Nobody Panic - How to Sort Your Life Out with Birthday Girls (Live at Cheerful Earful Festival)

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Tessa flies solo with 2/3 of the brilliant Birthday Girls, Beattie Edmondson and Rose Johnson! Tessa, unsupervised, forgets most of the things she’s supposed to do during a live episode and she and Rose give a good go at sorting Beattie’s life out. It’s a nice one. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Cheerful Earful Festival and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. it. Thank you so much. Okay, spoiler. Where's Stevie? Stevie is not very well today, so it's just me holding the ship on my own. Anybody who needs to leave now, after they've heard that news, I understand.

If Stevie is your favourite one and you think, fuck the other girl, she's, I don't care for it. So it's just me holding the ship on my own, and if you've come to a live show before or if you know the podcast, you will know it will be anecdotal based and will lack, structure, Okay, but it's not just me today. I am joined by, please, could you give the most enormous big balum welcome. I met to the two-thirds of the incredible birthday girls. Please welcome to stage. Rose Johnson and keep it going. Yes. Thank you so much for being here. You're doing such a great job. Thank you so much. This is friendship, just ladies in big smocks, just saying. And the other three of us. Yeah, when we were downstairs in the dressing room, who was it? Was it? There's another, there's another, there's another,

comedian who just looked to us and went, wow, those are some prints. So many prints. Yes, we will wear a print. We love a print. In lieu of a personality. You've got to bring a print. Thank you so much for being here.

Okay, today's episode is how to sort your life out with Stacey Solomon. Except Stacey Solomon is not here. Oh no. Yeah, I did just see a woman in the audience go, oh, but it's just us. Sorry.

How to sort your life out without Stacey Solomon. So I think I wouldn't be alone to say that Stacey Solomon's show or shows of that ilk or even a sort of like a changing room of the 90s or even Trinian Susanna or Gok or any of the guys. It was all like somebody coming into your life, ideally taking everything you own to a local village hall. Yes. Then telling you what you couldn't have and putting it back in your house.

And I crave that experience. It's my number one fantasy. It's basically someone coming and just burning all my belongings. Yeah. Just getting rid. Just getting rid. Just getting rid. Oh, come.

It's tough because you want Stacey to do it, you know? And also there's so many nooks and cranny. Like, there's just stuff everywhere. I just put bags of crap in corners and just forget about it. And then it just builds up. And then that's the crap corner. And then I get another new corner where I put all my crap. And then that's like the crap shelf.

And then I've just got like, just my whole. whole house is just crap. That's the most she said all day. So, um, those bags, I mean, you can call them whatever you wish, but their technical term is bags of doom. Oh, right. Yes. They are a bag that's just like, you're like, gun to my head.

What's in there? I don't know. And it's just in the corner of my house. And if anybody comes or I'm panicking or tiding, I just put it all in the bag. Yeah. And there's just more and more bags. And you bring out like another bag for life being like, what's in it? Do you know what I used to do when I used to have?

house parties, but I don't anymore because I have children. But I used to just put blankets over the corners. Yeah, yeah. And I had, you know, the chair in your room. I just put a blanket over it. And that's done. And done, clean. There was a period of about two years where Beatty would not let us even open the door

to her bedroom because it was that messy. Yeah. It was very much try and find some floor space to put your foot to crawl through. And I don't want to say that there was a smell. Oh, God. Gosh, that's a lot. I feel that washing system of clean and dirty hadn't been established properly.

Hadn't been established properly. And maybe there was some food plates in there. Yeah. I feel like the bed was not a clear area. It was not a clear area. No. Okay, I have some thoughts. I have some feelings.

I have some more thoughts again after the feelings. Okay, so these are, do you want to take a nice handful of these? You're going to read them all out. Have a little room in the box. So at the beginning of every episode we do, Me and Steve, we do our most adult things of the week, and I know some of you are new and have written them under duress.

This is exactly what I'm looking for. So neat as well, right at the top, I went to the tip. Yes. Yes, it's good stuff. Also, very, very on brand for sorting your life out. Yes. To the tip. Didn't say what they did there.

Had a little trip, you know, went to the tip. Did they get something out of it? Maybe. This person has really folded it. This person has my energy. It's like, I'm going to fold it nice. And tally Oh and it's really nice.

I asked my boyfriend to marry me. And he said no. No. He said yes. Oh yes. Also a yes woman proposing to a man. This one says, bought a chic and practical rain poncho

from decathlon for cycling in the rain. Oh, yes. Very nice. I've got two medical ones. here had my first smear test at 25. Yes, please. And then this one, I do have questions for vaccines in one day.

Okay, but I just say, is that person pregnant? Male voice in the reply. It's good start. You going abroad or, yeah? Going abroad, yeah. That would be the most common one, yeah. Go for it, yeah. This person, I actually went to my yoga class that I booked on class pass

and didn't get charged 12 pounds for non-attendance, which is a regular occurrence. Yes. That's incredible. That's incredible. Guess who else has class pass and gets charged on a regular basis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, honestly, my brain went, you've got class pass and you haven't cancelled it.

It's 69 pounds of mine. What? Yeah. You do get to pretend any class you like. Yeah, but I just tell you, this girl is heavy. money. I cannot afford it. She's had a fabletics

leggings subscriptions. She's been trying to get out for like five years. You're not in it still, I'm not in it still. Very tricky to one subscribe from the thing because, yeah, you sign up and then it automatically signs you on to a monthly

subscription. To leggings. You don't need it. To how many leggings do I need? So yeah, I had a lot of leggings by the end of it. And every time you rang up, we'd be like, you just need to ring up and cancel.

And I did. And she would ring up. And then we'd be like, did you ring up? And she was like, yeah, I've opt my subscription. I don't know how. Leggings. No, I'd ring up and cancel. And then I'd buy new leggings and reunite the subscription.

Hired a van and helped my friend move home. Oh, that is honestly the biggest. I think that is the kindest thing you can ever do to anyone. Help the move. Help the move. Also, when people ask you to help the move post like 20, I'm like, are you fucking joking? Pay some. one.

No. Sorry. Child to poo in the potty and didn't let him know it was disgusting. Really good. Yeah, very good. My, I've got a nice, two nice Christmas ones. One is I left a job that wasn't making me happy anymore. First day of my new job tomorrow.

Yes. And I'm a new uncle and I've started planning my niece's Christmas peasants already. That's a good one to win. Yeah, Mom. That's nice. Well done. Bring us out with a loving other. Yeah.

Back in, just to circle back to yesterday, I said to Rose, is there anything that we want to discuss particularly as a topic? Anything that you want to learn or that you've recently learned how to do? And then, and Rose, like, no, no, we're happy for anything. And then she's replied and said, oh, how about something like how to organise your life? Because we're pretty sure Beatty has undiagnosed ADHD. Right, yeah. And now listening to you talk, I'm like, yes. I don't think we need to go on the waiting list. That's a yes. And I, as someone who also has ADHD, have been like, yes, I, yes, a hundred percent. And I think that's probably what's happening here. And then I wrote, yes, in my writing back, and now we're talking. And then I've written actually here, and you just sat between us, horrified. Tell me it's not true. And then I said, and I've got a lot of thoughts. And then Rosebair, Rosebren, well, yeah, because you've got ADHD.

And save it for the pod, Rose. And also, I know you're horrified because and then I've made a reference to a thing I think of literally constantly and Rose has absolutely no memory of, which is that we did a gig together once. Oh, yeah. This is what you were trying to remember. And now I remember.

Do you remember actually? No. No. But it was like a deep COVID, so it's understood if you don't remember it. It was a weird gig and you were emceeing and I was wearing a very, a manic pair of dungarees

and had a real like sort of unhinged Mamma Mia energy and you were emce the second before I went on stage I like fumbled my phone which didn't have a case and it just hit the cement floor and shattered to smithereens

and then Rose like said beside me went did you not want to put that in a case what a cunt But I have no memory of this And I was like, I think the trauma of just witnessing that chaos It's just wiped from my mind. And then you went, and is it insured?

And I went, oh, no. You were so upset with me. Yeah, I've got no memory of where that was or when that was. I can imagine her being upset with you, though, because she gets very upset with me all the time about how my brain was. No. No.

Not upset. Just things that I tell that I've done, she gets very worried about it. Yeah, it's just stuff like when I told you about how I had, it was like, oh, the other day I had pissed off myself because I'd gone to Liddle, really boring, sorry. I went to Liddle and I drove my car there

and I parked and it was a Sunday and I went to pay for the car parks. You've got to pay. back at them. Anyway. So I went to pay and then I put in like the money for an hour and then it was like you have 13 hours and I was like what? But I didn't understand so I pressed it. Then I was like oh it's Sunday.

I've basically paid for tomorrow. It's so annoying. I was like fuck the sake I've just paid this money. And Beatty was like that happens to me all day long. This kind of thing is like my whole life of Biti said what happens is? It's when there's something that happens, I just say to myself, oh, perfect. Loved it? Perfect.

Perfect. Tell them how many prams you've lost in the last month. Prams? With baby in? Not with baby in, but yes, I've lost two full prams. That's stressful. Two full prams? Yes.

Okay, one, I couldn't get it down to get it into the boot. So I left it in a car park. I was like, we've got to go now, and I just left the pram. I was like, I'll come back for it. Went back for it, obviously, it's gone. And the second one. And actually, wasn't that pram already a replacement pram, your mother-in-law you'd bought. Yeah, had bought, because I'd lost.

She's lost another pram. No, I just, I know I just left the other pram at my parents' house. But anyway, the second pram I lost was when I bought, I was like, I'll get a nice one to replace the one that actually belongs to my mother-in-law. So basically I'd dropped my daughter at school and then gone home and then I was like, well, I've got to go pick her up. So I went to go pick her up with my other child who's in a pram. And I go to open the boot, put her in the pram, and there's no pram in there. And I'm like, well, where could that have gone? And I realized that when I was dropping my daughter off at school, I got my baby out of the house. I got my baby out of the

the pram, put it in the car, and then just drove off. When she says it, she means the baby. Not the pram. And so I drove, I'd driven off that morning and left the pram there on the street and only realized that when I got back to school. And so I was like, well, well, where is it? And all I saw was just a shoe, just one shoe on the floor. And that was the shoe that I'd been keeping in the basket.

Just one shoe. You're a shoe or? No, a baby shoe. Right. I was like, I know where the other one is. I'll leave that one and there. So I picked that up And just sort of carried my baby

And then put them both in the pram Put the shoe on the bonnet And then drove off and then realised The shoe was on the bonnet As I was driving I was like, oh There's a shoe Anyway, that's how I lost two prams

Is this resonating with you? Well this is so me and Viti aren't really allowed to hang out one on one No. And this is why. We, we, you can't really put two people whose minds are like, well, keep one shoe, obviously. I'm not a fucking idiot. What's in the basket, one shoe?

Put that on the roof. Get it in a minute. Where's the pram? You're like, what do you say when you do the parking? You say, oh right. Perfect. Perfect. Yeah.

Perfect. Go on. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. And mine is, yeah. Yeah. I would say eight to ten times a day.

Yeah. Of course that's, of course that's happened. So that's why you can't really be too unsupervised. The mad thing is, is, is Biti's husband is also basically that. Yeah, I should have married someone very organised, but I absolutely didn't. Didn't you go to the wrong airport on your honeymoon?

No, almost. We were on the train to Gatwick. With the tickets, then he's like, get off the train. Notting yourselves for like being early. We're like, wow, we're so organised and they've booked the tickets in advance. Doesn't he try? No, no.

Okay, here we go. We're going to sort you out. Okay. And I firmly believe, much like Stacey Solomon, we can get through it by the end of the episode. Oh, yeah. And we can make you a new person. Oh, my God. Yeah.

What would you say when you imagine the people coming in your fantasy to sort you out and burn your thing? Like, what is the main thing that you feel like they do in the fantasy? They just take everything out of my house. Yeah. And then just put two or three things back. in. What are the two or three things they put back in? Like my children.

And an oven. And that's it. And the oven? The oven. Put that back in. So they've cleaned. But they've cleaned the oven. And they've really scrubbed all the corners.

Okay. In the fantasy, did they take out all the white goods? Oh, yeah. So they're basically, what I imagine is that my house is like a hamster's cage. and what you're doing is removing the top of the house and just chucking out all the sore dust and then giving it a good anti-back and then putting the cage back on.

Like that's why I want my house to be something I can just tip out and then start again. You're literally moving into a new house. I know, but it's already dusty. Sorry, so this is about to happen in real life. So when do you move into the new house? Yeah, that's true. It is, yes, it is.

I'm moving into a new house, but I've been living at my parents' house for a year, I have boxes at their house I have boxes at my in-laws house I have boxes in storage Okay this is a lot I understand It's all and some of it Some of the boxes are split and there's stuff spilling out

I've been like accessing some of it Like a little horrid mouse Going through all my things and disorganising things Also when we were leaving our flat It was my husband's job to do the last bit of packing And it was frantic Oh I went round there Like the day before the moving van was coming

after they've been packing for a week. And I was like, it's the same. Yeah. It's the same. All of the stuff is still here. There's like five racks of washing drying. Yeah, yeah. There's, Sam's like holding a fork being like,

wow, where should I put this in a box? I can't stress you enough how much I didn't think about it before we moved. Like, I was like, well, And then the day before, we'll pack everything up. Whole house. Your whole house. Yeah. And your two children?

Yeah. The day before. Yeah, I was like, day before, we'll do the packing. I mean, now I know it's insane. But... Yeah, that is things. Sometimes you have to go through the experience to be like, oh, that was a mistake. Yeah.

Okay. I think maybe I'm stupid. No. No. No. Okay. So the number one thing, the thing that has been most helpful to me, having this ADHD diagnosis is being like, because the book about ADHD, ADHD,

is literally called, you're not a lazy, crazy, stupid girl. Oh, wow, that's me. I'm the lazy, crazy stupid girl. I haven't read it. But I have looked at the title. So I think the thing that has been so most helpful

is being like, your brain just works in a slightly different way to other people. And that doesn't make you better or worse or broken or stupid. It's just like, this is the things I have. I've got like no object permanence. So if it's not,

I can't see it. that's gone. When I pack the things away in the box, I'm like, don't know what's in there, don't know where anything is, if I can't, until I open my wardrobe, I'm like, who's clothes it is? I can't remember it.

And then just, and understand that, like, your brain makes dopamine in a different way. So, like, these are the things that are nice, and these are the things that don't feel nice. And you live in a very present way, and so it's not until the day that you need to leave, that you're like, well, I should pack. You just don't want to do that.

I'll do that now. So, like, you think about time in a different way. And so just like understanding like this is the brain you've got. There's no point like uphill fighting yourself and be like, why can't I do it? Why can't I be better? Why can't I be more like rows of like why didn't I do everything in advance? Like why? It's like because that's who you are and that's who you always be and that's the brain that you got in the lucky dip.

And you have a bunch of other things that you got out of the genetic. So there's no cure for it then. It's not that there's no cure. It's just there's no cure. There's no cure. All there is is a series of things that you're like, these are the way that I have to do. this is how I have to do things. And there's no point at being like,

one day I'll be better. And it's like, well, it's never going to happen. And there's something quite freeing about being like, okay, this is it. And it's like, so this is what we have to do to get through the day. Right. It's call Rose and ask her what she would do. Yeah, it's cool Rose.

And be like, what should we do now? And that's a lot of pressure on Rose. Tell me what to do. In terms of stuff, instead of the stuff problem, I am similar in the idea of sorting out my stuff, I find very overwhelming. Yes. But that's because my parents, big hoarders, big hoarders.

Basically, so last year I get a message from my dad saying, are you going to Brighton any time soon? I was like, no, not going to Brighton any time soon. Dad live in London. He was like, ah, I've just bought a guitar on eBay that I need picking up. I was like, I'm not fucking going to Brighton to speak up the guitar for you. So then he speaks to the guy he's bought the guitar from, and he's coming into Central London, which is where my brother lives.

So I text my brother saying, you pick up this guitar for dad, and Marcus went, no, I did that two weeks ago. It was another guitar. And my dad, and in both of the messages, have been said, don't tell your mom. So we're basically, like, complicit in my dad's web of guitar lies. Their house is full of guitars secreted away in cupboards under beds.

And my dad's like, I'm going to, I'm going to, listen, I'm going to refurb them. I'm going to sell them. He's not selling any of them. Oh gosh, he's got a problem as well. Yeah, so he's a bit of... So their house is crammed full of stuff. So I feel like I was never taught how to sort, to organise systems, put them in place.

And you were raised with an energy of, I'll refurb that and sell it. And once you've got that in your cornerstone, you're fucked. So exactly, I am fucked because I am pregnant. There's a baby that's going to arrive. And thank you. It wasn't hard. But our spare room needs to be a baby room,

but the spare room is full of all of my crap from literally when I was a child. And so, like, it's so overwhelming. I totally understand that feeling of, like, ha! So our friend Lizzie, who lives upstairs from us, she's like Stacey Solomon. She comes down on Sunday mornings and helps me go through it all,

and it's exactly that. She'll be like, do you need this small pot of beads and sequins When was the last time you used that? And I was like, when I was eight, but the thing is, I'm about to have a child, so they're going to be eight at some point. So then they might need them. And Lizzie's like, I think, can we let that go? And I'm like, I can use it, no.

They were, I got absolutely rinsed by her and my husband because there was just so many scraps of crepe paper that I just had in bags. and boxes and Lizzie, at one point just sat down and went, how about we go through and you pick your very favorite as crape paper, and then we let the rest go. And at that point, I was like, I think it's all got to go. What were the crepe paper for for you for wrapping presents by the... Okay. Because, again, yes, present wrapping, but also card making,

because I would say about once every five years, years. God, it's tough. I will make a birthday card for someone. And so I'm like, so I need this crafting stuff. It's like, for me, the problem is if I think I can use it or if I think it's wasteful to like throw it away, I can't do it. Because my parents, again, thrifty. They're saving like two grains of rights, putting in a Tupperware in the fridge. Like, I can't. It's all mashed into the same thing, which is thrifting. I might be able to use that. I might be able to sell it. oh, there's 12 pounds of good copper in that washing machine on the side of the motorway. Like, we can strip that for parts.

Being like, no, we can't. Like, we have so much stuff in my house that my family bought on the side of the motorway. Like, that's not a good place to be buying your things. And it's this constant energy of like, and it's a good spirit. It's like, let's repair, let's save, let's do that in the future. But it's bad for your space. It's bad. This sense of like, but one day,

your future proofing is preventing your presence. Yes. But now I'm kind of, it's really therapeutic and now she is basically like if something has been in a bag or in a box shoved away for more than a year. It's like unless that's your birth certificate, get rid. You don't need it. She's really good. She's really good. But the thing about it is it's what you need and there's literally no point attempting this on your own. You have to have a supervisor. Dan and I, we started doing it.

Not enough. Not enough with your partner. No, but within 45 seconds, we weren't speaking to each other. A partner saying, what do you want to do with this? You're like, I know what all makes in a fucking space if you fucking leave. Mustn't be a partner. Mustn't be a sibling. Mustn't be anybody who has any sort of like anything that will get to you, like the character of you as a person.

It has to be, it has to be a friend who's like either some, ideally somebody who has the same problem. Because you can have that problem and look at on. somebody else's crape paper. My own crepe paper, exquisite, treasures must never be touched. Your crate paper disgusting. I'm like, bin it, burn it, get it out. You know, so you can

have the problem yourself and like, I would love, I would happily come to you and do it and with you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then cut to us, just like wearing all your clothes. They're like, what are we doing today? You've got to have, you've got to be supervised.

You can have crepe paper. You have all the crepe paper in the world, but it has to go in a special designated little box, ideally clear plastic, so you can see through it, and then it's just crepe paper. Yeah. And then when you find the crepe paper,

if you put it in your box, and you're like, there is a lot of crepe paper in here in retrospect. Like, so it has to be, like, that you have, every single thing in your home has to have a place and has to be like, this is where the crate paper goes. And it can be, I want to make cards in the future.

I want to do jewelry with my child, who might be eight in eight years. But it has to be a, box marked jewellery and bead making as opposed to like arts and crafts like that's too overwhelming

because that's just a chaos area and what happens if another you know batch of crate paper comes in then in it goes well if you've if it's already thought no then it's then it's going okay the space we've designated

of this is becoming overwhelmed now we have to now we have to take some out it will be easier to look upon your crate paper clear plastic tray yeah when it's heaving and you're trying to add more in and be like huh that that does feel too much.

But when you just see one lovely piece and you're like, exquisite, and then you just put it like in a drawer with your pants or something. And then you're like, because then you're like, I've only got one lovely piece. And I think you have a really good opportunity in moving into this new house because you have a blank canvas. And I would say, do not bring all the boxes in at once. Bring them in box by box.

Yes. Go through, open the box. box, what's in here? Moths. Moths. Moths. She's got moths. You've got moths.

You've got moths. Yeah, so many moths. There's a box of our clothes in my parents' basement that my mum's like, I think there's some moths coming out there. And I went down and opened it and I was just like, pf, moths everywhere. And then what's your special catchphrase you say when things are like? Perfect.

Perfect. Perfect. A thousand moths. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yay. I would love person. if we could do some of the boxes before we, and we're all invested now, we could do some of the boxes before we got them into the house.

Okay, yes. Because my panic is, we do like a bit of the box, you're like, oh my God, this is going so well. Then it's like, ding-dong, oh fuck, I forgot. Stephen, he's here now. And then you're like, ah, this box, blanket over it, under the stairs. And that's never touched for six months. Right, yeah, true. So, like, if we can do it before we get in the house.

My mum keeps trying to encourage me to go down there. But again, forget her because your life's like, fuck you. So, but if you can in your own time, bring in your, your, You're Stacey Solomon, whoever they are, and go down and look at one box, and just be like, today, for one hour, we just do moth box. Just moth box.

And if along the way you keep being like, huh, every single box has got a single MacBook charger in it. Oh, my God, yeah. And then you're like, how can I have so many? And it's like, I guess every time I go out, I forgot it and I went to the apple store and bought another one. And then I just put them in the drawer with my pants. And then it's like, okay, now I make one box,

called MacBook Chargers. And you maybe let some of the MacBook Chargers go. Maybe, maybe. But that's no pressure just yet. When you see them all together, you're... But what if I kept one in each bag in case... No, no, no.

Okay, no, no. So just to say, what's your thought? See your thought through to completion there. My thought was, put one in every single bag I own, and then I'll never not have one. But it has to just be like, I'm leaving today. What do I need? Here's my list for today.

I get my thing. be like, oh, okay. Yeah, questions. Here's my thing about lists. Yep. I forget to make them. So it's like, make a list of all the things to remember. I've forgotten to make the list.

And then it's like, I've got to leave the house. You know? Before every holiday, I'm like, oh, I wish I'd made a list. Packing my bag. Forgetting everything, leaving the house. Then this is what you need to do. Make a master list on your computer. Oh, just one that I can go to all the time.

Yes. And you add to that. You can delete from that. Okay. All right. Oh, yeah, that's quite good. And it stays there and it's permanent. It's on your phone and you're checking like, okay, what do I need? But also, again, like, lists are not for everyone.

So when people start screaming at you, like, just make a list. And you're like, if that freaks you out, you're like, why aren't I a good girl who can do lists? Like, that's totally okay. And so if every bag a MacBook charger is the way forward, then, or maybe on the MacBook, we could write a sticker and it could say... Govig the charger. What?

Yeah. I thought you were going to have to say something else. Like, I love... Hello. or something like, hello. No, no, if the sticker said, where's the charger, you know? Yeah. Or don't forget the charger or something.

Yeah, really good. Yeah, that could be something. That is good. I do do that, actually. If I have to get up really early and I've packed my bags, not to brag. But there'll be something, EG. I've made this, again, really rubbing it in. I've made myself a packed lunch for the next day.

Fucking hell. Can I just take it? But downstairs, Rose ate a pizza out of a Tupperware, and Beatty went, What the fuck is that? It's when you eat a piece of pizza out of Tupperware? What's right? Their producer very kindly and very astutely said, I think Beatty that's coming from a place of jealousy.

My chips are a list. So I've made my lunches in the fridge and I need to remember to take it out of the fridge to put it in my bag, post-it notes for your friend. I'll write lunch. and I'll stick it like on the bathroom mirror somewhere you cannot miss it. Posting note on the mirror. Yeah, for a thing that is like it's not a full list

but it's like I need to remember this one thing. And for me there's already so many barriers to that because it's like where are the postet notes? Where are the pens? Yeah. Where are the pens? For me and I know it's because it's a bit of a, okay so I get an etcher sketch.

What are you going to do with the etcher sketch? Have you got a whiteboard? Oh, whiteboard, yeah. It's an efficient thing I've worked and think of writing a message. Holy, that's a sketch. Do you feel with the children? Do you feel like you're getting them like through the day where they're supposed to be remembering?

Oh, yeah, no, the thing is, all my power at the minute is going towards getting them to where they need to be. So that's the thing. I do believe for another person you are able to do it. It's for yourself that's the issue. Yeah. I found my own. You say that.

Didn't you take your daughter to school a day early? Yes. On Sunday. No, no. Just the day before it actually started, I took her to school. I think everyone's done that. And the teacher was like, what are you doing here? Yeah.

It was an insert day. Anyway. Yeah, that's hard. That's hard. Yeah. So much to remember. Yeah, okay. I do believe it is on the other people.

Sometimes I attempt to like put the bag, like, something by the door. visual, like physically there and then I'll be like, what's that then? And then I'll have to be like, oh, thank you for the support. They'll be like, oh, I'm either taking this physical bag or if I say you need to post something, I just put it by the door to be like on the middle of the floor. Yeah.

To be like, because I did have a, one of the suggestions was like, you need a box by the door of all your things. That was a box by the door filled with things. None of them ever left the fucking house because they were in the box. And it was like, put the important stuff in the box. One of the things was a parking ticket that I needed. That is literally like a metaphorical box

where you're like, and that's done, that's there. That's not. Put it in the box and it's done. It has to be like in the middle of the floor. So you like, there's no way you could leave the house without doing it. I've done that before. Looks insane, but it's...

Yeah, well, that's the thing. So a big part of this is like, it looks insane. You have to build a life that is basically like being like a primary school. Like it has to be like clear plastic boxes. Everything is labelled. Like you look like a child. And you're like, you're so cross with yourself because you're like, how is this what I have to do?

Placing the letter by the door. being like, what's that? But you're just like, it's not stupid and it doesn't seem insane. It's just like, this is what I have to do every day. Or it can feel insane, but you're like, yeah, but guess what? I remember to post it. Like, guess what? I paid the parking ticket.

You know, it's like, this is how life has to be. The day I discovered that I made the transition from like antique apothecary drawers. Where honestly, I was like, what's in the drawers? Don't know. The day I transitioned to clear plastic, which I was like, how vulgar. Why would I have clear plastic? Now I'm like, oh, I can see all the things. I know where I'm supposed to be.

I know all the stuff. And that was a huge big mental jump. Yeah. And then just stopping, any self beating up that's like, I should be better than this. Like, you're not. This is what you're at. Yeah.

And I was going to suggest labels as well. Labels. But do you remember when you were struggling with something and I was like, oh, you could label things. Already got a label printer. Yeah. She was like, you think I haven't got a label maker. I've got two.

I've got two. Got two label makers. Yeah. It's so cruel because. Because you have all these dreams about who you are and what you'll be. And you're like, labels. Then I'll get it together. That will fix everything.

That will fix everything. And I think the moment you can transition to be like, there is no fix. There is no fix. There is no cure. There is no mainframe. There is no app. There is no Alexa. Well, that felt very dystopian as I was naming all those things.

But once you get over that, like, there isn't anything. It's like, it's only what I can currently do with myself right now. Right. Then you're like, okay. Okay. And you just take away that dream of like one day Stacy's not coming. She's not coming. Yeah.

Sorry, I've made it so dark. Be your beat for me, Rose. Yay! Yay! Yeah, it's, is that, like, it really, genuinely did help me to let go of the fantasy. Yeah.

And also, I think that that fantasy is very unrealistic, is like, it's like, that's unrealistic for most people, I would say. Stacey's on a different plane, okay? She's clipping crisps up in her cupboard. Oh, yeah. It's about, yeah, just being like,

there will be some chaos, but how can I find a few little workarounds to just mean that my day-to-day life isn't like hellishly stressful? You can't live like Marie Kondo, you can't do it. Also, I read an interview with her who said, yeah, I've had a kid now and all that stuff, a load of shit, can't do it. My house is a tip. Yeah, yeah, right? That's what living is. That's what life is. And also when Stacey comes and fixes you, she brings an entire channel for film crew and like all professionals and people. Yeah. You get to sort through all your embarrassing things. Yeah, right? There's a whole team of people. So of course you can't do it on your own.

Yeah. And when people say bullshit stuff like famously Molly May from, you know, we all know who Molly May is. Don't pretend. We don't stalk her and Bambi the baby. Reliously. She said if on her podcast we have the same 24 hours as a day as Beyonce and then everyone like really gave her shit. And then she was like, went on the podcast to defend herself and was like, but that is how time works. we do all have the same 10 times in the day and she really couldn't get her head around

that people were like, right, but you and Beyonce have like nannies and housekeepers and chefs and stylists and makeup people and your whole day is catered for so the hours that you've got for yourself to make your creative project whatever you're doing like every other aspect of your life is cared for

and it's like that dream isn't coming for us unless we get really rich. Yeah. Yeah. So please subscribe to the picture on. Because some of us really need the help. I feel like I've made it into a very dark space to end. So do we have a positive place?

I'm never going to change. That wasn't it? There can be changed. Just like don't just let go of the fantasy that she's coming because she ain't coming up. You can do it. And also it doesn't, at the end of the day, like, yeah, you lost two prams, but you're still fantastic.

You know? You're such a nice gal. And everybody loves you. And the things when you're like, oh, I wish I could do this. It's like, sure, but there are so many other things in your life that people are like, oh, I wish I could do, you know, X, Y and Z. I can't think of anything right now, sure. No. Well, I wish that instead of getting stressed out about fucking paying 70p unnecessarily to Croydon Council car park,

I could have just gone, oh, perfect. It ruined my weekend. Awful way to be. Yeah, so that's, yeah. That's terrible. Yeah, I'm the dickhead. Yeah. And that's the message of the show.

No, that's thing, it's like different strokes, different posts. Like, everybody's different. Everyone's doing their own thing. You can't be jealous of how other people's brain's brain. Yeah. Everyone's got their own brain. Everyone's just doing their very best with it. And just get someone else to sort your house out.

Yeah. Just throw money at the situation. Just get someone else in. Yeah, let's get millionaires. And then I think that'll fix it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorted. Done it. Done it. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. And does anyone want any crate paper?

Yes, please. We should all, when we do these things, we should all bring our treasures. Yeah, it's just... It's just... Really demeaning. Really demeaning. To be fair, my mum still has our teeth.

Is that weird? Yeah, baby teeth. My mum sent me mine in the post with no warning. Whoa. Bought teeth! Bad! Bad! How does she have so many? No, small.

It was in Kling film. Why did she think you want them? I don't know. She'd seen some, I don't know. She'd seen something on Facebook. Someone had made a sculpture out of them. I don't know. No warning.

Bag of teeth. No warning. A little pouch of teeth. See, and this is the thing. Everyone's just climbing uphill because their parents are all insane. Yeah. And they raised us.

So we're just trying our best. Exactly. You know, you've got a bag of teeth in the poster. Yeah. And you're just trying to get through the day. It's got live your life. Everyone's got their, everyone's got their teeth. I think that's fine.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, this has been an absolute delight. You've been so, so nice.

This has been so, so lovely. These guys have an incredible podcast, if you don't know it, called Birthday Girls House Party. There's an extra one. Can you imagine adding a third into this? Amazing. And it's wonderful.

You can get it everywhere. Can you? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, sure. It's everywhere. I mean, not like W.HMI.

Every podcast. Yeah. W.H. Can't get it on like porn hub or something. I don't know. Yeah, but maybe that's where we get the money, you know? Maybe, maybe, not adverse to it. Desperate for a chef.

We'd do anything at this point for a chef. We've got absolutely nothing to promote. This is our last live show of the year, so thank you so much. Steve's here. And imagine if she'd been here, but silent the whole time for the audio listeners. Wow, not contributing, I guess.

Well, we've had a lovely day. and it's been nice to hang out with you. Thank you all so much for coming. Have an amazing rest of the day. Thanks so much. Goodbye.