Normal Gossip - A Beautiful Blood Celebrity with Ronald Young Jr.

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

We are back and pettier than ever with season 6! We're joined by our Radiotopia colleague and host of Weight for It Ronald Young Jr. for a story about the ridiculous things we do when we fall... in love with familiar strangers. Follow Ronald on all social media at @ohitsbigron (Instagram, Twitter, Threads, TikTok)Subscribe to our new newsletter for writing from Kelsey and Alex, blog recommendations, and bonus secrets! You can support Normal Gossip directly by buying merch or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend at supportnormalgossip.com.Our merch shop is run by Dan McQuade. You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page: https://normalgossip.komi.io/Episode transcript here.Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at normalgossip@defector.com or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP.Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney (@mckinneykelsey) and produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs) and Ozzy Llinas Goodman. Jae Towle Vieira (@jaetowlevieira) is our associate producer. Abigail Segel (@AbigailSegel) is our intern. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor.Credits read by Jennie Vildzius.Show art by Tara Jacoby.Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm so excited to tell you that one of our favorite Radiotopia siblings, Ear Hustle, is back with a new season. Ear Hustle is a show about life inside prison, but it's not your typical prison podcast. Co-hosts Nigel Poore and Erlon Woods have recently been spending time at four California prisons and have a season's worth of funny, surprising, and unforgettable stories to share. In a recent episode, they were able to visit a groundbreaking prison hospice where they spoke to men who are grappling with the reality of dying inside prison. Also, coming up this season are stories about the objects people keep inside their prison cells, complicated mom-daughter relationships in prison, and incarcerated people who wonder
Starting point is 00:00:40 whether they've become too comfortable behind bars. Stories about life on the inside told by those who live it. Find Ear Hustle wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to the season six premiere of Normal Gossip. I'm Kelsey McKinney and in each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. We are so excited to be back, and I am so happy to be here to tell you that we have 10 hot new gossip stories for you. As always, the episodes will come out on Wednesdays at midnight Eastern time,
Starting point is 00:01:20 and so this is the first of 10 episodes in season six. We love that. Huge news. There will also be sexy additional content this season. For those of you who like links and blogs and secrets, please give us your email. There is a link to do this in the show notes. We missed you so much during this break. And if you missed us so much and maybe almost died of gossip withdrawal, consider supporting the podcast at supportnormalgossip.com. You get a monthly bonus episode and access to all previous monthly bonus episodes. It's a gossip corticopia. Okay. I am thrilled to have with me Ronald Young Jr. Ronald Young Jr. is an audio producer, host, and storyteller based in Alexandria, Virginia.
Starting point is 00:02:01 He is the host of the critically acclaimed podcast, Wait For It, which was selected by the New York Times as the best podcast for 2023. He was selected as Vulture Magazine's podcaster to watch for 2023, and he is passionate about social justice and equity. Ronald, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. I'm over the moon. I'm a big fan. Big fan, long time listener. I love that I'm here. Okay, likewise, we're huge fans of Wait For It. I'm glad to be siblings in the Radiotopia universe. I think that's a nice dynamic for us. Yeah, we both like and admire each other. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:02:35 We both like and admire. It's one thing to say I like them, but to say y'all are also admirable, I think is something special, but I'm excited. I'muffin I'm so excited to have you here. I think that we're going to have a lot of fun. The story today is Deranged, so that's exciting. Travis Bickford Can't wait. Deranged was my nickname in middle school, actually, so this is perfect. Lauren Ruffin Stop. Do you want to start off with the classic first question and tell the listeners what
Starting point is 00:03:01 your relationship to gossip is, please. – It's funny because I was raised in the church and everybody listening who has been in a church or everyone who's been associated with religion of any kind knows that the gossip network inside of a sacred holy place is out of control. So it was funny because my dad is a preacher, my mom's a missionary, so they always had the tea. And I remember the first time I think I heard some bonafide church gossip, I was like, did I even want to hear this? This is really impacting how I'm feeling about the place where we worship and all that. It feels very jarring to hear some of these stories about people, but that's my relationship. I don't necessarily love it, but I'm addicted to it like everybody else. You always want new information and a salacious bit of information is just always very exciting
Starting point is 00:03:53 to hear. Yeah. This is something that you and I actually have in common is that we are both pastors kids, which is a demented- Ooh, what's up, PK? Yeah, this is a demented choice for anyone to allow us to be together. One of my favorite jokes to make is what is a prayer request, if not a gossip grapevine, because often I feel like people are like, oh, we need to pray for Ronald because he
Starting point is 00:04:19 is really having a hard time in this very specific thing that none of you knew he was doing, right? Yes, yes. Okay, so there's that. But then we also had something called Praise and Testimony Service. Oh, I don't know what this is. Okay, so like, let me make you hear. So in Praise and Testimony Service, it's what opens a weeknight service. So you go to church, you get there and somebody sings a song and then they say, does anybody have
Starting point is 00:04:44 any testimonies? And somebody gets up and says, you know, giving honor to God, my pastor, saints and friends. I just want to tell y'all, you know, the devil tried to stop me last week, but I'm gonna tell y'all what happened. And so then they would tell the story. Like I went to work and my boss was trying to fire me and this thing happened. I would love to go to this. Oh, it's, oh, first of all, it's incredible. It doesn't happen as often anymore, but it's incredible. But that's when as often anymore, but it's incredible. But that's when you would get these long stories
Starting point is 00:05:07 about what was going on in folks' lives. And some people would tell them in a very normal gossip, anonymized, redacted way. Other people will just tell you everything. I don't care, I'll tell you everything. You know what I mean? And I remember just being, as a kid, praise and testimony service was the best part of church for me as a kid because you would get all of these nuggets of information and storytelling
Starting point is 00:05:29 in one session. But you're right, a prayer request is essentially the gossip mill. And it's also why anyone who's especially been a part of the black church knows that sometimes you don't even tell people that you're sick or that you're dealing with anything or ask for the prayer request until the trauma or the real situation is over because you don't want to be scandalized. Yes. You're like, I was struggling with this and I need prayer for that in the past.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Yes. I needed prayer and I went to one person who I knew wasn't going to tell anyone and they prayed for me and God has a victory. See you later. Yep. Yep. I love that. Do you want to talk at all about how or if gossip plays into your work on Wait For It? Ooh, it's funny because I don't think gossip actually plays into Wait For It, but it's a lot of feelings and there is a strong anecdotal framing to wait for it.
Starting point is 00:06:26 So we're dealing with some facts, of course, like things that are happening factually to like fat folks and the ways in which that we talk about our weight. But also there's just like, there's stories. We're telling you something that happened to me. I'm telling you something that happened to a friend of mine. And we try to get all the perspectives, of course, but because of that, I guess there's a sense of when something is anecdotal versus factual, there's always the sense of saying like, how true is this? Sure. If I don't have like factual
Starting point is 00:06:56 information in that. So I think there's something to be said about being able to elicit that same anecdote out of another person that then becomes an experience where we're all realizing that we're having similar experiences walking around the world. So not necessarily real tried and true gossip, but definitely stories. I'll say. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I do want to hear a good story. And I heard that you might have brought something for me. Is that, is that true? Okay. I will tell you an excerpt of a story. Years and years ago, I used to do Muay Thai boxing. I used to do this just to stay in shape. I used to be big in the MMA. So I'm like, yeah, I'm going to figure out a fight. I'm going to be out here like I'm going to be a guy that can handle himself. And I remember I joined this gym and there was two couples that started this gym. And without getting too much into the nitty gritty, one party from each of the couples started sleeping with each other.
Starting point is 00:07:57 And it led to basically the dissolution of that Muay Thai boxing gym. And it'll never be the same. There's friendships that fracture. There's people I don't talk to anymore as a complete result of this. It was completely wild. It was wild when it happened. I remember after the news came out, we went to work out. I remember going in there and one of the people who was involved in the affair was teaching
Starting point is 00:08:25 and I'm just like, man, what do you got to say right now? Are you serious? You're kind of a scumbag. It's like you need to make a comment. You bring your mic in there, you're like, hello, do you have anything to say for yourself? Yeah, it's like, hey, do you have a comment on this? First of all, what are you doing? Why are you even here? I also, so I became a jock ironically a few years ago when I started going to the gym and now it's not ironic and I just like to go there. But one thing I like about the gym is that it is such a like intimate space because everyone is like a little vulnerable. And also these are people you see all the time. So it's like very insane to me to decide to have an affair with someone that you
Starting point is 00:09:05 co-founded a gym with because I'm like, everyone's going to know immediately. Yeah, the gym is such an intimate place. You're already sweating and out of breath over there. It's like, it's not hard to imagine what else could happen possibly with Chad, if we left the gym and got a drink. Chad, if we left the gym and got a drink. I love that. Thank you for bringing me this anecdote. I will treasure it in my heart forever. I appreciate that. Ronald, would you like to hear the story that I prepared for you?
Starting point is 00:09:36 I would like nothing more that I call familiar strangers? To me, a familiar stranger is like someone that you see all the time. Like you are constantly passing each other, but you don't actually know them. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Okay. So like I have one, for example, that is this kid who lives in my neighborhood and he's like three or four, and he has a bike that doesn't have pedals and he just runs with his feet on the ground on the bike and he goes so fast. Yes. And I'm like, that's my familiar stranger fast bike kid. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Yes. I feel like with familiar strangers, that is always typically when I used to commute to work, I would develop a lot of crushes on familiar strangers. Like people that you're on the Metro, I'm like, ooh, she's cute. And I see her at least once a week. This is kind of nice. Okay, hold that thought. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:48 So our friend of a friend, we're gonna call her Callie. Callie, okay. Callie lives in a mid-sized city in the Midwest. She has lots of friends. She has this really full life, right? Like she owns a little shop. She goes to the coffee store. She goes to the bookstore.
Starting point is 00:11:04 She's like living it up, right? to the coffee store, she goes to the bookstore, she's living it up, right? Yes, romantic comedy, I love it. Yeah, she's been living here for three years. She's really integrated in the community, but six months ago, she got a new familiar stranger. Okay. And there was a problem with this familiar stranger because very quickly, he evolved
Starting point is 00:11:21 out of familiar stranger and into crush. Okay. he evolved out of Familiar Stranger and into Crush. She sees this guy like two, three times and she's like, I want him. He's like a cartoon character to her. He's always wearing well-fitting dark wash jeans and he's wearing white t-shirts always, but they're like the kind of white t-shirts
Starting point is 00:11:40 that Jeremy Allen White would wear. They're very expensive and fit very well. Yes, I call those the arm t-shirts that like Jeremy Allen White would wear, right? Like they're like very expensive and fit very well. Yes. I call those the arm t-shirts where it's just, it's just medium on the arm. That's what they're there for. Exactly. And he like wears aviator sunglasses. He has two full sleeves of tattoos. Great. She's looking at him every chance she gets and she gets so many chances because they are just constantly passing.
Starting point is 00:12:05 I love it. I love it. They have never chatted, never met, but they like make eye contact sometimes. And once at the grocery store, he smiled at her. This is great. This is a romantic comedy. Like I'm a big old sap. I'm a big old sap. I'm like, I'm rooting for reconciliations and relationships. I'm rooting for meet-cutes. I want all that stuff to happen. I want Disney to be real. Yes. Smile at the grocery store. The Hallmark movie channel should be a documentary series.
Starting point is 00:12:30 That's what I'm trying to tell you. Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. Yes. I support this. Okay. So Callie has this huge crush. Of course, when you have a crush, what do you do?
Starting point is 00:12:40 You talk nonstop to your best friend about it. Callie's best friend is named Misty. Okay. And Misty is like, Callie, you are 28 years old. Like, get it together, make a move on this guy, like do something. And Callie gives the same excuse she always gives, which is like, I have to work. I don't have time for this because Callie is like a workhorse and she like uses work to avoid all conflict in her life. As one does. Yes. So instead she's just talking about this guy all the damn time. And to the point that Misty begins to call him her invisible boyfriend, because Misty's like, no one else has ever seen this man. So one night at drinks, Misty is like,
Starting point is 00:13:23 I have had enough. Like I've had enough of you talking about this man I've never seen. You need to like meet a new man. Okay. Or you need to make a move, like pick one. You need to stop obsessing over this guy. It's a weird ultimatum, but okay. I know. And then it gets weirder because she's like, I think you should volunteer for the blood drive with me. Okay. Wait, what? How are those two things connected, Misty? Right. Halle is like, why would I do this?
Starting point is 00:13:51 And Misty's like, the context here that's important is that Misty met her boyfriend volunteering for the blood drive last year. Okay. That's the meet a new man part of this ultimatum. Yes. And I think Misty's prerogative here is like, stop being in your fucking shop all the time, right? Like go out, meet people, experience the world.
Starting point is 00:14:12 If you want love, you must allow vulnerability in your life, which is hard. Okay. Callie is skeptical and Misty is like, it'll be fun. Like just come to the blood drive. She's like selling Callie on the blood drive. What do you think? Do you think that. Like just come to the blood drive. She's like selling Callie on the blood drive. What do you think? Do you think that Callie should go to the blood drive? I mean, I always assume that anything unusual
Starting point is 00:14:33 that I'm invited to is the turning point in my own romance story. Oh. So when someone's like, I've had, I'm like, I had a friend recently who started inviting me. He was like, hey, why don't you come climbing with me? And he goes bouldering. So I've been going with him. Oh, that's a great place to be full of your life. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, cool. Well, we'll like, I'll go in here. Maybe they'll be, maybe she'll be in here. It turns out
Starting point is 00:14:55 I'm just climbing with my friend, which is also nice, but you never know what's going to be the turning point of your romantic life. So you got to say yes. Okay. Callie says yes. She's like, okay, I'll do it. I'm going to take like one day off the shop each week to help with this blood drive. Like I'm in. Okay. What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go wrong?
Starting point is 00:15:16 Misty comes to pick her up on Saturday morning. They grab coffee, right? They're driving. They turn off this big main road and into like a giant parking lot that leads to a giant building. And Callie is like, wait a second, is this blood drive at a church? Oh no.
Starting point is 00:15:35 And Misty is like, yeah, but the church is like the sponsor of this blood drive. Like they organize everything. And the way they do it is like two churches in this town are like competing against each other to get the most blood donated. Oh, that's weird. So Misty's like, it is weird, but it's like we're volunteering or whatever. So Misty's like, it's not just a Jesus thing, it's just organized through them. Like lots of people here aren't religious. And Callie's like, yeah, me, I'm not religious. And Misty's like, I thought you were Methodist. And Callie's like, I'm culturally Methodist.
Starting point is 00:16:10 I've never heard anyone describe themselves as culturally Methodist before, but I get it. I know what they mean when they say that. So yes, I get it. Okay. They enter this church. It is a big church. It is not the kind of church Callie has ever been in because it is like a church with a merch table that has like Bibles for sale, right? It's like the room is really dark
Starting point is 00:16:31 and it's like kind of like a concert venue vibe in there. Why are you saying, oh yes like that? Because this is that newfangled church that is kind of like a Ted Talk. And there is one worship leader with a visible tattoo on his sleeve who's like, you know, he's been through some stuff, but he's a really good singer and has a great band behind him. And yeah, like I know about this church. Yes. This place is so big, like the auditorium is so big, but even though there are like a hundred people here for this blood drive training, it looks like there's no one in there. Yes. Okay. Yes. I know this place well. Lauren Larkin Would you like to name this big, cool church?
Starting point is 00:17:09 Pete Slauson Ooh, it's got to be a one name thing that's kind of like catchy and also, so we'll call it, we'll call it Germinate. Lauren Larkin Oh, wow. Pete Slauson You're welcome. Lauren Larkin I love that. Thank you. Okay. Callie, Misty get in there. They're sitting at like the back of this group. Okay. When a woman who is like clearly a nurse comes in, like, you know, she's like wearing scrubs and shit and she's like, we're going to get started with registration in a few. So everyone gets seated. Everyone is already seated. Like
Starting point is 00:17:38 no one is milling about. I love it. Misty is looking at her phone. Callie is like looking around, taking it all in when all of a sudden there he is. Her familiar stranger is here. What is, okay, come on. He's walking down the aisle. Okay. She elbows Misty and she's like, it's him. And Misty's like, who?
Starting point is 00:17:57 And Callie's like, my imaginary boyfriend. And Misty's like, oh my God. He's like smiling at the nurse. He's climbing the stairs. Oh, I know who he is. That's oh my God. OK, go ahead. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I'm freaking out.
Starting point is 00:18:11 I just figured it out. Good. Keep going. He's standing on the stage. Yes. Like takes the microphone from the stand and he's like, Hey, y'all, my name is JD and I'm the worship pastor here at German Aid. Did you see that I described this person and I did, I didn't, it didn't even occur to me that you described this person. This person again.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Oh my God. That's incredible. Oh, I'm locked in. You have already given me some of your assumptions about worship pastors. Do you have any others that you would like to share at this moment in time? Oh, I think I nailed them all. Like, I mean, when you described the shirts and you described, like, the tattoo sleeves, all that, I'm like, oh yeah, no, that's the newfangled church leader.
Starting point is 00:18:54 You know what I mean? That's the person that's in charge of that. It's like the image that you evoked is that person. So they're going to talk like real cool. They're going to seem real approachable in a very specific way. And for me, it always feels like a sales pitch. But when you start to make those connections, it becomes obvious like what they're doing is trying to be like cool for Christ, which I just, yeah, I don't see it. Right. Exactly. The white t-shirt is both working class and stylish.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Exactly. Like that's the whole thing. Okay. So a couple more things I would like to add here is that worship pastors are like, they're not the head pastor, right? So they don't have all the responsibility. They're like the cool pastor. They play multiple instruments. They sing on stage. Kali is like, shit. Okay. She's like, I cannot have a crush on a worship pastor. Like, I'm barely religious. Yeah. Misty is like laughing so hard she's like bent in half, right?
Starting point is 00:19:58 She's like, nothing could be funnier than my like semi-heathen friend having a crush on the worship pastor at Germinate, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is incredible. If I'm Misty, I'm eating this up with a spoon. I'm like, I told you to come to this blood drive and look, it's your imaginary boyfriend. I made this connection.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Now you have to make the move. Both of my ultimatums became one. One ultimatum. It's a circle. It's no longer a vignet grab. It's a circle. It's an Ouroboros. Yeah, yeah a circle. It's a Ouroboros. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Ouroboros. So JD is on the stage, right? It's one of those places that has like the two screens that usually have lyrics on it. But right now it has like a slideshow because he has to like take people through all of this training because these volunteers, like they're not giving blood. They're like helping people sign up to give blood and recruiting people to give blood. So they have to learn some stuff. The first thing they have to do is set up an account on their phones. And it's not that hard. It's like you log in with your Gmail
Starting point is 00:20:56 account, they do it. JD's like, while you're in this platform, there's a section to submit a Q&A. If you submit your questions, I'll answer them after. Okay. They're like, great, whatever, they move on. He's explaining that this drive is going to run for a month and at the end, the winner of the churches will be crowned. And he's like, it doesn't really matter. The competition is just for fun. We're just trying to do some good work in the world. He's like, but if we win, we get to have a pizza party. Okay. Thanks, JD. He's like running his hands through his hair. The charisma is like radiating off of him.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Like one of those like Byzantine halos. Yes, I get it. Yes. And Callie is like sweating, right? She's like, she's like, uh-oh. Yes. By this point, Misty even is like, okay, I got to admit, like, I get it. Like I get, I see it.
Starting point is 00:21:49 I get what you're saying here. They get like halfway and JD is like, we're going to take a 10 minute break and then we'll do the Q&A. And Callie is like, I have to go outside. Like, I have to, I have to take a break. Yeah. So she goes outside with Misty, they're gabbing, and she's like, should I ask if he's single in the Q&A?
Starting point is 00:22:10 Ooh, that's a good strategy. You think so? That's a good strategy. Yes, of course. Like it's, I mean, when a door opens, again, big ol' sap, when a door opens, you always have to find a way to exploit the opening if you can, especially if you want to talk to somebody. This is the perfect way to do it.
Starting point is 00:22:30 It's a controlled environment. Perfect way to do it. She 100% should do this. The two of us are troubled because I'm always the friend that's like, oh, you think the opening band is hot? Slide into her DMs. Do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Why not? Give it a shot. Find their LinkedIn. Find their LinkedIn and then make a connection. What are you talking about? Yeah. We are the ones that are like, oh, I not? Find their LinkedIn. Find their LinkedIn and then make a connection. What are you talking about? The two of us are in sync with Misty because Misty is like, absolutely, fucking, lutely, you should do it. Like, you're obsessed with this guy. Yeah. And Callie's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:23:00 You do miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Correct. So she types, are you single with the like analog happy face in the Q and A and hit submit. They come back in JD's like, okay, welcome back in. It's time to do the Q and A. He pulls up the first question and the first question is like, how do we know if someone can't give blood? So JD goes into this whole explanation of things that make someone ineligible, you know, like having certain kinds of diseases. And he is like, you know, if you have an organ transplant or if you've been somewhere
Starting point is 00:23:29 with Zika, he's like, if you got a tattoo recently, and then he's like, don't worry, all of mine are from my reckless youth. And he winks. Kallie hears none of this. Because what she sees is that on those double screens behind JD is not only the question, but the photo from the Google account of the person who submitted it.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Oh, it's not anonymous. Oh. So, York Alley, you've submitted, Are You Single? to what you thought was an anonymous Q&A and actually has your Google photo attached. What do you do? I leave. I leave. I leave. I leave. I close my business. I moved to Peru. I started a new life, helping, helping marginalized communities.
Starting point is 00:24:12 I know I'm leaving. I'm changing my name. I can't, I can't handle that. That's too much. I can't do it. Callie cannot leave. She's in the middle of a row. Like there's no way she's getting out. Oh man. So she's panicking. She's like checking the little system on her phone to. Like there's no way she's getting out. Oh man. So she's panicking. She's like checking the little system on her phone to see if there's like an undo button to like remove the question.
Starting point is 00:24:31 When she hears the room like snicker and she looks up and there's her picture next to her message. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. JD puts his hands over his eyes and is like moving on. Okay. But he's smiling. What do you make of this? I mean, he's flattered by the question, obviously. There's something about when somebody especially as a man to be hit on feels like such an honor. And it's like it not to, especially because the power dynamics are different
Starting point is 00:25:05 and all of that, but I love an assertive woman too. So like, for her to like- You really are a sap. I really am, I'm just like, listen, I'm here for the taking, but no, if she, I can imagine myself being in that situation on a stage where somebody asks a question like that and I'm just like, oh shucks, all right, come. We got to be serious. We have a job to do.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Come on, let's move on. But I'm still going to be smiling. Exactly. This is like a great situation for JD. Right? Like it makes him look cool. Someone has hit on him. Her picture looks kind of cute up there. Right? Like this is good all around for JD. For Callie, it is less good because people are like turning around to look at her. Yeah, they're matching it. Yes. That's terrible. for JD. For Callie, it is less good because people are like turning around to look at her. Yeah, they're matching it. Yes. That's terrible. So she like leans forward so that her knees are in her mouth and is like, if God is real, I will die soon. When this session ends, like no sooner has JD been like, okay, so I'll
Starting point is 00:25:57 see you all out there. Then she and Misty are like, high tailing it out of this church. Yes. That's the move. Yes. Get out of there. They get in their car and they're both like laughing so hard that they're crying. Yes. Eventually, Misty is like, are you still going to volunteer for the blood drive? If you're Cali, do you continue on this volunteer journey? Are you helping with the blood drive? I mean, me, I listen again, I'm a sucker for a me cute.
Starting point is 00:26:23 For me, this is just a story along our our blossoming romance. It's embarrassing. But you know, the blood drive is a good thing. I still want to do it. I still want to be entrenched in this community. And if this is one of the things maybe we just end up being great friends. So yes, I'm going to keep going. I was going to ask you if you've ever entered into a state of delusion, but you already answered that question. Yes. Callie is like, I haven't offended myself enough by my behavior yet to quit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:52 And she's also like, he didn't say no. Yes. Yes. Optimism. I love it. Go. Go, Callie. She's like, if I go to these events, I'll probably run into him.
Starting point is 00:27:05 Bonus, I'm helping the world. She's like, so I'm going to do it. And she's like, maybe if I'm really, really good at it and I get a lot of people signed up, he'll have to notice me. Yes, this is great. I love this logic. This is the logic by which I operate my life. I operate it by-
Starting point is 00:27:25 You just have a permanent residence in like Delululand. Yes, I'll tell you what, I'm the guy, and this is like a meme. It's like if your crush is watching you at church, you pick up a hundred chairs. Yeah. Like I'm that guy. So this is the, her equivalent of picking up a hundred chairs.
Starting point is 00:27:45 So yes, I think she picking up a hundred chairs. So yes, I think she should 100% do this. You never know what's gonna happen, you know? Yeah, Misty is like, okay girl, like, I love this for you. It's not working. You're trying to get what you want, which I like. Great, go for it. Yeah. So the two of them are gonna work once a week, basically.
Starting point is 00:28:02 So four times total, once a week for a month. Cool. Callie texts every single person she knows, like the minute she gets home from this training, and is like, do you want to give blood? Have you ever considered giving blood? She sets up a sign up sheet in her shop to be like, consider giving blood.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Wow. OK. And to her credit, she does get a ton of people to sign up to give blood because like, it's a good thing to do. And so it's like, sure. Yeah, I'll do it. Okay. First week, she works. The blood drive trailer is situated outside a frat house. Okay. And Callie is like, this is insane. She's standing outside inviting these like 20 year old boys to come inside asking them, like, have you had a drink today? She's like restocking the snacks. You know how they have those little bags of cookies? Yep. Yep.
Starting point is 00:28:49 She's putting the little bags of cookies out, but frat boys eat so many cookies that she's putting out cookies all day. She's exhausted. Yeah. She's filling up water. She's sweaty. About an hour before her shift ends, the door to the trailer opens, and in she walks. This girl is so beautiful. Her hair looks like it was curled by Jesus and styled by his mom, right? Oh, man. Golden blonde. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Cali would ask her, where do you get your hair done? But she looks like the kind of woman who would be like, oh, I'm so sorry, it's my natural hair color. This woman is wearing a mechanic jumpsuit, but still somehow looks feminine and Kallie's like, I want to be her. I want to be this woman. And also when this woman walks in, every single nurse in the blood drive trailer is so excited to see her. They're like, oh my God, hi girl. Hey is so excited to see her. Okay. Like they're like, oh my God, hi girl. Hey, so good to see you.
Starting point is 00:29:48 They're all like captivated by this woman, right? Like she is the light and they are all moths. Okay, okay. How do you find out who this woman is? Ask one of the nurses or like, well, Misty's there. Misty probably knows Misty's, Misty's tapped in. But ask one of the nurses. Misty is not here today. Oh, she's not. Oh yeah, that's right. They's tapped in. But ask one of the nurses. Misty is not here today. Oh, she's not.
Starting point is 00:30:05 Oh, yeah, that's right. They're doing it individually. Ask one of the nurses. Yeah. Yeah. Callie leans over. She's like, who is that? And the nurse is like, oh, that's Amy.
Starting point is 00:30:13 While she says this, Amy is unloading baked goods from her bag and putting them on the table. Callie's like, how does everybody know her? And the nurse is like, oh, she's a doll. She's here all the time. And Callie's like, oh, she's a doll, she's here all the time. And Callie's like, oh, is she like a volunteer? And the nurse is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Everybody knows her because she has O negative blood type, which is apparently
Starting point is 00:30:38 the universal donor. Universal donor, yeah. So every eight weeks on the dot, Amy comes in and gives blood because her blood is so special and the city is not that big. Everyone knows her. Okay. Callie is like remembering from JD's presentation that only 7% of the American population has O negative blood.
Starting point is 00:30:59 So she's like, wow, so everybody knows this girl because she has O negative blood. And the nurse is like, well, she's also CMV negative. And Callie's like, I'm sorry, what? And the nurse is like, CMV is the virus that causes mono and herpes and chickenpox. So this girl has never had those things. So her blood is negative for CMV and O-negative. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:21 The Red Cross, I shit you not, literally calls O-negative CMV negative people heroes for babies. I don't think I like that. Because their blood is like really safe for immune deficient newborns. Okay, okay, that's fine. Could they come up with a different name? Than heroes for babies?
Starting point is 00:31:41 I don't know. Something about it is like both on the nose and a little bit awkward. Upsetting. Yeah, exactly. Unsettling. Callie's like, so this girl has the only blood safer than the blood of Christ. Okay. And the nurse is like, yeah, I guess. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Callie's looking at her and she's like, this girl has skin as perfect as her hair. She looks like a rich girl's doll. Yeah. Callie's like, so she's basically an angel. The nurse is no longer listening to her. She's talking to Amy. The nurse is like, you're not supposed to be here yet. It's only been five weeks. And Amy is like, oh yeah, I know. I'm coming in three weeks. I'm just here to drop off these like vegan sweet potato brownies for the workers. Wow. That she made? She made them? That she made. Oh, of course. She's like, I know they're
Starting point is 00:32:24 your favorite. And the nurse is like, they are my favorite. Thank you so much. I can't wait to see you in three weeks. And then just as she whooshed in, this woman whooshes out and Callie is like, oh my God, I cannot believe I met a blood celebrity. And the nurse is like, don't call her that. That's not a thing. That's not a thing. And the nurse is like, don't call her that. What do you do with this information? You've met a beautiful blood celebrity. What now?
Starting point is 00:32:55 I mean, for me, I'm just like, I try not to get swept away in like F class celebrities and F class, I'd be like situational celebrities, i.e. we're at an arcade and he has the highest score on that type things. But when he leaves here, he's still just like, you know, a guy. Brian, who's an accountant. Yeah, exactly. The accountants. Yeah. So it's like, and shout out to accountants. Y'all, y'all do y'all do the Lord's work. But like, still, like, it's just the idea of like, in the arcade, you are a celebrity, but if we leave the arcade, you're just a guy. Yeah. So yeah, no, I don't get swept up in that. So I don't think I'd do anything with this. Oh, Callie is swept away.
Starting point is 00:33:33 She texts Misty and she's like, Misty, guess what? I met a blood celebrity. And Misty is like, oh my God, I've heard about this girl. Like I heard about her last year. Misty's like, I have to meet her. And Callie is like, oh my god, you have to meet her. Like, she could literally be our new best friend. Do you have any strategies to meet the blood celebrity? I mean, easily if you know that she that's the fifth week.
Starting point is 00:34:19 And if I'm not mistaken, that's also her first week volunteering. So in three weeks, she should be back. So they just both need to be there in three weeks. So they'll meet her then. Yeah. Callie's like, when is the blood celebrity coming back in? And the nurse is like, Amy is coming back in three weeks. And Callie's like, I want to sign up to work then. I want to do my volunteering on that day instead. And the nurse is like, I'm so sorry, you can't. We're full and we need you for the other day. And Callie's like, well, could I give blood that day?
Starting point is 00:34:59 And the nurse is like, yeah, you could totally give blood that day. You can always give blood. And she's like, great, me and my friend Misty will give blood that day. Then she texts Misty and she's like, I have traded one pint of our blood each to meet the blood celebrity. And Misty is like, great. What is up with these two? I don't, wow.
Starting point is 00:35:17 This is very Laverne and Shirley. So they're like, great. On the last week of the blood drive, we will meet the blood celebrity, we will bond with her, she will be our friend. You know, I'm starting to retract my whole go for it. It's almost there has to be a level of saying like we've gone too far at some point. Like maybe we don't maybe we you know, there is has to be some sort of limit or saying, all right, all right, let's relax.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Let's just be done with this blood drive. Maybe we meet JD. But now you've added another person in there that you're trying to meet. And so if I'm them, I'd be like, hey, man, pump your brakes. Like you guys are actually giving blood just to meet a person that's not. And it's not like Dwayne The Rock Johnson. You know what I mean? We're talking about just like, you know, Amy. Just Amy. Yeah. Like, what are we talking about here?
Starting point is 00:36:03 The next week of the drive, Misty and Callie are working together. This time the blood trailer is at a Little League park. Okay. Callie, like, she's on her A game. She goes to the concession stand and she's like, could you give people a discount if they give blood? And the concession stand guy is like, yeah. So she's like getting people to give blood left and right because they're like, oh, I
Starting point is 00:36:22 get a free hot dog or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing big happens this week, but while they're there, they get an email from JD that's like, our team is ahead in the blood drive. Of course they are. When they're done, Callie's like, oh, I'm going to go to this like little restaurant and get takeout on my way home, right? Normal. She walks in and JD is there looking at his phone. Okay. Waiting for his takeout order. Okay. She's like immediately like, I feel nauseous. Yeah, but this is your move.
Starting point is 00:36:48 This is your time. Do you say hello to this man? Yeah, this is your time. Like we're back to the main thread. This is your time, Kali. Like he's right there. Do it. Like, oh, fancy meeting you here.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Like what's going on? I'm one of your blood celebrities. I'm sorry, I'm one of your blood minions. Blood minions, whatever. This is going to get ugly. Callie is like, no, I am sweaty. This is not how I want to talk to him. She turns right around and walks out. Okay. She doesn't interact with him this time, but the next week she has to. Okay. Because this week, the blood trailer is parked at one of those dog parks that also has a bar. Okay. And the sun is setting and it's like idyllic. Yes. She's out there with her clipboard getting people to sign up. She's been doing a great job of like intercepting people before they get to the bar and being like, just give blood
Starting point is 00:37:37 first and like holding their dog while they're inside the trailer. Right? Like she's doing a great job. When JD shows up with a giant golden retriever, they make eye contact and as he passes, he's like, hey, good to see you. Thanks for volunteering. Ooh, that's direct contact. She says, thank you. OK. He's so charismatic that everyone in the dog park is paying more attention to him than their own dogs. OK, like his dog is every dog's friend. Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Callie is like, I can't believe this. Like he's here. He's so close to me. Like once he's done like exercising his dog, I'm sure we can talk. She's like, I have to text Misty. Okay. So when he gets a little closer, she pulls out her phone and she like stealthily snaps a photo of him to send to Misty. But when she does this, her flash goes off. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:38:27 He looks up at her, obviously. What do you do here? What can you do? Like I'm just imagining, it's like when iPhone had that stupid picture taking sound on it. And yeah, and it was like, it's like when iPhone had that stupid picture taking sound on it. And it was like, it was so unnecessary. It's like, it's only like, what is this even for? It is like to emulate a camera. It's only to get you caught.
Starting point is 00:38:54 So the idea of like the flash being on there, it's like, this is only to get like, turn your flash off. You only need your flash on when you need your flash. Otherwise you never need your flash. And at that point you just turn it on and then you turn it right back on. Yeah, and now you've been betrayed by this like auto flash. Yes, oh my God, no.
Starting point is 00:39:11 What do I do? I don't know. I just, again, you leave, you go to Peru, you start your new life there. Callie is like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Yeah. I was trying to take a picture for my friend. Yeah. And JD is like, for your friend?
Starting point is 00:39:27 And Callie's like, uh-huh, yes. And then JD just stares at her. And Callie loses it, right? Like she cannot handle the discomfort of this. She immediately begins word vomiting. And she's like, she's like, no, no, no. It's like we haunt all the same places. I see you at the coffee shop and the dog park
Starting point is 00:39:49 and like at my little store. So like, it feels like we know each other, even though we've never met. And like, I'm the one that submitted the question to ask about if you're single. And like, I'm so sorry if that was weird, but our paths are just crossing so often. It feels kind of like predestined.
Starting point is 00:40:00 So I thought, you know, why not? Why not try? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. No. I feel so uncomfortable right now. Like, and I know I'm the one that's been pushing Kali to like, yeah, go for it. Shoot your shot. Live your dreams. Be delusional. Now I'm like, no, no, no, no, do the opposite. Just say you were taking a picture of the dog. I thought your dog was unique, but like, don't, if you do all that, now you have to be responsible for the words you just said. dog was unique. But like, if you do all that, now you have to be responsible for the words you just said. This is a terrible idea.
Starting point is 00:40:26 JD is still looking right at her. His eyes are green because of course they are. And he's like, sorry, what's your name? And she's like, oh, it's Callie. And he's like, it's nice to meet you, Callie. And then Callie says, thank you. And then he leaves. And he heard everything else she just said. And he just leaves. Uh huh. Oh, no. Why oh no, you're losing hope by the minute. It's it's gone. Like, because my thing is like, if this is again, if we look at this like a romantic comedy, this is the portion
Starting point is 00:41:05 of it where you've run into each other, you've gotten tangled up in each other's dog leashes. And if he's the he's supposed to be the one, the gracious one that's like, Oh, haha, fancy meeting you here. Hey, do you want to get a drink at the bar since you're here? Like your shifts almost over, right? Like that's what's supposed to happen. But what actually happened was he was like, nice to meet you. You're weird. I'm out of here. That's what just happened. This is over. Callie. Callie texts Misty and is like, I'm going to die. You have to meet me for drinks. And Misty is like, okay. So after her shift ends, they go to get drinks and Callie's like,
Starting point is 00:41:39 I don't know what to do here. Like I feel insane. I've maybe screwed this up forever. And Misty is like, listen, I've been really supportive of you. But I think at this point, you need to find a way to not be horny for this man. Correct. Yes. Do you have any ideas? I mean, you know, it's hard.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Like sometimes you lose, you know what I mean? Like I've been in a situation where I've been like, I thought I had a shot. It turns out I do not have a shot. So now I'm just like, you know, I crack jokes, I say hello and I like, I tamp that down. You know what I mean? Like you, you kept that, you kept that oil spill. You know what I mean? You get that out of there. Like you, you kind of just like shove it down and let, let the ulcers sprout. You know, that's what happens at that point. You know what I mean? There's nothing you can do.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Misty is like, I wish I could advise you to get guidance, like some kind of spiritual enlightenment, but I can't. And Callie's like, yeah, of course you can't. He's a worship pastor. And Misty's like, yeah, you're worshiping the hell out of him. pastor. And Misty's like, yeah, you're worshiping the hell out of him. Yeah. They drink beer after beer after beer, right? Like, they are going hard because it's like, this is bad. Her crushes may be like ruined. Yeah. Kali jokingly is like, you know, three beers deep and she's like, you know what might help us? Oh no.
Starting point is 00:43:06 you know, three beers deep. And she's like, you know, what might help us? Oh, no. The blood celebrity. She seems like she has it all together. What do you think about this? I again, like now you you're taking your mistake. You're attempting to you're attempting to save it by involving another, this is being in a casino and being down a million dollars and then going to the house and saying, yes, just let it ride. Let's see. I'm like, the best you could do is break even. You're not going to make more money this way. Misty and Callie decide that this is the best idea they've ever had. Because they're like, either way, we win. Because in one scenario, we get the blood celebrity
Starting point is 00:43:51 to help you with whatever secret powers of charisma she has, and then you get to date this guy you have a crush on. In the second scenario, we still have something to talk to the blood celebrity about, and then perhaps we can befriend her. This is a terrible idea. Do not do this. The romance of comedy is over. The credits have rolled. This is now a horror film. Like we just come on.
Starting point is 00:44:13 This isn't even just a horror film. This is the opening scene of a horror film. This is only going to get worse for the next two hours plus. Misty and Kali both wear jumpsuits to give blood. What? They want to impress the blood celebrities. Oh no, okay, now you're dressing like her, you haven't even met her.
Starting point is 00:44:30 They arrive to the blood trailer after the blood celebrity. She is already seated. They have set up like an iPad in front of her so that she can watch TV, and she's watching some show with like a president on it, right, like there's a White House. She is not wearing a jumpsuit today. Good. Callie sits down next to the blood celebrity and Misty sits on her other side, right? Like there's a White House. She is not wearing a jumpsuit today. Good.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Callie sits down next to the Blood Celebrity and Misty sits on her other side, right? So it's like Misty, Callie, Blood Celebrity. Callie is like, oh, is that House of Cards? And the Blood Celebrity is like, no, it's the West Wing. Okay. Callie is like, I just cannot stop digging myself into a hole. Like people are handing me shovels that I'm just digging away. Nobody's handing her a shovel. Let's be clear. She has an excavator and she is trained in heavy machinery and she is down at depths.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Yes. She's like about to apologize when she hears Misty go, oh my God. And Callie's like, what? And Misty points out the window and there out the window is JD. Okay, okay. And Callie is like, okay, okay. This is my opportunity, right?
Starting point is 00:45:38 She's like, oh my God, my imaginary boyfriend is here. She said that out loud? Yes. Oh no. This is enough to get the blood celebrities like attention. Oh my God, my imaginary boyfriend is here. She said that out loud? Yes. Oh no. This is enough to get the blood celebrities attention. Right? So she adjusts in her seat and Callie's like, perfect.
Starting point is 00:45:53 She hams it up a little. She's like, I just have made a fool of myself in front of this guy. I don't know what to do. The blood celebrity takes out an earbud. Callie's like, none of my friends have good advice for me here, like, I don't know what to do. She's like, how do you even flirt with a man who's that hot?
Starting point is 00:46:11 Like, I don't know. The blood celebrity ducks her head around the iPad to look out the window. And then she does a light little cough and she goes, are you talking about my fiance? Oh, of course, of course. Are you kidding me? The nurse couldn't say that?
Starting point is 00:46:34 Like come on. Callie, oh. Okay, of course, of course, of course. Okay. Callie is sweating out of every pore of her body. Every single one. She's like, well, ma'am, congratulations. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:49 But yet again, her word vomit is coming. No, no, Callie, no. She's like, that's so great for you. Like, of course he's with you. You're the blood celebrity. Oh. And the blood celebrity is like, what? I'm playing with Kelsey.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Even your calling her the blood celebrity. And Callie is like, don't worry. I'm like not going to hit on your fiance. Like my friend won't let me talk to him because, and then she realizes like she can't say any of the things that she would say there, right? Like she can't say like, I asked him if he was single, I hit on him. Like I don't want to date a pastor because all of those things are like rude. Like, I don't want to date, like, I don't want to date a pastor because all of those things are, like, rude. Yeah. So she says, don't worry, my friend won't let me talk to your fiance because she thinks
Starting point is 00:47:35 he looks mean. That was better. That was way better, Callie. Of all the things that you shouldn't say, that was the thing you should say to his fiance. Misty begins laughing uncontrollably. Okay. Kelly is like, shit. She keeps talking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:56 She says, in a desperate attempt to like, fix this. You can't. But I don't think he looks mean. I think he looks like my brother. It's like, it's like one of those choose your own adventure books, where as a kid, you're just like, I'm going to choose the worst decision I can just to see all the other decisions in the book. Yeah. And like, like there's logical decisions to make when you read it, choose your own adventure. And she's obviously like, nah, I'm going to go into the pit and see what happens.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Now I'm gonna grab the snake and see what happens. Like, no, don't do that. Do the opposite. What a just like massive fumble. Right? Yeah. Like what? OK. Everyone in the trailer is now looking at her because they're like, you think that a guy that's too hot to talk to looks like your brother?
Starting point is 00:48:48 Yeah. And Misty is just like, Oh my God, Callie. Yeah. Misty's like, you need to be quiet. And Callie's like, I know. The blood celebrity is having a great time. She's laughing quietly to herself. She's like, I'm so glad he didn't hear any of this. I don't need him to get a big head. Oh, I like her. I like Amy. She's good.
Starting point is 00:49:09 I like her. And Callie's like, of course she's magnanimous. Like, of course. Yeah. She's the kind of person that like makes you consider converting, right? She's like, this woman is so good. Yeah, oh, these are the Christians? Oh yeah, okay, I get it. Ronald, how are you feeling? Let's check in for a second. I mean, I'm concerned about Callie. I'm glad Amy is gracious. At some point I thought Misty would be the villain, and I'm just very glad that Misty, like at some point,
Starting point is 00:49:45 was like, not the one making the decision choices. And I'm realizing that Callie was kind of her worst enemy throughout this whole story. So yeah, I'm just, I'm wondering how, how does Callie wrap this up? The blood celebrity finishes giving her blood first. And she's like, it was so nice to meet you girls. And Misty's like, it was so nice to meet you too. And Callie just sits there quietly because she's like, it was so nice to meet you girls. And Misty's like, it was so nice to meet you too. And Callie just sits there quietly because she's like, I cannot do this anymore.
Starting point is 00:50:09 Pete Yeah. No, there's nothing else for you to say, Callie. Callie The minute the door closes, the two of them are like hysterically laughing again. Pete Yes. Callie's like, do you think I'm being punished for not being a Christian? And Misty's like, no, I think you're being punished for being a dumb ass. Pete Yeah. Callie's like, you know I think you're being punished for being a dumb ass. Yeah. And Callie's like, you know what the worst part is? I still think he's hot.
Starting point is 00:50:31 That's, is that the worst part? Sure, Callie, that's the worst part. I, Callie, how are you running a business, Callie? Yes. This would all like maybe be manageable and you could just like sweep it away and forget about it if it weren't for the fact that this man is her familiar stranger. So she keeps running into him, right? Like she goes to a different coffee shop, he's there. The universe keeps like placing him right in her path. We are very close to the end. And now I have a big question for you. We are very close to the end. And now I have a big question for you. No.
Starting point is 00:51:05 The church does win the blood drive battle. Germany wins. Yeah. They are going to have the pizza party. Do you go? I mean, it's a lost cause, Callie. Like who's providing the pizza? Is this Domino's?
Starting point is 00:51:25 Probably. Yeah. Then no, I'm not going. Like it's I'd go for like delicious pizza that I cannot get on my own. But like other than that, it's like, what am I socializing with y'all? No, I'm good. Like you, we did, I did my good deed. Let's move along. Misty, let's go get a drink. Let's go have dinner. But no, we don't need to go to this pizza party. But of course she went. One wrinkle for you. Callie was in fact the best at the blood drive. And so she is being
Starting point is 00:51:53 awarded a little trophy. Just mail it to me. Mail it to me in Peru. This isn't a real ceremony. This isn't a real accomplishment. Like what are we doing? Callie and Misty go. They can't not go. Of course they go. Dinguses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pizza party is at the church.
Starting point is 00:52:10 It is like not horny at all, right? Like very bright lights, bulletin boards all over the place, tons of pizzas. Everyone's eating them. It is kind of a nice time, right? Like they're drinking soda, whatever. When JD hops up on the stage and is like,
Starting point is 00:52:25 Callie, can you join me up here? Callie's like, I think I'm going to faint. Yeah. She goes up to the front and she's standing on the stage with him and he like awards her her trophy. Okay. She hears nothing. She's like fugue state, absolutely gone. Of course. Then everyone is clapping for her and she like descends the small stage and she's standing next to Misty at the front. And JD's still up there and he's like, thank you all so much for coming out to celebrate with us tonight. He's like, for our friends that aren't part of the church, you absolutely do not have to stay for this next part, but I hope you will. Okay. He's like, I'm just going to lead us in a couple of songs and a prayer.
Starting point is 00:53:06 Okay, that's fine. To thank you and to thank God for like, giving us all of this. Okay. Do you stay for this? I mean, the band is assembling. I'm already there. Like, you're at the front. Yeah, like, yeah, whatever. Just stay. Who cares? Like, you're already there. I told you not to go, but you went. So yeah, stay. Callie is like, I want to leave. And Misty's like, no, like we are at the front of this room. It makes way too big of a statement to leave, like suck it up. And Kali is like, I don't want to see him pray. And Misty's like, I think it would be good for you actually to see him pray. She's like, this man is not your imaginary boyfriend. He is a real man
Starting point is 00:53:47 that exists and is going to do things that you don't like. Yes. Yes. And so they stay and the songs are lovely and the prayer is good, but they're watching him stand up there playing the four power chords, you know? Yes, of course. I love them. And he has one hand lifted in the air. Can you explain and describe the hand in the air culture? Yeah, it's okay. So I can tell you exactly what's happening. So he has the hand up and it's almost like if you would be looking at me, it'd be like my palm would be facing you
Starting point is 00:54:16 and it'll be facing out and it's outstretched like a five, but it's up higher. And it's like, it's like you're, you're, it's almost tilted a little bit towards the sky because like it's up higher and it's like, it's like you're, you're, it's almost tilted a little bit towards the sky because like it's a worship stance in, in that, in that case. And then he has the other one while he's playing the one five, six, four. So yeah, exactly. It's like you're palming a basketball for Christ, right? Like that's like the vibe. Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I've never heard it described like that. Uh, but yes, finally, after all of this time, yeah, Callie hears that his singing voice is one octave higher than she imagined. And she sees the hand in the air. And it finally gives her the ick. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that'll do it. And she's like, Oh my God, I'm free. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:05 I'm free at last. We are at the end. How do you feel? What have you learned? Whose side are you on? I mean, I am on, I feel like I'm on Misty's side and I'm a little on Amy's side. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:22 But I feel like Callie was her own worst enemy. At some point she took a villain turn against herself and just kept like just doubling down on the worst decisions ever. Yeah, I mean, and I wanna be clear, I'm not on JD's side. He could have nipped this in the bud by saying something about his fiance. The minute he got the question, are you single?
Starting point is 00:55:44 He could have done the little, ha ha, I have a fiance, no, I'm not single. And the story ends a lot soon. Oh my God, JD's the villain. JD could have ended this a while ago. Oh yeah, I'm on Callie's side. I'm on Misty's side, but I'm on Callie's side. I talked through it, I'm good now, yes.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Do you think there are any lessons to be learned from this story? I think you have to stop at some point. You know, like there's a go, go, go. There's a like, hey, I'm gonna try this. Hey, I'm gonna go to the blood drive. Hey, I'm gonna shoot my shot. But sometimes you miss or sometimes you'd even if you,
Starting point is 00:56:23 if it looks like it was a good form, I'm gonna to shoot again I don't know maybe you try one more time and then you end it but you can't roll out one of those racks of basketballs and just keep shooting. No this is not a three-point shooting competition. She was getting the money ball in there and it was like no you've missed five shots we're done here. Ain't Caitlin Clark girl. No, you're done. Like, pack it up. I do have one tiny final update for you. Yes, let's go. Which is that she sees him all the time everywhere. Yes. And he is so nice to her.
Starting point is 00:56:59 They are both so nice to her. Yeah. Amy is like an absolute delight every time they interact. And they always invite her to church and she's always like, no, I can't go to church with you. But the girls are starting to befriend Amy. And that is the one nice shining light out of this. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:21 You know what? This is a romantic comedy. I just didn't know. Which character, I didn't know what's about. Which character. Exactly, exactly. I didn't know who, where the romance was happening. And it ends up being platonic, but I like that. There's romance in friendships. Yeah, no, I like that. Okay, yeah, yeah. I like this. This is good. I support this. Roddell, thank you so much for coming on the show. It was a delight to have you.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Wow, thanks for having me. This would be great. Of course. Anytime. Yeah. Wow. This podcast is produced by Alex Sujong-Loughlin and Ozzy Linus Goodman. Justin Ellis is Defectors Projects' editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are Defectors Business Guys. Tom Lay is our editor-in-chief. Jay Tolvera is our associate producer. Abigail Siegel is our intern. Dan McQuade runs our merch store, which you can find at normalgossip.store. Tara Jacoby designed our show art. Thank you to Jasper Wang, Catherine Xu, Patrick Redford, Israel Derimola, Ray Rado, Chris Thompson, David Roth, Dave McKenna, and Luis Páez Pumar for your
Starting point is 00:58:33 help on this season. And thanks to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber-based media company, and Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. media company, and Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. I'm Kelsey McKinney, and please remember, you did not hear this from me.

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