Nobody Panic - How to Smash a Job Interview

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

You’ve got an interview! Well done you! But now - oh god - you’ve got to actually go and do it. Whether you’re a first time job interviewee or you’ve done it a few times and thought good lord I’m not GREAT at this, we’ve got some tips to help get you through. It’s alllllll good practice.Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. that will help you hopefully learn some things about how to do some things in life. Or not.

Or not. Or not. Come on in. Take a seat. And let's begin. Because this one is all about how to nail a job interview. Come on in. Let us tell you a little bit about the business before the interview begins.

And what we'll be bringing to the interview. I'm Stevie. And I'm bringing the sass. I'm Dazza. I'm bringing. What am I bringing, Stevie? Good tidings. I'm bringing good tidings.

Thank you. Yeah. I am bringing good tidings. If you're new to the podcast, welcome. Come on in. If you are a long time lister and you've run out of content, may we point you towards the debrief podcast, which is what this podcast used to be called,

just in case he didn't know it was there, as there was a whole back catalogue of things waiting for you. Well, we were so young. It was like four years ago now. We were like, Hello. That's what we sound like. And we did do this one.

them as the debut podcast, but I think we can bring, we've got more to, we've got more to say. We're old now. We're all. We've lived. We're really old. Yeah. Whereas then, we was like spring chickens. But before we go into job interview, what is the most adult thing you've done this week? Tessa, Coates. Well, Stevie, I have got myself. Wait, I'm going to move the might, see if you can hear this. Hang on. Did you hear that? You've got yourself a vibrator.

No. Okay. Genuinely, that's what I heard. Oh, that is correct. I mean, it is by, no. No, okay, which case, I regret all of this. I have bought myself something called Upright Go. It starts on, it's a Kickstarter. It is a posture corrector. It's just like a miniature, like almost like a mouse, Matt. May I, Tessa just reached behind her and whipped that off her back. With no explanation. Does that stuck to your back with Pritz?

No, it's like got a special sticky thing And you stick it on your spine just at the top And then when you If you aren't standing up straight It vibrates and tells you to stand back up It's like being in Blade Runner I absolutely love it I mean I've only had it a couple of days

And I cannot tell you if there's been any difference But let me tell you I'm having a great time I'm really into it So I'll report back if it actually makes a long time change Just because I've been worried about my posture for I mean my posture is so bad And it's only getting worse Anyway, that's mine, baby.

What's, what you bring into the table today? I'm bringing to the table that, so I've moved house. Still renting, don't worry. Anyone who's like, we've lost, we've lost both of them. No, I'm still renting. But I've got a little office, which was the reason for moving. It's the gal's room. It's me and my tortoise.

And already that's a problem. So it means I've had to move into the other office because obviously the tortoise is too loud to do audio work with. An immediate stumbling block. But the main thing is, is that I, and I think, we've talked a lot in the past about things like DIY and decorating and how like you've just got to go for it you've got to enjoy I've been like come on guys like just find me inspiration you know what this is going I can't buy anything to go in it because I'm so frightened that it won't go

with the other thing right it's just too overwhelmed I understand loads of boxes in there and so like for example was like I'll just buy chest of jaws like that'll cheer me up spent three hours looking they're all 400 pounds all the nice ones or just terrible ones and I mean like I'm just upcycling. I'm like, I can't. I don't know how to do that. Anyway, the point is, is I did buy a thing. I bought an office chair.

I don't have a desk yet, but I bought a chair. And it's like forest green with like brass, wheelie base. Wow. Because I've seen it on Instagram a million times. So that was my adult thing, really, that I did make a decision. It arrived. It's slightly lighter green than I'd have liked, and I'm not sure about it.

But I'm keeping it. And now I'm going to. Slowly, by other things, all based off the chair. Yeah, perfect. That's a starting point. Work from that. Well done. That's huge.

That's absolutely huge. This snaps for you. Well, that's enough about the business. Let's hear about you, candidate. Come on, hence. So this was a suggestion, wasn't it? Would you care to read it out? This is from Danny.

Beautiful name. As a uni student, it's so daunting, stepping into adulthood, and this podcast normalises all of my qualms. He really are reading out the conference. I forgot. I forgot. I thought this began. I thought the as my uni, as a union student was the beginning of the question, not more praise. But now I've begun, I'll carry on with the praise. No. As a suggestion, I saw you haven't done how to smash a job interview yet and would love to hear that. So daunting, stepping into adulthood as a uni student. Yes, 100%. It's a tricky one, a job interview, especially if it's your first time. Even if you're not your first time. No, it's hard your hundredth time.

It's hard your first time. You are going and asking someone, do you think that I'm the best? And then they say yes or no. Is it me? Is it me? And you can't help but be emotionally engaged in that answer. Of course. No matter how much they're like, it's not personal and blah, blah, blah.

It's like you can't not take it personally, you know? It's really, really, really tough. And to pretend it's not, is a disservice to yourself, quite frankly. And that's all we have to say on the matter. Good, bye. Good luck and goodbye. No, the one positive about going for your first job interview, I feel, is that you do need to almost get it out the way so that then you know what it feels like to do it. You know also what your reaction is to it because it's like with anything with public speaking or doing a presentation or, you know, you and your lover having your first tiff.

Like you want to know what it's like. So then you'd be like, okay, right, well, then the next time I do it, I know that I'll get a drive. my mouth so I'll always ask for a glass of water before we do it or I know that I'll have a tendency to kind of like babble so I will try and keep a handle on that. The very first point is pick a job you don't actually really care about or want. No. Yeah I think that's the truth. Apply for a job that mean that you're like don't don't wait don't save it up for your pack you know just pick a just apply for a job. What's what's wrong with that? It's a suggestion. Okay I'll tell you for why now you might be this person as well, I said, but I did apply for, I'd say maybe hundreds of journalism jobs.

And I only got a job interview for one of them. And that was my first job. So I don't think it's very easy to just get a job interview. Also, there's a massive difference between, for example, very different, say like a waitressing job interview to an actual corporate job interview. So a waitering job interview or a waitering job interview, I should say, they just want to look at you and see if you are able to hold plates and you and just hold eye contact. Whereas a corporate job interview, you know, you're in a suit. You go into this like building that is full of these like real adults doing hot business and you don't understand what they're doing. And it's so different. And so of course, there is merit in what you're saying in terms of like, yes, I've had a job into me before,

but it's very difficult to be like, go and do a corporate job interview before. Honestly, that's my advice. Just have a little practice. Okay, may I say where that comes from in me? Of course. I worked for a temping company for a long time who would send you out to different temping jobs. And then once they were like, we've got you actually a proper, because they were also worked in recruitment. They were like a proper like two year contract has come up. And I was like, I can't be clear enough. I don't want to do that.

I'm here just for temping work. And they were like, we really think you should go. These temping people like knew that like I wanted to be a writer. And they were like, they said the company have seen that you want to be a writer. And they said there's loads of scope. for you, like, writing the company newsletter. And I was like, okay, I really don't want to do this thing. And I do remember that interview really changed my perspective on everything

because it was the first time I'd ever been in a room where I didn't want the job. What I'm saying, I guess, is sort of say yes to everything and, like, go to everything and put yourself in these positions all the time. So when, like, the stuff that you care desperately about comes around, you've had these other ones practices under your belt. That does make sense now to get as much experience of a job interview as possible. because if you get offered the job after a job interview, you are so within your rights to say, no,

it's not like you're letting anyone down. Like, they will have had a million applicants, so they'll just go to the next one down, and you've given someone the job who really wanted the job. How lovely. Exactly. Yes, that is, that is, I'm so sorry, it just, it sounded mad, but you know what?

As with many things that you say that are mad, there's a kernel of truth. A tiny kernel of use in there. One of the things that I found was that a lot of, articles and advice would be like research research research research and i'll be like yeah what what what what do I what do you want me to look at what the company is I know what it is do I need to know like how many employers they have and like what percentage of growth they have like what so when you are asked you know when you get to that level of getting a job interview when you're researching research obviously what the

company is and what it does. And if there's anything interesting about the company, so then in the job interview, when, for example, you know, there's just like chit chat or whatever, you can say like, oh, I saw that this happened and I saw this, this article about you guys in this industry magazine. That was really cool. It's just, it's not so that then that they will quiz you. It's just so that you have something to say, A, and B, you've shown them that you have the initiative to have looked at an industry magazine or a website or whatever and have actually done a little bit of recent. It's more. showing them that you have done the research rather than they'll be like, that's weird that you've

brought the hell. No one's going to say that. But also as well, it doesn't mean just researching the company. It means researching and preparing what your answers to questions are going to be, for example, such as, and if you get any questions for us, so you don't just go like, where's your tie from? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The research one is tricky because you're like, okay, where's this line between like interested candidate and like stalker who's like, I saw that your growth in 2004 was 84% and you let go of Janet in HR and everyone's like, okay. How do you know that? But if you feel like you already really know the company, be like, yeah, great, done. Well, one of the main fears I had was oddly not the questions because all of those questions

are your strengths, what are your weaknesses? Why would you like to work at this company? You can, you know, there are lists online. You can prepare for those like classic job interview questions and you can know what you're going to say and you can refresh on your CV or whatever. it's that bit where there's not been a question and you're just like walking down the corridor with them or you're just sort of like getting settled and you're sort of chit chat and you're like what do I say like what will I say to them like have you did you watch drag race like you can't do you know and actually some some some companies sure you can't but if it's a very formal setting then you know you have to be very and that and that's the problem in terms of us giving very specific advice because of course job interviews that I was going for

for example, the job interviews that I've had have ranged from like sort of PR companies to, to tempt things to women's magazines. And obviously with the women's magazine stuff, that really varies as well because there'll be like cool online at the time. Anyway, they were like, cool online magazines who then were like, did you see drag raids last night? Or like, you know, oh, you're watching Love Island and all of that. And then there were the more kind of posh magazines that you had to be like, hello. whatever, to them. The lady.

The lady has arrived. No, I meant the lady, the magazine. I realized that as I was saying it was like, oh, I just said, I've arrived. I bet every time the magazine comes out in print, they pass it to each other and say, the lady has arrived. The lady has arrived. But yes, so if you know the company, you know what sort of image that they are projecting. If they're projecting this really like, we have slides instead of lifts and the CEO was

12 and we will sit on bean bags or space hoppers you know then you know okay it's still again

never sleep on the kind of formal element because you do want to appear it's always better to appear a little bit more serious than going in like

hey and actually you've got it wrong I feel like the average person has got a real freak flag and I would say always uh

towards serious front and little hints of your freak flag rather than lead with your freak flag, which will just come out in its own time and in its own way and will be a parent in your, in, in you always just switch it around and be like, okay, if I was hiring for this job, I'd want someone who was fun in the workplace and who was like good to get along with, but also I want to know that you like, you show up and you do the job and I pay you

and you do the thing I've asked you to do for money. Yes. And so I would say like let them lead with the questions of like the drag race stuff. Like if they are open with like, yes, get it right in like show them that you're, whatever you're interested in. But otherwise like let them sort of set the tone of the like, are we discussing the weather? Are we discussing this? Always following their lead, always. And you won't get the clothes wrong if you go for smart. Like, you won't get it wrong because if you walk in there and you're like, oh my God, everyone who works here is wearing jeans, it doesn't matter because you've gone for a job interview. You haven't gone for like a test to see whether you dress the same as everyone else.

Like everybody knows that a job interview is smart. So that that won't count against you at all. No. Because nobody else is thinking that you're stupid. Everyone else is just thinking, that person has come for a job interview and I would have worn the exact same thing. Yeah, 100%.

I'm just remembering now like a real memory where I went for an interview at a PR firm and when there's like big glass, like glass building steel and like all very like, oh. And I borrowed my friends really nice black dress. It was like just really like subtle but like expensive. I mean for me it was. expensive so it was probably from Zara because back then Zara for me was very expensive but I was like oh god it's such Zava dress it's not primark fuck and I I felt I just didn't feel like myself at all and when

they came out to be like Stevie Martin I waved at them and I was like oh I feel so weird why did I wave and then I was so off-kilt at the whole time that I did a terrible interview I didn't get it obviously but I just felt I couldn't just I just couldn't be myself at all because I just felt so weird in this dress I would never way. I'm not saying, you know, we've taught a lot now about clothes. Maybe we should move on. In terms of the actual, like, content of the interview, like we say, there are those classic job interview questions that will come up within your industry. They will be different for every different job, but you've got your classics, you've got your why would you like to work at this company? Why would you be the perfect person for this job? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?

Do you have any questions for us? All of that stuff. So there are obviously different etiquette with different industries. But if you can, if you know anybody, anybody at all that works in the industry or adjacent to the industry or, in my case, it was just anyone with a job, that they would be happy just on over the phone or in person is ideal. But I know some people, you know, it's too big and asking this. Maybe too embarrassing. But to get someone to just like run it through with you, because you would, it sounds, and I don't ever think I did this because I felt stupid, but don't underestimate how different it is saying your answers to a human being. It doesn't have to be the job interviewer.

It's just anybody. So get that out the way with someone that you know and trust. And who will say like, actually, you know, who can give you good like feedback as well, ideally who is somebody who works in the interview. Even if they're just your flatmate,

it's so helpful to hear the words that you're saying spoken aloud to an actual person. You can play out in your head a million times until you actually do it with another person. You won't know what it's like to be like, oh God, I've literally left my body. and this has gone.

Yeah. Absolutely terribly. And also give them a printout of your CV or whatever you've sent in as your application or whatever you've written, even though you're embarrassed, obviously you're embarrassed to do that. Let them see it. So when they look at your CV, they'll say like, what happened here in 2007? And then you'd be like, what?

When it just says, dropped off the face of the planet? Yeah. And then you be like, what? Why are you asking me that? It's like things that never occurred to you that make you immediately like hot and panicky and sweaty. And like just, just, I know it's so embarrassing to do. and you're like, I don't want to practice anyone.

I don't want anyone to see this like vulnerable side of me. I don't want to practice. It will be the most valuable thing you can possibly do. And just so that you've like had a go at this. And I know I've talked about this before, but a friend of mine does, works for a charity that gives Oxbridge prep interviews to kids from disadvantaged backgrounds

who maybe like haven't got all the things in place to help them. Oh my God, that's such an amazing job because my first ever interview was for Oxford and I never got any prep. And it was one of the worst things I've ever done. Yeah, it was absolutely... That's amazing. It was horrendous, like, going to those things

because you were so out of your depth and you'd never, I would say, going to those interviews. As a child, you'd never been in a room with adults who didn't want you to do well, who wanted to catch you out. Like, you'd never... You were like, the hell is this? Like, you'd never been in that sort of environment before. And so it was so disarming

because rather than sort of answering the question or being present in the room, you were sort of 10 steps back, being like, what's wanted from me here? Like, what am I supposed to do? Anyway, in this practice interview that my friend does with kids, he says, you know, come in, blah, blah, blah, and is like incredibly serious and poe face in the way that he and his actual life would never be, you know, which immediately makes everyone so tense and nervous because they're like, why is he so angry? And they say, okay, what does philosophy mean to you? And the kids answer the question. And then he is completely silent and he just stares at them until they say, actually, I mean, I mean this.

And then he said, they say something completely different. And then at the end, he like breaks character. and it's like, you did so fantastic, you were great, but like, when you finished your answer, just say, and that's what it means to me, and then that's the end of the answer, because they're there to, like, be, like, all cheeky and catch you out and be all Oxbridge about it. And so, like, as soon as you know that, you're like, okay, okay, I'm ready, I'm ready. I'm not, I'm not the crazy person in this scenario. Yeah.

I have some experience of what's wanted of me, and I'm, and I'm ready and I feel more confident rather than just constantly, you know, in the moment being like, what is, what is correct, like, what is wanted from me. Yes. one of the good things that you can do when you're researching is to look at your CV, look at the dates. So things like, for example, if there was a gap between when you graduated and your first job, or if there was, if you went traveling, or if there's just anything that you think that they might ask about and just have already prepared an answer that focuses on the positives. For example, if you went traveling and then they might casually say like, oh, you went traveling for two years before uni, you know, how was that or whatever. So if you went travelling, and so let's just say you did like one shift at a bar in the entire two years,

that is, oh yeah, yeah, I went travelling because I just really wanted to kind of work out what I wanted to do. I did a little bit of catering and bar work while I was out there, which was really helpful. Even just that, you've shown that you also had a bit of initiative, even though you didn't, you've shown the, so you shouldn't you've had a bit of initiative while you're out there. You're always thinking, you're always hustled. So it's looking at anything that you think, oh, God, like that, I just went and got pissed for a year or whatever, you can turn that into a positive by not lying, you know,

by just putting the positive spin on everything. And that's something. Often people go like, oh, I'm supposed to lie on my CV? No, don't lie on your CV, of course. Drag the positives out of whatever it is you have done because there will always be positives in there. Make sure that you're not scared that they're going to ask you something. And the things that you're frightened that they're going to ask you work on those the most

so that you feel really confident about them. everything else will fit into place. On the topic of leaving gaps, don't worry about leaving gaps. I always ask for a glass of water and take a sip of water and have a set thing that you will say, like, that's a really good question, which gives you some time to think. You can even say, like, that's a really great question. Just let, just let me have a think, because I want to answer that as fully as possible. Have a little think and then answer. Like, that's so much better than just launching and with no idea of what you're going to say. Nobody is going to mark you down because you paused before you said it. You're being tested on how your brain works and how you're able

to come up with solutions to problems and how you will work within a job. So if that means that you'll take some time to think and then answer as fully as possible, that shows that you'll be a really thoughtful person to work with. Absolutely. And listen to how powerful it sounded just then when Stevie was like, what a good question. I'm just going to take a moment to really answer that as properly as I can, or whatever you said that sounded more eloquent than that, that like, you're like, yeah, wow, please take your time, you know, like, you're immediately like, okay, if anything, it's more powerful to be like, okay, thank you, I'm really going to take my time with that. Because if you just start, if you go, ah, and then start just like flatlining.

Like a bird of prey. Well, honestly, people have asked me things. I've been like, oh my God. And then I'll just sort of talk them out loud, being like, I can't believe you're asking, wow and then after a minute actually I do know the answer hang on but if I had just said thank you let me just let me just have a think about it and then I would be like okay it's this and don't if nothing is coming

don't also don't freak like just the more that you can relax the more that those like bits of your brain where the answers are locked will open will gently open rather than you being like I've got nothing I've got absolutely nothing yeah and if there's a question that someone asks you and you don't understand the question you're not stupid for saying like

do you mean this or I don't quite understand that question like what does that actually mean that's absolutely fine like because then they can rephrase the question and then you just answer like don't be if you genuinely don't understand what what they've asked you that's totally fine don't pretend that you do and then answer it because then you'll sound mad and also like you're unable to just say I don't know I don't quite quite get that because somebody wants asked me if I oh no it's all right they were just asking if I did numerical and entry on keyboard or with the data pad. And they said it like so sassily.

Do you do numerical entry with the keyboard or on the data pad? And I was just like, I said, always the data pad. I didn't know what it meant. And I just was like, and I wish I'd just been like, I'm so sorry, what do you mean by the data pad and what do you mean by the keyboard? Which they would have said, do you use those numbers that go in order along the top of your keyboard? Or do you use those ones on the right hand side that are in a little,

in a little hexagonal shape. Oh, yes. Right? That was the answer. And I was like, no, I've never had anybody used that phrase before,

but me just like, quick as a whip being like, always the data pad. After it's like, what the hell is a data pad, you know? Like, so much more,

it is so much more professional and so much more reasonable just to just say, please, what is, please, what do you mean? Please, what do you mean?

Please. That's also the, that's the best sentence to use as well. Please, sir, what do you mean? What do you mean? Okay, just a few more quick ones. Obviously, be on time. If you show up...

Be early. It'd be early. Be so early. I do a little lap of the block. Aim for 15 minutes early, so then if there's traffic, if someone closes the tube line, you are there, fine.

Even if the interview's at 10 and you fly through the door at 10, like, yeah, you made it, but you'll also be constantly thinking, you'll be sweating, you'll be just like, your energy will be way off. Like, those 15 minutes are your prepare time

to be like, I'm ready to go in and smash this thing. If this is happening on Zoom, which it well might be, and not be an in-person thing, obviously it still be on time and clear your background. If you sit in front of a window, that does the job of, you know, a lighting ring, just sit right in front of a bright window. And also, if you have terrible Wi-Fi,

and you have a friend that has good Wi-Fi, see if you can go to someone else's house. I put your trousers on, even if it's just on Zoom, because you will. Even if it's just on Zoom, If it's in person, don't put your trousers on. I'd hire someone who showed up with no trousers. If it's on Zoom, put your trousers on.

Like, do the whole thing because even though you're like, I don't need to, it's only my top part. Be like, you do. And also you, I say from experience, I've had to reach up and close the window. I forgot what I was doing. Like, please put your trousers on. This is such a done one. But if it is an in-person interview, at the end,

I read this insane article about a man who runs a software company, probably in California, probably, you know, a tech startup who does something called the coffee cup test where his only test is that he gives people a coffee or a drink or a water or whatever and he at the end of the interview if they don't say can I put this back or where does this live or shall I wash up my coffee cup or whatever he doesn't hire them he sounds like an awful man to work for but take from that only to like be a good egg you know be someone who's like just it's just it's nice etiquette job interview or no to like if someone's giving you a coffee to be like where can you.

can I put this cup? You know, just like... Otherwise, they won't hire you. Or they won't hire you, you know. And also I once heard of a somebody running to a job interview who was late, who passed a lady on the stairs, who dropped all her papers, and didn't stop and help, just said, like, I'm sorry, I'm late. I'm like, ran over her.

And who was the interviewer? Oh, the woman with the papers. Noel Edmonds. No, it was the woman. It was the woman with the paper. Good joke, though. Thank you. I had a couple of questions, please.

When they say, do you have any questions for us? I had some good examples, which was, what would you say that the strengths and weaknesses of the department you're applying for are? How would you describe the company culture? What are the most important things you'd like to see the successful applicant accomplish in this position in, say, the first year, maybe? And also, what's the performance review process like? The one question I think you can't really ask is, like, well, I got a pay rise soon.

That makes it sound like you're just in it for the money. And even if you are, you've got to pretend that you're, you actually are in it for like the job and the culture of the company and working in numeric data. So with your data pad. With your data pad, you just love data pads and you understand what they are. Always the data pad. Oh, God.

And also it's the key thing about all of these job interviews is like, do you feel that this is the right company for you rather than, I hope they pick me? You know, if you just switch your mindset to being like, I, I'm going in here to check out if I like the people, if I like the lighting, if I like the vibes, if I like the work ethic, if this is right for me. I love that because the thought of me even doing that once throughout the 20s,

it was just like, whenever I was that job interview, I was absolutely desperate for them to hire me. I'd had no interest in what the company was like, at all. I was just like, believe I just need to pay my rent. No, I know, but imagine, but that desperation like smacks off you, you know, and everyone's like, this girl's crazy.

Smacks off me. And her shoes are too big and she's wearing someone else's dress. And like, she cray. Like, the more that you can just. And this is like also like a thing for, you know, going into auditions or like, or anything that you, of course you desperately, desperately want this job or whatever it is. But if you can just be like, is this the right thing for me. Just like switch that confidence around. And it will, it will come off you that people will be like, wow, she's very like self assured.

Like somebody is really, you know, as opposed to be like, hello, please, please, can I have the thing? And I was like, this energy is no, thank you. My final tip. Absolutely. Someone told me this, I think it's the funniest thing. On the same sort of line as, um, switch that perspective, I genuinely read a piece of advice. It was for auditions or any situation where you feel like you don't have the power

and you want to empower yourself. Yeah. It's the, it's the put a grape down your pants trick. What? Yeah. Which is that you put, the example is a grape down your pants so that you have something that the interview doesn't know about. And then you're sat the whole time,

quietly being like, yeah, but bitch, I got a grape down my pants. What do you mean? Your pants? Where? Well,

it could be a grape up your sleeve. It could be a grape in your hat. No, no, you can't put it in your bottom. It could be, it's just that that's the most normal, that's the most easy place

that the grape will stay still. It could be that you're wearing like a pair of really funny pants, uh, boxes. It could be that you've got like a silly sock on. Once I went to, once, so I read this and thought, I do, because I do understand that feeling of like,

oh, I feel like I need to have something that, like, is mine and that gives me a little bit of part. And it's like, he, he, he, just for me. So I just like, I was really scared about going to, it wasn't a job into it. It was an audition, but I put, and I didn't have a grapes. I put a raisin in my shoe. It didn't do anything, to be honest. But it was quite nice to be like, I've got a raisin in my shoe. I haven't done it since.

I can't believe people want you to put a grape up your bottom because, like, you can't put it down your pants, Because people would say, like, there's a grape. I can see a grape in your trousers. Also, it's squash when he sat down. You sit down and instead of being like, he-he, you'd be like, oh, my fucking God. It looks like I've shot myself. There's a squash grape leaking out of my pants. So what you've got to do is you've got it.

That's the least empowering this. I've made wine with my butthole. Okay, so you've got a raisin in your pocket. No, a raisin is nothing. A raisin is too small. shit. You feel like a shit, right. Okay. Put a grape in your hat. Put a grape up your... Put a grape in your hat. Okay. Put a... What could you... Down your bra? Like, where could you put something that is? Put a grape underneath your boob. Put a grape in your handbag or your backpack. Um, some...

You know what? It doesn't have to be a grape. What I think the best thing is to wear some really fun underwear that's just like not suitable for a job into meet. Do you know what I mean? So like, wear some... Where you novelty knickers? Oh my God. Right. I have been to a job interview in a full, oh God. This is a really repressed memory just surfaced up. I had been on a saucy day.

And I had gone to his house and I had not brought enough stuff to travel. I've just come in the gear. I had suspenders, stocking, lacy pants, a corset, the whole works under my clothes. and then I was late and lazy and I didn't go. I thought I was like, I'll go home obviously and then I'll get to the interview. I was like, fuck, I just got to go. So I went to the interview. I mean, you couldn't tell, truly.

I mean, I hoped to God you couldn't tell. But I did feel like, he-he-he-he-he-h. There we go. I was like, I've got suspenders on under here. I don't think I got the job, but I definitely felt good in it. Like I was like, wow, I feel. They must have been like,

This girl is crazy. No, I think you will have brought a very calm-scented energy. It's such a like, wow. You do, you have, it's so different to being like, oh my God, what do they think of me to be like, bitch, I got so you'll never guess what's going on under here. Wow, Steve. Exactly.

And also, you know, to round it off, if you don't get the job, it's not necessarily because you did a bad interview. There are a million reasons why someone doesn't get the job. Similarly, if you do walk out the interview and you go, oh, I did that wrong. For example, the placement of the grape was wrong and it leaked, or I babbled a bit or I stuttered, I was quite nervous. That's all fine.

This is all good stuff. If you don't get the job, then the next job interview, you now know what you have to work on and you just have to lean into it. So whatever you've done, you've prepared, you've done your first job interview. You've smashed it even if you haven't got the job. And I hope that helps, Danny. I hope you feel a little bit more confident going into the job interview. And for anyone else. This is not just for Danny.

It's for everyone. And anything that you need a bit of extra boost of confidence in, like, get though. Get your grape, get your grape in your hat. Get the grape in your hat. Or put a tiny hat underneath your bigger hat. Anything. Anything. Please do email us.

Any episodes suggestions that you would like for us to tackle? Nobody Panicpodcast at gmail.com. How could people find us on Twitter? Tessa. At Tessa Coates. And you, Steve. At Stevie M. The S is a 5. And also at Nobody Panic Pod.

That's actually the answer. I forgot. At Nobody Panic Pod. Sorry, I forgot in the room. Let me just send you a follow-up email to clarify. At Nobody Panic Pod. Yes. Smash those job interviews.

And we'll see you next week for more things that you can stop panicking about because it's absolutely fine. See you next week. Bye. See you next week, guys. Bye-bye.