Nobody Panic - How to Understand Shared Ownership with Lola-Rose Maxwell

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

Stevie and Tessa are joined by improviser and actor Lola-Rose Maxwell who has just bought via shared ownership. Stevie is interested in the possibility and so asks a lot of questions. There is a quiz involving Ryan Gosling that reveals a lot about Tessa's motivations. A lot of helpful advice in this episode for anyone wondering if shared ownership is for them.Lola's improv show 'The Improvised Play' will be at The Arcola Theatre, London from 5-9 March 2024. For tickets and information head to arcolatheatre.com.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. I'd like to buy a house but I still want to share it with me. No. Okay.

With someone. I don't really understand. This is a podcast where we do how-toes. I'm Stevie. I'm Tessa. Hello. Hello. And we have someone with us who's going to talk to us about shared ownership.

It's Lola Rose Maxwell. Hi, guys. We've never met before. No, we've never met. I'm a big fan, no. I'm a big fan. You've got so much Riz. Thank you.

I don't actually know what that is. It's charisma apparently. Oh, okay. Shit. Okay. Can you cut that out. I know what that is. It's important to keep it fresh and raw, vulnerable and honest,

so people immediately when they're listening know we can trust her. Can I say something actually? Yeah. Imagine you'll say many things. I actually listen to this podcast all the time. Like when it first came out as the debrief and then when it changes to nobody panic and I listened to your book and I loved it and then me and Stevie, it is Stevie, isn't it?

Yeah. Became very good friends and I don't listen to it anymore because it feels weird now. I understand that. But it's a big on. for me to be on this. Because I think it's such a great podcast and I think you guys are just brilliant. If you're thinking, I do recognize that voice from where you'll have seen Lola and Stevie do. They're amazing and viral sketches.

Thanks. I did, I'm enchanted to hear that the men, the bickering men in the comments, one of whom furiously was arguing with the other men saying, no, it's not two women, it's one woman wearing a wig, which I love so much. Which one? But which one does he think is... No, we'll never know. No, we'll never know.

So you will have also, if you're thinking, if you're watching this on a video, and you're thinking like, have we been filmed? A bit, yeah. But we won't tell you where the cameras are, so you'll never know. Lola's also, you can see you are on Starstruck,

the excellent rom-com series. You are banging on Starstruck. Lola recently bought a flat, and I'm absolutely obsessed with talking to her about it. I haven't said anything, because I'm so jealous. So I really want to discuss this. But also, before we start anything, Lola is doing an improvised play at the Arcola.

It's the coolest London theatre. The play is completely improvised. You did it at the Royal Court, didn't you? And it was like, it was amazing. Sold out show at the Royal Court. It's really great. We get the title of the play, the location of the play,

and the decade the play is set from the audience. And then we improvise a two-hander for 60 to 70 minutes. How incredible. It is excellent. It is really fun. and it is pure improv. It sounds fantastic. Do you know what else sounds fantastic?

What? Your new shared ownership. Yes. So you've recently bought a flat? I have. Do you feel electric? I really do. So I have, I really feel amazing.

And literally every day I'm looking out of my floor to ceiling windows being like, I can't believe I own 25% of these windows. That one's mine. That one's not mine. Now, we had discussed, we've discussed. the house buying process on a podcast before. And we address the topic of shared ownership, to which I say, you know what, Stevie? I don't know. So here we are. Okay. So, couldn't be more thrilled. I split it into three sections to make it palatable. Oh, wow. What a professional.

So I, because the thing is, it is, it is very complicated. And I think the first thing you need to do is decide if it's right for you. I actually have created a small quiz. First question, do you like to, it's multiple choice. Oh my God. Okay. Do you like surprise it? is A, no. B, boo! That's yes. Or C, Ryan Gosling. Okay.

Second question. Which sex in the city boyfriend are you? Okay, yeah. A, Mr. Big. I can't you remember the relevance of this. B, Aiden. Oh yeah, no, I do remember. C. Robert Patterson.

He's not one, but C's sort of like, it will be revealed. I thought Aiden was the first name of Mr. Big, so that's already a huge number. I've seen it. I'm on C's on C's. I'm a halfway through season two. Okay.

I've only just joined sex. Aiden is. I don't doubt that it is. He's nice. Nice boy. Handy. Yeah. Good guy?

So Mr. B. His boyfriend is he? Carries. The nice one. Okay. Last question. You've been arrested for fraud and you need 10,000 pounds to bail you out.

Do you A. stay in jail? Do you B, call mom or your dad or your partner? Or C. William Shakespeare. One for the nerds. Okay. Um, I, yeah, I think I, yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool.

Okay, maybe I should have made that like a hundred thousand pounds, but anyway, all right. So, what have you got, Stevie? Okay, so I heard mostly A's. Most of the A's, yeah, mostly A, and then B. So number one, C, Ryan Gosling, number two, B, Aden, number three, C, William Shakespeare. Great, okay, so mostly C's mean you should listen more. That's not wrong. It's not wrong.

Very accurate. Obviously A's is you should do shared ownership. Oh no. This has gone really well this podcast ever. It's gone perfectly. Okay, right. Okay. Shall I explain why?

Yeah. No. No. Okay. I don't think we can wrap it up there. Do you like surprises? This is that one of the benefits of shared ownership over buying a house house or a flat flat is you know what you're in for. Okay.

Yes, it's potentially a little bit soulless. Yes, it looks the same as all the other ones in the building. But it's very unlikely you're going to suddenly have, oh, the roof doesn't work or the fireplace is full of rats. I literally live. I've only really ever lived in houses that you can buy for shared ownership. True. New build. Just don't ask anything off me. Already I've got questions.

Please. Why no rats in the chimney? If somebody. New build, hello. Chimney full of rats. My house riddled with asbestos. It's because they're new. So basically they're new.

They're new. They should be. I'll get onto this later because they're not all the same. They should be fairly well made. Like they are adhering to council regulations of the last five years rather than something that was built a very, very long time ago. That house might, like something that was built a long time ago might be perfect, but it's about the surprises aspect.

I think you know what you're in for. It might not be the best flat in the world, but you know what you're in for is my friend. Tessa couldn't have known what she was in for less. I couldn't know the amount of surprises. What kind of thing? Asbestos in every bit. Roof leaking to shit. Rat in the chimney.

Wasps nest in the wall. That's my worst fear. Lucky for me, I don't mind it. You don't mind it? You kept me right? Yeah, friends. They bear a bit of rent. No, no, somebody came obviously and got it.

But I was not. But you were okay. I didn't even tell Steve about it because I was like, don't mention, don't mention the wasps. Wherever you buy, there's nowhere's going to be perfect. Like, unless you're a multi-month. multi-millionaire. So, like, you have to kind of better the devil you know, I would say.

That is so interesting and wise. Or, or I think in your case, the, actually, if I may, please. You got the right flat for you. 100%. Because you love a lot of, that stuff.

Genuinely, yeah. It's true. I'm like, asbestos. I've got to grab a chimney. It's a good anecdote. That's funny. It is, like, what kind of person are you? Like, I, like, my,

well, actually, this actually kind of ties into question too as well, which is which boyfriend do you like most in Sex and the City. Mr. Big, who is sort of rich and lives somewhere fairly swanky, or Aidan, who is good at DIY. As I know you are, Tess, I listen to that episode as well. I'm not good, but I am an enthusiast. Exactly.

If you're, I've never put up a shelf. I've only put up a picture with those sticky things that you put on the wall, which are not supposed to take any paint off. Perfect. They do. Yeah. And I'm not good at it. And my boyfriend, God bless him, isn't good at it either.

Right. and has a very, very stressful job. And it's just like not something we're interested in. So I was going to be like, as a builder. As a, he hates it. So if it's A, Mr. Big, you're like more like, I'll pay for someone to do that for me. There is a premium on these share ownership flats.

I think they're probably priced a little bit higher than they should be. When you say there's a premium, what do you mean? I mean, they're probably priced a bit higher than they should be. I was about to ask the question that I heard. C, learn to listen. Okay, yeah. They're a little bit more. Like, you're going to pay a bit more for a new shared ownership flat than you would for something in a masonette or something that was built a little bit further away ago in time.

Understood. But I think that is because you're not going to have to do the majority of the stuff in the house. Okay. The walls are already up. The roof's there. Like, you've got a warranty. Yes, Stevie has a question. So, how much can you decorate?

You can decorate as much as you want. You can paint the walls You can put those stuff up on the walls You can't do You can't do anything structural Interesting Is the thing So you can't, yeah

You couldn't knock a wall through Could I caveat that to say that I suspect With a new build That somebody's taken the time To like think through where the walls should go And me going, no wall there Not the best place Not that through

You're like Well that's the bathroom Why? Why not? The wall's toilet I say just kicking the wall down So when people knock through a wall, it's often to... A bit of thoughts gone into it.

Yeah, but like, so maybe it was a badly thought through, you know, or it's a very old, it's a hundred-year-old house that's now like, okay, it's not really fit for purpose anymore. That's not this through. Whereas something that was built in the last year, someone's really taking the time to be like, this is a sensible layout for a house, and you don't need to be knocking those walls through.

Absolutely right. But again, it's all about you and what you want. And the last question, which is basically a nice way saying like can you rely on your parents for money which is why I'm surprised you want to be yeah yeah because I thought I'd panic so much and I'd just be like please help yeah it wasn't a good question they'd say um no yeah just and I feel like I gave that but yeah sorry um it's literally just um how much of a deposit do you have if you have a slightly slightly less money in your bank account or savings or you want to keep more liquid um then

go for shared ownership because you can do a lower deposit. Having said that, and this is the boring bit. Okay. I think financially, and I'm not a financial advisor, but I did get an A-Star in Massachusetts. That's not nothing. It's not nothing, is it? I think at this present moment in time because interest rates are so high,

it has never made more sense to do shared ownership. Right. Because the amount I am paying in rent of the 75% is less than I would be paying on a mortgage for a house worth maybe six, 60% of what I've bought the flat for. I've just lost my... Okay, so that's where you lost us, right. So let's just circle back a little.

Backreel spiral. You used to be able to, and I'm going to throw out some random figures that don't, just to illustrate a point. Yes. But these are not right. Okay. I'm literally just making them up as I go. Okay.

You used to be able to buy a flat, say, for like 500 grand, right? And pay a thousand pounds a month because that was the interest rates were lower. When you mean, they used to me like 100 years ago or like, No, no, like five years ago. Right, sorry. Because interest rates were like 2%. 2%. Now, because they're more like, I think, 8%.

5% or something like 8. Tracker is, as in the current... Something called the fixed rate tracker, which is in line with the Bank of England. Yeah. So it's constantly fluctuating is currently at 8%. Shit. Which is deranged.

That's mad. And probably a bad deal, I would say. Very, I'm just telling you what the current Bank of England one is. And people have... Yeah. You can be smart and try and... do smart things, but you wouldn't, I think, go less than like five at the moment. Yeah, I think I'm paying five at the moment.

So now if you were to basically, your monthly payments will be more because the interest rate is higher. So you think, oh, I bought a flat for £100,000. I'm paying off a grand a month. That's going to take me 100 years and I would have paid it back. No, because you're buying that flat for like $200,000 because of interest. Right. Okay, the interest adds more to the final sum total that you end up paying.

Right. So that means your monthly payment, a lot of that is interest. Right. I see. So you're either paying interest or you're paying rent. I see. And with shared ownership. You're paying rent and a little bit of interest.

Okay. But less interest because your loan is less. I see. Okay. Yes. So basically if I bought a place for 400 grand, my monthly, I wouldn't have been able to afford the monthly repayments. But because I bought a place that it's absolutely. worth more than that. The rent is 75% of it. The rent, which is like I think about 800

quid a month, is way less than what I would be paying in interest. I see. Yeah, that is the, whenever I've looked at shared ownership, like that's been the huge pull of it. So may we spiral back even further? Please. To be like, who are you sharing it with? The Lord. The Council. The Council. Yeah. So basically you pay your rent to the Council. and you pay your interest to the bank. Okay, so let's say, so we've got a block of flats. There are 100 flats in the block.

Love it. Too many? No, that's probably, yeah, I think that's probably about right. And we've recently built this whole block brand new. Okay. So I'm not asking, I'm not saying I'm asking. Oh, yes, that is correct. Okay, yeah.

You're like, cool. The council have. Yeah. The council have built these flats. Yes. Okay, very nice. And there's about 100 flats. and no one's ever lived there.

Exactly. And people can just buy them up front, or they only shared ownership in this? So what they generally do, so I'm not the expert on this, but basically I think what happens is when the council or when a building company, apply to the council to be like,

can we build this block of flats and you can manage them? Right. Because it's not literally like the admin team from the council going down and building them brick by brick, you know, they will say the only way they're able

to do that in that council is if enough of them are affordable housing. I think for my building, for instance, the first five floors are shared ownership. Everything above that is private ownership, which means you just buy it outright. Got it. If you buy shared ownership within a year, like, well, actually pretty much the next day, if you wanted to, you can buy it outright if you've got the money. Ah. Yeah, so it's not like you're tied into that.

I'm called staircases. It absolutely is, Stevie. Thanks for asking. So what's staircaseing? You're already in the house and then you... Yeah, you might want to buy 50% of it. But what I would say, and this is what I got told, and I believe to be true, if you're...

What we did, we bought 25%, because within the first two years, we're not 100% sure we want to live there for 15 years, 20 years. So we started at 25% because it's easier to sell at 25% or 100%. If you're going up to 50%, 60%, 70%, 75%, it's hard. it's harder to sell to a new person. Yeah, that was, that was the thing. So I was before when I was like, yeah, that attracted to me to this shared ownership thing.

I was really excited and I was like, this is, I've hacked it. Like, I've actually hacked the system. No one knows about this. But then my friend who has done shared ownership was like, is unable to sell her house, a flat. I think she actually has now, but she was just like, oh my God, it's a nightmare.

But I think she's at 50%. And why do people not like 50%? I think basically, order to get approved for a mortgage and and and uh rent like 25% is better than 50% it's like easier to like get by the bank if you're a first time buyer if i think that's it i'm not so do you also have a mortgage yeah so i have a mortgage for 25% right and then i pay rent on 75 okay so the mortgage is totally separate to what you pay the council exactly so right let's say that one of these two got you 100 flats in the block bottom five floors

all shared ownership and let's say they cost 100,000 pounds. Loll. Loll. And then they go for sale for 25,000 pounds. So you owe and then the other 75,000 pounds. The council owns, yeah. And do the council have to pay that money to the building people who made it?

It's a really good question. I actually don't know the answers to that. So you get your mortgage for that 25,000 and then you are paying an extra, and you're never paying off that 75 difference. Not unless you staircase up. Not unless you staircase up. And when you staircase up,

Because that, you basically go through the process of remortgaging. So you get a mortgage again. But it's easier because you're not a first, technically first time because you've already done it. That's what people say. Right. I haven't stacased up. There's also a thing here. You've been there three months.

Why haven't you staircase? There's also a thing here with stamp duty. Oh, gosh. Which makes my brain hurt. But basically, you don't have to pay stamp duty on a house that's worked. I keep saying a house when I say money flat. always do that on something if you're a first-time buyer you've got a bigger amount you don't have to pay stamp duty on okay um and if you're not a first-time buyer so if you remorgeted for instance and went move to a new

property you have to pay stamp duty on uh more like basically you have to it's really hard to explain but you won't have to do remember but basically if you staircase up and up and up you can get to 80% without paying any stamp duty at all oh that's nice yeah but yeah i think the main thing thing is decide if it's right for you. If you're someone who has the same money coming in every month and not a huge amount of savings, shared ownership, I think, makes a bit more sense. If interest rates stay where they are, I think it still makes a bit more sense. I think if they go massively down, which fingers crossed, then I think it probably is a bit of a rip-off. Right. How come? Because you'd be paying more rent than you would interest.

Okay. So that rent you're paying to the council could be going to the bank as interest. on a bigger loan. That's where you want to be staircasing up so that you're paying more money in. God. It feels like no matter what you do, unless you can get that hundred. The man is going to fuck you up the ass.

Yeah, the man's going to, unless you've got 100,000 pounds in cash, in a bag ready to go to buy your house outright, you're going to have to be paying somebody for the help that they've given you. So either you're going to be paying the bank to say thank you for this loan or you're giving the council your rent money.

So either way, you're setting fire to a large chunk of money. money every month that goes to something to nothing to nothing i don't mean to nothing i mean no you doesn't belong to you you have to give it away to somebody either as interest or as rent and so it feels like if um out and out mortgage of a 500 000 pound flat is completely absolutely out of this world then maybe this is a is an option exactly and with rents going the way they are i'm paying less now yeah than the one bedroom flat i moved out of has just been rented for it's just yeah our rent just keeps basically going up by like hundreds every time.

And it's in March, just going up by another like couple hundred. And it's now become like, it's just a joke how much I pay. Like it's actually just, it's untenable. It's a good way of staying in London and getting... I think so.

Put it in real figures for you. Basically, I'm paying off, I think, £100 a month of the actual flat. Right. My outgoings are, I think, my flat and my mortgage is about,

1,700 a month, maybe 1750 a month, including service charge, which we'll get onto. It's a two-bedroom flat in Waltham Stowe. My old flat was a one-bedroom flat in Waltham Stowe. I was paying 1350 a month. I moved out. It was rented within a week to somebody else at 1850 a month. Yeah, that's what's happening, yeah. So we're paying less.

Yeah. So it's like, yeah. Okay. I also think, just to caveat this, it's really unfair on people who are single. Oh my God. It's impossible. Yeah. Because you get so much, yeah.

The, you mentioned service charge. So you have to pay the service charge. Yes. So that is included in your financial assessment, like whether they will give you a mortgage or not. So they do an affordability assessment when you're applying for a mortgage. You probably covered this in your one. But basically it's like, how much can you afford to borrow? The service charge is included in that.

So they're like assessing you how much you can pay a month out of your income. and they include the rent that you'll pay and the service charge that you'll pay. This brings us on to the next section actually. You've decided that you want to buy one. You decided it's the right choice. Go and see as many as possible. You'll have to buy off plan

because all the good ones go. That means before it's been built. Oh my God. Oh, God. So you have to see a show flat. Okay. Which is their like best version of what the flat could be. Right.

Do not be fooled by the show flat. They will show you a three, bedroom flat when you're buying a one bedroom flat. They will show you it with the most beautiful furniture in. They will, like, it's, it's gorgeous and you're like, well, this is great. I can definitely live here.

When you actually get your one, it will obviously just be empty and it wouldn't be, you have to check the floor plans, see what the actual layout will be. Ask them about the finishes. Like, is it the same finishes, same flooring, stuff like that? And ask them how often it will be cleaned, the building this is, not the

flat. If the windows will be cleaned, what the service charge is and how much does it cover? Right. So like what exactly is involved in that service charge and get it in writing? Because they will really try and ramp that up and tell you things were included that weren't included. And this happened to everyone, I know. Okay. Okay. So the first time you set foot in your flat was after we'd already, so we reserved it in January. We moved in in October. October. And you, until you stepped foot in it, you hadn't, you'd already bought it by the time you saw it for the first time. Yeah, we reserve, you reserve it for like 500 quid, I think. And then you go through the process. Be prepared to wait is the other thing I would say, because they

said it was going to be ready in July. Oh no, it's going to be August. I know it's going to be, like, and we were quite lucky. I've heard other people waiting for much, much longer. How much roughly is your service charge? I think it's about 250 quid a month. Okay. So it's not a small amount. It includes building insurance, cleaning, like lighting, the lifts, like all of that. Again, no surprises. Right. If there's a sinking fund in there, so if the roof does cave in, which is very unlikely, obviously,

but then we don't have to cover that. It's covered in the sinking fund. I was just going to say it's also, if you're thinking, I don't have having this. It's also just par for the course for a flat because the building has to have service charge. So I pay the same about £250 a month. Is this in cities specifically as well? I think it's any block of built a block that each individual, because it's like, so say you own your flat,

then it's like who's in charge of the stairwell? Of course, yes, it's like the stairs break, then it's just like everybody arguing being like, whose stairs are these? So that's just part of the place. And it's like the swanky of the place, the higher the service charge. Okay.

So if you're renting, there will, you'll be paying a service charge, but it will just be included in your rent. Okay, cool. So if you've got a concierge, it'll probably be more. or if you've got a pool and stuff and a gym it will be more. They're like, you're £1,000 a year.

And I'm like, for what? And then they say, it's for the sinking fund. I was like, what the hell is that? And they're like, in case we sink. I'm like, okay, I don't want any part of this. But it means that there's this, even if you don't, at the end of every year, a little like email comes around being like, this is how much money is in the sinking fund.

And it means like, should the roof cave in or some big crisis happen, it's like, no one has to fork out any money because every year everyone's been paying their money in. Right. So to be like, here's the money we've got, ready to cover a crisis. Exactly. Any flat will have any, yeah.

Okay, I understand. Another really good piece of advice I got, because you have to wait such a long time. And I said to my mate, Chris, I was like, I don't know whether to be pushy or to be nice. And he was like, be both. And it was excellent advice. Wow.

For life, actually. Yeah. Also for this, because you do need to be, you've got to be emailing. You've got to be asking questions. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Like, they, everyone in the process just assumes you've bought 11 houses before and know all of the lingo and everything.

I was not afraid to be like, what does that mean? Can you explain that in layman's terms to me? Like, thank you so much. Really appreciate it. Like, you know. And this is a really stupid question. Please. With shared ownership, is it the same in terms of like, with the mortgage advisor, you basically have someone, like, it's not a different process to buying a normal flat. It's just that. And did a mortgage advisor, advise that you get a shared ownership? Like, can you ask a mortgage advisor, like,

what their thoughts are if you're not sure? I didn't have a mortgage advisor. I think you could speak to a financial advisor about whether it is right for you or not. Okay. You can just walk into a bank today and be like, hello, what's the best mortgage you could offer me? And what they'll do is be like, what's your salary?

That's me tapping on a calculator. Yeah. They do times five and then they turn the calculator and they're like, that's how much we can offer you. Okay. Oh, right. The thing is, like, if the money isn't there, they can't manage.

more money like my guy I met his first question was have you got any assets and I was like I don't know he said if you got any assets we can leverage and I was like yeah probably what's an asset and he was and he said like a faberje egg oh my god no I haven't got a faberjay egg we can leverage unless you're in a better financial situation I think the average person probably is better off just not paying that broker fee and just going to the bank okay agreed absolutely agree with that I think Especially for shared ownership, because it is just an equation. It is your amount of money, I think, times 4.5. Is the amount you can borrow generally.

Minus, like, your things you have to pay out every month, like if you pay for a car or whatever. And then if you're playing with a partner or a friend or whoever, or however many people are involved, then that obviously adds in. Yeah. Double it up. Double it up. Come on.

Take a lover. Take a lover. Who's wealthy? Yeah. A wealthy lover. If they're not earning a thing. Yeah. Pointless. Mr. Big. Only, only...

Only Mr. Big, not Aiden. But he can build you a house. Yeah, also, I think he's probably quite wealthy, you know. Aidan. Yeah, probably. Because he's selling all those tables. Yeah, God, he's good at selling. One other thing, when you're looking, really annoyingly, unlike looking for a normal house,

you have to do a financial assessment every time you go to a shared ownership property to look at it. That's incredible. It's really annoying. It's not like a hard credit check, But I would just say, when you do your first one, put all of your figures and all of the things that you need in a folder on your computer, on a spreadsheet. And then when you go to do the next one, you just got them there. Because I didn't do that. That's so gross.

Why do they make you do that? I don't know. It's so annoying. And for some reason, they're all, like, slightly different companies. And I think, I think, like, it's something probably to do with they can get your information and then try and sell your mortgage afterwards. That's so crap. Yeah, you can't just turn up. I think sometimes they have open days,

but you usually have to be like, you know, can you afford it? Put in, you know, even like your passport and stuff like that, it's really annoying. Okay, that is very nice. That's very good. Great advice, though. Thank you for all.

Thank you. I wish I'd known. Oh, yeah, these are the, so the last one is the questions to ask. Yes. Okay. So the questions to ask, ask about the land. Oh, yes.

What about the land? Literally ask that question. barreling in to a question. three-bedroom show home. Is it built on ancient? Is it all the velvet like this and what about the land? Yeah, exactly. Like, ask about the land. Okay. And I mean that in the widest possible sense. Okay. Talk to me. No, I actually don't know anything more. Right. Okay. So, hang on. So why is that on the list? The land could be owned by somebody else. The land could be, there's lots of things about the land. And then you can Google it. Exactly. When they are, when they, so, and you go, oh, interesting, when they say something, you have no idea. And then you Google it. And then you find out, oh my God, that means that I have to pay more because of it. Yeah, I see.

Exactly. Right. Like, ask about the land. Is it on marshland, you know? Yeah, exactly. Stuff like that. Like, how close is it to flooding? Oh, that's good. Is it on an old, are they built on tunnels and it might all just collapse into the tunnels? Yes. Exactly. Land. Ask about the land. Okay. Second question you should ask is, what is the defects period?

D-E-F-E-X? D-E-F-E-C-T-S. So basically, if anything goes wrong in the first couple of years, it's on them because it's a new place. Brilliant. Brilliant. Again, no surprises. There also should be something called an 10-year NHBC. It's not that.

Some four-letter acronym. HSBC. HSBC warranty period. So because it's a new place, they usually will give you washing machine, fridge, cooker, all of that should be new. When you move in, you can register it, and they should all have a warranty

of a couple of years. something. There's also like if the wall breaks that that's on them. The wall's broken. It's stuff like that you don't have to worry about. Fixures, when can we put them in? So in relation to your decorating question, they, for some reason, and it's like a building-y type thing, maybe you'll know the answer to this, Tessa. They usually say don't paint within the first year because the walls are still like merging with the building. Okay. Spirited. They're like, yeah, like they keep, they're sort of going to move.

Like, it sort of settles into itself for a year. So your doors might not, all your doors might be like, oh, that's a bit, that's changing, like over the first year. Like, you've got to let it settle a bit. So they might say, please don't put anything into the walls for the first year. Okay. Wow. I have already put loads of them.

Sure. But, like, you know, whatever, it's mine. Yeah. Do what I want. Oh, and who manages the building? Oh, that's another question to ask. So ours is, ours is, um, Waltonstow Council. But, you know, there could, there are.

are like managing agencies as well and social housing agencies. If you Google any of them and I mean any of them, you will be severely disappointed by the reviews. Expect them not to be very good. They are not,

none of these people are good at managing a building. Right. Like we haven't had a, we haven't had a smoke alarm since we moved in. Okay. It's been two months. Okay. And like that, we reported it before we moved in, like when we went to sit.

So like, there is that. There's no surprises, but don't expect things to be fixed immediately. May I have one more question? Please. Say you win the lottery. Are you allowed just tomorrow to pay it all off and own the whole thing? And there's no date that says there's no rules. I think the only thing is there is maybe an early repayment charge on my mortgage.

On the mortgage, yes. But not to the... But not to the council. You can buy 100% of it straight away. So the council are just good guys. They're not going to fuck you over. They're more than happy for you to buy their... property. Oh, that seems really positive. Yeah, so you've got the freedom, I'd say,

to buy it all. And our plan is to try and buy it all or buy most of it, like in a couple of years, if we still like it. The problem is, it's very loud, we're on a main road. Right. Which I don't mind, because I'm the youngest of four, I'm used to noise, I like noise, find it very comforting. Kieran, on the other hand, hates it. Oldest of three. Olders of three, of course, hates noise. Residential Birmingham hates noise. It's noise. And yeah. But wherever you live, like you say, you're going to have noise.

Yeah. If it's animal noise. If it's an alleyway. Or the noise of silence, of course. The noise, which can be the most stifling, carnival. The deafening noise is silent. Wow. Wow.

As somebody who's self-employed. Yeah. And Kieran is employed. Employed. Did you get a sense of which is easier? Oh, definitely employed is. Yeah. Do you mean?

Sorry. In terms of mortgages. Yeah, definitely employed. They hate self-employed people. So shared ownership doesn't, it's not like, oh, it's actually a nice one because they like self-employed people. No, just no one really like self-employed people. I would say it's easier to get a shared ownership mortgage if you're self-employed because you have to borrow less. Oh, interesting.

Okay. But still less easy than employed. Not because it's shared-o, simply because it's less-eimploid. Being self-employed is a radical act. Yeah. We were lucky. I think like being one employed, one self-employed is quite nice. Okay.

Because I had money in the bank. because, you know, you get paid every year. And he gets paid every month. But, you know, neither of us are rolling in it. Like, we definitely don't have a lot of money, and it was the right choice for us. Great. I mean, it's obviously helpful if you're just too incredibly rich people,

but if not to be one cash pig and one cash cow. Yes. Cash pig, piggy bank. That's you. Ready to go. No job. Hard if the cash pig is the self-employed person, though, isn't it? You kind of want the cash pig to be the employed person.

No, you want the cash pig. Pig. It wasn't your cash pig? No, because the cash cow, you wait and then you milk the cash cow. Yeah, the cash cow. The cash cow is taller. That's how you remember. And they're looking ahead to the future.

So people are like, great, the cash cow is here. That's the employed person. But they haven't gotten, but the piggy bank is just waddling at the back. I'm saying, like, I might never have a job again, but I have got these pounds if that's helpful. Yeah. I see. Opposite of what I thought. Yes.

You think cash cow means like, oh, that's all the money. But cash cow means it's going to keep going. If you think of the milk as the money. Yeah. Think of the milk as the money. Think of the milk as the money. It keeps being regenerated. It's being regenerated.

But it's not ready right now. Whereas cash pig, they're like, yeah, I'm in my piggy bank. But once you break me, that's it. And I'm broken. That's all we've got now. And I'm broken. Yeah. spiritually, I've been broken by the industry. You've taken every penny I have in order to go into this house.

Yeah. I see. And that's a team option. God. But yeah, there is one other thing, actually, that I've just remembered is, you know what you get with the shared ownership place, especially in Walthamstow that you don't get with anywhere else out. outdoor space.

Do you? We have a balcony which they call a winter garden. Oh, I love it. And anywhere else we couldn't have got because you get like half a garden. Why is it a winter garden?

What do you do the rest of the year? I don't know. I've no idea why they call it that. It doesn't make any sense. You certainly can't go out there. It's not any warmer than a normal garden. It's freezing.

It's so windy. Yeah. And all you can hear is the bus is going by. Does it get any sun onto it? Barely any sun. That's why. That's why. That's winter garden.

Yeah. Maybe that's why it's got a roof as well. Winter Garden. I suppose they didn't want to call it like dark garden. Yeah. Dark sunless garden. The shadow garden. That I like actually.

Oh. Question four. How do you relate to the phrase the shadow garden? Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling. A positive or B. Ryan Gosling. This has been very informative. This has helped so much.

I'm so glad. I really wants to help. I can see that. But I also feel like I still. despite, I don't want to come across as all knowledgeable. No. Because I don't. I wouldn't worry about it.

What's the land? What's the land? My biggest fear is I'm too knowledgeable. Take it with a grain of soul. Absolutely. And I think happy, there are happier people than me that have done all of this and not looked into it as much as I have.

Yes. Like, I think if you want an easy life, you can just not listen to this podcast and just go in and be like, yeah, I think that's fine. No, no. I can't do that. Then you're screwed further down the line. I think so.

That's crazy. Everybody should be learning everything at every stage. Check cladding. Because a friend of mine is basically now just never going to be able to sell hers because I think anything built. Yeah. So if it's resale, check cladding. Anything built in the last couple of years, you're fine.

Your cladding's fine. But yeah, definitely, definitely. Sorry, that's a good one. Always got to end on cladding. Always got a check cladding at the end of every podcast. Yes. Regardless of the topic. I think the take home, cladding, land, but all generally be like, if anything feels too good to be true, be like, assume that it is.

Yeah. And then, and don't be afraid to like ask for help from the smartest people you know. Absolutely. And you desperately want to be like, I'm a business woman. I can do everything on my own. It's like, get help. Honestly, email me if you want. Email to the improvised play and ask me afterwards.

Shout it out. When people say, what's the name of the play? Ask a business question that you need and see if it's addressed within the play. It's shared ownership improv. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Because that if, what is improv? If not shared ownership.

Oh my God. Absolutely, Tessa. Wow. That's beautiful. It's got to make something you couldn't do by yourself. That's exactly what improv is. Wow. So go and see that on the 5th to the 9th of March, 2024.

At the Arcola. At the Arcola. Tickets.com. It's called the improvised to play. Thank you so much, Lola for coming in. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

It's such an honor to be on your brilliant podcast. Do you want to shout out your social media? Because I've forgotten it again. Yes, it's Twitter is at, sorry, X is at Lola Rose Maxwell. Oh, that's very easy. And Instagram is at Lola Rose Maxwell. One of the ELs is a one. Great.

Well, thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And go away and research, shared ownership and good luck. Yeah, best of us.