Nobody Should Believe Me - On Combatting Hopelessness

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

In the wake of this week's election results, Andrea shares a minisode with her thoughts on committing yourself to a fight that feels impossible.  Want to suggest a non-profit for us to support? Drop us a line [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

True Story Media us are feeling sad and scared in the wake of the election. And listen, I don't have any hot takes on what happened here or what's going to happen next, but I do have a perspective that I thought might be helpful and hopefully bring you a little bit of comfort right now. These last five years of my professional life have been really devoted to raising awareness about Munchausen by proxy and in various ways trying to figure out how to combat these huge systemic issues that prevent us from protecting kids from abuse. And what I'm realizing this week is that this has taught me a lot about how to stay motivated in a fight that feels impossible a lot of the time. And especially it's taught me how to combat hopelessness, which I think is something that a lot of us may be feeling right now. So I wanted

to share a little bit about what I've learned. So this all started for me five years ago when my novel came out and I met Dr. Mark Feldman. He has become a mentor and a good friend in real life as well as a friend of the show. In January of 2020, he invited me to the American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children's annual conference. And this is where I met the other members of the Munchausen by Proxy Committee, many of whom have become friends and are frequent contributors to the show. This was my very first time meeting anyone who understood what I'd been through. And meeting this group of people who really cared about this issue was life-changing. Importantly, it was clear to me pretty immediately

that A, there was so much work to be done, and B, that there were specifically things that I could do to help. That as a writer and a storyteller, I could be useful to the cause and the community, that I had a role. And increasingly, this role has become really dominant in my life. And because I'm using the thing I love, storytelling, to do this work, it's really energizing, even when it's really hard. And I think this really helps to prevent burnout. So as you're thinking about what you might want to do next, think about what could be a rewarding way for you to spend that time, whether this is organizing or making art or running for office. Listen, it's all needed and it all counts.

Also, meeting this committee and starting the show and getting to meet so many more people who've been impacted by this, who really care about kids and care about this issue, has been one of the most healing things I could possibly imagine. Isolation is really the enemy here. So find the helpers, as Mr. Rogers would say. The antidote to feeling like no one cares is to finding other people who do care and they are out there, I promise. And finally, doing this work has taught me to count every win, no matter how small. There aren't often big wins to be had in my work. So you have to count progress in millimeters. You have to do what you can. You can be unsatisfied with the results while still feeling proud of your efforts and appreciating the efforts

of those around you. So make a difference where you can and expect the long haul. Decide right now that you aren't going to give up. So I'll leave you with two really personal things that I've learned in the wake of the revelations about my sister and this long road that brought me here. Number one, you have to see the truth before you can progress. I think to varying degrees this week, many of us are seeing things that we didn't really see before and it's painful, but it's a necessary step to making change. Lastly, take care of yourself and take your time. Following this crisis in my family, you know, it took me the better part of a decade to heal and be able to help anybody else. So maybe it's

not the time for you to dig in right this moment, especially if you're one of my listeners who is in a super vulnerable spot. So please take care of yourself first and foremost. And for those of us who are feeling ready, let's get in there so that all of this work doesn't fall on the people who are the most impacted. And on that note, I am going to start doing regular pro bono campaigns on the show for those many wonderful organizations out there who are doing the work to help the most vulnerable folks in our communities. And I know that many of you are accomplished activists yourselves, so please do let me know if there are organizations that you think I should be promoting here on the show. I hope this helped just a little bit.

Take care of yourselves and take care of each other. I love you all.