Nobody Panic - How to Travel Alone

Episode Date: January 7, 2020

Always dreamed of throwing a book and some cheese into a spotted handkerchief but always held back from going on your own? Then let Tessa (seasoned solo traveller) and Stevie (confidently building up to it) push you on to the overnight train and set you off on your adventure!Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to Nobody Panic with me, Stevie. Hello and me, Tessa. It's Tessa, everybody.

I thought to try that. Well, thanks. Boost me up. Guys, can I introduce Stevie? Oh! Here I am. Stevie, Stevie, Steve. The confidence is that now. This is a podcast where we help you answer life big, small questions.

How to do things? Sorry, I was just spiraling into the future where I would one day interview you on a late night show. It will happen. And I was thinking how viral it would be because we had such good rapport. And I was just debating. of us would be the chat show post. You know what? May I bob in and say what I think it will be is someone like Vogue magazine or that cool magazine interview where they get celebrities to interview other celebrities. They'll do a video because we'll both be of equal success. That's so wonderful.

You know, I'll be 74. Yes. So on that note, we're going to do an episode today, which is something that I've wanted to do for a while. And then we did a tweet and I got so many messages that my phone did the thing where it like shuts down. Oh wow. So you crashed my phone. So how to travel alone. Oh, not just travel. How'd you go a holiday alone? I think there's even... Yeah, how to holiday alone. How to be a solo...

A solo traveller. Mm. And solo icon. I've never done it. You've done it. I've done it. But everybody, yeah, we got so much amazing advice. So firstly, thank you so much for tweeting and DMing me.

And we have strong opinions. On that note, what was your adult thing? Well, mine is, I ran on Sunday the Athens... This is insane. Marathon. Did you trade? No. Did you learn anything from your London Marathon experience?

No. When I had to like To carry you out of a Pratt We went to Pratt because we found out that the debrief had folded And we had to start nobody panicked And you could walk But you also couldn't Had I just around the marathon when that happened

And there was a point where you did say I don't want you to do this But it would be more comfortable If you just like Linked your arms in my arms And just dragged me So I didn't have to move my legs But I couldn't

Oh God My legs are much better today So recovery time That's unreal You walked in like a normal person I walked in here Yeah Yeah. Those following the journey, my mum is a passionate runner. Ran county at school. Boring.

Debbie. And she's nice. She ran the floor of London Marathon when she was 40. She was 60 this year. She'd always intended to do it. I know why. She did 4 hours and 30 minutes, which is the qualifying time if you're 60. Great. So she was like, well, bloody hell, I'll do it again when I'm 60. Okay, great. So cut to she's 60. She enters the floor of London Marathon. She's like, here I go. She has a cruciate ligament surgery on her knee, and it's like, nah, we're out. Then she was like, well, there's a place going, do you want to run it?

So two months in, I was like, yeah, why not? And it was bad. Everyone, it was very bad. And then this year, she got, we said, at Christmas we got drunk and we said, let's run the original Athens route from marathon to Athens, where the guy ran to tell them to tell them. Something, yeah. He ran to tell them something. Yeah. And then legend says he ran back and then he died.

but why who's to say and so you're like buddy hell let's do it and I was like yeah yeah yeah this time I'll train low low narrator she did not train spoiler I did not train

and then I did not train and then I just want to bobby in and say you trained less because you had run Tesla for the London marathon told me she'd run 10 miles and I was like that's all right turned out with 10K

turned out was 10K yeah but she I think she didn't know at the time but she just didn't want to say and there it was yeah I thought 345 I thought, I'll do this. Or I also thought, if I may,

is that sometimes if you've ever done a run of any kind, a long distance, a fun run, sometimes to make the course interesting or whatever, they'll loop it back on itself. You know, so say it's psychologically... Yeah, very devastating. To see you're so close to people running in the opposite direction and be like, oh my God, how long is it going to be

to have to come back to this exact point? So that happens all the time. And what I thought was in this marathon, by the hell, I'll just get to jump the barrier when that happens. Right. And I'll just cheating, cut ahead. Right.

Well, I'm only cheating myself, you know. Of course. Yeah, I know. But I just run a bit less. Look, look. You should never cheat yourself. That's the one person you shouldn't cheat. My self is absolutely fine. Yeah, but in which case, do it.

They're like, yeah, fine. I back you, says all parts of me. So that was my plan was I'll just jump the barrier. Okay. The marathon begins. And of course, I remember. It's the original marathon. It's the original.

He didn't look back on himself. He wasn't looking. Back on himself. He was. He was. She ran the fastest, straightest route from A to B for 26 miles. Okay. So now I'm trapped in the marathon.

And there's, this, people are falling left, right and center. Also, it is not along, like, the coast. I thought it's going to be like, basically, Mamma Mia. Beautiful, yeah. Ruins the Acropolis. No, it is the motorway in the hail with not a single spectator, just like one car dealer, like, on the side of the road. Yeah, Tesla sent me a photo, and she's, like, running, which,

and there's a guy behind her just checking his, phone sat on a ballard. Like, that's the average spectator. That was it. There was nobody, nothing to look at, nothing to see. It was so grey. And then this plague bus starts picking people up who are collapsing. Okay.

I'm putting them in the bus. And then, and they kept honking me to be like, do you need to get in the bus? And I was like, no, wait, baby. I'm going to do it. And then they'd come back like an hour and a mile later and be like, should we get in the bus? And I was like, no, I'm going to do it. And luckily, thank God, there was also a walking race.

Oh, great. Thank God. Yes. So therefore, I just looked like I did very well in the wall. So I walked and that was fun. But you did run the whole thing, didn't you jogged? Oh my God, it was so slow, Stevie. I saw of 20 kilometres is the point that I was like, 20 kilometers is a real wall where you're like,

all right, that's enough. And then you think, how many more? Oh, 22 more. And then you think that's too many more. Yeah. And that's when I sort of lost morality to start walking. This walk job affair. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

And then in the last sort of five kilometers, you really get like summit fever and you become absolutely like tunnel vision. Then you start sprinting. Then you're you saying vault to the end. Then you are running and you're just like, nobody can stop me. Like, do not come, I'm, you know,

I have to get to the end. I mean, it's amazing that you finished it. It really is. And well done. Do not ever let me just say, okay, did that go. Will you often tell me when you've already signed up or you're running around it?

Or halfway around, yeah. I messaged TV halfway around the matter of saying, This is shit. It was like, okay. But then it was a lovely, like, you know, it was a lovely, like, at the end, you and Debbie? Yeah, my mum was an hour faster than me, and then she climbed back over the railing so she could,

oh, you finish. The whole thing was absolute dog shit until the last hundred metres where you run into the original stadium. Oh, that's incredible. From two and a half thousand years ago. So that bit is amazing. And, uh... You could just go and visit.

I cannot stress enough how easy it would have been, just to go on a day trip, just look. Just look. at it have a little look. It's free. It's free. You can run. Give yourself a run up.

Run in. Run in. Done. Have you picture taken? Pretend. That's exactly how it would feel. And then, so then we got to finish it together at the end. Congratulations.

That's very adult. Thank you. Well, the adult thing, I think, is that I promise I'm never doing that again. And if I ever undertake any kind of anything in the future, I will train. And that is a solemn promise to you, to myself and to all the listeners. Great. Good on you. Mine's nice and simple.

Mine will take like 10 seconds. Mine, my next one, I promise, is like... No, I like it. We've got into this thing where it's like, yours is like this amazing story that you could just pop onto like the stage. And then mine is like, which is what's happening now, mine is I put some nail varnish on. That is it.

No, it's more than that. Well, it's not really because I don't wear nail varnish because it always chips. Exactly, so you've given yourself a manicure. I hate it. So I gave himself a little manicure. But then I did this new thing where you do the nail varnish and then you put like a gel overcoat over it hasn't chipped. So now this is my new thing, because I'm friend of Shalak.

They look beautiful. I keep catching them in my eyesight, in my like parish and being like, oh, whose hands there? And it's like, it's just me alone on the toilet on the bus. I'm like, whose hands that? Oh my God, it's all right. It's me. It's me.

That's really lovely. Yeah, so. Do you feel wonderful? I feel wonderful. And I also feel like I've really lent into kind of the patriarchal society that women should be adorned, but also I like that. So, well, if you go back a bit further, then men were adorned. Men were adorned.

You know? So if anything, it's just a human thing. You've returned to our most ancient rude. Yeah, no. It's really great to be in touch with our forefathers. Okay, travelling alone. Let's begin, Stevie. Why do you not travel alone?

Because I'm frightened. Let's unpack that. We'll unpack it. It's quite easy to unpack. It's quite like surface. Okay. There's not a lot there. It's just a suitcase.

It's just a handper. Unzip and what's in there? On zip, what's in there. It's fear of not being able to do it. it. Fear of I'm quite bored of my own personality. I don't know if I'd be able to sit there, but when I've got like time off, I can do maybe a day and a night in my own flat. This is, with all of the amenities, everything I like. And then the next day I'm like, okay, now I need to organise some social time because I'm starting to talk to myself and crucially be very bored.

And I would be frightened. Also, I think emotionally I'd be very, which we're going to get onto in a minute because there's some great tips about it but like I'd be very much like am I doing it right like and I'd constantly be like I'm doing it I don't know okay maybe that's what the unpacking is but I think it's just not having confidence in yourself not being able to back yourself to go yeah I'll go to Japan is that where you like to go Japan? Is that where you like to go to Japan I'm going to go is there a place in the world that you've always wanted to go? Uh most places in the world I'd like to do the trans-Siberian thing from Russia to China okay so now you imagine your best self on there or a woman...

Still quite poor. Okay, imagine... Imagine a woman who's doing it. With these nails. Yeah, there you go. She's halfway there. So when you say, like, I wouldn't be able to do it.

But these hands would. So you're seeing a woman on there and she's doing it. Oh, yeah, she's doing it. What's she doing? She's like reading a book. Oh, wow. Thanks for the support. Yeah.

She's reading a book. She's also like, she's sorted out a rail card or whatever. She's booked ahead, so she hasn't disaried them. But like, one ticket to China, please. And they've got a don't understand. Andrew and then she's gone home. Okay. She's also not left her phone in the, in Russia.

Okay. And she also is so, she's like, so aware that she's got like four days on a train. And she's not like jiggling a leg and being like, I don't know what, there's not enough entertainment. I'm going to have to be with my thoughts. Now we've got to it. Okay. That's really good.

So, let's address number one, the book. So achievable, Stevie. Oh my God, that is, if anything too achievable. If anything too much, I can see two. Yeah. I'm actually touching two. I brought one today. Exactly.

Okay. So the book, fine. She showed up and she had planned ahead. First of it's something that you can totally do. But also the exciting thing is it's probably possible to just arrive and then get on the train. If you have money, yeah. If you have money, yeah. And if they say, no, sorry, the next train doesn't leave till tomorrow, there's an element to be like, no problem.

No problem. I'll go and stay in a very cheap premier inn or something. Yes. I'll sort it out. No worries. Rather than crying and calling my mum. And then be like, that's it. Abandon ship, I'm coming home.

Russia has defeated me. Exactly. It's possible what's quite exciting to be in these places is an obstacle does not mean the end of the road. The obstacle just means like, no worries. How do we get around it? Oh, do we wait till tomorrow? No problem. And also sometimes getting into the mindset that in lots of countries, they're just like, but when is that? But when is that? And then they're like, when the drive is, the decide decides. Yeah. Sun up or down. Sun up or down. And it's about being like getting, letting go of the like, I can't control it and being like, no, you can't. So just having a nice time regardless. Yeah, so you're like, oh well, the train doesn't leave till tomorrow. No problem, I'll go find something to do in this city. Because I'm quite bad at doing that with other people and also just in life. Yes. So I think that's just a skill that I've been working on going like on holidays and like on little trip trips away. And when it's like, oh, we can't get that bus or the air binby isn't as nice as it could be.

Not being like, well, that's the trip ruined in my head. Being like, so we'll just have a nice time. We'll get some candles. Let's make it a nice thing. Exactly. Yes, very true. Let's use this obstacle. Number three, she hasn't.

She's left all her possessions in the station. Get a bum bag. That's so lovely, let's get a bung bag. So I would say bum bag is the sort of plaster, you know, it's the cure to it. It's an option for you. But deeper than that is the source of being like, yes, you will leave things. You will have things stolen. You will forget everything.

You will lose it. And you will be able to find the way out of that scenario. Yeah. The one thing that I can't control is if someone puts drugs in my bag that I don't know about. And then I'm trapped in the country. It's a big media story for like a bit. but then it kind of dies down and I'm still in prison and no one cares. Okay.

Definitely a very big one. Okay. So this is, the person just slipped them in, did they? Yeah, it happens. Okay, they just slipped them in. Yeah. And then they were going to pick up your bag at the other end, is that right? Big time, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you are completely unaware. I'm just oblivious. Okay, so you're totally oblivive. So I will come and get you out. Oh, thanks. I, your human lights lawyer. I don't think you can do that. And I love the confidence you have within yourself,

But I, it's not that I don't have confidence in you. Oh my God, God, I believe you can do anything that you say your mind to. You just run a marathon, God damn it. God damn it. But I'll get you out of that jail. I think you know, I think human rights law is maybe something that you have to have training. What did we just say? You have to train.

Yes, absolutely. Don't just rock up. But, okay, so if that is a genuine concern. Yeah. Then any time when you're crossing over a border in which that would become an issue. Keep your back, shut. Keep your back, totally shut. Or if you do feel nervous about that sort of thing, take yourself off to the toilet or whatever,

totally unpack everything. thing, check everywhere, be like, oh look, there's no... Give myself drug checks before Russia does. Exactly. I've been like, I have checked this bag. I'm my own bug, sniffing dog or whatever. And then also to be like, what are the chances that somebody, you know, it's not likely, much more likely is that you've got involved with somebody or somebody's actively

given you something. Oh my God, what if I get involved with somebody? So you take a lover, Emeldof's, and he says, because that could be from anywhere, that could be from anywhere. That could be from anywhere. It's not absolutely clear what country you're in. Absolutely. And Emeldos says, please can you take back, this is a gift for you.

Then I have to be like, that's not, yeah, check it for drugs. Yeah. Basically, always check it for drugs. Always check it for drugs. And then or just be like, no, thank you, Imelos. This is, our love is my memory. I have a boyfriend. At the airport, as soon as you're out of sight, you just go up to the nearest check-in person

and you say, I can't, I'm nodding and I'm smiling because he is not very far behind me. There is a lot of drugs in my bag. Great. Oh, great. Okay, I'll do that. We've come out of the bat with some really relatable hot tips. So that's the drug chat, everyone. That's the drug chat, the way.

I'm glad to do that first. So people have a chance just to switch off and be like, that's not relatable to me or to anyone I know. Bob back in with your general concerns, because I think is, I think a lot of people have the sort of dining alone. A lot of the tips were all about things with like, so Lucinda Darby said, it's highly recommended to stay in a hostel.

Because even then, like, for example, me. Okay. No, no, a hostel is probably just one giant bed bug, and it will be, there'll be one bed, to share it, and then a man will, I don't know, assault me, that's not what a hostel is. Okay. A hostel is literally there to be safe and fun for travellers. Have you ever stayed in a hostel? Yes, and it was at, yes, but I've seen both sides. I've seen a very bad hostel and a fine hostel, but a very bad hostel just completely overrode

anything in the world. On that, though, there's a Neve-Walsh message and said to check reviews religiously, because you should make sure that the hostel that you're staying in, it has glowing reviews regarding things like safety, and it's very easily walkable at night. So it's not like down a dark alley or like in the middle of nowhere. Unless you're staying in the middle of nowhere, then that's where the place is. Yes. Reviews your friend, you know, the internet is such that you can cross-reference a million different reviews and get yourself on Tripaviser, read from cover to cover, but also like just talk to other people, you know.

Yes, and that's the thing, once you're in one hostel, the reason that so many people, so many people said to stay in a hostel is because they, like, it's sort of like fresh as week. Everyone's like, hi! And you just have to make friends. People just like, come over here. So I've travelled extensively by myself in South East Day. Asia and I never had dinner by myself. You just meet other people on buses. You meet people in the hostel.

You meet people who are like, oh, hey, do you want to be pals? And then you become great friends for one day. And then you're like, goodbye. I'm off now. So you do just, and certainly the more, the further afield you are, the more people do that. So it happens less, you know, in Paris. Sure. Nobody, you know, wants to be your friend there.

But, you know, in the deepest, darkest, you know, the jungle, someone will come up and be like, oh, hey, a hey person who's not from here. Yeah, especially if there's like someone also speaks the language that you speaks. And it's like, oh, great. Now, you know, but even if they don't, there's like a lot of people said as well to just try and kind of learn basic phrases. Absolutely. Where you're going?

Because it's not all, it's not just about how to travel alone. It's about going on holiday. In China, I just learned how to say, oh, not too spicy, thank you. And how much is that? And then, no, that's too much. I'm a teacher. We don't know how I take that girl for a ride because she's a teacher. She's a teacher.

She can say it. And she can say it. So. A lot of people said as well, so Beth, who's to handle us floaty goat. Oh, lovely, Beth. She said, I did all the things that nobody else would want to do, so stuff that only I like, really obscure places, and just imagined how bored my travel partner would be by my days. So lovely. That's very liberating, and that's why lots of, when I was reading all the tips and stuff, it may be really like, that is actually really nice.

The trick is to not get yourself into the mindset of, like, oh, this, imagine how fun this would be if I had any friends. And to be like, look at all the things I can do because I'm on my own. Yes. And therefore if I meet some cool people, I can do this thing with them. If I want to just, oh, I'm tired, I shall sit down. For as long as I like. I want to go to this museum. I don't want to go to that museum.

I want to go and I'm going to spend as long there as I like. I don't have to say, what do you want to do now? And also, it's a way of, in a way that I understand people are very scared of doing, but you know, you should push through that fear of being like, I don't want to get to know myself. Like, what if I'm awful? Yeah, that's true. But also, do you think, are you of the opinion that, like,

everyone should travel alone at some point or like everyone should go on holiday by themselves? Yes, 100%. Yeah. I... Just like to try it. Just to try it. But also to like see just what you're capable of and what you like doing and all these

you know, experiences you have... I think it's important to say it's fine if you don't like it. So it's funny if you do it and you're like... You're like, actually I prefer to be with other people. There's always going to be good bits and bad bits. So you will have a good time at some point. Yeah. But you, maybe the overall experience, you go, okay, I'm not going to do that again. But maybe I'll try this again.

like maybe I'll... Exactly. And I think like we've talked about before about the difference being like, oh, I don't and I can't. So someone being like, oh, I couldn't travel alone. To be like, oh, I don't travel alone anymore. That's actually real power. It's a real power to be like, oh, yes, I've done it lots, but I don't. I don't want to. But if it's in any way, you're thinking, oh my God, I wish I could, but I can't. You can. You absolutely can. You absolutely can. Yes, yeah, absolutely. Also, Josephine Wilson had a funny tip, which was start the holiday that you're planning to go on your own with a large group of friends, say six plus and you'll be so annoyed with the constant faffing over food and activities,

but the solo element will feel like a dream when you get to make your own choices. Yes. Yes. That's my favorite one. That's, yes. Part of my passion for it is that I was in Cambodia by myself, met different people along the way. My friend Sally was teaching in China, and so I was like, I'm getting myself to Sally.

You know, that was my goal, and then I would meet friends. So a week into it, I was at the bus waiting to go somewhere in Cambodia, and these group of boys, who I had made friends with the night before in the hostel, said, oh, we're going south, do you want to come? And I was going north. They said, oh, we're going south, do you want to come? And I said, yes. And the thrill of being like, yes, I can change my plans.

I'm going south with these boys from the hostel. And they weren't actually that fun. And then I went north again. But the exciting bit was not the going south. The exciting bit was being able to be like, yes. I'm making that choice. Yes, I do. I'm doing that now.

And that was thrilling. And I think intoxicating. You know, especially if you've never, ever had an experience where you were totally basically the master of your own fate. Yeah. And that can also be down to like the smallest decision. So say like you get like an Airbnb and like, I don't know, deal outside of London. And you're like, I want to have a takeaway again tomorrow night.

Exactly. I'm going to order the exact same thing. Yes. Very free. Thrilling. And obviously be a free spirit who can just go south with the boys. But... Be a safe spirit.

Firstly, obviously be safe. You're smart. I believe in all of you that you are very street smart. And you're much more street smart than you believe yourselves to be. Yes, lots of people said go with your gut. So if you're like, this doesn't feel right. It's not right. Then leave.

Yeah. Just leave. but take precautions like someone said put passport and a debit card in your bra pretty much at all times if you ever going anywhere because you can survive if you get back in the hostel's been like you know broken into and everything's gone yeah you can you can survive with those two things yes exactly and space out your money things so if it's one's in the backpack ones in your bag so everything all your treasures are not together in one place so if they go everything's gone and also money in like uh your tampon box so like

famously a place that nobody checks. So emergency funds basically all over the shop. Oh, that's excellent. Just be covered in cash from Hentter to... Right, A, be dripping in cash. Absolutely dripping in cash. Yeah. Sorry, you were saying something else.

Sorry, I was talking about your day that like keep it open to spontaneity, but do not allow yourself to have days. They're just like, a bit too much spontaneity today, actually. Nothing in the plan. So like, you know, have things to do. If anything, fill it with too much stuff. So then you're like, fuck it.

But don't allow yourself. to and try and do all that prep in advance so that you don't wake up there in a place be like, oh no, what am I doing? Why am I here? You will often have like a morning kind of realisation. A hundred percent. And when it happens, be like, oh yes, I was prepared for this. They said it would happen. It happens to everybody. Yeah. And that can be again, to bring it to just like normal little breaks away or weekends away. That could be like the third day and you wake up and you're like, I don't, I don't know what to do today. Oh no, I'm doing fun wrong. Yeah. I'm robin. I'm doing fun wrong. Yeah. That's actually something.

that Sean tweeted about don't feel like you're doing fun wrong. Thank you, Sean. I think that's a very nice little pithy statement that you can say to yourself when you wake up anywhere, when you're alone and you've decided to do this very, like, powerful, assertive thing of going away.

And then you're like, oh, I'm a bit small. Then you can be like, that's fine. It's acceptable to feel like that. You're not doing it wrong. Just ask yourself, okay, but what would make me feel better? Shall I have a cocktail? It's 10 a.m. You can have a cocktail. A friend of mine would watch friends a lot

when you went to Mexico. She was like, I didn't want to the first time, but I realized, I'm just still me, I'm just in Mexico, and friends really calms me down. So it's like, great, do that. Exactly. Not everything will be this great eat, pray, love, transformative experience. Eat, pre love has got a lot to answer for. Certainly does. And quite a dull book, I'm saying it.

And also, when people come back and they tell their amazing stories, which you will definitely have. And even if they're, like, disaster stories, that, like, some of my favorite stories that people tell were born from, like, absolute chaos. So Amanda tweeted us and said that she travels solo a lot. She recently discovered food tours and she's kind of obsessor and I didn't realize that was a thing. You get to see a city a bit and you eat tons of food and you meet really interesting people along the way. And I think if that, if you're thinking, yes, then do a food tour. But also there's a lot, it kind of opens up. There's lots of different type.

You can do like a wine tour somewhere. You can do lots of different sort of activity-based holidays that then throw you into with the mix with like other people. One of my favourite tips is Caroline O'Donoghue, friend to the podcast. Develop a soft. self-narrative around being a beautiful, mysterious stranger that everyone is wondering about, like Madame Bees you in Titanic. Who is that? You'll know exactly what I mean.

She's attached to picture. The big lady, who says, my son will have something to fit you. Yeah, and it's like, who is she? What's her story? That's a fish knife, boy. That's her story. The Unthinkable Molly Brown. Yeah, I think that's quite helpful.

There was a lot about, like, if you feel weird about eating alone, but I think if you are frightened, just, like, do it in stages. So if you're really like, I can't even have dinner alone, how am I going to even go on holiday alone? Maybe the first one is a good one is to go and see like a film on your own at the cinema because that's like the easiest one, but some people do feel weird doing that. We actually did a podcast and we were like, black it

and then no one knows the difference, then you'll feel like that anyway. So I was like, I'll just like, like, I'll just like, I'll just like dinner. It was the best of had dinner by myself at like quite a busy restaurant. I was like, yeah, a table for one place. It's again, I don't, I can't. It's like, I'm on my own and I'm on my own. I'm a powerful woman dining at. I actually help me.

I actually helped me because it was in like Soho and I just sort of imagined that I was like a woman that lived around the corner in like a very expensive house. I'm just like, probably time to eat at roses' tie tonight. But also now it's kind of, I don't really think twice about it. And I think that shows the merit in kind of little stages. So maybe don't go for like two weeks in Russia when you can't go to Nando's by yourself.

Yeah, starred Nando's. Cinema number one. Number two, Nando. Nando's. Number three, a fancier restaurant, that's a bit busy. Yes. And part of you will be like, there's got a waiting staff situation.

I shouldn't wait. They shouldn't make them wait for just one. Yeah. No, they should because you're giving your top custom. Maybe then next, like a weekend to wait, somewhere not far from where you live. Just like a place that you'd be like, I'd quite like to go to, but I'm Margate.

Well, I'll go there alone. But so many people that have got in touch being like, yeah, I make sure that I go away at least once a year by myself. That's so nice. And I think that's really, really cool. Because I think it's, it just shows a level of self-acceptance and calm that they must get from that. that it sort of teaches you to have if you don't have it, I think.

Absolutely. And I think genuinely doing this podcast has taught me something about myself. I did not know that I... Please. In my default setting in a group is to be like, no problem. I'll be the easygoing one. Wherever we're going. No problems.

I never say, like, I want to go here. I'm always just like, as long as everyone else is happy, then I shall be silent. Which to me was like, what a useful, low-maintenance gal I am. But really, what it meant was like, I didn't know anything about myself. And I don't know where I'd like to eat. And so therefore being alone forces you to be like, what things do I? What things do I like Thai food? Or do I just say yes? Practical tips. Obviously, the men on Twitter came in with some good practical tips.

Oh, of course. Thank you. We're like, laugh yourself. Imagine that you're mad and biji on the Titanic. Kieran says, do your research on local transport options, especially in Europe. You can get around really easily and very cheaply and minimize your packing because obviously like you're the only one who's going to see you. And I think that's so crucial because so often. when you go to a holiday, like, you don't think that you're, that you're packing things, you're like, well, there'll be a night from the town, and I've got to wear my,

always pack a pair of heels, but for what? For what? Why? They take up so much space, and you don't want to, and actually, when you get to the holiday, you will only wear heels if, like, you're with a group of friends and everyone else is wearing heels, and you'd be like, well, I guess I'll wear my heels. If you're, you're, no one wants to wear heels on holiday, really, did they? Sonia said, a friend went on a very sweet Tinder date. He met a nice girl who showed him around and took him to all of the local hangouts,

and then they also got to practice their different languages. Oh, perfect. Really great. And I was going to be like, but be careful on Tinder, but don't, I'd be like, you have to be careful on Tinder anyway. So just because it's in Croatia, it doesn't mean Tinder's any worse. Patrick Healy said a phone and a charger is such an absolute must. And as long as that's the case, you can just wandering and get lost because you know that you have, like, in one of those adaptable, those portable. And top tip, you just need to bring your adapter plus an extension cable.

So with the British plugs in it. So then you can plug all your stuff into the... Everything. My response is to just put out the word that you are going, unless this is a secretive abscondion in which you wish to be alone with your thoughts. If you don't, then, you know, put it on whatever social media you happen to have or just tell people you are going because somebody's weird cousin will also be there. Weird but, like, fun.

Weird but fun. Or indeed, weird. And you will, by this point, you will be so thrilled for interaction and for somebody to, like, show you the ropes that you will take absolutely anything. So your bar for level of friend will go down so far. That's interesting, yeah. And also you don't ever have to see them again. Like if they won't take you for one drink, you know. Then you found a nice bar that you can go to with someone else who's less weird, for example.

Exactly. Like if the weird cousin's like, let's go here. Like, well, the place is good. The conversation was quite poor. Yeah. I'll come back again. And then you return back to you're like, oh, thank God I can be on my own again. I've left this fool.

Yeah, that's true. And I think if you do sort of try and force yourself to go out and to go and do the stuff. even they're like, I'll just stay in. And I know, do that if that is what you need to do. But if you can, like, ride through that and be like, I'm going on the walking tour. I'm doing the stuff. I'm going to see the music.

Read the tourist guides and be like, what are some fun places? Like, I'll never see. Yeah. I'm strapping in. Two, three years ago, me and Claire, hello Claire, went to Colombia and had an amazing time. In Medellin, every single person we met told us to go on this walking tour.

And we were like, boring. Like, why would that be the number one thing to do? And people had said it, you know, constantly. So we're like, fine, we'll go on. the walking tour. It turned out to be so fun. It's like three hours long, you walk all over the city. It was free. At the end, you gave tips and you stopped. You got food. You saw the stuff. Like it really was an amazing thing to do. And I believe that company, the, it's called free walking tours, it has now become sort of global. Oh, great. So go to walking tour. So just Googling like the

talk, you know, and they don't have to be the, they don't have to be a fortune. So the flip side of that is that at my cousin's wedding in Cancun. People were going out on these like day trips and paying $200 to go on the bus to Chichenitsa, the ancient Aztec temple or over. And we were like, you can pay one peso and go on the bus. Like, you don't have to do this. You know, but people are like, no, no, no, we want to be protect. We want to go on the safe way. And we were like, these minibuses drive up and down this trip.

You just flag them down at any point on the freeway and they will pick you up. And it costs so little money. And you feel like really part of it. Yeah. But if you always go with the like, you know, the clinical, like, this is the tour with lunch included to this thing. And it costs hundreds of dollars. Like, you'll never really feel part of it.

of it you'll only ever be seeing this very like clinical. And it's not flexible. So if you're not flexible, well, we're leaving at six. Yeah. Well, I don't want to. And we saw those buses getting off at Chishinitzitza and people were like, okay, you've got 40 minutes and then it's like back on the bus and you're like, what if you want, you can't go to an ancient one of the world's great wonders.

And they'll be like 40 minutes and then and then back on. Yeah. Rubbish. Right. The final tip that I had, which is from Neve, I really like this. It's just eat something. If you feel like shit, you're probably hungry. I was in Rome, really overwhelmed by sadness.

And I had a bowl of pasta. and was like, oh, there it is. I think that's really clever. Just have a snack. That's exactly. Honestly, you're probably hungry. Yeah. Or keep hydrated.

Yes. If it feels like it's a meltdown, have a little snack. I know. So that's how to travel alone. I mean, it's not an exhaustive amount of tips, but I feel like I want to travel alone now.

Like, I'm going to... Me too. I'm probably going to, because I just maybe book some sort of like Airbnb and like Cornwall and just go and just really like experience the kind of countryside, you know? But I also think you should attempt like... Russia.

Yeah. I think you should do it in stages. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You've done cinema nando's fine dining and now you're at weekend away. Yeah. Great. Though to do attempt the moving place, you know, so that the travel aspect of it. So you don't have that.

I'm just alone in this house. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. You know, put that in place for yourself to be like, I'm doing this one night here and one night in the next place. When you wake up in the morning, when it's like, and now what? You're like, well, and now going to the next place. And then that's the objective of the day.

So I think that's what you're trying to. always put in place as like, there's a objective of the day, that somebody will be like, well, they didn't show up to their reservation, they didn't show up to their booking, whatever. There's an objective to the day. And you can fuck them off,

but at least you don't wake up and think, it's the abyss and then this bed again, you know? And for four more nights. And four more nights of this, and that's the point where you start to go slightly crackers. Okay, interesting. So different nights. Or maybe I'll try,

and maybe I'll be like, I can do four nights in a place. Oh, do it. And I'm fine. It would be interesting to know. I would like to just sort of like experiment, you know? Thank you so much for listening. It's been pleasure. I really, really hope if you've thought about not doing it,

then now you think, maybe I could. Yeah, that's the one aim, I'd say, apart from getting me to go. That's the one aim. That's my main objective is that you go on the Transylberian Express. My second objective is that you, listen, go to Nando's alone. If you think, I can do that, then go to Nandoz alone, guys. We are at Nobody Panic pod. Please do tweeters, followers, whatever. I'm at Stuvia. M.E.M. The S. is five. Tessa Coates. Just your classics. Just, you know, her name, essentially. Classic Gregorian alphabet.

bet. Okay. And we will see you next week and thank you so much for listening. Bye-bye.