Nobody Panic - How to Structure Your Day - With Lolly Adefope!

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

This week Tess is joined by Lolly Adefope, (now wildly talented comedian, once living in a shed at the bottom of Tessa's garden) as they explore how to structure your day so you stop getting to 4pm without having got anything done and then crying in the M&S in Victoria station. It's a good one.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace. Single ladies, it's coming to London. True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At Kings Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. No, we've met. We have met.

We're sisters. Yes? Yes. Lollah used to live in my shed? I used to live in a shed, of course. Of course. Summer of Love. Such a good summer.

The Summer of Love. The summer that neither of us will ever forget. No, truly. Oh. And in the moment, we thought, this is really something here. Yeah. We kept saying to each other. Yeah.

We ate a lot of lunch. We had a lot of lunch. It was a very hot summer and we had a lot of lunch in the garden, just the two of us. Gorgeous lunches, gorgeous lunches. Gorgeous. Rose. It was sort of waking up, you know, sort of 10 o'clock.

Of course. Strolling down to the, and I'm going to call it a bodega. Wow. That's why I loved it so much, because you don't really get bidetas in Brighton. But it was, it was a gorgeous sort of deli shop,

small shop. You also had a wonderful hot food counter. Yes, it did. And when I say wonderful hot food counter, I don't mean like Whole Foods, hot food counter. I mean like, homemade, wonderful food.

Salads. Salads. Sues. And we would go there and we would fill up our little pots and we would buy a bottle of rosé. And we'd go home, we'd eat it in the garden. And we just kept saying to each other, this is special. This is so special. Oh, yeah.

You were writing your second Edinburgh show. Yeah. I don't know what I was doing. You were helping me massively with my second Edinburgh show. But why wasn't I going to work? Why was I just out of the garden all the time? Well, who's to say? Who's to say? I remember at once I was really stressed about the show

because I think I'd probably had maybe 10 minutes from material. Yes. Because we drank a lot instead of buying anything. And then you were like, okay, just improvise now. And we'll just do like an improvisation and we'll just see what comes in. And I did an improvisation of a call centre of someone on the phone to someone who works for a phone network. Yeah.

And then it was in. Straight in. Straight in. Didn't edit it. Yeah. That's your favourite bitch. Yeah, you're like, that's good enough actually, isn't it? It doesn't need it. It doesn't even edit.

So that's how it works. That's how easy is. That is it, guys. Yeah, yeah. Good time. For the summer. It's raining, of course, now as we speak. It's raining. It's the first of 10 consecutive days of rain. Are you joking?

No. You are joking. No. What do you mean? I'll show you. But I mean, who can predict the weather? Nobody. Certainly not professional meteorologists.

Absolutely not. Not them, that's for sure. So, welcome. in the today's episode, and I've been asking everybody who's been standing in for Stevie to choose their own topic. Sure. And Lolly has chosen. I was going to think of a joke one, but I literally couldn't think of one fast enough. Lollie has chosen how to structure your day.

Yes. Which I immediately responded to on a very physical level. Yeah. And I was like, you punch me the face. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. No. So, what Lollie's chosen as her topic.

Yes. How to structure your day. How to structure your day? Perfect. Beautiful. Thank you. It's maybe it's a bit niche. I don't think it's niche because even if you, no matter what your job is, I think everybody

struggles with getting enough done in the day. That's true. I don't think any person ever has not had a day when they got to 4pm and they're like, Jesus Christ, it's 4pm. Like, how's that happen? Yeah. What's... And I've just working up.

Yeah. Or like, even if you are working an office or you work at a factory or you work at the mill or wherever you work, you've had days where you're just like, How did I get nothing done? I've been here all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. How have I achieved so little? This is mind-blowing.

And what particularly inspired you to want to talk about it? I think it's the fact that the day that you asked me what my topic was, I think I woke up at maybe 10 or 11, and I was just thinking about how, if I don't have something to do at a specific time and a day, I have no motivation to get up before that thing. So if I have a meeting at 1, I don't have any motivation to get up at 8.

because I don't need to leave the house until 12. But I feel like it would be so useful to use that time. Like when you're filming something and then it's, you check with your watch and you're like, 9 a.m. Yeah. I've been awake for 12 hours. I've got so much done. Yeah.

I wouldn't be awake otherwise. For clarity for anybody who's new to Lolly's work, Lolly, what? Lolly is an extremely successful comedian. You can find her on Taskmaster, on QI, on Mock the Week. On QI I did actually have very bad period pain so it would be say very much But it's often used as a credit and I really would I hope people don't watch it back Oh sorry okay I wait references

Okay what happens don't watch her QI performance and this is why women shouldn't be allowed to be an important position of power Yeah because it might be Mency's day on the day of the summit Well this is madness oh sorry this is why I was saying people about you where everyone's like how is Lloyd just rising at 12 every day Lollies, you can find her on a host of different comedy shows, plus she's on shrill, which you can find on Hulu, which we can watch in the UK. No. Okay.

Not yet. Not yet. It's on its way. It's on its way, yeah. It's in the works. With Adi Bryant. Yes. It's a fantastic.

Miracle workers with Angel Radcliffe. Yeah. Can't watch that in the UK either. No, you can't have any of these. The Spy who dumped me with Milagunas. You can't watch that. Oh, the Alan Partridge. Yes.

Oh, bloody hell, Lolly. If anything, too much stuff. Sorry. Yeah, if you could, yeah. So, there are times, as with anyone in any job, where sometimes you're working very hard and you're very busy and you've got so much to do and then sometimes where you're sort of left more to your own devices

and you're on less of a sort of crucial deadline, you just have general stuff to do. And without that sort of impetus to get it done, it's very easy to let things, very easy to just be like, you got through the whole day and none of them got done. Exactly. If it's like 8pm and people are coming for dinner or whatever,

if you don't make the dinner, then people will come for dinner and you will at some point have to address the fact that there's no dinner. Yeah. But if you don't have anybody coming for dinner, it could easily get to eight and then I guess that's bedtime. Exactly. Just don't do it. Yeah, yeah.

So if you don't have any deadlines in your life, it's very, very easy for the structure just to collapse. Yeah. The times when I get the most worked on is when I have people coming over for dinner. And so I work from sort of five to, or seven the evening. And then I get a smash out two hours because I've got a cook dinner.

But apart from that, if it's just like into the evening, I'll just feel like, well, I go to bed now and I'm not doing the morning. And then nothing's got done. Okay, before we dive in deep, because I want to read you, I've got us some good stuff. Oh, great. We want to talk about some things.

Let's begin with your adult thing. My adult thing, yes. Okay, so what I did. And Lotties had a small spiral about this and got ourselves very upset that it might not be. good enough. I think any adult thing big or small is. I think yeah, at its core it's great. It's what I did with it that isn't incredible. Fantastic. But what I did was, as many of us may

experience, you know, we've got the notes app, we've got lots of different lists on that app, we've got, you know, sometimes you might think in your head, I really want a great leather jacket. Yeah. I've never thought that. But I've thought about other things. Well, share one. I know leather jackets is one that is much more relatable. Than what? Why? What's that up there? What have you got? I, well, actually, this is very relatable. I want a good pair of blue mom jeans. Oh, don't we all? Yeah, yeah. And so that's a thing that's just sort of in the back of my mind. You've seen me in some, and then I went to a party. Oh, no.

And it was just after I'd got a personal trainer, and I'd had a little to drink. And I was leading a weights club. Where is the story going? I can't remember his house in that. You were leading a weights club. It was like an after party at someone's house and then the person who's house were in had weights so I was like lifting the weights and like showing off and being like, okay guys and this is another exercise you can do. Was anyone watching you or you alone?

They're about five people watching. Watching, joining in with the weights club. And I was like showing me of all the different things you can do and what muscles it like... Will anyone enjoying it or? Well the embarrassing thing is that I went to lift up one of the weights and it was way too heavy. Right.

But I did some squats and the jeans split. No. So those jeans were. you're talking about, they're gone. They've turned them into shorts, but... That's very funny. Yeah. Did everyone see?

I think they saw, but they saw my reaction. Okay, you got a laugh. Yeah, oh yeah. You got a laugh in the room and that's all we. That's the class of the jeans. That's my lesson. So sorry, so... So, for example, things like that

that, they're in the back of your mind all the time that you need, you know, a good mom gene, a good pair of white trainers. Of course. Or something like that. And then you also have, like, shopping lists. And all these things are all kind of in separate places. And what I did is I made a Google Doc that I called The Big List.

Yes. And it's just, it's split into lots of different categories, such as Home, which is like, hang up that painting in the living room. Put some hooks on the back of the wall, at the back of the door in whatever room. And then there's health, which is, ask the doctor about that spot on your arm, that sort of thing. and like cough like question mark all the good stuff yeah something might go away so it's not as urgent

and then clothes look for good mom gene yeah and so like sort of much more long term things like that and so I made the big list but then Google Docs are not the most user-friendly interface kind of want something that you can like tick things off easily

move things around like drop down menus that kind of thing rather than a Google Doc where it's quite manual. But it's a good stepping stone. I think that's so, I really contractulate you. And I also think we should make an app and that we should follow on with that niche. Yes.

That's like there is not a good, because I'm always Googling best to-do apps. Same. Same. I started using Google tasks, which wasn't awful, but it wasn't great. Yeah, and I've not found anything that gives you the thrill of like crossing something off with a pen and paper or whatever.

Exactly. I think they do that really well, yeah. I think so do. And also we think we'd have a little weekly notification that would pop up being like, congratulations, you did this, this, this, this, and we'd like keep back. A picture of us. And we'd be like, where to go? And or a little like, hey girl, you haven't done that thing.

It's been on here for four weeks now. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to do that thing? Yeah. Hey girl, not to nag. Not to nag. That's what it's called. Yeah, not to nag.

It'll be like with headspace where everyone is like really connected to the guy who talks. It'll be us. Yes. Yeah? Not to nag. My character might be quite pass-aggressive. I'd be like, sorry, sorry, it's me again. So we should interrupt.

Sorry, turn to wrap. Ooh, don't want to make a scene. You haven't done it. No, I won't. I'll be more supportive. Mine will be like, don't do it. No, I think we should reassess both of our characters. I think we should just be nice girls who encourage you to.

Yeah, yeah, totally. You can do it, that kind of thing. Yeah, you can do it. Yeah. Not to nag. Okay, so that can be found in all good app stores. And that's trademarked now. It comes out, uh, spring 2020.

Yeah. No, earlier, earlier. Put it on our, God's say. We've got to be quicker about this. Yeah, at least be ready in time for Christmas. People want to buy it as gifts. Cost $6.99. Yeah, yeah.

Pointless. No one ever buys it. Um, uh, what's mine? I, um, oh, I just came back from, uh, going away for a few days. No big deal and I only do my aunties love me

anyway and I came back and I unpacked immediately which is something I have never done in my entire life I would just leave that bag on the floor you've got to tell yourself to do it

oh you have to yeah I think it's the same with going for a run you just have to be like I'm not enjoying this but I just got to do it and then I just like basically as I was coming in the door I was like don't up. Yeah, exactly.

Open it up. Take them out. I just have to keep talking myself through the whole process. Yeah, yeah. Put them in the wash. And then I felt great after this. Because honestly, I could leave bags for months.

Oh, same. Yeah. Oh, we've all lived up of suitcases for months. Yeah. And then needed to go somewhere else was picked up again. Yeah. Probably something in there.

Let's go. Right. Structuring your day. Structuring your day. Let's begin by reading. Mark Wahlberg's daily stretch schedule. And it's very similar. And it's very similar.

I think we'll all relate. If you don't know Mark Wahlberg, to me, unfortunately, I think he looks exactly... Oh wait, is he the man in Ted? Yes. Oh, well, no wonder I thought they looked the same. I think he is. Yeah.

Because separate file in for Ted, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is. I just kept thinking, he looks exactly the same as the man in Ted, but he is the man in Ted. Yeah. Oh, great.

Yeah, he is. So I hope you got him in your mind. And Ted 2 and Ted 3. Of course. They hardly could cut him, couldn't they? No, no. I didn't know there was a two and three. Good?

Well, yeah. Never seen me. No, ever, any of them? No. Okay. But someone actually did buy me a Ted onesie. Did you enjoy it?

I haven't actually worn it yet. What, made you look like Ted? It's just sort of like a teddy bear onesie, I suppose, but it's made, it's like branded as Ted. From Ted. I actually does look very comfortable, but they gave it to me. the tomlitz or I haven't been a choice. Not to. And that was Ian who gave you.

Yeah, I don't tell it. I go again, I reckon. No, please go. Please don't tell it again. Okay, so here, Matt Wahlberg, bafflingly, and unprovoked by nobody, put this up online. And when asked if it was a joke,

confirmed it was not a joke. Yeah. And I bet he's exaggerated, though. He must be. Yeah. But he... Okay, what time do you think we begin? I don't think the day begins,

given that yours begins at... Yours begins at 12pm when you rise. Well, mine begins at 9, but it gets in bed at 12. Yeah. So yours is wake at 9, go back to sleep on and off. Yeah, look at phone, look at phone in bed till 12pm. Do email, so I feel like I'm working. Yeah, but...

Send one email, think that's done. Yeah. Stay there till 12pm. Yeah, yeah. Finally force yourself out of bed. Yeah. Scream because I realize it's 12pm and... And then rush, rush to whatever you're supposed to be doing that you should have been there hours ago.

Yeah. Why aren't you on time for it? Okay, so I think he starts at 4 o'clock. 2.30 a.m. What? I could easily still be awake. Absolutely. 2.30 a.m. wake up.

245 a.m. prayer time. I have a question. Already earlier. Can we just sort of jump ahead and find out what time he goes to bed? Did it say that? Yes, it does. Do you want to guess? 9pm? 7.30.

7.30 p.m. goes to bed. Yes. Bear in mind, this man has four children. And he works as well. It's extraordinary. So this must be like just, because you're like, this must be his, he's not filming, he's not on like, you know, because he could be on like the Graham Norton show. Yeah. He could be anywhere.

I think he has been. Exactly. He wasn't asleep there. Yeah. premieres. He's been out at stuff. He's been out. We've seen him in the night's time. It's the kind of like, when I have a free day, this is what I do.

It must be, but you can't go from, you have to be doing this every day. If you want to get in the morning, you have to be games. And like, I'm sorry, but when do they, when does he raise his children? Yeah. Who else, who is raising them instead of him? Are they, would they be asleep as well? They're small enough. Okay.

So they're all born, oh well, they could be, I don't know for sure how old as kids are. I'm not going to bed at the same time as your children. Yeah. Or if not before. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so 2.30 a.m. he wakes up. 2.45 a.m. it's prayer time. It's not clear what happens in those spare 15 minutes.

I guess it's sort of rubbing your eyes. Rubbing your eyes and considering why you're awake. Yes. Just really rethinking, you're being Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. 240. 25 a.m. prayer time. 3.15 a.m. breakfast. All right.

340 till 5.15. So that's an hour and a half. Is that right? Yeah, an hour and 35. An hour and 35. Workout. 5.30 a.m. post-workout meal. So he's been away.

He hasn't eaten for three hours. 6 a.m. he gets in the shower. 7.30 a.m. out of the shower. So 6 a.m. shower. 7.30 a.m. golf. What is he skipping out? What is going on here? So then 7.30m. is at golf.

8 a.m. he does a snack. 9.30 a.m. He gets in the cryo chamber recovery. Could be anything. Is that that floating thing? I think so. he hasn't on his house. Wow.

Ted 2 obviously made a lot of money. 10.30 a.m. it's a snack. 11 a.m. till 1 p.m. And I'm sort of waking up here. Yeah. And 11 a.m.

Lollie's rising. So he's on the call with Lolly. Yeah. And he's now been awake for 10 hours. He's waking me up. And Lollie's ready to start the day. 11 a.m. And these are some slashes here between 11 and 1.

So two hours. Family time slash meetings slash work calls. Right. So the family time. They're all at the same time. Some of the kids are at school, so who's he having the family time with? Yeah. Then 1pm is lunch, 2pm more meetings slash work calls.

3pm pick up kids at school, so some of the kids are school aged and leave at 3pm. 3.30pm, 4pm workout number 2. 5pm, it's a second shower for Mark. Sure. 5.30pm is dinner slash family time. Of course it is because what's happening at 7.30pm? Bed time. So, what can we learn?

Okay, not to be a sort of poo-pooher of this. Do you think it's all made up? Because he knew it would go viral. Some of it must be made up. Yeah. It does seem completely unsustainable. Yeah. But I think what it does tell us is that if you want to be somebody who truly gets into the habit of like really committing to being a routine, you have to be able to schedule your entire day like that and to take it that seriously.

And I know. I know. Yeah. But the thing is you've just got to make a choice between, firstly, it's like, just do the thing. that work for you, live your life, but you would not be asking for this particular topic if you did not wish for more routine. Yeah, I think I wish for more routine. I think what I would ideally want is a routine that works even if I'm doing different things. So like ideally my thing would be like, okay, wake up at eight and then the day starts. But if I have nothing to do,

I mean there's always not to do, but if I have nothing to do, I should, the alarm. will go off at 8 and then I'll be like, I don't have to get up though. Yes. So it's motivation to get up and do things. Okay, so let's put something in place that you, why do you want to get up at 8? Any reason? Like, can you think... I think it would just feel nice to have more structure.

Yeah, okay, so I think you've just got to be like, the getting up at 8, it feels nicer than the chaos feeling of being like, what have I done today? Yeah. But then sometimes, sometimes I'll, like, because, you know when you have a lion and then you don't even really enjoy it

because you're like, I shouldn't be having this line anyway. Yes, I know exactly how that feels. But what I've been doing in that situation is being like, the night before being like, you have worked so hard today, you're working so hard all week, tomorrow you're having a lion and you're going to enjoy it. Great.

So that I do that. And then I'm like, well, actually, I've quite enjoyed this one and I've deserved it. Okay, perfect. So then the structure goes up the window. So sometimes, I think it's totally fine to have the lion. Yeah. I think we can take your case

on a sort of case-by-case basis. Yes. And sometimes it's an alarm. But it shouldn't be. The alarm goes off, then you're woken up by it, then you lie in the bed still for the next three hours. Well, I think, okay, another thing that comes into it is, it's the big list.

So it's like, there was a point when I first moved into my house, there was a point where I needed to get a sofa and also sort of the Wi-Fi and also sort of counter-tax. And there was just so many things. So whenever I had like a spare house, hour I was like, well, I have 50 things to do. And all of them needs to be done. So I just spent like an hour trying to do 50 things.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, go on. So if I wake up at 8 o'clock and don't get out bed until 12, I'll probably be looking for the mom jim. You know, I'll be doing something, but it doesn't have a tangible, like, satisfying end. So you're saying that you do, do, you're doing things in the bed? Yeah, I'm doing things in the bed. Okay. But I don't feel you're doing anything. that reached a satisfying conclusion. Exactly.

Or made you feel like, yeah, that was a sensible use of the time. Yeah, I didn't like meet a deadline. No, I think it's like, because I think we're all guilty of as particularly this generation, but everybody increasing me, of not having like clear, like work and play. Exactly. Rather than spending four hours at a half-assed pace,

sorting something out, you could do it very quickly in half an hour. And then it's done. Rather than doing 50 things that day and doing a small bit of 50 things and feeling chaotic the whole time just get four things done. Yeah, and also I think get them done

and they don't have to be perfect. Yes. Because with the mom gene, I'm thinking, I could say the six months have been for mum gene or I could spend a week and get a fine mum June. I think your search is admirable

and can maintain, you can always be looking for the perfect mom gene because that can always be happening. you should be wearing a mom gene while looking. Exactly. So just get a mom gene. Yeah. Okay?

Yeah. And then get out there in the world. Yeah. And on the way, you've opened that up to the universe and on the way, the perfect mum gene will fall in your lab. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yes. So I think it's about like, so we've got to rethink our attitude, I think, to everything a little bit. But it is so, so easy with a telephone to be like, well, I'm doing something. I'm in the bed. I'm getting things done. I'm on A sauce. I'm business. I'm working for anything.

email. I'm waiting for an email here. I'm writing my to-do list. I've got loads going on. And that's fine, but it's obviously not fine in that this is, you know, you're not like, it's perfect. You know? Yeah.

Something feels right. There is a problem there. Okay, so obviously everybody will be waking up at different times and some people will have a nice solid routine that they always get up at this time. Because remember in Stylist, the magazine where they used to be that work-life balance thing at the back. And it was called Morning Latte to Lights Out and they'd interview like powerful

influential women. Right. About their day. Yeah. And I used to read them being like these are mad. Exactly. The alarm goes off at 745 and I'm up and I have a hot lemon and water. Then I eat a yogurt and I'm at my desk by 8 and they were always like so rigid. Yeah. And they would be like, I come home and see my husband and my dog, Robbie,

and have dinner is something simple like fish. Dinner is something simple like fish. And then... Maybe we watch a box set, but we're always in bed by 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who day is that... If somebody asked me what time my dinner was or what I had,

I'd be like, well, do you want to... When? Yeah, exactly. I think the issue, probably more than anything, than they're actually being an actual issue, is that when I picture everyone else's life, I picture them waking up in the morning, bouncing out of bed, having a shower, opening their wardrobe, which is 10 very neat, gorgeous outfits. They pick one out, they put it on, they go to work.

Yes. So I just imagine that everyone is so organised and structured. And then they come home, they have food in the fridge, they cook it. Whereas I'm like, I'm going to have 12, I pick up my clothes from the floor. Out of the suitcase. Yeah. My wardrobe is full of clothes that I don't recognise. you've never seen before

yeah I go to a meeting I come back on the way home I go through Victoria so I'm like maybe I'll go to Eminette and then I buy an ice bun yeah and a prawn and eat it on the move

then I get home then I think oh I want some cereal but there's no cereal in the house so I order cereal but it's not coming until tomorrow and I just picture that Everyone else is so sorted, but I don't think they are.

I don't think they are. So first I think there was a reason that like shares wardrobe in clueless. Yeah, is something else you haven't seen? I have seen them, yeah. But another example would be Dexter's Laboratory. Yes, but both great choices. Or even Wallace and Gromit getting up in his trousers.

I don't see it. Okay. We crave seeing that in the, we love the idea of it. It's a fantasy because we're obsessed with it. and there is a reason that it's everyone's fantasy. So I do think that firstly, it's, everyone is imagining that everyone else is good at it and nobody is, but also you can make some steps

to be a better, you can be that woman. To be closer to that woman. And I think the first thing is that you have to prepare for it the day before. Sure. So you need this element of like, what's my date rather than at beginning at 12? And you're being like, what am I doing today?

Yeah, yeah. And I span on a prawn. Yeah. Yeah, one thing is. that's very satisfying is on a Sunday looking to the week ahead. Okay, great. Perfect. Writing it all down. But then it changes.

Everything changes all the time. I think, okay, so let's imagine, let's begin our day the night before. Sure. We're trying, okay, so let's imagine we've managed to go to bed on time. It's Sunday night. It's Sunday night. Yeah. We've, we've, the sheets are clean. Yeah, gorgeous. There's a new outfit ready.

For Monday. Yes. Okay, let me write this down. Okay. I'll listen to the podcast. Okay. so write on your Google God See this is when

Not to Nag Because there's a section In Not to Nag Just called like big ideas Yeah Yeah yeah There's just like fun That's what I thought

I think Articles that you think like I'll read that one day Yes Yeah exactly And this is another thing Like say of all these bookmarks Of my tabs

How many tabs How many tabs Well I've cut down on Well no I say I've put down on tabs That's so many tabs But that's just from today But I like to have to have six tabs.

Okay. No more, but no less. But that's like put everything in bookmarks but I never look at the bookmarks again. No, you never look at the bookmarks.

Exactly. And whereas your Not to Nag helper would be like, hey, do you want to read this? Yeah. Got a spare five minutes. Yeah. And there'd also be a section

called, so when someone was like, have you heard of this podcast? You'd put it in the section. Yeah. And there'd also be one for for TV shows. Yeah. So next time you were like,

what should I watch? And you're like, someone told me about something the other day. Yeah. And then Not Tenag would be like, I think it was the bodyguard. Yeah, and Nottonab can be like,

Booksmart is out if you've got a free evening. Yeah. That kind of thing. And we can get money from Booksmart to fund it. Yeah. And there we go. It's all a Monday laundering experience. Yeah.

Okay, so the night before, plan outfit. Perfect. Well done. I already feel great. Okay, great. So the night before, you've planned your outfit. Yeah. And if you need to...

on the way you're going to go to the gym or you're going to do anything else, um, you, you put your stuff there. The typing actually might be quite, um, quite, quite, quite, quite loud. Right next to my time. Yeah, but, well done. Thank you. Okay, so I'll write them all down before you and send them to you.

Okay, great. So it's a night before, everything's clean, the outfit's there. Yeah. If you're going to the gym or you need to do a day-to-night transition or anything with a statement blazer and a necklace, those are there. Those are there, yeah, yeah, yeah. Backpack's packed. And that's another thing I do love to do.

I do love to pack the backpack. Perfect. So your backpack is packed. It's got your things in it. It's got your water bottle. Yeah. We've got keys, money, it's all in there. Yeah.

Everything's packed and everything you need. There's some snacks. Okay. Question. Yeah. What if I'm not doing anything that day? Anything at all? Anything at all?

No problem. Okay, so pretend you've got nothing on tomorrow. If that's like, oh my God, thrilling, I'm just going to lie in, do whatever, fuck about. If you're like, oh shit, I need to get all this stuff done. what am I going to do? Then the same thing applies. Like, the outfit's there.

Yeah. But now it's not a smart business lady. It's like, we're fell in trees. We're building a wall. Absolutely. We're painting this bit of a thing. I need to go to IKEA. Whatever it is, the outfit is still that we're ready.

Yeah. So we know, we've planned the day the night before. Mm-hmm. Then, where's the phone going? Where's your telephone going? The phone is going far away from my house. That's correct. Okay.

The phone has to go. An hour before bedtime. The phone has to go. Oh, okay. Yeah, so it's not just like, I'm ready for bed, oh, put the phone in the living room, sleep, it's an hour before. But my alarm is. No, get an alarm clock. Get an alarm clock.

Yeah. And you'll write that down. Yeah, I'll write that down for you. And send it. Because I was actually looking at alarm clocks. And now you can spend some time finding the perfect alarm clock, if you so wish. That's good take up time. Yeah, I know, but that's okay.

Get the right one. Yeah. But maybe in the meantime, just get any old thing. Yeah. Radio, I suggest, so you wake up to a nice thing. Yeah, yeah, definitely. But no phones. Okay, I see.

No phones. The phone is in the living room, you're in the bed. How long, and then when you wake up in the morning, the alarm, got the radio. Oh, there's an emergency? There is, okay, name one. Has the phone ever rung in the night with an emergency? No. No.

What if this is the one time that happened? We have got to get away from this what if thinking. Yeah, yeah. That's like, what if, what if someone needs me in the night. Yeah, sure. If you like, you can get a landline. Yeah, if I was so concerned, then we'd get a landline. Yeah.

And then that's how they would contact you in an emergency. Yeah, yeah. Okay? Might get a landline actually. Yeah, nice. Yeah, lovely. Get a landline. Yeah, okay.

If you need to get a burner phone or a pager or, you know, if it's genuinely worries you, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a phone that, get a Nokia Thirste-2-10 and be like, this is the number you call in an emergency. Yeah. If anyone needs to get hold with me, and you give that to your family. Yeah. And then you're like, peace of mind. Sure. Is that something that worries you?

Great. Great. Do you have that? A burn a phone? Yeah. No, I just... No, I don't do it. Phone in the living here. Sure.

I haven't done it. I'm really preaching here, but... No, but it's still useful. But I understand totally the emergency feeling. Mm-hmm. Which is like, how will anyone get me? But then I remember that no one has ever tried to get me. But it's an emergency.

It doesn't happen often. No, it does, but it's... You know, you just have to be like, no. That lives there. Yeah. Then, uh, we wake up. Yeah. whatever time that is.

And what time is that? It's whatever time works for you. But I do suggest... The issue is, if I want nothing to do, and I'm pottering around at home doing bits and pieces, my brain says, well, what's the difference between getting up at 9 and getting up at 11? It's a fascinating question.

And I think... Because you can do things quicker and you can do things slower. And so if you have, like, like what I was saying about the dinner, If I have two hours before I'm meant to go out and I have a deadline to this thing tonight, I'll be so productive. But if I had the whole evening to do something, it would probably take twice as long. And I would do the same amount of work.

Yes. So this is why we're breaking down the day. So firstly, think of those days where you've had to be up early for something, a flight or work or whatever. And it's got to sort of, you know, 10 a.m. half past nine in the morning. And you've been awake for ages and you've already got so much done. Or even like flown to another country or whatever. Yeah. when you get like a 4 a.m. flight and you're just like, oh my God, look how much stuff you can get done in the day. Yeah. And that's what's the thrilling part about being a morning, right, you know, managing to get up in the morning and like have structure.

But what also is important is it's not like get up, oh, I hear with the ambiguous things. It's like you've made the schedule the night before. Sure. You didn't have anything specific got. You don't have to be anywhere. It's like, this is why I'm going to get done. I want to paint that wall. I want to prepare this spreadsheet. I want to make this deadline. I want to write this article. I want to, whatever. Send that thank you. card, I need to buy that wedding dress, whatever the things are. It's literally like, you write to yourself, 8 till 8 a.m., wake up, 8.30 a.m. in the shower. Yeah.

9.m. breakfast, 9.30. Did I have to do this every night? Yes. Yes, because in the beginning, you're like, but then after a while it gets into routine. And where would I write this? On the not to nag app, of course. Or on just a piece of paper notebook beside your bed, so every day you just write down. Yeah.

So it's just a nice, like, it takes two minutes, you just write everything down. Yeah, notebook's nice. There's a notebook side the bed. Every day, what we're doing tomorrow, hear all the things. Yeah, great. And you don't make stuff up, so you don't say, like, rise at 6.30am, run eight miles, smoothie, if you've never done that. Because it'll be nine miles.

It'll be, because it's pointless, just lying to yourself. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just be reasonable. Yeah. And be reasonable, like how much time takes to get places. Yeah, yeah. Don't just say 9 a.m. Give yourself 45.

minutes to get ready not half now yeah give yourself the luxury give yourself that yeah exactly right but be clear like so when you're like oh it's 10 a.m where am i supposed to be now oh shit this is i'm supposed to be at this yeah and you get in the habit of doing the routine breaking it up yes throughout the day so it does not feel as monumental like oh my god there's so much day yeah yeah it's like here it we're doing our small achievable tasks yeah in our chunks perfect um you wake up the alarm the radio alarm goes off how long before you look at your phone half now one whole hour. But what if... No. What if what?

What if there's an important email? No, there's not. What if someone's outside the house? They're ringing the doorbell. Sure. They're knocking. What if... No, you're absolutely right. Yeah. So an hour. An hour. Okay, so an hour before bed, you put it away.

And an hour after you wake up. Yes. an hour. Wow. No, I mean, it can work. Yeah. And so therefore, you've spent an hour in the shower. Yeah, an hour in the shower, an hour maybe doing a workout, an hour.

Breakfast, yeah. Doing things that don't involve your phone. Yes. And fully committing to those things because at this point, you're just running down the clock, waiting until you can look at your phone. So you're going to get some stepped up before you can get that phone back. So you might as well crack on with it. Yeah.

And this is the whole important thing is being like, here are my work time, here is my rest time, here is my play. rather than blending into one so that you're doing emails on the treadmill, you're watching television with your family with your phone out and your laptop, triple screening and eating, being like, this is fine, this is the millennial life.

I'm having a great time. You're not having a great time. You're not. Your brain is just spending its whole time being like, what are we doing? What are we doing now? Oh, what are we doing? So it's never focused on anything

and you've just got to give it, no matter how much you're like, but I love double screening, triple screening. be like, no, you don't. Like, you've got to give your brain time to... I do love putting something on TV and playing Candy Crush on my phone. I think it's anything more soothing than that.

Okay. But that's all play. That's not... Yes. That's not... Yeah. Okay, what's on the television? Just something that I don't need to be completely focused.

Okay, I will tolerate that. Yeah. I'll tolerate it. Thank you. I don't like it. But if I love the show, then I'm focused. Focus. But something, if I just need to hear it, that kind of thing.

Yeah, just some background noise when you're playing kind of. Yeah, yeah. That's some downtime. That's nice. That's fine. We allow it. Thank you. Okay, you also want to factor into a day, 10 minutes of, and this can go anywhere.

Be the first thing when you wake up, last thing at night, in the middle of the day, 10 minutes of meditation. And if that makes you go like, oh, no. It doesn't have to be the calm or the headspace. I don't like either of those men very much, and I cannot get into it. It can be just, you put on some background noise, some well music, some white noise. anything that you are not actively focused on and you just sit for 10 minutes or you stand or whatever and you aren't doing anything else

and if you're like yeah what's the difference between that and sitting on the sofa or what's the difference between laying in bed doing it you don't have any distractions and you just had 10 whole minutes but you're just focused on yourself and your day and if you're thinking like what's time I've got stuff to do it's like no you don't

but my issue is that I'll be thinking about all the things I should be doing that's okay so just let them in okay I like to imagine and again I'm not an next expert on meditation because I can't really grasp it and I keep trying to go to classes I can't get it I can't get it at all yeah yeah but this is why I like to imagine imagine your mind any version of like I'm gonna use Miss Honey from Matilda but anything that you imagine as a

benevolent sort of like figure sure and you could use like oh grandmother Willow from Pocahontas or does it have to be from popular culture no it can be anything it could be person in your real life okay it could be anything or even doesn't have to be a person or or an animal or literally anything that is a benevolent person. Yeah, something that you're like that you would trust, you know? Yeah.

So a trusting figure. And so you, you close your eyes and you are checking out for 10 minutes and you can put the clock on if you want. And if you really worried about that you'll have amazing thoughts or something you need to do, you can put your voice memos on

so that you can just say it out loud and it's recorded there for you if you really panic about that. So put the voice memos on, 10 minutes, you close your eyes and you've got your well musical, you've got nothing, and you're just sitting.

And you're not trying to achieve anything, you're just sitting. And so then a thought comes in that's like, we should buy a new kettle. Like, I should get a new patio. Derek from work is the worst man I've ever met. Any of these things come in and your benevolent figure

like takes the thought and is like, thank you, thank you so much. Thank you, great thought as they would like a child running in from the garden. Sure. With like a stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for this stone.

That's lovely. and the child gives them the adult the stone and the child runs back away. So you imagine that. Your thought comes in, it's like, Derek's a piece of shit. And the benevolent of a figure is like, Derek is a piece of shit. And then let it go like a moon.

Just let it go. And if any of those thoughts are really truly vital, like, I forgot to call whoever, you can just say it out loud to your voice memo. Okay, great. And then it's done. And then go back to your 10 minutes just sitting. I love it.

Okay? Yeah, thank you. You're welcome. I can't believe this. That therapy. Thank you. You're welcome. But I think we're so bad at being able to think properly.

Yeah. Just don't know what to do anymore. We're so inundated with information everywhere that that's what our brains have become. We've just been too many tabs open in our brains. Too many tabs, yeah. And we're constantly like, I should, I should, I should, I should. Like, right now, I need anything. The only thing you should be doing is being still for 10 minutes.

And again, there's no like, it should be first thing in the morning. It should be last thing at night. It's like, whenever it works for you that you feel like. your best because everybody is different and everyone's doing their own thing. Okay, still on the phone for a second. Turn off your notifications. In the 10 minutes? No, no.

Separate your... All the time? Afraid so. What do you mean? If you really can send with like WhatsApp or whatever, you can keep that on, but I would turn off your Twitter and your Instagram and your Facebook notifications. So that only when you go on it? Yes.

That's such a close, yeah. So you can... And again, if you're like a doctor or whatever, don't turn off your notifications. People are paging you and you're busy people. like this is my time. You're like on call. But like you're not a doctor on call. Yeah.

Like you don't need those WhatsApps. Yeah, yeah. This second. I think I keep WhatsApp and email. Yeah. And messages. But maybe like mute that Hendo thread or whatever.

Like. Oh, I've muted on threats. So you don't need it like this second. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And now is my time to go on it and check it. Yeah. So like turn off your Twitter notifications.

Like go on it. Check. Yeah. Like come away again. Yeah. Otherwise it's a constant like Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

What I was doing there was just grabbing at Lolley's knee. Like a constant call for your attention away from yourself. Okay? Yeah. So getting into your morning routine that you've got your hour before you're even allowed to look at your phone, whatever, everything you do in the morning. What you want to try and do is make that routine the same thing every day. So it doesn't matter if you have to get up at 4 a.m. or 8 a.m. or 12 p.m. Like you try and get into the same routine.

So when you start the morning, you're already like, and we go. And this is what we do first, and this is the next step, and this is the next step. so like you're just sort of as though you're an autopilot and then there's less of that waking up and being like and now what? Yeah

and be clear when you write your list the night before you've clearly written down where your meals are so you're like this is when breakfast is happening this is when lunch is happening these are the snacks so that you don't end up in

Marks and Spencer's eating an ice bun with one prod not because you shouldn't be allowed to eat an ice burn but because there is a difference between enjoying an ice burn in the middle of the day or whenever.

And eating an iceband for dinner. And eating an iceband for dinner in tears in the M&S in Victoria Station. I'm missing your train. I'm missing your train because you're wandering around being like, what am I doing? And then eating an ice band

before you even get to the checkout and then handing over the empty wrapper. Sticky wrapper. Sticky wrapper and being like, I'm sorry I ate it. And this problem please. We've all been there. And so the more that you can try and step away from that, which only happens because you get overtired

and you haven't thought through your structure of your day at all. And you just let it all get over top of you and you've achieved nothing. That you're trying to step away from that person. We're basically, we think that we're capable of, because we love dopamine so much, which is the feeling that comes in when you get a text, when your emails come in,

when you're, you're, basically it's your need, you're the feeling of being needed. And the feeling of like attention and things and stuff and it's a, it's a, oh, I'm going to have a chocolate, oh, I'm going to have this. Yeah. They are such, we're really thick with our dopamine because we love it. We're absolutely a, addicted to it.

And it's such a short-term hit, and it affects us so badly in the long term. Yeah. So that is why we love, you know, the sweet, sugary rush of a WhatsApp notification. Yeah. Like, somebody needs me, somebody wants me. There's something for me now.

Yeah. A gift. It's a sweet, sweet gift. But you've got to try and be like, no, I'm trying to move away from dopamine spikes and troughs, and I'm trying to get onto a more even, solid keel. Yeah, yeah. So I'm coasting in the middle here rather than the highs and loads.

Yeah, yeah. absolutely um and also it's by like just not um so making your own routine making your own schedule the night before every single night writing in your notebook trying to stick to it as best you can planning the whole thing out knowing where your meals are here's your outfit here's your clothes for the next day and doing that every night before you go to bed which seems tedious but you'll get right into the habit of it yeah yeah um and and also knowing that it's not that everyone's day is different and everybody's personality is different and what works for you might not work for everybody else yeah um and knowing yourself um and yeah those are all um and that's um that's all the things

for me i hope it was helpful it was wonderfully helpful oh thank you so much i'm already excited got a notebook here perfect beside the bed yeah i can write me ready to write it down for the next day yeah gorgeous gorgeous if you are um a person who has to go to office every day um and you have more of a you want to break down that routine for yourself throughout your working day and so it's like nine till ten

you replied to yesterday's emails 10 to 11 it's this and then give yourself like a long lunch break and find that space in the middle of the day that's like and now I don't do anything yeah and you go for a walk or you go for lunch or you put your phone down and you leave you walk away

there are infinite studies on the benefit of walking away from the office or having lunch outside of the thing even though you feel like you're... I've got to say, you're doing stuff, you're not, you're not. Yeah, totally. It's this quantity quality bullshit. Yeah, you've got a break.

Girl, you've got a break. Is it? Yeah. Is it cool girl, you've got to break. I think there's a sister app. Yeah. That's the motivational. You've got a break, that kind of thing.

Yeah. Not an ag is getting stuff done. Yeah. And then sometimes you need to use the app, which is... Maybe it's part of the whole thing because it's the understanding that to get stuff done,

you also need break. You also got a break. For you to be firing on all cylinders. Yeah. You've got to, you've got to refuel. You've got to, you wouldn't just let the plane fly until it crashed. You'd be like, let's break here. We can get further if we stop and be better and run and stop and be better, you know, rather than just run it till it's empty and then get a new plane, I go.

So yeah, in the middle of the day, take a long break, consider it like a siesta, even though you don't actually go to sleep. Yeah. Be like, you're mentally checked out for a bit. Yeah. you know, so yeah, if this day is you just doing things around the house or if this day at the office, it's the same thing of like, when will I achieve this, when will I achieve this? And don't just say, finish three spreadsheets by end of day. You know, it's like, can you do that?

Manageable. Yeah, like, how long will it actually take you? Yeah. What time will you do it? When will it be? When is this meeting? Be honest with yourself. Be honest with yourself.

Yeah. And if you can't do it, you know, put your hand up and say, having looked at my schedule and done my routine, I know I can't achieve this. Yeah. Rather just being like, fuck it, plow on. And adapt from the day before. Absolutely. Exactly.

See if you, when you write down your notes for the next day, be like, was there anything we learned? Like, what did I achieve? What took longer? What took longer? What took longer? Yeah. Well, that. Good thing.

Well, done. Girl, you did a break. Yeah, I hope that some of that was helpful. I hope you can take some of these messages away with you. If you have any routine suggestions that have really helped. you do get in touch we love we love we love it communication we love dopamine I can love it when they go off she's switching notifications back on I'm not I promise but I do we do love reading your emails and love your tweets the email is nobody panic podcast at gmail.com the

Twitter is nobody panic pod at nobody panic pod my Twitter is at tessicote's Lollies is at Llanafope and it's got itself a blue tick it's got a blue tick you know you just apply for Yeah, but I want to be given it. I applied. Okay. I don't know if you get given it. Oh, no, some people do you get given it. I just want to be giving it like a Nando's black card, you know?

I've applied for an Instagram verification four times, and every time I've been declined. Oh, fuck them. Yeah. I'm so sorry to hear that. Thank you. You should do How to Get a Blue Tick. How to Get a Blue Tick is the next episode. Yes, she's also on Instagram and anything exciting coming up that you will.

can tell people about? Going to America to film Shrill Season 2. Amazing. But we could never watch it. You can't watch it unless you torrent it. Yes, have an illegal torrent. Yeah.

How to an illegal torrent will be the next. Yes, that's the next one. Thank you so, so much for joining us. I hope you have a really well-structured, good day. I hope it's good regardless of the structure. And look after yourselves, eat well, take some care. I hope you get lots of things done, stay productive, and see you next week. Bye!

Bye.