Nobody Panic - How to Sit an Exam

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Pens down please, it's exam season! Whether you're taking your very first GCSE, or doing your tenth Advanced Legal Accountancy Module (Higher Tier), exams are daunting and horrible things. But! Tessa went to an absolute exam factory of a school, and Stevie had one absolutely fantastic History teacher, and between them they've got some solid gold advice. Pens up! Turn over your papers! Here we go! Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Hello, welcome to Nobody Panic. You have five minutes.

I'm the invigilator. Do not tell you. Tip number one. I'm the invigilator. I'm Stevie Tess over there. This is Nobody Panic if you've not listened to us before. We do how-toes, don't we? Yes.

Don't be Tessa. I don't want to say anything. I'm in the exam. I'm sorry. We do how-toes. We will be going for roughly half an hour to 40 minutes. Your time starts now. Tell the paper.

Tell you paper. That was my... When you said I had five more minutes, I just got so anxious then. Yeah, no, you don't. It's fine. We've got lots of time. So we are... Shut, shosh, shah, shah, shah. We're going to... The paper's all in the big room turning over.

That does make sense. We're going to do how to sit in an exam. I can't remember my GCSEs or any exams. It's been so long. I really pushed for this episode and sort of insisted it had to be moved up the schedule because we are striding into GCSE and A-level time. Yes. And this is obviously for anyone doing any exams at any age,

but I do think there is a big portion of the country sitting their first big public exams for the first time. And a big portion who've had any sort of of the, they've had like a big bunch of years of practicing taken away from them through COVID. And there's all this sort of stuff happening. And even if you hadn't had that, exams are still very scary.

They're very scary. And so it comes from our experience, but also Stevie has gone searching for the experts out there. Yeah, I asked on Instagram. We're doing how to sit exams on the podcast tomorrow. Any tips about the exam process? And a lot of people not reading the question and responding with revision tips.

Not helpful? Well, I'll accept revision tips. Because I think it's all part of the same. It very much is. But it is funny that quite a lot of their tips that they're giving me, but obviously always read the question and then loads of revision tips, which is funny. Because it's so hard, and I remember my teacher saying that to me all the time, read the question.

And me thinking, yes, and then getting out and someone being like, oh, what did you for that one? And hearing what they'd done and being like, I misunderstood it. And you can read, but can you actually read? That's the thing. Yeah, we have this real mentality of like, this next hour will define my life. Whereas actually, you're like, yeah, I'll go again. Like even if whatever exam you're preparing for it absolutely balls up and you read the wrong question, you answer the wrong thing,

you have a total mind blank. You go again. If you want to do something, you will be able to do it regardless of what mark you get for that particular exam. Even if that means retaking stuff, even if that means, you know, taking a bit of a longer time to get to where you want to be, you've got so much more time than you think.

So that is the other thing of just like, first thing is like removing the pressure of, if I don't do this, then I'm fucked. Like you're not. Absolutely. Like, you just take that thing. It's like, this is not your last chance at this. This is not the only moment.

This is just the first moment of many attempts at this exam. Just take that away, you know? Take that pressure off, baby. Imagine a world in which doors actually started to close because of what you got in these exams. Like, it simply doesn't matter. Inherited wealth is what matters. Come on. However, so you go into these exams knowing that they are both completely stupid and give them your all, you know?

Yeah, give them respect. Whilst knowing that, whilst respecting yourself. Oh, yes. Yes. God, I'm pumped. I can't wait. I got my pencil sharpened. I'm going in.

Here we go. Keep an eye on the clock. Okay. Keep an eye on the clock. We chatted for the duration over the thing. Hang on with me. I'm the invigilator. Sorry, invigilator.

What are we doing? I'm really disturbing everyone. And shall we do our most adjudicator? thing of the week. Yes. I'm quite excited with mine. Mine is that I put up a curtain rail. That is exciting.

I've been thinking about putting up a curtain rail for a year. Understood. And just haven't had a curtain in there. Is it one with that hoot and you put little curtain hoops? No, I find them very stressful. I very stressed out by wooden curtain rail. Understood. Hoops.

I really don't like them. So this is a big curtain that has the hoops within. Oh, the hoops are within. The hoops within. It just sort of pleats around and it just goes on the bridge. oh, I don't like those wooden things. We haven't the time to unpack why. I think they're quite old-fashioned as well.

Yeah, but I don't like how they clack. It feels like you should have gone for a blind, but okay, like, whatever you feel. I hated the blind because that was wooden and that clacked. Oh my God, okay, right. There was so much clacking. So you've gone for a silent curtain. Yes. Okay.

Yes, I have. Yes, I have. Yes, I have. Yes. Yes, I have. No noise. Nothing. It's silent.

It's a array. It's not. And I got it from, it's just from IKEA. but it's, I measured it. I didn't just like, because again, my instinct was like a piece of copper pipe, an old bit of driftwood I found in a skip, you know, all of this stuff. And then I was like,

mate, have some self. Respect yourself. Respect the curtain. Yes. And get a, mount it properly. And mount it for fuck's sake. Like, do it properly. And, you know, I was drilling into brick and it wasn't going well. And my instinct was to be like, ah, put that screw in.

That'll be fine. And I thought, it won't be fine. It will be fine for a bit. that's coming down and you know it. Like, that's three pools away from coming off the wall. And then I did it properly, got my job, did my raw plugs, you know, did it properly. And I was so chuffed with myself. That's really great. So I've got a curtain.

Right. Okay. The clock has begun. Oh my God. 10 papers over everybody. So shall we go through, like move through it in a chronological fashion? Let's say you've got, we're a week out. We're a week out.

Jesus Christ. Here we go. We didn't do as much revision as we thought when we heard about this exam that was in several months time. We've known it's been happening for a while. Oh, God, we've known about this. Yes. But let's be honest with ourselves.

We've not revised. We've not done it. Not much anyway. No, so. Go for it. My number one thing is, and I've actually sworn here, so I am sorry if you're underage, I've written as a note to myself, get the motherfucking past papers. Oh, get those motherfucking pass papers.

And then as a follow-up, get the motherfucking mark scheme. Oh, that's interesting. This is, because we went to school pre the, no, that's not true. We had the internet. Yeah. But you could not have Google. edXL mark scheme. I don't think that was a thing that was... And some good teachers... I was at state school, so some good teachers gave us loads of

past papers. Some didn't. And it was like, great, thanks guys. Thanks guys. What have you done that for? But luckily, no matter where you are, you've got access to the internet. So I want you to be getting up as many... I'm looking at 10. I'm not the last 10 years of the last of this paper because guess what? The people who make them up have very little imagination. There will be... It's cyclical. There will be similar themes coming up. there will be similar questions over and over again. And then you can have a little bit with yourself about like, I think it's going to be, I think this is the areas.

One of the biggest differences that I feel quite confident about saying is that so I said about a million times now, sorry, but I went to state school that was fine, good to not good, I would say. So we had the whole gamut of teachers. My history teacher stood out because he like wrote the textbooks for the country and had taught in much better schools and came to the state school. to kind of teach in a state school environment rather than a private school environment.

And so all of the textbooks were his and stuff. And he was the only teacher that had worked out through the cycle what was probably going to come up. And I feel like better schools, the teachers do that. They know what questions are probably likely to come up. And if you're in a state school or you're in a school that isn't as good, your teachers may not be doing that. But you can do that yourself.

If you can't do it yourself, you can ask the teachers. They'll know or they'll have. some idea and they can guide you. But yeah, that was the biggest thing that I remember thinking, like, in all of the other lessons I had, no one knew what was going to come up and we weren't told, and only in history. And we sat in the exam, and we all were just like, yeah, it's the exact questions that Mr. Cloke said. Like, he absolutely smashed it. But yeah, that is such a good thing of going back and seeing, if it's like in four-year cycles

or something, isn't it? Yeah. And even if it isn't like, sometimes they throw out some absolutely wild thing that's not in there, but at least you know that everyone in the country is like, wild that's a nod that's a that's a curveball that we weren't you know so you go in there with like just a bit more forearmed and a bit more like oh okay I get it like after I graduated I did a journalism qualification at clapham college and it was like a three month qualification and there was a written exam and it was the first time in my life that I started to understand that I went to a school that prepped you not for life

but for exams and that we you know that I understand like I'm just like I'm I'm really good at exams and not good at living. Because this exam came up. It was everything we'd covered. And so there's stuff on the monarchy. There's stuff on how to report on a court case. And people like lost their minds. Like the textbook was like the size of the yellow pages.

Again, what a dated reference. A big old book. Imagine a big book. Like a huge book. It was so big. And people were freaking out because they were like, like, I don't know it all. And I was like, you don't have to know it all. You have to know what's coming up. And they were like, what? And I was like, guys, we're not going to be working hard. We're

working smart. And the whole group were like, okay, what should we do? So I went and found all the past papers. I told everybody what was coming up. And I was so correct that people, the word got out that that I had stolen the actual exam paper. Oh my God. I mean, I didn't mind, didn't I let that rumor I allowed that rumor to grow. But that's how correct I was. And I was like, okay, everyone, you mustn't get yourselves freaked out that you need to know. You're obviously going to be better journalists than me because you actually know the stuff. Anyway, get those past papers.

Because also as well, psychologically, you will be used to the way that they word the questions. When you open the paper, it will be the only difference will be, it will be in colour rather than black and white. Sure. And you're like, oh. Okay. Welcome to all. But the layout will be the same And I know that sounds so obvious

But it will just feel you won't feel so alien to you But the other thing that Mr. Cloak taught me Which I did in every single exam And it helped so much And it takes a bit of grit Is planning So obviously if you're doing like a maths paper That's very different

But he was a big encourager Of going through the entire paper And then going back and doing it So for example with a history exam Or a more like a humanities exam you've got maybe your big essay questions. Your planning time is built in to your exam time. So say it's a three hour or a three and a half hour exam.

You will have 15 minutes to plan each of those big essay questions. And then you go back and then because you will burn out by the time you get to your third one if you don't plan it. So plan, if you're doing a humanities exam, any of the kind of essay based exams, I did in English literature at Durham and no one told me to do, I mean, no one really told me anything. when I did my exam. We got like five contact hours a week and you didn't have to do them

so it was absolutely disaster. But like one thing I did do and it helped even when I was really coasting towards the end of my degree and I'd go and the first half hour to 45 minutes was spent just planning each of the essays. By the time you get to your third one

you're like Jesus Christ all that's got to do is write out what I've planned and so you don't have that horrible feeling three times or four times or whatever when you're like and what's the next one going to be because you already know. And my maths teacher I remember saying as well, because I was really bad at maths, similarly, going through the paper and if you can't answer something,

or you're like, what the fuck, just move on, rather than spending the whole time panicking about the one you can't answer, I know it gets harder as it goes along with like maths and physics and less creative exams. But the further you go along, like there will be other things that you will know and you will psychologically get yourself into a tizzy if you have spent, half an hour on this one problem and then all your thing is I can't do it I can't do it

and then you'll actually end up misreading ones that you actually can do those were my main ones 100% I think the moment that they blow the whistle can say it is like the 100 metre squid game style of being like go go go and everybody this is my

noise the papers are flying in the air some people immediately start scribbling and you're like ha ha ha and then that I would say those first couple minutes they're gone they're fuchs state, you've lost, you're gone, you're on another plane. Yeah. So just spend them, going through, open every page, look through the whole thing, get a handle on everything, take your time. And then the panic has sort of receded, you know,

and we calmly, we begin. Because there's a horrible feeling of when you see the people next to you and what they're doing. And I remember Mr. Cloak was like, if you see someone and they've started writing, and it's like a humanities exam and you've seen them and there's writing away, writing away, riding away. and it's been half an hour and you haven't started, they're doing it wrong. You're doing it right.

Lisa Cloke is an absolute baller. Yeah, isn't it incredible? He was like, I remember him saying like, hold your nerve. Hold the line, boys, yeah. And it felt good because it felt like we were all going in together in our class. We were all just like, hmm, we've got this, we've got this.

You were spending that first 15 minutes, however you want to approach the exam, familiarising yourself with the whole thing, so you're not going to get freaked out later? Like, hold your nerve. Hold the nerve. That's fantastic. I remember we're on the sports hall

and so quickly into the exam, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, a girl's hand went in the air and to ask for more paper. And there was an audible, we were like, huh? Yeah. What?

And everybody just freaked out because we were like, what you got? She's written big. And also, she's cross-losing stuff out. She's throwing stuff around. She's kind of freak us all out. And everyone else was like,

I need more paper as well. Yeah, this is it. This is a big. Chill out. And also, Stevie is saying half an hour of planning, obviously that is, if your exam is 40 minutes long, don't, you know, like whatever your percentage of, you know, the time is. You spend the first five minutes breaking it up into segments, so work backwards. Whatever time they've given you, they have factored in a certain amount of time for planning and don't not use that time. Use that time. Yeah, and also as well, he said to write down the times. You don't have you doing this part in the exam. You already know what questions, that how many questions are going to be on the paper. Because we're. looked at our past papers. We already know the time. So we're going in there being like, I know there's going to be three questions. I know that one only carries five marks, so I'm not freaking out, whereas one carries 75, so I may be erring on that side. And I know

that I'm spending this much time planning, this much time writing, and then I'm moving on. Yes, and you can do timestamps on the front of page of your exam. You can write all over the exam. You can draw on it, you can write whatever you like. So on the front page, you're going to write your journey of the exam. So it's going to be. You're going to write your journey of the exam. So it's going to be like, it starts at 9.9 to 910, plan first one, 910 to 920, plan the second one. 920 to 930 to plan the third one. Then we're going to go through it. And then, so basically, each time, so you can just, at any point, you are calm and you can check the time and be like, right, I've got 15 minutes.

And then I'm going to have to move on to the next question. So that is the, yeah, the roadmap of it. I'm panicking because I don't know how long all exams are and how many questions you've got. But why would I know that? So obviously, you will know that, listen. So you do your own prep pre this. We can't help you at this point with the maths part, but you know going into it,

you know exactly what you're going to do. And if in that moment you're like, I must remember to say this particular date or I must remember this particular thing, as soon as you sit down, write it down. Get those down, get those down, get it out of your head. So you're not freaking out about it. Put those down there.

Maybe you don't even have to use it. But if you've remembered it, whack it in. Like those triangles, the physics triangles, speed equals time over sex. Yeah, that's the one. Someone told me just to just to just write it. all of the triangles down immediately. It's like, oh, okay, so I just like wrote them all.

Because then you can be looking at the triangle outside the room. Everyone's like, come in the room, please, put the triangles down. Get to your seat. Yes. You only had to carry it in your mind for a few minutes. Right the triangles down. Somebody literally did say as you carry the triangles in your mind. Carry the triangles into your mind.

No, I've forgotten because I got so many tips, but thank you so much to whoever DM'd me and said basically have a key facts sheet. Walk into the exam, throw it, put it in the bin as you. you walk into the exam. Sick. And then in your head, you just like jot, jot everything down that you can. Walking in there, like brushing off your shoulders, into the bin, sitting down, baller. And crucially, don't look at it when you leave, because it has to go into the bin.

Otherwise, you look at it, leave and go, oh, God, I forgot that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't look at it's gone. No, that's gone. It's gone out of your head. Okay, a couple more on the, on the, we're still revising. We haven't got in there yet. I'd like to see a bit of revision in silence, please, everyone.

I just think if you're like headphones on, pumping tunes, that's how you like to learn. Be aware that when you get in there, it will be deathly silent. And so if that's, and I don't want that to be a shock to the system. And so perhaps revising in silence will help you maybe mentally shift into that like. That's very clever. We're revising frame of mind. It feels like a very personal thing to you there that you may have gone into the exam and been like, it's so quiet. No, not me. I love the silence anyway.

Sure, of course, yeah. Famously, about a month ago, you said you'd never listen to music. That's correct. While doing things. That's correct, yeah. Yeah. So actually, I don't mind an exam because it's quiet and I'm so easily distracted. That actually is quite a pleasant space.

So I don't mind it, but I do know that people find that hellish, like, to be in that silence. So that's not from me. And my other one similarly is, especially now in this computer-led world, so much of your essays, or your work is going to be on the computer now and actually writing an essay with your hand. It felt mad in 2009. It's going to feel insane to you, lads. Yeah, God.

That's why past papers are so helpful. Get, like, practice actually writing on an exam paper. Yeah, and if you can, either with your friends or if people at home are being helpful, if the more that you can have a, like, everybody come into the kitchen now, sit at the table, blow the whistle. So you're going to actually do role playing

like you're actually in the exam. Yes. Just to have a practice about what that actual amount of time feels like, what the silence feels like, what trying to scribble with your hot little paw feels like, your hand cramping. Your hands cramping. This bone here is getting red.

And you're like, this is all new. I had a big welt on my ring finger for ages. And now I don't anymore because I don't write enough. Now I've just got a misshapen pinky finger because of holding my phone. Oh, horrid. That's absolutely horrible. It's awful, isn't it? But that, yeah, that fucking bone

when you're about sort of three hours in and you're like, your pen is like... Your pen is like... Your pen is like... Yeah. Exactly that. And so just the more that you can like prep for the physical aspects of it,

the more that they won't be... Hand exercises. The hand exercises, just know that you're like, oh my God, my hand. My hand. My hand's going to drop. My hand. My hair. My pure, pure hand.

What do they got on there? Robin. I'm going to read out Robin's entire message because it's so helpful. So she says, I'm not a teacher, but I'm a battle-worn student. She's done many exams. The best advice I was ever given was to translate the information I was learning twice. So you read the text or whatever you're reading, then you make it into notes, then you make it into a sort of revision poster or like a mind map because then something happens

in your brain that processes you to remember it. So it's three different degrees. This is like a revision tip. change the format. So if it's bullet points, make it into a mind map. If it's already a mind map, then write it into little sentences. Or flashcards. Because then it allows your brain's engaged twice. So then you're more likely to.

So if you've got a week to go and there's a certain part of your degree or GCCC is that you're just not getting, you're really worried about, try that for this next week. Try to translate it into as many different formats as possible. That's gorgeous. I think like Mrs. Nurg, for example, or whatever you're... I'm so, sorry, I have to stop there. Mrs. Nurg? Yes, I think when you learned the seven signs of life in biology,

movement, reproduction, something, sex, maybe for S, nutrition, E, R and G, right? I sound like I'm gone mad. No, you don't. That sounds right. I just, I've completely forgotten. Let's what happens with Google Mrs. NERG. Key Stage 2, so it's not really A-level. I was thinking, like,

what's Mrs. NERG? So if it any six-year-olds listening. Look at the state of the cartoons of it. I thought this was like a level. Oh, my God. No, no. It's not the child learning. Okay, so if you are in preschool, you will learn about Mrs. Nurg.

It's the characteristics of living things. But as a seven, they're quite hard to remember. When you're seven. But if you've got Mrs. Nerg, you're like, all right, yeah. I know that I'm hunting for an N. Creating some acronyms for yourself. So I think I just had so many acronyms going into the exams of being like, these are the things I need to remember.

Or, you know, exactly what Robin is saying of like, here's all this enormous amount of text, now I've made it into bullet points, and now I've made it into even smaller. We've made it into the equivalent of Mrs. Nerg. Yeah, definitely. And also that would be perfect to have on your... fact sheet just before you go in, just to remind yourself of all of your acronyms, your,

the only one I can remember is my very early morning jam sandwiches usually nauseate people, which is the planets away from the sun. But that was never in an exam. I just wanted to know it. And that was very much in primary school. The more of these like fun things that you can remember, the more you can make it fun as opposed to dreadful, the more that you'll be like, oh, I remember Stevie's jam sandwiches situation. Yeah. I'm doing it in groups. I remember I taught my friend,

I didn't teach my friend French, but I feel like I did. I saw her a few months ago, and she was like, remember when he taught me French? I was like, yes, I think I did. In return, I was really about physics. So she taught me and helped me with physics

while I helped her with French. So finding friends who are good at the thing you're okay with. Basically just as well, your brain, you know how everybody says like, I'm like more of a, I remember, oh God, there was this girl. Well, GTCs who would say very confidently, like, I use colours because that's how I retain information.

And I'm just being like, I don't know how I retain information. How do I know? There were no BuzzFeed quizzes then. Busfeed is now, sadly, gone on to, so that's a dated reference. Sure, sure, sure. But infuriating. So I suppose if you don't know, as well, just try as many different ways as possible. And one will feel natural to you.

And you'll be like, oh, that is helping it go in. and some won't like you know some people do the thing where they visualize a house and all the stuff is in the house and it's like I actually can't do that I just don't think I'm like what colors the house and like I think there's I'm not a hundred of buy a house and there's nothing more stressful than when someone's saying this is how we're going to learn and you're like oh okay I guess I'm just thick a shit because that I'm just thinking about the house you know that we currently believe them there to be 12 different types of learner um people who take it in orally kinetic people who want to touch everything thing, the colour girl, house people. There's all these different types of learner. And so just because one person's technique isn't working

for you doesn't mean that you're doing it wrong. You just need a different technique. And to be like, this is a thing I like to do. And for me it's small acronyms. Is it small acronyms? But one thing that unifies everything is it doesn't matter how you learn, you are going to have to write it down on that exam

paper. So that's why past papers. It all comes down to the past papers. And in that last week, that is probably when you should be doing the most kind of like you're just rattling through those past papers. Every revision session ends in you tackling one pass paper question. So you build that in. What are they telling us now? Are we ready to go into the actual exam?

I'm ready. I'm going in there. I'm dressed smartly and I'm going in. Oh, Jesus. Okay. I'm showing up out of respect for myself and respect for the exam. Okay. This is about the exam itself in terms of just yourself.

So not really about the information that you're. trying to remember. Obviously don't arrive late, but also avoiding things like coffee and energy drinks, are people like bringing in red bulls and stuff? You're like, you're going to be a mess. You're going to be jittery. Also, you're going to have a huge caffeine dive. If it's like a long exam, it's like, well, we're in the long fall. Here's my relentless. Like, you know, like lots of water, all that, that sort of stuff. And also, crucially, don't worry if you, this is a big one for me that I really helped. This is Stephanie. Thank you so much, definitely. I struggle to sleep when I'm nervous or just in general, and that would be a huge thing

for me. So if the night before I hadn't slept, I'd be like, well, now I'm going to fail. The information doesn't fly out of your brain because you've not slept for one night, especially when you're young and you're elastic, your brain is able to go like, and the adrenaline will kick in and you will be absolutely fine and the worrying about the fact that you haven't slept or you haven't like, you know, done some meditation and you've been actually really stressed and you have been cramming and everyone says not to cram, but you've crammed. Everything is fine and you will be able to retain more information than you think. It's not like your brain is going to shut down because you had three hours sleep and you were

like panicking and you also because you drank a bit of Red Bull. Like all of those things that are like, oh God, I haven't done them. Don't, all the matters is that you are there and you have done enough work that you'll be able to write something and you'll be fine. Yeah, that was like something that I thought was helpful. Yeah, that's incredibly helpful. It's so easy to be like, well, everything's ruined. Everything's ruined.

But it simply isn't. You can do it. You can, even with no sleep whatsoever. And don't get stoned for your 10-hour art, GCSE. Is that what you did? Someone else has messaged to me saying that they got stoned because it was 10 hours. And they were like, this will really open my mind. Did they make something good?

No. And that's very, very funny. Oh, God. Art GCSE. You've got your key stuff. You're looking at it. You're going in, you're throwing it in the bin. you're in, you're writing down all your key acronyms, your symbols, the things to remember,

you know, even if it's like an English thing, like the dates of plays or the whatever, you've made the plan, you've seen how long that the exam is, it's on the front cover, so while everyone's just like fanning around, looking around, you're looking at the clock and you're going, right, okay, so we've got four and a half hours, we've turned over the paper, you've seen all of the questions, you've mapped out, your plan time, you've mapped out, your writing time, you know exactly what the journey between this and you leaving the room is going to be. There's no sense that you're ever going to look at the clock and go, well, I don't know how far shall I've got through it?

You're not, you're never going to think that because you've planned it. And then something that everybody has said, that whole like read the question thing, I remember basically just doing out of fear because I was like, well, everyone keeps saying to do this, but I don't think it's going to help. And it does help. So go through and underline all of the active words in the question. underline everything that you, that is telling you exactly what you're supposed to do, underline the key people, the exactly what the question is laying out that you need to format your

answer with, like, everything, so that then you fully understand it and give it enough time, because the worst thing is when you come out and you're a mentalist, the advantages of something and you actually listed all the negatives, because you've learned the negatives in your acronym. But actually, you've got to go negative space and think about all the negatives in your acronym and then go, what are the ones I didn't say? And then write those down. And he didn't. The worst. Yeah. Basically, I did that exact thing.

It makes me feel sick. Well done. Mary in our history, GCC, I actually can't remember exactly what the question was, but she was so desperate to write on the topic of, it wasn't even this, but the death of Henry V, that when it was asked about the death of Henry the 6th, she just thought, fantastic, there it is, that's my question, wrote about the wrong king. I mean, this wasn't it, but like, and I remember her coming out, and she was. was delighted, like, truly delighted. And everyone was like, it wasn't him in the film.

It wasn't that one. And she was like, yes, it was. And she'd wanted it to be that so badly that it was. You know, she just looked at the paper. There it is. And she just started writing. It's such a horrible feeling because you're so sure that you saw what you wanted to see. Your brain is filled in.

It's like your brain has just written another question for you. So, yeah. Yeah. It happens to the best of us. It'll happen to you if you don't underline and take your time. Or a highlighter as well. It's nice of a highlighted. You know, do you feel.

Fancy? I don't know if you even allowed a highlighter in there, are you? Why not? I mean, I think you are, yeah. Why the hell not? You have five more minutes, everyone. Five more five? No, I knew that because I planned. I knew that. I was prepared. I knew what was coming. I'm actually being using that extra, that last five minutes to go back through everything and just reread. And just check, wow. Wow, wow, we were. Good for you. I'm going to bring us home with my final one, which is about cheating.

I'm terrified. You're going to now just. say how to cheat. I'm absolutely not. I'm going to, and this is coming from me as well. Can you imagine? I'm going to tell you not to do it. I know people who have put it on the legs underneath their skirt. Or underneath, exactly, underneath the tights because you can pull up the tights.

Oh, now we're transparent where we were once opaque. What was once hidden has become revealed. And don't say that when you're revealing. Out loud. As you're looking at the math equations on your leg. I've known people with it down their, on their bosoms. Yes. So that you're very obvious when you're looking at that.

Absolutely. I don't know what the hell. So they were like, no, I'm sneezing. With my eyes. You're looking down your chest. I know a girl who made in GCSE textiles a skirt because everyone was making skirts. And hers was screen printed pieces from the textbook. And yeah, and it was this amazing sort of like patterned skirt.

with all like collage and, you know, cutouts and pin up girls and like all this amazing stuff on it. So you, and it just had text on it. You wouldn't have necessarily known what it was, but it was the stuff she needed in the exam. She did not get caught. There's no way you would ever have known that's what it was. It was just a cool skirt. She described it as absolutely fucking pointless because she had taken so much time to choose the pieces, screen print them.

Yes. Just revise at that point. She knew, at this point, I remember me. She was like, I knew everything. I was on, I was sat on my life. I don't need to look down. I know it. Like, I know it. I ironed it on. You know, like, so the effort that you will go to to cheat is almost is negligent. Yeah. Why not? I'm like, it's actually, it will take you more time to cheat than it will to just do it correctly.

Yeah. And more stress as well in the room, I imagine. Oh my God. You won't, you'll know what's on your leg because your heart will be through your chest where your other things are written down. Like, it's just not worth it and it's actually detrimental. And so that it doesn't come from a place of being like, cheating is wrong. it comes from a place of being like, it will slow you down. Oh my God. I remember, you know, like you can take the text into some of the English exams. I accidentally, it was complete by the accident, a revision card was left in the book. So when I sat down to the exam, I opened a book and I'd show it again. It was like this full revision card with dates and stuff, which thankfully wasn't actually hugely helpful. It wasn't like the most important one, but it was still relevant to the exam. And so I didn't do anything.

I was just like, for instance, I just did the exam and just like hid it in the back. But I really struggled at that exam because I was so terrified. Yeah. Someone was, they were all just going to go through and like pick up all the books just to shake him or something. Right. Or just see it. And I like, yeah, it was awful. It was absolutely horrible.

And I was like, I'm really glad I've never cheated because I wouldn't be able to focus on anything. Yeah. A hundred percent. And it wasn't even any help to you. Yeah. Absolutely. You're just. Well, I couldn't look at it because I was like, they'll see me looking at it and I'll be shot.

Yeah. I'll be shot. It's like, I'll go to jail. I'll have to leave. the school, you know, and you're dripping and sweat, you're holding yourself back. So just, yeah, cheating is not, you don't need it. You're only cheating yourself. You're only cheating yourself. And as my final thing to bring it home to say, have a go. They cannot give you any points for a blank piece of paper. So even if you're like, I have never seen this question before. I don't know what

the hell they want. Please write anything down. Yeah. They cannot negatively mark you. They can only award your attempts. And there might be, who knows, maybe you, by chance, you go. Yeah, maths. We were told if you honestly have no fucking idea. Just write a number. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I got like a, I got like a D or an E or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we were all in there being like, 2.4.

Could be. Not, not, is it? And a question mark. Yeah, 2.4? For everything. X, in a way it is. In a way. It's everything.

In a way. You're really drilled down into it. But I would have got, look, I may have got one point for trying. Yeah, exactly. And one point is one point when we need, one point might tip the balance between this being a total disaster. Especially multiple choice as well. Oh my God.

You've got to do all the ones you know. You're shooting yourself in your foot if you're not putting anything. Go back. Yeah, I think we were even told that you're like, go back over at the end and just put a... I don't want to see a single blank answer. No. Not one.

Go back. Have a go. Have a go. Forget it. The moment you leave the exam room, just don't think about it. No. Forget about it. Yeah, you'll want to chat.

Oh, that was harder. Don't get into big discussions with friends about what they wrote, what you. you wrote, there was honestly, apart from that like, you know, initial you're out and everyone wants to go, oh my God, that question about the thing. It was so horrible. Why did they do that? Or like, oh, that one came up. That's fun. You only, you've revised a thing and that came up. Great. And then you can just like, just the kind of top line stuff and then remove yourself from any conversation that goes more in depth because you do not, that person who's telling you like,

oh, no, I think it was that. They may be wrong. They may have misread the question. And you know it doesn't achieve anything. It's done, maybe. It's done. Be free. Until next time, we've got to retake it, which is fine. Absolutely fine. I know loads of people who've done that. It doesn't matter. Do your best. You're doing great. You're doing great. Plan it. Put your times there. You're going in, you're planning out your journey, map out your route.

Hold your own hand. Oh. Good luck to everybody. Pensdown. The exam is now.