Nobody Panic - How to Think on the Spot

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

Tessa recently had to think on her feet and nearly froze. She goes through her thought processes with Stevie and they both work out the best way to prevent yourself from covering your face in your hands while screaming I DON'T KNOW IM STUPID IN SORRY. Which often doesn’t work in meetings.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. on the spot. Hello. Oh God. What? Uh, uh, hello, Stevie. No. Oh, no. Welcome to Nobody Panic, the podcast where we figure out how to do things. This episode is about how to think on the spot, brought to me by my co-host, Tessa Coates. Hello, it's me. I've been very inspired recently

to discuss thinking on the spot. I'm Stevie Martin, but I didn't say my own name. Oh, yes, sorry. Yeah. Steve Martin, Tessa Coates. Hey, we're so thrown. So thrown. We can't even think properly. I feel sick. As do I. I was very inspired by this recently. I'll hold my reveal of why. I'm really excited. Oh, a bit of fun. And I thought, I think that'd be a really interesting topic to discuss. Yes. I think it's quite a tricky one. In fact, this week, I was doing a job and I had to think on the spot. And I said, very loudly, I don't want to be thinking on the spot again today, if that's okay. So, genuinely used that exact phrase. So how did people take it? Well, because the reason I was thinking on the spot was because somebody had to mess something up and not done their job very well and they're not very good at their job.

So people were on your side. On my side and also I was, I had to say something. But also like, it doesn't matter what the reason is. You know, I still had to do it. And I think it's very helpful to just sort of do it rather than just express how you don't want to be doing it. Because then you spend a lot of time thinking about why you're angry that you've got to do something. Yes. Rather than doing the actual thinking, which we'll get into.

Which we'll get into. Oh, we'll get into. to it. I absolutely. I think it's... You did some thinking on the spot before we started this episode because Tessa couldn't think of an adult thing of the week, which is what we do every week to make ourselves feel better about the week we've just

had, and you thought on the spot and she put her hands over her eyes and went, Oh! It's like a very sad dog. I didn't even know I'd done that. I was so sad. I was sad that I hadn't prepared. I hadn't

ready. I'd said that I'd forgotten that we do the adult thing. Can't believe that. That's every episode for 17 years. For 17 years. And then I was crossed sort of that I didn't have, that I hadn't done anything good. But then Stevie has reminded me that this morning, I've commuted from Colwyn Bay. And I've navigated the train strikes with only minimal tears.

Great. And only one broken bag and only one man shouting, it's a fucking red light as I went past him on my bicycle. Yes. So you navigated the train strike by, of course, cycling. cycling from Colwyn Bay. And I've made it in fantastic time. There was a train strike yesterday. Was I stupid for not knowing that? Possibly. No, there's a train strike at every point. And then sometimes there isn't because the queens died. Like that is the, you just don't know when it's happening. And that's the point. So on Tuesday, Grandma was like, what train should we get tomorrow? And I was like, or you, she wasn't coming with me.

Got her grandma's here. Grandma's had to cycle as well. That man was furious shouting at us both in tandem. Grandma said, what train is you getting tomorrow? And I was like, I don't know, they go every half hour, don't know, whenever. And then I looked it and she was like, no, look it up. And I looked it up. Lo and behold, nothing. Train strike.

Then I was too late. I've missed it for going back. I couldn't go last night. Had to wait the whole day. Came back, got up at 5 o'clock this morning. Oh my God. Oh, God. But I did it.

And you only cried once. Only had a small cry. That's great. Only one broken bag. Only one incident of the dungarees being on inside. out. That's once you arrived. That's when she arrived. Great. So it's been a real journey, but I'm here. That's good. Your adult thing is you're here. I'm here. I'm dressed. I've chairman of dungarees around again. Yes. I was late and I do apologize to you profusely. That's fine. I don't mind.

Thank you. Great. What's mine? I did a very scary thing where I was very frightened to the extent where I did consider not doing it and pretending that something had gone wrong. I think I can say it. By the time this, I don't think it matters and no one gives a shit. It's not that important. It's just for me, I'm the prime minister. I'm the new health secretary. Wow. Honestly, I back you. And I just did it and then I've stopped doing it. This is a one day thing. No, I went, I did the TV show eight out of ten cats does count down. Oh my God, Stevie. And it's the Christmas special. Oh my God. So it wasn't just like...

Contested or in the corner. In the corner. Sorry, I'll rephrase. Dictionary Corner with Susie Dent, not just stood alone in the corner. I was just in the corner. I was again, I was in the audience. And you keep telling everyone you're in the Christmas special.

Because it's a shot off me. Yeah, why not. My parents are in it as well. And in that case, they came to see because it films in Manchester. But the... I still don't understand whether it would be more frightening to be on the panel or on Dictionary Corner. Because Dictionary Corner, apparently when you film it, you have to sit there in silence for an hour...

over an hour while they do all the stuff because it's much longer. And you just haven't said anything for ages. And everyone's like got the room on side and having a good time. And then like, and now it's dictionary corny. You just have to like do a bit. And how was your bit? I had a really nice time. Oh my God.

I don't know if it will be good. What kind of bits did you do? I did classic bits that if you see it, you'll go, oh yeah, they're Stevie's best bit. But what are the bit? Give us a little hint. I was like a, well, I was just me, but I was pretend like being like an online comedian just telling everyone about how to do their social media. Did you have a bit, a projector?

I had a projector and had my little slides. But also, I got to, like, chat a bit and get involved. And Jack D told me to, that I couldn't eat one of his gingerbread biscuits. And that was fun. And I got to just have a nice chat. So I don't know if it will, you know, it might come out and it's, like, quite bad. But it doesn't matter because I did it and, like, really tried hard and did the best job I could do. And I didn't freak out.

And I thought a lot about the previous episodes that we'd done on things like overcoming things. and being frightened about things and trying to turn the fear into adrenaline and being like, no, I'm just excited to do it. And like remembering all the times I've done things before that, no, we're not as scary,

but we're scary at the time. So if I could do that, like if I could do your gig five years ago and not try and get out of it, I was like, no, you're doing the same thing as when you try to get out to test as gig. It would be best if I went home. That's the text I received.

Saying to Jimmy Carr, sorry James. I think I've got to go home. So yeah, I was very proud. Did Jimmy Carr remember you? Did you tell him about that time we did a gig? I actually did. I was there, I met you like, 10 years ago.

And he was like, I don't, and I didn't say the sketch group thing, but he was like, oh, the head and chickens, yes. Oh, wow, he didn't remember. And he was very nice and everyone was very nice with me. And yeah, just lovely. And it was a real reminder of like, because I'm just like, I don't want to do panel shows. And they got another panel show off the back of it. So it was like, oh, I can do them.

Like, and I've always liked, I can't, I can't, I can't. And I have been thinking that for, and that's the only reason I haven't done them. Sure. It's not anything to do with them. clamouring at the gates. They're like, bloody will be now. Well, this is fantastic. Yeah, so thank you everybody.

That's it. Somebody asked me to emcee a gig the other day, and I said, like, I don't emcee, I can't do it, is what I said in my head. But out loud, I said, busy. But now, I'm going to say, I'm not busy. You could definitely emce. And if you've got to be like, okay, let's do these brave things. Okay, end of episode. Yeah, done.

Wow. How to think on the spot? Get yourself out of 10 cats. What do you need? Yeah. I hope if you're listening and you're like, okay. somebody asked me to do something I was about to say no to, but I'm going to do it. Please.

If those two are doing it, I'm going in. Yeah. Hoo-hoo-hoo-ee. Wow. So what was the thing that made you, inspired you to send me that WhatsApp being like, I think I've got some things to say about thinking on the spot. It was. A couple of weeks ago, I got a nice text from your friend and mine, Max and Yvann.

I do like Max and Yvann. Max and Yvant. Great, guys. And I got text saying, what do you doing tomorrow? Would you come on our podcast? And I was like, yeah, sure. And they were like, great. Sound deals.

Well, it's a good podcast. Absolutely. At the time, it just said, our podcast. And I was like, so I googled them and something came up from 2017. And I was like, I'm not confident is this murder mystery podcast from 2017. But I didn't ask any questions. I was like, yeah, yeah. And they were like, great.

Come on at 11 a.m. on Zoom. And I was like, gorgeous. And they said very clearly, no preparation needed. And I was like, great. So I thought either I'm reading in some of their characters or I'm doing something or they're chatting to me as a person. or whatever. And admittedly, I had not done a scrap of research into what it was I was expected to do.

It's called... Sound deals. And you've done it? I did it last year, yes. Fantastic. So it's called sound deals. It's very fun. Max seems to live in a warehouse

from what I can grasp, but sort of a QVC-style shopping channel. And very jolly. But you come on as a... As yourself, but you have Dragon's Den style invented a product. But you don't know what it is, and Max and Ivan don't know what it is,

and they're producing. so hands them just the name of the product right before. And then that's the first time we're all hearing it. And then you have to make it up. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. I can do that. And then we're chatting and we're learning all about this warehouse on the podcast and everything. And they said, of course, now you're here to talk about your product.

And it is called, and then they open the envelope and they said the name of the product. And I just, like, borderline had an aneurysm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just like white-noised out. Yeah. So blank that it's beyond black. Yeah, beyond. I transcended beyond blank to the eternal realm. Like I was like, I'm not, I can't come back from here. Like, I was just like floating in time and space. I...

Which is how, I think, if you don't do improv, which you do, but like if you're listening and, you know, obviously, doing improv is not like the most relatable of things. But like, if you don't do it, that's how you, you would imagine it feels every time. Every time. But it doesn't, because when you're in practice, you kind of let go and you can, but you haven't done it, I guess, for a while. Exactly. It was that feeling of thinking, I'm out of practice from improv and this was. exactly the thing that I struggled with the hardest in improv, the concept of improv. Yeah, I was going to say, everything about improvising. It was this, it was the feeling that it's all on you and you immediately have to come up with the solution, like right now. It's terrifying. The product is unrelated, if you're listening and you're like, but what was it

that caused you to span out so much? It could have been anything. The product is related. It was called the thank tank. And I just, I mean, you can all have a moment now in which you all, all can practice. You're just listening to white noise now. As you're all white noise out thinking you're on this comedy podcast and your job now is to come up with the, I mean, they didn't say come up with something funny, but they, that is implied. Oh, it's heavily implied.

It's not implied. Also, it's sort of exactly like if you're in a meeting or something and someone just goes, what do you think about that and you go, huh, huh? And the moment you say something, someone else will probably jump in and go, oh, great point, but you've got to say that first thing. You've got to say that first thing. You can't just go, no, like you can't. And it felt like you had to sort of.

exactly what it was immediately. And it was such a panicky feeling and so unpleasant that I really was like, I think I'd like to talk about this a bit. And also I was like, I did eventually something deep in my subconscious did kick in that was like, I think we've been here before and I think this is what we do, which is that I tell you who came to me. Ian McKellen. Very close. Gantalph. Alan Davies. Alan Davies came to you. Gandolf flew past first, but he was like busy ballrog. He like introduced Alan Davies like in those posh parties and they come and go, Alan Davies.

And then he went off to deal with the ballrog. He was like, do you know Alan? Do you know Alan? And Alan, a memory from many years ago in which I had met Alan Davis very briefly. And he was talking about being on QI and somebody had said, gosh, you're so quick on it. And he was like, if you actually watch me, I never answer the question. I just ask them another question. Yes. So if they say, you know, how many ant-hills are there in the world, instead of answering a hundred, I say, how many ant-hills?

Literally like that. And just like make a joke out of the question. The question, how ridiculous that question is. You know, that's all I do. And after I've said that, someone else will say something else, someone else is something else. And then eventually we come around to me again. And so that's what I did. I said, how many ant-hills? I just shouted how many hand tills at Max and a van. No, I said, because Max had set up that he knew this product and he really liked the product. So I said something like, thank you so much. And of course, Max, you've been using this product now for some time. So I just batted it immediately away to Max. And so, but truly, when Max asked me this question, I honestly wanted to just leave the Zoom.

My genuine instinct was to shout, no. Close the computer. Shoot! Wi-Fi and closed. I wouldn't even have had the coherency to say Wi-Fi. Oh, just shouted, no, I don't want to do this. Thank you. And close the Zoom.

And so I was like, I think if I can be, if this podcast can be anyone's Alan Davis in the spirit realm, next time it happens to any listeners, then I thought that might be of some. Because that is the thing that I remember when I was a journalist, the scary thing was the pitch meetings and you had to go, go around and you had to pitch you the article. And it started to get fine the longer you did it.

But the first, like, two years, it was like, everything I said, it was like, so an article about, like it's just so frightening. Or someone would go like, someone would come up with their pitch and then someone would go, oh, well, you do something along those lines to be, didn't you? And you'd be like, yes. And then wouldn't be able to add to it. Because you'd just be so frightened of saying something that just sounded stupid.

So the idea of engaging with it, asking a question, because as well, the fact that you're sort of blanking out, you're blanking out for a reason. And it's because you don't feel you have the information in order to give the other person and what they need. So it's almost like use the information that you're given to formulate the question rather than... Because I think it's just... It is the most frightening thing in the world,

like having to think immediately. And so I think there are probably two veins of this. One is you are in a team meeting. So there are other people who will be expected to contribute or to pitch in or to help. And one is that it's just you all alone. Spotlight it. No one can help.

My friend, if I may... Yes, please. Another scenario, happened, I went for a drink with my friend last night and she went to meet her new boyfriend's parents. Very like, tight, fun, family unit, lots of in jokes, lots of fun, lots of like, just quickfire stuff.

And they tried to bring her into the conversation in a very sweet way, so she's a food writer. And it was like, what's your favorite restaurant? And she knows every restaurant in the whole of London town and writes about a million. and was like, um, there's too many to choose. Like, okay, no, no, what's your favorite food then? She's like, I don't, no, I've never had any food.

I don't toast. Like, it was so, um, hard going. And I was just thinking that that is another scenario in which you're in like, almost a social situation that you feel slightly uncomfortable with, and then someone is kind enough to bring you in. But the way in which they bring you in is terrifying and you just want to be like, no, I just want to be silent and watch you will. Yeah, please give me a chance to get into the water as opposed to like be pushed.

be pushed in and it is like people ask you that question like that or anything, you can be anything and you're just like, I've never like, what's your favourite movie? And you're like, I've never seen any movies, I've never been out, I don't know anything. I always say, the Shawshank Redemption and I didn't really like it. So I think if it's like spotlight on you, no help, I suppose the first thing to do

is to be like, gosh, how interesting what's your favourite food? Yeah, or like, there's just too many. I just, and that's the thing. Or just straight back to like, have you got a favorite restaurant? Yes. Or like, I think it is weird if you're spotlight and someone goes, what's your favorite restaurant? You go, what's yours? Do you think? That is weird, yeah. That will make it. It's not weird that everyone would be like, get out. But I think you can just go, for example, my friend could have said, oh my God, I have no idea because I'm like a food writer. I just, there's too many types of food. But I'm like, I'm so obsessed with it that I just don't even think about what my favorite one is. What's, what's yours? So then you kind of, you talk through the process in your, in your head. Socially, that's more acceptable. The, rather than in a team meeting, if you then talk through all the process, you don't maybe appear professional or whatever. But if you're in a social setting, you can be.

be like, for example, I always say the short-shy reaction because of panic, but it's not. I don't know. I think that talking it through is totally possible. I think the instinct is to shout out loud. I don't know. I've never seen anything I've ever about. But I think if you can be like, oh, no, here's what they were talking about. Here comes the feeling. Now I'm just going to breathe through it. I'm going to try and calmly and confidently be like, gosh, my favorite restaurant. Catch yourself if you're just talking a million miles an hour. Like, catch yourself if you're in any way screaming. Like, it's very hard to think, isn't it? You'd be like, yeah, it is.

Like, you don't need to share that. Yes. But I passed this thing over to Max. He said, yes, I did enjoy the product. Then he paused. No! Yeah, I know. I was like, oh, Christ, Max.

But I guess he didn't want in any way to, like, say what my thing was. Yes. So he bought me, like, a few seconds of breathing time, but not enough. Back, it came to me. And in my head, in my head said, kid, you just got to make a choice. Yeah. It doesn't have to be good, but you do have to say. Which is not something Alan Davis said to her.

No. Sorry. At this point, at this point, yeah, he's just, at this point, yeah, he's, he's, he's my subconscious operating in the form of Alan David, in my head, who says, you just have to say something. Yes. And so I said, it's a, it's a tank, and it thanks. It's a tank, it looks like a fish tank, it's wearable tech, you wear it on your back, and you don't, and it says, thank you if you forget to say thank you.

Great. And thank you so much. Thank you. But 20 minutes later, if you listen, again, I could be cut from the podcast. But by the end of the 20 minutes, I'm truly hysterical laughing at myself at the idea of what I've come up with. Because that's the thing, if you let, if you get over that panic and you let yourself have time to come up with something, your brain is so capable of it. And everybody's brain is, but you have to just like breathe through the white noise aspect. Well, also, the problem is the gap between what you want to be and what the reality is.

And I think that's where the problem is. So, like, you in your head want to create, like, the funniest product ever. It's really clever and also has some twists to it. You can, like, throw in later. It's in callbacks that actually would function as a workable product. That's right, Steve. All those things. Yeah.

And my friend wants to say, like, a restaurant or her favorite food that maybe they haven't even heard of so that then she can, like, show that she really knows her stuff. off, but also could be helpful for them when they're next on a family outing. And it's that gap that needs to be eliminated when you are put in the spotlight, where you just go, okay, I've been spotlighted and you have that, that's like half, like a nanosecond. And then by the time you've got to like, you've got about three seconds, it sounds like nothing, but actually will feel like 20 years. And you can always use that, like, that's a good question.

Let me just think about that for a minute. You just say that. That's so fine. And then I read that even by saying something like that, that you switch your brain into like a slightly different mode. So it stopped hysterically spiraling about that. Yeah. It's like that thing of like you should, if you've got to think of a good thought, do some ironing

because your brain goes into like beta mode or whatever. Like the waves are different and just giving yourself that sentence allows your brain to kind of switch and like allows you to just sort of be honest and say what you actually think. And if that is, I don't know, then you can be like, I don't know what my favorite restaurant is. Isn't that mad? because I'm like a food writer, but what's yours? And then you kind of, yeah, you've immediately taken control of the situation and you've shown yourself that you don't have to be, there's no best answer.

That's, I think, the biggest thing, isn't it? There is no, there is no best answer. Yeah. There is only an answer. Yeah. And you being silent and screaming is not an answer. Yeah. But like, anything you say is good.

You know, I'm just thinking about, like, at school and at uni and stuff, you know, the tutor would say, but that's genuinely. ask me a question about something. And I would say something and it would just be bullshit because I didn't know or I hadn't read a book or whatever. And then it is embarrassing. And then you're like, oh God, and that means then the next time you're even more frightened and even more liable to say something

completely mad even if you do know what the answer is. But it's about breaking that cycle. And I think don't hide from situations where you will be put on the spot if you think you're not good at it. Because the only way you'll get good at it is experiencing it more. So just because you said something mad in your last tutorial, don't not, like, actually that's the reason

to then actually do it more because it will help you. And I think so much that we do about this on this podcast is about putting yourself in frightening situations that you believe you can't do. And then showing yourself, you can do them. And then it's not frightening anymore and it seems to be

the case here as well. It's 100% that. As you were talking then, I was just returning to each and every time I'd ever said something stupid in a meeting. and just exquisitely reliving each and everyone. But then I was also thinking to myself, well, Alan was coaching me. Of course.

He was saying, well, can you think of anything stupid that anyone else said in those meetings? And I was like, no, of course not. I was like, well, no one else is thinking about the weird thing you said. And I do remember also the times when I was like brave enough, when I was like, that's a shit idea in my head. And then I'd be brave enough to sort of say it.

But only after weeks of like other people saying something slightly similar to what I was thinking anyway. And eventually I would say an idea, and I'd be like, oh, great idea. And then I'd be like, oh, okay. Okay. Okay. If the ideas are good. But also like, a thing where we would get in the world, if everybody spoke at the same time. If everyone just like, because how often have, you know, you kept quiet about something or not suggested an idea or not thought of something that actually maybe it wasn't perfect, but it helps somebody else unlock another idea. And now as a team, we could do it. But that group activity can't happen if you're like, I must be, the only way through this is for me to be silent.

Yeah. You're thinking, this is best for me because I'm stupid and shit and I'll be quiet. But actually, yeah. everyone else there is like I would love if people even brought bad. That's sort of like there are no bad ideas like not if they help us. And they will even if they helped to like scratch something off. Like I went into, I did a writer's room for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago. And it was all with people that I think are very, very funny and do writers rooms a lot. And I didn't tell them that I'd never been in one because obviously that would be unhelpful. But it was very interesting seeing how like how the ideas tossed around and how important it was that even if someone

said an idea that was genuinely shit everyone would go like oh yeah that's such a good yeah they like find something in it and go yeah that oh like maybe we could make it like this and they're like oh my god yeah like this and it's lovely and I know that a lot of brights rooms are not that nice and I think they're the same as any meeting at work

where there's the odd person and they tend to kind of be actually quite prevalent in workplaces who when they speak they they either have or they think they have so it sounds like they have a finished thought on the matter and so then they appear immediately more authoritative

and I would always look at those people and be like, God, I wish I could be like, well, the thing that we have to do is this. And actually the people who are helping build the eventual solution that is, you know, arrived at this meeting, they're the people that are actually facilitating better than the people that just go, this or nothing

and sound really like, walk in and go like, buy and sell and then leave. They're not helpful. I feel like we've grown up thinking that those people, you know, like in tutorials that just, whack lyrical for ages and you're like oh god well they're amazing great for them but that's not helpful for really anything else and it sounds like they're just like putting on this weird front out of an insecure position it's like what i've heard in the business magazines that is you just

shout your opinion yes and then you say it and you have the confidence to not know that your idea is the best idea is the bravest and also probably most uh useful thing you know any workplace any social situation because it immediately a makes people go like oh this person's a human and like and they're giving it a go. And B helps other people, like you say, create even better ideas than if you'd have just come in and just kicked the door down and said, announced your thing.

You know, I see now that, like, me being like, I have to say this perfect, hilarious thing for Max and a Van. Like, I don't have to do any of those things. I just have to say anything. The only thing that isn't going to work here is me being like, I don't know. Yeah, that's the one thing. Whereas even if I'm like, it's a tank top

and it says thanks on it. Yeah, that's great. That's great. It's a product. That's a product. We're off. And everyone can talk about it. Now we've got something and we can move forward.

You only have to put the very first little bit onto the table, you know, and now we're off. And even if like you're saying in this writer's meeting or the engineering meeting or the marketing meeting or the shareholder's meeting, wherever you are, even if you do say an idea that is shot down or is, you know, hopefully nicely, but in whatever way, at least the group have now understood that like this is an area we're not, you know, if you're like, I thought this sketch and I'd have my butthole out. and everyone's like, cool thoughts, cool thoughts. Poppy butthole away. Tell you what, for this channel, no buttholes. And everyone's like, oh, good to know. Interesting. That's where we are.

That's where we're at. At the shareholder meeting, no buttholes. So it's good to like, at least the whole group now. You know, first we know that Stevie's contributed. She's been part of it. She's said stuff. And no one comes away with like, remember when she said buttholes. We're like, oh, great.

Just she was a contributing active member of the team. Yes. And I think the improv thing is such a good. good metaphor for like, I've got a friend who taught improv for a long time and she was always like, comedians are the worst in improv when they come in because they're just trying to make a fully formed joke all the time and say the funniest thing all the time and actually 90% of the time you just meant to say anything. It was like a shop scene, you don't have to come in and be like, make a funny joke about what the shop's called, buy a funny product and then

do a catchphrase. You actually are supposed to just be like, oh, how much is this? I'd like to buy, I'd like to buy this, please, is the best thing you can say. Or even one better than I'd like to buy this is I'd like to buy an egg. An egg. See? And now, look, all of us relax. Because if you just say, I want to buy this, I'm like, I have to say what this is. Understood.

Yeah. But if you come in and you're confident and brave enough to say it's an egg, fantastic. Yeah. It's not a joke, but now we sell eggs. You know where we are. You know? Whereas actually, all the, and they were always boys, the standups who come in and they're like, ding ding ding ding, ding dong dong.

Dong dong! I've got a big dong. there's all of cats for sale today. And everyone's like, what? Yeah. You know, whereas you were saying, how much is this egg? Yeah.

Great. Or me, just not saying any nouns. What's that? Is this here? Yeah. Everyone's freaking out. No, help you were still, that was still good. But just an egg.

Oh, mama. Now we got something to go. That is the takeaway. If you put on the spot, just say an egg. An egg. Please just say an egg. Just say any noun. And that's something.

Calmly. Because if you went, how much is an egg? You know, it's a great. The suggestion is the suggestion. It's great. Just do it with some calmness and some confidence. You won't feel nice. Breathe, calm, confident. Remember, oh yes, this thing feels much longer in my head than it actually is. It's going to pass. I won't live here in the eternal realm forever. And have confidence in not knowing the answer. If you don't feel like you have anything that you can contrary, as long as you present it in a way that isn't just like, oh, I'm so sorry. I just like, I was really tired. And I can't thought about.

Like you can be like, actually a lot of the points that I've sort of thought about have already been brought up. So I'm sort of just listening at the moment. Great. Wow. A businesswoman is in the room. And if you said it is the favorite restaurant, I think, be like, oh my goodness, give me a minute and then I will absolutely have one. Yeah. I just got so many to think through.

And then, you know, name, again, any noun, anything. Wahaka. Warhaka. And be like, okay, now we're talking about Wahaka. And now that we're breathing and our brains aren't freaking out. Now in a minute, you'll be like, oh, my God, once I went to dishroom and I have. had an egg and it was delicious. It was delicious. Yeah. And so and a final point and this one is from Gandalf of course is how long is he off? You know, within the plot he's gone, I don't know,

weeks. Yeah. But but to Gandalf, hundreds of years. Hundreds of years. Right? So he has been gone ages for him. What's relevant? The relevance is you'll feel long in your head. The silence will feel so long, you think you've been gone hundreds of years, like Gandalf. You haven't. Barely a week. And now you're a good guy. But you had to go away for a moment. But so that thing, don't think that that time is massive. It isn't as big as it feels. And because that is part of the panic, it's like, everyone's looking at me, and I've been silent for hours. You haven't. And just, and, you know, just getting that like, just give me a minute or whatever. Yeah. Interesting question. Interesting question. Thank you so much. Let me just think about that. Everyone's like, fine.

I will listen to that woman. I will watch that woman nod while she says, let me just think about that for up to four minutes, I think I would, is how long. Before I would, I would say if you needed any help. But she found it like a genuine tip. Just nod for four minutes. Four minutes. And then respond. But that, but if you would just said nothing, it would be seconds before I,

If you're nodding, that you're nodding, bought yourself time. You bought yourself. Science is a friend for which you can use to help you think. What's the episode about next week? I don't know. I've forgotten the joke. I was just putting you on the spot. Oh, look.

See, look. And I did it. Oh, I did a job. Great job. And you didn't panic at all. I didn't. I didn't. I panicked inside.

but if it didn't look like... But that's the thing. But outside, you just were like, I don't know. Do you know? Do you know? Who knows? Thank you so much, Tessa, for bringing that episode to us. Thank you for letting me share it. It was really happy. And please do listen to Macon-Avans podcast Sound Deals.

It's actually very fun. And a good old listen. And we're out, Nobody Panic Pod. Keep those DMs or emails for episode suggestions coming. Otherwise, it will just be things I've thought. Yeah, that's all right. Things I've thought. Honestly, they've been some of our best episodes.

So, God bless you. God bless you. And God bless you all at home. Goodbye. Goodbye.