Normal Gossip - Monster-in-Law with Chelsea Devantez

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

Chelsea Devantez joined us for a story about a family with enough money to buy anything they want—except another one-of-a-kind heirloom hutch. Follow Chelsea on Instagram here and check out Chelsea’s podcast Glamorous Trash here.Subscribe to our newsletter for writing from Rachelle, Se'era, Jae, Alex, and Kelsey, plus blog recommendations and secrets!You can support Normal Gossip directly by buying merch or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend at supportnormalgossip.com.You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page: https://normalgossip.komi.io/Episode transcript here.Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP.Normal Gossip is hosted by Rachelle Hampton (@heyydnae) and produced by Se'era Spragley Ricks (@seera_sharae) and Jae Towle Vieira (@jaetowlevieira). Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs) is our Supervising Producer. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Show art by Tara Jacoby.Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. Support Radiotopia's fall fundraiser here. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Hey, it's Alex Sujong Loughlin, and I am here with the Rachel Hampton of Normal Gossip. Hello. Hello, Alice. And I'm also here with Patrick Redford of Only If You Get Caught. Hi, Patty. Howdy? How are we doing? So we're all here together because the annual Radiotopia fundraiser is upon us, and we are still trying to reach 1,500 donors by the end of the year. So Radiotopia is the network that sells our ads, that does our marketing. Rachel, what does it mean to you to be a part of an independent network? I mean, I think it means mostly and most importantly to me a lot of editorial freedom. I love that I'm not beholden to anyone when we're scheduling how many seasons we do every year or how many episodes we want to make. We get to make the show that is the most sustainable for us and that allows us to make the best version of the show possible. Huge. I totally agree. I think that something that I have really appreciated about Radiotopia is that they give us total control over what advertisers we say yes and no to. So like in the past, we've had advertisers that we've worked with who then maybe we hear from our audience that, you know, they're not so into them. And we can go back to Radiotopia and say, hey, we don't want to do that anymore. And I think not a lot of podcasts have that kind of autonomy over who. is advertising for them, which is really cool. Definitely. And it means that the things that we do advertise, we actually tend to enjoy. Shocker. Patrick, tell me what does being independent mean to

you? Well, this is maybe a sort of oblique answer, but like in sports media specifically over the past few years, everyone is like underwritten by a gambling company. And you can just see when there's these big stories, you know, cheating adjacent about gambling in sports that like so much of media is like compromised. And it's such a breath of fresh air to like not have to deal with that to just know that like whatever we put out there is like our own thoughts. There's no like intervening layer of owners or advertisers. And hopefully that comes through to the viewer. Like hopefully you see that like, you know, there's a certain level of honesty that we can bring to this. So if you love this show and you want shows like ours to exist and thrive, help our podcast

neighbors at Radiotopia by donating at Radiotopia.fm slash donate. Thank you so much. free audio post-production by our phonic.com Hello and welcome to normal gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and in each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world.

I'm going to remind you guys one more time that the normal gossip team has got a little break coming up. We will not be publishing during the weeks of Christmas and New Year, but have no fear. We'll be back in your feeds with fresh gossip within the first full week of 2026. So our last episode for this year is this one, the one we're listening to right now that premiered on December 17th. We will be back on January 7th.

Now, I know we normally don't do this, have breaks in the middle of the season, and I've heard to the grapevine that y'all have all been very, Very good this year. So I can't promise anything, but there may or may not be a little holiday gift for y'all here in the normal gossip feed on Christmas Eve. Something I maybe wouldn't recommend listening to with your family unless you're really, really close.

That's all I'll say for now. On to the gossip. Today's guest is Emmy-nominated writer and comedian Chelsea Devontas. Chelsea hosts the podcast, Glamorous Trash, where she recaps and discusses celebrity members. memoirs. So she is a repository of both Hollywood knowledge and gossip. Chelsea, hello. Thank you so much for joining me. This is an honor. An honor and a privilege. Thank you for having me. This is actually our second time talking about gossip way back in November of 2023. We had you on ICYMI to talk about

the year in celebrity memoirs, which is your area of expertise. And I remember you saying something along the lines of the genre, a celebrity memoir, sort of inextricably bound up with gossip. So I wanted to ask, what came first for you? Was it the interest in celebrities or an interest in gossip? Or is it sort of like a chicken and egg situation? It was an interest in the arts and a career here and me opening each book to be like, How did you get here?

Tell me everything. And then I think it became, even though, yeah, They absolutely are tied with gossip. I think there's a light side and a dark side to celebrity gossip. And in the memoirs, the beautiful thing that can come out of it is this sort of anthropological study of like what is going on in culture, these like giant cultural ideas that suddenly feels so understandable when taken through the lens of Britney Spears doing spins on Instagram. And you're like, I think I know where we're at with women. And that is something that is such a gift from celebrities. You know, it's like the adult fairy tale characters.

They're real living human beings, especially the women. Just giving us so much meaning. And that's where I think that's the light side of gossip. And then the dark side of gossip, it's to me more being like, Ashton culture doesn't believe sobriety is real. Yeah. Unfortunately, the kind of gross side is what keeps me tuning in. Oh, I love that.

So you're here for like the juice. You're here for like who is settling scores, naming names, like who they have sex with. Yeah. Oh, 100%. I have a very weird take on memoirs, which is the one I bring to the podcast, which I ask three questions about the book to pass what I call the book till test. If you got that reference, you're a real one. But I do the book till test at the end of my podcast. And it asks, was the author vulnerable when they were sharing their truth?

Was it entertaining? And did it elevate your life in any way? Yeah. Which is a very different way to look at like another test. I feel like the more common test is like, did they talk shit? did I learn gossip? And did I get to hate on them? And I just see it a different way because these books have been helping me my whole life. Like Delta Burke's memoir truly saved my life when I was a teenager because as you remember, she was cast out of Hollywood for the crime of being a size 10.

Lock me up, right? And being a woman trying on jeans and Abercrombie where an available size was double zero, Delta Burke really healed me in that moment. Yeah. That makes me want to ask a sort of of cerebral question, which is, do you feel like our modern idea of what a celebrity is can exist without the concept of gossip? I think absolutely yes now, because the walls of what gossip used to mean with celebrities and how we interacted with them has wholly been burned to the ground with social media. And we used to, you know, really think about celebrities through, like what head of gabbler was like gossiping about the 1940s and that was our only perception and it was really inextricably tied with publicity and money and making sure the movie made

money where now there's so much available and you can own control and create your own narrative that I guess if you consider the idea that they're spreading their own gossip then yes but I kind of don't think you can spread your own gossip like you can create your own lore you can tell your own truth. But, like, me telling you, like, who I fucked, like, that's not gossip. You've got to tell someone else who I fucked. Yes, yes. I mean, just, I think definitionally, gossip is about someone who's not in the room.

So I feel like you can't spread gossip about yourself. Though, if it spreads beyond you, maybe a then circles back to being gossip. Yeah. You know what? That reminds me of Matthew McConaughey. the McConaissance, he started that in an interview. Did he really? Yes. He was like, oh my God, people are calling it a McConaissance. And they were like, are they now? And they were like, thank you for the headline. I think that's a successful. I've started my own gossip in the way I wanted it to go. He like wins an Oscar the next year. That is so funny that he started that himself. I'm going to start doing that. I'm going to be like, well, you know, they say Rachel has a fat ass and a small waist.

The people have been saying. They're like, oh, are they saying that? Who is they in this question? Yeah, and I'd be like, they say she has the number one podcast even over all the red pill men. Can you believe? Can you believe? They say she's beating out the Joe Brogan experience every day. And they're like, uh, like, sure, we won't check the data.

No problem. And we won't. And we won't. A little birdie told me that you have some gossip for me. You know, it's gossip. that also haunts a core part of my life. On one of the shows I worked on, an actress was very insecure

about her comedic prowess. And the men in the show were, like, loved improvising. She came up to me one day and was like, hey, can you write me some extra jokes in this scene? And I was like,

absolutely, fucking lute. I would love to. So I wrote her a bunch of jokes on the side. And then she, you know, goes into the scene. She does them. And they were like, whoa, that was awesome. And she was like, yeah, I can improvise too.

And they're like, you just thought of that? She's like, yeah, can you believe? And I'm in my headphones being like, oh. And like in any other setup, I would have loved this. I would have been like, we got them. You know what I mean? Like, we got them. Except she was so fucking mean to me and so mean to every other woman on the show

and would try and like steal their jokes that I felt. so utterly robbed and then every day it went on for a month every day she would be like yep just improvised again boys and i have kept that secret until now why try to impress men is my question for what for what and even if you're like oh to have sex with them you don't have to do that you don't have to impress them no sex with them no you just have to breathe just put i don't know just write it down sex question mark you don't have to spell it right No, they get it. They get it. And they'll partake if they want.

They won't. No impressing is involved. That is so wild. Also, does she assume that these actors were also improvising their own jokes? Like, what if they were just doing the exact same thing that she was doing, which is stealing jokes from other people? And it's interesting because as writer and hers performer, I thought a lot about, like, is she stealing? It is my job to write jokes. it was really only that she could have boosted me, my career, been like, oh, yeah, like Chelsea did that or whatever,

because, you know, sexism was running through the show, and it's always towards female comedians. People would rather round down on your talent than round up. So I thought a lot about, like, is this kosher? And again, had she been kind in any way, even to other women, not me, I would have loved the coup. I would have been like, yeah, get them. And instead I was like, I've helped a monster.

Look even better on television. That really does feel like the trials and travails of Hollywood is making people that you secretly know are not good, look good on television. Wow. Yeah, absolutely. And I would say even like making people, you know, behind the scenes look good when you... Like, once you finish a project, you can't turn around and be like,

actually, that producer fucking blows. I wish you could, though. Yeah, I mean, I will say there's a few out there. They're, like, you know, Jennifer Lawrence would tell you the truth. I know. When you said Jennifer Lawrence, I was like, well, yeah, of course she was. She's Jennifer Lawrence. But you got to get the power first.

Yes. That was incredible gossip. It does make me reconsider whether or not I want to make my pivot to Hollywood. Once you get here, it is hell. But I'll be here to hold your hand. But I'm not going to tell you you're not about to walk through hell every day of your life. That's a lie I'm not going to tell. Thank you so much.

Come suffer with me. Before we suffer together. Well, let's suffer together in a different way, because I have some gossip for you. Okay, I'm ready. When winter really sets in here at home, I start dreaming of a warm winter getaway. And this season, I'm looking at visiting Riviera, Maya, and Mexico. There's truly nothing like stepping off a plane from negative 10 degrees Celsius, weather, and feeling that instant hit of tropical air.

So this winter, I plan to find a beautiful home on Airbnb right near the beach in Tulum. And here are some of my dream accommodations. Maybe a plunge pool, some bright open windows, maybe a little hammock to lounge in. I can look for my ideal spot by using the guest favorites feature, which will show me the most love homes on Airbnb. And my ideal day on this winter getaway starts kind of slow with a morning walk down to the water, with a coffee, and in the afternoon, it's time to explore sonotes and grab some tacos for lunch. At night, we would head home and relax and cook simple dinners, maybe have a little drink out on the patio. And for me, staying in a home on Airbnb instead of a hotel makes a trip just

feel slower and more personal, like we're actually living there for a little while. It's exactly the kind of break we need from winter. It's warm, it's restorative, and a reminder that sometimes the best way to enjoy the cold is to get far, far away from it. Today's story is about mother-in-laws. Oh, my God. Amazing. God, I already know who side I'm on, but I'll try and stay open. So I'm not married. I don't have any personal experience with mother-in-laws. I know that some can be lovely and some can be particular. And some can be both at the same time. Tell me about your experience with mother-in-laws.

What's your immediate reaction when you hear the word? Well, mother-in-law is a relationship you, as a writer, you grow up seeing these tropes that are truly scathing towards women. The moment, you know, their child gets married, they become a harpy, shrewy bitch. So you try and stay away from them or bring nuance to them or really trying to understand it. Now I'm married. And my mom has become his mother-in-law. And so I can see her in a different way.

And his mom has become my mother-in-law. Here's the anecdote that will tell you our relationship with our moms. So my husband and I both come from single moms mostly. My mom got married a lot. But single moms who raised three kids. His mom had three kids, different dads. My mom had three kids, different dads. We got married.

We're the ones who, if your mom was late on her cell phone bill, like, we're the kids they call to be like, you're paying that, right? Like we're the little type A star student kids that are like, we'll go get a job and help pay rent, mom. So when we got married, I think it was extra devastating for our mothers. And somehow at our wedding venue, there was a low hanging billboard. I don't know why. And it was right after COVID. So they were like, you can do whatever you want here.

Please just have a wedding here. It was years after COVID. But it was like their first wedding. And so they're like, you can cover the billboard if you want. And we got our mothers a photo shoot and we put them up on a billboard outside of our wedding venue. That's so cute. So that they could survive letting their children find love and happiness without them. That is adorable.

I will be asking for a photo of the billboard. Happy to send it. But I think that explains the dynamics of like, so lovely, so great. And also, oh, boy. Yeah. You have captured the vibe perfectly. No one thinks about their mother-in-law when they fall in love. Our friend of a friend certainly had not.

And our friend of a friend today is named Emmeline. Emeline is a budget analyst for a small arts nonprofit. She is one of those girls who bullet journals. I love Emmeline. She is my ingenue. Let's go. Her handwriting is basically a font. Like, that is how much Emmeline loves journaling. And in fact, it is Emmeline's handwriting that catches the eyes of Tess. Emmeline and Tess met in a lesbian birding club in Brooklyn.

They had both spotted a Baltimore Oriole at the same time. And when Emmeline went to record the sighting in her bullet journal, Tessa had complimented her beautiful handwriting. And it was basically over from there. Like, one second, they're following migration patterns and going shopping for birding journals together. And then six months later, they're moving in together. This is pretty fast for Emmeline, even as a lesbian.

I was going to say, okay, are you sure? She's lesbian. But all right. But she and Tess are so happy. Tess is a graphic designer at a publishing company for artist books. So her and Emmeline's aesthetic taste is actually really well matched. Uh-oh, we're about to get into the wedding. Oh, gosh. Okay. Well, speaking of weddings, what to you are the first signs that someone comes for money? They drop what college they went to. Oh, yeah. And they think it's an accomplishment that, their dad paid for it and you're like okay sure another sign they come from money is they wear a lot of crem a lot of cream and i would say a sign in wedding culture that you come from money is that like idiotic things like the invitation um and the cake decorations and like the chairs like what are the chair color because only rich people have options to choose what kind of chair will be in quantities of 100, 200, and 300.

And you know what? That is so real. So, Emeline knew Tess was generous. Like Tess had insisted on paying for all their dates. For their three-month anniversary, Tess had bought Emmeline a mop-block pin, which start at $400. It's when they start moving in together,

and Emmeline starts asking about how they're going to split the rent, that Tess finally admits that her parents aren't just, like, bankers at a Wall Street firm. Tess sits them lying down and it's like, listen, I'm rich, like, really, really rich. She does not say it like that, but Tess is like there's a family foundation, there is a trust fund, and my parents pay for all of my housing as long as I'm employed. If you receive this sort of information from your girlfriend of six months that you just moved in with, are you asking you any questions?

Sign me up. You don't want a pre-nup, right? Get me in this house. You're paying for rent. This is a type of luxury I've never tasted. I'm in. But that's because I'm a little poor trash can. I think the healthy thing to do would be like, way, way back up and why am I just hearing this now? But for me, I said, I'm like, okay, like, can you buy me a new bed or like, what's going on here? You and Emeline are actually kind of on the same page. Emmeline receives this information and she's like, you know what? Let me not block my blessing with something as trivial as financial transparency. So her only response is, I would love you whether you had $0 in your account. 3 million. Okay, but I love you

more now that I know you have 3 million, but okay. Emmeline does not ask any questions about the money when Tess furnishes their new apartment with custom furniture. She doesn't ask any questions when Tess proposes to her a year later with a diamond the size of a raspberry.

Doesn't even ask any questions when Tess asks her to sign a pre-nup. Emmeline skims the pre-nup. She's not dumb. Okay, she is if she skims, but okay. She sees that there is a million dollar payout in the event of divorce with additional money should any children be produced. So she's like, I'm set, perfect, more money than I ever thought I would get out of a divorce.

The wedding is in the Prospect Park Boathouse, so cute. Test pays, obviously. And it's not until after the wedding that Emmeline really starts to think about the family that she is marrying into. After the wedding? Okay. What kind of vibes would you expect this sort of family to have, a family that has their own foundation? Well, it depends because they're paying for a giant princess wedding for a lesbian couple. So I'm sort of like maybe these are like the liberals in succession.

They're at least half on the right side. They want to give all their money to like charities and organizations and like help the world. Maybe they are Mrs. X. Jeff Bezos and she's donated more money than him. So I've got a pretty open heart at this point. Yeah. So obviously Emline had met Tessa's family before they got married. And honestly, they were all. pretty lovely. It is giving that liberal family in succession for the most part. So Tess is the baby

of the family. She has three older siblings. You do not need to know their names. You just need to know that they also have trust funds and their schooling and housing is paid for. The only member of Tessa's family whose name you need to know is Gigi, the mom. Well, Gigi is Tessa's mom, as you correctly guessed, and thus, Emmeline's mother-in-law, and Gigi is what she requires everyone in her life to call her. except for her children and her employees, of which she has many. Because Gigi is not just managing multiple homes. She is also on the board of the Family Foundation, which is a job that literally no one else in the family wants.

So Gigi is always complaining about it. Being on the board does suck, to be fair. There are like meetings with crypto bros. Gigi is also always complaining about how no one in the family helps her plan holidays or birthdays or vacations, which is also true. No one helps. But also, like, the last time someone had tried to help that someone being the wife of one of Tess's brothers, it had ended with the wife being lectured for hours about what color tartan is allowed in a Ralph Lauren holiday spread. How would you approach having this sort of mother-in-law?

I have an approach called Play Dead. And when I'm with really tough people, I just play dead. I give less than a yes. I give a nod and a smile. No opinions, no feelings, no movement, as if I'm not. I should be engaged with at all. And then anytime they kind of stab you verbally, you don't react because you're already dead.

And so it's just sort of like, you don't have to kill me or hurt me emotionally, already dead. I think that's called like gray rocking it, which is very smart. No, gray rocking is a little, has a little more effort to it. Oh, really? So, really? So, like, I am firmly giving you nothing. Playing dead is, I don't even have a choice in it.

I'm dead. Trust me, I'm not even, I'm not even having the thought. that I should therapy you out of my life. I'm fucking dead. Move on. You know what I mean? It's like the murderers coming by the dead bodies and I have covered myself in someone else's blood

so they don't even think about me. It's giving PETA in the game, turning himself into a rock. PETA when he like covers himself in a mud mask and he's like, yes, that is exactly what I do with people who you can tell, just love to fuck with you for sport. Yeah.

M.O.I. had known what she was in for well before the wedding. When it was made clear to her that until they were married, Tess and Emeline would not be sleeping in the same room together during any of these holidays or birthdays or vacations, which does not just apply to them. Gigi is not homophobic. Yeah, I love that she upholds the patriarchy,

even with her lesbian daughter. None of Gigi's kids are allowed to sleep in the same room as their significant others until they're married. Being engaged does not count because, as Gigi would say, it is a long way from Bid and Me to the family to the altar. How do you feel about this rule? Oh, I would absolutely be breaking it just to mess with her. I'd be like, I've got to give you a quiet blowjob tonight just to take the power back.

I thought you were playing dead. Wait, she's a rip and she walked in the room suddenly. Choked a death. I'm dead. But quietly, I'm still trying to retain some amount of dignity. Like I'm a person with choices and options in the world. Okay, okay. Yeah. So, Emmeline also is a little mift. Not least because it is not an option to skip any of these occasions unless you wanted to encourage. her Gigi's wrath. And Emmeline had also learned early on that Tess maintains her position as Gigi's favorite child by defying Gigi on as few occasions as possible. You know, again, maybe it's because I grew up in a trash can, but all of this sounds like a small price to pay for money. I'm like, sure, we go over Thanksgiving in a nice house where the food is catered by some chef and all I have to do is like sleep alone for three days, which I did as a

single person. It's fine with me. It's true. Emmeline can remember, like, one time in their entire relationship where Tess has really put her foot down with her mother. And this is when Gigi had tried to help Tess buy an apartment. This was before Tess had access to her trust fund because there is a rule in Tess's family somewhere in the bylaws of the family foundation that states that no member of the family will be able to access their trust fund until the age of 30. This is allegedly to foster independence. In practice, it usually just means that all of the children's first properties are purchased by their parents. As the youngest, Tess has learned from the mistakes of her older siblings in terms of how to deal with her mother. And this is how she knows that a down payment from Gigi comes with strings attached.

In one of Tess's brothers' homes, Gigi had outfitted a room for herself with a separate entry that she can access whenever she wanted. I'm sorry, that's sick. Absolutely. walk in and out. Don't bother me. I hope you're sleeping with someone. So Tess very politely says no when Gigi offers to buy her a home

and that she would just keep renting until she turned 30. Well, Gigi hadn't talked to her for a month after that. All of this is important context for our story, which takes place about a year after Tess and Emmeline's wedding, when Tess and Emmeline decides to finally make the move from New York to Philly, where the rest of Tess's family lives.

They had been thinking about it for years. They had never taken the plunge because moving to Philly isn't just, like, lower cost of living and hanging out with Tess's siblings. It also means being within spitting distance of Gigi. Mline has some concerns, but then she gets offered a job in Philly as a budget analyst for the city. And Tess turns 30, which means they can finally start looking to buy a home. And they don't really want to buy property in New York. Like, Tess is rich, but she's like, I don't want to do that. It's so much money.

So they start looking in Philly, which is where Tess falls in love with a beautiful $1.5 million townhome in Fittler Square that was built in 1900. It's got 14-foot ceilings, it's got crown molding, the mahogany and walnut floors are original to the house. And again, M-Wine has the concerns about moving to Philly, but when she sees this townhome, all of her concerns melt away, which is exactly what happens to me when I see a beautiful house. I'm like, you know what? I don't see any problems here. Emmeline's like, this place is perfect. We can move in right now. And Tess is like, not quite.

Because Tess wants a sub-zero fridge. And she doesn't really love the staircase down to the basement. She wants to renovate a little bit because rich people can never just move into a place. So she's like, let me call my mom. She's always renovating one of the houses. She'll know somebody. It's been two whole years since, like, that last home buying debacle. And Gigi is a benevolent bitch.

She can forgive. She can forget. When Tess calls her to get some recommendations for an architect, Gigi even offers to pay for the whole renovation. Do you think this is a safe offer to accept from Gigi? Well, you're doing it knowing that she's building an underground tunnel for her to come up into your bedroom night. But free is free.

And you've got to take a coupon where you can. Yeah. At this point, Tess has access to her trust fund. So she's like, you know what, Mom, that is so generous. no thank you. Gigi is benevolent. She doesn't take offense. Instead, she's like, well, you know, your Aunt Paula is finally moving to Santa Barbara. She's clearing out her house. And since you won't let me help you get anything, maybe you'll let Paula. You should grab some things for the new place. This is an offer that actually entices Emmeline. Because of all of Tessa's relatives, Aunt Paula is Emmeline's favorite. She is Gigi's youngest sister, and she had used her trust fund to fund her life as an artist. She's got a beautiful house near Pennsylvania Dutch country. has been there for enough family gatherings to be like, I want whatever Paula is giving away. The only problem is,

Tess can't get away from work before Paula needs to clear out the house. Gigi's like, that's fine. Emmeline's taking some time off before her new job starts, right? She and I can go together. Emmeline, like, it's only a two and a half hour drive. That's nothing. It's nothing. Come on, that's two podcasts.

She's known Gigi for going on four years now, And over those four years, even though Gigi does make her insane, Emmeline has come to kind of admire Gigi. All of Gigi's siblings, including Paula, had chosen to take less capitalistic paths than managing the family's assets, which is all well and good for the environment and the arts and shit. But someone's got to make sure the money keeps flowing.

She is the undisputed matriarch of this family. She's taken on burdens. She's giving away money. So far, she comes with more benefits than most mother-in-laws. Emmeline's like, it cannot hurt for us to be closer. The drive there is largely uneventful. They arrive at Paula's house. The place is so big that Emmeline and Gigi immediately lose each other in it.

And Paula is like, take anything you want. Just leave your name on a sticky note and I'll ship it to you. So it's when Emmeline is trying to figure out how many Persian rugs one actually needs, that she sees it. And it is the hutch. Emmeline has never believed in love at first sight until this moment. It's expertly carved in this gorgeous dog walnut that will look perfect against the floors of the new townhouse. The drawer is curved in this breathtaking way that even Emmeline, who is no furniture expert, is like impeccable craftmanship.

And then there's the fact that hand carved into the wood of this hutch are a flock of Baltimore Orioles. Emeline is like, I have to have this hutch. And Paula walks in. She sees Emmeline falling in love with the hutch. And she's like, you have great taste. This was my mother's. She was an artist, too, you know, just like me and Tess. And Paula is like, when our mother died, Gigi wanted this hutch so badly.

But our mother made sure it went to me. She's like, I would take it with me, but I just don't have space for it in a new place in California. And mine's like, so that means Gigi already claimed it? And Aunt Paula gives a little wink before being like, not yet. you know those pop culture scandals you still can't stop thinking about yeah us too so we made a podcast about all the ones we can't forget i'm sadaph and i'm sarah we're journalists and self-identified historians of celebrity gossip on our podcast the reheat we dive into the biggest celebrity scandals of the past and re-examine them with fresh eyes and a whole lot less shame i never thought I would be a Samantha, but I really, really connect with her now. And I have learned to empathize with Marvel executives at this point, having done this much research. And I believe that... It's like pop culture therapy with your smartest, funniest friends. What do you wear for that

historic moment? What do you wear for that moment? I do love that. See, now what you're doing is dangerous. You're making me like Kate Middleton and I never thought that I would get there. I feel like the two of you could hang out and have fun. We probably could have a very good time. A very good time. the reheat wherever you get your podcasts. Emma line does admire Gigi, but on the lowest of key, she also feels like Gigi can take advantage of Tess's passiveness. And Emmeline just knows that Tess would want this hutch, too. It has Baltimore Orioles on it. It's the bird that brought them together. So Emmeline tells

Aunt Paula, please, I want it so bad. Paula's like, it's yours. I'll bookmark it for you. We'll figure the shipping details out later. She's like, the only thing is I need it out of the house by the end of the month. And this is a problem because Emmeline and Tess's renovation is not slated to wrap up for another three months. And this hutch is massive. It's at this moment that Gigi walks in. And she makes a beeline for the hutch.

But before she can even say anything, Paula's like, not so fast. Emmeline's claimed it. Paula, you a witch, girl. You are brutal. Paula's worth this than Gigi. Gigi immediately looks furious. She's like, Paula, you know I've wanted this for years. And Paula just shrugs.

She's like, you should have gotten here first then, instead of trying to hoard all the silver. Gigi takes a different tack. She's like, Emmeline, won't you need someplace to store this while the renovations wrap up? Well, Emmeline's like, uh, why don't... Yeah. Can you put it in one of your big storage units, Gigi?

She's like, why don't I ask Tess when I get home? Because she knows Gigi is right. The Hutch is massive. It's not going to fit in the apartment. She and Tess are staying while the renovations wrap up. But also, she knows Gigi. She's like, this does not feel like a safe offer. That's right.

Yes. Gigi's like, no, no need to bother Tess. She's at work. We can store this as Spring Beauty. I'm sure she'll be fine with it. Spring Beauty is the family cabin in Hudson, New York. Gigi's like, you can pick it up whenever you're all studded. them in the new place. What options do you think Emmeline has here? She still has a two-hour drive

back to the city with Gigi. If you want it that bad, start lifting, start strapping it to the top of your little Volvo and drive it home if you want it that bad. Call a storage unit, do not take her up on this offer. Emeline's like, I don't know what to do because like Gigi's just smiling at her. So Emmeline's like, yeah, sure. Thank you so much. That sounds great. Hey, you lost Emmeline. And behind her, Emmeline just hears Paula give a heavy sigh, which is not encouraging. Neither is Paula's tone when she tells Emmeline,

call me if you need any help. When Emmeline recounts a story to Tess later after another largely uneventful drive back to the city with Gigi, Emmeline's like, what did your aunt mean by that? Call me if you need help. Tess is like, I don't know. Paul and my mom have always had a weird relationship. I've never really asked about it.

For three months, Emeline does not find out what Paula met. That is how long it takes for the work on Emeline and Tess's new townhouse to finish. But finally, the renovation is done. It is stunning. It just needs one more thing. During the renovation, they had knocked out a wall and moved it six inches, creating a perfect little nook that is just the right size for the hutch.

On the first night in their new home, Emmeline is like, so when can we drive up to Spring Beauty to get the hutch? How would you approach reclaiming this hutch from your mother-in-law? I mean, one, you send someone. else to, like, make her tell a man holding a clipboard no. Well, luckily, they don't have to really have to think about that because Gigi stops by the very next day with a $500 bottle of wine as a housewarming gift. Tess and Emmeline give her a tour.

Before Gigi had gotten there, and Tess and Emmeline had agreed that Tess should spear at the conversation about the hutch. So it is Tess who has shown on her mother the dining room. And she's like, this is where we're thinking unpolis hutch will go. And then she's like, by the way, when can we go up to Spring Beauty to pick it up? up. Gigi has the audacity to look a little bit sheepish. She's like, girls, I'm so sorry, but I've fallen in love with the hutch. It looks so perfect in spring beauty. It fits the design ethos perfectly. And it was my mother's, you know. I miss her every single day.

Gigi's like, I know this is inconvenient, but I'll buy y'all whatever hutch you want. Name your price. Sorry, I'm on Gigi's side. It's her mom's. Her mom gave it. to her more favorite daughter, ouch, she's healing that trauma wound by stealing it from her rich nepo daughter who gets whatever the fuck she wants and she'll buy them something new.

Move on. When Gigi dies, you'll get the hutch. Tess is like, that is such a lovely offer, mom. I'm a line and I will talk it over, but we did design the space around that specific hutch. So, I'm pretty sure we're still going to want it. Gigi's like, don't worry about that.

I can even cover the renovation cost if it's that bothersome. Just think about it. Yeah, then get over it. This is crazy. Then Gigi's like, there's a lovely little antique shop in La Maree. I've been meaning to take you girls to Paris for a while now.

And with that, Gigi leaves. So, to reiterate, the offer on the table is, if Gigi gets to keep the original hutch, she will not only pay for a new hutch, she will cover the renovation cost of moving the wall by six inches and seemingly a trip to Paris. To me, this feels like a good deal. Let me tell you a mother-in-law story I know from Fred's,

it. A woman was pregnant with her husband's child and he made food for the family and the mother-in-law and then wrapped a plate for her in the fridge because she was breastfeeding their other child as she is still pregnant. She came down to get the food. The mother-in-law had given the food to another kid, had just given away her plate of food. The pregnant woman punched her mother-in-law in the face. Her mother-in-law punched her back and now the man is on Reddit going, what do I do? Now that's when you have a problem with your mother-in-law. That being said, I don't hear her Tess being that problematic, she's just like kind of goes with the flow and lightly wants the hutch. Yeah, I mean, honestly, Emmeline's a little swayed by this offer.

She has always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower. Surprisingly, it actually is Tess who has hesitations. She's like, Emmeline, I've never seen you as excited about anything as you have been for that hutch. And Aunt Paula really seemed to want us specifically to have it. Tess is like, Emmeline, I've never seen you hornier or more fucking turned up. up and for that hutch. And given that you react to that hutch more than you ever reacted to me

in our birding club, I need that thing in my house to keep my wife satisfied. Tess is like, happy wife, happy life. I got to get that hutch up in here. My wife is in love with an inanimate object. And the thing is,

Emmeline is kind of thrilled to see her wife thinking about taking a stand against Gigi. And this feels like the perfect opportunity because Emmeline's like, how heated can things actually get over a piece of furniture. Emeline helps Tess craft a text to her mother. The text reads, we appreciate your generosity, but our hearts are set on the original hutch. Stupid. They're like, we want to keep it, and we want to set up a time to come pick it up from Spring Beauty. Tess had sent on this message,

and then she waits. And she doesn't have to wait long, because almost immediately Gigi starts typing. And then she stops, and like a minute goes by. And then she starts typing again. And at last, her response arrives. So, Gigi, right? writes, this is the thanks I get for my kindness. You seem to have forgotten that this is my mother's hutch. My mother's. I have been nothing but generous to you and your wife. I told you I would buy you any hutch in the world,

and you only want the hutch that is perfect for Spring Beauty. I'm shocked at how callously have you decided to run rough shot over my heart and my wishes, all over a piece of furniture. I know I raised you better than this. Team Gigi. Sorry, like, yeah, that's such a rude. an underhanded condescending text. So what? Go to Paris.

The thing is, Tess has witnessed this sort of energy from her mother, but as her mother's favorite and as the youngest, she has never been the recipient of it. She is in her 30s. She's had a great life then. Tess is shocked and like a little bit indignant. She's like, what the fuck?

She immediately texts a screenshot of the conversation to her siblings group chat, and Tess is fully expecting to be backed up. But remember, Tess is the thing. favorite, and the youngest. So they're all thrilled. They're thrilled she's getting it. All of her siblings have seen her escape the worst of their mother's wrath for three decades.

And you know what? That's how Gigi feels about bitch-ass Paula. So to Tessa's shock and dismay, they all take Gigi's side. Tessa's brother is like, it belonged to her mother. Don't be so selfish. Tess's oldest sister is like, why would it go to you and Emmeline anyway? If anything, it should go to me. Emmeline's like, fuck this group chat.

Emmeline takes out her own phone. She texts Aunt Paula, and she explains the entire situation. And only takes a few minutes for Paula to reply. Paula says, the hutch will be at your house tomorrow. Don't say anything to my sister. And please tip the movers. Meanwhile, test it, Emily, and are like, Ugh, we have to tip them.

Oh, God. Life is so hard for us. The next day, as promised, the hutch arrives. Aunt Paula's a mover and shaker. The movers are cleaning up. Emmeline takes a photo of the hutch so she can send it to Aunt Paul. and show her how perfectly it fits into the dining room.

So she's crafting little text to Ampala, and she sends it to Unpala, or at least she means to. Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? Yes, yes. It is one of the most painful hyperventilations that exists. I think we should find a new label for that type of emotion that follows, and it should be added to the dictionary. I agree.

It's like, oh, I'm going to throw up. up and ship my pants at the same time. And it's always when you're talking shit about the person that you send, it's just like your brain is like, yeah, so Emmeline had typed in Paula's name, and somehow instead of clicking Paula's contact, she

had clicked the family group chat, which does include Paula, but it also includes the whole family, including Gigi, who responds almost immediately. These! Gigi writes in all caps

She then sends six robber emojis Gigi continues How did you even get into Spring Beauty Or maybe that's a question for the authorities And then she sends a magnifying glass emoji Okay, Gigi's getting fun I love threats through emojis Because you just don't know

If you should take them seriously or not Exactly, it's like it's so cute How much can this mean? This is the moment Tess Reinsures the House She had been tipping the movers So she's not looked at her phone. Tess takes one look at Emmeline's face and is like, what happened? So Emmeline shows her her phone, which is still open to the family group chat.

So she sees the photo that Emmeline has sent to the family group chat. And Tess goes white as a sheet. She's like, Emmeline, what the fuck? Paula literally told us not to tell my mom. And Emmeline's on the verge of tears. She's like, it was an accident, I swear. Yeah, you fucked up, girl. Before either of them can start looking for their passports to flee the country,

because that's immediately where their mind goes. Paula texts a family group chat. And she's like, the hutch looks lovely, emmeline. Paula says, I just know mom would have wanted you to have it, especially as I promised it to you from the beginning. Is Gigi's last name Murdoch? Is this the Murdoch murder? And it all begins with the hutch?

And then Paula continues. She's like, Gertrude, don't fuss. I was the one who had the hutch moved. I know you'd like to forget that mother left Spring Beauty to the both of us, but I do still have the door code. And then, Paula sends a photo of her own. It's from inside Spring Beauty, and it shows a stack of papers on the kitchen table.

And Paula says, I left a copy of the will at the house since she seemed to need a reminder of how the hutch came into my possession in the first place. Oh, when your receipt is a will? That's power. We are almost at the end of our story. Do you investigate this? Or do you just enjoy your beautiful new hutch? Sure, why not?

I mean, listen, you've already ruined your life. At least find out what legal protections you have. Well, things actually kind of just calm down after this. Paula seems to have some dirt on Gigi that just makes her shut up about the hutch. It does take another three months, though, for Emmline to find out what exactly Paula met by sending this photo.

At the next family gathering, Emeline finally decides to start asking questions. She sided up to Aunt Paula, and she's like, you so much for the hutch. I love it. Also, um, what was that? What happened? Girl, we're in those stack of papers. Um, Paula tells her that way back when Paula and Gigi were in their 20s, their mother had actually offered the hutch to Gigi. But at the time, Gigi didn't want some old dinky hutch. She wanted a new shiny one. So the hutch had gone to Paula. Who?

Oh. As an artist had loved the craftsmanship. Twist. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't until their mother died, and all the assets are getting divided, and the will is being read that they had all found out how much the hutch is worth. At the time of Gigi and Paula's mom's death, it had been valued in the low six figures. The hutch? The hutch. This also happens to be the moment that Gigi decided that she wanted to reclaim the hutch, which she said her mother had always wanted her to have. And this was the moment that Paula, as Gigi's younger sister, decided that Gigi would never have the hutch. That is the end of our story.

one small update, but first, do you think there are any villains in this story? What? What are you talking about? They're all villains. Every single one of them is a villain for putting any time and energy into this and not spending all of their time realizing their life is paid for and they should put some good into the world beyond your stupid fonts. And you're right. Unfortunately, the update is not about that. The update is that the hutch continues to look perfect in Tess and Emmeline's dining room and that to this day, Gigi has not set foot in Tess and Emmeline's dining room. Oh, well, then everybody won. That's what a, what a happy ending. Emeline gets to fuck the hutch in peace. Gigi never comes over and Paula moved to Santa Barbara

away from the East Coast and is like, I fucked my older sister over. Exactly, exactly. Gigi says that the hush is a symbol not only of her younger sister's betrayal but of her daughter's collusion. I love it. I love it for all of them. You know what? Gigi really seems like she needs something to do

and this little drama will probably drive her crazy till the end of time when she dies. Being on the board of the family foundation is not taking up enough of Gigi's time. It really isn't like go meet with more crypto bros and start thinking of new cryptocurrencies and new coins the family can start.

Well, that is the end of our story. Thank you so much, Chelsea. Well, thank you so much for having me. I need a picture of the hutch. Can you get a picture of the hutch for this? I need to see what a low millions hutch looks like. I need masturbation material. Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, email us at normalgossip at Defector.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 Gossip. If you love of this podcast, I want to support us become a friend or a friend of a friend at support normalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at Normal Gossip.

You can follow me on our social media at Hey Deney, H-E-Y-Y-Y-D-N-A-E. This podcast was produced by Sierra Spragley Ritz and J. Tolviera. Our audio engineer is Samantha Gatsick. The co-creators and Dowager Queens of Normal Gossip are Kelsey McKinney and Defector supervising producer Alex Sujong Laughlin. Justin Ellis is Defector's Projects Editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Coon are Defector's Business Guys. Tom Lay is our editor-in-chief. Dan McQuaid runs our merch store, which you can find at NormalGossip. Dot Store. Tara Jacoby design our show art. Thank you to Brandy Jensen, David Raw, Catherine Chu, Serena Imbler, Chris Thompson, Dave McKenna, Patrick Redford, and Ray Roddo for your help on this season. Thank you to the rest of the Defector staff.

Defector Media is a collectively owned. and subscriber-based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and remember, you didn't hear this for me. Radiotopia, from PRX.