Normal Gossip - Every Peach is a Miracle with Samin Nosrat

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

We are back for season 4! Samin Nosrat (author of Salt Fat Acid Heat and host of Home Cooking) joins us for a tale about fruit, #vanlife, and forbidden love. This is the first of ten episodes this season, which will release every Wednesday for the next nine weeks! Follow Samin on IG @ciaosamin. You can support Normal Gossip directly by buying merch or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend at supportnormalgossip.com. Our merch shop is run by Dan McQuade. You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page: https://normalgossip.komi.io/ Episode transcript here. Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney (@mckinneykelsey) and produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs). Diana Moskovitz is our story editor. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Jae Towle Vieira is our production assistant. Show art by Tara Jacoby. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. Credits recorded by Marielle Cabe.

Hey, quick favor. We are conducting an audience survey. We'd be really grateful if you could take just a few minutes and answer it. Please visit survey.prx.org slash gossip to take the survey today. That's survey.prx.org slash gossip. Thank you. Hi, and welcome back to Normal Gossip. This is the season four premiere, and we are so excited to be back with a brand new partner, Radio Topia, who we're very excited about. We talked to a whole bunch of business in the episode we released in February. So if you want to know more about that, you can listen. This season will be 10 episodes long, one zero, 10, one a week, all out on Wednesdays. So this is the beginning of your 10 week journey into normal and also into gossip.

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Welcome to normal gossip. In each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Today, I am freaking out. I am so excited to have with me Samine Nosrat. Samine is a cook, teacher, and author of the James Beard award-winning and number one New York Times bestseller, Salt Fat Acid Heat, a book that I personally love. She is also the co-host of the Home Cooking podcast, a former Eat columnist at the New York Times Magazine, and the host of the Netflix original documentary series based on her book. Samine, welcome. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here on my favorite. I'm so excited that you're here. You are already giggling, which I think is a great vibe for us going forward. I've just been

giggling for weeks ever since I knew this was going to happen. Why are you so excited to be here? Tell me. Well, I mean, first of all, I just love listening to these stories. They just make me so happy. I just think about them every once in a while. I'll be like, or good guy. You know, I mean, I just love thinking about people behaving badly, which is what it just always is, basically. And yeah, you're just like, oh, human nature. We have some real bad behavior for you today. So do you want to start off with the classic first question and tell me what your relationship to gossip is like? Oh, yes. I definitely, I think I have kind of extra demented relationship to gossip. It'll really reveal my broken psychology, which is- We endorse

that. My family is from Iran, and we, in our culture, and I know there are other cultures that have sort of similar, very intense cultural forms of etiquette and ideas about the way things should be and the idea of that appearances are very important that are sort of taught to children. And in my family and in our culture, these things were really of the utmost importance. And so, there was a lot of like, what's appropriate, what's appropriate to ask, and you must respect everybody's privacy, and you must be a proper young girl and all these kinds of things. And so, like, my mom was like, you can never ask anyone's age, and you can never talk about weight, and you can never do this, and you must always be so proper. And so, I really internalized all that kind of

stuff. And yes, as a kid, and much to my own detriment that I have now spent many, many years of humanity and therapy trying to undo, because it's really been very, very harmful to my own sort of self-conception, and just like, what it means to be a whole happy human. And I'm also like a deeply curious person. So, a lot of it is like, just don't ask stuff. So, then I end up being like, well, I have to go around. So, I end up actually like, into people who I deeply love, and I'm close to in my own life, I have found this pattern where I actually gossip about them, instead of just like, going to their face and asking them things about their own emotional life, or their interiority, or their relationship, or things that like, in the Western world,

are totally appropriate to ask your friends and people you're close to, to the point where my friends are like, what kind of narcissist are you? You never asked me how I'm doing. You never asked me about my family. And you're like, but I asked all of our mutual friends. Yeah, totally. And I'm like, no, I actually really care. I just, this thing, this training is so deep in me that I have to go around. To make sure I'm understanding that that kind of the ethics that you were brought up under don't change based on who you're talking to. So, when you're talking to someone who like, grew up in California and is white, you're still like, I can't ask you if you're having an emotional breakdown. I must ask our mutual friends. Totally. And then like, I do

this kind of really messed up thing where I am very emotionally open. So what I think I'm doing is I'm like, emotionally vomiting. And so I'm like, oh, I'm modeling to you openness. And hence, I'm like, that's an invitation to you to do the same. And some people then do, but others need to be asked. And I just have a really hard time doing the asking. And it's been like, now I have, you know, I'm now 43, I have a lot of friends who have told me, you need to ask me. And so now I am getting better at practicing. And I do do the asking and get over that lump of discomfort. But like, I've, I've like, specifically apologized to people I deeply love and care for who by saying like, just so you know, like, I found out these things about you because I went to our third friend.

I think this is so interesting, though, because like something I've been thinking a lot about is how, you know, pendulum swing. And when we started this podcast barely a year ago, it was like the vibe was kind of in the American culture that gossip was bad and gossip was a sin and like doing gossip was bad for you. And this pendulum is swinging really rapidly to the point where there are now people saying like gossip is an absolute moral good. And it's interesting, like, I don't agree with that, obviously, I think that gossip is like a neutral stance. And it's interesting to hear you say like gossip both helped you survive within one culture and then sabotaged your relationships in another. It's like the same skill can be both. Totally. And it's even still in

my own like my own nuclear family. It's really the only way like very basic information gets around is what I think would be called gossip because like still sort of like my mom, my own mom doesn't tell me stuff. And so then you have to ask someone else. Yeah, I have to get it from somebody else. And so it's really messed up. But that's part of why it's hard, right? Is that like, you can't completely break down that skill because you still need it to communicate with your own family, which is like complicated. It's really complicated. So it's so frustrating and so interesting. And also like, I will never not be in therapy. Yeah. So I think it's interesting that like you had this dynamic growing up and then you moved into a career that is like notoriously,

in my opinion, gossipy. Very. And I'm curious, like, did it serve you well there, this ability? Like how did it transition for you? I would say there have absolutely been some points at which it's actually been of serious and like incredibly important service to others. The fact that I am a gossip and am a person through whom information flows and often flows quite safely. For example, during the like sort of me to restaurant time, I was a person that like a group of about 35 women came to because I had one foot in the restaurant world and one foot in the journalism world. And they came to me to help them be connected to a journalist because they had stories and complaints about one particular chef. And so that's one example.

And then, you know, there's also like a 20 something year long career that continues where we are all also share all sorts of much less important and much less discriminating gossip. Right. I mean, that's I feel like I say this on almost every episode, but like it's we really just need like some more words because like you're right, right? Like to be a safe harbor for people's gossip that is like filled with pain and suffering and to help them transition that into something that can like provide relief or at least attention is a form of gossip. And then there is also the gossip that is like the line cook is angry because his girlfriend broke up with him be nice to him today, right? And like those are gossip. Okay, so something I'm curious about for you personally

is that you had kind of like, I would imagine rather stark shift in like popularity after self that acid heat came out and especially after the show came out. How has that changed your perception with gossip or like, oh, oh, interesting. I mean, in some ways, I would imagine that I am a subject. Well, I don't even have to assume I know that now that I am like a somewhat public person or something that then people speculate about me. Sure. And so I know it because sometimes those speculations arrive to my doorstep and so or to my ears. And I am a very emotionally porous person. So I have had to do my best to like put my head under the sand and protect myself from that happening as much as possible, which means like I basically

just try not to go on the internet. I don't really read comments. I don't really I just try to like avoid incoming things as much as possible. One time last year, I had a really sort of emotionally tumultuous year, my father who I was estranged from was in the hospital and then passed away in a really complicated way. And it just sort of turned Oh, thank you. And it turned my everything, my family sort of upside down. And just in my life, my life kind of came to a halt. And I started thinking a lot about my ancestry and various things about my grandparents. And I don't have anyone I can really ask a lot of these things from. So I had this momentary lapse of clarity. Oh, no. And I tried to figure something out about my family history

by googling it, which was a bad idea, because it totally slipped my mind that there's no reason for anything about my family history to be online because my family is not like a notable family. And I am the most notable person in my family. So when I went to Google my grandfather's name, you know, like Google started filling in the question and and what what it feel, even though I was typing in my grandfather's name, it filled it in with like, I can't remember, it was just like some mean, you know, and then and then it does like all of the suggested ones. It's like how tall. Yeah. And so and like, I know that a lot of people are curious about a lot of things about me. And like, there's just in general, all of the ones about celebrities or

notable people that are like, how much money do they have? Or like, right? Are they married? Or are they whatever? All the ones, right? But then the first one that popped up was Samin Nasrat weight loss. And I was like, I at the time, because I was so depressed and like, I mean, in the pandemic, I had been so depressed. And then also like, I had just had so much tumultuous like emotional tumultuous, like, I basically stopped eating, like I was not able to eat. Oh, my God. So I was like, oh, my God, I was like, you people, I was like, right? I was like, I was like, if I gain weight, you're mad at me. If I lose weight, you're mad, you want to know what and I was like, but I was just like, this is insane. And then

that like sent me down a whole rabbit hole. I was like, I don't want to know anything. So there's just kind of a, I mean, there's not that like some amount of delightful gossip I have access to because I know I'm public, but it's more that I have the discomfort of knowing that I'm the subject more than I was before of people talking about me. And I hate knowing that. And also like, yeah, I'm not like some narcissist, I definitely know where I stand in the order of things. I'm not some like, you know, I'm not that famous or anything. But it, I think I just have this sort of, for me, what's a little bit confusing and uncomfortable is I just never know when I'm going to be recognized or when it's going to happen versus when it's not going to happen.

So I always have to just assume that people will recognize me and I have to have my guard up in a certain way. And that's just a little bit uncomfortable. So I don't know if this answers your question, but it does. Yeah, it's something that I've, I mean, honestly, been thinking about a lot as the podcast like grows in popularity is the kind of like dynamic that happens when people create parasocial relationships with people that they don't actually know. And then feel as if they know them. Yes. And like, I'm very familiar. Yeah, I know you are. And like, that is, that's part of this, right? Is that like, it's easy to feel as if you're gossiping about your friend. When you're like, well, I listened to Simeon's podcast and I read her book and I feel

like I know her and therefore I want to know what's going on with her. And there's a kind of like, uncomfortable line there between like, gossip and privacy invasion that is like, muddy. And I don't really, I don't really know what to do with it or think about it. So I'd like Simeon, do you know? I don't, I wish I knew. I mean, it's complicated too, because then I also have that with other people whose things I enjoy. Exactly. And so then I, but also I, I just have my own deep discomfort and confusion on this end of it. And like, there's not really a map. There's not really, you know, like, it's I think a new phenomenon in the world relatively. And like, it's just there's not anyone who I know who I can turn to for advice in my world. And so I just

feel in a lot, a lot of the time, I feel really alone. And also you feel really weird and ungrateful complaining about it. But yeah, then it's just a, it's a weird, it's a weird, weird thing. I don't know. It's weird. I also feel weird about it. I didn't mean to take us in this direction. We're just here now. No, it's a nice thing to, I mean, it's interesting because I, I know I'm not supposed to reveal this, but I do know we're talking about farmer's markets today. And the farmer's market is for me. Who told you? And, and the farmer's market is ground zero for the crazy I'd interact that parasocial. Oh, because it's like being able to recognize someone in an environment you would expect them to be in, right? Like, so people are like, I expect you to be in a farmer's market

and therefore I'm able to recognize you here. Okay. Exactly. And so what do you mean by ground zero? Well, it's like the, well, shall I take us into our farmer's market conversation? I mean, sure, whatever. Are you ready to go there? Go for it. Am I the host? Yeah, you're in charge now. Congrats. So, welcome to my podcast. This is normal gossip. I've your host. Okay. Um, the farmer's market, it's a weird and wonderful thing. I'm so glad it exists. It's a source to buy amazing produce. It supports farmers. It's the place you get to see your neighbors, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I have a grand unified theory about it. Okay, great.

I live in the Bay Area. I live in Oakland. I've spent a lot of time going to Bay Area farmer's markets, which I think in some ways are the like epitome of what one might think of as like the stereotypical sort of like, yeah, projecting your values, you know, carrying your reusable bag, you know, your organic, whatever. But in my experience, any Western farmer's market that I've been to, and by Western, I mean, in the Western country, like, honestly, any American, I'll say any United States farmer's market that I've been to, I've had this experience. It is not unique to the Bay Area. So it's something about farmer's markets. And I think they attract similarly oriented people. And it has to do with a few things. I think part of it is in modern society,

there are very few spaces that are temporary physical space, where everything is not like clearly demarcated. And so already that is going to be a problem. So like when you go to the grocery store, in contrast, the lanes are clearly marked, where the carts go is clearly marked, you know, where all the produce has signs and prices. And you sort of everything, everything is just very, very clear. And there's order. And so, you know, you know, 15 items or less, every, you know, pay with a check in this aisle only, whatever, all that kind of stuff is very, very clear. In a farmer's market, there's so much less clarity. Number one, number two, in our country, for reasons that are so complicated that I will not go into in this podcast, that

has to do with farm subsidies and politics and all this kind of stuff. Unfortunately, food and farmer's markets, which should be for everyone, is not. And so good food that comes directly from the earth is like now this like weird like projection of your values that is mostly for middle class and upper middle class people, although a lot of farmers markets do accept SNAP. It's not the most efficient like use of your money. So there's like a certain kind of person who is who it who ends up there. And they're very invested in what it's saying about them. Then there's a limit, a lot of limited resources. There's limited space. You know, the farmer's only bringing 12 precious baskets of the first strawberries. And you have to be

in competition. There's like, it's in a specific place where like it's really hard to park. So there's really high stakes on sort of artificially increased exactly in like all of these different levels. There's also like many different, although there's I think socioeconomically a relatively narrow type of person who goes there, I think many different people from many different walks of life are interacting at a farmer's market in a way that like doesn't necessarily happen on a day to day basis in life. And so that's a weird sort of opportunity for a lot of awkward interaction and potential conflict. And then there's just, you know, regular white person entitlement. And then where like, and because a lot of those people are a lot of people

who are from a farmer's market are white, there's just a lot of entitlement. And so there's just a lot of like very, very, very intense feelings. And also what feels artificially high like inflated stakes. And then they're like the actual infrastructure of what will keep things running smoothly is not there. And so then I think there's potential for a lot of conflict. And that is I think what then leads there to be conflict and people behaving badly. And all of the sort of like, yeah, just like, oh, you leave there almost every time you're like, with a bad taste in your mouth, or why did that person do that thing? Or God, they always come in front of me or like that. I think that you're really going to love and hate the story that I have for you today.

I cannot wait. You want to do a gossip? I'm so excited. Okay, so today we are going to the Great Plains, the middle of the country, huge big dome sky, yellow wheat in the fields, right? Like summer harsh UV light, right? Like put your sunscreen on. But right now as our story starts, it is like dark dawn, right? Like little pink line on the horizon. Very early morning. Okay. Our friend of a friend, we're going to call her Cara. Cara is awake. Okay. She's doing her makeup. She's sitting on the floor in front of her little mirror. She's putting her makeup on. Okay. She's listening to a podcast. She's like curling pieces of her hair so that they look perfect. Wow. And she can hear her roommate Madison downstairs yelling at her,

like up the stairs to be like, you're running late. Get down here. Like stop. This early already? Okay. Already. Have you ever had like a roommate like this or been this roommate? Which one do you identify with? I'm the running late person, but without the makeup or the hair curling. My hair is already curly and I never wear makeup. So, okay, but I'm always late. I was demonstrated by the fact that I was 20 minutes late to the recording today. You don't need to know that. Okay. So Cara and Madison have another roommate, Ari, and the three of them are all in their like very early twenties and they live in like a small house. Okay. It's like wooden and it has like a little porch. I can see it in my mind though. Tell me, what do you see

in your mind? Well, it's the Great Plains. So it's just like a cute, it's like a cute house from the 1900s and the rent is low. It's like, yeah. There's shady trees in the summertime. There's a yard. Everything's flat as far as the eye can see. Exactly. And it's like one of those houses that would be worth a lot of money if it hadn't been like completely landlord-specialed over time to the point where like the outlets are just caked in paint, right? Because it's been a rental for so long. The layout of this house is important, so I will give it to you. It is like downstairs, kitchen, living room, main bedroom with an en suite bathroom. Wow. Okay. Okay. Upstairs, two bedrooms, and a shared bath. Okay. Got it.

Who lives downstairs? Thank you. Madison lives downstairs because Madison is the only one of the three of these girls who has like a big girl job with like a salary and vacation days. So she pays more rent to have like the bigger room with the en suite bathroom. And she's like very private, so she's like, I need to be on my own floor and like not share a bathroom because I have like, I want personal space. Not relatable to me, but I'm happy for her. Okay. Kara, who lives on the second floor and is the one getting ready, is a fiber artist. That is her like dream. She wants to build like fiber installations. Okay. Okay. And because of that, she has like a bunch of side jobs, right? Yes, because I would say fiber arts are beautiful, but I would say maybe not

the most like sustainable career. Financially sound. Yeah. Exactly. And she knows that, right? She's like got her little jobs, whatever. So Kara is like running late. She's being yelled at by Madison. She's like looking in the mirror and she's like, my hair still doesn't look right. Like this side is too curly. I don't like it. And so she decides she's like, I'm going to braid it. Like that's a solution that over. She's a fiber. She fiber arts her hair. She's a fiber artist. And because she's a fiber artist, she like weaves ribbons into the braid, right? So it is like looking beautiful and also like she spent five hours on it. And she looks in the mirror and she's like, it's too polished. And so she's like, what will I do here? I will add a dad hat. So she like adds her dad hat. She

throws her phone into her overalls and she's like scampering out of the room to get downstairs. And still the sun hasn't come up. Still the sun is not up. And she comes like around the corner so that she can see down the stairs and she sees Madison at the bottom. And Madison is like, do not come down here without Ari. Oh, okay. And she's like, she's like, Ari's not up yet. And Madison's like, no, Ari is still asleep. Oh my God. So Madison like goes into Ari's room and Ari is, you know, infinitely younger. Madison and Kara are 24. Ari is 22. Oh, which in in the 20s, that's like a thousand years. Exactly. She's like in her last semester of college, they're basically her mother. And so she goes in there and is like, Ari, wake up, like we have to go, what are you doing?

And Ari like flips on the light. She's like wearing a hoodie, right? Like already in the bed. And Kara is like, you need to study, like you said you were going to study today. You told us to wake you up, get out of bed. And Ari's like, why would I get up when you weren't even ready? Like, I'm ready now. I just was sleeping until you were done. Oh, wow. She's like, all right. Being called out. Okay, I like it. Yeah, I know. So they get downstairs and Madison is like, oh my God, to Kara. She's like, are you late because you were drawing on the freckles on your face? Like, are those fake freckles? And Kara's like, Kara's like, yeah, they're fake freckles. Like, what do you want for me? I think I love Kara. Madison has made them all like coffees because she is like

a type A girlie. So they'll get their little coffees and they get into the car. They like playing their music. They drop Ari off at a coffee shop so that she can study. And they're like, we'll see you in a few hours. And Ari's like, say hi to Brad for me. And they're like, we will not be doing that. I'm just, I'm like, where are we going? Okay, okay. Where are we going? You know where we're going. They drive across the town. The sun is like just starting to come up. And they're like looking at the clock and they're like, we're late. They are always late. Like, they're late every week. They're like, oh, we're late. They pull into this big parking lot. You know, it's like big and open, but not a ton of spots. And there are like awnings where people

are beginning to set up like little stands. Why are they so early to the farmer's market? Why? Well, because they work there. Oh, they work there. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. They get there and they're like, okay, we need to find our stand that we work at, right? And so they like start walking through and they're like, where's Bradley's stand today to like the first person they see? And the first person they see is like, oh, he's in row C. Oh, and they're like, oh, shit. You go to a lot of farmers markets. What do you know about farmers markets stand placement? Location is everything. Why? Unless you're a truly obsessive person like me, who either completely knows the layout of your market knows every single farm knows, you know, like, which farm has what and where you want to go

for which thing and like this person has this radicchio, that person has that bunch of carrots and in February, their, you know, carrots are sweeter and in March, their spinach is whatever. A lot of times you just buy the first thing you see. And so the farms that are farther away are going to have way fewer sales. So you definitely want to have the bigger, more beautiful display. You want to be farther up in the front. Yeah, you definitely do not want to be in the back. Right. So row C sounds like it's third. And that's exactly not so good. It's third of three. Oh, yeah, which is like not what you want. And if this farmer's market, the spots are first come first serve. Oh, yeah, exactly. So the fact that our girls are late has played a part in this stand being in

row C, which they know. The other thing about row C, it is the furthest one from the parking lot. And you are right, like you have to work your way there, which not everyone is going to do. But because it's like furthest away, it also has like stands that sell like soy candles. Oh, right. So you're even if you want to produce, you're like trapped in with all the crafters. Exactly. And there's like a stand that sells like, you know, local gin, right? But the real problem is that there is one stand in row C that these girls hate. And it is the vegan Jamaican stand that plays extra music all the time. Oh, yeah. If you get stuck near the music. Oh, yeah. It's like, it's seven a.m. Yeah, right. Like nobody wants this like loud music,

just like wait until later. They're not waiting. Okay. So our girls hustle over there and they find Bradley, who is like the owner of their stand. And they're like, good morning, Bradley. And Bradley like sighs like his puppy has been kicked. And it's like, you're late. Because you're late, we're stuck in row C, and we don't have enough tokens. I don't know why Bradley's, but why is Bradley blaming them? Because also Bradley was a great point. Were they supposed to get there before Bradley? Unclear to me. All I know is that Bradley is mad. My guess, what I would guess is that probably it's because like he didn't have enough hands to get things out fast enough to like grab a space, right? Okay. And Bradley has like the opinion that you have

already stated, which is that like customers do not have loyalty for specific vegetable farms. They're just going to the first stand they see with tomatoes and they're buying those. And he's like, now my stand is far away, so no one is going to come here. I kind of hate Bradley so far, but. Great. She's developing an enemy already. We love it. But I also, I'm not committed to this feeling. I just don't like that it's already so mad. But I also, I have to say in general, my sympathies are with the farmers. So maybe I hate the customers who are so flaky that they don't have like, they don't have any allegiances to their farms, no matter where they are. Yeah. Also, I don't know that I, yeah, like I don't know that I like

the system at this farmer's market of like, first-order serve. Yeah. It really like, I had never thought about the thing you said about there being no rules at the farmer's market, but like, it does make sense in this story that like, it's willy-nilly and that willy-nilliness is creating chaos, chaos. So they show up and immediately they have like, tasks, right? Bradley is like, car, can you go do this? Madison, can you go like unload crates from the truck? And they're like, yeah, yeah, of course. So they're like doing their little jobs. The sun is like starting to come up. Customers are starting to arrive. It's going well because it is the best season to work at a farmer's market. It is peach season. So good. So good. Why is peach season so good? Oh, tell

the listeners in case they don't know. Oh, well, peach season is peach season. It's nectarine season. It's tomato season. It's just like, all of my favorite things are sort of hitting at the same time. You've been waiting all year for this moment of all these things that you dream of. And sometimes you sneakily buy out of season. They never taste that good. But then like, it's finally summer again, and they're so sweet and ripe and delicious. It's the best. It's so good. Yeah. Bradley asked them, he's like, because it's peach season, he's like, can you cut up a couple of these peaches, right? Like into slices, since we need to like entice people to shop at our stand, right? So like sample time. And so the girls are like, okay, yeah, yeah. So they're using

their little plastic knives and like cutting up these little samples of peaches and putting them on a paper plate. While they're doing this, they see like a figure approaching. It is still like very early. So the sun is very low and this person is like backlit and silhouetted until they get like very close. And finally they hear them be like, oh, can I try some of those? Yes, of course. Just use a toothpick. We need to be hygienic. This person is Jordan. Okay. Jordan is Kara's ex. Oh, Jordan, you cannot have a peach get out of here. Kara and Jordan broke up like six ish months ago. So not like super recently. And technically, Kara broke up with Jordan. Okay. Jordan like steps forward. They have short hair and are very tan.

Okay. Their sleeves are like rolled up revealing like a little bit of a farmer's tan and like the kind of muscle definition that somehow only rock climbers have. Okay. They have like a full sleeve of like full color American traditional fruit tattoos. And they're wearing one of those like baseball caps. But the ones that don't have a bill for some reason. Oh, do you know what I'm talking about? Just a billless hat? Yeah, it's like a beanie, but for summer. Weird. Okay. You would not like it. No, I don't think so. They have eyelashes that are so long that they could be like a Maybelline model. Okay. And Jordan is like, your sand always has the best peaches. Oh, Jordan seems like a troublemaker. Are you familiar with the concept of like farmer's market hotties? Yes, absolutely 100%.

Can you tell me what you know about them? In my experience as the shopper, the farmer's market hottie is often the person who works at the farmer's market, and that you are very excited to go shop from. And so they're often a younger person who either works at the farm and comes with the produce or is just like works in town and is hired by the farmer's market to like, you know, work at the stand. And, you know, I've been going to farmer's markets now like since, yeah, late late 90s or whatever. And so there have been like the eras of the specific people. And we have different names like my friends and I have different names for there was one person we had his name was kind face. Okay. Yeah, there was kind face.

Who I still see. I still see around all the time. Yeah, I'm actually at the farmer's market or just like no just in socially like I'm actually friends with kind face now. I can't tell you the actual name but yeah, don't but I love that as a like moniker for a familiar stranger. That's a really nice one. Kind face was a good one. There's like a kind face. It's so gentle. There was like and then you have all these fan like fantasy stories about the person. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Because you see them on Saturday that you have all day. Yeah, to make up the story. Totally. There's and there's just you're like, do they go back to sometimes you like know something about them. Yeah, sometimes you might get to know their name. I have a friend who loves this like right now. I

mean, she's married and happily and has a child. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter but she like has a full like second life with the guy who sells the bread at our farmer's market. She's like, that's my farmer's market husband. 100% love. Yeah. It's good. You need those things in your life. Yeah, like keep sure little entertainment. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. So Madison, not Kara is like hi Jordan and Kara is like flustered. She has this tick where she like takes one piece of her hair and just touches it over and over again when she's nervous. But because her hair isn't a braid, she can't do that. So she's just like touching one of the ribbons in the braid like very awkwardly. There are like heat waves in the air of like horniness now that Jordan is here. Oh no.

And Kara is like, I'm going to cut you like a little special bite. Like I'll do it for you. Don't worry. Fresh. Wait, Kara is now back in the like everyone's just entangled in the Jordan pheromones. Exactly. And Jordan takes the peach and is like, thank you, Kara. Oh no. So Jordan has like the little snack of peach and then they're like, I'm going to touch all of these beaches to like see they're so soft and like look at the yellow like lighting. Look at the pink. Like why are you making that face? Because I'm well also, I don't like it when people touch every single fruit. Yeah. Sorry. While they're doing this, Bradley, the farmer comes over and he points at the handwritten sign that's above the pieces.

Says don't touch every single one, please. It says you squeeze it, you buy it. Oh, thank you. Do you like this side? Bradley, I love your side. So you think this is a fair side? Absolutely. Do you know how? Okay, first of all, let's just do a little fruit lesson, people. As a Jordan, as a person who has fruit tattooed on your body, one would think. Be more respectful. Yeah. One would think you might know what it takes to grow a fruit. Like let me just tell you all of the magic and coincidences that need to happen in order for that peach to get to the farmer's market, okay? Please tell me. I'm not even going to talk about like a whole bunch of other stuff, okay? So like the weather has to be right,

the rain has to be right. The like the squirrels and the bees and the like tree roots underneath the trees have to be talking to other tree roots just right so that the blossoms come up at just the right time, not too early, not too late. And then the blossoms blossom. And it's not too, it's not so cold that the blossoms freeze. It's not so hot that the blossoms burn. Yes. And also, there have to be enough bees around so that the blossoms, in during the time that they're open, the short time that they're open, the bees come and, pollinate. Thank you. I'm like, no, it's falling. The bees have an opportunity, I don't know if you know this, but the bees are all like disappearing, right? So that the bees have an opportunity to

come pollinate the blossoms. And then once the blossoms are pollinated, if it's too windy or rainy and they blow off before they start to set fruit, that then you don't get a fruit. So then, then it has to start setting fruit. Then if also the tree hasn't been properly pruned, there's like going to be too much fruit. And then your peach won't get big enough. Then like a million different things have to be just right. And then like imagine that fruit gets perfectly ripe, but then a squirrel comes and eats it, or a bird comes and eats it, which happens all the time. So farmers have to have all of these like bird deterrents. So then they pick it on the day it's like perfectly ripe and bring it to the farmer's market. And then Jordan comes and squeezes it.

And because also what's happening, so apricots are the only stone fruit that ripen from the inside out. So peaches ripen from the outside in. The other thing that's kind of remarkable about this is that when this fruit is ripening, the sugars are transforming in there, right? And that's why like the, you know, you know, like in a ripe or like a, it's really obvious in a banana, like they get the brown spots, right? But like that's happens in all fruits. And like when it's gets overripe, it has those like too much of the brown spots. And so then like, in a peach, the best way to ripen a peach is to like every day, gently turn it. Because what happens is like all of those, if you don't turn it to go down, it just goes down. And then basically, you have

like a spot where like all the sugar has gone down. And no sugar. And they're, yeah, exactly. It's like uneven sugar distribution. So it's basically a miracle that we have. It's a miracle to get a perfect farmer's peach. Do you know what I mean? And so this person coming and squeezing it is creating like an uneven spot where like sugar is going to be more likely to go. And then you're going to come pay like whatever, $4 a pound or six, whatever, like crazy farmers market price, which those farmers deserve because they have like done 99 miracles to get that thing there. And then you're going to take it home and you're going to be like, wait a minute, why is there like somebody's nine fingerprints on my peach? It was because Jordan, the farmers

market hottie, came and touched 22 peaches. So yes, Brad is allowed to have their sign there. Okay. Bradley freaks out at Jordan for touching these and is like, get out of my stand. And you tell Dale that I know what he's doing. With Dale, a competitor who sent Jordan as a spy. Well, Jordan works for Dale. Oh, no. And Dale has another vegetable stand. And Bradley turns to the girls and he's like, he is not allowed in here. And the girls are like, they, and Bradley is like, they are not allowed in here. Jordan is a sleeper agent. They are sent by Dale to sabotage my products. I believe they are not allowed in here. Do you understand? You, you believe I believe it. The girls are like, okay, Bradley, because they don't believe him because they think that Jordan

is there to flirt with them, right? So they're like, Jordan is not here to sabotage your peaches. Jordan is here to like make eyes at us, right? When Bradley leaves, Madison turns to Kara and is like, well, this does kind of solve our problem in that you don't have to see Jordan anymore. Like, now they're banished from our tent. And Kara's like, why wouldn't I want to see Jordan? And Madison's like, you broke up with them. Yeah, you've seemed like nervous and weird when they were here. And Kara's like, no, I love Jordan. Wait, what? And Madison's like, you love love them or like, you love the idea of them and don't mind seeing them. And Kara's like, you know, in between, I'm just like really starting to reconsider my opinion of the van. What? Kara broke up with Jordan

because of the van. What's the van? The van is Jordan's passion. The van is not actually a van, it's actually a school bus. Okay. But Kara calls it a van. And she hates it. The van is where like Jordan lives, Jordan renovates the van, right? Jordan is like van life. Oh, no. And Kara hates this because she's like, the bus is really plasticky. It smells like old crayons that got too hot. Like there's no ventilation in there. So like any food smell that comes in stays in. She's like, I do not regret in her mind. She's like, I don't regret breaking up with Jordan because of this van. Like that was the right thing to do. But like every time she sees Jordan, she's reminded that like she's still single and Jordan has dated basically every hot person that

exists in this town. Oh my gosh. And plus Jordan and the van slash school bus are doing extremely well on Instagram. Oh. So Madison is like, are you reconsidering breaking up with them? And Kara is like, no, no, no, no, no. It was irreconcilable van differences. Like they want to sleep in a van and not shower. Oh my gosh. And I do not want to sleep in a van or date someone who sleeps in a van. Oh my gosh. Do you think it's reasonable to not want to date someone because they live in a van? Yes. Even if they're a farmer's market hottie? Yes. But maybe that's just my age showing. I don't like it. No, I agree with you. I think it's smelly to live in the van. I'm sure it's fine for some people, but I think it's reasonable to

break up with someone because they live in a van. I don't like that. And Kara is like the other annoying thing here is that Madison is always trying to get information out of other people because she doesn't tell anyone anything. Oh. So Kara is like, I see what you're doing. Like you're trying to get me to talk about this so that like you don't have to answer any questions. And Bradley is like girls separate. Like you are go sell some vegetables. Yeah. Do you think this conversation about Jordan is over? Absolutely not. No. Yeah, of course not. When Ari shows up to work the second shift at like 10 a.m. she's done with her essay. Madison is immediately like, guess who came over? Oh my god.

I wish I wish listeners could just see the amazing shoulder. I don't even know how do you how do you describe this like her little Koi. Yeah. And it's like Koi shoulder move that Kelsey just did. Like you truly embodied Kara. Thank you. Ari is furious. Ari is like, why is Jordan always coming over here when I'm not here? I have never gotten to meet them. You are always talking about what a hottie they are. Wait, she still has not met Jordan? Yes, because she's like always at school because she's 21. Okay. So Ari's like, this isn't fair. I never get to meet them. Are they going to come back? And Madison is like, Bradley ran them away. They're forbidden from coming back.

Kara is like, yeah, because of Dale. And Ari is like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. I did see that Dale got the like best spot today. Oh, wait, so if Dale has the best spot, I don't know that maybe this theory of Bradley's doesn't make sense because like why would why if Dale has the best spot? Does it really? Why does he need a sabotage? It's questionable. I'm still anti peach touching though. Okay, good to know. Bradley overhearing this is like, yeah, Dale always gets the good spot and Dale's produce sucks and he's compensating with cheese. And now he has all these cheeses that are bad and he's just luring people to his stand with cheese. And Ari is like, do you two think that Dale is like actually sabotaging Bradley?

And Kara and Madison are like, no. So they all go home after their shift, flash forward to next week because like nothing important happens the week in between. Yeah, only farmers. Exactly, only farmers market. Same problem is happening leaving the house, right? Like, they're late, the coffee and the mugs is cold. This week, they're all working the same shift because Ari doesn't have a paper, they show up and the stand is like in row A. Oh, yes. So like they have done it. But it is right across from Dale. And so they're like, oh, oh my god. Okay, like buckle up. Here we go. Now we're going to have to face Jordan the whole time and Bradley is going to be like

giving side-eyed and Dale the whole time. Yes. Do you think this is going to go well? No, but it's going to be a really good part of the story. The thing that is the most stark when they arrive at the farmers market this morning is that Bradley has made new signs for every vegetable that they all say you squeeze it, you buy it now, like every vegetable. And he has printed out pamphlets. What do you imagine these pamphlets are like? Oh my god, what could the pamphlets possibly, do they rhyme? I have no idea. I want you to think like Chipotle bag, Dr. Bronner's soap labels, like zines. Oh my god, so much information of like all the things one could do with the vegetable? Yes, all the things one could do with the vegetables.

A lot of it is really helpful. It's like printed in not quite common things, but close. Okay, one of these like wild fonts. Would you like to hear what part of the first page of this pamphlet please? Obviously. Okay, here we go. Please do not maul the peaches. Do not maul any fruits or vegetables, but especially the peaches. Stay away from the stone fruit. I get so angry when I see someone squeezing a dozen peaches for no reason. They are assaulting the peaches, bruising them, groping them, and then leaving them for someone else to deal with. Usually those bruises appear later and then we cannot sell them or you get stuck with them. It's obscene. A truly right peach cannot be handled this way. Please help us protect the peaches from these attacks by

not squeezing them. Oh my god, it's like Bradley read my mind. You two are insane. We really are. How do you feel about these pamphlets? Honestly, I don't hate the pamphlets, but I don't hate the sentiment of the pamphlet, but if I saw the pamphlet at the farm, if I received the pamphlet, I would scoff and I would just be like, what is happening right now? I completely understand. I 100% empathize and also it's bananas. Yes. The girls are told that they need to put the pamphlets into the bags of everyone purchasing fruits and vegetables. I don't understand because if you already purchased the fruit, it's too late to tell someone to not squeeze the stuff. Yes. The girls are like, we don't want to do this. All morning, there's back and forth where Bradley's like,

don't forget to put the pamphlets in there. And the girls are like, okay. And then they don't. And then he comes over and is like, you need to put them in there. And they're like, okay. And then they don't. All of that is before Bradley locks eyes with Dale around noon. Dale doesn't even come over. He doesn't come into Bradley's tent. He just stands in the aisle between Bradley and Dale's tents. And Bradley flips out. He's like, get out of here. Stop looking at my stand. Go back to your little stand. Wow. I really want to know the backstory behind Dale and Bradley. Same. And Dale lobs back like, well, my stand is bigger than yours. And at least the peaches are ripe. Oh my God.

Bradley's like huffy all day, right? Because he's like, my enemy Dale has yelled at me. So by the time the girls are done there, like we've been dealing with this pamphlet nonsense all day. Bradley's been in a terrible mood. Like we're exhausted. And Kara is like, I'm exhausted, so I need a little treat. I want to go to Target. And Ari is like me too. I also want to go to Target. Who doesn't want to go to Target? Everybody does. Madison is like, I'm exhausted. Like I don't want to go to Target. I'm just like going to go home. They're like, sure. Okay, great. So Kara and Ari go on their little like Starbucks stroll around Target. They have like a nice time. They get home a couple of hours later. Madison's not there. Now Kara has a classic conundrum

that perhaps will be relatable to you. Alex and I call this hair math. Oh, it's when you're like I need to wash my hair because I'm sweaty from the farmers market. But also I like need to exercise and I know that I'm going to need to wash my hair again like in two days. So like what are the order? What's the order of operations? Yes, this is even more intense when you have curly hair. Because you never want to wash your hair. Because it's a whole ordeal. You have to do a whole method. It's like 99 products with 400 steps. Yes. So they like figured out they work out their math. They're like, okay, we went to the farmers market. Ari's like, I have a yoga video like that we can do so you can exercise now and then shower after. Perfect. Kara's like, great.

Perfect hair math solved. So while they're like doing their yoga video, they hear Madison return and they hear her like start the shower in her room. They don't like think anything of it until the class is over and Kara goes to take her like well-planned shower and there's no hot water. Oh, I have I'm jumping to conclusions in my head. Keep them in your head. This has happened before in this house that they've like run out of hot water. A whole week goes by mostly fine. But they're all like dreading Bradley's antics because they're like last week there was the pamphlets. We were all tired. Then we had this like weird roommate experience with the hot water like bad vibes for a weekend, right? So this week they're

like all ready on time because they're like we're worried that if they don't want to cause any more drama then they're not necessary. Yes. And when they arrive Bradley is like putting up poster board size signs. The sign is a contract basically and at the top of it it says in like big block letters by entering this stand you agree to the following code of conduct. Underneath there are all sorts of rules about touching the fruit and behavior and feelings. There are like six whole lines in a very small font about not ripping the husks off the core. Not removing okay. Wait I have a question besides Jordan who we were Bradley was convinced was sent as like this like devious chaos agent. Are there actual

customers who are causing problems or is this just like all in Bradley's head? It is like both ant, right? Like it is that he is blowing the like Jordan thing out of proportion and that like the customers are kind of shitting, right? Like people are coming in touching all sorts of things and then refusing to buy corn because it's been opened already and like you know that whole kind of like I think common farmers market like entitlement. I kind of get it Bradley. I kind of get it. But also you're going full like fascism over here. Yes. And at the bottom of the contract poster it says that Bradley has the right to remove people from the tent. Oh like physically. And Madison and Cara and Ari are like does he though?

Like does he have the right to do that because it doesn't seem that like he does. So Madison and Cara are like we are non-confrontational and scared. Maybe work the register and Bradley is like yes. And Ari is like this is not fair. I'm also non-confrontational and scared and they're like well too bad we have the two registers. So Ari is like restocking the corn trying to like get up the gumption to keep people from like opening it. When here comes Jordan. Jordan appears out of the air and is like I love Bradley's corn. It's so good. And Ari is like yeah it is really good. And then Jordan begins peeling open a corn. No. No. Do you stop that? Yes. You do. Yes. You're like Jordan stop. Yes.

Ari does not. Ari is just gabbing with Jordan. Oh no Ari. And while she's gabbing with them she's like Jordan seems clean. Like showered. Like showered. She's like Cara and Madison have always said that Jordan is not clean. That Jordan lives in this weird short bus and like is smelly. She's like they said that this is a pivotal part of their personality. Yes. But now they seem like maybe six to seven days ago they took a shower. Yes. And Ari is looking at Jordan and is like their hair is just so fluffy. And like they have to have showered recently. Right. Like there's no way. And then Ari arrives at the conclusion you have already arrived on where she's like wait a fucking second. Jordan is clean. We were out of hot water. Madison was like being

shady. Hundred percent. What do you do with this information? Like you don't really technically know anything. I think you have to go to Madison. You know a lot. You have to go to Madison. I don't think you can go to Jordan because that's not your. What are you going to do really. Did you shower in my house. That's not weird. I think you have to go to the person you live with. Listen I was told that you're very smelly. Yeah. You look clean. Ari is like trying to think really quick. Right. She's like how can I tell them that I know or try to figure this out. Like what do I do. While Ari is thinking about this Bradley spots Jordan and freaks out and like drags Jordan out by their elbow and like blows up. Oh my gosh. It's like you can't be here. You're working for Dale.

You're sabotaging this. Oh my gosh. Like leaves Jordan out of the like little hallway of the farmer's market and turns to Ari and it's like not only did you let Jordan in here. You let them open the door. Oh my gosh. Like a key rule and Ari is like all of this drama has happened. Kara and Madison are like still just working at the cash register. Like they are oblivious to this because they've been busy. So Ari sees an opportunity and she's like perfect. I will tell them about this whole sequence of events and I will watch their faces for any sign of change or recognition. So she tells them but neither of them like responds at all. Okay. Ari's like okay. I could talk to Madison but I like still don't really have enough information besides like

Jordan looked clean and we ran out of hot water which has happened before. Yeah I guess it's not like conclusive. But that night Ari has no hot water for her shower. Uh oh. And neither does Kara. Uh oh. And then on Wednesday there's no hot water again. So Ari is like Kara what do we do about this? Kara doesn't know that Jordan is there and Kara is like I'm going to talk to Madison about it. Madison is like the adult among us. Okay. Okay. So Kara goes down and is like Madison we never have any hot water. What are we going to do about this? And Madison is like I will send an email to the landlord. So Madison like sends the email to the landlord that's like we never have any hot water. Obviously this is going nowhere. The landlord

is not going to leave them. Thursday no hot water. What do you think Ari should do? I still think the only thing Ari can do is it has to go directly to Madison and say something. Yeah at this point there's nothing else left right. So Ari goes to Madison and is like knock knock and Madison is like sure come in. She comes in and she's like we need to talk about what's happening here. And Madison is like what's happening where? And Ari is like here with there being no hot water. And Madison is like yeah I emailed the landlord like I don't really know what else there is for me to do. And Ari is like yeah but it seems like someone else is also showering here and taking very long showers. And Madison is like yeah so.

Admitting. And Ari is like are you dating Jordan? And Madison is like I'm not dating Jordan. Oh are you letting Jordan shower here? Ari is like is Jordan showering at our house? And Madison is like those are just showers they don't make us exclusive. And Ari is like that is not the point. I don't care if you're exclusive with Jordan you're letting Jordan shower at our house you have to tell Kara. And Madison is like why? It's my business. It's not our business for no other reason because nobody else has any hot water. Yes Ari is like you literally make it other people's business when all of the hot water in this house is gone. Like you have made this everyone's business. She's like and Kara is gonna figure out that they're here eventually.

So like you can tell her or I will. And Madison is like fine I'll tell her soon. Okay it's Saturday again. Oh my gosh I'm so stressed out. Between Bradley and the water this is just way too much. As things have been rapidly escalating all of our girls are up yet again on time and like ready to go because they're like nobody wants to be the problem that sets Bradley off right? Also like can't they just quit and go get another job? Like I don't understand why this is everyone's continuing to work in this like. They're 23. Like go work at Starbucks or something. Also I do think that like this is not explicit in our story but I do think there's something to be said for these girls having the power of being

farmers market hotties right and not being useful for them. Yes agree. To be like oh I'm at the farmers market just flirting all day and if I have to deal with Bradley that's the price that I pay for that. That's fine. Okay it's Saturday morning. Kara is up on time. Ari's up on time. They're standing in the kitchen they're like where's Madison? It's so weird that Madison is the one running late. Madison is never running late. Kara is like it sounds like she's like still in the shower. Oh no. And Ari feels like a pit drop into her stomach and she's like I don't think we really need to worry about that. Let's just like go get in the car and not not worry about it. And as she's saying that Madison comes in the front door to the house because she has been in

the front doing god knows what putting something in the car or something. Uh oh. And Madison is like oh good we're all up we can go. And Kara is like did you just leave your shower running? Is that why we never have hot water? Ari is like frantically looking back and forth between them. Madison is like no that's insane. Why would I leave my shower on? And Kara is like I can literally hear the shower on. Like why is the water on? And Madison is like oh someone's in there. And Kara is like who? Oh my god do you have a date? Because famously Madison is very private. And Madison is like I want to talk to you about this but can we talk about it later? Like I really don't want us to be late. Bradley is good like losing it. Let's go. And Kara is like oh yeah sure. And right as she

said sure the door to Madison's bedroom opens and out walks Jordan in the towel. Audio medium. My oh my god I. How come the timing is so melodramatic? I don't know. Also how dare Jordan? I mean Jordan knows Saturday is a high stress time in this household. Yes And Jordan also doesn't Jordan have to hurry up and get to the farmers market? Like what the heck? How come Jordan is so insensitive? Also maybe Jordan is just trying to get back at Kara for dumping them. Wow. Maybe. That's a good theory. Ari internally is like I knew it. I knew they were here. Like here is the proof I wanted right? Like I did it. And Kara just goes oh my god you have

got to be kidding me. And Madison is like we literally cannot do this right now. It's 545 we have to go. And Kara is like fine we'll deal with it afterward. Oh my god good for you Kara. They are silent in the car to the farmers market. Silent getting out of the car. Silent unloading the produce and like getting things set up. Oh man. It isn't until like they're about to open that Kara turns to Madison and is like you could have told me. Wow. And Madison is like I didn't think you'd care. And Kara is like I don't care. Oh my god being 24 like being a 24. I mean it's funny because these are not like the kinds of things that I necessarily I don't know had conflict about with my friends but like just the petty knit like the like

the 24-ness of it. It's amazing. There is no amount of money you could need to do this again. Madison is like if you don't care why are we having this conversation? And Kara is like come on. And Madison is like wait is it that like you still have feelings for them because like I really thought you didn't and like if that's the deal like I will cut it off immediately. And Kara is like no that's not the deal. That's not the problem here. I for one do not want to be partied to supporting their van life. That is literally the reason I broke up with them. And Madison is like you're being a little extreme and Kara is like they're literally using all of our hot water. It's true. It's true. It's so bananas. Jordan is so manipulative.

At this point Jordan who has seen them riffing comes over and Jordan is like don't fight like I don't want to come between y'all and they're like you aren't. This is not about you. Jordan is truly evil. There's a problem here. Jordan is inside the tent. Oh Jordan is about to get lifted under the armpits. Yes. And Bradley clocks this having overheard this whole back and forth between Kara and Madison and is like wait this is the person that caused all this drama between the two of you? And Kara and Madison are like silent nodding like mm-hmm yes. And Bradley is like first you maul the peaches. Second you open up the corn. Third you have created chaos amongst my employees. Three strikes you're out. He like drags Jordan out into the like hallway of

the farmers market and is like Dale. And Dale comes out and he's like Dale you did this. You sowed chaos amongst my employees. Do not send your spies over to my tent. Or my employees home. Yeah and Dale's like what spies? And Bradley's like your spies more motioning to Jordan. And Dale's like I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my gosh Dale's like I've never met that person. And Bradley's like you sowed chaos amongst my employees like you sow your mealy tomatoes. And Dale is like no I didn't. And then Bradley begins throwing Dale's peaches onto the ground. What? That's truly that's that's one step too far. You can't be disrespecting someone else's peaches. Dale runs across and tears the sign off of Bradley's stand and like tears it in half.

What? The girls are all just like watching with their mouths open? These men are like not going to fist fight right? They are like not those type of. No they're just going to ruin each other's fruit. Yes so like Jordan and the other farmers have to like pull these two boys apart and be like chill out. This is bananas. We are basically at the end how do you feel? I'm I'm deeply stressed out. Like I really I'm so sorry. There has been so much fruit harmed in this story. I can't guess. Okay I like do you understand fruit to me? It's a miracle every fruit. Fruit is a miracle. I'm a defender of fruit. My ancestors were orchardists. Like this is truly. As a defender of fruit this story is offensive to you. It's very offensive. It's your heritage. It is. It's my

heritage. I have to say I originally was really like mad at Bradley but I have to say like Bradley did almost nothing wrong in this story. Even Dale did almost nothing wrong. Like the farmers they did almost nothing wrong. Jordan however. Yeah who side are you on and who side are you not? It seems like Jordan is coming out as your enemy. Jordan is bad news. Madison is bad news for harboring Jordan. Also I mean I don't know what the deal is with water in the Great Plains. I think they're fine but in California we have drought. We have a historic drought that will never end. So the like the use of water just hurts me to my soul. Wasting all this water because you live in a weird van. You chose to have that van life. You chose this for your

lifestyle and then you're coming in using these young people's resources. It's just it's it's unthinkable. Like no no no and then you just prance around with your good looks and your pheromones. Your beautiful tattoos and your beloved personality. I have one last question for you and then I will give you like the final updates. Okay. Which is do you think that it's possible that Jordan was a plant? Oh yes I do think it's possible. You do? Why? Well I mean if Dale really had that bad of stuff maybe I mean it does well I guess considering

like Jordan is so sort of like unself-aware and like I could see Jordan being devious enough to be a plant to be working as a plant considering the fact that they like are sort of I don't know if it's like deviousness is the thing of of like coming and using the water but like certainly it's like selfishness and just like a sort of a lack of like not caring for other people you know and then being narcissistic and so then I could see yeah I could see that happening I don't think it's likely but I could see it's not like my number I don't think it's like the most likely thing Would you like to hear the final updates that I have? Obviously I want to know everything yes.

Okay the updates are as punishment for their brawl the tents of Bradley and Dale now have to be far apart at the farmers market. Oh okay okay okay okay. Bradley has been exiled to row C but this did lead the farmers market to instituting assigned stand positions. Oh good thank goodness. So that is helpful I guess. But I guess he's always in row C now so. But now he's always in row C next to the vegan Jamaican stand which is not ideal. Do they still work for him? This is it's been several years so I don't think so but I will find out.

I mean I just want to know now so I'm curious and Madison did not break up with Jordan. Whoa. But she didn't have to because Jordan left in their van after the fight and like has not been seen again. Has never come back. That tracks I think that tracks like I don't think Jordan has never really done one single action throughout this entire story that has been for anyone else. Yeah that's true that's true. They did get to squeeze a lot of peaches which caused harm. Yeah everything has been sort of self-motivated on Jordan's behalf.

That's really true. Well so I mean thank you so much for coming on Normal Gossip it was a dream to have you. Wow Kelsey you really ruined my day with all this fruit abuse thanks. I'm so sorry to have put you through this forced you to hear about peaches. But I will say like you've really also made me look forward to peach season. Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us email us at normal gossip at defector.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 gossip. If you love this podcast and want us to keep making it become a friend or a friend of a friend at supportnormalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at Normal Gossip.

You can follow Kelsey on all social media at McKinney Kelsey. This podcast was produced by Alex Sujong Loughlin. Diana Moskovitz is our story editor. Justin Ellis is defectors projects editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are defectors business guys. Tom Lei is our editor-in-chief. Jay Tolviera is our production assistant. Dan McQuade runs our merch store which you can find at normalgossip.store. Tara Chacoby designed our show art. Thanks to the rest of the defectors staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radio Topia. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney. I'm Marielle Cabe and remember you did not hear this from me.