Nobody Panic - How to Wassail

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

Can you believe how many episodes we've done and yet we've never discussed the hallowed tradition of Wassailing?! Unbelievable. As Twelfth Night approaches, put on your coat, grab a glass of Wassail, bring your choir, your piece of toast, your pans, your gun, the Wassail Queen, and head out into your orchard! Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. It. Apple tree, old apple tree. I see. I see.

We've come to Wasailvi. Right. Okay. So, welcome to Nobody Panic. Each week we do a how-to. Does I want to do how to Wasail? That's right. I haven't looked it up. I'll be learning. Yes, very much. Very much went in with the Gregorian Chan energy. I liked it.

It's Apple. It's Apple. It's Apple energy. It's more Apple than Gregorian Chan. It's more like a jolly. Jolly. I think yes. But there's no. no reason you can't bring a chant. You can always have a chant, of course. But it's not wholly about that kind of like, solemn.

It's not a solemn experience. I love that for them. But you can definitely bring that. The nice thing about taking a completely medieval celebration is you can simply put your own spin on it. Do you whatever you want to do? You'd be a monk. You can't.

I wouldn't recommend it, but it's fine. You can do anything you want. I, in many ways, can't believe how long it's taken us to do was sailing, given how obsessed I am with was sailing. I thought it was just a... a verb, an old verb. I didn't realize it had a day, a period of time. Really happy about that.

Why isn't it in the lexicon? Why aren't we all celebrating? I can't wait about it. And then you'll hear it and you're like, that's why. That's why it's not it. Oh, I can't wait. Okay. Well, before we do it.

It's the thing we have to do with the pig. Oh, that's why. That's why it's not. Shall we do our most adult things we've done this week section because we sometimes forget because we get so into it. I felt that happening with Wasay-Lay. Yeah, they were already Jones in. I had no interest.

You're like, sorry, well, about the pig. Yeah. Just spoiler up top, no pigs involved. Oh, okay. Sorry. Pop a pig in just for a bit of a lot. But you can, that's what you can do.

Just sprinkle. It will be a pig. Your own pig. My adult thing is, I'm wearing a polo neck. Holy fuck. I did not. How did I not know? Right?

Right? What? Tessa famously hates things on her neck. Yeah. And sort of sleeves. Yeah. And it's, is that the Unico heat tech? Yes.

I bought one the other day as well. It is the Unicloheite. Thin enough. So thin. Works though. Yes. I mean, I'm saying that you did. Just before you started recording.

Desa had like a swathes of cloth over her and a hat and there's a heater on her and you were so cold. We had to agree that I was a woman in the workplace and I had to take some of the layers off. And no. I am wearing a polo neck. Yes. And huge news. Huge news for the community. Thank you so much for asking.

I watched You've Got Mail. I don't think I've seen, I watched the Double Double. I watched Sleepless in Seattle, followed by You've Got Mail. And I was enchanted. Oh, mamma mia. We're not making rom-coms like this anymore. No, now everyone in a rom-coms sort of like knows they're in a rom-com a bit. And there's this like arch irony.

Just be lovely and love each other, I think. And also Meg Ryan, what followed Meg Ryan, I suppose, was like, kooky gals who are like very beautiful but like pretending to have a kook whereas it's very joyful watching just a full kook she's so relatable she's I am enchanted by her and Tom Hanks he's so fit he's so fit and funny and nice but also mean but he knows he's me oh my god come on when and when he's got the so correct god anyway oh correct god oh correct god also happy new year guys yeah yeah so good adult thing Tom Hanks Correct. God. Happy New Year. And this is good. This is how we start in the year of fresh. Here we go. No. Okay. So anyway, I watched, you've got mail. And her outfits, oh, come on. She's doing so many turtlenecks. Then she's got like a little pinafore over the top. And I was like, I have those pinafores. Maybe I could try a turtleneck. Went to Uniclo. Got myself the thinest, thinest possible heat. I really don't like things on my skin. And I definitely don't like them on my neck. Never want a pony neck in my life. Trying it out. Put it on. For one minute.

just went like, oh, no. But then I styled it out. Yeah. I wore it all day yesterday and now I'm wearing it today. It looks really good. What do you think? I think it looks excellent. It's a new vibe for you. Thank you so much. I feel quite smart. I suddenly feel like a winter woman. Yeah, well, you've got your detachable coughs, of course. Of course. I, um, I feel the cold. And I have these cashmere cuffs that are an old jumper with the sleeves of a jumper with a hole in. I can't believe that. You can't. I mean, looking at them, I can. Now you look at them, you're like, God, that's a rag. That's a horrid rag. I thought you'd, I was just about to go, well, look, you've got yourself some, I guess it's odd to have detachable. They're filthy.

They're filthy. They're filthy old, cut up, hold bits of sleeve that you're putting on on top of your thing. Simply buy, that hand warm, the hand warmer situation. You can literally buy them. Just buy them. Just buy them. Just please buy them. And the amount of of episodes we've done about like how to winter and like really getting through and like I'm really regressing Stevie and also I've got my canvas summer shoes on just with a bigger sock look have you done I don't know I'm regressing I'm I'm struggling no what you've done is in the last a few weeks it's suddenly got very cold very quickly with no warning really yeah so you're just you you have an adjustment period and we're seeing it now we're seeing it and seeing it hard and fast and now is

your time to adjust so before the end of the year I'll Obviously, this is, to do second that you're listening to it. We're just recording a little bit before Christmas, sorry to, you know, burst the bubble. By the time this episode airs, Tessa, you will have, you will go on, like, you'll have some cashmone clothes. You'll have your boots on and you'll be wearing your winter coat. And I won't be wearing just a summer linen over the top of the... You know what? Don't mind that. Okay, great.

You don't mind that. You are reusing it. You've layered it. If you were just wearing that and you're wearing like a hoodie underneath it, and then like you jump down of it. And then something else is a skirt that's also a shoe. Then, yeah, I have no issues with that. Whereas everything's matching. It's looking great.

We've just got to, we've just got to get into those details. Yeah, we've just got, yeah. Look at your shalak nails. Like, you're not progressing. My Christmas nails on. My Christmas nails, everybody, look like Judy Garland's ruby slippers. It does. And progression isn't a straight line.

It, you know. Thank you so much. What's your adult thing? My adult thing is that speech. Let's move on to Lafeylon. That was so nice. It's New Year. New me. New wassale. New wassail, baby. Yeah. Let's wassail. Okay. Oh, like, no, I didn't even know how to start. But it can be chan. It can be thing. The thing about my song, my apple tree song, I don't know what the tune is. No one does. No. Right. Of course. We just, we just, we only have the words. Surely it must, everything was green sleeves. So it could have been old apple tree. So you're doing green sleeves? No, sorry, that was me trying to do a Gregorian chants. Of course.

Of course it was. So there's no reason for it to be old apple tree, old apple tree. Like it doesn't... I love you are your apples. It's basically that. So we're like, we don't know that is the case. You know, so it could have been. So that's why I'm like, take this tradition.

Run with it. It's yours to take as you wish. So the word wassail, most likely from the old Norse, of course. Of course. Zes hail. And then we're like, right, but then what does that mean? Why are you just telling us that? And I mean wasail.

So the wasail itself is the drink. could not have thought it wouldn't be less that. No, right? I mean, to balance, I thought it was apples. Yeah. No, it is apples. Okay. Okay, so Waseiling itself is an ancient yule-tide tradition

that involves drinking, drinking rituals, apple trees, apples, a sort of a banishing of bad spirits and a coming of a new harvest. This is just like my sunday. Right? And that's why I thought you'd like it. And salutation to the family and to neighbours. And so you go around saying waseel or vass... Less like my Sunday.

What? Less like my Sunday. But, you know, I'm into that. Yeah. Wasail! Wasail! And then they say wasail. So you say wasail to each other.

Why? No, that's the thing we aren't really sure. Right. No, we do know a bit. Just spread joy. Why do we do anything? So the term Veshale from the Old Norse. There's also a bit of old English there.

Of course we all know the old English. Hal Westpoo. Of course. Please. Also I say, I put out of a user. Open. There are, I think I feel confident because there are so few old English speakers in the country. And I don't think any of them listen.

And when I did English show, we did an old English module. And they all pronounce that. Oh, wow. You didn't need to do it like that. But you did. There's something about the ones like that that you're like, we actually don't know for sure what pronunciation was. So you guys have all just decided it's that.

It's that. Chaucer was like, a Chaucer. Why do we think that Chaucer, Chaucer? Chaucer. Chaucer! So, why are you shouting so much? If you are listening, me like, sorry, what are they well? What's happened to them?

Go on YouTube and search anybody's either doing a Chaucerun, Chaucerian. Chaucerian. Poem or speaking old English in any way and see somebody doing it. And you're like, gosh. Gosh. That is a surprise. But also they always would do any poem. They would put on a poem, weird poem voice and be like, I don't know,

hello, it's a poem. Like, why? You don't have to, yeah. I think it's a lot of that going on. Very performative in a way that you're like, but this is actually how people spoke and I don't know if they could have been that performative in their day to day. Yeah, like, they just need it.

I need it. I know what. Like, okay. It's fine. The snorting is new and I don't know how to stop it. It's very charming. It's very mechronic. It's very mechralia.

She puts on a polandke and immediately starts to snort. Okay. So, so. It's just funny because it's like, we all went through our Meg Ryan phase like so long ago and you've like just entered it.

I only just discovered it. Sorry, she's like, attractive and like, and like, I've seen sleepless in Seattle. In Seattle. It might be Seattle, because it might be the old English.

I said, lepless or not seattle. Yeah. You're very good at it. Thank you. I did an old English in old English. Incredible. What was taught in old English? That's wild. No. They just spoke a lot. Right. There's a lot of translation. So it's like, what are we doing here? What are we doing? What are we doing? Fascinating, though. It actually was quite fascinating. I think it's, I think all the things like that are fascinating. But very old stories are often quite boring. That's the thing. Because it's not got a twist.

It's so boring, followed by like a butt hole. Yeah, a butthole. And then he gets his butt hole on. How? And then there's someone's like, put something up the butt hole. You're like, what? Okay. Bayer Wolf. Some of the Chaucerones that you're like, oh, right, they're obviously a big torso perns. I don't know them, but they must be about, like, love and fighting or something. It's about vaginas.

One of the women just puts a whole vagina out the window or something. And you're like, all right. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so the term Veshael, oh, Vespae means a good health. I do completely do. Well, one was the Norse, and one was the old English. Best sail and the best per.

Yeah. So I'm giving both the... The gravitas they deserve. I love that. They are, their literal translation is to be in good health or be fortunate. So it's literally just a sort of happy new year and good wishes. And Vazal just news like, to your health. Like, it's literally just cheers, basically.

And we might say hail and farewell. And they're all sort of stem from the same bit of the word. And it was also a thing that you cheered when you, when you drank anything the rest of the year. Okay. And so in sort of 12th century, 1140, this is sort of the earliest time anyone sort of writes down about the ceremony. But we don't know how long they've been at it for. before someone thought to put pen to paper. Of course.

For God's sake. Biroes weren't exist. No. It didn't exist until 1140. Famously, when Geoffrey of Monmouth found a pen. So it still continues to exist in some areas, in big cider areas of the country. And Bristol and Cornwall and some areas like that still continue to celebrate it today, which is very exciting. So you can go to a proper one, I'm sure it's...

Oh my God, I'd love to go to like a Cornish wassailing ceremony. I hear it's amazing. And you can. So Wazan takes place on 12th night, which is the 12th day after Christmas. Feels unrelated to the fact that the kings were showing up. I think it feels totally separate to the nativity story. And yet, why the same day? But it can be celebrated at any time in January.

So pick a day at will. Don't panic if you miss 12th night, which is the 6th of January this year. So you've got four days. But don't panic because you can do it any time. So what do you need to Wassail? Friends? Friends, please. You could wear sell solo.

Okay. It could be a private thing. Oh, wow. Definitely. But it would be funner. Cheers yourself. Yeah, it's a bit of a cheering experience. So it would be nice if there were pals.

But you definitely could do it solo. Basically a sort of hot mulled cider. Oh, love it. Right? So achievable. And then a bit of a tricky one. This. An apple tree.

Oh, that is hard. Bit of a tricky one. What about like a bowl of apples? Can I swap you just any plant in your house? Okay. Because it's more about a living thing than it is the apple. But let's get the apples on the table. Around the plant.

Around a, yeah. Okay. It sounds like a, yeah, it sounds like a Jessica's party. Let's get the apples around the living plant. Grab your mug, get the Nordic chanting on. Where I go? Okay, so the basic premise of Wessing is that you went out at night. It's dark, by the way.

So is this, are you going out like the midnight before the day of the Wussing? You're going out midnight like 10pm on the 6th. on the night of 12th night as opposed to welcome it in. And you're putting behind you yule tide. You're welcoming in the new year. And you're also, oh, sorry, I forgot crucial. You also need pans. I got to get your pans in.

Because you need to be banging your pans. For the NHS. Why you bang new pants? Joy, yes. Spirits. Evil spirits. Right. I was just so distracted by reading here that if you miss 12th night, either the 6th or the 5th of January,

you can still pass hell on old 12y night. And the 17th feels like they've just made up old 12y night, which they had to do. You know that year they swapped from the Gregorian calendar to the Julian calendar. Oh, I remember. It was a nightmare. It's basically having just been like winter, summer, night day. Yeah. Someone starts being like introducing clocks and then being like days.

Days. Day is. And you're like, oh, bloody hell. What to keep up with now, isn't there? Spring, that's new. So in 1700s, the Gregorian calendar enters the fall. And I think there was a bit of a mess up with where the date was. So I think they missed 12th night.

I just called it old 12th night. old 12y night and thought like no one will notice because of old 12y night. It has a, there's crossover with sort of a caroling thing that it might be a sort of door to door thing to go around. And so what you might do, and again, you'd have to make sure your neighbours were up to speed and ready for you. Yes. But you might go and knock on your neighbour's door, big group of you. You've got a big bowl of punch, your apple cider punch. Okay.

You sing your song at them. The Apple Tree song. Yeah. Probably. You sing your assailing song. We're going to get to the song in a minute. Okay. You then would offer them a cup from your big bowl of punch.

They would then drink it. Then you'd give them a pan. You'd give them a pan. Yeah. And then you'd say, come on out because we're going to do the spirits in your apple tree. Right. To scare the spirits away. We scare the evil spirits away out of the tree.

Right. Like pumpkins and Halloween sort of things. It's very similar. All similar energy of like we're scaring. We're banging. We're making a big scene. Get the evil spirits out of the apple tree. Let's have a good harvest.

Oh yeah. In the new year. Desperately. But if a neighbours were not prepared, a bit of a shock. Yeah. My neighbours would not really understand. something's going on. That's fine. You know you should have a wassailing party. Well, I haven't got, I was going, I haven't got a tree, but I've got a plant. So I can't

put some apples around it. Yeah. Put your own spin on it. You've just been telling me. I have exactly that. Now you can be like, well, I don't have an apple tree so I call it was sale. Like, I think you of all people can wassail. I can. Take a plant out of your house, put it on the root toes, put apples around it. We all run around banging the pants. Exactly right. Slip a note under the door of all your neighbors saying, we're going to be banging pounds at about 10 p.m. Do you want to get involved? Yeah. It's the spirit but also turns out, a bit of a surprise, we're waking up the apple trees.

Didn't expect that. Didn't expect that. At the same time, it's spiritually if apples are awake. Apples awake. Being like, wake up. There's a lot for them, actually. I see why you do need a live plant. Otherwise, that really wouldn't,

you wouldn't be able to connect with that. A bowl of apples wouldn't really connect. No, because it's a bit of, it's very much like putting aside the winter. Here we go. Connecting to nature. Connecting to nature, all of that shit. Which is why I'm like any old plant or any old tree will do. It doesn't have to be an apple tree.

But if you can find one, oh, you've hit the jackpot. Oh, yeah. Out you go to wassail your tree. I'd have made my family do it, obviously. There is an apple tree. The year that we did it, it produced the weirdest and most rotten-looking apples you've ever seen. And we were like, I guess we was sailed too hard and too weird.

We was sailed too weird. Another thing that you can do is so casually suggested, firing a gun through the branches. Again, a pole of apples in your flat, I'm not going to... Just shooting them. Shooting a bowl of apples. Shoot the ball of apples.

Okay. I think that's like optional, you know. Yeah. If you're, I don't know, American, you might have one. Get the gun out. Shoot through the tree. Again, it's all wake up. Get rid of those evil spirits.

You might want to choose a Wasale King and Queen. Oh, I think that's doable. I think that's absolutely. Who would be lead the song. The Wassel queen will then be lifted up into the boughs of the tree. Oh, God. The tree has so much more, you know, so much more integral. Going more and more.

The tree really is. The tree really is. That's a tree. You know, it's so obviously a tree. Okay, yes. Into boughs the tree. So then we would, she would then give some of the apple cider punch that we've made to pour it on the tree. Or just leave a cup in the boughs of the branch.

The cider should obviously be made from the apples of that tree. So it's to say, like, great job last year. Thank you. Just want to show you, Christmas bonus, if you will. Just want to show you what we've made with your apples. Yes. And thank you so much for your work and see you next year. That's nice.

It's quite nice. It's a real, nice big, full circle. experience. So the drink itself is a like a hot mould punch. So you can sort of put anything you like it. It doesn't have to be alcoholic. Could just be apple juice if you're not drinking. Throw some apples in. Oh, of course. You want to be throwing in some sugar, some cinnamon, some ginger, some nutmeg. Come on. This is, this is nice. Apples oranges. It feels crazy to put an orange in there because this is Apple's Day. Yeah. So don't be putting oranges, I don't think. Also, they probably didn't have oranges in like 1140, you know. If you can't fire the gun, then stick to the things that you can.

Exactly, right. They were also quite into, and this is a surprise to me about when sort of toast was invented, but there's toast. Is it not toasting? No, no, it's actually, I thought that as well. It's actual toast. It's pieces of toasted bread dipped in the drink. The villagers circle the largest apple tree.

They hang the pieces of toast soaked inside it in the branches. For the birds. For the birds. Amazing. Specifically for the robins who represent the good spirits of, of the tree, so we're scaring away the bad ones, and we're welcoming back the birds. I've never wanted anything to do so quickly in my life. Me neither. I was like, what the hell? I was literally, as I was thinking, looking at it,

I was like, we're not even, I'm not even mentioning the toast. No, the toast is integral. Oh my God, the toast is for the words. Me being like, I don't dare put that toast. If you don't put the toast, if you don't put the post, they'll kill you. Yeah. So if they're, they're going to be slightly tipsy. The old drunk Robbins are there. Oh, this is so nice. Okay, so now as we're hanging up our toast, we're singing our song. This is, of course, the Glotteshire Wasail, but you can make it your own. What do you think the tuners? That's a big question.

La la la la la la la la la. No, to the tune of Greensleeves. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Thank you so much for a green sleeve suggestion. Well, this would be trying to do green sleeves. Okay. Wasail. Wasail.

Yeah, it's more sort of spoken word. If you can't sing, do your own thing. Okay, wassail, wassail all over town. Our toast is white and our ale is brown. This is a horrible history's version of wassailing. Yeah. Okay. Our bowl is made of the white maple tree and with the wasailing bowl, we'll drink to thee.

That's great. I didn't make it up. No, I know, but I love it. So are we singing this while the woman's in the bowels of the tree and the toast has been hung up for the robins? Hung up for the Robbins. Is the woman still in the bowels of the tree? Yeah. Okay, great.

Just making sure. She can go up at any point that you feel... Fine. Okay, great. It's right in your personal ceremony. But you can stay there if she likes. And then she puts a toast up there in the barrels for the Robbins and she shows the drink. And she pours it on the tree to say how well she did.

And then she leaves the cup up for the next year. So I suppose every time she goes up. Like a must year's up there. Back in the day, cups lasted. Yeah. They were made of like stone. Yeah, but like whatever's in there is just like a fungus now. It's been up the tree for a year.

if there was like any more drink in there. So up to you. Up to you. Up to you. What happens with the cup? Yeah. And then the other song is, um, old apple tree. Old apple tree.

We've come now to wassail thee. Two bear and to bow. Apples are now. It feels like that's gone wrong somewhere. What do we think the word E now means? Enough. Wow. I can't believe I couldn't guess that.

Not to not to discredit your amazing degree in all. English. But me being like, Stevie, what the hell is he now? It's so close. It's just a word in half. Yeah. Okay. We've come to wasseli,

to bear and to bow. Apples are now. Hats full. Caps, full. Three bushel bags, full. Barns, full. And a little heap under the stairs. Not big on rhyming at the end.

That's genuinely the song. And a little heap under the stairs. She's so right. Do you want to have a little go at the tune? There's a bit more. Yeah, please. Oh, yeah, they just add E on the end of loads of words. So it says, like,

Next crown the bowl full of with gentle lambs wool. Add a sugar, nutmeg and ginger with store of ale too. And thus ye must do. Final line. To make the wassail a swinger. A swinger. One word or a swinger. One word.

Clicking through to Wikipedia. To learn. What is a swinger? It is one who's who is getting their money's worth from that degree. Oh, Wikipedia. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Wasail the tree that they may bear. Many a plum and many a pair. That's quite good. Oh, for more or less fruits they will bring as you do give them wassailing. Not clear what we mean there.

Yeah, it's not clear, but it does scan. At least it's something. And then some on the stairs over there. Yeah. And a little heap under the stairs. People desperately trying to make stairs rhyme with bow. Right? Just say out.

In our wind about, yeah. Oh, you can do, if you celebrate today, they push a small apple sapling. So you don't even have to have an apple tree. You could have like a little tiny plant. They pin the toast on. Oh, okay. But at least, you know, if it doesn't have to be a big. tree. It can just be any essence of a plant or a thing, or it has to be living, though.

Somebody, a few years later, they rethought the hats full, caps, full, three bushels, bags. And now, of course, it normally goes all under the stairs, but they've all gone all under one tree. Harrah, hurrah! So that's something. Right. It doesn't still rhyme. Still, no rhyming. I guess we just weren't into that in the old days. No. No. And nor should they be. Rhyming, of course, in the 14th century. Okay. And then that's something I don't particularly care for. A folk A book tale from Somerset, reflecting this custom, tells of the apple tree man. Already, I'm spooked. I don't like the idea. The apple tree man. I don't want him. No, thank you. No, thank you.

The spirit of the oldest apple tree and an orchard, and in whom the fertility of the orchard is thought to reside. In the tale, a man offers his last mug of mould-sided to the tree in his orchard and is rewarded by the apple-tree man, who reveals to him the location of buried gold. I was wondering when the buried gold would come into it, actually. Where's that, for God's sake? Your mug, your wassail bowl that you hand out. needs to be something nice because you're sort of a passing the bowl. Just you want to make your Wasailing cup. Basically bring your best mug. Yeah, or like a goblet or something that's your precious,

like, oh, this only comes out once a year for Wasailing. Or just something precious that ideally should have two handles, if it can, about, you know, community. Like an urn. Like an urn, if you will. Tip the ashes out of the urn and bring that to Wassel. Whasell away. No, just something that originally would have been all been passed around.

we would have shared community of the big wassailing bowl. It was a real, like, a sense of community that we all go out. We bang our pans. We welcome in the new year. We put a woman in a tree and we don't get her down again. No. And then there's toast up there for the birds. That's lovely.

I think I've maintained that you should have a wassailing party. I think that would be really fun. So then last bit is some wassailing traditions involved the puzzling wassail jug. It was a jug that had many, many holes in it. So as soon as you were tempted to drink, it, you basically got covered in the drink. A hilarious prank. It's lovely to see pranks of the past. That's sort of like when, so Nobody Panic was sponsored by Athletic Greens and we got given

a shaker and I borrowed your shaker and for some reason your shaker has a hole in it so I just shook. And then it just went everywhere. So you've done the wassailing prank on me. Fantastic. You're whistling without even realising. Every day I'm whassailing. Every day I'm whassailing. So that is the full correct traditions for the wassail.

Great. You can take any of these that feel good. And you can leave behind any that don't. I love that. And that's the magic of the wassale. It's a, but it is definitely the things that you must take are the pans. I must have you bag the pans. And I must have you a sunplant, a plant of any kind.

And maybe like an apple involved at some point. I would love that. Well, I think you've got the drink. So you can't be worth sitting without the drink. And again, it doesn't have to be alcoholic, but it absolutely can be. Get a lovely hot, mould, punchy cider. Come on and then coats on as a community. I'm going to completely retract what I said about doing it alone.

And I'm going to say, not allowed. Plenty of festivals and things you can celebrate alone. But this is one about community. Even just one other person. Just one other person and go out and find a tree and be like, okay, we're doing this now. Get in it. Yeah, it can take ages. Or it can be very quick.

And then people already in your house. And it's like, do you want to come for a wassail and then dinner? Yes, please. Yeah. I'd love to wassail your trees. So I invite me to a wassailing party and dinner. I'd be like, I'd just be beside myself. Right.

And imagine if someone who invited you who had like more than one tree so that you could do all the trees. You could do the whole orchard. If you have got a massive orchard, I mean, who are we speaking to at this point? Anyone rule. Sorry, anybody there panicking about how big their orchard is and they can't wassel every tree. You'd simply pick the youngest and the oldest. Oh, that's nice. And you wassail them.

They've only got a handful. Do all three. And then it's a toast for the tree. Toast for you. I mean, sorry, not a physical. Very confusing. They've introduced physical toast in this. Yeah.

And I'm open to what you're saying, which is, like, maybe along the way a translator was like, well, it's toast. Like burnt. Yeah. It's bread. But it's really just, so it's very confusing to be toasting something with some toast. Yeah. Anyway, pull one out. Pull one out for two pack.

Pour one out for the tree. Have one for yourself. Pull one out for two pack. Isn't that what we say? Yeah. Famous Wasailer as well. Famous Wazelah. He'd have loved it. He'd have loved it. That's the take-home. If there's one message you can all learn.

Do you back Wazilier? He'd be Wassailing. He'd be Wassailing. Thank you so much. That was lovely. You're so welcome. Happy New Year. Well, greet me as... Oh. Evil spirits away. Okay. Oh.

That's good. Evil spirits away. Podcast studio, wake up. Make you... Very good. I'm the lady up the tree. I've chosen myself the Wassel Queen. But you can be the Wassel King. Thank you. God bless. I pour one out. I hope the podcast studio brings us a plentiful harvest this year.

Yes. And we dispel all the bad energy and bad spirits. And we welcome in the new year to a wonderful and plentiful spring. To Stevie, I say, Verheil, Vassette. Bye. I thank you.