfect. And so then the blinds. So then we would all get a starting stack, which is equal because we've all bought in for an equal amount. Let's say that was a thousand chips. No, it's a hundred pounds. What are these chips doing?

It could be any chips. Can we just say it's like two chips and this is 50 and that's 50? Well, then you have 100, 100 worth of chips. Yeah, yeah. We paid 100 pounds to be a lot of this tournament. Yeah, sure. We can do it that way, yeah. I don't know how else you do it.

You could do it. You can literally say any chips. It's so arbitrary what chips you have. So is that because it's a promise for the game? Just to pause it. Is that like it's vulgar to say the money at the table? Is that part of it? Or the chips are, you know?

No, it's because the chips aren't worth intrinsically any money. So you wouldn't want to assign them monetary. Now, to return to Casino Royale, I feel like they had monetary numbers on them. That was a bit of a confusing aspect. Oh, how interesting. I guess they just decided to do that way. So that's purely for telly. Maybe it's easy for people to understand.

It would be very confusing if, let's say the second person, the second place also got money. In this situation, we could decide the winner gets 200, the second place gets 100, and the last place player gets nothing. Yeah. Then that would be confusing because the second place would end up

with no chips at some point, but they would get 100 pounds back. I see, so for the casual James Bond viewer, they'd be like, what a shame he leaves with nothing, but actually he is leaving with something. So they have to make it look like it's money on camera. I understand. I understand why they would.

do that. I'm sorry, I don't understand. No, no, it's not that important. But it is interesting. I think it is one of those things that once you can get your head around that part of it, you're like, okay, I can, I'm in, okay. So, right, we paid our £100. What the hell is blind? You're the big blind? The blinds are bets you have to put in before you've even got these. And they're just part of the game that makes it run. So I say we have 100 chips and the blinds were one and two.

I would have to put two chips in before I've even got my hand as a big blind. Oh, because that's what you started. blinds, generally information. Yes, and you would put one chip in. Oh my God, that's why they're called the blinds. Yes, we're here. I honestly was thinking blind. So was I.

The big blinds. Well, suppose the blinds are down because the other cards outside and now you can't see them. You can't see your neighbours. The neighbours haven't come out yet. How do you pick who's the big blind? It's randomised and it will go round and round. So after I'm the big blind, you'll be the big blind and then you'll be, you know, kind of... And who's the small blind related to?

They're always to the right of the big blind. Do I, in a small blind, I will have to put my one in. One in, yeah. Because one or two. But does Stevie on no blind, does she have to contribute? No, no. That's why it swaps because everyone gets to go. A 10 player of a game, like eight people would not be putting anything in.

Right, so it wouldn't be as of, I wouldn't be outnumbered in the normal game. It's just to get the game going. Otherwise, you can't really play without any bets. That's right. If there was no money in, no one would bother playing. Because there's like, there's no point to actually playing if there's not already money in. So the fact that blinds exist means there is some money in there to already be fighting for. Would it be something that like, because I'm not, I'm not a blind, I'm not setting

the blind or whatever the word is? What is the right thing? What would I say? I'm not blind. I'm not on the blind. I'm not on the blind. I'm not on the blind. I'm not on the blind. I'm not in the blinds, okay. I haven't paid a blind. I haven't paid a blinder. I haven't paid a blinder. So I will be, so I could for example match the small blind and that would because I didn't have to put anything in, that would make it look like, okay, so she's got an okay hand. She didn't need to put anything down. That's right. Whereas if I was a big blind, you probably wouldn't be able to.

But then I can't really tell anything from what you put down because you had to put two down. Exactly. You don't know anything yet. There's no information yet. Can you put more down as a big blind? Can you be like, I'm going to put seven down. No, you can, before anything starts, the blind goes in. Before you've been.

I'm the first real player then. Yes. In many ways. So you, the big blind, you put in and I put in. Yeah. So we put our bits in. Let's say this is what it looks like. That's big and that's small and nothing for Stevie.

Okay, so now there's three coasters on the table. So you would start to, you'd start the betting. So how betting works is everyone has to at least match some number before you can continue with the game. Okay. So in this case, it's dictated by the big blind. So everyone would have to put to match this two before we continue with the game. Wow.

Or you fault. And so small question, the betting begins to the left of the big blind. Yes, left of the big blind. So you would start and you could either call, and that would just be the two, because that's what's set up right now. So call is the same. Call me. I'm going to call. I'm going to call.

Yeah. I match. Yeah. Like an echo. Yeah. I'm calling that. Well, I will obviously do that. The other options are fold and raise.

Oh, what's the third one? So you could put any extra amount on. It's more. It would have to technically put in four, but it's fine. So it has to double. It has to be more. Yeah. It would have to be, yeah, at least double whatever the.

current number is. So if it was 10, you would have to raise to 20. You can't, you can't do 12. What an absolute shame? Okay. But there's a good reason to that because let's say you raise, we're now in a position where we have to decide. We might look at our hands and go, oh, we have to put more in. No, we're folding. So that's why the game kind of works is because there's three chips in here. You could raise and decide I want to win these chips. Yeah. I do. I'm going to call. Let's call for the purposes of interest. So she could just put in so much money in this blind. How many times around do we go in the blinds?

Until everyone's matched whatever the number, the maximum number that has been better. And so, so what do we call this section? This is pre-flop. Pre-flop. Yeah, pre-flop. You know that they could have done a better job with name of last. You know that on Casino Roy. No.

The pre-flop. Yeah, because the first three cards is the flop. So there's the pre-flop round. Okay. Right, in the pre-flop. And does I mean that every other round is called a flop? There's a flop. and then a turn and then the river.

So this is pre-flop, flop, turn, river. Those are the four rounds. But you're not hearing pre-flop a lot. You're turn around. A river at the end. Is it possible that during the pre-flop, Stevie puts in so many chips that we're both like, fuck it, and we just have to get out

because we don't have enough chips. Yeah. Yeah, she should put in all 100 right now. And we'd all be like, I fold, fuck it. And then she takes all our money. She would take the three. She would only take what's in the winter. But you wouldn't, would you?

Because you don't even know what cards are going to get. So you could get like an amazing, But just say that like we've come to the table and you've like just gone balls in on this preflop. You just keep playing it. I'm like, I don't want to play against her. She's obviously got an incredible hand. Which is wild as well. Yeah.

Well, that's I guess the whole concept of the thing is me being like, I don't know what to do with her. She's being, this is a wild player. What do you mean? I'm not going in. I'm like, I fold. I'm happy to lose this rather than continue to play that. But then you've, you know, you've won. You've not a bad strategy.

This is where it might get mathsy because. Oh. That's where a lot of the maths comes in is that there's only three in here. And she put 100 in there to win three. That's not a great... It's wild. That's why I'm saying we're folding. It's not a great risk to reward ratio because she could lose all 100.

Like I'd say if you have two aces, which is the best possible hand. Isn't that right? Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. I think she doesn't have it. Two aces. Then you would call because you would never follow that. Never. Because it's going to win most of the time because it's very hard to make a hand better than

two aces because there's going to be five cards in the middle, but you both use those five cards. So if you also have two aces on top of that, you could get two aces plus a love stuff. Yeah. So you're already in a great position. So she'd be risking a hundred here and she doesn't know anything about our hands. If we have crap hands, we'll just fall. We'll lose our two. That's fine.

If we have a good hand, we'll probably call. It'll be down to the races and we probably will have a better hand. Right. Okay, so Steve's put into, the original big blind was two, and now for me to compete, I'm entering mine, and I, so I call, and I, is that right, I call? Yeah, you call, yeah, so we're all on two. And I call, which I'm all on two's. And I still have the option to. Uno. So it's not to say that. That's a check. That means I bet nothing. And then we passed to Stevie.

I forgot what checking is again. I'm doing nothing. Do we have to go to Stevie now to see if she wants to bet more? No, she's already done her action. So she, she won't get another action. Oh, because you didn't get a chance because you had to put that. Because you're the big blind, right? That's why you're knocking and we're not going. Yeah. Yeah, otherwise we just keep knocking.

But after there's been a knock, we can't carry on. No, because we've now, she put in that two and that closed. So the table is even, we not, we've pre-flop. We've pre-flop. We've pre-flop. We can move to the flop. So what happened here is now we have the flop, which is. I can't believe it's called the flop.

This is just the burn card, which is a tradition. When you do a flop, you always do just one card face down from a top. And I think the tradition starts because in case this top card was marked, people would know for age is what the top card is. Whereas if you do that, it would... It's for cheating. Yeah, that is, I think, the tradition of why they do the burn card, but it's always been traditional. And what do we do with him? Do we keep him face down? Yes, you would never see what that is. What if I, like, wanted to have a look?

It wouldn't actually ruin the game. It would, yeah. Because... Oh, it would. Sorry. It affects the information about what people could have in the hand. Let's see, if you look there and it was another 10, then you know there's fewer tens in the deck. So I can't have a go in there, and I can't look at the burn card. You can't look at the whole deck to be. This is so boring. Boring. Like the sort of rain man thing of what people think about counting cards

is to say, okay, I know where the two tents are. And if I know that's another tent, I know for sure. They're less likely to have one. There's one. If I've got that, then I know that's a one. And that's the one. So, yeah. Right.

But there's a quite a funny rule that if you touch someone else's cards, their hand has actually killed. If I touch your hand, your hand is now dead. Like, you can't play? Yeah. Well, I touch yours there? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

So I don't even, because of, mutual respect that people don't just end up doing that to each other's card. That's so funny. So now we've laid them out and what do we call these guys? This is the flop. This is the flop. So if I wanted to refer to it, be like, okay, I'm just going to see if I can match it to that flop.

Yeah. If I hit the flop is the phrase. Have I hit the flop? Have I hit the flop? So if you had a 10, you would have hit top pair. Top flop. Top pair. Okay, so just tell people at home what we're looking at here.

We're looking at everyone should have their two cards in their hands. And then you've got the burn card, which was the top. top of the deck that's been sat there a while in case of the market. Face down. Furn card. Face down. Never to be touched. Never to be touched.

Then besides a joke, we're looking at four of diamonds. We're looking at a 10 of diamonds. And we're looking at the six of space. Yeah. So now the order will change a bit, but you would start now. What? The order. What?

Why, why? It just because it just is, yeah, because the small blinds, because they put in money, they act differently and pre-flop. But now it would start with the small blind always. Always is a small blind. Yeah. So it just goes clockwise from there. From pre-flop, it's small blind.

That's the thing to remember. Yeah, the dealer is the big blind. The dealer is actually not playing the blind. The dealer is whoever is to the left of the small blind. It would go dealer, small blind, big blind always. And then the rest of the players, if there were. And then we begin the flop with the small blind. Yes, that's correct.

Right. So now I'm looking at my two cards in my hand. I'm looking at these three cards on the table. Now what am I doing? She's thinking what she can make. Three options, though. Technically, you would never fold here. And so sorry, just to confirm, there's no more cards coming out.

There are more cards coming out. There's a turn and the river. The turn will be one card. Okay. The river is another one card. Okay. So that's 3-1-1. Okay.

And that's, hence, you've got seven to play with. Yes, that's seven. But you need five to actually make the thing. Yeah, you can't use all seven. You have to use... You can't hit all seven on the turn and the river. Okay, I'm looking at my two cards. Who's to say what they are?

Yeah. And you think it would be crazy for me to fold. Yes, because the bet is zero right now. There's no reason to fold. You can either check or bet yourself. Okay. And what am I basing that decision on? You're basing on how good your hand is

and how likely it is other people to fault. There's two ways of winning in poker. One is to have the best hand at the end. The other is that everyone else but you fault. Oh, okay. Well, I can't do the second one. All the first. So, okay, that's fine.

I mean, I'll just check for interest as well, just because there's no more chips to use. Yeah, check for interest. Check for the interest. And now we have a turn. Oh, and we've got another burn card, everyone. Now we have a six of diamonds. This is now a situation where there's three diamonds on the board,

which means a flush is now possible, whereas before that a flush wasn't possible. They're not in the family, but they are... They are in the family, but they're not living next to each of them. Flammy. Flamley. It's a man... Or just F family.

Okay, a flush. Is now possible, and they don't all live next door. Okay, understood. Yes, if you have two diamonds. And that's in no way a clue to what's in my hand. If you have two diamonds, you have a flush. If you have one diamond, you may make a flush soon. Okay, great.

Oh, I need five for the flush. So it turns out she's got one diamond. So in fact, seven, it's got one diamond in their hand. But you're not in a good position, because there's still one more card to come, and there are a lot of diamonds still. So if I wasn't playing in this funway, I would have probably folded. but I want to just keep going and having a fun time. Now, looking at these cards, it's statistically impossible that anybody could get a royal flush.

Yes, completely impossible. Because we're looking at six, six, seven, four. So the best hand possible changes based on this board. Yeah. And that's a good way of kind of thinking about it is what is possible on this board. So right now the best hand possible is... Oh, four of a kind?

Four of a kind is right. You could have four sixes if you happen to have exactly the other two sixes. Which I don't. To make it very clear, to everyone playing with me, I don't have that. And that guy. Yeah. And that guy, yes, yes. It would be the time, yeah. It'll be Joan Miro.

It's the double date. It's a double date and the waiter. No, four of course. It's quadrupeds. I can't, I've got to get all of these in my head as well. Family. They've confused things. Have you got all four?

And the rogue. In the rogue, obviously, won't matter because. No, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Though, if I may, there's so many more guys coming. It's actually not five cards in total, because there's four. Two in our hand and one more coming. Yes, seven.

But your hand is always based on the best five you can make. Understood. You can't use four seven. I have to use these two guys. No, no. You can use the board. But obviously. Everyone's using the board.

In that situation, you're not winning. At best, you're drawing. Right, yeah. Just then I was like, I've got a good idea. Let's use the board. I've got a bag. I play the board. There's a really famous hand from the World Series of Poker in 1997,

which is the main poker tournament. where there's like two nines and three eights on the board. Two nines. Oh, that's a, that's a three, a full house. Yes, yes, yes. Does the fun. Fropple and the couple. The couple.

Two nines and three eights on the board. On the board. And the one guy goes all in and the other guy says, I call, I play the board. The other guy has a nine in his hand. So he actually has three nines and two eights as opposed to two nines and three eights. which is better. So he also wins on a full house. Yeah, but it's slightly different.

Oh, my word. That would be thrilling, actually. But what if he'd said mine was also the board? What would happen then? Draw. Fight. Yeah. He would split it, yeah.

They fight to the death. Trial by combat. I got a 10. It's a high card. Yeah. Okay. So you can't play the board? Okay, so can I check again at this point?

Yes, you can check. No, it resets every time. If there was betting previously, it would reset still. There's always a new betting round, and it always goes down to zero. So the bet right now is zero. Oh, okay. I'd like to check.

I'll check. I'll check too. And now we finally have the river. So there's six chips in the pot. Okay. No, I was just making space. No, I know. She's cheating.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. Well, now I know that Tess has got a flop. Yeah, unless she was acting the whole time. But she wasn't. She could have been.

She could have been actually. Yeah. I've got a pair, obviously. You've got two pair technically, but yeah. Well, I want two pair. Because you've got the... You can use the board. I just learned about that.

But obviously, that's... Obviously, it doesn't matter too much. So you've got two pair and the waiter. So you've just got a... You're out for dinner. Yeah. You know I blew my load earlier, so you know I've got all in the family. Yeah.

So I can fold now. Well, she would be first to act. I'd have to be the first two out. So what would I do now at this point? You would probably bet. You could check if you wanted. By betting, do I force other people now to be... meet me at my bet. And what do I say as I put my chip in? You say, I bet and then a number.

I bet I'm good. And then I 12. I bet a number. You could bet any amount. Okay, I bet 10. Yeah, yeah. Just saying things. Yeah, just, you bet 10. So then I would have to call 10. People are forced to meet me at my coaster. All fold. And that's how, see, this is what, there's two ways to win now. She could, we can either call her and she still has the best hand and she'll win or we fold. And she doesn't even need to show her hand if we all fold. That's thrilling. I now see why people don't tell each other what their hands are because I would be like, good Lord, what she got? Yes.

From that. Yeah. Has she got a flush? But I've got two pairs. That's quite good. It's pretty good because this is the highest card on the board. So that's quite good. Yeah.

Okay. But I think I would panic and I would fold at this point. Yeah. This is quite a rare situation to have four diamonds on the board. And it's quite easy for someone to just have a random diamond. So I also, I'm not confident that without you talking it through or you, you, both of you here, I wouldn't even notice that I would have forgotten what a flush was. Yes. When you were like, ooh, I mean, and I was like, ooh, to you.

It was because of my hand, right, yeah. The river we all have to go, ooh. I'll fold. You're fold. Oh, Ken's not told us. What, he's got at all. No, exactly. You are?

You are? I could have had anything at the stage. Oh, she can really tell. Okay. I'll be, I be folding. That's what you say when you fold. Yeah, I be folding. I'm folding like clean laundry.

Yeah. So that's what you say, I fold. Yeah, I fold. Yeah. And I don't even have to show you what I have to show. For fun afterwards. And you win everything. And I just clean up.

Yeah, you clean up everything. Yeah. Thank you everyone. It's like the 1997 poker world series. But that's a question, when you're at the World Series or you're at just any tournament or you're playing just one notch above, this is fun and we're not playing with money. Is there a bit of like, what did you have? Yeah, definitely. They love that.

And would it be, within the respect of the game is the respectful thing to do to show my cards? No, no, no. I think generally people are quite happy to that the default is that anyone can choose to not show their cards ever. This was really good. And also in the bar afterwards, would you wait for someone to offer the cards that they had that they didn't show? So if you're playing against someone and they didn't show, would it be not nice or uncouth to be like, what did you have? No, no, I don't think it would be uncouth. I think you were just going, yeah, what did you have and they can choose not to?

Right, fine, okay. quite chill. Okay, great. But I did have a king, so I can make a king high flush, a high flush. King high flush. Well, just, yeah, just a way of indicating how good your flush is. It's good. Because if you had a queen, that would be a queen high flush.

So if you had a queen of diamonds, you would still lose in this situation. I've got a king high flush. I've got a king high flush. And with the four, ten, six, and jack on the table, I've made myself a king high flush. On the river. On the river. She got on the river. Yeah. Do I say I won it on the river? Is that the correct phrase?

Yeah, you can say it that way, yeah. It feels like I, it feels like I, it feels like I shouldn't say it. I'm trying to think if you would, yeah. Can you show us yours? Oh, yeah. I had a Jack actually as well. I had Jack and a seven. So you got, can we just say what your best hand was? You had a pair. Two pair with jacks and sixes and a ten kicker. So actually me and Stevie.

A ten kicker. That's the kicker. We were calling him the waiter. In the waiter, yeah, the ten waiter. The ten kicker, okay. So actually, we would have had, we would have tied. Even though my seven is a lot of Benny O' three, it ended up not playing in this situation. And also, so interesting that when I said, oh, I've got a Jack, no flash of recognition from you did not go, me too.

Oh, I've got a Jack as well. Well, wouldn't it be interesting if we both had Jacks and could be friends? You didn't say anything like that. No, no. Gosh. I genuinely, in this heart, in however long we've been here, I really feel I'm ready to play. Thank you so much for guiding real beginner with a capital. Plight, well, okay, wow. I know I'm natural, but...

But thank you so, so much, for making that so understandable in a way that I've only ever felt like nose-bleedingly sick, I think of the thought of it. Yes, and go and find Ken Chen Cheng comedy. I'd say the only thing you're better at than poker and being a great pal is comedy.

Thank you. And second below that, you do a live-streamed Twitch, Twitch of Blood on the Clock Tower if you're also into... Oh, yes. Would we call it table top roleplay? We would not. No, vulgar, vulgar, vulgar, vulgar. Social deduction.

Social deduction. Table top roleplay. Sorry, I'm so sorry. Typot role play. Go and find there's so much fantastic stuff there. And thank you so, so much for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you, everyone.

Goodbye. I fold.