Nobody Panic - How to Survive the Winter

Episode Date: December 3, 2019

Now is the Winter of our discontent. Perhaps ‘Winter is your season’ and you love the cold, but if not and you’re miserable the moment it gets dark at 4pm, this one is for you. Stevie (recently embraced Winter) and Tessa (whisp-like child of Summer) attempt to shelter and guide you through the metaphorical snow storm.Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. I'm Stevie. I'm Desa. And you can expect more of this sort of bardinage.

The podcast continues. This vibrant, witty, sparring charisma. Here it comes. It's slow today. It's cold. It's cold. It's winter. Winter is coming.

Winter is coming. Winter is coming. I'm a very much winter person. And I despise it. Yes. I hate it above all things. I grieve the light. There was a point, I think, like,

three weeks ago where we're doing a recording and Tess was like, we finished it and then all the rain was started and she took that sound and was like, oh, it's the time again, it's the time again where I never wear enough clothes. It's like, I don't. I get it so badly wrong and all I do is just put on too many layers of summer cotton. That is an accurate description. Yeah, I'm just wearing hundreds of layers. It doesn't matter how much summer cotton you layer, it still doesn't count as winter clothing. No, no, no. You're just wearing a lot of dresses. Yeah, like, yeah.

There was a point where I think you used to wear like two dresses and like... A pair of trousers once I came to... Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes. I hate it.

I hate it. You get better at it. Yeah, I am getting better at it. Because it happens twice a year. I mean, it happens once a year for half the year. No, I do know. Right, okay. Todd.

Good facts. Why do you like it? I don't like, I don't like it or dislike it any more than summer. I used to hate summer. Okay. Great. Whereas I became my full Pokemon in the summer. Yes, you are, you really do like summer.

She's like a, I don't know, you always find like a little patch of sun and you just sit in it regardless of what you're doing. It's really very nice. And also, I think a lot of your clothes, I think actually, you know what? I think it's very much down to clothes to me, which I hate to say.

Because I like to think that I've got more to myself than that. But haven't, I haven't. That's a shame. It's a real shame when you find out you're so really shallow. Yeah, I'm superficial. As a person. But I think I find,

I used to find it incredibly difficult to dress myself in summer. For the same reasons that you find in winter, just the exact opposite. Yes. I just didn't know what to do with myself. I feel like I always get it wrong in summer, whereas in winter it's like,

just put loads of clothes on and you're fine. And also I also wear black all the time, and that really comes into its own in winter. Yes, that's your time. Because in summer... It's your moment to shine. Apparently, fashionable Italian women, where black in...

No, I was going to say black in summer and white in winter, but it's not. It's black in winter, and it's white in summer. So that's not really a cool thing to find out, is it? Because that's just exactly what you think it was. That's what you'd expect, really, isn't it? But yeah, I just, I don't like being cold, but I think I can adequately make myself not cold.

Also, I'm quite dark as a person. That's so good. My heart is quite dark. Whereas I hate it. And instead of being like, instead of remembering any of the things I've learned, the last 25 winters I've attempted, you know. I was going to say, wow, you're just saying you're 25.

I wasn't. I was trying to work out the age that which I probably, you know, was like conscious of the season change. Someone who wasn't dressing me, you know. Yes, I understand. Because I didn't, you know. Oh, you didn't dress yourself as a baby. No, famously.

There's no shame in that. Never be ashamed. So yeah, if you're listening and you're like a summer person, send this to, send this to someone who sort of becomes a kind of, a little ghoul during the winter months. Yeah, Stevie has a picture of me where I look exactly like Gollum. Yes, you do, actually. And that's how I used to rock up to like social events.

Oh, like. It was a party. Yeah, it was a party. Yes. And I'm just like, fuck it. I'm not. Because it's winter, I'm going to presume that no one else knows how to dress. And I'm just going to wear 17 things.

And that's, and that's, I'm here now. And I'm here now. What more do you want? I've got out, I've managed to get through the weather in order to get here. Yeah. I do feel like in, actually, because I also feel in summer, whenever I arrive somewhere, just like with winter, but just for the opposite reason, whenever I arrive in summer, I'm too hot and I'm furious.

And in winter, I feel like I've just really just got through something. Like, quite difficult. I've managed to get through the weather in order to get here. Yeah. So, in honour of House Stark... How to survive winter? Because we're just presuming you're all going to die. No, it's just...

No, because their words are, winter is coming. Winter's coming, so you've got to prepare. So prepare. Actually, it's here, it's come. It's here now. It's December. You've missed the preparation bit, so this is very much, get on board as quick as you can. You've fucked.

You've fucked it. But it's got a few more months, so try your best. Before that. What's your adult thing, though? So quick. actually from Debbie. It was about, it's in reference to the making your house a home. Nice. And about carpets, whack down a rug.

Oh, okay, great, yeah. But she was saying her tip is actually, get one of those bits of underlay out of a skip. Debbie's tips are always out of a skip. It is always out of skip. Once she did get, you're not allowed to get in skips. That is not a thing that's both frowned upon, but actually illegal now to get. Oh no, I fully know that. It feels like that's a real, like, thing for the Coates family, but I really...

Oh, I didn't discover that until a few years ago when I was like... That's what I'm saying, because he mum's in a skip, all. all the time. Yeah. But when she got in the big industrial skit, it was in the car park. And she had to call. And she turned to Spider-Man.

No, she had to call my dad to come and get her out of the skip. Like on the telephone. That's... And she was not Spider-Man. That's how, you know, the penguin is made or the Joker is made, whatever.

So that Debbie's now radioactive. No, but I guess her power is that she can spot a good bit of wood in a skit from 40 bases. What was she going to use the wood for? Oh, Stevie. That's not ever clear. it just goes in the pile of good wood because, oh, if you've seen good wood, you've got to get the good wood.

It's like living with steak. Like when you got the Lader Hosen for children and you're like, oh, well, I'll find a use for it. Of course. I cannot think of a way you would ever use a child's laser laden. Who among us was not buy antique leather ladenhozen? Me!

Because when you bought it, I was like, I don't, it was very cheap, it was like 50p. They live on the wall, and every day I look at them, they bring me joy. I put them beside the antique ice gates from the time of the city. century, so they're in the sort of winter sections, Stevie. Anyway, the tip was, I stood on the carpet in the front room and said, gosh, that feels lovely. And then she went, it's got underlay under it.

And that is both a winter and general adult thing that if you find that cheap carpet underlay, firstly, if you don't want to get it out of a skip option, they are very, very cheap. Really cheap, I don't know why she was in that skip, they're like $3.99. Exactly. Debbie, get out of the skit. Can we cost your dad more money to go and get her in the country? That was a different time. Okay. This one she got out, no problem.

In and out, pop in, get the underlake. If you double up as well, suddenly it goes from just being like a crap rug that you got from wherever to being like, oh my God. Am I a millionaire? This is luxury. Brilliant. And that's also like a great winter tin. And also a fantastic winter tip. Amazing.

Get your winter underlay. I mean, as ever, mine's really short. Mine was short. No, it wasn't. Because we started talking about good wood. And that's where it happens. Whereas I just stick to the story because I'm not a gifted story show. Oh, you are.

I just say things like, I've become, I've become a business, Tessa. What have you done? I've actually. I'm now a business. Shut up. I tried to get my accountant to cut, it'd be like, Stevie Martin Corp,

but she's like, no. What did you go for? I think it's just Stevie Martin. Limited. Oh, limited. Yeah. I went to Tessa Coates Enterprises. Yes, I heard this.

I am. But that was not approved by an accountant. Well, there we go. And that's very much a solo venture. I thought you added that because I think people are always like, wow. And it's like, no, again, you can't do that. Tessa just tried to do it.

If you just put it down on the thing Then you get rejected Yeah That's brilliant So your business I'm now a business As of I think today But being a business is so much more

So much more legwork Which is quite annoying You got all those employees Like VAT I've done VAT returns every quarter Yeah Do you really?

Well like my accountant I think basically We have to have a video call Because she can send me an email And I was like I don't understand Literally any of the words You've written

Apart from where I've seen my own name And I read it so many times I couldn't have understood it less. So I'm a new business, I'm very much like a startup, and Desa's not taking a photo of me. It should look very powerful. I love very powerful. It says move further away. I'm a new

business. Let's get on with the bloody podcast. So winter, I hate it, I absolutely hate it. Now, it's wet, it's cold, everyone's miserable. But it's Christmas. Are you one of those people that would like to spend Christmas in a hot country? A hundred percent and I've I've been... That's not Christmas! I've been angling for that for the last five years. But no one wants to go because it's This year as close as we got to going to Hawaii.

Okay. Vitoed. When I was 12, I took part in a school debate about this house. It was like this house would ban Christmas or something. I mean, what a pathetic debate. I know, right? Shut up. Shut up.

Anyway, I spoke against the motion. The other house was saying like, it's too commercial. It's a stress. It's so much money. It's like, it's a build up for six months. It has to be. And I was saying like, it's joyful. It's wonderful.

It's magic. It's all of these things. And I do remember very, very, very strongly feeling it. And I think so when I was, a kid and so to credit to my parents and my extended family that as a child my experience of Christmas was it was magical yeah same absolutely magical but now as I get older and we don't have any more children left at the youngest cousin is now 15 like no one's but also it's a too disparate age to everyone to be like let's just drink you know like okay I'm gonna say that was what you

should do but exactly but it's too different you know despite me for the last okay four years on the trot I've attempted to wheel out eggnog heads oh you've told me about this so now there's my mom Got them out very recently. Put up the bottle of Advocard on the table and was like, do not buy any more advocat. Because I know what you're doing. Because look in this cupboard and there was so much advocates. So obviously every year I've been like, oh, go, get that in for eggnogheads.

And then no one will play with me. So no one wants to play any of my games. No one wants to do that with me. I've definitely lost morale for Christmas. This is the start of a film where then a poached egg visits you at the night. A poach deck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

The first goes to Christmas and the Popper Christmas Carol. So yeah, exactly. I'm it. I'm a shrew about it now. And so I need to return to my hometown, be visited by a sexy woodcutter from my past. And then he gives me a hallmark movie, you know? And then he transforms my vision of Christmas. I'm screwed at the moment. But I truly believe I can make things magical again.

Now, what I found, I mean, this is not the podcast topic. But it's sort of is, isn't it? Because if you're so wrapped up in it. If you don't like winter... Because it is what people say when you say, I don't like winter, people say, but Christmas. Yeah. And if you say, I hate Christmas. Then you've got nothing.

I went for a drink with someone who literally said that. The debate is over. And this house wins. Yeah, I went for a drink with somebody who said, yeah, I hate winter. And I was like, yeah, but Christmas. He was like, no, I just hate Christmas. And that was like, it was the end of the conversation. And it was really like, oh, should we get lunch?

Drink, lunch. So I will tackle it by saying that I had the same sort of thing for like, maybe like a couple of years of, I didn't hate it, but I was very much like, well, the buildup was so fun. And then the actual Christmas experience can be quite stressful. I always feel like I should be having more fun than I am. or I'll be like, I'll feel sort of new adult levels of like, should I be getting so many presents?

You don't think you're like, mom and dad, you don't have to give me presents. Each year I'm like, don't give me presents. I'm 31. I'm fine. I please. And then they're like, oh, but we're going to. I'm like, I'm sorry. Then I feel really bad.

I'm like, guys, you didn't have to. Which is a very privileged problem to have. Too many presents for the Lord. Okay. But the point was that it was still a nice environment. I wasn't, what I'm trying to say is that, I hadn't had a like a traumatic experience or whatever. There's no terrible like, I was still very much into Christmas.

Dad walked out on Christmas day. Exactly. Or just my parents don't love me. This only comes from a place of stress. Yes. Hundreds of people have terrible Christmas experiences. I think probably more people have terrible Christmas experience than the not almost. Yes.

And so plenty of them are completely valid. But what I would say is that I've found it helpful to be surrounded by people as well who are in that situation. Maybe don't have any parents left and have had deep, sadnesses around that season and I've never really enjoyed it to then suddenly start enjoying it again because we're starting to like put in little new traditions

that are just silly and fun and then it's the exact same thing with everything if the idea of Christmas to you isn't nice then if you make it then think what you would like it to be and obviously I think what would make you cheer you up about it and then just like dive into that so if it is literally like well I really like I hate Christmas I really like the Christmas parties then

that's Christmas to you So then your Christmas is actually the month of December when every weekend is hot, hot parties and socialising. And so then you do like Christmas. So then I think it's like you can make it what you want it to be. Of course, the day you can't, because that depends on your family and your situation. But that doesn't have to be Christmas to you.

It can be like just a time of joy in December. I think we all need it. And I think if you can make your own joy. And that's the same with winter. That's really lovely, Stevie. But then unfortunately it's January and there's no joy. to be had and that's where winter really kicks in. I don't hate January so much but just that to me is like we're on the out here.

Okay. I hate January because I feel like well now there's no joy. Ah, because Christmas's gone for you. Yes. So what I found, and to finally get to a tip, what I found is because it's clothing based for me, I just have to make sure that I really like all of my winter clothes. And that doesn't mean expensive. It just means like, so I go to charity shops and get like massive, cozy jumpers and think about,

you know, those like Instagram profiles that are all. like girls in toasty little woolen socks and they're by a fire. I don't look like those girls, I don't have a fire and they also seem to be surrounded by lots of like sort of low hanging beams. It's quite hard to do. But what I can do is like get, so I've got like a nice big like thing

that I wear when I like want to feel like that. If I'm feeling a bit sad, I'm like, I'll put my big blanket around me. And they get all toasty and nice. And I think if you are prepared for what winter is, rather than like fighting against it all the time, it's cold and dark. Like, yes, I know it's cold and dark. That's what winter is. Yes, lean in. But you can now see a beautiful full moon when you, like, walking home from work, which you didn't...

You can light a roaring log fire. Candles look better now. Really reaching bottom of the barrel there. I am, but... Candles look better now. Okay, so in summer, you to get quite annoyed because the candles will only really come into their own at about 10.30pm, and I'd be like, well, watching TV. 4 p.m. 4 p.m. Get home. Candles on.

A wreath is nice. A wreath is nice. Street lights are nice. Street lights are nice. Think of yourself. You just have to not pull against it. Yes, you're right. I've been pulling really hard. Good winter boots. Yes. You cannot scrimp on that.

Number one thing comes from Tom Coates himself. Okay. Stop wearing my trousers, Stevie. Yes. I said that every time he's say Tom. He's got other strings to his bow. Yeah. It's not his quote, but he likes it.

There's no such thing as bad weather. There is only inappropriate clothing. Someone said that to me last week in Penn's Ants because I arrived after a rainstorm in like a faux fur coat looking like a wet bear. And they said that and I wanted to punch them. Absolutely. But also, I like it.

He's probably said it in a very helpful way, as in his to prepare. It's not helpful if the person is already in the inappropriate clothing. No, not helpful. That is the least helpful thing to say. Real bad. At the beginning of the day, that's when we say it, Tom. That's when we say it, Tom. Again, you don't have to spend loads of money on winter boots,

but spend more money than you would, for example, I would go to charity shops and buy winter boots. And then what would happen is they were like, winter boots are very much molded to someone else's feet. Yes. So I'd just bleed a lot from the foot. Gross. And then I'd have a hole in it because it's from a charity shop, so it's not actually, it's been already worn and that's why they put it in the charity shop. And then also then I'd like slide down hills in snow because there's no tread.

You will know what was my instinct to put on my feet. What do I normally wear on my feet? Oh, a light blue sort of low hanging converse with the soul, crucially. Flapping. Can flapping. Flap and also trainer socks. So the socks that go back until her ankles just bare and it's like snowing. Genuinely, my instinct today was to put on the converse.

And then I said, no, no, no. And lo, what have I got on? These, I think, are almost as old as the podcast. Oh, great. Oh, yes, that was when we first started. When we very first started, I bought these, and it was a huge day for me. I'm currently wearing these black Timberland boots

that were certainly expensive. I certainly was thinking, I haven't got this money. I'll stick to these converts. Then I was like, for God's sake, girl. And honestly, it was transformative. Oh, my God, yeah. It was, I'm in.

I could absolutely do anything in these. I have been told to stop wearing them to meetings because they are like a, they're a workman's big black boot. But they are amazing. They're not the most unfashionable things in the world. They're great. They're quite trendy.

They roll down a bit if I want a bit of a bit of a judge. Okay. Tip, tip, tip, tip two. 40 minutes in. Roll down your boots for a bit of a chudge. Sorry, winter. It was just a little of life tip. I think we've got it.

You know what? You've judged it. Truly, truly, truly. I did my research. Oh gosh, I've got one. One sock on. One trainer sock and one green slitherin' knee high. So, listen, it looked fine until you raised that leg

And then I was like, what have you done? Oh, God, this is early winter for me, so I'm only transitioning in. Okay, yeah, I've not got a bra on and I've got just layers and layers of course. I was going to say, and you've come in wearing monochrome, she's got like a nice white monochrome, which is a good step. But then, otherwise it's just... Go to Uniglo and get Uniclo. They have heat tech tops, which are like little polar neck tops that are... They come in a pack that looks like space.

Yeah, but they're not too tight, which is good. I don't know what the sizing's like in Uniclo, so apologies if it's not going to feel like plus size people. I have no idea. I've got one that I got in a charity shop, so I need to buy a fresh one. And I have four that I got, they were doing a quiz, and if you...

Uniclo. Yeah. So, and they do do that most years. So when you're walking past, check if there's a quiz on, because you used to win a free heat tech. If you did the quiz. Whenever you go past a Uniclo,

just go. Just pop me at the door. I'm sorry. It's a quiz. 10 number three. Just check it as a quiz. Just anywhere. Because there might be a quiz on.

I think it's a banger. Okay. There was this quiz on and they said like if you can answer this question about heat, you win a heat tech. I think you've trumped. There's a quiz on because you might get some heat tech. But also you can get really good like leggings that you put on underneath your leggids. Essentially long johns.

I've only just started wearing thermals like last winter was the first one. I was like, I'm always cold. I just solved it. I thought I had a joint problem and I went to the doctors and they were like, you're cold. And I'd been buying like cod liver oil tablets and buying all these vitamins and stuff. And they were like, you're cold, mate. And I was like, oh, right. Is it because of these wearing these cotton canvas shoes?

And Tessa was obsessed with their cuffs and putting cuffs on things to keep her wrists warm. Yeah. But then like, would be wearing light converse. And a sheep, I was obsessed with this sheepskin cuff. Sheep skin cuff. And sometimes I would say to people, oh, your hands are warm, can you hold me? Can you hold my hands? Can you hold my wrist? And everyone would be like, okay.

Yeah, yeah. And I think the tip there is if you've got a cold wrist and ask people to hold your wrist. No, just get more clothes. Get the layers on. Layer up the body, layer up the core. And if you're worried and you're like, layers comes like color clashing and you're like, just go black or white or grey. And then you're fine. You're just fine. You can wear whatever you like in whatever order. That's not true. Where you trousers as a hat. wear your sock on your face. Wrap them round. If it's black or white, you're fine.

It seems like a fashion episode. I'm trying to rhyme my word with white. It's shite or white. It's right. Great. Your arms will look after themselves. Keep your trunk. Not as it for the elephants, isn't it? Keep your core warm.

That is good advice. No, it is good advice. I just think of everything warm. I actually did have some actual tips, which was just really quickly, because no one will say the actual tips. No, sure. Vitamin D is very essential supplement in winter.

So, I mean... Boring. No, I know, but just like, it's very useful. It's very important. And because you're not doing as much sunlight and there isn't any... There's not a lot knocking about. I've got a vitamin D deficiency, for sure. Do you?

Zinc as well is very good. How do I get so? Just literally go to Holland and Barrett and be like, or just super drug or whatever they do there. Oh, right. Whatever they do the cheapest vitamins. Oh, just, you know, fatty fish. Oh, yes.

What is a fatty fish? Because to me, it's always like, I'll put on a bit of holiday white. Would you eat me? I'll be helpful in the winter. No, it's tuna. I'm bulbous. I'm a baldless fish. tuna, mackerel.

Love me. Salmon. Sorry, tuna, mackerel, salmon. Salmon. So fish? Yeah, well, that's not all the fish, is it? That's the fish, baby. Cause not on that list.

No, you're right. So fish and chips doesn't count. Oh, wow. Which is in winter, all you want to eat, right? And then also, some foods are fortified with vitamin D, like orange juice, soy milk and cereals. Oh, you can, oh, just tuck into some beef liver. I mean, sure. Egg yolks, I mean, I guess I mean egg, but some people don't eat the yolks of egg.

I don't know. What are you doing? Eat the yolk, guys. Oh, people love an egg white. Yeah, I know, but it's also they've proven that egg-oics aren't bad for you now, so you're just an idiot. Sorry, eat your yolk.

Unless you're vegan and they don't. But I will stand by, eat your yolk. I'm going to stand by that unless you're vegan. You can't eat the white then. No, unless you're vegan, then you don't have to eat the yolk or anything. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, that's someone just doesn't eat eggs.

Do you want to fight? Shut out, you goddamn now. Yeah, go on. Go on. That's my vitamin tip. And then my other tips are, so this is from the NHS. Who? Which is the National Health Service.

Make sure, just keep an eye on the fact that if you haven't been outside at all in daylight, you're going to be feeling terrible. So do try and just go outside. Even if, like, that's more for people who, I guess, are working. Have a job that starts early and late, yeah. So go outside for lunch for your lunch hour. Or just, even just for like half an hour, it's so much, it will really kind of help you with your circadian rhythm and just your general well-being.

A banker friend in the days when people were less sort of up to speed on not letting their employees go completely mad. Or I guess they knew they were doing it, but who cared? A banking friend was beginning work at like 5, 6 a.m. in the winter. So going to work before the sun came up, worked in a windowless place where they had no clocks because they wanted people to, you know, just work. And then we'd leave at like 8 o'clock, 6, 10, a clock at night again, into the darkness. So just lived in like perpetual.

Like, why am I sad? Yeah, and then was like, gosh, don't feel well. You know, like, yeah, no shit. no shit. Anyway, so... We can get that lamp that you've got. The alarm clock lamp, the SAT, SAD lamp. Yes, I know lots of people absolutely swear by them. It personally has not been transformative for me.

Okay. But I don't in any way, want to stand in the way of anyone's sad lamp journey. Absolutely not. Sometimes these things can be like a placebo as well. If you think it's going to work, it will work. And so I know so many people who think, you know, absolutely life-changing. Not me, but... That's... I'm really appreciative of your...

Of my honesty. But I do want you to try it if you think it might be, you know? Oh my God. I want you. I want you to try as well. One of the NHS tips which they go quite deep I just drink more milk.

Okay, it's got protein, vitamin A and B12 in it. Choose the semi-skimmed. I mean, I don't really think that's it. And also, hang on, NHS, try new activities for the whole family. Really? Okay, fine.

Oh yes, the last good tip is you should really have a very, like, big breakfast and a hearty breakfast. I really lean into this whole thing of like, I think in summer you tend to eat, or one tends to eat. I eat the same, whatever the season is, but you tend to eat a little bit less in summer

because you're hot, you're doing things out about, whereas winter, you just want to be comforted quite a lot, and that often comes from the inside. And that doesn't mean you're going, that's, like, unhealthy. So you should lean into that. There's a reason why, like, porridge is very wintry. And, you know, like mashed potato, like sausage and mashed and pies. Like, yeah. And get into the habit of breakfast like a king, lunch like an earl. At dinner, like a peasant. Dinner, like a pauper. I can't think what, who lunch is for? Lunch is just like, yeah, for like the... It can't be an ear. That can't be, right. It's definitely not an ear. Like a duke.

Why not? Lunch like a duke. It's a huge jump from lunch to dinner then It's a big tip, isn't it? That everyone always says And I just think it's the most like sad tip Because then you've got nothing to look forward to in the day. I know, I know, I know. Dine like a duke.

Yeah. And a queen. Breakfast like a king. Lunch like a king. Dinner like a king. A hundred percent. And that's winter. That's how you become a king.

You're a goddamn king. Yeah. It's probably not so good for you to eat the massive, massive, comforting meals last thing at night. But we're here now. But also like, lean in. You're cold. So just do it.

Do it. Do it. Yeah. So that's all the tips you've got. I haven't really helpful. No, I have one more. Have you got one more? Yes, yes.

Oh, buy an electric blanket. Get yourself a lovely electric blanket. Get the hot water bottle. Especially for it in a rental because there's going to be lots of arguments about the heating. Yes. And you have to, you know that you can push it. And then at one point you have to step back and be like, this is going to cause such animosity. I'm going to have to take my own heat into my own hands.

And that's when you buy an electric blanket and you get a little heater and then you get a load of shit for the electricity bill. But he's like, well, it's either all. So. Don't tell them. Oh my God. I entered into a war of attrition vis-a-vis the thermostat. Everyone has.

And who among us have not? Then I would just claim I hadn't done it. But I have. Top tip from Tessa, just lie so much. Shameless lying. I once put the thermostat up to like 37. Because I did not realise it was Celsius. Okay.

And then my... And I was lodging with a very nice girl called Libby and she just bought a house. I hope she doesn't listen. Well, she's fine. And I was like paying her mortgage in like a little room. And I just turned all the thermost up to like burning fire. The world.

is going to end to temperature and nearly broke all of her radiators having just moved in. So check whether you're on Celsius or Fahrenheit. Certainly, certainly. I just don't like to touch them. Spend the time, spend the time, and we won't be helping you, but spend the time working out how the boiler works. Just spend a bit of time. I once bled a boiler? No, I didn't. I can't have done that. Can't have done that. I wasn't fixed a boiler, but I was on the phone to a man, which was really annoying when I did it because I wanted to do it myself and then I couldn't do it. And then you had to talk me through it.

Maybe we'll do a whole episode about the boiler. I think we should start doing some video content about the boilers. Join in for that, everyone. It's been really good. The electric blanket. Get your back covered. Get your big pants on and cover your back. I mean, that's it it.

Cover your back. But yes. As in your actual back. As in the bottom of your back. Okay. I think just wear the highest clothes you possibly get. Wear really high clothes. That's not actually my deal.

Make sure you stay active. It's very instinctive to be like, I shall never venture outside. Get those endorphins going. They've got to come from summer. Yoga with Adrienne. Do you yoga with Adi. IDN, go running, go to the join the gym, if you could afford it, you know, find the cheapest,

do one of those class passes, stay active. I'm going to do a boot camp outside in the park outside my house. Like, that you actually, like, pay for, and then a woman, like, shouts at you to, like, pick up a brick and put it down. Do you let me know if you go back for a second one of those? I will. You have to pay for, like, six sessions and a go, so I'm going back. Oh, okay.

What time is it, 7.30. Wow. Look, it's going to be, like, quite hard, but I'll let you know how it goes. Please, please do. Or if there's like a new co-host from now on, you know that it didn't go well. Yeah, I dropped the brick on my face. That's the end of that. Stevie's incapacitated for the foreseeable future.

Yeah. Try and take up a winter activity. So something that you can only do in the winter. I like to make Christmas. Yes, please. Go on then. I like to make Christmas decorations. Own it for God's sake.

I make little, I bought some tartan ribbon. Lovely. And then I made them into a bow and I put a single stitch in to keep it like tight. I've ruined it. Wow. And then I, put them on the corners of all of the picture frames in our house. So it's all...

And so what's on them? It's just like a little bow, a little tartan Christmas bow. Oh, it's just the bow. All of the pictures are all that Christmas. And this year I'm making Santa hats for all of the people in all of the film posters in our house. So that's...

Oh, that's really lovely. Yeah, and it's just mainly an activity to do when I'm cold and I'm upset. That's so nice, because this Scrooge McDuck over here is not doing anything. It's not the way in... Well, it might be the way... It's not... It's certainly the way into sadness.

Yeah, exactly. There's this, the down, I know where this path lies. I've been there before. But I have as well, and that's why I'm kind of like leaning in a bit just to cheer myself up. That's so good. That's so good. Do an winter activity be that the tartan, be that the learning to bake, I don't know, snowing wintery, ice skating, go to, there'll be an ice rink somewhat, you know, especially if you can't.

That's more fun if you can't. But you then, therefore you're like, oh, I can only do this in the winter, you know, so therefore you're like, this is my winter thing that I can do again that you're excited to do. And also find somebody who. really, really loves the winter. Yes. And just say, hello, please. Can I join you in your endeavors?

Can I come with you? Because they'll do things like, which is what I do, which is like, I love, like, I love wintry pubs and they've got like a roaring fire and you have like some mould cider or something with friends, you know? I love that and I really look forward to that. It's like, oh, it's time to maybe have malt cider with friends. Lovely.

And that's nice. And I like scarves and earmuffs and things like that. Blanket scarves, absolutely dream. If they go out of fashion, I'm still wearing them. And just like, yeah, I suppose that's the difference. lots of things and I'm like, oh yeah, I can do that again. And you probably have that as well, but you're focused on that you're cold. I have those things, but to me, I just checked in with myself there to see if I wanted a warm cider

with friends and I was just like, hmm. I literally said to myself, do I want that? And I responded like, no. That's fine. I just like, you felt nothing. And it was just really sad. What's happened to me? Well, this, we're going to do a Christmas episode called How to Give Christmas Back to Tessa.

Yeah. And then we'll do like, we'll go a really Christmas episode. a real funk about it. Don't be in a funk about it because we're going to record quite soon. Will you be my winter friend? Yes, I'll be your winter and your Christmas friend. Thank you. So, you'll take me on your activities.

I'll be your poached. So yeah, knock on your winter friend's door and say, hello, please. Can you winter me up, please? Can you winter me up? And if you have somebody who really hates it much more than you, maybe you can try and be there, you can try and shivvy them. Be their poached egg.

You can try and be their poached egg, which is a reference to the most Christmas Carol. It's the Mubest Christmas Carol. and the first ghost of Christmas appears and she looks like a poached egg and it's not my joke I think it's Phoebe Walsh's joke as I saw on Twitter

and it was the best thing it's very a visual, very much a visual joke but look it up look it up, it's full poached egg like it's a fantastic joke yeah so try and help somebody even worse than you and try and find somebody above you

to be like you're really doing this well but the most important thing is like to just to cover your back is to cover your back with your big pants yeah and so hopefully you just feel like yeah that's one of the most fun episodes. I've, I really enjoyed it.

It was just sort of a chat, wasn't it? Because it's quite cold and we couldn't think of anything else to do. Please email us with podcast suggestions. Nobody Panic Podcast at gmail.com for any fun podcast suggestions or ones you really need. And we will attempt to have a go. And Twitter at Nobody Panic Pod. I'm at Stuvia and the S is a five.

I'm at Tessicoat. The S is a five. And I guess it's like... They're not. No, yeah, don't do that. Prank! Prank! Guys, we've got to go home and put our correct weather gear on.

so please button up get the right gear on get your thermals get your galoshes cover your back layer get your proper shoes for god's sake cover your head

and ask if there's a quiz on goodbye