Normal Gossip - Anne Rice's Email With A Vampire with Mike Rugnetta

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

Mike Rugnetta graciously accepted our invitation to a vampire ball in New Orleans. Follow Mike on Instagram here. Listen to his podcast Never Post here. And here's that collab with ICYMI. Subscribe to our newsletter for writing from Rachelle, Se'era, Jae, Alex, and Kelsey, plus blog recommendations and secrets!You can support Normal Gossip directly by buying merch or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend at supportnormalgossip.com. Our merch shop is run by Dan McQuade. You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page: https://normalgossip.komi.io/Episode transcript here.Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP.Normal Gossip is hosted by Rachelle Hampton (@heyydnae) and produced by Se'era Spragley Ricks (@seera_sharae) and Jae Towle Vieira (@jaetowlevieira). Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs) is our Supervising Producer. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Show art by Tara Jacoby.Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. Support Radiotopia's fall fundraiser here. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Hi, it's Rachel from Normal Gossip. In a year that's been really tough for public media, radio, and podcasting, Radiotopia has stayed the course. As a community of independent podcasts, we welcome new shows into the fold. Shout out to Proxy with Yo-A. Shaw, try hard with Alex Sujong Lothlin, and only if you get caught with Patrick Redfern. And together, we brought more than 400 episodes to our listeners. Being a part of Radiotopia means not just that we get support from Radiotopia, but also also that I'm in community with other creators who I respect and admire. I want to shout out Mike Grugnetta, one of the host of NeverPost. He is one of our guests for season nine, and he does such an incredible job. Being a part of this community extends to the fundraiser itself. We split the money raised during the fundraiser, so your generous gifts don't just support me. They go to some of my favorite shows like articles of interest and ear hustle. At a time when the industry can feel so competitive, fractured, and isolating.

It is a joy to be in this together with other creative audio makers whose work I believe in. It would mean so much if you would invest in our community of creators by making your tax-deductible donation at Radiotopia.fm. Slash donate. Two more important things. As a bonus, when you donate before December 31st, your gift will be mashed by a generous PRX donor. That's huge. Your money can go twice as far. Plus, when you donate, you'll be invited to our holiday mixtope on.

December 4th, where all the producers will share exclusive mini-podcast, audio love letters about our favorite shows in the network. It's going to be really special, and I would love to see you there. Head to Radiotopia.fm. slash donate to support Radiotopia and our community of independent podcast today. Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and in each of episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. I hope y'all enjoyed last week's episode with none other than the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner, Malala herself. If you haven't listened yet, then what are you waiting for?

And if you have listened and find yourself wanting to know who Malala considers to be a better gossip, her friends, or like Justin Trudeau, well, then have I got a treat for you? Season, Sierra and I realized that we had so much tape we had to leave on the cutting room floor because these episodes simply cannot be two hours long. I know you guys ask for that. You don't actually want it. So in our subscriber-exclusive feed, we are publishing some of our favorite behind-the-scenes clips, including some from our episode Malala. Like she tells us about her first and only experience with Bede. Tell me you don't want to hear that. You can't. The further away I get from that recording, the more I'm like, damn. How am I going to top that? But don't worry. I've got at least a few more years with normal gossip left than me. And both Sierra and I love to compete with ourselves.

So who knows what the universe has in store? While we're waiting to find that out, I have got an incredible story for y'all today. Like, this is one of my favorite scripts I've gotten to work on. And today's guest is a familiar phase for those of y'all who listened to the show I hosted over at Slate, called In Case You Missed or I See Why Am I. Back in May 2024, we collaborated with a show called Never Post.

which is a podcast about and for the internet. We talked about what we called monocultural moments, which are these moments on the internet that break outside their niche and end up being all anyone can talk about. Think like those couple of months where we thought Kate Middleton was missing or the Titanic submersible story from 2023.

Yeah, that was two years ago. We'll link that collab in the show notes. I have a feeling y'all might want to listen to it after you hear how fun today's guest is. Today, I am joined by Mike Rugneta, a writer, producer, and host of the podcast NeverPost, which joined the Radiotopia Network earlier this year. So technically our shows are like cousins or sisters or whatever you want to call it. Mike, hello. Thank you for joining me.

Rachel, hello. It is, it's an honor to be here. I am beyond thrilled. Yay. And I'm going to be honest, a little scared, but we'll talk about that soon. Yay! That is the honor. exact overlap I want. That is the Venn diagram space that I want all of our guests to exist in,

is excited and a little bit scared. You know, I'm a rule follower at heart, so here I am. I'm just doing what I'm supposed to. Perfect. Perfect. I will ask you to kill the rule following part of yourself once we get into the gossip, because I'm going to need you to be judgmental. But before we get into that, I wanted to ask you the question that we ask all of our guests, which is, what is your relationship to gossip? I love, love, love a good story. And I especially love stories about, like, people trying to figure it out. Like, people just having challenges, interpersonal difficulties, even if it's remote, like a shared common goal, I really, really love it.

But, like, there's like a certain aspect, I think, to a lot of gossip that's, like, about people's deep personal experiences. and like I think for me that's like a sort of glass house thing like I'm pretty private you know like I don't really share a lot of my business publicly and so sometimes I hear someone else's personal business and I'm like I should know this I should know this is like this is not for me and so it makes my skin crawl a little bit for like most of my life I've been an artist like I worked in theater for a while now I work in media and so I'm surrounded by just like energy is high emotions run high people talk about other people because it's important that you understand who you're working with

and that you know you're going to be on the same emotional wavelength. And so that I think involves some amount of almost professional gossiping. Yeah. So I think that maybe like I know how to gossip in like a really narrow register. Like maybe even professional arts-related gossiping

is something that I think I can do a little bit. But no, I'm not like an interpersonal friend's gossip. People don't really bring me gossip. When my wife was pregnant with our kid, I remember, you know, she would be like, you don't have to bring me food. I want gossip. I just want you to go out into the world and get me gossip. Because that's what I'm not getting right now being out in the world. And I need, so I learned a little bit about how to gossip in that moment. I love that your wife was like, I cannot go out into the world and gather this for myself. So I'm sending you all out my hunter-gatherers to get me the good shit.

She is, I would say, a world-class eavesdropper. Oh, that's such a good skill to have. We will leave a restaurant and she'll be like, did you hear that conversation that was happening five tables over? And I'll be like, what? How were you talking to me and also? You're like, I was focusing on the chicken. The chicken was really good.

What did you think about the chicken? And she's like, well, they were breaking up. So I don't know if you want to lock the fuck in or not. Yeah. Me and your wife, I think, would get along. I think he would. She will absolutely be listening to this and, like, giving me tips about how to gossip better. Oh, please let us know what tips she gives you.

Let us know her rating on your performance over the course of this show. I will. I mean, you've told me now that you don't consider yourself a natural gossip, which makes me very, very excited to hear the gossip that I've heard you have for me. I do. I have some. I do have some I can't explain why I'm so nervous about this. I can tell.

I've been doing things in front of people for so long. People are like, do you get nervous? I'm like, no, I never get. Like, I get excited. Like, right now, nervous. I'm honored. I would say this story,

I think it's a really good kind of like character study. Ooh, I like that. And this is one of a few bits of gossip that like I am directly involved in. Like, this happened to me. I was there. Like, this is an experience that I had

When it wrapped, I was like, huh, that was wild. This is over a decade ago, maybe about a decade ago. Some friends of mine and I rent a house in the woods, like in the middle of nowhere, for another friend's birthday weekend, just like hanging out in a big house together. And one day, we all decide that what we're going to do is we're going to cook a big Italian dinner all together. So everybody has their little job and like we're going to just spend the day vaguely working on those things. until we all get together at the end of the day and eat all together. I end up being, as the person of Sicilian descent,

I'm in charge of the sauce. I mention this only because, like, it's context for the fact that there's a point in this story where the details get hazy because I have spent all day cooking sauce and drinking red wine. I'm already loving where this is going. Great, good.

So anyways, we're all hanging out in this house and there's like, there's seven. of us, I think, including a couple, let's call them Scott and Annie. So they are here, right, for the birthday celebrations. They're part of celebrating my pal's birthday, but they have their own Airbnb. They're staying at a completely different house. And Scott is the heir to the fortune of a very old international company. And Annie, who's his girlfriend at the time, works in finance. I'm going to be honest. I think that maybe she worked in finance in the way that like people who work in crypto now say that they work in finance. You know, like, I don't know what

she did. I get the sense that it was like on the fringes. Yes, I have a clear picture in my head of Scott Nanny. Okay. Yeah. The only way really I can describe how they are besides these details is that they're rich. These are people who are rich. They conduct themselves in the way that rich people do. They're at this Airbnb. You know, we're all making this big dinner. And they're both kind of doing their own thing while everybody's working on their dinner tasks. After a while Scott gets a phone call from the owner of his Airbnb, who like lives in the other part of the Airbnb. So Scott has two dogs. And the Airbnb, no dogs allowed. The owner is calling and they're like, dog, you've got to get these dogs. Yeah. Like this is against the rules. So he and Annie

fight about this. You know, there's a pointing and a shouting and a whatever. He leaves. He gets the dogs, comes back with the dogs to this Airbnb that is also no dogs allowed. Okay. As a rule follower, as previously established, this is, I'm about to go insane. Yeah. I didn't bring my dog on this weekend getaway for this reason. Eventually, dinner is done. Five of the seven of us have spent a huge amount of time all day on this big, beautiful

spread, pasta, sauce, like bread, salad, cheese. chicken, like the whole nine yards. Multiple tables have been gathered and, like, put together. One of my friends spent all this time, like, putting out beautiful place settings, and everybody lines up to get food. Who do you think is first in line? Scott is first, and Annie is second. Wow. And do you want to guess the size of the portions that they serve themselves? Massive, of course. Massive. Exorbitant. They were like, this is a family-style meal. I'm eating for a family. And I'm the family. I'm the family.

Yeah. You cooked for me. Thank you so much. This to me is like the emotional climax of the story. Like, I didn't say anything. I had been sort of in orbit the whole day being like, wow, this is weird. And like, this is just such a way to behave. I'm at the end of the line.

And I remember turning my wife and being like, these people have never, ever worried that they have maybe too much. Narratively, the story keeps going. but it just gets like weirder and weirder like odious rich people details like they fight more there was a moment

where like he had to go back to his Airbnb and by the time he had returned like some of us or most of us had gone to bed

the door was locked so instead of like ringing the doorbell he tries to break in through a window and one of my friends thinks that someone's trying to burgle the house so he goes down

and he's like ready to beat the shit out of this guy and he turns on the light and it's Scott and like they get in a shouting match because, of course, my friend is like, dude, what the fuck are you? Like, what are you doing?

But really, it's the spaghetti that sticks with me. Mike! I love that you're like, this story hinges on this pivotal moment where this sauce that I spent all day slaving over was taken. And you're doing the hand gesture. Was not distributed fairly. Was not distributed evenly. And then.

And you're like, and then later in the story, he did try to break into the house. But, like, that's actually not really that important. It's the fact that he ate too much of the sauce that I made. For everybody. No, it's true. I do think it says a lot. I feel like it's so true. Those people, they never think they have too much.

In fact, they're always thinking they don't have enough, even as they have the most. Like, they're always like, how do I get more? How do I get more? And it's like, babe, when does the more run out? Have you thought about that? it seems like you're unhappy and maybe the constant search and desire for more

is part of that? Who could say? I'm not rich though, but I do have suspicions. The theory of mind here, you know? Yes, yes. Wow, that is beautiful. I feel like there's never a weekend trip in an Airbnb that does not have some kind of story like this.

Because once you get, I think, more than four adults together. Yeah. Something's going to pop off. And then dogs, dogs that aren't supposed to be there, that's a lot. I'm scanning through my available memory of, like, friend weekends. And, yeah, there's a story for every single one of them. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to be honest, that's at least 30% of why I go.

Because I know I'm going to have a story once I leave. I'm like, okay, beautiful scenery. and someone's probably going to do something crazy and it's not going to be me because I'm going to be high. So I'm going to be watching. You're going to be on the couch? I'm going to be on the couch with my vape pin

and a glass of wine watching what's going on. It's dinner and a show. Ready for the evening entertainment. No, literally, I'm like, whatever y'all want to do, good with me. I'm going to be on the phone with my bestie once we get back, though, don't know what just happened. Shut up a camera.

Just whatever you do, just make sure it's in this general area. No, exactly. It's like, can you guys stay in the right? frame. Like, you're kind of going off screen. This isn't helpful. I miss that. Say it one more time. Yeah. That was great gossip. And now I'm looking forward to my next weekend trip with four to five adults for this very reason, because I'm going to come out with some crazy shit. Make sure to get one really rich guy. And that rich guy will not be staying at a separate Airbnb. He will be renting the Airbnb that we're in. See, you're smart. You've thought about this.

You got a scam. Thank you for. that beautiful gossip, Mike. Now I have some for you. Are you ready? I had like a wave of relief having finished telling that story and now it's like I'm back up to 10. Yes, I'm so, I'm ready and I'm excited. I love to travel in the winter, especially to places that make the cold just feel magical. And for me, Banff is one of those places. From the snow-covered peaks in the frozen lakes to the crisp mountain air. It all feels like you're stepping into a postcard. This winter, my husband and I plan to look for a cozy cabin on Airbnb near the Boat River.

We plan to search for the perfect place using guest favorites, which are the most loved homes on Airbnb. Personally, I love a woodburning fireplace, so I'll be looking out for that in the listings, and I just look forward to coming back home every evening to warm up and relax after our day full of outdoor winter adventures like snowshoeing or ice walks through Johnston Canyon. I prefer staying in a home on Airbnb over hotels when I travel because it makes our trips feel cozier and more personal. We can just relax, move at our own pace, and really enjoy that slow winter rhythm that we would not get in a hotel. I wouldn't have it any other way. There are two important things to know about today's story.

The first is that it takes place in New Orleans in the late 90s, and the second is that it involves vampires. Of course it does. Of course. Is there any story that takes place in New Orleans in the late 90s that does not involve a vampire? I couldn't say. Okay. I'm so excited. I wanted to ask, do you have any prior history with vampires?

Well, I mean, only a couple thousand years, having been one for a little. I mean, I love vampire stories. I am a self-described mall goth. When I was in high school, was really obsessed with a tabletop role-playing game called Vampire the Masquerade that my friends and I, we never. played it, ever. But I think I read the rulebook for it maybe a hundred times. Like, what?

Yeah. It's just an old tabletop role-playing game, very goth in nature, very 1990s. Wow. Yeah. A lot of the memories of like what goes on in it have been papered over by just time. Oh, I'm sure. But I can picture myself sitting in my friend Sean's basement, holding the book, like flipping through it.

So, you know, yeah, there was probably a. period of my teens where I wanted to be a vampire, either literally or metaphorically around the table with some friends? I mean, I don't know if I can personally relate to anyone who didn't at some point in their teenager years want to be a vampire. Who doesn't want to be sexy and immortal? Exactly, yeah. Okay, so we're in a good space.

I think you are perfectly placed to get the vibes of this story. So, our friend of a friend today is named Thomas, and Thomas has just moved to New Orleans to get his master's in historic preservation at Tulane. His girlfriend, Lydia, is moving with him. They had met sophomore year in a student theater club. Thomas had played Hamlet, while Lydia had played Ophelia, and they had been inseparable ever since. Okay, so just immediately, I love both of them.

I want to protect them, and I want nothing bad to happen to them. Both Thomas and Lydia are super excited to be moving to New Orleans. They both identify as a big god. Like, they're not drinking each other's blood on a regular basis. Okay, an interesting clarification. My opinion of these two is not changing, but shifting. Mm-hmm. Yeah, 75% of the clothes they own are black.

The other 25% is, like, ox blood red or, like, midnight blue. So, Thomas and Lydia are stoked about all the potential goth activities that New Orleans has to offer. Like, I don't think it's crazy to say that there's, like, real actual stuff. spooky shit in New Orleans. Like, if you want to find a ghost in America, I think New Orleans is a great place to start. Yeah, that aligns with my understanding of New Orleans. That, yeah, if you want to find spooky stuff, it's one of the places you can go. Do you believe in spooky stuff? Are you, like, agnostic? Or you just, like, I don't touch it. My vibe is, I don't think about it. And it doesn't think about me. Yeah, I don't, I don't think about it. And I hope it doesn't

think about me. When I was younger, I was definitely really into spooky stuff and was like really into the idea of ghosts and spirits and haunting and poltergeists and stuff like that. That's a pretty common fascination, or at least it was when I was growing up. Now I think I'm, yeah, I'm pretty agnostic about it. Well, unfortunately for Thomas and Lydia, they don't really get into any spooky shit in their first couple of months in New Orleans. Thomas's grad program is actually super intense and he doesn't really fit in with his grad cohort. His classmates all seem intimidated by his bridge piercing, which is the one, like, between the eyes through the bridge of the nose. Apparently, not a lot of aspiring historic preservationists have bridge piercings.

Who could have guessed? Not me. Meanwhile, Lydia's having a really hard time nailing down a full-time job. Her undergrad degree was in art history, and it turns out her parents had been right about the career prospects associated with that. So it gets desperate enough that Lydia even applies to wait tables, but turns out even restaurants went to. their waitresses to have experience. Who could have guessed? Who could have thought? Who could have thought? Not Thomas or Lydia. How long do you think it takes to settle into a new city? Like fully settle in? Like you've got a

job and like, you know, your house sort of feels like yours. I'm going to say if you're really fast, three months. Normal? Like average time? Like a year? Yeah. It takes a couple months before things start to trend upwards for Thomas and Lydia at the advice of one of his professors Thomas does take out his bridge piercing and that does help. His classmates get used to him. Plus, Lydia finds

a job. Yay, good job. Technically, it is an apprenticeship but the florist promised he would start paying her once Lydia was no longer a hazard with the pruning shears. Oh no. So, vibes are trending upward

and they start looking even better when one day at the flower shop Lydia hears about this goth bar in the city from a customer who had ordered a dozen black roses. So the next night, Thomas and Lydia dress in their finest black clothing and they head to this goth bar, which is called Louise, as in the protagonist of interview with the vampire, because this bar isn't just goth themed, it's Anne Rice theme. How familiar are you with Anne Rice? I have watched interview with a vampire. Which interview with the vampire adaptation have you seen. The first one with Tom Cruise. Perfect. Thomas

and Lydia had both seen the 1994 movie with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruz. But that was about it. So they're in a similar place. So they feel a little bit out of their depth, but the vibes of Louise are exactly what they're looking for. Like the wallpaper is red velvet.

There's not a single overhead light to be found. And the bar serves, not one. Not two, but three different kinds of absence. You got to have variety in your life. You know what I mean? It's important to have choices and why not start with absinth?

Have you ever tried absinth? I have, yeah, a bunch. I've had a fair amount of absinth in my life. What do you think of it? I'm so curious. I want to try it so bad. I think it rules. It's great.

I mean, you know, it tastes like that kind of liquor. Like it tastes like sort of anisee, licorishy, you know. And it's extremely strong, so you don't drink a lot of it. Thomas and Lydia are planning to take a cab home, so they immediately get an absent-infused cocktail before finding a table. And it's not long before they're approached by another couple. And this couple is giving Mortisha and Gomez Adams.

Like, the man is even wearing a black and gray pinstripe blazer. His name is Marcus. His wife, Michelle, has like the thickest, darkest hair that Lydia has ever seen in her entire life. And Marcus and Michelle are regulars here at Louise. In fact, they tell Lydia and Thomas that the main reason they had moved to New Orleans a decade back is because of how much they loved Anne Rice.

So when they find out that Thomas and Lydia have only seen the 1994 movie, Marcus and Michelle immediately light up like kids at Christmas or like kids at the nightmare before Christmas if you want to be aesthetically accurate. They light up like a black light. Exactly. Marcus and Michelle are like, oh, my God.

You're in for such a treat. Do you prefer hardback or paperback? We have signed copies. Are you free on Friday at 7 p.m.? So we can hand off these books. And before Thomas and Lydia can even say thank you, they have Friday evening plans to get these books. Whoa.

I would be a little scared. I would definitely be scared. Well, Thomas and Lydia are desperate for friends. And they're non-denominational gotts. So they don't have anything against Anne Rice. And once they start reading interview with the vampire, They're both like, hold up, this is great. But also, this is way gayer than the movie.

Which both Thomas and Lydia considered it be a plus. One of the things they had bonded over during that college production of Hamlet is that they both believe that there is textual evidence that Hamlet is at the very least bisexual, which is a thing that Shakespeare nerds apparently care a lot about. I say that because my best friend is a Shakespeare nerd. So finding out that Aneris' vampires are, like, explicitly gay. only made Thomas and Lydia more excited to keep meeting up with Marcus and Michelle. Okay.

And it turns out Marcus and Michelle aren't just fans of Anne Rice. They consider themselves followers of Anne Rice. Like, a huge portion of their social life is dedicated to this fandom. And if there is one place in the world where you can fill your calendar year-round with Anne Rice-themed events, it's New Orleans in the 90s. Much like the existence of an Anne-Rice bar. This detail is almost unfathomable in 2025. Well, the most important event in the Anne Rice Social Calendar is the Anne Rice Ball, which is a real thing, by the way.

Have you heard of it? No, I haven't. And I am excited to learn more. I had not before this story. But apparently, the An Rice Ball is thrown every fall by the Vampire LaSot fan club in New Orleans. This year, as in 2025, marks the 37th. Anne Rice Ball, so it's been around since before the Brad Pitt movie. The movie did not hurt ticket sales. Plus, Anne Rice was known to attend when she was alive.

The dress code for the Anne Rice Ball is extremely strict, like the website says, quote, if you are not in attire appropriate to the aesthetic and extravagance of our event, you will be turned away at the gate, and no refund will be given. Tickets this year in 2025 start at $393. Good for them. Will I be paying $390? Probably not. Will I be dressing up in accordance with the rules anyways just in my house? Maybe. I mean, listen, I love extravagance. So back in the late 90s, when Thomas and Lydia first hear about the Anne Rice Ball, it's still about a month out for them, but tickets are already sold out, which is fine, because Thomas and Lydia are enjoying hanging out with Marcus and Michelle.

All the events they've been invited to have been cool. There's obviously a lot of costuming in this community. So Thomas and Lydia get to tap into their theater kid roots, which is fun and exciting. But they're a long way from paying whatever the 1990s equivalent of $393 is. All of that starts to change, though, when they first hear about Gabriel. Mike, have you ever have, like, a self-destructive crush? Like, not enough to require, like, medical intervention.

but certainly enough that when you look back, you're like, oh, now my finest hour. Yeah, absolutely. 100%. 100,000%. Yes. So Gabriel is apparently infamous in the circles that Marcus and Michelle run in. He has allegedly been anointed by Anne Rice herself. He leads tours in a New Orleans cemetery, and rumor has it that his canines are so sharp because he's had them filed down to look like actual fangs. Other people say he was born that way

or reborn that way. Because of course this group of people is like half convinced that Gabriel is an actual vampire. Okay, everybody. All right. Chill out. As Marcus and Michelle are telling Thomas and Lydia about Gabriel, it is so clear that Marcus and Michelle are trying to play it off

like they're not that impressed. Except it just, ends up giving that scene in mean girls, you know, where it's like, I saw Regina George wearing army pants and flip-lops, so I bought army pants and flip-lops. Marcus is like, I've heard Gabriel speak Romanian. And Michelle is like, Gabriel's actually fluent in 20 languages, including Old English, Welsh, and Bavarian. All the vampire languages.

Thomas and Lydia are a little skeptical, but when Marcus and Michelle invite them to a Halloween party that is exclusive enough that Gabriel is rumored to be in attendance, it does not take Thomas and Lydia long to say yes. Thomas and Lydia super into costuming, super into Halloween, so they spend their whole week constructing their costumes, and they decide to go back to their roots. So Thomas is dressed as a period-accurate Hamlet, while Lydia is Ophelia, specifically Ophelia in that famous John Everett Malay painting. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Where she's like singing and drowning in the river.

I was going to say the, like, Hamlet, you could be Gother. It's not not gothoth, but like you could be Gother. That Ophelia in particular nailed it. Yeah, like Lydia's got flowers twined through her hair. She somehow managed to make her dress look like it's wet. So they fit right into this Halloween party because there's not a single dollars through a costume in the place. Like, it is clear from the quality of some of these costumes

that real money has gone into them. The room is full of velvet and brocade and swords that Loki looked like they could maybe actually do some real damage? This is not a party of florists' apprentices, is what you're telling me. No, no, it's not. But still, even among all this finery, it is immediately clear who Gabriel is. It's not even his costume, though it is quite impressive. He's dressed as the Count of Monte Cristo.

It's just Gabriel's entire vibe. This is the first room that they've been in in months with a single downlight, and he's standing directly underneath it, glowing. Exactly. The best way I can describe Gabriel's vibe is, have you seen the Second Lord of the Rings movie? Yes, but like when it came out, so... Okay, there's this part in the Second Lord of the Rings movie,

and I've got a visual cue here to jog your memory, but it's when Aragorn opens this huge, heavy door, and it is a peak sexual awakening moment for a lot of people. Oh, I get it. Okay, you said, oh, I get it. Tell me what you get. I get it. Like, the backlit silhouette of the attractive guy just shrouded in leathers with a sword and nice hair, the smoky air, the authority with which he does it.

The heaviness of the door is apparent from the sound design. Like, it's sort of, it's like one of those things where it's like, it's, you know, 25. frames or something, but there's a lot in those 25 frames. Thank you so much for describing that perfectly, because that is the exact vibe that Gabriel brings into this party. Yeah. You're like, this guy could open a door. Let me tell you, and he is opening one right now.

A door to my heart, exactly. Gabriel looks to be in his late 30s to early 40s. He's got dark shoulder-length hair, but he clearly goes to Great Lans to take care of. Like Lydia's a little bit like drop the blowout he's tall like over six foot two and he's got these piercing green eyes

that immediately hone in on Thomas and Lydia Marcus and Michelle even notice as the night goes on that Gabriel's gaze keeps returning to Thomas and Lydia like Marcus is clearly trying not to sound jealous

when he's like looks like you two might be the lucky ones this year Lydia's like what does that mean. Oh, no. And this is when Michelle reveals that every year, Gabriel buys three tickets to the Anne Rice Ball, which, if you remember in 2025, cost $393.93.

And he selects a couple to accompany him as his personal guest. And what happens after the ball, no one's ever really said, but no one's ever been disappointed. Uh-huh. Well, subtext. Lydia is immediately like, hell yeah. She's clearly trying and failing to play it cool. Like, her posture is suddenly incredible,

and she's, like, artfully twirling some of the flowers in her hair, and she keeps looking at Thomas trying to, like, gauge how he's processing this information. And this isn't Thomas' first bisexual rodeo. He's read about this before. Hey, everybody. My name is Bob the Drag Queen. And I'm on an exchange. And we are the host of sibling rivalry. This is the podcast where two best friends Gab, Talk, Smack, and have a lot of fun with our black queer selves.

Yeah, for sure. And, you know, we are family. So we talk about everything, honey, from why we don't like hugs to Black Lives Matter, to interracial dating, to other things, right, Bob? Yes, and it gets messy, and we are not afraid to be wrong. So please join us over here at Sibling Browell. available anywhere you get your podcast. You can listen and subscribe for free. For free, honey. I love to travel in the winter, especially to places that make the cold just feel magical. And for me, Banff is one of those places. From the snow-covered peaks in the frozen lakes to the

crisp mountain air, it all feels like you're stepping into a postcard. This, winter, my husband and I plan to look for a cozy cabin on Airbnb near the Boat River. We plan to search for the perfect place using guest favorites, which are the most loved homes on Airbnb. Personally, I love a woodburning fireplace, so I'll be looking out for that in the listings, and I just look forward to coming back home every evening to warm up and relax after our day full of outdoor winter adventures like snowshoeing or ice walks through Johnston Canyon. I prefer staying staying in a home on Airbnb over hotels when I travel, because it makes our trips feel cozier and more personal. We can just relax, move at our own pace, and really enjoy that

slow winter rhythm that we would not get in a hotel. I wouldn't have it any other way. Think about your health for a second. Are your eyes the first thing that come to mind? Probably not. But our eyes go through a lot, from squinting at screens to driving at night. That's why regular eye exams matter, and at Spex Savers, they come with an OCT 3DI health scan, which helps optometrists detect conditions at early stages. We believe OCT scans are so important they're included with every standard eye exam. Book an eye exam at Spexsavers.cavers.cai.a. I exams are provided by independent optometrists. Visit specksavers.cavers.ca to learn more. Thomas is admittedly kind of nervous when Gabriel finally approaches them.

The night is winding down. The candles have burned down low. At this point, almost everyone has dispensed with whatever character they were playing. Not Gabriel. To introduce himself, he bows low over Lydia's hand. Enchante, he says. No, absolutely not. Malady-ass Gabriel.

No. Lydia's taken like a semester and a half of French So she's like Mm-hmm, weewee, ditto Thomas can tell there are already stars in Lydia's eyes Gabriel tells Lydia and Thomas That they're the best Ophelia and Hamlet he's seen Since the original production at the Globe Theater

Okay, yeah, I mean like laying it on really thick Lydia asked Gabriel how old he is And Gabriel's like, you never ask a vampire's age I was gonna say he's gonna say he's gonna say you can't ask or he's going to say, you know, older than you think, older than I look. Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. How long would you play along with this bit? Keep in mind, Gabriel is, like, objectively really hot. Yeah. I'm going to really take my cues from Lydia that, like, the moment that she seems even remotely, like, uncomfortable or not into it, I'm going to try to break the, like, the K-Fabe or whatever. But I think I'm going to be

Really looking for that moment If I'm me Not very long at all probably Probably like a few sentences Yeah And then I'm like so like where are you from What's your real name? Yeah

Not Gabriel Your parents do What you're your parents do Ha I'm here Yeah Nothing Thomas has read has prepared him for this moment.

Luckily, though, Gabriel clearly has many years of experience, maybe even centuries. Who's to say? Me, I'm to say. This particular kind of character, I think, is bothersome to me, like, as a person in the world. But, like, I want to make sure that I'm being clear that I cast no aspersions on Thomas. And that if he's, like, actually, this fucking rules, like, sure, dog, that's, like, awesome. Great. Well, the business card, Gabriel hands them, is straight out of the last century.

Like, it's on really fancy, substantial card stock, and it's embossed with gold. And on the front is Gabriel's name, just his first name, like Cher. And on the back is an email address. No, uh-uh. Nope. Mm-mm. Thomas kind of has a similar reaction. He's like, what?

He, like, raises an eyebrow in Gabriel's size and is like, I know, but one must stay current. And with that, Gabriel sweeps out of the room, leaving nothing behind but the smell of lavender and old leather books. So, you get home, do you send Gabriel an email? I don't think I'm doing it that night. Oh, make them wait. Yeah, you know, he's been around for thousands of years. He can wait. Exactly.

What's another evening? Literally. But yeah, I'm probably sending an email if I'm one of the two of them. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. As soon as Thomas and Lydia get home, they sit down at their iMac, like the one with the big box on the back because it's the 90s, and they can pose an email to Gabriel, who responds in 10 minutes. He was waiting.

Red flag or green flag? Green flag, honestly, that is the most human thing that he's done so far. He, maybe, if we sort of imagine what he's thinking, wants to make an impression. Maybe he does really actually find these people somewhat impressive, wants to hang out with them, maybe wants to sleep with both of them, who knows, who can say. and he gives them his card, you know, wanting to be contacted. It's very humid of him to be like, yes, you know, like, they emailed me and to be excited about it and to email back.

I also think, like, email etiquette has gotten more complex and weirder over the last 30 years. 100%. And I think that that probably didn't have as big of stigma associated with it back then. Like, now it's like you respond to an email immediately and you're like, whoa, okay, hold on. No, literally, it's like, do you have a life? So I think, like, responding immediately, you know, at this time, it didn't suggest as much as it does now. Yeah. I like it.

I think it's good. Yeah. Gabriel's email is filled with all sorts of rhetorical flourishes from other times. He writes of how dazzled he had been by them at the party. Not in my long, lonely life. He writes, have I beheld such beauty? He complements the shapeliness of Thomas's calves, the slenderness of Lydia's name. Uh-huh. Very period-appropriate compliments, yes.

Like, say what you want about him, but Gabriel can write an email, you know? Thomas and Lydia are both immediately infatuated with Gabriel after reading this email. For two weeks, they're trading emails with Gabriel. Every single one of Gabriel's emails is like 900 words minimum. He is always referencing, like, the War of 1812 or the French Revolution. High effort, email. Okay. A week and a half in, Lydia and Thomas are, both like, this is getting a little ridiculous, but also their sex life has gotten so much better

since they met Gabriel. It's like they're in Hamlet all over again. I'm assuming that it does not involve him. It is just his presence has sort of awakened something in them. Yeah. Okay. An 800-word email is a red flag. Like responding immediately, great, but like writing a novel, I don't know about that. But I'm supportive of his presence generally. Even being in his orbit is good for them. Yeah. How far would you take this? Listen.

Mm-hmm. I'm listening. Maybe I don't like Gabriel, but I want to go to the party. Yeah. That's a great answer. Would current version of me hook up with an irritated guy if I knew that it meant access to the party? No. but I'm in my 40s

and like, you know, I know who I am and I know what a party's worth. Yeah, yeah. Would, like, 20-year-old me do that? Exactly. There's so much for you to experience and you should. Yeah.

I think that that version of me is, like, really giving it a thought. I'm going to say it's likely. After two weeks of increasingly lurid emails, Gabriel formally extends an invitation for them to join him as his guest of honor

at the upcoming Anne Rice Ball Do you think they celebrated by like doing a waltz? Well, Lydia's like do you know how many people want to fuck a vampire? Thomas is like

babe, you don't actually believe he's a vampire, right? Lydia. Lydia's like, of course not. That would be crazy. But then she's like, how do so many cultures have stories of vampires

if there isn't some sort of truth to it, you know? Like, Lydia's just asking questions. Lydia. I mean, what did we replace vampires with? I guess banking executives. I'd rather have vampires. Yeah, same. But Lydia's also like, Thomas, I won't do anything you're not comfortable with.

So if you don't want to go, we don't go. So you're Thomas. What do you do? I think a lot of this is wrapped up in, like, how do I feel about my relationship with Lydia? Like, is it good? is it strong? Do I want to spend a significant portion of what I can imagine of the future of my life with this person? Yeah. And if the answer to that is yes, like, I'm going to do it. Yeah, absolutely. Thomas is like pretty much in the same place. He decides it's time to put theory into practice

with the understanding that they can always go home if they want. So our friends of a friend say yes to Gabriel, who promises to come fetch them on the evening of the ball, which comes sooner than Either Thomas and Lydia are really prepared for, like, their costumes literally still have pins in some places, but nowhere visible, and that's all that matters. Yeah. So Gabriel fetches them, as promised, in a vintage convertible, and the night only goes up from there. Anne Rice herself is at the Anne Rice ball. Thomas and Lydia never see her talk to Gabriel, but towards the end of the night, Gabriel's like, oh, we ran into each other outside the bathroom. She's just as enchanted with you as I am.

and Gabriel is clearly enchanted. Like, there's obviously the usual flirty arm touches throughout the night. But also, when Lydia orders a glass of champagne, Gabriel, like, delicately lifts the glass to her lips so she can take a sip, and he's, like, making eye contact the whole time. Okay, but, like, what about Thomas, dog? Well, then there's this moment when the live music gets a little loud.

So Gabriel leans in close to Thomas' ear, so Thomas can hear him better, obviously. because it's loud. Obviously. Gabriel's hand is on the small Thomas's back and right before he leans away.

Gabriel kisses Thomas' neck. Thomas is like, wow, this is so much better than I read about. Good for you, Thomas. And there's an open bar at the Anne Rice ball.

So everything's coming up. Thomas and Lydia. Okay. All right. That's a blessing and a curse. Let's everybody be careful. Gabriel drives them home. They invite him up for a nightcap,

and literally no one in the history of the world has ever had just a nightcap. So I'm sure we cannot guess what happens next. You all can use your imaginations. This is not that kind of podcast. They do exist, so go find them, but this is not it. If you do end up using your imagination a lot, just write it down.

You can go on archive of our own, and then we'll go, we'll read it so that we can, yeah. Please write fan fiction about normal gossip. Not about me, but about the characters in the show. We can come back. We can do a staged reading. I can wear a blonde wig. We'll take your theater background.

I'll be there. What would you expect the morning after a night like this to be like? If I were writing this, like as a story and not as a recounting of actual events that happen, you would wake up in the next morning and Gabriel would finally admit to being like, Tom Sullivan, you know? Like the next morning, he's a normal guy, and he's like, So you guys gonna, you want to get bagels or? You like cream cheese?

You guys like, you want to get coffee or are you tea people? Like the spell has been broken. You know, you spent two weeks of lurid emails. You know, like where do you go after that if, you know, if you've already done it? Like, there's got to be a baseline reset. That's, like, the funniest result, I think. What actually happened is, I bet he's pretty normal. My guess is that it's, like, exactly the kind of slightly awkward, but, like, not horrible, like, morning after.

Lydia and Thomas wake up just before noon the next day. And it doesn't take them wrong to realize that Gabriel is gone. Oh, of course he is. I should have known. For a hot minute, Thomas is like, did last night really happen? But he and Lydia are both covered in bite marks. And there's a white handkerchief on their nightstand

that certainly does not belong to either one of them. Lydia's like, oh, my God. The sunlight is hurting my eyes. She's not hung over. She's a vampire now. Thomas is like... Babe, I'm pretty sure you're just hungover. But Lydia is not to be deterred.

She runs to check her reflection in the bathroom mirror, and she's like, oh my God, you can barely see me. My reflection, it's fading, except the bathroom light isn't on. And once Thomas turns it on, it is immediately clear that Lydia's reflection is unchanged. Thomas is like, don't you think we should talk about what last night means for our relationship? And Lydia says, don't worry about that.

We have centuries to talk about that. Lydia. We are almost at the end of our story. In an ideal world, how at this end? In an ideal world, how at this end? Nobody regrets what they did. And Lydia and Thomas figure out that this is a thing that both of them are into. They both enjoy this sort of thing.

And they are in a community of people who can, provide that for them and they both find great jobs. And they both get health care in the 1990s in the United States somehow. And, you know, like Gabriel continues to be a figure sort of on the periphery of their lives. He opened that proverbial door. And yeah, does not represent any amount of regret or shame. That's a great ending. This is normal gossip, though. Yeah, so I imagine. So later that day, Lydia sends a breathless email to Gabriel. Like, last night was a dream. We hope it's the first of many.

Is this the beginning of our eternal night? Meanwhile, Thomas is like, can you ask him, like, what are we? Could we put a label on this, like, as soon as possible? I need to know. I need to hear myself. They receive a reply within 10 minutes, which, again, not abnormal. for Gabriel, and the email certainly sounds like Gabriel. It is unnecessarily long and flowery.

But as Thomas and Lydia read the email, they quickly realize that it's from someone alleging to be Gabriel's wife. Beth, who informs them that Gabriel's real name is Ron. That's almost the opposite of Gabriel. I mean, we knew the whole time. Right? There's no way this guy's name was actually Gabriel. Beth is like, Ron and I have an agreement.

He can go to the city and do whatever he wants, because apparently Ron doesn't even live in New Orleans. He and Beth live in a suburb of New Orleans called Metery. So Beth is like, we have an agreement. I don't care what or who he does in New Orleans. But what I didn't know about is all this vampire shit. Beth is like, whatever you're involved in is unnatural. What God-fearing man owns this much velvet? I don't know what satanic nonsense you're involved in,

but I suggest you find the Lord, as Ron will be doing going forward. Right, because this was like, I mean, depending upon when in the 90s, this would have been maybe smack dab in the middle of one of the satanic panics. Fascinating. Open marriage-ish, maybe, it sounds like.

But the other stuff, affront to the Lord. Exactly. You can fuck who you want, but not wearing a cake. Yeah. As soon as you stand under a downlight, it's over. It's done. It's no more.

You're cut off. You look at one piece of leather, and I swear to God. So I do have some final updates for you, but before I get to them, I want to ask, do you believe this email is actually from Gabriel's wife? Or is this possibly some ruse? Like, could it be him being like, here's how I get out of any level of commitment. Yeah.

My impulse is to say that that is not the case because he is a fixture in this community, from what I understand. And if he understands that these people are also present and around, and especially if they are friends with Marcus and Michelle, right, who are around, then there would be reason for him to believe that he's, like, going to see them around a lot if he's not going to completely, like, cut himself out and be gone now. He's going to give up his, what was he like a... cemetery tour guide.

Yes. If this represents a total shift in his lifestyle, like maybe it's him. But it would be strange to send this if you think it's likely that you will run into them perhaps over and over again. It's true. So I'm going to say it'd be likely, possible, that Beth is real. Well, do you share this email from Beth with the rest of the Anne Rice community who have been watching Gabriel for years now?

Are you kidding me? Absolutely. Absolutely. I am printing it out on my dot matrix printer. And I am bringing it to Louise. And I am saying, hey, what do you guys know about this, sis? Well, Thomas and Lydia decide not to share it with them because they decide if it's real, they kind of feel bad for Ron slash Gabriel.

And going to the Anne Rice ball with Gabriel had gotten them so much street credit in the Anne Rice community that Thomas and Lydia, they don't want to give that up. So they're like, we'll keep your secret, Ron, Gabriel, whoever you are. The next time Thomas and Lydia see Marcus and Michelle, they just say they've been sworn to secrecy and that it's a night they'll never forget, which isn't wrong. It's a very vampire thing to say, yeah. to live in their memories forever. Thomas and Lydia do eventually break up. It is an amicable split. It has nothing to do with Gabriel,

but they both end up leaving New Orleans. They're still friendly enough, though, that when Thomas goes back to New Orleans in 2005 to help out after Katrina, he sends an email to Lydia, and he tells her that he went back to Louise, which had miraculously survived. And that at the end of the night,

out of the corner of his eye, Thomas could have sworn he saw a beautiful man, with piercing green eyes who didn't look he had aged a day in the past seven years. But when Thomas turns back around, the man is gone. And that's the universe story. Do you believe in vampires any more than you did before we started? I believe in precisely one vampire now,

and his name is Ron, and he works as a mechanic on the outskirts of New Orleans. Yes. that ruled that was great i i still don't like gabriel but i am supportive of his existence i support your lifestyle choices gabriel yes yes thank you for listening to normal gossip if you have a gossip story to share with us email us at normal gossip or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 Gossip. If you love this podcast, want to support us, become a friend or a friend of a friend

at support normalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at NormalGossip. You can follow me on social media at Hey Dene, H-E-Y-Y-D-N-A-E. This podcast was produced by Sierra Spragly Ricks and Jay Tolviera. Our audio engineer is Samantha Gatsik, the co-creators and Dowager Queens of Normal Gossip are Kelsey McKinney and Defector's supervising producer Alex Sujohn Loughlin. Justin Ellis is Defector's Projects Editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Coon are Defector's business guides.

Tom Leigh is our editor-in-chief. Dan McQuaid runs our merch store, which you can find at NormalGossip. Dot Store. Tara Jacoby designed our show art. Thank you to Brandy Jensen, David Raw, Catherine Shue, Serena Imbler, Chris Thompson, Dave McKenna, Patrick Redford, and Ray Rotto for your help on this season. Thank you to the rest of the Defector. staff. DeFector Media is a collectively owned subscriber-based media company. Normal Gossip is a

proud member of Radiotopia. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and remember, you didn't hear this for me. Radioopia, from PRX.