Nobody Panic - How to Stop Reading a Book

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

You’d think this was fairly straightforward, so why is it so hard to admit defeat? Why do we use words like “admit defeat” when discussing a book? The book doesn’t know you’re not reading it! Stevie had these epiphanies recently, after pretending to read Crime and Punishment for circa 25 years, and Tessa is eager to learn.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The date is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace. It's coming to London. True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September at King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to Nip DiPanic, a podcast about how to do things. Sometimes they're very complex things that we get an expert in. Sometimes, they're how to stop reading a book. And let me tell you when I say, let me tell you when I say, please, this will sustain an entire episode. Well, it will.

And I don't, I don't disagree. Don't disagree. No, I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you for having me on. Tessa Coates. As the guest, thank you, Stevie Martin. I arrived very recently, very late. arrived in a very chaotic energy.

I love that you're telling me this, like, that isn't every time other than when Paul Rogers in here. I would say, actually, and I look to you for some cooperation to the last two on the trial, have been ahead of schedule. Oh my gosh, you actually have.

Thanks, and I've been really trying. God, I'm such a bitch. No, that's okay, because that is part of the course, and I am normally late, and I am really sorry, but then I had had quite a good streak, and I was like, maybe I'm a new person. Yeah.

It fell off the radar. Right. And I do, I cannot apologize enough. You don't have to. It's absolutely fun. I have a lovely coffee in a chat with producer name. It was nice every time. Thanks for accepting me as I am. Anyway, I arrived in very chaotic energy. Bag flying. There was a comment that my bag says super dry on it, but it was wet.

It's wet from the rain. And I arrived and I said, I'd like to discuss this topic. It was going to be, my adult thing to you was going to be that I've been trying to, that I stopped reading a book. Yes, but then you did brandish the book and go, I finished it. I finished it. Yeah. No, there's been, it's actually been like a spate of these. And we'll get into it in depth. But I'm really, I've been really struggling to stop.

It's a real psychological deep dive for this. But the joy of being like, no one's forcing me. Yeah. No one's looking. Okay. It's an odd thing, isn't it? Whoa, back it goes. What, back on the shelf?

Back on the shelf. Or what I like to do is give it to a charity. show because someone will go, oh, and I don't really enjoy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's why I was surprised by you putting it back, because to me, I'm like, get it out of the house. I don't want this burden of shame. Interesting. In my home. I wonder if it's like that deep-seated thing about books that is like, books are, like, clever, like, clever people who are like, and if I stop, I'm stupid girl, I'm stupid girl, stupid, mean, beady-eyed woman. For example. Yeah. And, and welcome B-D-E-E-Ied listeners, you know?

Absolutely. What does B-D-I'd mean? I was just, just. I was about to say that. I was like, hang on, is it just small eyes? Yeah, because... Right. I think it's like, there's like a certain beadiness to the expression. It's like... It definitely means mean.

It was definitely like a shorthand to mean, like, not a nice character in a role doll. Is this more or less bead? That is neither bead, neither bead, nor there. What's that? I'm gonna make that eyes round like a bead. We'll open them then. Yeah, that's...

So that's beady-eyed, is it? No, I think, okay, hang on, what is BDI? And the amount of books I've read and maybe stopped reading Where they're like, he looked at her, BD-eyed. So in my head, now they're all going to be doing this. Oh, okay, no, I'm, so definitely not big round. Right. It turns out it's not to be able to do with the shape.

It's about, it's eyes that seem to gleam with malice, avarice or lechery. Is it avarice? Probably, I don't know, really. I don't know. So it's about the energy of the eyes. This is blown the eye game wide open. That is madness. In my head, it's been small eyes every time.

Yeah, so has I. So has I. Just a normal response to a normal thing. Anyway, it's hard going. Come on in. Come on in. Before we get into it, we're going to do our adult thing of the week. The thing we're most proud of,

Stevie, do you have an adult thing this week? I, God damn do. Please. I've been trying to change energy provider. Holy fucking shit. And I've realized, I've never been in charge of doing it. that in my life to the extent where when I was trying to do it, I had to ask questions of my partner, The Shadow, like, do you have to call up the one you're leaving and sort of say

goodbye? And he was like, no, they just sort of sort it out. They just kind of know that you're, you know, like it's all they do all that. It's like, okay. How do you get a smart meter? I'm asking these questions of the current energy provider that I think I've outed myself as someone It's like, have you never had electricity in your house before? So it's been an eye-opening experience, but also I'm learning a lot. Still haven't managed it. Because the gas meter is out the back in a courtyard, infested with pigeons, covered in shit. Yes, the pigeons have come to the table previously.

How many pigeons are we talking? Landlord's response was when I was like, where's the gas meter? She was like, oh, it's outside, don't go. It's really dangerous and awful. I was like, right, well, then what? How will I? And then that was it. I was like, cool.

How do I do anything then? I was expecting like thousands of pigeons So it's really like I'm actually like quite hot and sweaty Even thinking about what I thought it would be like Yeah, yeah, yeah When I went out, I don't know if this is better or worse No, it is better, but it's still bad

I'd say about 15 pigeons in a very small enclosed space Shooting out of areas of the wall That you're not expecting to come out of it. Wow, wow! This is what I'm imagining We're trying to get to the philosopher's stone Yeah, we're going through a new room what's the challenge in here?

Pigeons out the wall. That's what it feels like. Great. So when I was like, I'm going to do it. When I went out and she was like, there's all these gas meters for all the different flats, all of them so encrusted with shit that you can't get to the door to open to read the meter. It's like an impossible challenge.

Like, so I can't have a smart meter. I can't read the meter and no one will tell me what to do. But I'm persisting and that's the adult thing. Called up over and was like, can someone come around and help me? And they were like, no, that's your landlord. Obviously. I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot.

And then I called the landlord. And she was like, no, that shouldn't, that's not me. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. It's like, right. So now I don't know. Well, I'll figure it out. But like, it's an ongoing project. So yes, that's my journey.

I now understand about energy providers. I understand about smart meters. I understand what gas is. Well done. That is a huge journey. It's a huge step. I still confidently wouldn't know where gas, where gas is. No one ever knows where gas.

What does gas? What does gas? Where is it? What do you want for me? Yeah. I don't know what it actually powers in the, house. I'm like, is gas hob, of course.

Famously. Famously. But it's, it's not, it's an electric one. Yeah. Still gas. See, that's the thing. What's it even, what's it even powering? You know?

Fucking hell. I asked it once years ago. Gas. Yeah. Gas. Where are you? What do you do? What do you do? Where is the meter?

No, I remember saying, and what does the gas power? And people laughed. And then someone was like, the phone. And I was, as a joke. And I was like, yeah. Is it? is it? Googling it.

Gagling. Gas phone. I was like, honestly, like, don't make jokes here because how does this house work? We joke. Well, look, look what's half now. I've been like, yeah. I don't think it's the cooker because it's electric and even going to go. Yeah.

I'm like, cool. I still don't know what it is. I mean, either. And now I'm like, right, but if you've got an electric top and an electric oven, where is the gas go? Is it in the boiler? What's it doing there? So, thank you for listening to this how to podcast.

How to Gas. From two women in control. What's your adult thing, please? Mine is quite good. Oh, yeah. Very bold. Sent my stamps in. My old stamps.

Where? To have my stamps returned. What are you talking about? So you know they've got rid of stamps. No! I rephrased. How will the people post? With new stamps.

Okay, sorry. The Queen's not on the other than the thing. I need to stop guessing. Yeah, stop guessing. I'm fine. Give me a chance. I'm so sorry. Here I come.

Yeah. You're doing great. You're not wrong. So they. are phasing out your classic stamp and now, yeah, and now all stamps have a little QR code beside them. So, but you've got all these stamps and you've got all these stamps and people who've bought lickable stamps, old stamps, non-QR code stamps. They're like, what the hell am I going to do? I've got these old stamps. This is you and loads of old, me and all the old people.

How are we going to do with our own frank stamps? Okay, so what they did was, they were like, right, you get this, you go to the post office, you get a, it's still happening, you can do it now if you're thinking, I've got bags of the stuff. No one's, thinking that. It's fun to listen to. Nice to listen to. You got a free letter and a free post envelope and home you went and it was a nice little booklet that you opened up. It felt really fun to do. And you stuck in all your stamps. A bit like having like a football sticker book but for an elderly person. I know what stamp collecting is. Yeah. So you were doing basically stamp collecting. Right. But then you, and so you wrote down the full amount of stamps that you had in

your special little book and then you posted that off to Royal Mail. And they sent you back the equivalent amount as stamps. So you've got your QR stamps on the way? No, they've arrived. Right, that's great. I've got my new stamps. They're in the drawer. Mark stamps. That's probably, I think, in the history of our podcast and the podcast that we did before called the Debrief podcast. I do believe that's probably the oldest adult thing you've done. We're talking that's 92 years old. I felt great. Okay. What we should is, we actually should, we should have aged each adult why have we taken us this long to be like, mark them, score them. Score them. And Age 92.

Yeah, that's so good. Congrats. Yeah, thanks so much. I'm going to mark your gas one at 23. 23. That's too young. I'm thinking first university house, you know. No, because you're in a group.

And if you're someone like me, you're not the one that sorts of energy. You haven't been allocated the task. No one's going to allocate energy to me. No, and me neither. I've still to this. I've got away with it so far. But I reckon 26, if you haven't done that, that's an issue. And that's not far off my age.

That's the thing. If you're girls who get by on morale and good vibes, you haven't been allocated energy as a job. You're running on fumes, not over, all right? Wow, wow, wow. And with that fantastic bit of wordplay, into the written word, we go. Gas, stamps, books, the Holy Triumvir.

Here we go. So I've been basically, I have not read anything for a while. I've had a real fallow period. Oh, it's sad that happens, isn't it? Right? And I was like, come on, kid. you can do this. You used to love it.

Come on. In you go. It's not helping that, of course, what's sat on my bedside table? Infinite jest. I wish. Wow. I don't even know what the is. It's just people use. Me neither. People say it a lot, don't know? It's funny. Yeah. It's probably really good.

I bet it is. Let's read it. Okay. And if we don't like it, we'll stop. Wolf Hall. Oh, I've had such a visceral response to that. Because that hasn't been on my shelf, but there was a period of time where every time I went into a bookshop, it'd be there and I'd be like, everyone loves it,

I should. And she's meant to be amazing. She died recently, didn't she? She did die. And that also then reinvigorated like, I should read Wolf Hall. It feels like a very you book. I know, and I don't doubt that she is amazing.

I just, everyone's called Thomas. Half of them are called Thomas Cromwell. It's hard to read. That's too much. And I'm just, oh, I'm trudging through. I'm having to go back and read it. And I don't doubt that these, I mean, I'm not doubting the craft.

I'm just finding it very hard going. I don't mind history if it's like fake history, like vampires. That's not history. It doesn't matter. Don't mind history if it's about vampires. That's literally a sentence that I said. What I meant there is things that are set in the old days. Not the same as history.

You don't care for that. I like it. That's the only history I've ever read is like a fantasy about vampires. Oh no, that, yeah, love. Or Game of Thrones. Yeah, it was like fake history. I could have fucking taken a history level in the Game of Thrones history. I think you could have done yet.

I could have written a 40 mark essay. Easy. Yes. I'll give it a go now. Yeah, I think you probably could. But I'm not as up to speed as I was. Either way, I'm feeling like the thickest girl in school

because I can't finish Woolfall. And then I haven't had anything particularly good that I've loved for a good long while. And then sometimes I come to your house and insist that you give me a book. And it's very stressful for you. And I've not really like managed to read something cover to cover for a while. And adjacent to this problem, is there are just so many books in my house

that I don't know where they've come from. That's interesting. Yes. I think they are thricefold. Every time I go home, my mum will just give me whatever. She gets them a third hand from book club. She's not allowed to go to book club. She's got banned.

Bad behavior and back chat. And so when the village book club do their book club and then her friend traffics them out to her. That's good. So she's allowed them second out. And then they come to me. so I've got those, big part of them because I'm a big part of those

that I haven't finished then I was in somebody got me a lovely gift which was a book a month birthday subscription absolutely lovely but nonetheless they did add up and briefly in lockdown I was in this amazing book exchange thing

that was such a lovely idea on the internet of like a chain letter but people sent books you had to send one but you received loads and I received arguably too many and they were just like there. So there's just like so many books in my house that I didn't actually choose.

And some of them have been amazing but some of them I'm like, that is not what I'd necessarily pick. And because it's not what I'd necessarily pick, but someone else has chosen it and said this is the book I would love to send to somebody. I feel very obliged to be like, I give this book a go,

even though I don't know who sent it. But then you can't give it a go because you, therein lies the problem, you can't, you feel bad for not finishing it. Yeah. So it's such a big undertaking, that's probably why you haven't read a book for ages. Right.

So it's just weighing me down. And every time I think like, oh, I'll go and maybe I buy this new book or rent this or get this from the library or whatever. I'm like, but you've got all these books in your house. You're obliged to finish these books. You haven't finished book club. And then it's fucking Wolf Hall. You haven't even got to Oliver Cromwell.

We're not going to McDonald's. We've got dinner at home. Exactly. Yeah. Stevie. Thanks. The worst. And you're like, I don't want that.

So I've gone to my home. I've opened up all my cupboards. I put all my old legumes on the side. And I'm like, right, let's fucking make a nutritious stew that I won't enjoy. And I started reading some of the other. BDIs. Did I do BDIs there? Oh, it's that?

You've got to get your nose involved to get a BDI. Well, you do. I think other people may be doing it. Yeah, that's such a good BDI face. That's your face when you're alone. So, I hope you're enjoying this audio experience, everyone. So anyway, so then I was like, right, right, just pick it up. Here we go.

And I said to myself, if you're not enjoying it, you know, I gave myself a marker. And I was like, if you get to there and you're not enjoying it, you're allowed to stop. I wasn't enjoying it. But I got up to my marker. and I carried on. Yeah. And then I managed to get through one. I didn't particularly careful,

but it was at least a bit of like a quest affair. We were like, it was a poorly thought through murder mystery. But I was like, yes, yes, yum, yum, come, come. I was disappointed with the killer, but ultimately I got to the end. And then I was like, okay, we're on a roll, here we go. And then I just was looking at them, and I was like so many of them are what we might entitle,

like plotless fiction, which somebody said was their favorite genre of fiction. And I think that's absolutely wonderful if that's what you love, like just two lovers, taking the place over 20 years just like going through stuff chatting not for me where are the vampires

you need you need to feel like you're going somewhere I gotta be going somewhere always that's in life and in book exactly yeah so for not for me so there were just a number of these books I was like this isn't my natural style and yet it was this like you're a stupid girl because you can't do it

because you don't like plotless fiction you don't like plotless fiction I completely get you and I also feel like there's I don't know if you have this but I have a hangover from uni, because I did English literature, where I felt like

I had to read certain types of books. And when I wasn't enjoying them, I felt stupid. So then there was like a decade of me basically going to bookshops and just picking the clever book that you're meant to, and not enjoying it. And then not, I must have read like five books in that 10 years. I was just like, oh.

And then the moment, like, every time now, I get, I'm in that rut at the moment, or I was up until last week. And then I saw like a, I suppose, I hate this term because I just think It's derogatory, snobby, and a good, an airport book. I hate that term because a good airport book is incredibly hard to write and incredibly, and it's so rewarding to read a good airport book.

Like, there's shit ones, and that's fine. But the good ones, we're just like, oh my God, you've smashed through it. A good airport book says, this book is so good, you will forget that you're in an enclosed tube, 30,000 feet in the air for eight hours. You were able to put it down. surely that's what all books should strive to wish to be that. They can be really long and dense, but if you can't put it down,

like that's the, yeah, it's the ultimate, that's the ultimate praise. It is. And so I then went through, so then, yeah, I was, I wasn't even at an airport, I was like at a train station.

I went to one of the, they are. Similarly enclosed tube, just not as high. Just not as high. The airplanes of the ground. That's what I like to call trains. The planes of the ground.

I was going to board an airplane of the ground. Bird of the Earth. And just, I went into the W.H. Smith that you go, I'm going to go in there because that's if I'm going on holiday. And I did. And it was like, it's where all the charts don't mean anything because they're just like good books. Like, there's airport books that have been on the chart wall for like 10 years. And there's a, I can't remember what the book was called. So that says a lot, but it was great. And it was, I picked it intentionally to be like, I'll smash through this in like an hour. Like one of those just like classic, like, they're rich, but they've got problems, which is my favorite genre.

They're rich, they've got problems. There's some sort of murder. And they're not happy about all their devastating wealth. Like, I love that for some reason. I think it was a Lucy Foley book, which is like, so she did The Hunting Party. It was one of them. And it was called like the Paris Apartments, like. And honestly, a lot of fun.

Just like absolutely, just absolutely, I might as well have eaten it. Like, yum, yum, yum. Yeah. Sometimes I go into a bookshop and I say, I'm looking for yum, yum, yum. And they don't seem to know what that means. No, of course not. And also, I think they're probably surprised because very few people, again, old people going to book jobs and go, I'm looking for this type of book. They sort of tend to just kind of have a look.

They won't stop giving me horny wizards. And I'm like, that's actually not, I can see why you've done it. That's interesting. But having read it, not for me, actually. I don't think wizards and horn should mix. I agree. Steve, but there was a real spate a couple of years ago, which the theme was really horny wizards.

I missed that. I just got lots of, um, the sets. Seven doors of Janice Bellwether. Like that. That I'll take, I'll take any of those. Has it got a number. Mrs. Crabbles. Yes, please.

I'll take those any day. I loved them. Rich, having a bit of bother. That author is actually, I think, I said Lucy Foley, it wasn't. It was that woman who did the seven husbands of the doors or whatever. Is it Taylor Jenkins Reid? Yes. Yes. That's an om-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-dom thing.

Daisy Jones and the six. Oh-oh-oh-oh. Om-om-om-nom, nom. Oh, God. And they're so fun. And any of them, even the ones, there's a couple that are better than others, but, like, even the ones that are, like,

I would say, maybe not her best, they're still on-a-nom-mom. And it's a joy. It was genuinely the joy of my life to be like, oh, yes. At the moment, I want to read this sort of book. And in the future, I might, like, I go through periods of time

where I am like, oh, I really kind of fancy, like a really in-depth. Like, I hope there's a book called Demon Copperhead. Yeah, seen that a lot. Yes. So I got bought it, and I, I've started it maybe three times.

I can tell it's a really good book. I can tell it's really well written. And I can also tell that I will fancy that sort of book at some point. But it's been genuinely transformative to be like, I can tell I'll like that, but not now. And then go to like, she's a tennis player and she's on a, she's back and she's bonging, which is Taylor Jenkins. I just want a bonging tennis player.

It's just like, everybody is so hot in the tennis world. So fit. He's hot, she's hot. Hope they balk. Yeah. They will. And you know they will. 50 love.

Yeah. 50 love. A constant. It's just great. It's so good. And like, whereas there are other books that I've started and gone, I don't think I, I just I'm never going to get through this. I just don't want to.

Tip number one, the end of the part of the episode. There is a book for everyone. And if it's not for you, give it to a charity shop because somebody will or give it to someone, there might be someone in your head, you're like, oh, they like this sort of. Yeah. Move it on. Like, the author wrote that book to find an audience.

That book is trying to find its audience. Right, right, right, right. And you're actually blocking the book from finding its audience by, like, sort of forcing yourself with your little beady eyes to read it, you know? And life is too short as well. That is a real thing. I'm having an epiphany. Yeah.

It was like, it was a real like, oh, the ring of power is trying to find its way home. Yes. And I was like, got it. and what I'm doing is not stopping it because I read it in the bath or whatever I'm very because I'm not enjoying it I'm this I'm not as careful with it as I should be so the time I finished it and I put it on the wall outside the house to be taken in the hope of it you know it's it's so grumpled yeah you know and people and it does go so someone is taking my free books but like if I were putting out a new book and giving it with love to somebody who I think is this for you you know the ring of power would find it's made way better home yeah and so you wouldn't be hungry, which I think like, or like stressed or like, I hate myself. I'm throwing these books away. Not, I'm obviously, please, please no, I would never actually put a book in the bin. I think that's abhorrent.

I saw this study in Spain, a little documentary about these bin men who have made a little library of all the books they've ever found in the bin. And there were so many hundreds of books. I could not believe someone would put a book in the bin. Anyway, not the point. I mean, I'm getting rid of them out of my life to go to somebody else. But they're full of my anger and my resentment and my like, I finished it. You know?

It's such a funny word. Yeah, I finished it. I finished it. It's like, what am I doing? To myself, to the book?

Why am I living like this? Stevie. You don't need to live like this. Oh my goodness. Because books are meant to like make you, they're meant to like make you, make your life immeasurably better because you've like fully distracted yourself and you've like got your brain into like a totally different.

And if it's not doing that, it's like putting on an item of clothing and being like, well, this looks shit. So I suppose I'll wear it and feel terrible. Right, right. And then because you can get to the end and be like, like, and done. Now I can get,

why did you do it? Yeah. What's this and done bit? You're not finding any joy there. I, I, I, I'm going from school, I think,

of like, books are clever, books are for clever people. Because that, therein lies the kind of airport book snobbery thing. So there are particular books be like, well, I should.

But then also, there is a real, like, I have started and so well finish. I have completed a task and it's a clever task. Whereas no one feels clever going like, oh yeah, I binge that.

Like, you see, look, I binge that whole series of, right, Mr. Mrs Smith, for example, which is what I recently did. You don't say, I binge Danica Renana. You know.

But also, how fucking chic is that? To be like, I binge that a cronica. And then lies the issue. Sorry, I'm binging Anna Caranana, yeah. I tried to binge crime and punishment for like a year. And I would always read it. In a way, I just started going out with my now husband. And I sort of was reading it a lot in front of him and like around him.

Sorry, what were you trying to do with? Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky, of course. Desperately trying to binge it. And he'd also commented as well, because he saw it in my bag. And he was like, oh, wow, even crime and punishment. He doesn't really read books like that. He's like, God, that's very cool. He just reads books about, like, behind the scenes of a film.

Or like about film scores or sport, much more non-fictiony. And he was like, oh, right, God, you read a crime book. And that was it. But I internalized that to be like, oh, yes, it's very cool. Well, he didn't know is I'd, it was on a wall, so maybe you left it. probably mine, yeah. And then I put it in my bag being like, someone did once say to me,

like, if you're going to read one of those classic books, that's a really good one, because it is actually really good. And I've been like, okay. And they weren't like a bullshit person trying to impress me. So like, okay. So I'd put it in my bag,

but I hadn't actually started it. And then when I started it, I was like crestfallen because I was like, oh, no, I can't match. It's like nice notebooks. You're like, I'm not enough for this book. But actually,

it was, I could see. I could tell that if I was reading it for my degree, it would have been one of the better ones and I would have actually enjoyed it. But I just, I didn't want it. At that point, I really wanted to book about witches. Really wanted to book about witches. And that's, it's not that.

If anyone's interested, God's stressed enough. Crown punishment is not about witches. I would say a little top tip if you are thinking of dipping your turn to the classics. I've actually never managed any of them. Okay, that's interesting. A single one.

Right. And but somebody did, and I lamented that someone the other day and they were like, you've got to be checking which translation you're what you're reading. I was like, I was really getting in Russian, of course. Of course. Of course, you must be reading in the original language, of course, to understand the nuances. So they were like, there's so many different translations of some of the classics that aren't, weren't written in English.

And if you get, you've got, make sure you're getting the absolute the banger that was written by somebody not to be like an accurate translation of the words so much as like the sense coming across in the vibes being correctly translated as opposed to the language because some of the earlier stuff was such as like an accurate translation as opposed to pure vibes. And then I did think, hmm, very interesting. That is interesting. And then there's a lot like Reddit forums and stuff where people discuss the best translations of things. Okay. And I was like, okay. Maybe I could try that. There's one classic I, I think I would genuinely like to try, but Rebecca, everyone says Rebecca's very good. Check the translation. That's a joke because that's

in English. Good joke. We try it together. Yeah, let's try it. not. Let's not because then we'll compete and that will be bad for both of us. I don't think we will. I think after this episode, we'll compete to put it down quick enough to be like, who can finish Rebecca? Who can stop Rebecca for this? Yes. Yes. So how to put a book down, how to stop reading it, you have to let go of the energy that you've brought to the book. Give it till, you go to you're like, oh, what should I do? And you kind of go, oh, I should read that book rather than like what you you always want to be thinking is um oh i've got a train engineering great it means i can't wait to get in bed i'll get in bed only and read my book but if you're

thinking another day with thomas cromwell then you gotta you gotta stop regardless of the book if you feel like that anyway how you're feeling if that if thomas cromwell pops in you've got to you gotta stop yeah um yeah and i think it's a yeah okay it's and it's a lot of like a little backstep of being like what is your particular thing that you're bringing here to the table you know if it's like this is I just because of school I do this because of this I do this because I think what I'm is not helping me either is I start and maybe there's a small bit of a little bit of weeby twist thing or they even if it's not a proper like romp romp romp murder um or or one of those like you need to know what happens yeah and then I'm like hey look up the plot summary

look up the plot summary I've done that twice now where I've been like I'm uninterested in this book. However, I do need to know whether she ends up with him or I do need to know like who's killed them. And nine times out of ten, you look up and you go, yeah, all right, that's fine. I'm glad I didn't really finish it. It's been annoying. Yeah. It's like an old, cool, clever heritage media, isn't it? Where like, they've been for around for centuries so you feel like curling up and a look with a book is like, well, this, look at me. It's more like also the aesthetic of being somebody that really like enjoys a surprising book. Sort of like, how I'm always disappointed when I go to a pub and I don't order a pint,

because I'm like, that'll be surprising, wouldn't it? You know? And I'm like, actually, the sweetest rosé you have, not dry, sweet like sugar. You're like, I hate myself. Every time, or I went through a period of time of ordering whiskey and ginger. I don't like whiskey. I don't care of ginger. But the sort of like looks, Sid.

Yeah, well, whiskey and ginger, whiskey un-ginja, crime and punishment. It's all cut from the same. same cloth, isn't it? It's just, it's all just, it's all trying to be a thing when what we want is your sweetest Rosa you can find. Yeah. Or whiskey and ginger, if you like it. Oh, if you like it, sure, but I think. Don't force yourself. No, don't force yourself. Yeah. This feels really good. Good. Thank you very much indeed. And I think I really hadn't, so I was, I was edging towards a point, because I managed to stop a book halfway through. I sort of flicked a bit onwards and tried to get a sense of what happened. I was like, okay, I'm fine. And I managed to stop. And I would say that's maybe

the third book ever in my life. I've actually officially been like, no, thank you. And then I was like, okay, I'm going to get rid of something. I'm going to do it with the rest of these. But I was like, what if I don't even begin reading them? You know you're not going to like that. That's fine. The back cover says like a heartbreaking triumph of like a thing. It's like, fresh from her divorce and her mother's death, you know, Barbara Carlin's back on the dating scene. You're like, you're not going to enjoy it. Yeah. If you're not in the mood for a heartbreaking You don't like little, you don't, that's not what you like. There's no vampires, there appears to be no quest.

You're not, no one's playing tennis. You're not going to like it. Just, just, and let it stay nice and clean and neat and give it to somebody who does like that sort of thing. Yeah. And for them to enjoy. Let it, let it, let it, somebody wrote it for somebody. All you're doing is standing in the way of those two people finding each other.

Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. There's going to be nothing left in my house. I'm going to get rid of them all. Yeah. Great.

Good. Replace them with one. as you want. Great. Love that. Love that for you. Thanks so much. You're so welcome. I'm real, genuinely a waiter has lifted off me. A waiter has lifted off you. He's been here the whole time. No, a waiter's lifted. Wow. Thank you, Stevie. I hope a waiter's lifted for you at home. We haven't done the like, uh, follow us on X. Oh yeah. It's sad. I think we were too sad because there's nowhere to follow anymore. All you can do is write to us. Yeah. With your frank stamp. We won't give you an address.

Yeah, so you're in a real mess. And you can write to us at Gmail. Nobody Panic, Podcast at gmail.com. We love your suggestions. We love to read your emails, your letters, your bits, your thoughts. Your bits. You want to read your bits. Send us something.

If you've got a book that you've loved, I'd love to hear it. If you think it's hitting vampire tennis, rich people, ooh, bit of a murder, could be. Yes. There's a plot. There's got to be a plot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then, yes, please, E-Mine. a goodbye and maybe put a book down this week.

You don't, it's not serving you. Put it down.