Nobody Panic - How to Relax

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

Struggling to chill out? Stevie and Tessa haven’t relaxed since 2001. They look at a variety of tips to try and get their brains to kick back and stop freaking out all the time. Join them and get zen.Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Hello, welcome to Nobody Panic with me, Stevie. And me, Tessa, come in. Come in.

Listen to these wind chimes. Take a seat. Ding-dong, dingley-dingly, ding, ding. Take a lovely breath. Think about a stream. That's horrible. It's horrible, isn't it? And also, just relax, guys, because that's what this episode of the podcast, Nobody Panic,

where we help you do things. That's what it's about. This is also as well one of the first episodes in a while that actually isn't a suggestion. It's just a necessity for both me and Tessa. Tessa of whom I thought does relax very well. And I messaged her saying like, because I'm famously the most tense woman in the south of England at the moment. I sort of said to her, oh, should you how to relax thinking she'd be like, yeah, I guess so. And then she'd bring lots to the table.

And she said, oh, yes, I don't think I've ever relaxed. And that was very helpful to hear. somebody once said of the podcast, they were like, it's a nice dynamic because one of you is too loose and one of you is too tight. Yeah. I was like, yeah, that's a fair assessment of the situation. And what I like to think is we've been doing this for now four years. As it progresses, I'd like to think, you know, when God forbid, you know, it ends, we end

at a point where some of your looseness has come to my tightness and I don't like this sentence. But, you know, we've kind of met in the middle. Absolutely. I think I've tightened up and I think you've loosened up. I feel that too. I've loosened right off. Why do you think, you've loosened right off, mate. Why do you think I'm so good at relaxing?

Because you're often just like, fine. Like, you don't, I don't think you vocalise, because I'm very, I will be like, oh, this is, that would stress me out. I don't think you've ever said the words like, no, because that would stress me out. So I just am like, I guess nothing will stress throughout. But then we have done episodes where you've talked about how you won't often bring your own emotions to the table because you don't want to bother anyone with them. So maybe you are quietly tense.

Yeah, I am largely unfazed by things. But I think it's a very good one, isn't it? Because I think we're so not in tune with our own concept of stress. Yeah. And while I would describe myself as in a lot of scenarios laid back about things in a sort of you have to do this now. be like, all right, I will. That's true. For example, things like festivals, whenever me and Tessa have done a festival,

and by done, I mean, like, worked there, you are very much like, oh, we're doing this great. And I was like, where's the nearest bathroom? And what is the tent? And why are we doing? And so you have an element of just like going on, going with the flow very well that I've had to cultivate over many years. Yes. But I think going with the flow and having a relaxed attitude is not the same as

being able to relax. Like I think, I don't think I've ever been like, oh, yes, I'm, well, maybe, I don't know, listen, listen, this is how un-in-tune I am with the situation. I do feel like, I mean, especially at the moment, this last year, somebody asked me, it was an American who was like, have you been productive? Have you been using this time?

Or have you been able to rest? And I was like, have I been able to rest? I was like, I don't think I've rested since this began. Like, I feel every moment that I'm not doing something. I'm feeling like I should be doing something. I have certainly not been able to rest. No. Do you feel this one is about how to relax, how to relax?

Or how to relax. Or how to be relaxed. How to be more relaxed about your life or how to relax. See, it's tricky. It's tricky. I think they inform, one informs the other. I think if you become good, thank you. I think if you become good and,

the act of relaxing as in being like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to, in the American term, which is so much nicer, I'm going to rest, then you will bring that to, yeah, the other areas of your life, because nothing exists in a vacuum, does it? Oh yeah, also as well, because I think if you're talking about being relaxed about your life, there are some things that you shouldn't be relaxed about because it's, they require a deadline or they require stuff to do. So they feel like, hey, take a chill. It's like, no, no, not that. So that's why I think to kind of, what's the word? Compartmentalise. Thank you. I just sort of, I looked at Tesla like through binoculars and that's what she got from that and it was the correct word. Was it right? Yeah, it was right. We've been making the podcast a long time. I think though it's possible to have a deadline and to, for example, I recently watched Bridge of Spies which has been playing on repeat on film four. It's Tom Hanks and I want to say it is Mark Rylance and I didn't look it up and I think that's right. Is it right?

It is right. That's the first time. believable. As the first one that's ever happened. It's a surprise, isn't it? Anyway, he plays a Soviet spy who was arrested in America, and Tom Hanks plays his lawyer who, obviously they're like, send him to jail forever.

And Tom Hanks is like, we have to do right by the law, and I have to be a good lawyer to this spy. It's an interesting, if dry story. Anyway, he is totally unfazed Mark Rylens' character, and they keep being like, they're going to give you the electric chair. And Tom Hanks is like, are you not worried at all? And Mark Ryland's his character keeps saying, will it help? And then you're like, yeah, will it help?

That's a good point. Good point, Mark Ryland, Soviet spy. Will it help? I take it back. I take everything I take everything. I take everything. Be relaxed by everything. Like, will your worry and aid this situation in any way?

And if not, like, yeah, will it help? That's very helpful. Also, I think we've answered our own question. It's going to be a bit of both, how to actually relax, and then how to be more relaxed, to take a more relaxed approach. I feel more relaxed already. Or possibly you're listening to this being like, I couldn't be less.

relaxed. You girls have got to pick. Pick what this topic's about? No, we shan. We won't. What's the most adult thing you've done this week to make ourselves feel better about our lives just before we get into it? I have an IKEA, HEMNES, chest of drawers in my bedroom that I bought from Gumtree. That's not even the adult thing, but already it sounds good, doesn't it? Anyway, I got it secondhand off Gumtree, but I had to put it together myself. And one bit of the thing is like gaping off and I've been looking at it for a while and thinking like I guess that's just how that draw is supposed to be a gaping draw yeah like weirdly it's hard to describe it like just imagine the top has really come away the lid is like come away and you can really see the alan

the allen screw the the bolt thing and I honestly have been looking at it from bed every evening being like yep that's just how they make them like that's just how it's supposed to be and then yesterday morning I was like, come on, that can't be right. And then I took the whole thing apart and I followed like a YouTube tutorial. Because I was like, what is it I've done wrong? It turns out he was just, the YouTube man was just putting it together with a drill. And so the reason it was gaping was it just wasn't screwed in tight enough. And I physically couldn't do it myself with an Allen key.

I was just like, I'm a weak, weak lady. What do you want from me? And I was like, well, how am I supposed to put this Allen key in a drill? This is a hellscape. Went under the bed, found my big box of drill bits. Oh my God, Stevie. one of them was the Allen key attachment. I drilled it in and I honestly made a noise that was, I would describe as orgasmic. I like drilled it. It worked so amazingly well and perfectly I was

like this. Oh God. I was just like, oh my God, I feel. I felt incredible, basically. That's so funny because my adult thing is almost identical to yours. Yes. So for Christmas, Tessa brought me a screwdriver. So it's so excited in just being like, oh, I don't know what to do with it. I've got like a ringlight thing that influencers have, but I use it for when I do like film things or film sketches or they have to do auditions at home. And when I influence people. And it's massive. And it's like this big ringlight that attaches onto a stand. And the stand itself had started to wobble. The ring light was like wobbling on the over the extent where I kept falling down and like smashing me on the head. It's happened three times.

And I've just been like, I guess that's what ringlights do through a period of time. I guess that's just the way it's meant to be. I'm concussed and it's facing the floor. That's what I think. I noticed that it was because there was just like silver bit that was like wobbling and it had these screws that were too wobbly. Again, it took me three goes to be like, I was just like, well, yeah, it's just got wobbly, isn't it?

So I suppose I'm going to have to get a new ring light. Then I thought, oh, no, I've got this screwdriver. And also we've got the, we've got little screwdriver bits that like go, you know, You can take it off. They sit in a carousel on the screwdriver and they magnet into the top. So you're like, what screwdriver do I need? Doesn't matter.

I've got this one. I'm inspected gadget. I've got all the bits. So I looked at the screw and was like, oh, it's a hot cross bun boy. Yes. Looked at the bit and was like, oh, that one. First time, put it in, screwed it, made that noise.

Oh! And then it's, and you'll never believe it. It's tightened. And now the ringlet doesn't fall on my head every time. Oh, my God. They just call me DIY Stevie. That is so poor of all the things you could have come up with. I know.

That is poor. DIY, why don't you screw more things in Stevie? Because it looks like you're doing really well. Thank you. Let's get to relaxing. That sounded like a very relaxing breath that you just took. I found a quote from a clinical psychologist called Rachel Andrew, who said that she's seeing the problem of people being unable to switch off

is getting worse and worse. So she's noticed to rise in her practice, certainly of the last three to five years. people find it increasing difficult to switch off and relax, and it's across the lifespan from the age 12 right through to 70, and the same issues come up again and again, it's technology, it's phones, it's work emails, social media, even when people don't realize it is. But also, I think even if you do have a fairly healthy relationship with your phone or whatever, there's certain things that you can't, like, you can't just be like, I'm not going to have a smartphone anymore if you can't do, but some people really can't.

So you can't get rid of a lot of the things that are stressing you. So sometimes all it takes is one very very, very simple thing to set off a chain reaction of relaxation elsewhere. So just by breathing, which you're like, well, okay, yes, I'll breathe as I have been doing all day. That's how is that going to help? It's not that relaxing is all about tricking in a way your nervous system into your brain flooding your body with the relaxing chemicals, if you will, rather than kind of just expecting yourself to relax. Like, come on, relax. It's like when you smile, your brain can't tell the difference between a fake smile and a real smile. Is that a lot? It's that.

sort of idea. So when you do focus on your breathing and you can just do it for like 10 seconds to a minute, whatever, it doesn't have to be like a full 10 minutes of like, oh, but you just focus on your breathing and you focus on breathing in, holding, holding and then holding and then holding and then holding and then out and then holding and then holding and then holding and you just, and you count your your breath. It just moves your brain's perspective to something that's got nothing stressful about it, that's got nothing to do with anything else. And it also reminds you as well of like, you're just this little animal trying to get through. Like you're just breathing.

You're just breathing. And it kind of completely takes away any other kind of outside stressor. When you Google how to relax, it's all like, go for a walk. Look at a flower. When I'm stressed, I'm not doing those things. But breathing can be something you can just force yourself to do. And then that's a really good starting point of how to relax. The breathing one, I'm afraid, I even find that one, annoying.

Like I... Oh, it's the idea. Just the idea of someone being like, we tried breathing. I'm like, yes. I've been doing it my whole life. I'm actually very good. I just like,

I think because it is so simple that we're sort of furious that that's the solution and it's boring. As with everything. As with everything. What I mean is that like, let's just say it,

there's so many wanky things people tell you to do. And breathing is one of those things. But I think, I feel like it's the least wanky with the most help. It is the biggest bang for your buck, isn't it? I don't know. I find that when I'm stressed, there comes a point where I'm self-fulfilling almost.

So like there'll be a stressful thing. My heart rate will start to go up. I won't really necessarily feel that, but that will then kick off the chain reaction of like a journaline being released and feeling a little bit hot and a little bit like, you know, tense in my shoulders. And then if I release one of those things, it's everything else starts to come down because it's almost like your brain is going like

I sort of notice the fact that my heart rates up and that I'm breathing differently and that my shoulder tense and that makes me more tense than I'm in this like spiral and I'm actually not now tense about the original thing I'm just now tense for tense sake Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, like sometimes when I'm going to bed

I'm like, I can tell I'm going to fall asleep here but also I know I'm tense for tense sake and I know I'm going to have a nightmare and wake up in an hour and low, I do. And I know, I'm like, 100% my body's just going to like take the tension. Give me some nightmare where I'm King of the Birds again. I'm always a CIA agent on the run, always. And I'm just like, don't do it to yourself.

Like, you know you're going to. But then I'm like, I can't be bothered to sort it out, which is such a ridiculous response. The breathing thing I saw, because it is the ultimate quick fix and I don't know why I'm so sort of push back against it, given that it's like free and instantaneous and does the job. saw a lovely video of a mother maybe, but she might have just been a caregiver of some kind with her toddler, a little girl, who got very upset.

And the mother was saying, had her face very close. And the mother blew on her face. And then she said, now you blow back on my face. And it was such an interesting thing of being like, oh yeah, blowing. Because if you just say to a child, like take a breath, or even to an adult having a crisis being like, they go like, like this. But if you say like, okay, now blow on me, they have to, they're not thinking about it in the same way, but they have to go like,

you know, they have to blow. And they are breathing out. They're literally breathing out in a way. It's completely different. Just thinking anyway, just felt so, I was like, of course that's the perfect way to explain it to children without telling them what it is. Blow me, baby. I don't want to spend too long on the breathing thing because there's so many other things

you can, of course, do. But it all stems from that, doesn't it? stems from being able to be like, there is something that I think is wanky. How could that possibly work? We'll try it. Then you'll be more open to like other stuff, won't you? Another one is to recite the alphabet backwards. It's just about like making you totally mentally focused on a part of your brain that doesn't normally work. So then your brain's like, I guess we've all, we've all, hands on deck on this alphabet thing. That seems to be really important. Then by the time you've, you've finished, your brain's like, what were we worried about before? And I was like, I forgot. I'm absolutely

exhausted from the alphabet. But if you get really good at it, if you've done it enough times that you're like, Z-Y-Z, V-I-V-F-O-G-I-D. Oh, you've done it a lot, I think. I was just, I haven't, but I was thinking, I bet if you have, I think you started with F. Z, Z, Z-Y, Z-Y, B, A, V-A-A-D. Yeah, pop an A in there, I think. Yeah, early on, I think. My brain be like, A must be coming up soon. Anyway, if you get good at it, obviously pick something. else, but by the sounds of it, sounds like it takes a while to get good.

You've got a few more years of. Yeah, I think. But any backwards, if you've done that one already, pick any song. I recently found out that the satanic prayer is the Lord's Prayer backwards, but not like Amen, you, that it's like Nima, sorry. Don't say it. Don't say it, don't say it. But I was like, that's a bit of fun.

So you can say the Satanic Lord's Prayer? Say the Satanic Lord's Prayer. Say anything that just involves. your mind having to access that weird bit at the back. The other one is how many windows are there in the house you grew up in? And you're like, and it will make your mind, you make you do this sort of vacant sort of gentle checkout where you go up into your memory bank and then have to count up there. It's all about taking one step away. Like if your brain had like little legs, it take one step away from the thing that you were worried about. It doesn't mean that the thing

that you're worried about disappear is if you're having like a terrible problem with like, I don't know, if you're incredibly stressed because your work and your job, is straddle because you're in a really, really difficult situation. Counting the windows in your family home is not going to make that go away. But immediately it's going to take the edge off. It's like when like in Mad Men, Don Draper would be like, they'd just be drinking and it'd just take the edge off. What actually should have been having to have done draper is Don Draper should have been

sitting in the corner. That's the thing, exactly. And it brings you to a perfect point, Stevie, which is like we don't ever use any of these techniques. We use alcohol and cigarettes and drugs and television. Staring at your phone. as well. Staring at your phone and playing this game I've found where you put different

coloured liquid into different vials. Is that like in real life? Yeah, it's just me in my kids. It's cooking. Sorry, I'm describing cooking. No, it's a, it's a bad game. And then you sort of trick yourself to that feeling of like being zoned out or the edge coming off in those sort of ways.

It's a false economy. It's not the same. Well, they also literally created as well because humans need something. think to do in that dead time. Everything we, everything we do is monetized, isn't it? You might be listening to this podcast on the way to work. And to be honest, you should continue to do that. However, even your commute time has been like, okay, what can we fit in there? What can we do in there? There's a psychoanalyst called David Morgan at the Institute of Psychoanalysis, believe or not, who does believe that the reason that we do this sort of, like you say, this kind of deadening retreat,

especially to phone screens, is both the reason and a consequence of the fact that we no longer know how to relax and enjoy yourselves. And our screens are what we use just as a catch-all for literally all distraction. So he says that people have got so used to looking for distraction. They actually can't stand in evening with themselves anymore. So it's not, so it is a way of not seeing oneself because

to have insight into oneself requires mental space. And all those distraction techniques is a way of avoiding, getting close to yourself. So it's that thing of like, if I'm sat for five minutes and my phone's there, I will use that. Even like while the pasta is boiling,

or, you know, on the loo, the most simple things, I have now filled that space and that's not, I've not filled it with, like you're saying, actual relaxing. And our brains need that time to sort out things so that we are less stressed about other things. So if you are consistently not allowing your brain to have that time, it's not going to be able to cope with things, which is going to lead to more stress,

so ultimately you're not helping yourself relax. So it's like identifying those times in your day. maybe it's your commute. To be honest, things like listening to podcasts come under the same vein as reading a book. So you're actually okay with that. It's like listening to the radio or that's not as demanding of your attention time. It's not active. You're looking to avoid the active things. Like you are actively, even though you're just like passively scrolling through Twitter, you are actively consuming information and all of those things are clickable. Your brain knows they are. There's also adverts. There's also, should I like that or favourite,

that, should I retweet that? And all that stuff is going on in your brain, even if it's subconsciously. Whereas when you're listening to a radio show, a podcast, you're reading your book. You're just immersed. Very wise. I, mm, that's just me really relaxing into it. Two things. One is I was just thinking that I think we were desperately missing the cinema and the theatre because the cinema, you had to sit in the dark and you weren't allowed to do anything else for the duration of that time. Like if someone, if you've been on your emails in the cinema, someone would have been like, the hell are you doing? Like get off your... There's so many people do that like so we've... No, they don't. Oh my God, yeah. So I cancelled my, I had a past to a very well-known brand of cinema,

which I'm going to. And we cancelled it because the last like three, the last three times before I cancel it, people are literally like taking selfies, taking calls on their phone, like talking fully at full volume, like not watching, basically acting like they would in their living room. It was so, and I sound like a very old person being like, And that was not acceptable. But it's really annoying because it's like, for me, I'm the same. This is the one place where I'm like, my phone goes off and I'm watching a film because my phone's off. So I can't look at it. But that's not what lots of people feel like.

They're just saying that's how bad it's got. Well, obviously it's been 50 years since I went to the cinema. So I've forgotten. What about the theatre? You wouldn't take a call in the theatre. Surely not. No, because that's like a real person. Even if you weren't enjoying the play, you are being like, I guess I'm sat here now.

You do just have to sit. So like 17 hours. Oh, God. It's four intermissions, are there? Oh, God, theatre. This is what I was thinking about what you were saying. But I read the phrase, relaxation is not the activity.

It is the outcome. And so I think a big part of it is that we're like, okay, I have to relax now. And you're like, okay. But if you thought, like, and it's like, feels way, it's incredibly stressful, the idea of being told to relax.

Whereas if you say, I'm going to do whatever activity you enjoy in order to relax, you're like, okay, that feels like you being like, I've got a night to myself. myself and I need to relax, be like, you know, be like, okay, I'm going to watch this show in order to relax. I'm going to have a bath in order to relax. I'm going to do this

breathing exercise in order to relax. I'm going to stand up straight and put my head between my knees and sort of hang there like they say to do in order to relax. I put my tortoise on me. I'll put my tortoise on me in order to relax. I'm going to hang out with my dog in order to relax rather than making it the focus, which does feel genuinely very stressful. And the less you go, am I relaxing now? Am I relaxing now? now, then the more relaxed you'll be. Exactly. Don't ask yourself. Just focus on one thing. Exactly.

Like, don't judge it. Set like, not to be like, set your intention, but like, say like, I will be doing this now in the hope of relaxing and then don't, don't judge how well it went from now or now. After you've been like, this is my choice now, I'm going to try and try this and then it goes badly, fine, you'd be able to go, you know? I failed.

C minus. C minus. No, no, how can you fail? The thing that you needed an A on was saying, I'll be trying this now. And you got an A because you said it, like, It doesn't matter how the rest of it went. It's just about acknowledging, like, this is a thing. I am actively trying to do this now. Like, to bring witchcraft into it.

I think you should. I think I should. I think everyone's been demanding it since they started. When will she bring it up? The witchcraft is not, you know, if you write your crushes name on an egg and crack the egg over your head at Moonlight, he'll fall in love with you, or she or they. The fact that you admitted it and wrote the name on the egg and did all the stuff, like, you know, it was about you acknowledging something and putting it out into the world

rather than actually the egg having any power whatsoever. You know, like, I'm going to do this in order to leave my job. I'm going to write my boss's name on an egg, etc, etc. A lot of witchcraft is just writing things on eggs. That is something that you need to understand. I only forgot to chapter one, egg, egg work. Which was egg time. Egg time.

Egg work. Witchcraft and basic egg work. That's what I specialised in. And so when you realize, like, so many of the things are just about your intention and your acknowledgement of being like, I will be doing this with the hopeful outcome of relaxing, like, I am acknowledging or just acknowledging, like, I am stressed and like saying the things out loud. You know, that's all the power, the power shifts away from you. Just owning things and saying them and taking that power and, you know, taking control of it,

basically. Yeah. And there's something to be said about how difficult it is to know what you, you like to do to relax as well because you're so busy saying like, I should do this. I should like this. For example, you know, I know people that have downloaded that Headspace app or the car map and been like, they do it, but he doesn't relax them. That's the whole point. So that's fine. Like that's okay. You don't have to enjoy that. That's not for you. Just like when people read books and then, you know, it was only like a few years ago that I realized if I'm reading a book and I think it's boring, I can just put it down and start a new book because life is too short. You're not in

school anymore. That's the whole point about not being in school and being an adult is that you're allowed to make your own decisions and have dessert before dinner if you want to and put a book down if you don't like it or stop watching that film because the first 10 minutes were you didn't like it. That's so fine. But it's so hard to, especially people that grew up in like a family environment that's centred around the needs of a sibling or a parent. So, for example, if you've grown up never being asked what you wanted to do and there was maybe something else going on, it could be something as extreme as you know,

you had a very ill sibling or parent, or it could just be the family dynamic was very much like not centred on what you wanted. Then when you're older, how are you supposed to understand what you want to do? Because you've literally never had the practice of being a kid and being a teenager and being a young adult going, I like this and I like this, now like this, having the confidence to say that.

So also as well, you might be listening to me like, well, I don't know what to do or you try something that maybe we've said. And you're like, that doesn't work. That's fine because everyone's individual. You know, you might find sorting out the cutlery drawer to be actually your key to relaxing. You might love painting. You might, like, I don't relax particularly that well when I'm watching TV, but I do when I'm reading a book.

I don't know why. It's just the way it is. Probably because when you're watching the TV, you're not watching the TV. Yes, probably because I'm sending an email. And eating and on your phone and on your laptop. I'm thinking about work. We're going to the end now. But the first thing you should do is really explore and try to work out the things that you, not the things that you think you should do to relax, the things that you actually do to relax.

And it doesn't matter what they are. As long as they're not hurting anybody, then that's great. Exactly. As long as no one else is getting hurt, then you do you. and there's no correct way to do everything because it does feel like if you hate the Headspace app and I do, then you are like, okay, well, I failed at that. That's not, obviously I can't do it.

There are so many different types of people in the world and you just have to keep looking for your thing until you're like, oh, okay, this. And it could be something so weird. As long as when you're doing it, if it's sorting out the cutaway drawer or painting or whatever it is, as long as you do it with total focus on that and not on anything else,

as long as it's not sorting out the cutlery while taking a meeting or in an attempt to do multiple things at once. You can't multitask relaxing. Exactly. The point, like, okay, quick, I'll get through this spa. Like, quick, yeah, look how many things I'm doing today. Be like, the whole point of it is to be like, and now I do just this in the hope of feeling relaxed at the end or not,

and it doesn't matter how it went. But if you did multiple things, then I will give you an F. Then you absolutely did F for fail because you didn't give it your total. You fucked it. You fucked it, mate. You didn't give it your total attention. Like, just do that thing. Don't try and trick, kid yourself that you got more done by weirdly doing,

you just did both the things worse, you know? I already feel my shoulders have come down. Oh my God, I hate those tweets. They're like, I don't know who needs to hear this, but take your tongue off the roof of your mouth, unclance your shoulders and breathe, babe. I'm always like, fuck off, but then it always works. But then I do always think, they were high.

They were high. like a million retweets and everyone's always like, oh my God, that's me. Oh my God, needed to hear this today. And you're like, unfortunately. And you're like, yeah, I did too. I hate that I did. I don't know why we're all so cross with people just giving reasonable normal advice. It's just nice, isn't it?

It's being nice. We're just so cynical. Oh, God, we're cynical. My God. Well, listen. I'm going to have a very relaxing week. I don't know about you. I'm actually moving house this week.

So I'm going to approach that in the way that you said, write the start about how everything can you can be relaxed about anything even if it is a stressful event yeah you can control your own response to it exactly will it help probably not will it help i'm really stressed about this will it help to be stressed or should you just get on with it will it just get on with it just pack that box too stop to fanning around if you have an episode idea that you would like us to tackle tweet us at nobody panic pod or email us nobody panic podcast at gmail.com. How can people find us individually, Tessa? Such a good question, Stevie. I'm at Tessa Coates on Twitter. Do say hello.

Stevie, do you have a Twitter? I do. It's at Stevie M, but instead of an S, what I've gone for is the numeric five. Good Lord. I know. It's a very nude development. It's a nude development, but I'm working with it. And just try and relax this week. Would you please? Would you just chill out? I've got this pajama top that has three penguins on it, and each have got a little speech bubble, and one says, just chill out. And the other one says, ooh, another one says e. So it makes me not every time I wear it. Just chill out.

Oohie. Yeah. So if nothing else, if our penguin can do it. Take that from the podcast. Just chill out. For God's sake. For God's sake. And see you next week, guys.

Lovely to chat. See you next week. Goodbye. I