Nobody Should Believe Me - Bonus: The Making Of

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

Andrea and her Producer Tina at Larj Media talk about how the show came to be, the journey towards finding and talking with Hope Ybarra and what you can look forward to for season 2 of the show. *** Buy Andrea's books here. To support the show, go to https://apple.co/nobodyshouldbelieveme  to listen on Apple Podcasts and just click ‘Subscribe’ on the top of the show page to listen to exclusive bonus content and access all episodes early and ad-free or go to Patreon.com/NobodyShouldBelieveMe.  *** Click here to view our sponsors. Remember that using our codes helps advertisers know you’re listening and helps us keep making the show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

True Story Media. I'm Tina Noll, founder of Large Media and producer of Nobody Should Believe Me. I'm Andrea Dunlop, host and executive producer of Nobody Should Believe Me. I'm Corinne Kiltow, producer and editor at Large Media, and I'm moderating this episode today. Well, friends, it's 2025. It's here. This year is going to be, well, one thing it won't be is boring. And that's about the only prediction I'm going to make right now. But one piece of news that I am excited to share is that the wait for my new book, The Mother Next Door, is almost over. It is coming at you on February 4th from St. Martin's Press. So soon! I co-authored

this book with friend and beloved contributor of this show, Detective Mike Weber, about three of the most impactful cases of his career. Even if you are one of the OG-est of OG listeners to this show, I promise you are going to learn so many new and shocking details about the three cases we cover. We just go into so much more depth on these stories. And you're also going to learn a ton about Mike's story. Now, I know y'all love Detective Mike because he gets his very own fan mail here at Nobody Should Believe Me. And if you've ever wondered, how did Mike become the detective when it came to Munchausen by proxy cases, you are going to learn all about his origin story in this book. And I know we've got many audiobook listeners out there, so I'm

very excited to share with you the audiobook is read by me, Andrea Dunlop, your humble narrator of this very show. I really loved getting to read this book, and I'm so excited to share this with you. If you are able to pre-order the book, doing so will really help us out. It will signal to our publisher that there is excitement about the book, and it will also give us a shot at that all-important bestseller list. And of course, if that's simply not in the budget right now, we get it. Books are not cheap. Library sales are also extremely important for books, so putting in a request at your local library is another way that you can help. So you can pre-order the book right now in all formats at the link in our show notes.

And if you are in Seattle or Fort Worth, Mike and I are doing live events the week of launch, which you can also find more information about at the link in our show notes. These events will be free to attend, but please do RSVP so that we can plan accordingly. See you out there. This episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra,

you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. How did the idea of making this a podcast come about? Since my novel, We Came Here to Forget, came out in 2019, I had been speaking more publicly about the issue of Munchausen by proxy and

talking about my personal connection to it. And as a part of that work, I got in touch with this amazing group of people. That is the Munchausen by proxy committee. That's part of APSAC, which is the American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children, which is a big umbrella organization, all interdisciplinary, you know, folks that work with kids. Just hearing all of these stories from about other cases and really understanding that this was a much bigger issue than just something that sort of affected a few families in this really isolated fashion, which I think is what everyone felt feels like when when they're going through it. And then also just was struck by how compelling these stories are. And you were sitting there thinking, I'm exactly where I need to be right now. You know, I've been estranged from my sister for a really long time. You know, these

investigations, the sort of specter of this has hung really heavily over me. And there have been long periods of time where I just didn't want anything to do with the issue. And then when I wrote my novel, you know, which tackles the issue of Manchester by proxy, I thought, okay, I'm done with it. Like, that's it. I've written my thing and like, I'm done with it. And then, you know, the book came out and then I was doing some press and I said, okay, I'll talk about it in this context because I want to raise awareness about the issue and I want people to know that, you know, this is like if someone is reading that they're not the only person to ever go through it and that kind of thing. And then I said, and then I'm done, you know, and then, so I sort of like, it was a big step in sort of getting drawn a little bit

more into doing this, into having this be a bigger part of my professional life. And I think I was feeling like, am I just a glutton for punishment to sort of be focusing on this really, you know, sad chapter of losing my relationship with my sister over the, you know, over the investigation. And so I was feeling very mixed feelings about being there. And then it was such a positive experience and meeting these professionals. A lot of people that work on this as a big part of their lives really do so at great personal expense. You know, it's not something where there's a lot of funding. It's not something where there's necessarily a lot of like institutional support.

You know, people really take a lot of flack for being involved in these cases. And so I think it was very inspiring to see this group of people. And I just thought, I think I'm supposed to be here. It feels like I'm supposed to be here. So why specifically a podcast? I was working with Tina Noel on this other project with my dad, which is sort of a memoir podcast about his life. And I was just

really sort of falling in love with the audio medium and was learning so much from Tina and just thought that she would be the right partner for this kind of project. Because it certainly is a huge challenge to figure out how to talk about this issue in a way that is compelling but also responsible. And I knew that Tina was up to the task. So then I brought it to her. And when you talked to Tina at Large Media, and Tina, you were instantly thinking, yes, this is a great topic for a podcast, but not only just because of Detective Mike Weber and his investigation, but Andrea's close relationship to it, which I understand you, at first, Andrea did not want to talk about it. But Tina, you thought, you know what, no, we need to tie this in somehow.

When you think about what moves people, it's story, and it's a personal connection to a story. And so many podcasts are focused on the topic. And there's a wise tendency, I think, to handle it academically. To say, and Andrea clearly had all of these great experts at her fingertips and had deep knowledge of this topic. And so I felt like an audience is really going to connect to this if they really understand why she is compelled to do it. And, you know, Andrea is a novelist. She is a great storyteller. And still, she was reluctant to bring her entire family into this podcast, you know, understandably so.

And so I think we together, you know, not for nothing, we handled it gently and came together and knowing that for an audience to really understand why this person is on this quest to really understand what is this? Is it a disease? Is it a crime? Is it, you know, what is this thing that my sister was really investigated for? How do I learn about it? How am I going to unpack this thing? I felt like from an audience perspective, they had to understand that heart connection that she has. She has with her sister. I saw it. I mean, we had lots of tears together about how hard that was for her family to go through, and I had met her father. So, you know, I've come to really care about them. And our editor, Lisa Gray, was also like, wow, I wonder if we can weave in that story. And there was a lot of, we were trying to figure out how to put that together

was hard. Like, how do we weave that story? And Andrea was like, there's this amazing case that is very tragic, but also ends in a positive light with the Hopi Bar case that her kids are saved, that there's some parallels here that I think that we could tie together. And so that is when I think the podcast began to, we started, the light started to shine for both of us. And then Andrea's like, you know, we could go to Texas and talk to these people. And that also was like, okay, well, we've got a story. She's got a deep heart, hearted story. She was opening her mind and, and story and life up privately together. We're just talking so, so much.

So I think it really kind of came together on that. And chemistry between the two of you, right? I mean, so, I mean, that's a lot of trust for you, Andrea, to trust in what Tina is trying to guide you into for the podcast. And then, of course, you travel Texas, Idaho, parts of Washington. So road tripping. Tell me about the snacks. I know the first thing I think about is you share Cheetos. What kind of things would you guys share, Andrea?

No, I don't want to share Tina's snacks because Tina is well-known for eating the weirdest snacks. And so I feel like, you know, we'll be walking along in Texas and she's like, okay, just try this vegan beef jerky. I swear to God it's good. And, listener, it's so disgusting. Like, I think that Vegemite is the only thing I've tasted that's more disgusting but yeah so she'll just be like over there with her with her kelp snacks we both do enjoy a Starbucks impossible breakfast sandwich that is our crossover many trips to Starbucks yeah it's very funny going on the road with Tina to Texas in particular because you know people like they like their meat in Fort Worth, Texas.

And so we, I watched her eat some sad potatoes at some barbecue joints. Very nice. Yeah, but I, you know, we really had a great time traveling together. It was not, I mean, those were like emotionally exhausting. Yes, days. I mean, having to, Andrea had to sit and hear these stories. I mean, we both had to sit and hear these stories, but she had to be, like, so present in doing these interviews and recording for hours during the day. And at the end of the day, we had to come together and, like, pal around, you know?

Yeah. Like, oh, gosh, we just, you know, had this common experience. Plus, I mean, genuinely, like you, obviously. Yeah, me too. Yeah, we have a great relationship. But, yeah, it was arduous, long recording days and sifting through these stories was a lot. Yeah. Heavy, man.

It was heavy. You know, I, going into this, had no experience as an interviewer. So I really was, I think Tina really helped me build my confidence on the fly. And I, you know, really. That's such a together thing, I will say, though, like, that is totally like, you can give direction, somebody can take it. But like, you know, there's plenty of people that can't take the direction the way that you can and absorb it and like, quick study. And so together, you used this term a long time ago, we really mind melded on things. Yeah, I could start to hear how she might ask a question or I could understand what she was getting at you know so we really

got this really like a great team all to say like you know it wasn't just like me coaching you into being good interview like together we did that I feel yeah well and I think you also taught me about like when to sort of let something land and let something breathe. I think I do have, because I am a talker, I do have sometimes that tendency to, especially when someone's talking about something really hard, like I'll jump in there and like, oh, this is what you mean, or like trying to like help someone along. And like, that's like the worst thing you can do when you're interviewing someone for an audio medium. Yeah, I think those trips were really incredible. And I just remember really specifically, I think it was after we interviewed George Honeycutt, which was one of our last interviews in Texas. And I just remember being in the lobby of the hotel and just looking at Tina and being like, oh, no, this is not just like a hobby project.

Like, we really have something here. And we were, I mean, I was just also really blown away by how willing people were to talk to me. You know, when heading into it, I was like, I didn't have necessarily, I had connections with the experts, right? So I knew Mark and Mary and, you know, Mike Weber would talk to us and that we could get to some of these other sort of expert professional people who are, to be frank, desperate for people to understand this issue better. But in terms of, you know, Hope's family and her ex-husband and some of these other people, I had no idea whether or not they'd want to talk to me or if they'd just be like, who is this person? Or how they would be. I mean, there's also like, there's, you know, this sort of magical thing that can happen when you're in an interview where you're holding space for it. And I think that we did that. Like we kept holding

the space to let them talk. But I will also say these people, I don't know if it was luck or what, but the Pucher family, they are great people. And you don't know going into it, how they're going to be, what their personality is going to be like. These were wonderful humans with open hearts and kindness, and they're funny, and they're interesting folks, you know, and it's a hard subject, very hard subject for them. And the fact that they were willing to talk about it, right? I mean, you gave them a voice. We all cried together on all, every one of those family members we cried with.

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, and it really, you know, it meant, it meant a lot to me that those people were willing to trust me because, you know, the coverage of this, these cases can go so bad. And I just think I really wanted to do right by, by everyone that we talked to. And we were really, really deliberate on what questions we asked and sort of what we included and what we left out. And it was really an incredible experience, especially I think that that first trip, just because everyone who's been through an investigation or been through, you know, a situation in their family where there were suspicions or where there was a charge or any

sort of thing on the spectrum really feels like they're the only person that ever went through it ever in their life. And it wasn't until I sat down with a Robin Butcher, I had ever spoken to someone who'd had a personal experience of having a family member investigated. And that was extremely powerful. And honestly, that interview, when I left that interview, I was pretty overwhelmed. And I just thought, I remember kind of driving home from Tina's house and just thinking, I don't know if I can do this. You know, like, I don't know if I can sit through hours and hours and hours of this. And then I woke up the next day and I felt really good.

And I thought, no, like, this feels like what I'm supposed to do. And it's hard to talk about these things. But it's also, you know, I think these conversations were very cathartic. They were cathartic for me. I think in most cases, at least this is what it seemed like. And this was the feedback we had. It was cathartic for whoever we were talking to. Yeah.

And, you know, we've kept in touch with everybody from the podcast for the most part. And, you know, that's become its own sort of little community. One of the things that I really is a deep value of mine because, you know, I come into this not as a podcaster but already as a storyteller because I'm an author. That's my main gig. You know, I really believe in the power of stories to make people feel less alone. And I think that that's one of the best things that you can ever do as a storyteller, whether you're doing it through fiction or through nonfiction.

And I think, like, that was what we were seeing. And we were sort of seeing that relief that comes with, oh, my gosh, I'm telling you this experience and I don't have to explain it to you. You understand what I'm saying. And I don't, you're not like, I think what everyone had been through is these stories are so shocking

that what people are used to is being met with a certain amount of disbelief and, you know, wrongheaded questions. And even if they're well-meant of just like, what happened? You know, and that sort of like, you watch the blood drain from someone's face and then that isn't a very healing experience for the person who's trying to tell that story

that happened to them if just you're then dealing with the listener's shock right and so I think what we could do also was sort of like no one here is going to be shocked. And, like, we're presenting this as part of a pattern. And we're presenting this as, like, not just like the, oh, my God, how many surgeries and that kind of. And as you, so you developed some great relationships with the Butchers. At what point did you realize you were actually going to get to talk to Hope? And what did that feel like? Oh, my God. That was quite a roller coaster ride. I mean, that was many months of back and forth. You're always as a producer

trying to figure out how you're going to end it. How are you going to end this thing? Like, where are we going on this journey, right? So if we didn't interview Hope, there was this one path I'm thinking. And if we get Hope, there's this other path that I'm thinking. And the whole time you're like, well, all these episodes are starting to come together. The story's starting to come together. We're having to take all the tape from Texas that we were recording and start to process that tape and start to build the story around what's going on. And here, Andrea is diligently working to land an interview with Hope. That was really fascinating fascinating and that was definitely

the hardest part of season one like by by a long long shot right because you know by and large everyone that we reached out to said yes and then a couple people like never got back to us and so we're like all right well that person won't talk and that's fine and with Hope know, I had gotten her number from one of her family members and reached out to her, you know, right in the beginning. And she was nice enough about it and sort of said no. And then I kind of let it be and just – and I think there was some part of me when she said no that I was relieved because I was like I don't this is very fraught like I don't know and I just sort of thought like also you know I I think part of it was when I started I didn't have as much confidence as an interviewer so I was like what if I just get manipulated by this person and they get to say all the things they want to say and I just I just think I was—and I was also, like, you know, have reason to be fearful of hope. She has done some very extreme things.

So it's not, you know, like, I don't want to sort of overplay that. But, like, you know— Well, Detective Mike Weber told us don't be in a room alone with her. Don't be alone with her. Let's be honest. Yeah, he did say—he said, and I sort of laughed that off because, you know, here she is, this sort of diminutive-looking person. Well, Detective Mike Weber told us don't be in a room alone with her. Don't be alone with her. Let's be honest. Yeah, he did say, he said, and I sort of laughed that off because, you know, here she is this sort of diminutive looking person. But he's like, no, I'm serious. Don't be in the room alone with her.

You know, I let it go at first. And then the further we got into recording and that was, you know, when we first reached out to her, that was when I was first reaching out to everybody. So I first reached out to, you know, Fabian. And I hadn't done many of these interviews yet when I first reached out to her that was when I was first reaching out to everybody so I'd first reach out to you know Fabian and I hadn't done many of these interviews yet when I first reached out to Hope and she said no and I was kind of like fine whatever like I don't know how that was going to go so it's fine we'll say we reached out to you you didn't want to talk so fine and then the more that like I so got into talking and having these really deep conversations with her siblings and her dad and her ex-husband, I just thought we're making this whole, I mean, obviously the whole podcast is not about Hope. We take a lot of sort of other tracks in the podcast, but she is a huge part of

the podcast. And I sort of felt really uncomfortable of like, I'm making this podcast about someone and their voice isn't included. And I would feel like the project had sort of a greater level of integrity if we could include them. And also just that I thought Hope was going to be more open than anybody else we could find to give us that perspective. And I think because my number one goal with this podcast was really to put a human face on all of this. And I think it's very easy for us with people who have committed particularly shocking, heinous crimes. It's very easy for us to just make them a monster, lock them away, throw away the key. Let's just completely dehumanize this person, right?

They're a criminal. They're a monster. They're, you know, not a person that I would recognize. And that's just not true. And so and I knew that wasn't true. And especially because we were fleshing out this person that Hope had been in her life before she committed these crimes, where she was this really beloved family member and, you know, person in her community. And she was smart and she was all these things, right? And it's, it, I wanted people to understand that Hope was a person too. And the best way to do that would be to get her voice in there. And I also thought like, you know, she had done some interviews. So A, I thought, you know, there was a chance she would probably be open to it if I was persistent. And also, I really felt like I wanted to convince her. I was like, I think you should talk to me. I was like, I think that I'm going to ask you questions that

other interviewers are not. You know, the other interviews with her, the one Deanna Boyd from Fort Worth Star-Telegram did with her was excellent. Deanna is an excellent reporter, but she's not coming from the same perspective that I did. And I was like, I'm not going to ask you about your crime. Like, because, namely, because trying to get an honest depiction out of hope of like what she did would be a fool's errand, right? We know she's not going to tell, she's never been fully accountable for her crimes. And I knew that, you know, I knew she said she didn't remember, she had a diabetic coma, et cetera. So I knew that it wasn't going to be as though she was going to like walk us through it for me to be, here's why I did what I did. And, you know, and that wasn't even really what

I wanted to know. I really wanted to get a sense of like how she experienced the whole thing and what she thought now and how she felt looking back on it and just to get like a sense of her as a person. And I think that maybe I was a little hopeful that she would be open to treatment. I made that offer to her when we were talking. I said, listen, like I'm, you know, no brag, but like I know all the best people in the world on this topic. I mean, that's really true. Like that's because I'm on this committee. And, you know, if you want help, like if you are a person that is open to treatment for this, then like, I will help you do that. I will make those connections. I will talk to you. I will, you know, and she said at the time she was open to it, I haven't heard from her since. So who knows?

Offer still stands. You know, not that the butchers asked me to do this or that they need me to do this or that I have any place to do this, but like if there's anything about that conversation that could help them close the loop or if there was anything about that conversation that could be illuminating for her children, if they ever want to listen and certainly like there's, you know, they may not, but like I sort of just thought like if there's anything, if there's any insight that I can get out of her, like I really want to. So I just kind of persisted and I reached back out to her and I said, you know, I know you said no, but, you know, here's all the reasons I think you should talk to me. I'm really like my intentions are good here. Like I'm not trying to like make you look bad.

And I, you know, want to like I really I think this conversation could be good for you too like I you know and so we got in this back and forth where she said yes and then she said no and then she said she was going to talk to her lawyer and then I don't think that there was necessarily a lawyer I just want to interject because this was over days and weeks of this. Yeah, this was a long, this was months. This wasn't like a one-time text. This was months of back and forth. No, this was months and back and forth. Long back and forth.

It was July of 2021. And so we had done, it was like the last interview that we were trying to get. And she said yes. And we booked our trip. And we got plane tickets. And we got a hotel. And then she said, yes. And we booked our trip. And we got plane tickets. And we got a hotel. And then she said, no. And said, I've reconsidered.

And she kept saying, you know, oh, I don't want to hurt my family. And I told her, I said, like, I don't think this is going to hurt your family. Like, I have been talking to your family a lot. They're wonderful. Like, I don't think that anything that you say now is going to. Was she surprised that you were talking to her family? I don't know. Probably. Honestly. don't think that anything that you say now is gonna was she surprised that you were talking to her family I don't know I probably honestly I mean and I think that that probably also maybe was a factor and I don't know it's hard it's very hard to guess what is going on truly

in Hope's mind but you know I I told her like I don't think you know and I sort of I said okay so at that point she said you know I don't think I want to do the interview and then I said well listen like I'm coming let's just have lunch I think it would be really good for us to talk like regardless if you don't want to do the interview don't do the interview and so at that point we're like at least we could have we can talk about it later say you know we had this conversation and we met with her and and and say like you you know you don't but like I really just I want to meet like it's really become important to me to have this conversation. And that was, you know, like, was I trying to get her to agree to the interview? Yes. Was I also, did I mean it? Yes. If sitting

down with her and having a face-to-face lunch off the, off record was what was going to happen, then I was willing to fly to Idaho for that, too. This was going to be, then I was willing to fly to Idaho for that too. This was going to be like sort of my one chance to kind of like ask someone these questions. So I really like I was exactly as invested as I was portraying myself in just like having the conversation, whether I could record it or not. Playoff football is here with BetMGM. And as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, BetMGM is the best place to fuel your football fandom on every game day with a variety of exciting features. BetMGM offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19

years of age or older. Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I want to tell you about a show I love, Truer Crime from Cilicia Stanton. My favorite true crime shows are the ones where I feel like the creator has a real stake in what they're talking about. And this is definitely the case with Cilicia, who got interested in covering crime because, like many of us in this genre, she experienced it. In each episode of the show, Cilicia brings a personal, deeply insightful lens to the crime that she covers, whether it's a famous case like the Manson murders or Jonestown, or a lesser-known case that needs

to be heard, like the story of a modern lynching. She covers these stories with a fresh and thoughtful lens, helping listeners understand not just the case itself, but why it matters to our understanding of the world. Her long-awaited second season is airing now, and the first season is ready to binge. So go check out Truer Crime with Cilicia Stanton wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been listening to this show for a while, you know that I have very strong feelings about what is and is not responsible true crime content. Maybe you've heard me make some pointed comments about the producers of a certain film, or perhaps you've heard one of my dozen or so rants about a certain journalist whose name rhymes with Schmeichel. And if you've been with me for a while, you'll also know that getting Nobody Should Believe Me on the air was quite the rollercoaster.

Podcasting is just the Wild west, y'all. And these experiences are what led me to launch my new network, True Story Media, where we are all about uplifting true crime creators, doing the work, and making thoughtful survivor-centric shows. And I could not be more thrilled to announce our very first creator partner, You Probably Think This Story's About You. The first season of this enthralling show from breakout creator Brittany Ard took podcasting by storm in 2024. Zooming to the number one spot in the charts on Apple and Spotify as Brittany revealed the captivating story of a romantic deception that upended her life and traced the roots of her own complicated

personal history that led her there. Brittany is back in 2025 with brand new episodes, this time helping others tell their own stories of betrayal, heartache, and resilience. If you love Nobody Should Believe Me, I think you will also love You Probably Think This Story's About You for its themes of deception, complex family intrigue, and its raw, vulnerable storytelling. You can binge the full first season and listen to brand new episodes each week by following the show on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find it at the link in our show notes. Well, and I was blown away when I found out that you got Hope. I mean, when I saw that come up, I thought, what the?

I could not wait to listen to that. And it was very captivating to hear what she had to talk about. But, Tina, I know that you, there was a moment in the car where Tina got audio of Andrea, you being very raw from the whole experience. That was after talking to Hope. I always would record andrea in the car and stuff because we just get in these conversations that are really great so i just hit record and a lot of times she didn't know sometimes she knew but she was such a creep she would be sleeping and i would be like hey she's snoring i should probably get this

um no like you know so i would often record our conversations because they were compelling and sometimes there's insightful things that can happen. I mean, I remember when we got there and it was like emotional for both of us because we're like, A, she could not show up. And B, this is a very intense moment for Andrea's life, really, when you think about it. Like this crime, disease, all of the things that Munchausen by proxy is, this horrible act has affected her life. And so this is a really scary and important opportunity for her to have. So there's just a lot of charged emotion in there when we were on our way and after the conversation. I will tell you that conversation was very strange for me. Andrea did a great job of holding the space for hope and really just staying with it.

She was brave. And I was snowed in moments. I was like, I think she's going to get help. I mean, I really was. I was pretty naive about it. I thought, oh, maybe this will, you know, maybe she'll get better or whatever. Except the help that Andrea was offering.

That Andrea was extending. Yeah. I mean, she showed up pretending that she couldn't hear us. And there's a moment in the episode you will hear that I play tape for her. And she can hear that tape very clearly. But that interview is an important one, I think, for everybody. And I think that what happens, this has always been on my mind when like true crime or movies and things like that, the crime happens, the perpetrators caught,

they're in jail, story's over. And I'm always like, wait, what happened next? What were they like in prison? What was their life? Who are they now when they're out? Yeah. And I don't, I mean, I would, I would argue, Tina, that you were not snowed exactly. I think that was maybe your first experience with someone like Hope. Yeah, yeah. That was not my first experience with someone like Hope. Great point. You're totally right, yeah. I also think that we can hold space for a lot of what Hope said to be true in a sense.

And I think that even, you know, when she had that reaction to me saying, you know, if you want to get help, et cetera, in that moment, later that day, the next morning, she might have still felt that way. She might still just be in the middle. I mean, you know, we can't guess it at what really is going on with her. And I think it's worth remembering what Dr. Mary Sanders has told us about folks with this behavior pattern is that there's a tremendous, like crushing amount of shame that goes along with it and so I think like you know we can hope did some really terrible things that's not under dispute and I think that like whether or not people want to the people who were in her life before want to have any kind of continuing relationship with her that that's very, very tricky. It's very tricky for people to figure out how to have a relationship with a perpetrator. I mean, and that goes for everyone that I've talked to, survivors. I mean,

that's something they really struggle with. Like, can I have a relationship with my mother at all? Like, can I talk to her once a year? Can I, you know, like, what are the parameters that are going to, like, I'm going to be able to be healthy and have a relationship with this person? So that is just like extremely, extremely tricky. But I think for us as listeners and just in sort of a greater context and, you know, in terms of the professionals who look at is treatment possible, you can still have empathy for her. She is a human being. And that was one of the things that she said is like, I want people to know that I'm a human being. And that's totally valid, you know. I think like – and I think that there's a level on which we can say that someone like Hope is in a tremendous amount of pain to do these really destructive things. But then at the same time, you know, like accountability is king in this.

And so if, you know, if they're not willing to be fully accountable but I mean I don't think like Tina I think the reaction that Tina just had talking about herself in that conversation is the reaction like a lot of people have where they're like well how could you just be fooled by this person it's like because they're very compelling and like even me I mean like one of the things I felt very self-conscious about that episode because it sounds like I changed my mind about her so quickly. Because, and I'm listening back to it myself. I mean, this was totally fascinating for me to listen back to the conversation with her. But also because Tina, you know, is a creep and records me all the time.

Like, to listen to, like, what I was saying to Tina. Yeah. I mean, really, it was such a gift like to to be to listen to like me talking about it before I go in and talking about it after because you just don't normally get to hear yourself processing things and it was really interesting for me to like listen to like my genuine like raw you know because of course I felt differently about it three days later and a week later and like but in the moment especially right after you know I you know it sounds like I changed my mind about her so quickly because when I'm in the room with her we are having what is you know it was like a very sort of warm conversation yeah

you know and like because I was really trying hard to compartmentalize what I knew about her and just like give us the space to be like two women having a conversation and I think that that and that was that was how I was approaching I mean that was genuine and like my openness to hope was genuine and then I think once I walked away some of those things that that she said some some the smoke sort of started to clear i mean she is like she's an appealing warm person in real life you know she's she it's kind of uncanny i mean i i don't quite know how to like she she seems like the least threatening person you ever saw in your life and and i will say that it's i think it's human nature to want somebody to be redeemed or to be better. Redeemable.

Redeemable, yeah. And be better. And so when you're sitting in front of somebody that you know has done very, very, very, very diabolical things to helpless beings, it's really splitting your own mind to have the understanding that they also spent 10 years in prison. So in my mind, I was like, she did her 10 years. She must have gotten stupidly rehabilitated or something in prison, you know, as if our prison system does that. But that's neither here nor there. But, you know, I think that it is human nature to want them to be good.

And so it's a mind split. Especially if someone is able to, and I think this gets to, like, why these cases are so tricky, especially when someone presents like a good person. The reality is if you're sitting across from a creepy-looking guy with neck tattoos or nothing against the neck tattoo community like you know like whoever it is that we sort of conceptualize as a criminal you know you're sort of like law and order central casting criminal then you're going to be able to kind of hold that in your mind better but the reality is hope looks like the mom on the block. I mean, she really does. She looked like that then. She looks like that now. She's soft-spoken. She comes across warm. She was in tears almost the minute she sat down. You know, there is that what made her so compelling

then is what makes her so compelling now. And so I think like being able to then recognize that someone can come off this way and still be capable of truly the most monstrous things you can possibly imagine. Yeah. It's a workout for your brain. It really is. And for you both to experience that together, at least you had each other. Yes. To debrief.

Yes. Thank God. So you mentioned earlier you're still in contact with a lot of people from the season. And you've built a big community, actually much bigger than what you thought because you started a support group. So we have Munchausen Support, which is an online resource site that I started with Dr. Mark Feldman and is also a 501c3. So right now, one of the big things that we're building out is survivor support groups and support groups for family members. So we have a couple that are survivors and a couple that are for dads. That's something I started with my committee colleagues that has sort of gone along with this podcast.

And yeah, we're just, you know, that community is growing and it's one of the other things other than hearing this unanimously from experts. That's another thing just anecdotally that has made me feel pretty certain that this abuse is not as rare as it's portrayed because I just keep hearing from too many people that it's happened to them. So season two, is there going to be a season two? Oh, I hope so. We hope so. We recorded some audio from season two and we went to Tarrant County again. And the story is very compelling. It's also oddly lovely. There is some really sweet things about the story that I really hope that we get to tell.

And some of the characters that you met in season one will be in season two. But it's a brand new story with a brand new set of characters. The story that we're talking about in season two is the Brittany Phillips case. And it's one that when I heard it completely disabused me of a whole bunch of notions that I had about what this crime looked like

and what perpetrators were like. You know, we're excited to sort of debunk some of even, you know, my assumptions that I went into. And I think there's just there's a lot of really good and interesting people around this case. You know, Sheriff Weyburn and his wife being two of our main characters. And I think I really also, you know, we're looking to sort of shift the focus to talking about survivors. And I think that that's something that has gotten completely lost in the coverage of these cases. You know, unfortunately, a lot of the media coverage of these cases involves cases where the child dies. And we don't talk about any cases where the child dies.

Even in the cases that we talk about that did not go right, the interventions of the professionals who tried to help, we very strongly believe that that slowed that abuse pattern down and maybe got enough eyes on that child so that they survived. So, and then, you know, we are obviously talking about also some cases where there were criminal charges. So I think, you know, we really want to shift that conversation to, yeah, how does life go on after these cases? What I've come to in looking at, you know, again, like I always say, I'm like, okay, I'm just going to do this and then I'm done. And so we made the first season and then I'm like, okay, that's just a limited series and we're done.

And then I was like, no, actually, there's so much more to say. And I think they're just there. It's a fascinating topic. There's a lot of things to explore. It's really underexplored. And the stories are so compelling. And I had not met any survivors until I did the first season of this podcast. And now I've met a bunch. And I'm so inspired by them because this is a type of abuse.

And every survivor that I've talked to was not separated from their abuser. So they were raised by that person until they were 18 and left home. And so it's the kind of thing where I think people can sometimes look at these cases and just think like, oh, if that person is not separated from their abuser, like that abuse is so severe that like that person is going to be so messed up that they're sort of like maybe even an inclination to sort of give up on that person and just think like, oh, well, that person is going to have so many challenges. And of course, like, yeah, anybody who grows up with, you know, in a really abusive situation is going to have some challenges. But watching some of these survivors that I've talked to just be determined to sort of turn their lives around and turn their stories around is so incredible and it's so hopeful. And that's

what I really want is to give people some hope about this issue, to just say like, you know, that it's not even if the system fails, which honestly I'm pretty convinced it's going to in most cases, especially the ones that don't happen to involve Mike Weber, that there's not, you know, that we don't just sort of give up on the person who's at the center of it. If you've been listening to this show for a while, you know that I have very strong feelings about what is and is not responsible true crime content. Maybe you've heard me make some pointed comments about the producers of a certain film, or perhaps you've heard one of my dozen or so

rants about a certain journalist whose name rhymes with Schmeichel. And if you've been with me for a while, you'll also know that getting Nobody Should Believe Me on the air was quite the roller coaster. Podcasting is just the Wild West, y'all. And these experiences are what led me to launch my new network, True Story Media, where we are all about uplifting true crime creators, doing the work, and making thoughtful, survivor-centric shows. And I could not be more thrilled to announce our very first creator partner, You Probably Think This Story's About You. The first season of this enthralling show from breakout creator Brittany Ard took podcasting by storm in 2024. Zooming to the number one spot in the charts on Apple and Spotify as Brittany revealed the captivating story of a romantic deception that upended her life and traced the roots of her own

complicated personal history that led her there. Brittany is back in 2025 with brand new episodes, this time helping others tell their own stories of betrayal, heartache, and resilience. If you love Nobody Should Believe Me, I think you will also love You Probably Think This Stories About You for its themes of deception, complex family intrigue, and its raw, vulnerable storytelling. You can binge the full first season and listen to brand new episodes each week by following the show on Spotify, Apple, to brand new episodes each week by following the show on

Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find it at the link in our show notes.