Nobody Panic - How to Stop Losing Things

Episode Date: January 29, 2019

Between them having lost several phones, PE kits, debit cards, keys, and both school shoes on separate occasions, Stevie and Tessa feel suitably equipped to explain how to stop losing things. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Do you have all your things near you, or are some of them gone? If some of them are gone, this episode is for you.

And I think, is it, I'm just going to go out a limit and say, everyone in the world has lost something at some point. Yes. I'm correct. Thank you. Sure, we're not really talking about deep, like, you know, losing a person. We're talking, or yourself. That will be for other episodes.

In one of the research articles I was reading, it did say, At the bottom, it was like, more help on losing yourself, question what? And then it was like, perhaps try this video of a man from Florida making some candy flowers. And let me tell you, it did help. I've watched that for 20 minutes. We've read the same article. I didn't click on it, and that says a lot. I did, and I enjoyed it.

And now I've signed up to his course. I'm nice. Steve I'm leaving you to make candy flowers. You know what? I fully support that as a decision. So I'm going to be talking about how I'm losing Tessa. and my livelihood. Yes, we're talking about the small stuff.

Losing that small stuff, because when, I mean, I'm definitely better now, but when I was, I still lose things all the time. When I was, I would say, I mean, it's, you know, when I became the age that you had stuff, even like a P-E kit at school, that even that level, or your house key, your trainers, your gym kit, that stuff.

The moment I was of age, I could lose things because I owned things. Yeah. I lost all of it all the time. And then up until I'd say, maybe like mid to late 20s, the first year I didn't lose a phone was like two years ago. In 2012, I lost six phones.

My sister lost, I think, this is right, Juneau, I'm sorry if this is wrong. I think she lost 12 debit cards last year. The most frustrating thing in the whole world, I once threw a debit card into the Thames that wasn't losing it I just lost control of my hand and it fell into the Thames

She took it out with too much vigor and it was gone And it was gone I touchwood have not Ever lost anything Never, well sometimes sidebar I like to think about a woman Called Chavorn I've made her up

Okay Who's never had a diary clash I think about her all the time I'm like biologically Is it impossible that she exists Or does she exist? And she has like an active life. I feel like it has to be impossible because it relies so much

on other people. Yeah. She's never ever gone, oh my goodness, I can't. What's my mom are I going to choose? And similarly to thinking about Chavonne is a similar cast of women, one of whom... There's never lost anything. Janet's not called Janet. I haven't got a name for this woman, but she's never lost anything.

And I don't think she exists either. She can't. You have to misplace something because I remember someone put it in a very good way to me. I lost my... I left my purse and a bus. a year and a half ago and it was that horrible feeling where like the bus is going and you're

you realise that your purse is on it and there's no way you can make it and I got so so upset with myself and this person was like yes but think about all the days that you haven't lost your purse like this is just the one day that you have yes if you don't have a system

which is what we're going to talk about later I'm certainly going to bring this up because it's helped me if you don't have a system and you're literally just relying on right now gather it It feels like sometimes in the morning, like you're like gathering up school children to take out to a school trip. Right, whereas the first, it's in my shoe,

and this one's in my hat, and then there's another drawer. And you're sort of like, anyone who can, get on the bus. If you can't, forget it. We're going without you. We're going without you. And it's sort of like, when you are on the bus, counting up who you managed to get out the door. Yes, is it Simon?

Is it who, have we got Simon's the day? No, not today. No. Not to worry. How will we deal with that? Oh, it's just every day is a... Every day is a struggle, because it gives you, Because every day, if you don't have a system, you are, it's actually more impressive because you are trying, you are.

No, it's not. No, it is more impressive that you manage not to lose stuff if you don't have, have a system. You should lose things every day if you don't have a system. Like my sister has, and I did for a long time, just sort of have like, you debit card just like flying free in your flat. The idea that you're able to get up, and in no time at all, remember that today your debit card is on that shelf. Yesterday it was on that shelf. The other day it was on your bedside table. the fact that you can remember

what, that's actually you're not doing badly. It's just your system is working against you. Yes. And I think that's like, it's a system works. I remember every day

and you're like, sure. But it would be better if you didn't have to. Yeah, and it will break down. I have a theory about more theories from me. Yes, please. The queen bee in a hive.

Always loses a debit card. Constantly. They're constantly having to find it for it. A queen bee is no different than any of the other bees. Okay. She's not genetically any different. She just, at the time when they decide the old queen is dying,

some of the new ones, five, I think five or six are put in it. I mean, we both read that book about the bees. Yes. But I believe what happens is five or six eggs, and the first one out just eats the others. She becomes the queen. Right, okay. But she is, I thought, because they're so much bigger and breeding,

that they were genetically different. But they're not at all. They are just the same bee, but that's what a bee can become if it doesn't have to think about anything, if it doesn't have to feed itself, if it is like constantly cared for. Because a big fat bee. It becomes a big fat bee.

And so it's like if part of your brain doesn't have to always be thinking, where's my debit card, what else can that part of your brain do? You'll be a big fat bee. You could be a big fat bee. That's nice. It's how I felt when I was like living out of my backpack and like every day was like, where will I sleep tonight? And then when I first like had a place for a bit, I remember the first night.

I was like, oh my God, I'm here for two weeks. I remember like, whoa, like now what can my brain think about? That isn't every day like, where will I sleep? Yeah. Oh my God. That's an extreme. It certainly is, but I think if you're constantly, like, constantly worrying about all your things, when you stop doing that, you're like, whoa.

Yeah, you have to sort of like look after yourself because if you don't have a system, you're basically just self-sabotaging every single day. With not being able to sleep, that's not your fault. But it's certainly like, yeah, if you have a system, what can you, if it becomes automatic, what creative avenues will your brain open up? Exactly. What can you do here? Even if you just, even if it just means that you just, you can spend more time in the morning, like, just making yourself look presentable.

Rather than throwing yourself out of a window at a boss. Every day screaming, where's Simon? Oh, God. My very first thing I ever lost was, I think I was maybe four or five, and I was given a velvet hat. Very of the time. I believe that. Very 1996.

And we went for Christmas, and then we went to the theatre or the cinema of no recollection of what we saw, vivid recollection that we left, and I didn't, someone said, where is your hat? And I'd been given this, like, precious thing. and I didn't have it

and it was the first time I'd have been like left in charge of my own belongings and I'd left it when we went back in the cinema and it wasn't there and the idea that like

it was gone but there wasn't any I just was so sort of well I was just being shouted out but also I was so traumatised the idea that like I could go into my memory and I couldn't find it

yes it's like your brain has tricked you it's like but where I don't understand where that's gone like where is that it was in my hands and now it's not in my hands

and then as a teenager I lost my pee kit constantly I lost the left, then the right of my school shoes. And they found the left, immediately lost the right. Extraordinary. First time I was given a Nokia 3210, lost that. And they were deeply, deeply stressful things because you've been,

not only like you've been given something and entrusted to look after it, and you didn't have the money possibly to replace it. You only had 50p in your account, in a jar that you kept by your bed. Which you called your account's jar. Of course you couldn't replace anything. And so it was all so stressful, but that memory, was like, is it for me that isn't for me the worst part? Yeah, I think it's because you're learning that when you're an adult and you have

things, it's actually, it's your first lesson that, oh, it requires some work from you. Whereas you're like, well, hang on, hang on, I'm, you immediately think that you're rubbish. And it's like, well, everyone else has got all their stuff. Why don't I have my stuff? Which basically continued for, I would say, 12 years of my life until I just let it go, guys. Welcome to the podcast. How to Stop Losing. How to stop losing stuff.

Before we blend into it... Stevie, what is your adult thing this week? Jumped in. My adult thing is... So I always... I can't confidently say in my life where a tea towel in my kitchen has come from. It would be like free with something.

It'll be the... I'll be like, well, we need a tea towel because we've moved in. So we just go to like Tesco and get the cheapest one. And also it seems to be something that people who are adults have like six tea towels. Because I've only ever been like... Well, I've never been like, well, I've...

never really had one. Anyway, my adult thing is, I was at, we've talked about how I don't like farmers markets, haven't we? Yes. Yes. I don't like them. But there was this stand, which was to help this company called Bermansy Street Bs.

And I have all these like bee hives in Berminsey Street in London Bridge area. Well, it's technically Bermansy area. And they're doing a lot of good work for like bee conservation or whatever. Anyway, they were selling these beautiful bee tea towels with like big pictures of bees on them. You love a bee? I love a bee. not in life. No.

Love to look at a bee. I've never met somebody who dislikes the physical thing so much but enjoys the abstract. I think wasps have ruined bees for me. I think I actually love bees and I wouldn't be frightened of them. I can remember not every day I see.

They're not for their ugly cousin, the wasp. They're terrifying, evil cousin. Yeah, I can't stand that. The beautiful picture of bee, it was like 10 pounds. It's like, right, I'm just going to buy. So I've bought a tea towel that's like whenever now I'm doing the dishes and stuff, I've currently, it's currently in the wash

when it comes out, be all nice and ready to go and I'm just like, this is my little tea towel that I've got and that's quite an adult thing. That's so adult. Thank you. Well done. I remember writing in my diary a few years ago I went to somebody's birthday brunch

or engagement brunch maybe and somebody gave the person a set of tea towels. Right, as a present. As a present. And everyone went, oh, it's lovely to have a tea towel. And I wrote in my diary, everyone said that and nobody wanted to die.

and I it says so much about being an adult when people say things like that and I really thought this is bad everyone I don't want this for myself I don't want this to not but now I get it

I get it but I'd go as far as to say if someone bought me tea towels I wouldn't be happy with it would be like oh get something better I don't think it's still boring but buying yourself a teetow

they're like you know what that's a nice teetail I think I might give grandma some teetails because she keeps her teetails in this old urn, they come out, she irons them, and then Sheila puts them in an urn and closes them. For a while, I was like, Grandma, all your teetails smell of death, like, what is this smell? Because they're

obviously clean, but like, why do they smell so bad? And she was like, I don't know. And then eventually they'll start, they come out of the wash and into this urn. I was like, grandma, this has got it to stop. And it won't. You need to air out her teetails. You need to buy her like a little rack. I'm just going to buy some new te towels. Right, yes, because the old ones are just, they're unsalvaged gone. I understand. Yeah. No, that's fine. I think the oldie, get the more you appreciate. Like, I bought my grandma's socks for Christmas and I was genuinely really embarrassed about the fact that I bought socks, but I also genuinely thought she'd like

them. I was been like, oh, I've bought these socks and she absolutely loved them. I love them. Like, sometimes the most boring things are, are the best. Well, it's your adult thing. Oh, I've done buying teetowns for your grandma in the future. In the future. Uh, I've done a tax return. Very good. Very good. Well done. Snaps for me. That's excellent. Thank you. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. And I've paid it. Oh, nice. Yeah. feels fine. It's sad, isn't it?

You never get that feeling about actual satisfaction. It's just a sort of sense of like, yeah, that's what I had to do. That's done, I guess. Yeah. For another, till another year. Or, as I found out, rudely in 2017, till July or June when you have to pay in more.

I didn't realize that. Do you? Oh, God. Yeah, you do. That was no god of like, oh God, I don't want to be the person to tell you that. Yes, you get another bill halfway through the year. And I didn't pay it because I didn't look

come HMRC until the next January. Obviously, then I got loads of charges and fines. So check it around June. Yeah, dull isn't it? It's just... Tricky. You want more? That's what I say when I pay it. I just like to think of all the services I've

had and from the government. I don't... I'm... Yeah, I guess so. I just consider it to be like how many times I go to the NHS once. Expensive trip. I was just going to say, I've been like twice and then had to go private because they couldn't do anything.

So actually, shall I not pay my taxes? Yeah, I just try to be like, okay, I guess, thank you for having me. Thank you for having me the government. They take my bins, I guess. Yeah, thank you for taking the bins. I don't want to go to the dump. Thank you for cleaning the streets. Thank you.

Thank you for the music. Thank you for the music. And giving it to me. Yes. Difficult, isn't it? Difficult to feel a lot of love and affection for the government. It certainly is. When you're paying thousands of pounds in tax, I'm going to get in June.

But adult things, boring, hard, dealt with. Done. Like they say in the London tube system. See it? Say it. Sorted. That's about terrorism. And tax. Right.

Seamlessly, I'm going to take you onto the... Close. The London Underground. Okay. Take you there. Take you there. Oh my God. I'm actually getting PTSD because I lost my phone.

On the London Underground. wonderful system they have there. Unfortunately, it's so good that I could see my phone was there, but they were like, unfortunately, you have to fill in a form and you'll get it between five and ten days. And I was like, oh my God. They get 100 phones a day. So you went down to the thing on Baker Street?

Yeah, because I tracked my iPhone, and they were like, it's there, but there's a sack of phones. There's literally a sack of phones in the, and she's like, try ringing it? An absolute nightmare. But amazing job that they do. So far in January, how many mobile telephones on the London Underground? I've no idea, but she did say 100 of them a day, but she may have been like, go on.

Don't I guess? 200. My maths is real bad. Even I know that. Come on. Okay. 10,000. Yeah, very good.

Oh my God, is it? No, 1,000. 1,400. That's incredible. The number one most lost thing? Oh, keys? Keys come in at number 10. Oh, what disappointment?

Yeah. If I reached number 10 in the charts with my debut single, I'd be disappointed. Yeah, you would. Okay, wallet. Wallet. Wallet number six? Hats. Clats at number five. Gloves.

Gloves at number eight. Shit, getting worse. Oh, reusable water bottles. Doesn't even make the list, Stevie. Oh, it's embarrassing. Knives. Knives is number one. Yay.

No, number one is a single debit card. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, okay. Well, that makes sense. Yeah, I get that. Then your travel card wallet, presumably with the stuff in it. Then your rock sack.

Then hats, wallet, scarves, pears, gloves. Spectacles, and then keys coming at number 10. It is, I think, one of the most upsetting feelings when you realise that you've left something on a tube, a train, a boss. Actually, to one of us, anywhere. You're like, I was with my friend who lost his man. We were on the tube, got off, he left his Mac, and then it arrived at the end of the line,

and his bag was there, but his Mac was taken. And so many stories, someone I know had a, this is nothing to do with losing it, it's just an insane story, he was in a cafe, and someone, in one of those cafes got like an open window, and he's, like, sat in the next window, someone just reached in, took his Mac while he was working, drove off on a mobile.

While he's, like, typing, typing, grabbed it. Then there's this, and he had this thing set up where you can set an alarm going on your Mac. There's something that you can download that he'd already done it. So he tracked the Mac, knew exactly where it was, stood outside the flat, tried the alarm thing, could hear the alarm thing, called the police. And then the police were like, he was like, I can you come now? I've got them and they're like, no, we don't have the resources to come to pick up

someone's Mac. And he was like, okay, well, can I break in and get it? And they were like, well, yes, but then you'd go to jail. It's just like, so then he just had to let it go. I'd have broken in and got it. I'd have broken in and got it. But unfortunately he had told the police he was going to break in and get it. Yeah, but if they're not prepared to come for the first time, man.

Depends how many years you want to do. I don't know. I take my time, I'd do my time. I'd do it. I'd get one of those teardrops tattooed underneath my eye and I do my time. Our podcast has ever got to being The Wire. Yeah. This is the closest.

But yes, obviously, having something's done that's different. When you lose something, because you feel like it's your fault, you feel stupid, you feel silly, I'd get so upset. And I was reading about, like, what to do the moment, like the moment you lose it. Or that you discover it's gone. You're like, yeah, you suddenly realise it's gone. Yeah, often when you lose it,

if you knew that you'd lost it, then you would just pick it up again. So certified professional organiser at organising maniacs, sounds like a legit company, and his name's Chris Scrotwilden, says that the first thing you should do is you need to breathe, obviously, but you need to calm down,

getting upset means that you will actually be less likely to see what's in front of your face. Like it literally might be in a very obvious place. And he said, the more frustrated you get, the more your body is reacting to it, the more you become blind to finding whatever it is you're looking for. I've certainly done that. I recently lost my glasses and was just tearing the house for them. It was like, oh, they've gone. And just to make myself feel better, because I need them to, I need them to

see in work, I called up to back pavers, immediately sorted out another pair, paid it, paid over the phone, that was great, went into the bedroom, they were on my boyfriend's bedside table, not mine, because I'd swapped sides. I was fully blind to it. I didn't think to, like, methodically go through everything, because I was just like,

oh, I can't believe I've lost them, I can't live if I've lost them, well, not here, are they? But obviously, the time when, like, someone says, hey, maybe calm down, and then you'd be able to find them, you're like, oh, hey, maybe fuck off. Yeah, maybe take that suggestion and insert it up. yourself, but it is worth

like being aware of so that when it happens you can at least attempt to calm down before someone says, hey, have ever tried calming down? And then you commit grievous bodily harm. Also, there's like clever things. So if you, I didn't know this, I mean,

I'm sure maybe everyone listening is like, oh, yeah, but when you lose your phone, you can immediately put it into lost mode and then you can track it. Also, when you put it into lost mode, it shuts down so nobody can get into your phone or do anything. Then when you collect it, do remember that because you have to like

un- Yes, find my iPhone. Find my iPhone's really really good. Magical. That is magical. Once two girls showed up at our door and they were obviously quite wired, like pumped. No, no, no, no. Like, they were ready to rumble. Oh wow. Okay. Because one of them had lost

the phone and the other one had obviously, they always even like psyching themselves up into this experience for a while. Had done find my phone and had tracked it to our house. And so understandably they believed it was enough. our house. So I answered the door. They were obviously quite, they were like, hello. And I was like, have you got a phone? I was like, I've got a knife. Have you, sorry? And then we were stabbed. Eventually they sort of, they felt I think slightly sheepish by the aggressive way in which it had

begun. Yes. Eventually they established that it was, the tracking was in the house. I was like, by all means, like, come on in. And they were like, it's in your garden. I was like, okay. So like off they went into the garden and I sort of made them a tea and they stood in the garden attended to the track of the phone which did indeed appear to be very close but like it's not it's not a metal detector like it's not the GPS is not so close that it can tell you you know what room in the house it is it's like it's yeah it's like a general area it's a general area and so they were so thrilled and then to no avail such a shame such a shame I'm so sorry and it turned out it was the people that lived below you that had stolen it so like I was like I

It wasn't even, I did say like go and knock on everybody else's door if you fancy, but like, it was, it clearly like was not. And then, and then you're like, oh, this does feel like a needle in the haystack because it's like, well, now where is it? Yeah, that's really, it's really frustrating. And also, like, if the phone gets turned off immediately, you sort of can be fairly certain that someone's stolen it. Whereas if it's, I just like, watched my phone go to all these different stations. And like, at the moment it connected to Wi-Fi, it's like, it's here. Then it's here. And it's like, I bet that's why the lost property is.

And it was. Yeah. It was like, it was a real journey. With Macs and things like that, you can, I think, from, if you sign in to your ICloud on someone else's Mac, or you sign in, you know, like, you go online and you go into, like, you can also put your Mac into lost mode, or you can close your Mac down. Or at the very least, like, you can change your ICloud passwords, so no one can get into anything.

It's weird, isn't it? Because weirdly, like, debit cards and things like that are still really, really frustrating, but they're not as frustrating as a phone anymore, I think, anyway. because you can just call the number. It's pretty simple to... Whereas a phone, it's like, that's everything. That is... No one can contact me.

Who am I? Who am I? But it's all the little things as well. Like, sometimes it's so frustrating when you're trying to leave the house and you just don't know where your stuff is. Like, you know, but give the thing that you have. And I think one of the...

Well, the only kind of tip that has worked for me is to put things in the same place. And I still don't obviously do it all the time, otherwise I would never lose anything. But it's... And you can't... just be like cool now I'm the sort of person who just knows where everything is all the time just got a compartmentalist flat what you but you start with the three main things so keys wallet

phone we've got a little hook next to our door that's got the keys on it who never does it me but I'm trying and when I do it's so much easier so then the more you kind of have a go like yes of course put it on there then you realize how useful it is to have it there than the more you just do it to have like a little thing by your door or somewhere that if someone, if you're living in an area where people could put their hand through the ledbox and grab the key, out of reach of the door, sure.

But somewhere that is, that is where you put your keys. Like in films when they like come in, they always like put the keys in the bowl. You're like, throw their keys in the bowl. Yeah, you're like, cool, who sought that bowl out? Well, I feel like you could have a bowl if you'd like to throw your keys in a bowl. Oh my God, I'm saying yeah.

Great. I'm absolutely for it. Maybe get like a half a shell or something. A coconut shell. Or could be anything, couldn't it? A conch. They're always... Your phone made's open mouth. Yeah.

Throw it in there. Throw it in there. A mug. It doesn't have to be that. Could be anything. Yeah. Anything that feels nice to throw it into. Go to a charity shop, get a cheap little thing, like a nice little bowl, like a little antique bowl for like a pound.

Love it. It's your key bowl. And then the problem is with phones is that we use phones so much now to be like, my phone always goes here. You're like, cool, until you check it. And then it's in your trousers. I think the phone thing, you are always in such constant contact with it.

You won't ever need a place to put it down, really. Yeah, that's true. The phone doesn't get lost in the house. No, it gets lost out. You got out when you put it down beside you or you didn't put it in your pocket or you... Yeah, it has to be the same pocket that you always put it in on. Or the reason that I...

One of the nice things that when I was like looking about how to stop losing things is that it's not the... Because everybody loses everything. It's not... You've not lost something because of you. You've lost something because your routine has changed. Yes. And if your routine is consistently changing, you're going to lose everything.

But I was wearing this like new coat that I don't often wear. I was very shallow pockets and so it fell out of the pocket. Didn't know. Normally got very deep pocketed coat. So things like that, if you're constantly like you've got loads of different bags because you're a fashionable lady

or man. You always wear different coats. You've got to think of a system where it's like, it doesn't matter what coat you're wearing, it's always in the left hand pocket. Or it's always in the, you know, like all bags. I've got like that little inner zip thing, always in whatever the inner zip thing is of that particular bag or whatever. Do you know what used to stress me out? Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, every day coming in with a new coat and bag. I was like, where's their stuff?

Yes, where is their stuff? I think that about most people I see out and they've got a little tiny handbag. I'm like, what do you do in the day? I've got like a hiking backpack. I haven't had my backpack with me right now, but I did for a long time take to just leave it with my coat and having everything in the pocket. It was very free. What about your laptop?

Pop your laptop. You've got very big pockets. Pop it in as well. No, I would attempt to not use it. You know, I would be like... That's very clever. Do I actually need to take this with me? Or is it a security blanket of like,

what if I need to do some in my... Because I'm very disorganized, I really enjoyed getting a big backpack. And having all the treasures. Because it was like, less treasures, but I see where you're going with that. More like... Right, well, I've got pat lunch.

I've got a hat if my head gets cold. I've got a coat thing up in there. So if it rains, I've got that. I've also got my Mac. I've got this. In case that person need, like, I've just got loads of stuff, like my whole makeup bag in case someone's like, Hey, Harry's having a party.

And I'm like, well, I look like a thumb. So no, I can contour. Like I just basically like to have everything because one of my least favorite feelings is being in the city. And you're like, oh, I do have that thing? when I have to go all the way home and come all the way back, I hate, like, wasting time. But that has meant that I've potentially irreparably,

is that a word, irreparably damaged my shoulder because I'm essentially just ripping it out of its socket every day. So I've been told to not carry stuff, and I found it impossible. Like, I literally can't take anything out of my bag. I'm like, yeah, like the other day, Adam opened the bag. And he was like, what the fuck is in this? And he's like a kilogram of potatoes.

Why? Was there a kilogram? of potato. So I was like, save the planet, don't get a plastic bag, pop it in my backpack, and I was like essentially falling over backwards, but I was trying to get to the flap. Like, save the planet, sure, lunchbox, really great, but you have to also, I mean, I've got on off on a massive tangent. Find the balance, I think, is the message here. It's a fine balance and you have to. And have a lighter backpack. Have a back, yeah, I like traveling with nothing. A backpack with compartments so that, you know, you've got all the stuff that you need,

and it's really obvious when there's, like, excess stuff. Like, well, you don't need that. You don't need, you don't necessarily need, you know, five books in case you get bored of one of them. Take one book, have one notepad, it always goes in there, your pens go in there. You think, like there's a really great, it is expensive, I don't have one, but there's a, there's a backpack called bag range, called NOMO with a K, K-N-O-M-O, and I've always coveted them. Because they always, like, they're over-the-shadow ones, I've always got, just got so many compartments, they're, like, to organise people. Well, something I've seen on Instagram is just the inlay of that, so you don't have to buy

the bag. Holy mother of pearl! That is amazing. So it comes in quite a nice felt, what's it called? Bag inlay. Why not? Yeah. I've got to look it up. We've got to tell the people. Bag insert. Bag insert organizer.

Yeah. If you Google that, you can get a woman's handbag organizer. Oh my god, and then just pop it in. Pop it in, mate. And Merrill Streep, you can move the inlay from bag to bag. That's, this is some good business. Right. Get yourself one of those.

Of course. And then it's got one of those. Starts this where the phone goes. Yeah. Because obviously it feels like we're just talking about organisation, but that is the key to not losing things. To just gradually make yourself being organised with your own stuff. You can be disgusted in like about everything else,

but just your own stuff is organised so you don't have to have to think about it, so you don't lose stuff. Like my dad, the moment his diary isn't in his inner left hand side pocket. All right hand side pocket, dad, I've forgotten. He's like, where's my diary? He knows immediately, whereas it takes me like four days to know something's lost. Then I'm like, well, it's gone now. Yes, it's basically like you want sort of a bento box, not an actual one, but the concept of.

Yeah. But if you looked at a bento box, there was always had your, there was always a six thing. There was something that. The ginger goes there. And if you've got a blank space, you're like, what something's missing? Hang on. Hold the fire. Where is my Mackey? Where?

The Mackey roll. Where's my Mackey roll. You know, you remember that there's something is gone because that's what always goes there. You need to get yourself in the habit of like in whatever way it's best for you to like, it'd be clear that something is missing because something is not in its space. Yes, very much so.

So that is very much the... And similarly, in the home, you want to be like, where is your passport? It lives in the passport drawer. Where's... Mine is in the Hogwarts Express tray in between the two mallards. Literally, I'm not joking. I know you're not joking.

No, I'm telling people who can't see because that sounds like a joke. Oh, right. Fantastic. now, Stevie, you can just point to your passport. Point to your passport. Because in the past, if I may tell this story. Yes.

Oh, I was... Oh, yeah. I know it's terrible. Stevie dreamt that her passport... Oh, I have buried the lead. Sorry, I've begun with the punchline, but Stevie dreamt that her... Stevie's passport had run out, expired, if you will. And she thought, God, this is pretty grown up.

I better go and fix that. So she gets... It took some time, effort and money. So many forms. To then try and find her old passport, took her several days. Yeah. And when she did, it was not expired. No.

And she realised she had dreamt that. And I'd already paid £70. And I was like, can I have, and I was like, funny thing, can I have that money back? Because I dreamt that it was expired. And it? No. And where was your passport when you found, did find it? Oh, it was.

So I used to keep it in that little box. That was my like important things box. and um but there were loads of like just like bank statements letters that i've never even read that i should have done and it was just it was just it was in there but it was just jammed between so it wasn't the place that you thought it was yeah but that that's the thing like you can't just have it in you can't be like and that's where my passport goes if your passport's like you know with my socks like you have to have it in a place that is on display between two mallards and my my for example is in is in my sock drawer I'm so sorry that I use that as an example no that's

as long as you know that that's where it is and if called upon to find your passport. You can confidently put your hand in it. Rather, I think what I mean is when it's a mid... Many, many, many, things that look the same. Then it's just like, when you want to get in a system of like you saying like, I just put all the bills

and love letters and treasures in this one box, it could be anything in there. You want to open the letters, is it a bill? And it needs to be a very quick thing of like, shall I bin it or does it go in here and it's like instantaneous? And then if they are bills that go, put them in one of those clear plastic folders whatever, like get one of those ones with the little tabs, many tabs.

Oh, yes. Okay. Oh, yeah, tabs. Yeah. Thank you. And you can write little fun things. House. My bills.

Electricity, receipts. Um, warranties. That's good. We have a little warranties folder. Because if I said to you, like, go and find the warranty for like that speaker in the house now, you'd be like, Jesus Christ. I actually do know, but that's because I live with an organized person. Yes.

And where to put them? He has a clear folder in there with all the warranties for everything. Yes. Very good. So I'm learning like first hand. I'm like on the front line of learning. Really exciting times. Learning from a, you've got a Mr. Miyagi.

You're living with one. Yes, I am. But unfortunately that means I'm consistently the person that loses stuff isn't talking about. It doesn't know where anything is. If you pointed to one of my things, I don't know if I'd be able to confidently tell you. But so which is I just wanted to pop in and be like, one of the main things is to not beat yourself up for losing stuff. because it doesn't mean you're stupid, it doesn't mean you're like,

well, I'm just a scatty person, so I guess I just have to accept that. You don't have to accept it because actually there are very simple things with all these things that we're talking about. If you just implement them for the three, like identify the thing that you lose the most. For my sister, listening,

it's a debit card. She needs to make sure that she has it in the same bag all the time, same purse. She doesn't keep it in a purse. Like, you know, compartments. It's often just loose, yeah. Okay, so John Robbins, Perrier Award-winning comedian.

Oh, yeah. very two years ago in his show talks about the pain of living with somebody who loses their debit card when you are somebody who knows where your goddamn debit card is and he says

gentleman and I mean it's a no it's a very like gender thing to say but he says like gentlemen in the room where's your debit card and everyone's like in unison is like in my wallet and he's like where's your wallet and everyone's like in my pocket and they're like if it's not in your pocket where is it in my hand and so he's like that's like that's where it goes, you pay for something, you put it back in your wallet, it goes back in your pocket. Like there's never any, it's never anywhere else, it's never been in the bathroom.

Whereas if I was like, my debit card's in the bathroom, you'd be like, sure. Yeah, absolutely fine. Probably. No, right. Probably doing some buying or something and left it in there, you know, it could be anywhere at any given time. And it's also transferring it to all sorts of different bags and like, yeah. My sister has like an amazing array of clothes, an amazing array of bags.

And also, like, I don't think she's found, now she has, but she hadn't found for ages, like, the good bag. She'd like go to charity shops and just buy bags, which I think the zip would break, or it wasn't quite big enough. And I was exactly the same at her road. She's a little bit younger. Only a tiny bit. At her age, I too.

At her age in the 1920s, I found it difficult. But now she's got like a nice bag. So I've actually spoken to her about her debit card in ages, so she's probably listening being like, yes, I have a system. So, but now she's got like a nice bag, it's got pockets in it. It's like always pop the debit card in that pocket. That's where it is, always. The issue is is that a lot of female clothes, as much,

we've all talked about and you've talked about in your show Perrier, near Perrier Perrier skinning. Perrier Swimming.

Perrier Award comedian, Desa Coat talked about pockets. Perrier brushing. She knows people who've been nominated for Perrier.

Who saw the show. She's seen Perrier shows. Has you talked about the fact that women disclosed doesn't have pockets. The amount of times I've bought a pair of trousers and been like,

cool, so they've got fake pockets on them. Like, what is the point of this. And then I've got a oh, what is it? I've got a really nice jacket

that's technically a man's jacket and it's got inside pockets. You're like, why doesn't every item of clothing have this? And you feel like James Bond with your inside pockets? Yeah, then I always put it, and then it's safe but it's not safe in any of my women's jackets. No. It's just hanging out there. But yeah, having a

system, I think, it's just the most important thing. It's the most important thing because it'll mean that yeah, you're not every time you need to leave the house. I don't know if she still does it but Gina and me at her age will be on our hands and knees like going through our bag

being like, where is it? And it's like at the bottom on its own nude and you're like great and then she does what I used to do and just throw it back in. And obviously now I'm so terrified of losing stuff I don't do that. Watching her do it makes me

makes something hurt inside my body. Well there is a psychological study to be said for both people who lose things and people who are late is that when you... Yes. There's a correlation. Is that when you are...

No, no, obviously there is a clear correlation but also when you... For example, if you are running for a train and you make it like just for... You just make it the train. The thrill, you can ride that high. I just did not... I never feel thrilled.

Even when you get... Make the train. I feel like thrilled, but I'm also annoyed at myself that I left it that late. Do you? Yeah, always annoyed. Whereas you absolutely thrive on it. It's like hot white, pure. It's like I'm high as a car.

Like, that is, I didn't think I was going to make the train, but I made the train just like, okay. That is, oh, that's the rest of the day. That serotonin can last you the week. Easy. And I suspect, similarly, Gina, the, the, where is it? Oh my God, I found it. Shouting, I found it, is the same hit of, you know, I, when we were, like, hunting for things in the house as a child, which was most days.

Like, the, I was, even when I was looking, I was, like, already excited for either getting to be the person who got to shout, I found it. or hearing it from another room. I can see where like, did you do a lot of treasure hunts as a child? Oh no, no, no. Because we didn't have the time because we're too busy finding our belongings

before we could leave the house. So like, no, no, it's nothing to do with that. It's not like a... I thought there's like a childhood. It's not a... It's not left over from an exciting game we once got to play. It is that thing of like,

this is bad, this situation and in one second it's going to be transformed into being a good situation. Okay. Everyone is shouting, everybody is cross. The thing is lost, but in a minute it's going to be found.

Right. Or like everyone's, we're late for this train, but oh my God, we've made the train. Okay. And I suspect there is... Many people must have that. Yes, that there is something to do that same thing that like you sort of, like, Gina would have been like, I found it, but then she doesn't, she knows she's going to go through this same process. And sorry to make Gina are...

Yeah, Gina is also very... Very organized. Very organized and wonderful woman. But she's also representing the every person here, which is you find your debit card. And instead of being like, I shall never do that again. She just throws her back into the back. Yes. she's also different to me in the sense that I could not accept

I could not accept that I kept losing stuff like I was like I need to I know what to do like I need to work this out whereas Gina accept the negative not negative at all because not a negative aspect of your personality but she except like the kind of stuff that is tricky to deal with she's just like ah that that's just me and that's okay whereas I'd be like how is this me oh my god so that that meant that it was easier for me to then be like, right, I've got to put a system in, I have to. Someone also said to me, which was very, very helpful, one of the most organised people I know, I was talking to her about how I was just like, I just, this was before I decided to have a system. And actually, the thing that made me get a system, I was just like, I've just sort of lost, I've sort of accepted the fact that I will always lose stuff, and I'm just sort of lost, and I'm so just annoyed by it. And she was like, I'm an incredibly disorganized person. And I laugh. for ages. I was like, you have never missed an appointment with anything. You know where everything is. You have your diary at all times here. And she's like, yes, I have my diary at all times here.

When I don't have my diary, I am at a mess. So I have my diary and I write everything in my diary the moment it comes to me, the moment, so I don't forget anything. I have put in place so many rigorous systems because I know that if I don't have those systems, I would be lost. And it made me feel so much better that it was like, oh, you're the most organized person ever. But you're only the most organised person ever because you have had the forethought to put these systems in place. So I could theoretically be like you if I did these systems or if I knew where my stuff was. If I knew the thing that I lost all the time was my debit card or the thing that I lost all the time is it is my phone. Right. So what do I need to do? Literally like if it comes to it,

get a bum bag and put your phone in it and that's the only place where your phone goes. Like that's sort of level of like and it's not you're not stupid for having to do that. That's just what everyone has to do in order to not lose stuff. Yes. But just lots of organised people, like lots of men, I know, have just done it since birth. I think they, like, came out with, like, compartments.

But also, they, in many ways, did have the compartments. Like, if you go into any sort of men's, men's Christmas presents, treats for him, or, like, the leather good. They are those, that leather square for putting your keys in, and coins beside the bed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pen holders, like, those are the men's nice stuff. is this very clear. And the wallet's like, if you've ever seen a man's wallet. Guys, I don't even know if I've seen a man's wallet. W-A-L-L-E-T, if you want to Google it.

Man. Man. They're like, even like the cheapest of them are so much more like better designed. Yes. And compact as well because women's purses can often be massive.

Yeah. So you're just like obviously shove and win with loads of stuff. It's full of tat. And like obviously that amazing men's wallets you get to put the notes in. So just some quick systems that might help you. Saying things out loud, if you have something with you that you are putting down in the house somewhere and you know that you're forgetful and it, you know, say, I'm putting this on, just out loud to yourself, this is on the table now.

Yeah. Like putting it there, you've said it out loud, it's moved therefore, and that's something about the memory where you sometimes physically can't access a memory because it isn't in your long-term memory. Right. You're doing some of me else while you put it down. Exactly, so you didn't notice. And so you can beat yourself up to the cows come home, but that memory isn't coming back. and so saying it out loud puts it in your conscious memory and there it is for you in long term to access

and if you are trying to remember where something is just like being like ah isn't going to help you but if you try and move laterally and be like okay what else was I doing last time I oh I was thinking about texting this person oh I was doing this oh then I thought I'd watch Game of Thrones oh and then I got and then I put it in the fridge and then like maybe you can find a more like

logical progression rather just being like where is the debit card Yeah, there is something very satisfying about suddenly realizing what you've done with it. Yes. Even if it is like, oh, I did throw it into the Thames. You're like, well, at least I know I threw it into the Thames. At least I know. At least I know that's where it is. Exactly.

But you will rarely find it by digging directly for it. You've got to dig sideways. Sideways, yeah, yeah. Because you wouldn't have lost it in the first place if you, it was in your conscious memory. Or never leaving a space without saying your things. So for me, it became phone money keys. Yeah. That was my like three things I would say to myself.

I physically touched them when I left the house every day. So I never like leave the house like my keys or all the money or your phone. Great, yes. But like saying them physically out loud, touch them and like, okay. And then moving from one place to another getting out of a taxi, getting out of a... Look behind you. Look behind you. Oh my God.

That revolutionised my whole life. Yeah, just turn around. And also what's great is not great, but like when I do lose something, it's because I haven't done that thing. Yeah. It's not because like, I'm rubbish is because I didn't look behind me because I, you know, I was stressed or I was, and it's often when you're, you're tired, stressed, drunk or hungover, that you will lose something. So you have to be on like, I'm always, whenever I'm one of those four things and I leave the house, I'm always say to myself, like, we're on high alert today. Yes.

We're going to be doing all of the things. Well, hello, Stevie, you're drunk and this is a high alert program to get home. This is a high alert. This is a deafconfoam. This is not a drill, everyone, where is the phone? Yes, I'm in contact with the phone. And so you just need to get yourself into, but you will be better during a DefCon situation. If you have practice, that's why the Marines practice the drills. Just throw the SAS into a situation.

This is not their first time. These guys know what they're doing. So every time you're on the tube, check behind you. So you just get into the practice of like, that's what it's like to leave public transport is to always check. Yes. So when it feels weird not doing it,

that's where you want to be. Yes. Oh shit, I didn't look behind me. Getting out of somebody's car. And you feel like, I don't have any stuff. Like, just always get in the habit of like, you always check, you're getting out of the car, you check. You leave someone's house,

you check your stuff. The world belongs to those who check. The world belongs to those who check. And if you are out shopping, for example, and then you've got, your Christmas shopping, you've got like increasingly more and more bags. And then that happens all the time, you've left one of the bags behind. Yeah, it's most expensive thing. Always the most expensive. Because you can't, because then you're just like, oh, there's some bags. Yes. Every time you add another plastic bag to the pile or paper, save the planet, say, now there are three bags. Because they're all three.

Now there are three. Now there are four. Now there are four. Five bags. Gold rings. Yeah. So you're always, you don't have to be like, oh my God, which bags do I need to remember? She's like, are there five bags? Yes, we can proceed. Also, you can often put bags in bags. Certainly, in which case, like, there are now four. Like, you must always be clear that you always say the Gandalf thing. Just when, how many bags you've got in your hand or how many things you're holding.

I have four children. Like, just say how many, because you don't need to be like, you then it's just like a, you'd have to count. It's just a number system. And then the last one is, remember how you when you had mittens as a child and they were attached. I still have them. My mum bought me string mittens and it was like, good try, mom. Best things have ever happened to you. Discovering a thing that clips on to another thing.

Oh my God. Revelationalary. Oh, my God, that's something else. Oh, yeah. You've got to clip stuff onto stuff. You have to. You've got some good clipping onto things. Yes, I do.

So my phone charger is sewn in. with a little... Look how economical I was. I used the ribbon that comes from the shoulder of... Clothing, you always have to cut off. Where you're like, what the point of those? One of those, I use that to sew the charger on.

That's amazing. So it can run between... It's a loop. A classic loop. That's excellent. So that enters the inside of my bag, so I always have my charger with me because I lose them constantly. And the remote control in our house is also on a string.

this is good because people say like just get the special thing and always put it back here but you won't whereas the first time I saw that was in the textiles department at school

and the scissors were strung to the table or in banks when they have the pens attached and I was like this is so good they're onto something here this is the way

banks and DIT yeah DIT and DIT yeah this is the future sew your things together um yes

excellent I hope that helped it was actually a suggestion from now as either Micah or Meeker but thank you so much for suggesting it because it's just really right up my alley and yet

it's all about systems all about being organized and crucially you're not stupid you're not stupid everybody in the world has done it pot for me everyone does it the only difference between you and organised people is they're doing it because someone told them to do it because maybe when they were a child they lost something and then they're like no you're 11 and then they're like oh my god

and then they like put it into practice. So if anything, you're just more like chilled out. Yeah, there's no difference in you. It's just how far along the organisation path you are. Yes, it's a long path. Just keep walking. Should I? I'm not going to sing poker hontas again.

No, imagine I am. Imagine it. And just keep walking. But while you're walking, keep checking behind. See if you've dropped in a thing. Just in general, I think. The world belongs to those who check. It really does.

Thank you so for listening. Like and subscribe. Do a lovely tweet or send... Send us if you have a great system. If you have something attached. to something else, I want to say a picture of it, please. Tweet us at Nobody PanicPan or at TVM. The S is a 5.

At Teser Coates. Email us, Nobody Pannicpodcast at gmail.com. And just like, don't lose stuff. You can do it. That wasn't the best bit of advice, was it? Even if you do lose stuff, it's fine. Yeah, keep your things safe. But at the end of the day, there are only things.

Oh my God, that's so much better than just don't lose stuff. They're only things. They're only things. Bye, guys. Bye-bye. Thank you.