Nobody Panic - How to Use an Excel Spreadsheet
Episode Date: April 2, 2024Today's episode is brought to you by Stevie, Tessa and the amazing Fi - a 'spacecraft thermal engineer'(!), podcast listener, and Excel champion, who offers her exceptional talents and guida...nce to two gals terrified of spreadsheets. A beginner's guide to Excel for the chronically afraid. A genuinely helpful episode (we think). Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello, I'm Carriad.
I'm Sarah.
And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast.
We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.
The date is Thursday, 11th of September.
The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.
Tickets from kingsplace.com.
Single ladies, it's coming to London.
True on Saturday the 13th of September.
At the London Podcast Festival.
The rumours are true.
Saturday the 13th of September.
At King's Place.
Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.
Hello, it's me from even more in the future than this episode is about to be.
We have recorded this excellent episode about using an Excel spreadsheet. It's a lot. There's a lot happening.
And now it's two days after the record and I've learned some extra things. So right at the end of this episode, there's a little PS and a little PPS.
If you want to hang out till the end. A sort of Marvel post credits, a little Easter egg, if you will, but for Excel.
Okay, here we go.
I've already, I've lost it, I'm afraid.
Delete row.
Delete row.
Insert row.
Delete row.
Welcome to Nobody Panic, a podcast where we learn how to do things where I'm recording from home.
So I sound very different to my co-host, Tessa.
Hello, I'm in the professional studio.
But also, file, open, select.
Select, drag, drop, some.
Drag and drop.
Some.
Some.
This is a podcast where we learn how to do things.
Greek symbol.
Today's episode is How to Use Excel.
We are extremely excited to do it.
I'm tense.
We're quite tense.
This was recommended to us.
We had an email saying,
would you like to do how to use Excel?
From a professional Excel user.
We said...
Well, actually, it was from her partner.
It was like,
my partner is like an absolute Excel ninja.
Fantastic.
And her name's Fee,
Hello Fee.
Fee doesn't know that I'm writing this,
but I thought it'd be fun to ask and just see.
So I was like, absolutely get her on the show.
And then Fee was like, oh my God, that's overwhelming.
Thanks, Tom.
No, but what I will do is create an incredibly simple to follow
and just really helpful video tutorial,
how to create like a budget on Excel
because that's basically,
unless you're using it for work
in which case you're not,
you shouldn't be listening to this episode
because we're not going to be going
into the sorts of depths
that I think you need.
This is from somebody who doesn't,
has never used it,
apart from IT year eight at school,
which is only four years ago,
but like it's a long, you know, it's hazy.
And I don't think you use it either, do you Tesla?
Absolutely never.
And that's why I'm so excited
because those who followed us,
seminal episode, How to Do a Tax Return Live. Good Lord. Absolute car crash. My accountant
called me from the side of the road where she'd had to pull over the car because she was
screaming so much while listening to what I was saying. And she said, you are never allowed to do
your personal tax return ever again. And I was like, understood. We were approaching the
end of the tax year. And she was like, right, put everything in an Excel document and send it to me.
And I was like, sure, we'll do.
And then there was a pause.
And then she said, I know what you've said yes,
but what you're going to do is write it all in a word document,
which is what you always do for me.
What?
You write all of your do?
Yeah.
I did not think after this amount of time of knowing you,
maybe 13 years,
that you could rent a me speechless.
Speechless.
You write out your bank in your...
Unwise, but not illegal.
You just, you simply press export.
What do you mean export? Export what?
You go into your bank online and you go into your bank statements and it says export bank statements and you just export it and you send them right?
But then she has to go through it and see what's actually relevant, right?
Of course. That's her job.
Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Understood.
Were you not doing that because you didn't want her to go through?
Yes. What happens and that bank account is between me and Jesus and I don't want anyone to say.
Well, that's why I see these are the things that I'm prepared for you to look at what I've done.
And this is why I'm not prepared for you to see.
Wow.
To see that I've been, you know, it's like, why have you been to five guys so often?
I don't want to talk about it, you know?
But they don't even, they just see all of the stuff.
So she's just looking for work expenses.
So she just passes pile, that stuff.
Listen, you're saying fair points here, Stevie.
I just didn't want anyone looking.
Those are my, that's private.
I didn't want to read.
Looking in there.
Well, also, that was like tip number one from the,
from fee,
it was like, it's so great when you are trying to,
so if you sort your budget out,
you just export all your bank statements into,
it says like cSv.c, and you can open that in Microsoft Excel,
and it just all comes out for you.
So that's the thing, the reason why.
So you can export from your bank statement directly into an Excel spreadsheet.
Yeah, you export it, and it saves them to your computer,
and then you can open it up in Excel.
Yeah, if it's a .csv file.
What we're going to be doing today is we're going to be making a very simple budget
and we're going to be able to also get like a running tally of our finances
and we're also going to be categorizing.
And so you can see exactly how much money you spent on, say, personal care.
How much money you spend on entertainment?
Right. Five guys, for example.
Five guys.
Which actually, I would say the vend diagram of both.
Personal care and entertainment.
Exactly.
Okay, so I'll show you what I've managed to make so far.
This is what I've done.
Right.
So I personally went through my bank statements, found every in amount.
And then I pop them all manually in there with the date on a different column.
Yeah.
And then I've got, and then I've got a little total at the bottom.
Great.
So that's something.
And then column, yeah, so what is it down for columns?
Yes.
Yeah.
So e column, that's my e for expenses.
And so then that's going to list of all expenses.
Great. Okay.
Well, look, that's a very specific tax base.
thing, but what we're going to be doing is a simple budget, which I'm going to say already
is too advanced for you.
I know, that's why I'm so excited to learn.
I just, I equally, my full experience with Excel is that one year eight IT lesson.
I feel like we got a certificate.
I feel like I got one as well, but I don't really know why.
Right?
You sort of, if you managed to get to the end of the day, basically you were allowed to
certificate that said like you got basic Excel.
I felt, I was like, you.
unconscious, basically. I just fugue stated my whole way through. I was just copying whoever
was next to me. I couldn't grasp it at all. And I felt so thick. And that is how I feel every time
I open an Excel spreadsheet. Right. You open an Excel, a new sheet. That's what we're calling them,
like a bed sheet. Completely new sheet. You're looking at me. Well, I was thinking, what if we say
a sheet of paper rather than a bed sheet? That makes way more sense. Yeah. I did.
A new sheet. That's actually probably where it comes from.
Yeah.
And you should have it doesn't come in bed sheets.
Already I feel like I'm laying fee down.
Fee, we're going to try so hard for you.
I'm just looking across my Mac and I'm thinking that some people like,
sometimes Mac is like you have to pay extra for the Excel thing.
But it's on Google Docs.
It's inside there.
Google Sheets in fact.
Google Sheets, exactly right, Steve.
So just to say if you're like, I'm not paying for Excel, baby it's free in the Google Doc sheets.
Yes.
In the Google Doc beds sheets.
In Google's bed.
So when you open a new sheet, obviously it's tricky.
You're confronted by this blank emptiness, as Faye says, a vastness of cells.
What am I meant to do with this?
You may be thinking to yourself.
So we're going to do a budget.
Now, the first thing you do is going to go into your bank, online banking.
And you're going to export your bank statements that you want to be like making the budget for.
And you'll be given, like, all banks are different, of course, but you'll be given an option to export them in a dot.
CSV file. And when you've done that, you can open them into Excel and they will open in what I
thought would be like, you know, like when you used to like open a web page back and it'd be all
the coding and you'd be like, what the fuck is that? I don't like that. Like the matrix.
It's got a column of dates. It's got a column of like incoming. So that's and then it's got
everything you spent. I'm going to try as well, but I can't remember how to get on to my online
I mean, how do you check?
How do I live? How do I get through the day? Okay, so I go on my statement.
Yeah. And where do we think it says, I've got download transactions. Oh my God, download
CVS file. Perfect, that. Right? Okay. Yeah. Is it different columns?
What have the paid in and paid out? So what you're going to do is you download it with CSV?
CSV?
No. CV.
CVS, isn't it?
C-S-V.
Fuck.
CSV.
How can you remember that?
Can't.
Can't.
Sugar.
Vamoose.
And we've got certificates from year eight so that we can see it.
I'm really doubting that.
How can we both have a false memory of the certificate?
I think I just wanted to have a certificate because you said you had one.
I think I got one.
Please write in.
Let us know if you have a certificate.
Let's know.
Okay.
So I've managed to just tell you where I'm at.
I've been into my online banking.
Didn't know, barely knew you could go there.
Did not know you could download anything.
Download a CVS, CSV.
It's got a paid out, paid in a total.
And it means that I can, certainly the ins are less than the outs.
And it means that I can now add up those columns should I wish.
So I'm feeling already pretty glamorous.
So, right, you need to categorize your transactions.
And that's a bit of a bit.
There's not like a sort of way you can.
There's not like a formula for Excel to be like, and that's clothing.
So you, if you, what am I doing, a budget?
You want to look at maybe like a month at time.
Like, or you know, or weekly or whatever.
So you basically take, look at the dates.
Take a time period, I reckon.
So maybe take like a month or something.
And you could maybe just do it for 10 things now rather than everything.
Yeah.
You go through and you, so you're going to categorise it, I don't know, bills, eat it,
Entertainment, life starts like going to cinema, eating out, getting drunk, like whatever.
Self categories would be personal to you depending on what you and what you, how you live.
You categorise them and how you do that is you just basically like next to the transaction,
you add another little title to the top whereas it's like incoming, outgoings or whatever.
Have you got titles at the top already?
I've got description paid out, paid in and balance.
Perfect.
So after balance, you're going to do like...
So questions.
less of a question, more of a comment.
Absolutely. I love those.
So I think what my instinct was when you were like categorise, I was like, I will fill each cell block with colour.
And then like yellow will represent snacks.
But now what, and then I would simply be looking at the colours and be like, do many, do many yellows.
Absolutely.
Because what we're doing is we're not doing categories to help Tessa.
No.
We're doing currently, we're still building categories to help Excel help Tessa.
Yes.
Exactly right. So what my instinct, exactly right. So that's no help at all what I've done there.
I've just, I've just coloured in. And so what you're saying is like, okay, we put another column in and then I categorize with my things.
With words. With words. Simple word. Travel. Travel. And then what feels exciting and what has started happening now is that when I go just to write the T of travel, it suggests travel. So already it knows and it's helping and it's here with me.
It wants to help. This is what's very nice.
When I was watching Fees video and reading her tips,
like Excel wants to help you.
It's just,
it's like you're learning a different language
with like a friendly robot that is like trying to help you
and it can't speak your language,
which is, I don't know, colours and stuff.
But there's, once you've done that, like, I don't know, for 10 things
or just even for five things, whatever.
But like, this is a home.
You'll do that for as many things until you're like,
I'm bored and I don't want to do this anymore.
That's fine.
And now you've got all of your columns
and you can kind of see what you're working.
working with.
Already I'm feeling quite empowered.
That's something, isn't it?
Oh, that's good.
Well, you're going to be absolutely flying in a bit.
So you know when you're like scrolling down all your numbers?
So say you've done like all the categories for like all of those, you're like scrolling down.
And then you're like, oh shit, which column was incoming and which column was outgoing again?
You've got to scroll all the way up to find, for example.
Right, yeah, yeah.
You can do something called freeze pains where you select a row and it will freeze everything
above that row. So basically you do it on the first row so it freezes the title on your screen.
So when you're scrolling down, you can always see date, incoming, outgoing, balance. So you can scroll
as far down as you like, but that row will always stay on your screen. Okay, could you tell me how?
Let's try, let's try selecting the actual titles, I think. So select across with all of the titles.
Yeah. And then like in your like menuy thing at the time.
top. It will either, there'll be something that says freeze pains or you have to go to
view freeze pains.
Motherfucker! Okay!
So when you're scrolling, you can always see, so it's not just an...
So then automatically, it's not like an overwhelming load of numbers, which is what my issue is.
Yes, this is so good. Okay, so just to reiterate there for anyone, you're going view at the top,
are you going freeze? It was the second one down for me. Who's to say where it is for you?
Across you go. It could be no rows, because I suppose if you're like, actually, this is
I hate it, undo, back to no...
And then because you're like, how to get rid of this?
No rows.
No rows.
And then I was like...
Then the options there were one row, two row for me.
And I was like, I don't know for three, two rows.
But it turned out that meant row number two.
Love that for it.
Love that for it.
Also, little little tip bit, when I was learning Excel when I was in year eight
and when they were describing it to me before I looked at it and they kept saying,
rose, I thought they meant the flower.
And I was like, it's interesting that they call it.
There's one thing that's got a floral name and everything else is called like a cell or a column.
And then when it was like, it's a row, you fucking moron.
I think at that point, the teacher needed to have moved you immediately to a different room.
Right, thank you.
There should have been like, hands up anyone else who was thinking it could be a rose.
And you'd be like, great, you need to all go in there for a totally different way of looking at this.
Yeah, it's a different experience.
Who else is just like color code in and filling the cells with the color?
In you go with the rose lady.
We're on a podcast in about for 20 years' time.
Now we're going to just easy win with a little shortcut to add a row.
Okay, so anyone listening who's on Excel,
Proper Excel.
Control, shift and equals will add a row.
And I would say for me, I'm not going to use the shortcuts yet.
No.
And let's just like, let's just not.
that's just not.
So all of your incomes, you're paid in and paid out,
they'll all be, they're just sort of numbers.
They're not really, they might all be in like different decimal places.
They might all be kind of, so we're going to format them.
So they all look like it's money.
It's to two decimal places.
And when she did this, I was like, why?
But you'll see what I mean.
So select all of your incomings.
So you're going to right click over the thing that you've highlighted and go to format sales.
Yep.
Yeah.
And then you're going to have a whole, like, variety of different things.
You're going to click currency.
I'm looking at, I've gone right-click, and I'm experiencing cut, copy-paste.
I can insert, I can delete, I can create a filter, I can sort the sheets A to Z.
Conditional formatting?
Yeah.
Feeling unwell, need to back out of there.
Does it have a lot of like...
It's gone green, Stevie.
Gone green.
We've not...
All right.
All right.
So let's just, but it's different because it's not Excel.
Go to format at the top of the menu thing.
Is there a format thing?
Format at the top, yep.
And then see if there's like something that like format sells there.
Oh, okay.
Format, number.
Accounting, financial, currency.
Ooh, currency, yep.
You're clicking currency.
Currency, yep.
And then that should have moved all of the numbers.
So they've got like point not not.
and it looks like money.
Okay, it's not so bad here.
My currency rounded.
Okay, nice.
Now it's all in dollars.
Not my intention, but something.
Well, look.
He's in dollars.
I understand it.
I clear that I asked him a request
and he did exactly as he was told.
He did.
I just need to make financial.
Shit, yes.
Okay.
Financial.
So, this is where...
Oh, and that does look so serious now
with the point zero for everything.
everything's so neatly aligned, Stevie.
This looks nice.
You'd hope so, but I don't know if I'm doing a...
I don't know if I'm doing a...
I don't know if I'm doing V proud here.
I'm having a fantastic time.
Okay, well then, as long as you're having a nice time,
it's nice time, isn't it?
I'm having a really good time, and I think
if you want to get your Mac...
your computer out, other computers available,
if you want to get your Excel, however you
choose to find it out and join in with us.
I think that's crucial.
Yeah, I think we should have said that at the time.
What we're going to do is,
And this is going to sound overwhelming when I start describing it, but we're going to do it.
Yeah.
Is we're going to create a formula that helps you to go, oh, right, that's exactly how much I spent on entertainment the entire month.
Oh, that's exactly how much I spent on travel, etc.
Yeah.
Okay.
So highlight all of your paid in.
Okay.
You're paid in column, all of it.
Yeah.
And I'd say right click and it will give you the option to do some.
Or it's on the top, or it'll be on your top menu.
Yeah.
Some.
Some.
Okay.
So for everybody listening, this is where the sexy, backward, no, the front, the sexy
E backwards three, M on the side.
In a way.
W on the side.
It didn't let me right click as an option.
I'm sure maybe it could.
How did you come to it?
I've found the cell that I would like the total to be in.
Yeah.
I've clicked the sexy E.
Yeah.
I've clicked some.
And what's happened now is it's.
gone blue and it says equals some, but I haven't, it doesn't know what to add up yet.
Oh, you haven't highlighted it. So you highlight it and then at the top, on the far right is your
backwards A and you do some and then it will just, and then you press enter and it will have
added it all up for you. Okay, everyone. So on the, if you're working with the old Googles,
you want to click on your top number of your top cell, it's the top of the thing. Do not touch
the little circle ball. That has always been my problem. The circle.
Circle ball.
Okay, so imagine a cell, and then in the right-hand corner, little blue dot.
I've always been like, well, that's how I drag down.
So that's always what I've gone wrong, because I do drag that down to the end of my numbers,
and every cell becomes the same.
At this point, I just vomit, like the exorcist, and I'm like, fuck you.
But now I'm seeing, I click on the cell, I go to the left-hand corner.
I drag down gently, they all go over sort of an elegant shade of blue.
and in the bottom corner for me,
a little green thing pops up telling me the sum
and it's popped up there.
It isn't doing it automatic, but it is popping up.
Well, I'm dragging left, right and center here.
I can add anything.
Wow.
So you're now summing it up.
You're summon the big time.
Oh my God.
Okay, I'm really getting to grips with this guy.
Delete.
Okay.
So now we've learned about some.
I also love how every tip is actually on your computer
and also on my computer
it's in a different place.
So this is what we're learning.
But I think they'll always be different.
And I think that's a big part of the issue is when you attempt to like check something online.
Somebody, because they've got quite an easy system, will be like this, duh.
And then you do it.
And you're like, I'm not crazy.
That's not working.
Yes.
Right.
Okay.
So give me a category that you've used.
Entertainment.
Great.
Underneath entertainment in the cell underneath entertainment.
And if there isn't a cell entertainment, just move it, move the whole thing.
There are cells underneath it.
Yeah.
You're going to write.
equals sign.
Okay, right, here we go.
Equals.
And in all capitals,
sum if.
As one, oh, that's one word.
One word, yep.
It's come up probably,
because it probably bloody nose.
He's desperate to help me this robot,
desperate.
A conditional sum across a range,
some if.
And now you're going to tell Excel
that you want it to check
through all your categories.
So you're going to select
all of the different words,
that column.
You're going to select all of them.
Mm-hmm.
And then you click the entertainment word that you've just typed in, not in the column,
like the one that you just typed in, in the row, to be like, look for this word.
Ah, okay, yep.
Okay.
Have you done that?
Yeah.
And then you're going to select all of your outgoings to be like,
I want to know how much I've paid of that word.
And then you're going to press enter and it's going to tell you exactly what you've just asked it to do.
Okay.
Has it given you a figure?
No, but I do understand what I've done wrong.
So that's something.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
Enter.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, so you just, okay.
Oh my God, that's what that means.
Okay, so you, oh, fuck me.
So it's like you're communicating with the computer by way you click.
I never understand that.
Enter.
You're going like this, and then you go, okay, and you go,
I want this
and he's going
you click on that
and then you go
I don't want you show me this
and he's going
yes
and he just does it
we can communicate
our issue was that
he just was saying
hashtag no name
at me
constantly
hashtag no name
what's my name
you simply
needed to name
do you want my name
your name
what do you need
from me
mother who am I
but now I understand
now I get it
and this you put in the equals
oh my god
am I going to be in
you can do that for all
of your categories so you can do that for travel and you can repeat that for and then you'll
see over the month, shit, I spent double on entertainment.
I spent double and then you know, then you know where you are.
Oh, buddy, we're pals now.
I think that's enough.
You can see every, in a way, you can see everything you've spent all the different categories.
There's one more fun thing which you can do, which you highlight all the data that you want to
put into a graph and you press the graph button and it turns.
into a fun graph.
Where's that?
So,
there should be,
if you highlight,
so say you highlight,
like,
if you've done,
I suppose ideally,
if you've done,
like, all of the different things
you'd spend on,
so like all your categories,
you had all your numbers,
I spent this on travel,
but there's,
then you'd highlight that,
including the headline,
entertainment, travel, food and everything.
Yeah.
And then you'd put it into like a pot,
and then there's a little symbol,
and it's a little symbol
that looks like a little graph.
But you could also go insert,
and then click,
chart and it will just turn it into a graph.
In a square?
Yes.
It will turn it into a graph and then you can see like,
whoa, I said more on that.
She's literally shot back in her seat.
I did not think that was going to work.
Oh, shit.
You can be making graphs akimbo.
You can be making graphs all day.
I'm going to be.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
Nowhere else would you get this sort of high-off
Octane learning. Everyone listening who uses Excel in their jobs every day going, this is not a podcast episode.
I have to turn this off. This is unbearable to listen to. I love it. I then, I was like, right, well, now there's just a graph in the middle of everything. But of course, the robot, he's desperate to help. If you click on it, the blue edge. And now I can drag to somewhere else. I can just pop that lower in the bottom. If you can drag and drop. Drag and drop. That's just popped in now in the spreadsheet just to help me visualize. Oh. Wow.
And then because you're a more visual person, that will help you see what you're spending your money on, what you're not spending your money on, what you need to pull back on.
And I think like, yeah, there's so many more things.
But even just learning about the sum and how to add stuff up, because when I've got my little income ingoings and out, you know, I put all my incommings in so that I could have some idea of how bad my tax returns are going to be.
Just that's some idea.
The sum is so helpful.
I use that all the time.
But I've never used some if.
Very exciting.
And then, but not just some if, like there are so many things.
There are so many.
Even just in the S category.
I'm looking at 14 different options there.
I was going to say that we should do a part two where Fiona comes in and tells us more,
but our brains might explode.
But we should do like a...
Yeah, I'd love more.
I'd like more.
I'd like more because I can't teach it, but I was trying to.
You did such a good job, Stevie.
Fiona made us an incredible video
which I almost want to like
put up somewhere
I don't know how we can do that
it's so helpful
but trying to explain the helpful video
is quite tricky
No I think you did a really good job
You made a graph
You were swimming upstream with me
at the beginning
Stevie at the beginning of this episode
my taxes on Amazon was on a word document
and I added everything with a calculator
and I just made
a teal pie chart
It's actually just mostly teal for that large section.
Would you like a certificate?
No, not yet.
I don't want one yet.
Okay, right.
Wow.
I think you actually deserve it.
I want to be a little bit tidier.
Because I have shown a lot of my workings here
and I've had to make a number of extra columns
every time I went awry.
So there are a number of green columns
with every single number the same.
Of course.
And that's to be expected.
And that's to be expected.
Then there's a section called sex toys.
That's got nothing in it so far.
Yeah.
That was a bit of fun.
A bit of fun.
Yes, there's a number of just stuff everywhere,
but I'm really hoping to tide this up, make it neat.
I feel really good.
And I'd also like to apologise if there's any noises in the background.
It's Alison Parker, my tortoise.
She's back to full health.
Fantastic.
And by that, I mean, she's just smashing her shell against the skirting board,
just stomping all out the place.
But that, I think, added a nice atmosphere to the Excel.
We could not hear her.
So that's something.
Yeah, but it's nice to know that she's there.
the doctor. She probably was quite cross with me.
Yeah, she was very frustrated with you.
Constant. Yeah, also because before we,
when we, before we started recording,
Tessa said, that fucking tortoise runner is massive.
And she's very, very, and she's, she's a bit put out.
She's a bit put out. But thank you so much to Fiona.
Thank you so much to Tom.
You're a wonderful tortoise mother and a fantastic Excel teacher.
I wish I'd had you at school. Maybe I would not have had so many problems.
Thanks so much for listening.
If you got, if you got here, good on you.
Yeah, you can have a certificate if you made it to the end of this podcast.
I'm assuming. You made it to end of that. And then,
bye!
Thank you so much, everybody. See you next time.
Goodbye.
Hello, it's the aforementioned Marvel post-gredit experience.
A little PS for me, Tessa. Hello.
So, as you could hear from the actual episode in real time,
I was finding the whole experience quite overwhelming.
But having now sat with it for an hour,
I've actually worked out some things and why I had got so confused.
So, just in case this is also happening for you,
I exported, I went to my online banking.
I pressed the date range that I needed for my full tax year.
Then I did export as CSV.
And then I opened my Google sheets.
I pressed import, upload from computer.
Oh, Bob's your uncle.
There we go.
Very excited.
However, then Stevie was telling me how to do all these things and I just could not make it work.
So what I'm actually doing when you listen to the episode is just making extra cells and like working along at the same time.
so she isn't crossed with me.
But really, I could not do it for love nor money from the actual text that was already in there.
Anyway, having sat with it then for an hour, being like, why couldn't it work?
It turns out that when you import it from your bank, quite an annoying thing the bank does,
is that these cells, even though they've got the pound symbol in there, and they're clearly money,
the bank exported them as a text cell.
So remember how we talked about being like, it's a robot and you've got to speak the robot's language,
even though you're like, motherfucker, that's clearly money.
It thinks it's words, so there's nothing to be done.
And there's nothing I could do to change it,
apart from manually removing the pound symbol.
And I was like, I cannot remove a year's worth of pound symbol.
This is insane.
So I emailed Fee, Lord and Savior.
Who is, by the way?
Stevie doesn't mention this.
A thermal spacecraft engineer.
Jesus Christ, Stevie.
Lead with that, obviously.
Anyway, so I'm so sorry, Fee, that we didn't give you a full shout out
and your correct title.
Anyway, I emailed Fee, who replied 47 minutes later to explain what to do,
and said that that was very annoying, not my fault, thank God.
And she said, what you want to do is do Command F, like you would do to search,
and then the little search bar is going to come up,
and then there is three dots, not the way it would look on a text if you were waiting for a text,
but down, vertical.
If you click on that, it can do that, find and replace,
and you put the pound symbol in for find,
and what you replace it with is nothing,
And then you do replace all.
Ah, in one second, the problem has been solved.
And now the robot understands that those aren't text in that those are numbers.
And now suddenly everything works, which is electric.
Okay, that's the first PS.
End of PS.
It's me again.
PPS, PPS, when Stevie at the end there is explaining some if.
She's doing a mighty fine job, but she is failing to say anything about the bracket
or the commas or the double inverted speech marks that you need.
So to speak this robot's language,
you've got to do it exactly as the robot wants.
And it's called a formula.
And when she says it, she says it quite fast.
But if you Google it,
it'll have it all written out exactly for you.
And you want to do the equal sign,
some if brackets,
and then the word, you know, follow.
I'm not going to explain it to you,
audibly.
You're going to have to see it written down.
So follow that exactly with the,
I thought the commas were just like,
sort of to give or take, you know, use them if you like. But it turns out you've got to have
those commas, the robot needs them. And when you've done it correctly, it will go a nice colour.
And that's to say, yes, we're good. We've changed colour and we know what we're doing.
And then enter and it all should work. So those are just two little PSs for me. That really
helped me change my game. And thank you for staying around for the post credits. Thank you, Fee.
Okay, bye.
