Nobody Panic - How To Up Your Christmas Present Buying Game

Episode Date: December 4, 2018

Struggling for what to get people this year? Stevie and Tessa look at what to get those difficult-to-buy-for people, those periphery people (hello brother's girlfriend's dog) and what to do when you have literally no money to get anything. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The date is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace. It's coming to London. True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September at King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. There are no night time to be afraid. On Christmas time, we're led in light and we banished shade. And in a world of plenty, we can still burn. Thank God it's them. Instead. Nobody panicked. That's Band-Aid.

Regardless of that. This is a podcast. Welcome. It's really excited. I've decided that for the entirety of December, I am Christmas. Okay, great. None of this like, it comes only around for a year. I'm like, great.

This year has been a bad news cycle year. You're getting in. I've got in. I've like ordered a Christmas jumper. It hasn't arrived. For the moment it arrives, I will be wearing it all the time. I saw some, they did look like children's pajamas. It said, jingle my bells.

Some of it is, because so much of it is so close. To balls. Yeah, like the ball stuff, stockings. Slots. Stop. What? I was saying a word to you. Ho, ho, ho.

Sit on my knee, down the chimney. Oh my God. Loads of it is really sort of rude. I always thought, call me crazy. Please. But the word bobble sounds like it should be a rude word. Not like how the clothes company, Gant, sounds like that should be a rude word.

But like, bobble sounds like boobs or like titties. Borb-a. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, your bobbles. Shake your baubles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so much of the stuff, like, you know, stuff, literally stuffing, everything is so sexual. Turky. Stocking stuff, like everything is rude.

Stockings are rude anyway. Yeah, exactly. Everything's rude. My dream is to have one of those. Have you ever seen White Christmas, the film with Bing Crosby? And he puts on like a big show for like the old army guys on every year. Oh, how lovely, no. You would love it.

Okay. But at the end, and it's not a spoiler, it's just a fashion choice. These two, the two girls in it, women, probably. They come out in these beautiful. long red sort of velvety dresses with long sleeves and then white trim. So it's like classy Mrs Claus. Oh beautiful. In those days you could just walk around wearing that. And that would be like nice dress whereas I can't walk around wearing that. So this is the thing. Of course you can. I could do but I feel like it's a waste like when you have a very good hair date and no one sees you.

Oh my God. I'm just Googling them. Oh my God. Yes. They're so beautiful. They're so beautiful. Okay. So that's my dream. There's no reason that you can't just own one of those. I will own one of those, but I do need it to be a big moment that everyone looks at me. I need that. Well, why don't you wear it to our Christmas due? Oh my God, maybe I will, because we're having a Christmas party. And we want you all to come.

It's in London, so I'm really sorry if you're not in London. But if you're like near London, come to the Christmas party. It's December 12th. There is a seriously high chance we'll be wearing these dresses now. They wear these dresses. Festive dressing is absolutely mandatory. We're going to be doing how to survive Christmas and everything that entails. It's going to be sponsored by The Economist, who are our great friends now. And, yeah, it's at Altitude, Millbank Tower, but you have to book ahead.

So if you go on our Twitter at Nobody DiPanicPol, or mine at Stevie Nessar 5 at Tessa Coates, then it's going to be pinned to all of our profiles. And I'm going to show Tessa how to pin a tweet. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll be busy making these outfits. Also, Tesla's making all the images for it and stuff, so thank you, Tesla. And yeah, we're basically going to be like announcing stuff about it between now and Wednesday, the 12th of December.

But we're really excited about it. So please come. What Christmas, that little thing you've been done this week of Christmas? It's not Christmassy. I know, but everything is because it's December. Okay, okay. I've been refusing to move out of the way for Christmassy men. You made that so crissue.

Christmas that you're so effortless. I have, Christmas you men. It's something I had been thinking about for a while. Yeah. How I automatically move on the street for people and there's not like, who will move? Sometimes they're just like barreling towards me. Yeah.

And then I read an interesting, and then by chance, well, because the internet is, you know, your Instagram is reading your mind. Of course, a study about the very thing I'd been thinking about privately popped up. Sure. And it was about how when studied, I think they sat at a train station, I believe, like a big busy station and watched people, how people interact and how women automatically move out the way

and men do not. And not to make sweeping gender statements, everyone, I'm sorry, but I have been practicing looking Christmassy men dead in the eye while I approach them and I won't be moving. I say with my eyes. How many men have you just walked straight into? No, I haven't made contact yet.

That's excellent. They've got out of my way, but they look astounded. I'm going to start doing that as well. Because I think about that all the time. There's a real like, whoa, why wouldn't you? And then I hope in their head they think, you're right. Why should she have to move for me?

Okay, cool. What's yours, Stevie? My adult thing is that listeners and fans of Dr. Alison Parker, the Herman's Tortoise will know that I've been winding her down for hibernation. I was so worried that I would get it wrong. I don't know, she wouldn't wind down. Obviously, within about three days of me turning off her UV and not feeding her, she basically started to hibernate

and that was great but we'd planned the fridge to arrive for when the vet had said and now she'll probably start to go under so we had no fridge we turned all the heating off so we were living in freezing cold temperatures but it was still 15 degrees and it has to

go down to five degrees we're like we can't give anymore so I've booked her in to a tortoise hotel in Harpenden it's called the Tortoise B&B it's got a Facebook page And you know when you can put like what the type of company is? The type of company is luxury hotel.

It's an amazing woman called Anne who has turned half of her house into just like a tortoise emporium. She has all these different tortoises and all these different little like sections. And then these two massive fridges that are perfectly temperatureed, perfectly temperature, perfectly placed to bring the tortoises down to the correct temperature. And she's just started like popping them in now because they're all winding down one by one. And what's great is Gary, Dr. Allison Parker's sister, my sister's tortoise, but they also are biological sisters, is also at this hotel because Gina's going to Australia. And I was like, we'll pop them in together. Oh, that is so good. So I got a photo the other day.

Of them in together? Well, no, they're not in together yet, but they're both very much asleep and in their shells and they have it all day. And so they're about to go in. As jobs go, manning the sleeping turtles is all right for tortoises. Sorry. Like, as jobs go, you just, they're honestly, you just pick him, you're basically just like manning some shells, like a shell collection, just checking on your shell collection every day. And what's great is, on their Facebook page, your cold shells.

The first tortoise, Donnie went in last week, he's the first tortoise to go. And they normally keep the fridge for wine. So there's just loads of wine bowls and then the tortoise in it. This woman has absolutely smashed it. She's absolutely smashed it, yeah. She's wonderful. And so if you have a tortoise and you're like, oh, we need to go away and none of my friends will look after my tortoise. It's really easy to get to you half a day.

For those listeners with the tortoise. There will statistically be at least one and it's my sister. She already knows about it. She's already there. I'm very nervous. Have you got some kind of marking on a daughter Parker? They all have name badges. So she has a little name badge on her shell.

I'm just terrified that the badge falls off or something. No, she's so good. She's got like, Anne's just very organised. If I was doing a tortoise hotel, I'd be an absolute night. there. Why? Yeah, it feels to me like those babies behind the glass. Too much, yeah.

You're like, which one's the baby? Which one's mine? No, that's fine. Yeah, it's, but no, she's, she's going to be really honest. She's got, like, she's got schedules and tables and stuff and everything. Is it Anne? Oh, Anne. I love Anne.

Thank you, Anne. Thank you, Anne. Happy Christmas, Anne. Merry Christmas, Anne. So, we're going to get into how to just absolutely smash that Christmas buying. Presents, Christmas buying, present buying for Christmas. How are you at present buying? Oh, I have given perhaps a handful of gifts in my life that I really smashed.

I think your gifts are often very thoughtful. Like the one that you're doing, which I won't mention. Please. But you've got one at the moment and in case they listen for a wedding that you went to. And it's really nice. That's the thing that I was going to say. So often it's like a lovely Christmas present, but it's in June, but you thought about it in November.

So that's the main thing. Yes. Yes, they are thought. I do like to give, like, thoughtful things. And then, but sometimes I can't think of anything for you. It's panicking. You get nothing. Of course.

No, I find a whole thing, I find it quite stressful. I also find, so this is both what to give, but also what to ask for. Because I think being asked for, you know, if you have any family members who you get a text from in mid-October saying, what do you want for Christmas? And then you're like, oh, God, I don't know. And then. Coasters? Yeah. And then you get this sort of on Christmas Day, like,

well, you're hard to buy for, so you've got nothing again. Or I've got you this, but I know you'll hate it. So that's a very specific member of my family. I'm really drawing from a personal experience there. And so I find asking for things very tricky. And I thought about this, and I thought, apart from my auntie, who I never know what to ask for from her, why am I so worried about the Christmas asking?

And I think I can trace it back to going to see Santa Claus when I was about five. the grotto. In the grotto. I've been. Yes. And also he was probably a gooden. He was a gooden. So like he was like a velvet and you know, it was a grotto.

Well, I mean he's Father Christmas. Yeah. Of course he's a gooden. Yeah, but sometimes you can get a hokey. I'm very Christmassy and I would like to say that I refuse any of these conspiracy theories. There are a different Father Christmas. Oh, understood. Okay.

So it was like, I'm just saying sometimes Father Christmas puts on a cheaper suit. He does because he's tired. He's tired. So he puts on his cheaper suit. but sometimes he puts on his full velveteen ermine. I will also accept that he may send a substitute sometimes. Right, fantastic. So sometimes you're like, oh, I've got the substitute teacher.

Yes. What a disappointment. But then, anyway, so I saw one, I saw him. I saw Miracle on 34th Street, the real deal. Real one. And I sat on his knee and he was so nice to me and his lovely white gloves. And I was like so in trance and he said,

what did you want for Christmas? And I think I said something, probably I wanted a Polly Pocket. Oh, Polly pocket. So exciting when you get it. Not that fun when you have it. No, that's the thing about Polly Pocket. Because then you're like, yes, I've opened it and it's small.

What do I do now? What do I do now? This is too small. Oh, I've lost Polly Pocket. And I've lost all the shoes. Lost everything's down. This is just an empty shell. I've got a plastic.

But my one looked like a shell on the outside. Yes, and then you opened it like that. And it's a house. Yeah. What you've got now is an empty room. They looked like a shell. That was what Polly Pockocker was. Oh, right.

They all were shells. Yes. And then he opened it and it was a different type. Under the sea? Sure. Why not? I don't know. Poly Pocket.

Yeah. It's like why the sea theme? What happened to that? Well, yeah. Well, let's investigate. Sure. Because if you know somebody. So I asked for Poly Pocket.

I asked for Polly Pocket. And he said, hmm, I've just the thing. And he reached into his back and I was like, holy shit. He's going to give me a Polly Pocket from his bag? Because he's Santa Claus. Because he's Santa Claus.

And he gave this little wrapped up present. I left just like transfixed. And I was probably wearing a little like velveteen outfit. It's about five. Anyway, then I got outside, opened it and it was like, you know, some rubbishy, some crayons. And I was like, what to, what to fuck, Santa? Like, what is this? And that's, I think, when I fell apart, the idea of, like, you ask for things, you don't get the thing.

Yes, great, okay. And thus, the magic of Christmas is suddenly, like, ruined. It suddenly ruined because you're like, why did you give me this? And also, I think the gift-giving issue is, like, you receive a present that you're like, that sometimes when they're quite, they obviously cost a bit of money. And you're like, who do you think I am? When I've been in relationships that haven't been, that I've thought, great at the time, then you look back and go, I should have known the final Christmas before

I broke it off. He'd so clearly just like found things around his family home and given them to me. Like I don't eat milk chocolate, just loads of milk chocolate that one of them was open. I was like, this is off. And then there was this candle holder that was like, I have seen that in your house, I think. And then like a stuffed toy that had no meaning. It was just like, you like dogs don't you? Here's a dog stuffed toy. It wasn't like a, oh, you've loved this or oh you've, and you're just like, oh, you don't know me. And I

expect that from, and we'll talk about that a little bit later, like, you know, your brother's girlfriend who you've met once. Like, fine, you might get that wrong and you might, which is why you need to kind of go broad rather than go like, she once said she liked a dog, so I'm going to buy a stuffed toy dog. You're like, don't

do that. Just get her something like, a bottle or something she really likes or, you know, like, just basically a bottle or something which really likes. But when it's someone that you're supposed to know very well, it can be quite hard, not heartbreaking, but it can be just like really disappointing. Jesus.

Yes, I, two memories have just surfaced. One is that I once went to a girl's birthday party where we didn't have a present when I was by 11, just went to secondary school and like, you know, wanted to be impressed and be in the right, you know, and didn't know what to get this girl. And it was at a swimming party. And I remember my mom was like, I know what we'll do.

You go in and then I'll drive away. And then you be like, oh my God. and so I forgot the present. And then, right. So Julie, we did. Then I was like, oh my God, I forgot the present. When I decided, I was like, oh no, mom. So which my mother parted the car and was like,

what? And I was like, Oh no. Debbie had immediately forgotten the plan. Debbie! Well, I guess if your child is running after you, shouting mom. You think there's actually a problem. Yeah, you can't, you can't talk to her a plan.

Mom, wink, go. It is on you because you shouldn't have, you shouldn't have tried to go that level of acting. But then she bought, and then Julie, mum arrived to pick me up, and she had bought a fantastic, like, hot chocolate making thing lovely except the girl was lactose intolerant.

Right. So tricky. Very tricky. Yeah, and also a boyfriend once got me, had obviously just like walked into Lush. Oh, that's, yeah. And I don't love the smell of Lush. I find it quite overwhelming the smell. He'd obviously just walked in and literally gone, I've got a girlfriend, and then they just like

packed him some stuff. Yes, that's what and I kept that box for so long. Oh, I bet you bought nice things as well. I probably made him something insane. I think I, hollowed out a book and made it like a secret book

so that you could like hide things in it he does not deserve that but he also was like what's this I did not deserve that so obviously he obviously was like

and then she made me this insane thing so like he was obviously like I don't want that either you know I guess so but we were not right for each other but now that kind of goes contrary to my thought

of present giving which is that if you are so I am surrounded by people who are quite difficult to buy for yes like already my boyfriend I had like a list of things I was like I'm obviously going to smash this and then he just bought

it all for himself right yeah so now I've run out of all the things and I'm like I don't know like a bottle opener I don't know what to get in but if you're going to go for like something really generic or something thoughtful always going for a thoughtful thing because the whole that book I don't think

anyone of any any metal will ever go like oh that was stupid because the whole of that book he did well then he's an idiot like a full idiot because you can see that someone is actually like they've thought about it like I once got a like a keepsake box thing my friend made me and she's like decorated it and stuff and like I'm not somebody that has a lot of keepsake box I still have it though because it's like what a lovely thing to have made and I wouldn't buy like a little box or a little trinket thing

to keep my jewellery and like I just wouldn't do that so that I knew thought of that so turning something useful into something beautiful or just doing like even if you like mate if you can't afford to buy like a friend presents or whatever because that's that's a big thing you're like are my friends enough to buy a present well you like make a lovely Christmas card that's so much that's just the same as a present because people don't want I'm just I don't like tat like I don't want any more stuff so having a beautiful Christmas card that is something that I would love to have and then you can do the thing where you like have a little string and then you like put all your Christmas cards each year and then lovely and we have many Christmas cards in the house that come out year on

that's what we have yeah that's what I'm saying it's like next year if I got some Christmas cars this year, then I would use the next year, a year, next year, if they're beautiful, definitely. If you got us... If they're shit, no. Any kind of reproduction print of old-fashioned horses in the snow, baby, that's going straight back on the wall. That is resurfacing.

There is a whole, like, two lines across the ceiling of wind doors. But any, like, a knaff horse or a photo of a horse, that's straight in the bin. Right, interesting, okay. So make it be... You know, you've got to get it right. I really like craft-based Christmas cars that look really like handmade. and like traditional and like I'm really into that.

So that's like a thing if you're like, well, this Christmas buying thing is pointless because I can't afford any of them. Then make nice Christmas cards. Yes. So they don't, yeah, make nice Christmas cards. You don't have to spend any money if this is the year that you're thinking,

I haven't got a penny to my name. Yeah. What am I going to do? You can make, just make everyone, somebody I know wants made just chutney, barrels of chutney. That's a great idea. And everyone got a chutney.

Yeah. Or like if you can make mince pies or Christmas cake. Yeah. Just something that. There's still, the gift giving is in the like, here is this gift. It's a sort of relevant. I thought of you. I thought of you.

And we've all had, like, the magic of Christmas is like looking at the stuff under the tree and being like, ha! And it's like feeling you're stocking with your toes on Christmas morning. And like that's the stuff. And like never is the present ever going to be as good as the thrill of it? Yeah, of course. So it doesn't matter what the thing is. So go right ahead and give, you know, your chutneys or your mince pies or your cakes or your brownies or your truffles or your truffles. Truffles, make truffles.

Yeah, make loads of truffles and give everyone them in a nicely wrapped thing. Yeah. Like, lovely, because people just want to say, here is your gift, I thought about you,

I like you, I like you. Yes, I like you. And you're like, thank you, I like you. That's what everyone's doing. That's all this is. I like you, I like you, I like you. So don't freak out that it has to be, you have to spend so much money.

Absolutely. Because when I first thought, so go ahead. No, I was going to say, also, like, charity shops are really good for, I once bought my parents, I was like, when I was a student and I didn't have any money.

and I was just, went around all the church shops in Durham, where we were. And there was this like a picture, a framed picture of Paris. And I know that they'd gone to Paris like quite a few times. It was like, and it's quite a nice black and white photos. I was like, you're right. Okay, fine, it was 50p. And they still have it on the wall. Best gift I ever gave was a girl called Lauren,

a necklace that said Lauren. But it looked like sex in the city, the one which had that carry necklace from the fair had just come out. I found that necklace on the floor. I'm like, brilliant. Not like, I didn't steal it off another Lauren. I found it like, you know, on the street. And I think she still has it.

She was like so thrilled by it. It's like things don't have to be. You don't have to be going to John Lewis or like, even Amazon. Yeah. Like you can just be like, yeah. The first year I started making any money. The first year I worked in an office and I was making money by the day and I just could not believe I was being paid cash money.

I, that Christmas I was like, baby, here it comes. You've all put up with my tat for all this time. finally here are the good presents and I got my cousin walked into Hamleys and I was just like take me to the drones and I bought my small cousin

who was 11 at the time this like you know remote control drone his mother was like horrified because she's got like she got in the like the more rubbishy version because it was cheaper and I was like

here I come that the cool auntie bringing the cool stuff he was so excited he flew it onto the roof of my grandma's house immediately and it is still there oh my gosh so so often more money doesn't

Does not equal more fun. Never. Should we read out some of the funny Christmas things? Yes, absolutely. We could alternate. Please. Go first, go. I'll take lovely Claire who said that a couple of years ago,

my sister's boyfriend, who's always tricky, that's like an in-law, but they're not even, you know. This is the hardest one of them. And also you probably hate them, you know? Yeah, that's the thing. You're like, you're an idiot. A couple of years ago, my sister's boyfriend got me some sheep-based, erotic novellas.

Every word in that sentence is extraordinary to me. Not sure if he realized what they were because they looked like cartoony type books or if it was just a very bad joke that I didn't appreciate the books did not make it to Boxing Day. I don't understand where they went if they didn't make it to Boxing Day. They ate them.

Oh gosh. Extraordinary. Go for it. I really like this one because I think giving games is a really good idea. So this is Gabby Herrett. She says my sister made me a really in-depth murder mystery featuring all of my friends as potential suspects. She even included a deer stalker house.

and pipe to get into character. And that's such a great idea. So nice. And also that like leads to potentially like if you're, if someone is very difficult to buy for, think of like things you can do. Yes. So like,

so hard not to ruin Christmas presents that I've got already for people. But, um, the Martins, just stop listening. Just Martins. Can you not listen to this? This is so not helpful. But, um, yeah, like, uh,

well, actually I'll just use my boyfriend. I don't like that in another example. I've run out of staff. So I'm like, cool. What sort of stuff does he like to do? now looking at all the different places that he likes to go and stuff and been like, cool. And then I can just like make a little voucher and be like,

this is for us to do this on this day. Like that is a nice thing. And also that is especially good. If you haven't got enough money now, but you know you maybe will be paid in January. So you'd be like, here's a thing for us to do in February. And then in January,

pay for it. I once, I knew somebody who, they only just started going out, but gave the boyfriend a calendar, like quite a nice calendar. There was just like, nice calendar.

And good choice of thing. I'll use this. calendar but then had marked on things they were going to do throughout the year I was like so balzy that's great I don't you know even commit to things for tomorrow afternoon let alone a year of June 23rd yeah mad this is from Kathy says when I was a kid we went to a rugby game in September and I fell in love with the Welsh dragon teddy's but they were like 20 pounds and I was 13 my twin brother asked my dad for the money and got me one for Christmas and hid it for three months it's so thoughtful that's so nice and if you can't get into the habit of like

when you're with somebody, you know, because I think in December we start freaking out, but you've actually been with that person for 11 months. And if they've ever said, like, oh, that, you know, like noted something. Just like, clock it in your brain to be like, cool. Obviously now that's a very bad piece of advice because now we've got loads of people panicking, but they haven't done that. Sorry, we are in December, but maybe just there's a rolling thought for the future. Well done, my note on your phone.

I love this one by Katie MF, who says, my mum's very big on practical gifts. One year, my stocking contained three pairs of tights. I never wear tides. Two rolls of gaffer tape and a bumper-sized container of shirt. screen wash. So useful. It's so silly, isn't it?

And like, um... Katie says, every year grandma gets me and my sister an umbrella with a fiver seller tape to it. Fantastic. Thank you, grandma. Thank you,

in part of me, like... I mean, you have so many umbrellas, but part of me, like, really likes that. Like, cozy things, I think, are a good thing if you're struggling to buy stuff. Like, a lot of people, you know, like scarves, hats, mittens, um, like long johns.

Like, just like cozy slippers, like things like that. Like I always, they're always good for, like, grandparents or people that you're a bit like, I don't know what you want. Like, oh, like, grandparents are quite difficult to buy for what I find, because they've got everything or don't need anything. Blankets. Blankets are cool. Proper, and you've got always been, got the nice stuff.

Yes, thick blankets. And, and this is always a helpful one, anything they already own that's like on its last legs, that you can get them a new one of something they already have. That's good. So then it's not just like more tat. It's like, oh, here's a new version. of this. Oh, if someone has a beard, get a beard oil.

Yes. That's the thing? Yes. If that's a thing, if somebody, yeah. Basically, I think men are really hard to buy for. My boyfriend really really difficult because he isn't like things. He doesn't really like presents. He likes giving presents a lot, but he's not very good at receiving them.

And my dad, who literally is just like, what's the point in getting books? Once I've read it, then I'll just sit there. You're like, this is impossible. Okay. Whereas my mom, I'm like, women tend to have more stuff that you can be like, oh, look, you're running out of hand cream. I'll get you a really nice one. Or like, I make a bag.

Or just like bits and bobs, whereas men don't tend to have as many bits and bobs. They often do have bits and bobs. But then it's like, if you look at the men gift pages, they're always so boring. So boring. Things like, I don't know, like a kettle. You're like, this is rubbish.

It always raises a kettle or like socks. Yeah. And good socks is really good, but then you have given someone's socks for Christmas. I think if you're giving multi, I think a socks has to come as part of a multiple gift. Very good. And they do have to be like,

those kind of hipstery socks that are like in a lovely box with things that's like, this is a gift sock. Yes. Rather than, I've just got you a 10 pack of socks. Yes. Actually, my granddad last year, there is a company called Pantherlla who make, you know, really classy socks. Panthers.

And they're out of Panthers. And they do a subscription thing. So you buy it as a gift. And then every two months of new pair of socks arrived for him at the post. That's great. With like a little thing about like, what kind of sock this was on the wool and like all this stuff. Like 10 years, he's just going to have like 10,000.

It was only a year. Oh, that's so great, yeah. So it was a year worth of. 12 pairs of socks. That's a great present. And it was like spread out over the things. Like they kept arriving, which was quite a nice. Christmas happens all year then.

All year. But yeah, I think socks do have to come if you're making like a multi, you know, a box of things. Something else. A box of things is always a good thing. If you're like, I don't know what to get them, just get like a box of loads of like little things. I think if you have, yeah, especially if someone is moving into a new house or as a student, especially as you like, you can buy them. candles.

Candles. Oh, especially something called Price's Chef's Candles, which are thin and like in a sort of fun little tin and look like, you know, they're out of downtown abbey and very much my jam. And they are special, like, ones for the kitchen, especially for a student house, you know, when you're like, oh my God, the kitchen is just smells

of every meal that's ever happened in here and all of the meals were bad. They take the smell away. That's good. That's a great thing. So things like that. They're like, cool, this feels very grown up. Also, like, bottle openers, corkscrews, duct tape.

The things that you're like, you would never gift yourself. But if you're like, God, this is a really efficient, like, box of stuff. Yes. You know. And also, like, like, pets, like, Etsy and those places do, like, quite fun versions of, like, bottle openers. You don't just, like, a bottle opener. It's got, like, a little twist to it. One little bit of fun.

A little bit of fun. You know, one from, but also, if you did, like, a lovely little, like, if you, like, wrapped a shoebox and, like, Christmas paper, got some tissue paper in there. And then did go to Argos and got, like, like, I bought a $5.99, whisk, like, got all those, like, like, Cheap basics, but it's wrapped up in like a lovely way. Yes. And then you've not spent a lot of money. No.

I think such a good thing to do. And like putting together a nice box feels like a lovely, feels like a real, yeah, a gift, a box of treasures, shall we call it? Or if you've got a friend, or just though then, if you've got a friend who's like, has it's had quite bad 2018 or whatever, you can make them a lovely, like, power gift box for 2019 and, like, just look like a lovely scented candle or, I don't know, like some makeup and just, like, and just, like, pop it in a thing.

Yes, there are a lot of, if you have a Google, there are a lot of, like, emergency hangover boxes or, like, powerful women, like, stuff like that. But I think, just have a look what's in there and do your own. I think, I think if you're someone who appeals to, like, make a fun box, you aren't the also sort of person who would buy the thing. Can I just, I'm very boldly. Go.

Don't buy anyone a mug. I just think everyone has too many mugs. We have too many mugs in the world. Park that. Yes, park that. Great. Because then you always end up with, like, millions of different types of mugs. And what you really want is like,

and our set of mugs. Yes, so we can have a set of mugs, but not a solo. Not a solo. And similarly, wine glasses, the collection in IKEA, they're 50p each. And giving somebody, a student, I mean, don't give it somebody. They'll be like, I know this came from IKEA. Yeah, and also I've got wine glasses. And also I've got some, excuse me.

Yeah, students are. Students being given four identical wine glasses because you're like, oh my God, look at me. Look at me. Look at me going because I'm having one's in a cup, one in a mug, and one out of my hands. So, you know, that's really thrilling. And also, a sewing kit.

Putting someone together, a nice sewing kit. Also, you can actually buy sewing kits. You can actually buy sewing kits relatively cheaply as well. But also putting in there, like, some of those nice, like, gold scissors or the, like, pinking shears or, like, adding extra stuff in there. And it's always, those are sort of things that you would never necessarily put together for yourself. You're like, I don't need a sewing kit.

Yeah. What is this? Oh, yeah. Also, I thought, as well, like, I've got, and also given, those, like, escape room games that you can buy. You can only play them once and it's like for like four people so they can invite people around and then you have to escape out like your own your own yeah you can do with your own yeah and how much setup does it need? I don't know because I haven't done it yet. The only problem with that is I'm so like is it now the time because obviously it's only one go.

And does as soon as the box open it begins and then you're like I've got to go to a meeting you're like I'm stuck in my room escaping from it. So but I think games are really good thing to buy and also games can be a little bit expensive yes but like there are the raw game, you know, like there are, there are, it's a spectrum. There's a whole, I think at Christmas you sort of can't go wrong with a game. Yeah. Then every, even if it is not fun, the actual game. You can laugh about the father that it's not fun.

They're like setting it up, sitting down to play, reading the instructions. Like that is part of it. Yeah. So I think there's sort of any, any game will go down well. Good on a treat. It's nice to have, lovely to have a game. And things like code names I've seen played that's very popular. Oh, I've got code names.

I haven't played it yet. Yeah, it's nice. It's good. It's nice. It's fun. There's a lot of stuff that you're like, this is a good... I'm just obsessed with Uno and it's the most basic game ever, but I can't stop playing it. I absolutely love it.

I'm not saying you should buy Uno for everyone because they'll be like, sure, but it is great. Yeah, get Uno out, why not? Real fun game. Yeah, you can't go around with the game if you're stuck. And that's, I think, also a good Secret Santa one. Oh, that is good, yeah, Secret Santa, yes. Because that's a real tricky point in the office, you're like, who is that? I don't want to, you know, get it wrong, but just coming out strong with the game, you're like...

Come out strong with the game. Oh, if you know somebody who, you know, loves books, it's quite like writing-y, that's not really weird. But I feel like we all know somebody who's like that. A beautiful notebook is always a really great idea. And that's something that often people go like, well, that's too obvious. I've never been upset about getting a notebook ever. I'm always just like, great, because you just pop it in your thing. And then, you know, a year and a half later when I've run out of my notebook, it's like, oh, oh, God, I've got a lovely notebook.

Like, it's so great. Also, if I may, the Liberty. notebook there is a in January they make most beautiful like the softest notebooks in the world great they're so lovely and they're obviously very expensive but in January they put everything in the stationary sale yes okay great so it's more a personal it's more of a personal present because Christmas has passed or you could stockpile for the future the the Christmas sale in January in Liberty's is excellent because it's all like stuff that's broken but you're like I

can that'll it'll do I can I can get over with no pages that'll be fine yeah why I know. It's nice though, isn't it? Have a go. My last couple are speakers. Great one. Especially those like portable ones that are a bit cheaper. They've put speakers on everything now. You can get like a picnic, a picnic blanket with speakers on it. Yeah. Go gimmicky. I saw someone with a bum bag with some speakers. You just put your phone and then... Antisocial, isn't it? Not if you're going for a walk or something or a festival or...

It was antisocial, yes. Yeah. You could walk around your house. How about your house with your bum bag on? Yeah. I mean, a picnic blanket is incredibly antisocial as well. That's not as you far away. Very far away. But what about the wasps? Anyway, point, it's fine. They love the tunes. Great, okay.

So everyone's happy. Crack it out. And an SAD lamp, one of those sad lamps. Oh, the sad lamps. To help people in the winter. Yes. That's a cool idea. And similarly, one of those, like, pink crystals rock lamp things.

Oh, like Himalayan. Yes, yes. Are they cool? Not sure. Think about it, though. Could be. Don't know. Certainly thinking about them, Googling them a lot.

Let me tell you. Oh, you should have one. I'm surprised you don't have one. I know. these lamps that are like beautiful moons. Yeah. Oh, I've got one of them. Obviously.

Yes, you have. I bought one of those and my sister got me one for my birthday. That's excellent. I love the moon. Very difficult to buy clothes for people. And I would just don't. Don't buy clothes. Even if you're like, oh my God, that is so Samantha.

Samantha might not appreciate it or she might already have it. And then people feel even no matter how much you go, I've got the receipt so you can send it back. They're not going to feel, they're going to feel bad. So things like, it is lame, but things like gift cards for stuff is still, like ASOS gift cards are really great because you get an email on the morning of Christmas being like, hello, surprise, you've got 50 pounds, or you've got like, I was writing an article actually recently about Christmas and talking about how like cash in the card and book vouchers used to be like the thing you would get. And now it's a little bit tricky, isn't it? People use contact list so much.

and cash is like, it's like how much do I put in? Like, how much is 10 pounds? It's like, it's two pints in London. Like, is that enough? 20 pounds seems like, now I'm like investing in you. Yeah. For a 10% share of the business. It's 20 pounds.

And then there were no book vouchers anymore. So you can just hear the ghosts of book vouchers being like, I told you we weren't boring. Like, we were useful. But the problem was is that not, maybe people didn't want to just buy books. But if you get like a foils gift card, like for someone that loves books,

like that's an amazing present. Or an Aeros thing and you can, it's not just, clothes you can get you know obviously Azos do a huge range of stuff that might be a good one for people that you don't know who are like significant others of people in your family yeah yeah I know

that's a lovely gift yeah lovely stevie thank you especially if you make the Christmas card yeah and put in it lovely oh Christmas cellar tape oh my god oh yes that tiger go to tiger never come out flying tiger Copenhagen whatever it's called Tiger you can go on their website they've got so much good stuff but they've also

got Christmas see the cellotape Like the wasabi tape, if you will. It's called wassy tape and we have had this discussion before. Oh my God. Again, I've never said these words. I've only read them. But wasabi is mustard and if they had that, I'd be delicious. So it's not called wasabi tape.

No, it's called wassy tape. Jesus Lord. Right, my last couple are in a frame because I know we're trying to like come away from some tat because I think it's very easy, especially if you're like approaching. I for one, I have done it.

Everyone, I have done Christmas shopping on Oxford Street on Christmas Eve. Oh, wow. Yes. And it was actually extremely calm. Oh, right. It was the people there, we just, like, we were not, we were calm, and we were, like, we knew what we had done, and we were, we were regretful, but we were here.

And we were just getting things done. Like, it was actually a very calm experience. But what makes you panic is, like, just buying, like, any old shit. Yeah. Like, yeah, that'll do, that'll do. And so we're trying to, like, step away from tap. But art, I think, it just doesn't come into the same category of art. Like a print of something.

into something, if it's in a frame, because if it's not in a frame, it will just sit in its, whatever it's in, forever on the floor. So you have to frame it and then they'll just put it up and then that is a really lovely thing to receive. Also, this is quite elaborate. Great. But you can buy one or you can do it yourself. Locatee and en provence, how did I do with that one? I actually don't know how to say that. Again, first time out loud. So I reckon you've nailed it. Thank you. Tweeters, is that? Nobody Panic Pod. I bet it was wrong. They do an Advent calendar. Right. That each door is a little one of their...

Candles? No, no. Candles and also... Soap. And fragranceers, hand cream. Lovely. Their little shampoes, their various stuff. Great. It's like little stuff behind every door. I believe it costs like 40 pounds or something. So it's quite an indulct. Like, obviously it's a bit of a gift. Also, you're a week late?

Certainly. And also, guys, you're already late. But buying things... You can do it for January. Yeah. You can do like a January advent calendar. So I thought, but what a nice, I thought, cool thing, but also what a nice idea to like make someone a personalized thing

that you open every day. To get through the January blues. So it's about like, this is for January and then like each day was a door and like, there's some fun stuff. So if you're like prepared to put the time, if like those sort of things make you think like, oh fun, then like carry on down that route.

And then last things were if you've got, you know, oh, boys or girls, but pen knives, especially if you're like a godparent of somebody and you're like, those red Swiss army knives or a leatherman which is those um you've did those metal then they're silver and they've got everything a hundred things on them bottle openers and when people like present one of those you're like everyone stand back yes they've got it somebody's in control here they've got it they've got it and so that

just feels like a very like cool thing just like own oh also a cool thing I thought which is a gender neutral is um wine bottle stopers wine bottle stoppers lovely gift because you never buy them yourself I mean like who's like oh god I must go and buy some wine bottle stoppers. Like, no, you could buy them Christmasy ones, but you can just get them like really sleek ones. Really classy ones. That's cool for whoever, from student to someone who is not a student

and has, like, loads of wine. Exactly. Like, those are a lovely thing to have. A lovely thing. A lovely gift. Just a lovely gift. And then my last ones are, if you've got anyone with small children,

personalised books. So you can do one at a little book for everyone. Also find so-and-so, like, where's Stevie? And it's in Stevie. And we, maybe kids, today I were less impressed, but like I had one of these when I was small, and it was me hunting for something. And also the cat was in it and all my friends, like, I couldn't believe it. I think kids still love that stuff. I think so too. Like, I just, I could not believe my name was in, within the book.

Yeah. Amazing. Well, hopefully that gave you some, at least inspiration for getting your Christmas presents sorted. I was going to say early, but it's probably like now is the time, isn't it really? It's crack on now, guys. Crack on, guys. Get a little list going. God, a list. And just, yeah, like, you don't have to spend loads of money, make stuff, just know of the thought that just even giving someone anything, especially those, like, periphery people, if you don't get your, you know, your parents or your money for a present,

maybe you do think about getting them something. But, like, those, like, perif people, I'll just be really happy that you thought about them. So just, yeah, come up with, like, something. They'll be just be so thrilled with a card. I think we live in this like unbelievably isolated age. Like just send it and like just you know. Just pops me in the post.

Get some cards, pop them in the post, mate. You're delicious. I don't know. Keep your eyes peeled for the Nobody Panic Christmas party with The Economist. It'll be all over your social means now. We'll be looking incredible. We'll be looking so good. The only thing you have to do is you have to wear something Christmasy

even if that's just like one bobble on your ear. One bobble. Or just hold a bobble. Or if you've got like a Marks and Spencer's Christmas party outfit that you're like, oh, I never have anywhere quite right. to wear it. Now is the time. Like, we'll accept them. We will accept everything. You're all welcome here.

So excited. And yes, download, like, subscribe the podcast. If you like this episode, share it about. And I think I've done all the Twitter things. I'll do them again. I'll do them again. Go it again. That's TVM the S of the 5. At Tesa Coates. And then email us, if you have any podcast, ideas, suggestions for the future,

Nobdy Panic Podcast at gmail.com. And thank you so much for listening. Have a Christmassy Christmas Christmas. and we'll see you next Christmas. Oh, ho! Bye!