Nobody Panic - How to Stop Being Intimidated by People

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

If you're scared of your boss, someone else's boss, that cool girl in your friendship group, that cool girl at the bus stop, the bus driver, the bus, Stevie and Tessa are here to tell you DO NOT WORRY. This episode has loads of tips and tricks to help you feel more in control and less intimidated by literally everyone you come into contact with. Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. it. Nobody Panic. It's a podcast where we, Stevie and Tessa, like to learn how to do things. Hey, Tessa, how are you doing? Hey, Stevie, let me tell you, I'm hot. I'm absolutely hot. We are recording this. Who's to say when you're

listening? But it is in the heat wave. Who's to say what temperature you are? But we are hot. Yes, it's like two melted candles doing a podcast. I have cracked out my... Tits. No, my tits are out. They're actually put away. They are very much so. Would you concur? But I am wearing a linen smock that is a complete triangular trapeze. In the summer I just like to crack out my sort of armish wear,

a woman of the fields, massive pockets to put all my foraged garlic bulbs in or whatever I'm doing out. My bushels of wheat. A completely shapeless linen smocks is very much my jam. And it's their time. I love that so much. I was wearing a vest and then I got upset

at the amount of booze. that was out so I went and got changed into a t-shirt that's bad isn't it just live your life well do you feel happy in your t-shirt yeah and it's not bad yeah there's a lot to unpack isn't there just being a vest stevie be in a vest see be a vest live your vest life have have your bod out I just felt that was very good thank you thank you sorry I'm so sorry for not acknowledging that it's too hot I'm too hot to acknowledge great gags also to be clear we mean sexy I'm not look today's episode is about How to not be intimidated by people. We got an email from...

Maybe let's keep it anonymous in case it's a workplace situation. Yes, that's a good point. There is an actual name at the end of it. It's a hello actual name. But the email reads, thus, hi, Tessa and Stevie. Hello. Thanks for doing such a great podcast. A listener every week.

Thank you for listening. Thank you. Something I'd really love to do a podcast episode on is how to stop feeling intimidated by people. It's an issue I've had for a long time, particularly when speaking to someone of a high authority. I guess like the king. I feel like it's something which everyone experiences and deals with differently,

but I'd love to hear your advice and tips on how to manage the feeling of intimidation. Thanks very much. The name I won't say. So, yeah, this is a really good one. We haven't done something like this before. And when I read about it, you immediately go like, oh, high authority, the police, the king. But then also, you can be intimidated by just sort of casual people in your friendship circle as well. And I feel like often in friendship groups

There will be somebody Everyone's like When someone makes a joke That's who they look at Because they're like if they laugh We've gotten The alpha The alpha

And often that's very clear in like Male friendship groups Or it's talked about more But it happens in female friendship groups Or mixed friendship groups It's a really good one And I was thinking to myself Like I don't know

How often I am intimidated by people Because you do think How often do I meet the police You know Or someone that you're like Oh hello And I was like, what am I talking about? I'm intimidated every day.

I saw some teenagers by the river. Terrified. I am absolutely terrified by groups of schoolchildren. School children. Yeah, terrified. The thought of a cool gang of lads in the park. They're kicking a ball. The ball comes to you.

No. I'd eat the ball. I pick the ball up and I run. I have to kick the ball back now in front of all these lads. Even though they don't give a shit. And they just say like, thank you. And then like, take their ball up. The worst case is you like kick it into a tree and they go, wait. And then you just go, oh, ha ha, and then you move on with your day. And then you move on with your day, but you don't move on with your day. You dwell on that interaction for the next 10 to 12 years every day. And also I think a nice thing to think is you've probably been in a big group where you're the intimidating party. Maybe. Maybe. Never. I've never been in a big group. I don't think I have been either. I always, I always socialised solo. I'm always so worried that someone's going to shout something at me. And I won't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I don't.

say to the extent where I was going for, I was on a, like, look, it was a year ago and I went for a run, a single run. And there was a group of young lads. And one of them said nice shorts, and I told him to fuck off. Because I was so ready for them to say something horrible. Yeah. And I ran so quickly, I could be like, oh, sorry, I thought I was ready to it. And I couldn't speak. So I just was like, imagine that as an interaction. You're just like, nice shorts, fuck off. Oh, well, that's not very, what? I felt so bad. Yeah. We get to our adult things in a second and we'll plunge into this properly. We are very much

already touching on the topic that if you're intimidated by somebody, it's very much about what you're bringing to the table. I have come to the conclusion and I don't care if this is true or not, it makes me feel happy that if you see a group of like young, like young, Gen Z or the one before, babies. And they're all looking cool in their clothes that we used to wear when we were at school. So I can't wear it because it's the Y2K fashionist come back around

and it's upsetting to me. I believe that if you're over 30, you are fully invisible to those people. Oh, 100%. They just see he was like, oh, you're just like a adult person. You might as well be like somebody's mum. You're just like... Yes, yeah. You're an absolute grey blur.

Here I am talking about those teenagers on a podcast at length and those kids, if I'd been like killed and they had to, a police had to come right and be like, did you see this woman? They'd be like, no. No, I remember those is like missed. Yeah, they're like, we have her on CCTV literally walking past you and looking at you, going quite slowly and then like running past in case you said something mean about her out there.

And they're like, I didn't see her. You know, like, I didn't see it. And so like, that's the thing. It is, as with so many things, intimidation is 1,000% in your own head. Yeah, unless, of course, there's someone, there's the very odd moment where someone literally does try intimidate you. And you'll know when that's happening because it feels so strange. You're like, oh my God, I'm being pushed around. Yeah.

And then you sort of lose your mind. So I suppose we'll, like, deal with the, you're bringing it to the table, and then we'll deal with the table who's come over to you and is telling you to do something you don't we do? Yeah. Before we do, though, let's discuss our adult things. What is the most adult thing you've done this week, Tessa, to make us all feel good about ourselves?

Mine is that in heatwave preparation, my legs are out and I intend them to be out for the duration of the summer. And not only that, I have, rather than hoping and praying and preemptive, that these sort of alabaster bottom of the Mariana trench, white, white legs will just tan themselves with a few minutes in the sun. I've just got out ahead of the situation and Sally Hansen the shit out of them. Sally Hansen, for everybody listening, is a sort of spray, fake tan. What are you laughing at?

It's one of, now, please do tweet us if I'm wrong in this. It's one of the more sort of interest, like, oh, you've gone for Sally Hansen. Like, there's a lot of good sort of tanning products. I only know Sally Hansen. And Sam hasn't feels like it's like foundation for your legs. But I love that. It doesn't rub it off on everything. I love it.

It doesn't rub it off, but I just like that it's like, listen. Okay. Once at university, I went as the artist formerly known as Jordan. Oh yeah. Went to Katie Price to a fancy dress party. And I tended to do fake tan. And I've got one of those accumulator tans. And I absolutely covered myself in the stuff.

And I was like, this has done nothing. And over the course of the party, I just became darker. Darker. I had to leave the party. Until I was like, this is a racial issue, and I need to leave the party. I need to leave the party.

Therefore, I only work with what I can see is what it is. You know? I understand that. I've done it. It's there. Famously, when I was very unemployed and living at home, my mother once said to me, if you never find a job,

you could always be an extra on CSI, as a body double for those bodies in the morgue. Thank you, Mother. Thank you. What's your adult thing, Stevie? I nearly got scammed but pulled back at the last minute. Oh, yes. Tell us about it. A while back I got scammed out of 60 quid air pods on Deepop because someone was literally like,

I'm a criminal and I would like you to remove all by a protection and I needed the money immediately and I said yes, and then they disappeared. Anyway, so I got a text from, just a mobile number. Brilliant. Already, when I recount it, what was I doing? A text from just a mobile number, it literally says post office, colon, hi there, we tried to live in your parcel but was unsuccessful.

Please visit post office dash parcelhelp.com for more information. So this is this morning, and I've got a present of my dad's 60th that is happening in like a couple of days. That's what they rely on. The assumption that I also have received the post. office one and I replied nice try you, Bellens. Oh see I gave them all my details. I'm not joking.

I'm not joking. Yeah so what happened was, yeah no. So now I'm looking at it if it's just an 07 number and it says post office at the start they've typed the word post office. I don't think it's the post office but I was like

oh it's the post office. So I there was a problem with a parcel that was that raw mail were delivering and I was trying to get hold of somebody and they were like, you've got to contact the sender and they were like, got to contact the raw mail. Then I got this text and I was like, oh, it's that! So then I went on to the link, thankfully,

I only typed in, I mean, I went through three different screens. I typed in my name, my birth date. Then I went to up in my mobile number and it said like, please provide a valid phone number. And I was like, that literally is my phone number. And then suddenly I was like, hang on, let me just, oh, it says postage. office, oh it's no seven number. I was like, ah! And also, in a way, I was intimidated by their

authority. Oh, wow, wow. Yes, exactly. You were intimidated and you assumed that you didn't know what you were doing and therefore a figure of authority was like, okay, like, I mean, it's literally, I mean, I'm sorry, I know you want to go the other way around on this, but I was just thinking there's literally so many, like the Stanford Prison Experiment, like all these... The Milgram experiment. All of these things. The Milgram experiment is like a man in in a white coat asks you to electrocute a stranger. And so many people did it. And people did it because the man in the white coat when they said,

but that person, you couldn't see the person and they were screaming on the other side of the wall and then the screaming stopped. And so you had nothing to assume but that they were literally dead. And people continue to electrocute them because the man with the white coat said, please carry on. Your brain would just be on absolute blind following because that's exactly how we're programmed. We follow the leader, you know?

someone looks like they've got a plan, let's fucking go. I find that the stories about police brutality and abuse of power in government, things like that, they kind of make you feel very destabilized because you're like, but they're the people that are supposed to be looking after us. So if you feel like that one way, then the other way, that shows just how much you do, even though you know all these stories and you know that people are people, and you know that the systems aren't perfect, you do just look to a person, anyone in uniform, an environmental, like, I don't know, like, I don't know, literally anybody.

I'd be like, please, can you help, like at all? My mum once got from herself from a car boots and a massive waterproof coat, a big men's waterproof coat. Very good quality, she kept saying. Yes. It was also completely high viz. It was a full high viz, massive coat with her hood. And she wore it like one winter to, I don't know, a festival or something wherever. And like, people just kept ushering her places, asking her questions, asking when things were.

She was just like telling people. And then afterwards, she was like, oh my God, it's the coat. People just assume, like, people are like, oh, there's a coat, that person will know what to do. That also works the other way around. So whenever I see a policeman, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. And all the fact that I've never had drugs on me in my life. I'm like, what if there's drugs at my ass? What if there's drugs in my assholes?

It's always like, it's all my asshole as well. Like, what if, why is that the thing? I remember we went to a festival and my friend did have drugs and that was his prerogative. and he saw a, he was like, the sniff of dogs. And then he shoved the drugs in a bag up his butthole. And then he saw the dog and it was literally like a Jack Russell. It was just someone's dog. And now he'd put everyone's drugs for the festival up his bum hole.

So that's a really good example of being intimidated by authority. If that, and he wasn't also very clear, we just arrived, he was not on drugs or drunk. Okay, if I may, to summarize this podcast in a nutshell, It is, if you allow other people to intimidate you with no good reason, you are a man with everyone's drugs up your asshole. That is literally it. In any situation, if you extrapolate the thing too far and you think, oh, everyone's better than me or those are the police or that's the sniffer dog or I'm a little shit

and everyone else is better than me in this board meeting, you are just shoving life's drugs up your asshole. Yes. And there is no reason to do. do it. So I was really, really thinking about this about me that I was thinking, I don't actually, in my professional working life, feel that intimidated that often. And then I was thinking, that's not me being good about it. That's actually because I don't know who anyone is. And I was thinking there have been so many times where we're not endlessly, but we have both

met very interesting, famous, powerful people, like producers or what have you. And some people will come up and say hi or be chatting whatever and then they'll leave the group and i'll think was a nice man and everyone be like that was richard curtis yeah famously it was once richard curtis and i was just like what nice man so often will meet him and i just don't know who anybody is and therefore i'm not intimidated by them because to me they're just people and that is a surreal catch-train too it's not a helpful peter advice for me to be like if you could have some face blindness that will really do it for you i think it does help because i think one of the problems of feeling intimidating edited by people is that we tend to

put and fill in the gaps on other people before they've even done anything or said anything. So if somebody, for example, my friend recently went into a read-through with like Idris Elbert and didn't expect him to be there and was obviously just losing her mind and was fascinated by the fact that whatever room he walks into, every single person is like

that's Idris Elbert. Like you can't just casually sit down anywhere in any situation. If he could hear and everyone's in a monologue, if ever... That's Adreselba. That's Adder Salba. It's so strange.

And none of these people know him. Like, you end up being like, okay, so you kind of fill in gaps of he's powerful. I wouldn't know what to say to him. He's a famous person. He probably knows loads of famous people. I'm a little fleeing in comparison. What was supposed to say to Israelba? Oh, hey, loved you in Luther.

Everyone says that. Rubbish. Like, hey, hated you in Luther. Curveball. Yes, exactly. Will he like that? No. So I think you bring a lot to it.

And you fill in the gap. put a lot on other people and then you allow them to intimidate you when they've actually often not done something. Crucially, not done anything. If you're thinking, if there's someone you have in mind and you're like, oh, at work, my boss or my line manager, or just like another colleague or a friend in a group that you just feel intimidated by, the first thing is to think, what have they actually specifically done to intimidate you? If it is behavioral to you and they've actually fully like alpha intimidated you, that's one thing. But if they're just like, you perceive them be more intelligent, say, or you perceive them to be richer, or you perceive them to be beautiful,

because we are intimidated by people who are attractive as well, that's something. Then, you know, like, oh, like, I remember there was this girl who I worked with who I just like didn't speak to two to three just because she looked like a model. And I was like, I'm just, I can't. Like, she's just, I can't. Like, she's just lovely girl. But she was just like, she just looked so beautiful. I was like, I can't possibly talk to her because what will I say? What will she be interested in me? A peasant. A peasant. A peasant rat. She'll just vomit when I speak to her. And also as well, like, when I actually asked myself, like, why? Because I think someone else was like, oh my God, I'll insert name. She's so cool. And she did this thing. They were

out drinking and she'd done this, like, funny thing. Or she's like, fullness. She did something fun. And I was like, that sounds fun. And I was like, why did I think she wasn't fun? And then I couldn't answer that. I literally could answer other than she's fit. That's all I could think of. And there was nothing more than that. And that's just our brains being like that your brain's just behaving. then, isn't it? It's just behaving and you're like following being like, uh, why? Why have you done that? Things are more nuanced than that, bray. Yeah, but they, I suppose they just ain't more nuanced. We're all just like, you're the alpha, I'm the beta. The beta needs nothing from me. Also, the thing is irrelevant. Not to be like the beta can't bring anything, but like you don't

have to decide who's the alpha and who's the beta. You can both be. Everyone can be the alpha. And also, everyone does bring something. That's the thing. Yeah. That's the other thing is often if you find yourself often intimidated by lots of people all the time. It's very like we say, it's coming from you and you feeling consistently, you're always putting yourself second, third, fourth, fifth in the pecking order, in an imaginary pecking order that like, look, might exist in some senses, you know, someone may be more rich and more powerful and have a higher status than you in the room. Fine. That doesn't mean that you're like seventh in the pecking order because you can still offer stuff. That's just objective like, oh, they earn more money. That doesn't mean. That doesn't mean,

that they are intimidating. That just means that's like a separate fact. You can extrapolate those two things and be like, cool, but we get on. I spoke to them and they're really nice. Like, oh, we have this in common. And finding something in common with somebody that you're intimidated by is often the thing that will explode that intimidation,

especially if it's like a friend or as a person in a group of friends who you're like, God, they're so cool because they're so quiet. And then it's like, well, it's because often quiet people can be quite intimidating, can't they? I've got a friend who like, like she doesn't really laugh very much, but when she does, she really laughs. Everyone's always like, I'm... But you can just see everyone just being like,

she laughed, you know? And it's like, right, can everyone just chill out? But then I find myself doing that. No. Okay. The times that it's happened to me, I have absolutely, like, sort of left my body and just being, like, watching myself from above,

being like, what the hell are you doing? You, that's, you know, that's Idriselba. Yeah. I've never met Idriselba, but that's the equivalent, you know. You stared into John Malkovich's eyes. We weren't looking to it, but... yeah sure and also he did intimidate you so yeah john but like i think if you're currently you're like okay this is very helpful it's all on me i get it nobody can intimidate me without my permission

this is on me i'm doing all of this okay but it's happening what can i actually do about it yes if you've left your body you're thinking oh my god here are all these people i'm feeling so intimidated i'm just having a heat map that's just saying this that's it justelba that's a justelba or i'm just thinking I'm so aware of my own elbows. I'm just feeling like a little piece of shit in this room of all these cool people. Be like, okay, take some big breaths, try and bring yourself back into your body. Be like, what use are you possibly, if you're just like floating above yourself, watching yourself? No use to anybody.

Can you think of a time in the past where you were intimidated however long ago by somebody who you then met and we're like, oh, you're actually really fun? Oh, what a waste that was being intimidated. Oh, remember when I was absolutely intimidated by that girl when I was in year four and she was in year six? oh, that was a 10-year-old. Maybe that was a waste, you know, like, yeah. Be like, okay, here is all this past evidence,

that intimidation is a waste. Can I try and bring that to the current situation and be like, I think in the future I'll look back on this and be like, this was a waste. Like, it's not any help. They're just a person. And if you met them and you didn't know they were powerful, you'd be like, oh, that's a man.

Oh, that's a lady. Or like, she's got long hair. He's got no hair. You would just, you would take into what Tessa thinks. looks at people. That's all I've got to go on. Like that's, that's the sort of, you just take them at face value and be like, oh, they were funny or like, they were interesting or like they had a funny story about some grapes or like, you just would meet people on their own terms. There's no reason for you to bring all the baggage with a person, you know? Yes. People say a lot about

the like, imagine they're naked or like, imagine them shitting themselves or something. I don't know if that's helpful necessarily. But I think if it does help you, then go for it of like, I think it's less to be like, how they shout themselves and more to be like, oh, they're just a person with their own stuff going on. And right now, you've decided the hierarchy in this room, but, like, they've been in rooms where they were the bottom of the hierarchy. And everyone's just trying to get by. Don't put yourself lower than you have to.

What's the point, you know? Yes. And also as well, like, I found with, so say, that's, like, good for work situations. So I went to a party the other day, just like, and it was a very small kind of party. And I knew the person whose birthday was. But I don't really know very well his friends. all know each other very well. And I always go and I always feel like I don't fit in and everyone's like a part of this group and they all kind of do the same sort of thing and I don't really do that either

and like it's all this kind of and I but but I really like him and so I was like I'm going to go and I'm just going to act, behave and treat them like I would if we were already friends and I hate the phrase, but by leaning in in that way immediately they responded in a way that they didn't when I was stood in the corner of the room being like, I don't know what to say. I'm just going to have another drink and then I'll go home early. Like I was like, no, I'm going to, I'm going to have fun with these people. And I think when there's somebody at work or a colleague or whatever, that also can still work where it's like, okay, find an equivalent person that you have no problems with and just lean into this person that you are intimidated by. Don't hold back. Don't

shrink. Take a step towards them and see what happens because what you'll likely find is when you take a step towards somebody, they then take a step towards you and bang, you know, there's no intimidation anymore. Bang, you're banging, you're banging. And suddenly, you're banging. The more kind of like signals you're sending out to them that you don't want to interact with them and that people aren't going to go, that's because she's intimidated by me. And that taking a step forward isn't to say like, try and wow them with your hilarious story, but like, you don't need to impress them. You're just taking a step forward and being like, oh, I'm... Be friendly. I'm as deserving of...

of meeting you as an equal. I don't need to be sort of subservient and show my sort of like, oh, don't mind me, you know? Yes. Hey, do mind me. And posture is really important with that. I do have a friend who clearly is very intimidated by many things, I think.

Basically, often will be somewhere and she'll be there. And she makes herself so small and so, like, camouflaged that often sometimes I don't see that she's there. And I have to be like, come on, come in, like, get her. Is it me? No, in that, absolutely not. And I always want to say to her, like, genuinely, if you just stood with your shoulders back, that would make such a huge difference.

You, because you are, it becomes a cycle where you are creating, you are putting, literally putting yourself lower and making yourself look intimidated and small and like you don't want to be there and like you're frightened to talk to anyone so you don't really want to talk to So then people will not be receptive towards you. And then that confirms your feeling, oh my God, yes, see, look, they are better than me. Because no, no one spoke to me or they didn't look at me. It's like, no, you're not making eye contact. We've got an episode about how to be more confident.

And it's all about like blagging. Like you've got to act, at least start with the things that you can control your body, try and make your, look like you are meant to be in that room. And then, you know, however, a large percentage, I haven't looked it up, of people's perception of you is visual. So just, you know, don't wilt and curl into a little ball and not like, you know, sit tall, stand tall, look at people in the eye when they're talking

and when you're talking to them as hard as it is. And then kind of you will find yourself more able to not be intimidated. It's not a great sentence, but... It's just about faking it till you make it. Be like, oh, I've made all this up. It's entirely inside me. I just need to look right.

If I may just end by talking about Dracula. I think it's about time you do. Everybody's been chanting, desperate for it. Are you the Dracula or are you Igor? If I was like, do an impression of Dracula. You would be like very tall. You'd maybe have a cape. You'd be stood up.

I think Igor is Dracula's servant. And I think he's made of bits of other people. I think that too. And he also, a powerful surgeon in his own right. he's able to build other bits of body and he has a bit of a lisp and he thinks he drag, he's very small and he drag, if you're going to do an impression of ego, you'd be like, master, like that's how he got talks, right? Yeah.

Are you drag killer or are you ego? Like, the physicality of them is so clear and they're like, this one's the master and this one is the servant. And I'm saying how many of us go into a situation and we are immediately eager or however he chooses to pronounce his name. And we're immediately, we're low. We're like, does anyone need anything from? me, I'll just be over here in the shadows, not being a bother, being all hunched, waiting until somebody needs me. They're like, no, does Dracula enter a party like that?

No, Dracula enters, he's like, anybody here wants to fuck me? Eats everyone. He's everyone. He just takes people home that he, you know, he's owning that party. And there's no, there's really no difference between those two people. They are two undead creatures of the night with their own skills, in their own ways. Like, there's no reason for one of them to be in the shadows and want them to be in the center of the party. Yes. Is what I'm saying. And a secondary episode that would maybe help is the how to stop saying sorry episode because I think that's a verbal cue that we give all the time that we are

and it just reminded me of when you were describing Eagle about how in that episode we both very much were like, we become Eagle when we ask a supermarket person who works there. Where is the ketchup? It's like that's their job. I'm so sorry about this. It's like it's they are, that. They are being paid. So, I mean, not enough. And that's part of the problem. And then you literally trail behind them, like a little, all hunched over.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. For God's sake. Do you think Dracula is apologising? No. He's eaten them. He's eaten them. And in that order. And they had a good time.

Exactly. And of course, some people would be like, well, I've got a lisp. What am I going to, like, you could, I've got very confident friends with a lisp. It's all about that. It's about, like, how you bring your energy. You could be the most powerful person on the planet. have a list and look exactly like Igor. Yeah, you could literally physically look like ego.

You could be physically small. You could be physically... Dominic Cummings looks like he's on the run. And like every picture is taken of him. He's like... He's just rammed down in anyway. Inside. Is he not Dracula inside?

Exactly. Always. It's all about what's in here. What's in here? Have you decided the intimidation? That's in here. Are you Dracula? That's in here.

Are those drugs up your asshole? That's in here. Take those drugs out your asshole and do the drugs. That's the quote. Do those drugs. No, don't do them. Just don't put them up your asshole. Carry them in your pocket for other people to do moderately.

Don't immediately think, oh God. And then, you know. And then pop them up there. Pop them up out of a bottle hole. I hope that helps. Especially that bit. It helps. Yes, it is often about your own ego or lack of it.

And get work on that. Grow that ego, mate. Grow that ego. Come on. You're as deserving of anybody else to be in this. room, including a Giselba. Don't let other people intimidate you. You have much more power than you think you do.

And there's nothing more, oh, fuck, I was going to say that good quote that you said ages ago. And I forgot something. Was it? No, there's nothing more something than a woman realizing her own power. Something like that, I can't remember. It was really good. That sounds nice. Yeah, it was nice, but I've forgotten the crucial noun.

So we'll never know what it meant. Please, if you, listening, you're like, that was great. I'd like you to tackle this problem that I have. Do email us at Nobody Panic Podcast. at gmail.com or send us a tweet what's the twitter handle tessa at nobody panic pod we love your tweets come and find us you can also find if i meet at tessa codes and meet at stevie m but it's not an s is actually the number five um good grief still still going and yeah i mean just have have a week where you notice the people that you are intimidated by and you start to put in place some little

things to kind of bring yourself forward lean into them like really looking look inside yourself You know? Reassess. Reassess. It's a slow process. Just want to do a little bit. Little bits. And we've got a live podcast, would you believe, at the end of August.

Good Lord. Come and see it. It'll be so fun. Bye, everybody. Have a lovely week. See you next time. Bye-bye.