Normal Gossip - S1 Ep3: Can I Say Something Bitchy? With Rachelle Hampton

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Rachelle Hampton, host of Slate’s ICYMI podcast, joins us to unravel the scandal brewing in a neighborhood knitting circle! Listen to ICYMI and follow Rachelle on Twitter at @heyydnae. Episode transcript available here. Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney (@mckinneykelsey) and produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs). Subscribe to Defector Media and get your first month for 99 cents at defector.com/normalgossip. 

Hey, Kelsey McKinney here. I'm excited to share that our fellow radio-topia show, The Stoop, is back with a new season. The Stoop is an award-winning podcast that tells stories from across the Black diaspora. Journalists Lila Day and Hana Baba dig deep into Black life through reporting, conversations, and personal storytelling to talk about things

that aren't always shared in the open. I can't wait for their takes on the word auntie or being called out for not being able to speak the languages of your culture. In season nine, there's also a very intimate conversation with the mom and daughter about succession planning. They get into Black psychedelic culture and so much more. The Stoop, it's where you let your guard down

and just get real. Every other Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts, and follow them on Instagram at atthestooppodcast. She's like an emotional friend group terrorist. She parachuted in and set off a bomb and ran. But like, she's also dumb because she didn't even stick around for the fallout. The fallout's the best part.

Like, I wouldn't kill to be in that room. Hi, and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm Kelsey McKinney. In each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. This week, we have staff writer and host of Slate's Internet Culture Podcast.

I see why am I. Rachel Hampton, also my friend. I'm thrilled she's here. Rachel, what are you up to? How do you feel? Hi, I'm so excited to be here. I keep saying this, never been more excited for a podcast than for Normal Gossip

because all I ever want in my life is for you to tell me gossip. Do you consider yourself a gossip? I want to say no, but the truth is yes, I am. I fully just, I'm always like, what do you have to tell me? Do you have any like hot goss? I just, I don't know.

So then why do you say no? If you're like literally like, what's the hot goss? I don't think you can say no. I'm not a gossip. I can't say no. Well, because I'm like, I don't want people to think they can't trust me with their secrets.

I'll keep a secret. But can they? They can. I won't tell anybody that they know. I feel like that's the important thing about a secret. It's just like no one you know will know about this, but like my roommate's gonna know. Like my best friend's gonna know.

You can't have me hold this by myself. That's a lot of pressure. My problem is I feel like if you give me someone else's gossip, everyone I know will know, right? Like if it's gossip that you can't keep the secret, that's not my problem. No, exactly, exactly. I love that kind of gossip where they're just like,

I just have to tell you this and it has nothing to do with me. And I was just like, the way I'm about to spread this like far and wide. What is your preferred method for scattering little gossip seeds into the world? Always in person. Okay.

Always, not like right off the bat. Like I wait till we're like 20, 30 minutes into a hang. And then I'm just like, okay, the vibes are correct. I just want to make sure we don't have anything serious to talk about. And then I'm like, okay, do you want to hear some wild shit? And they're always like, yeah, of course, you don't even have to ask.

And I'm like, great, great, great, great. So here's the story. That's always the best way. If it has to be a phone call, I still wait a little while until the phone calls. Sometimes people want to talk about like their grandma dying. And I don't want to be like my coworker, fuck somebody they shouldn't have.

You know, that's rude. It's rude and it's like hard to pivot back from that into like your serious face. It's like, oh no. Exactly. And I'm like, I can't be in charge of pivots. So I'm just going to wait until I don't think there's going to be a pivot.

So you can just fully pivot the conversation into drama. Yeah, I think that's good. That's a good friend to be, I think. Thank you. I also think of myself as a good friend. It's, I think you are. It's funny because we've had people on here who have said like, they've said like,

oh, some of my friends are Gossips, but not all of them. And I'm like, what? I'm like, what's... What does that mean? Because all of my friends are Gossips because I forced them into it. Oh, that's when you know you're a good Gossip. Is when somebody who normally is not a Gossip,

it starts to become one because they are around you. My roommate's a bit like this, where she has now, since I started living with her, started saying, okay, can I say something bitchy? And I was like, bitch, yes. Like, what do you think I'm here for? And it's because I'm always a bitch in our household. And now she started doing it.

And I love that for myself and for her. That's incredible. I like that she like wants your permission ahead of time. It is very sweet. I'm just like, you don't even have to ask, but I appreciate that you, you're letting me know what's happening. That's incredible.

What was your relationship with Gossip like growing up? Like, did your parents Gossip? Did you have any kind of feeling about it? I feel like part of the reason why I don't know if I consider myself a Gossip is because my mom just always kind of talks about people. Not in like a mean way. Like, I don't consider her like a malicious person,

but she'll tell me that shit that's going on with her friends. And she'll be like, oh, your auntie's doing this or your cousin's doing that. And so I think I have an issue distinguishing between what's Gossip and what's just normal chatter because it all feels the same to me in a way. I'm just like, everyone's business is my business. This is, my mom always jokes that the reason

I became a reporter in the first place is just because I'm nosy as hell. Like, it wasn't like, oh, this is a good career. I was just like, wait, there's an excuse? Yes. To be like, hello, what are you doing? No, exactly. And my mom always said, she said, Rachel can't hold water

because I can't keep a secret, which I think is also why. You're contradicting yourself. You just were like, I can keep one. I keep a secret in a very specific way. Wait. If someone tells me, don't tell anyone, then I won't. But you'll be mad. I will.

Oh, yeah, 100%. I'll be really upset. I'm just like, motherfucker, like, why can't I talk about this? But I think the key to keeping, oh, so I'm sorry. I don't know how much cussing. Oh, we're doing, we're just going to put that little E right at the top of every episode. Great.

I don't know how to not curse. Me neither. I'm just like. We have no chance. I really hope that no one, my mom, isn't listening to this. Mom, don't listen. Turn this off. Don't, because then you'll hear me telling your business.

Wait, I want to go back to something you said. You were like, you said that it's hard for you to distinguish between what's just like normal chatter and what's gossip. How would you draw that line? Or can you? Mm. I mean, in my household, no, I can't distinct.

Like what my mom is telling me versus what I'm like, what exactly are you telling me that I'm not supposed to tell anybody else? Because it all just gets mixed in. OK. In my real life, I feel like there's a vibe with gossip where you can kind of see someone's like demeanor shift when they're telling you something

that maybe is a bit juicy. In what, like, describe it to me. I mean, you describe this like smile that I get when I have gossip. But I feel like most people, when they're telling you gossip, just like, they look like the cat that swallowed the canary. Like, they're so happy to tell you something because they're like, I know something you don't know,

but you're going to know it. And you kind of know how your friend's going to react. That's the best part, where you're like, when you hear something in real life, and you're like, I can't wait to tell this to my best friend because she's going to lose her fucking shit. And that's a smile on their face, where you're just like, you've been waiting to tell me this,

and I'm so honored that you told me this. That's so beautiful. There is like a, to me, there are like levels of gossip. Like, there's like a gossip that I like write the text and then I copy the text and I send it to several people. And then there's like voice memo level, where I'm like talking into my phone really frantically. And then there's like elite gossip,

where I'm like, we need to have drinks today. Yes, no, I agree with that, that distinguishment. The copy-paste text is always fun, because I'm like, oh, I get so many different reactions. So I think the elite gossip is the best gossip. It's the biggest secret. Yeah, yeah, the secret I'm not keeping. I just, I mean, don't tell me anything

if you don't want my best friend to know. I just feel like that's the way I live my life. I think you get, like, even I think if you're like a very strict like gossip is bad person, I think you at least get like two people that it's considered like, well, you guys are, I assumed you were gonna tell them. No, exactly, like I feel like when people,

this is how I know that we live in a society that loves when people are partnered, where I'm like, I feel like if I tell somebody who has like a long-term partner or something, we all assume they're gonna tell them that. And I'm like, my relationship with my best friend is just important, is your relationship with your husband. You know, like I should be able to tell her whatever.

So this is how I feel, where I'm like, if you tell me a secret, just pretend my best friend's my wife. Yeah, also though, like often spouses, they don't get it. They're not as excited. Exactly. Yeah, no, that's the most disappointing is when you tell somebody something you think

is really important and then they're like, I don't understand why you care. And then I'm like, I don't know you. Would you like to hear some gossip about people we don't know? There is nothing I would love more. Incredible. So our like friend of a friend, Sophia, she used to live in like a big city in America.

And during the pandemic, she was like, this sucks. I like wanna have a yard for my dog. I'm like tired of being in this tiny little apartment. And also she's a photographer. So she's like, I'm not making enough money to pay my rent in this apartment. I can't stay here. Sophia's very relatable.

She is. And so during the pandemic, she was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna move to like a commuter town that's like close to the city I live in, but is like known for having a cool art scene. So I'll move there and I'll like make friends there and I can like kind of have a bigger life

because I'll have more disposable income. You're already making a face, what is it? I'm just, you know, I appreciate the sentiment, but also I don't know, whenever I hear like artsy commuter town, I'm like, I feel like you're just trying to replicate the vibes of a big city and a small city. Yeah, no, I don't disagree with you because artsy vibes in small towns are always like,

we have a gallery. Yes, or it just feels manufactured where I'm just like, you made this happen. None of this is organic. And I can tell, you know? Yeah, everything's so new. Yeah, yeah. This is how I feel about like any like,

keep Austin weird and I'm like, yeah, right now. Keep Austin weird as like Tesla moves in. It's like, come on. Exactly, I'm like, you have a whole foods, you can't be weird anymore. Okay, so our friend is moving to a small town, right? Okay. And she's like, I need to make friends,

I need to figure out how to make friends. And she sees like, you know, online somewhere that there's a knitting group in her little town. And she's like, you know what? I learned to knit over the pandemic. I'm not very good, but this could maybe be like a good entry point to making some friends. Okay, I'm seeing, I'm seeing her point.

I'm so glad you're here because all your face is just like, you're already like, I don't like it. I don't think this is good. I just, I don't, this feels, you know, I recognize as an adult, you have to go out and make friends. They don't just come to you. But whenever there's like an organized thing, an organized group, I'm just immediately suspicious.

Why? I don't know. I don't know, it just feels, I mean, I'm a deeply corny person, but there's an edge to earnestness that kind of stresses me out. And I feel like groups, like knitting groups, I'm like, oh, are you gonna be like that kid in the back of the class

who like made weird noises because they thought that they were like a dinosaur or something, you know? I'm sorry if that's rude. Yes, no, I know what you mean. And I think you're not, you're not wrong, right? In this scenario. So, Sophia is like, I'm gonna go to this, I'm gonna go to this event,

but I'm not gonna show up empty-handed, right? It's like rude to show up empty-handed. So she goes to this event and it's at this like big, big house, big house, like gardens, all that shit. Okay. And it's owned by this woman named Laurel. And Laurel is like, you know, she's like, why are you making that face?

We're not gonna get anywhere. Sorry, I'll control my face. This is my mom also, this is about me, I have a bare chest hair face. The name Laurel is just, it's nothing good happens with a woman named Laurel. Yes. So you can imagine,

you can already kind of imagine the type of woman she is. No, exactly. Like I'm, I'm seeing blonde, I'm seeing a large McMansion. Yeah. None of this is making me happy. Yeah. I can't wait to hear what Laurel's gonna do.

So Sophia shows up and she's like, I'm not gonna show up empty-handed cause it's rude. So I've brought a like snack tray, you know? I like went to the store, I got a snack tray and I got a bottle of wine. I'm feeling great. Wow. She like is welcomed into the home.

The person who opens the door is not Laurel. So they're like, oh, Laurel's in the kitchen. Like so nice to meet you. Go meet her. You have all these snacks. So like please go over there. She's like, great. So she goes in there,

she like sets them down. Immediately we have a problem because Laurel is like, oh my God, thank you so much for bringing these. Are these gluten-free? Oh no. Oh no. Are they, they're not gluten-free.

No, of course they're not. No, I mean, why would they be? Yeah. It's a snack tray. Yeah. No. And Laurel's like, oh, it's fine. I'm just gonna like make a little sign really quick

so that people know. She's like, okay. Then she does that thing, but really annoying hostess do where she takes the bottle of wine out of Sophia's hand and she's like, oh my God, this thank you so much for bringing this. I'm just gonna save it for myself later.

What? Because she doesn't want to put her wine out. She wants to control the wine. Oh my God. I just feel like if you have this level of control issues, tell people what to bring, you know? Yeah, I don't disagree with you. Just be like, I only want a 2017 Malbec

and I'll be like, okay, fuck you, I'm bringing nothing. You know? But like, Sophia is there to like, she's being amenable, right? So she's like, okay, first strike against this woman is that she's like being extremely annoying to me, but that's only one strike, so fine. We'll keep going.

And so she like gets into this group and they're all like, you know, they're all knitting and like they're, it's like a big group, right? They're like 20 people at this house. And so she can tell that there are like factions, but she can't tell like who's in which faction. So she's trying to like make friends, right? Yeah.

And immediately they like can tell that she's a novice knitter, which is fine. But they're like, oh my God, let us help you, right? Because people with passion love to help. And so they're like, okay, the first thing you need to do is upgrade your supplies. She's like, they're like, we have them, you can like use ours, we have plenty,

but like you need better needles. And like, why don't you use patterns that are like a little more interesting than the ones you're doing? And Sophia's like, okay, thank you, because she does really want to get better. And these women, unlike Laurel, seem to be helpful. Okay.

But then they're also like, also you cannot be using acrylic wool. Why? Well, their points are good. They're like, well, acrylic wool can melt because it has plastic in it. And because it has plastic in it, the like acrylic wool is just releasing microplastics

into the environment. Oh, okay, that seems bad. It does seem bad, but Sophia's also like, okay, but it's really cheap. Yeah. And like it comes in every color. So like you're making, while I agree with you ethically, this is now a problem for me

because I need to like find new wool and all the yarn in my bag is acrylic, so I cannot use this. Yeah, yeah. Also, semi inaccessible, like what if I just don't have money to be spending on fancy wool, you know? Right.

The good thing about this group is that they're like wealthy enough that they're just like giving things, you know? So she's like, this is kind of fine, right? Like I have these new needles. I'm getting wool, like this seems okay. I like it here, right? She's like, do I not like Laurel?

Yeah. Am I gonna try to make it work? I am. As she's there, she realizes that they're doing a lot more than not using acrylic wool. Oh. These women are like sourcing wool from like the nearby farms, from sheep.

They're like obtaining sheep, whatever. And they're like turning it into yarn and hand dyeing it. Oh my, whoa. Oh, they got the little, like, I've seen the loom. Like, I get it. The loom and there's like a crank thing that you can like put the little,

like I don't even know what this stuff is called, but it's like you're putting the wool on there and it like is mixing it up. Yeah. Spindle. It's called a spindle. I realize also we're both just making hand motions on a podcast, so we're just like,

Thank you. You know, famously an audio medium. I think we're doing a lot of good work. We're doing phenomenal. They can see exactly what we're doing. I know. Okay, so they have, yeah, yeah. Wow.

Okay. They're like in it. They're not just hobbyists at this point. This is not a casual thing for them. Right. That's what Sophia is figuring out, but she can tell that there are some people who like aren't as invested as other people.

So she's like, I think there might still be room for me here because like I probably don't need to get that invested. And also these women have taught me a lot of cool shit about wool. Now I will teach you what she has learned is that the fibers, like the wool fibers are coated in something called lanolin, which is like wax from the sheep.

And so it's water repellent and it like helps keep the fibers clean. So that's why you don't have to wash wool sweaters as much. That's why they always seem clean, which I thought was just some magic that I was doing in the winter, but turns out is a chemical science. I just thought I was wearing dirty clothes.

I was like, I'm not washing. Yeah, yeah, you're like, whatever. It's a wool, I can't, I don't know, whatever. It'll be fine. Cool, wow. I feel like I've heard of lanolin and I can't remember why, but... Because it's in a lot of beauty products

and we're gonna get there. Okay, wow. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay, so she's like, this is great. You know, I feel like I'm getting along with people.

She like goes back to her house and she's like doing more knitting now and she's feeling like really inspired and she's in this group text. And so she's like getting little, you know, people are like sending her patterns. She's like learning. She's like, okay, this is great.

I'm doing something with my hands, which feels good. Yeah. And like a couple of the people I'm starting to like, great. So she goes back the next time to this group. It's been like a month and she's feeling a little more comfortable. She doesn't bring anything this time because she's like, if Laurel wants to critique me,

she can just... Yeah, she can suck it. Yeah, exactly. And so our friend shows up and she's like, you know, she's in the group, she's having a good time. And she's like, my lips are really chapped, right? And so she pulls out chapstick, right? She pulls out like a car max out of her bag.

And she's like, okay, I'll just like, she's just using it, right? And Laurel is like, she's like, oh, do you want me to get you like, she doesn't say a better chapstick, but that's what she means. That's the undertone. And she's like, you know,

I have one made of lanolin, the same stuff that's in the wool, and it's really nice and you can have it. And so she like goes and gets it and she gives it to our friend. And Sophia is like, okay, to be honest, this chapstick slaps and I'm thrilled to have it for free. Sick.

And so she admits, after like an hour of like holding her little tongue and being like, I'm not gonna say anything, she finally is like, you know what, this is a really nice chapstick. Thank you so much. Like please drop a link girl. Like I want to buy it.

Yeah. And Laurel's like, yeah, you know, I just like, it's really important to me that I know exactly what goes into my body. And I want to make sure that everything I'm using comes from the earth. Oh God. I mean, her name is Laurel,

so this all makes sense to me. Knowing the timeline of this, that this happened spring of this year. Are there any questions that you have? Oh, oh, Ms. Mam's an anti-vaxxer. I can already feel it. I can feel it brewing in my, like it's just there. So if he was like, hmm, what's going on here?

And also like, I'm in this woman's house. Oh God, I forgot about that part. Right? So at this point, what should she do? See, I am very blunt. And so I would just be like, that's interesting. How do you feel about vaccines? That's interesting.

What's your stance on ivermectin? No, like I would just be like, listen. I mean, or I would make it funny. Like I would be like, oh, I'm actually really bad at pronouncing most things. Like, could I pronounce the scientific name for aloe vera? No. So, you know, I feel like we should just like trust science

and like see how that went over, you know? Yeah, kind of like lead her into a little trap. Exactly, exactly. After what she confesses to you, what we assume she's an anti-vaxxer. Yeah, she's an anti-vaxxer, okay. Okay, so Sophia does not do this because she, you know, to be honest,

she's a better person than us. And so she's like, you know what, it's, it's none of my business. I mean, you're in her, it kind of is. Okay, yeah, I agree. I think it's her business. Yeah. But sadly, I'm not in charge here.

So she's like, I'm not gonna, it'll be fine. Like I'll ask around and see if I can figure it out. But she's like, you know what, I'm vaccinated. I know that most of the women in this group are vaccinated just from the way they've talked. So like the risk seems mainly to Laurel in this situation. I mean, I'm just like, we've heard of breakthrough cases.

Like is the risk mainly to Laurel at this point? I mean, I guess in like spring 2021, we're all like, I'm vaccinated, I'm fine. And now we're all just like Delta. Yeah, that was when we all thought we were invincible. Yes, I miss that time. Same. So she's like, okay, this is fine.

Like whatever. So now this month's is over. This is like months, knitting groups. It's been like three months at this point, right? We've skipped forward a couple of weeks in time. And suddenly something happens. Is it Delta? No.

So it is viral though. So Fia logs into her Instagram and Laurel has gone like mega-vi. For what? For, thank you so much for asking. You're gonna love this. I'm so excited. It's like for these like four inch knitted squares

Uh-huh. That say male tears on them. Oh my God. It's like the key chain that says fuck the patriarchy on it. Yes. It's like, you know, third way feminists in the bad way. Yeah. I mean, capitalism as a political party.

Yes, no, it's like, if I have this phone case that says male tears on it, then I am a feminist. I am phytic. Oh my God. So has she gone viral in a positive way? As in people are like, oh my God, I want this or she gone viral in the way where I presume if we saw it on our Twitter feeds,

we will be like, what the fuck? So this is the big problem is that she's gone viral in the positive way. And so Fia is like, she's like, I think these are shit. And like, she's like, I don't know if I can tell anyone in the knitting group that I think they're shit because everyone is like,

because the dynamics are still not clear to me. And also like, everyone seems to love her. See, this is where Sophia is going incorrect. What you always do in a group is you split off someone who is not the queen bee and you suss them out. And then you try, you need to figure out the alliances as quickly as possible or else you're just flying blind. She needs to be more of a gossip.

Yes, I completely agree with you, but I think that's because you and I are nosy. Like I think our inclination is to be like, I need to know what everyone does in this room. And I need to know who's cheating on their husband. No, same. And I need to know who is your person in this group that you're going to share secrets with.

And I need to know that yesterday. No, exactly. I'm going in like the potential of a new group is not like new friends, it's new gossip. Like, Sophia, girl. She's got it. She needs to get it together, but. She needs to get it together.

She can't. So she doesn't talk to anyone. Does she ask anyone in the group how they feel about it? She like tries to feel it out, but you know how these situations are where like someone is the queen bee and something good happens to them and everyone's like, I'm just so happy for her.

And there's like maybe something behind that, but it's dangerous to be like, do you think that these are absolute shit like me? Yeah. No, no, she needs to, sussing out can't be over-tugged. She has to go get somebody drunk. I know, she doesn't.

So the next like group meeting is like a week after this because they're every month and she's gone viral. And Sophia is like, I'm going to like feel it out, but everyone seems like happy for her and everyone's like, yay, Laurel. We love Laurel. And Sophia is like, I hate this bitch. But she's like, whatever, the group she's made is nice.

I keep getting free shit. It's fine. They're like sitting around doing their little knitting and Laurel like in the group is like, oh my God, Sophia, isn't your sister an influencer? And Sophia is like, yes, but I did not tell you this. I have never said anything about this in this group. How does Laurel?

Because Laurel is a climber. Like she's one of those people. And so she's like, in front of everyone, she's like, would you want to send one of these like coasters to your sister? Oh my God. Honestly, Laurel is playing 4D chess. And I have to say this is what happens

when you're up against someone playing 4D chess. You have to play 5D chess. But Sophia didn't even know there was a chess game, which is part of the problem, right? If you walk into a person's house and they take your bottle of wine and say, no, I don't want this in the most polite way possible, we are playing chess, not checkers.

You know, like, you're not wrong. I don't know what to tell you. So she's like, but now it's like, what is she going to fucking do? Not send it to her sister? She could. That's what I would do. But Sophia is like, she's like, you know what?

I'm not going to say I'm not going to send them to my sister. She was like, I'd be happy to ask my sister if she wanted them. Is that fine? That's diplomatic. Very diplomatic. And Laurel's like, sure, sure, sure. I'll send you home with some and you can just ask her. And Sophia's like, oh, Jesus, OK, fine.

So she goes home and they're like in a little box, right? She calls her sister and she's like, do you want these? And her sister is like much more basic. So her sister is like, please, I love them. Please send them over. Oh, god. This is, in my opinion, a big mistake. She should have never asked.

Oh, no, she should have lied. She should have been like, actually, my sister doesn't do politics, so she doesn't want this. Actually, my sister drinks male tears as part of her diet. So this is offensive to her. Actually, they got lost in the mail. I'm so sorry. The USPS, you know, we really supply chain issues.

You know, we have issues here. There are so many excuses just right there. Sophia. Honestly, I was on, I came in and I was like, Laurel is clearly the person and the wrong here, but I really feel like Sophia is making mistakes. Sophia is hustling backwards. She really is.

But she's like, OK, I'm going to send these to my sister, but Laurel gave these to me in this big box and it has decorations and shit. And this seems like it's going to be expensive to send. And these are coasters, so I'm just going to shove them into an envelope and send them that way. That's smart. Yeah.

And she takes them out and she's holding one in her hand. And she's like, this isn't wool. Is it acrylic wool? It's acrylic wool. I got so excited. I'm so sorry if I blew anybody's eardrums out. But oh my god, it's acrylic wool. It's acrylic wool.

Like, you know, you can feel the hypocrites. Oh my god. This is thrilling. So she's like, well, what do I do with this information? Like, how? Oh my god. And now it is your turn. What is your next move?

OK, OK. Again, I'm blunt and I'm also petty. So what I would do is she went viral, right, on Instagram. What I would do is I would make an anonymous Instagram page and then comment on the viral posts and say, I bought these and they're acrylic. What's wrong with you? And I would just keep doing that until it blew up.

Something I should have mentioned earlier that I did not is that the fact that these are made with handmade wool from the sheep in the neighborhood is a big selling point. No, exactly. That's why you have no. I would have, yeah, anonymous Instagram page all the way. I love that, not Sophia.

Sophia, because then no one see my. This is why if I was the anonymous person submitting this stuff, I would be on top of all of it. Right. So that's what's funny is like all of these gossips we get are submitted from someone else. So they're always like my dumb ass friend. Oh, OK.

Not doing anything. Great, great, great. I love that someone is like, oh, my friend Sophia is really. She's fumbling the bag. She is. So the question was, do you dox her, essentially? And your answer is yes via fake Instagram page. Oh, yeah.

Sophia does not. What does Sophia do? She is like, well, maybe just the ones she gave my sister because they're free are acrylic cool. No. Then she gets an email from Laurel. This is like two weeks later. She sends them to her sister, her dumb ass sister,

like post them on Instagram, annoying. So now she's. Free advertising? I know. In this economy? I know. So now she's like in Laurel's favor, right? OK.

Well, OK. Yeah. So she gets this email that's only to some of the women in the knitting group. And the email is like, hi, the demand is skyrocketing for my male tears coasters. And I need help with production, essentially, with packaging and doing the labels

and making the little cards and all this extra stuff. So if you guys come over, I'll cater this really nice dinner for us. And it'll have all this fancy wine. And also, I'll give you a little present. Here's your next question. Do you go? Yes, because I'm a nosy petty bitch and I love drama.

Yes, I would 100% go. Even though I would have made different choices up until that point, I would think I'm assuming Sophie is going to go. And this is the only place I agree with her. She does. Yes, good. As she should.

She goes. Yeah. And she's like, you know, this is great. I'm going to get my fancy dinner. I'm going to whatever Laurel has great taste. Like whatever you say about Laurel, she's got good taste. We can't fault her for taste. I mean, again, I think Laurel's a genius at this point.

She's terrifying. Yeah, a genius. Yes. So if he goes over there and she's like, you know, doing all these like tedious things, like taping the boxes and like printing the little cards and writing people's names in nice script, you know, all of that.

And she's like, you know, I've been here for a couple hours. I'm like, I just need to go to the restroom, right? She goes to the like restroom really close to the living room and somebody is like already in it. So she's like, OK, I'll go to the other one. Because of course this house has like multiple downstairs bathrooms, the luxury. And so she goes on the hall and as she gets to the second

bathroom, she sees that the like door to Laurel's studio is open. Does she go in? So she goes in. She's like, you know what? I have reason to believe that I need to go in here. The first smart decision Sophia has made thus far. I support her.

Proud of her. She finally. We're back on Sophia's side. She decided to be nosy. She's doing it right. And she goes in there and what does she find but laundry baskets of acrylic wool with like the Joanne's label around them?

Does she take a photo? Yes. Yes. So now this is the last time I'm going to ask you what she should do. You're in the house. You have not been fed your luxurious dinner yet. Oh.

You have a photo of the fake wool on your phone. What is your move? Oh, I continue on as if nothing has happened because I want the free food. Like Laurel has great taste. Laurel is clearly rich. I'm going to take the free food. I'm going to take the free food, do my little labels,

continue on, and then once again, make my anonymous Instagram account with the photo. And that is what I would do. So she does stay for dinner. Good. She stays for dinner. She's like delicious, loved it, incredible, iconic, my favorite dinner of all time.

She doesn't make an anonymous Instagram account. But she does go home and log on to a site called Ravelry. Oh, yeah. Which is, oh, you know about Ravelry? I do. Actually, my friend knit me a sweater. And so she was sending me where to get, she was like, here's the link to the wool, like a color.

So I am aware of Ravelry. OK, so you know that it's like a fancy knitting site? Yes. OK, so Ravelry also has forums. Oh, yes. We love an internet, I mean, we don't love an internet forum because they're toxic, but this is perfect. So Sophia goes onto the internet forum

and she creates her little fake name. Yes. And she posts the photo. Yay. OK, what happens? I need to know what, this is delicious. Well, here's the problem that she had not thought through. Laurel is obviously going to know that it

was someone in the knitting circle because she took the photo inside Laurel's house. Well, yeah, of course. You just have to have pause but a liability. Yes. So Laurel gets universally canceled by the knitting community. They're all like, she's a fake.

We hate her. She's a fraud. She's using acrylic wool. She said it was handmade from the sheep in Peru. They're like, this bitch is posting Instagram reels of a spindle making wool and she's out here using Joanne's acrylic wool. Oh my god.

Wow. So your last question is two weeks after Laurel is canceled, she gets the email for the next month's knitting club. Oh, Sophia does. Do you go? Yes. Yes, I need to have to think about it. Of course, because the thing is, even if Laurel knows

that it's me, what do I have to lose? I just moved here. I can just make another community. I've only known these bitches for four months. This is not my problem. But also, if you go, you can just sew the seeds of doubt. You'll be like, why would I do that? I don't know you all.

Oh, no, this is my perfect setting. I wouldn't be so excited to go to this of it. Because you would find a way to cast the play month to someone else. Oh, yes. This is what I'm made for. Yeah. Sophia is not as strategic.

So what she does is she says, no, I will not be going, which immediately makes her the villain. Well, that's worth. No, exactly. That makes it worth. Like, if you're the only one who doesn't show up, then it's immediately clear that you're the one who leaked it. Yeah.

So Sophia is like, you know, I'm not going back. And also, it seems like the pandemic is clearing up. I'm going to move back to the city. I don't need to be here. She just truly is like peace. I'm bailing by. Oh, my god. I mean, on some level, that is iconic.

She moved to this small town for four months, just blew up their local knitting community, and then pieced out. I kind of love that. Yeah, she is like an emotional friend group terrorist. She like parachuted in and set off a bomb and ran. But like, she's also dumb because she didn't even stick around for the fallout.

The fallout's the best part. Like, I would kill to be in that room. Yes, to be in the room where, like, everyone else is within a knitting circle, except for Sophia, who was one of the, like, six people there. Yes, yes. I just, she made a mistake. She should have been there.

Because the way they would have been all accusing each other, that's beautiful. When do you get the chance to see that in real life? Rare. Rare. And that's our story. That's what we have for you today, Rachel. Kelsey, that was the most beautiful story I've ever heard.

Like, I'm going to go tell this story to so many people. You have to. That's the beauty. Wow, it really had some, like, it had vaccines. It had pandemic drama. It had knitting. It had Instagram. It had an internet forum.

Like, you really, you told the perfect story for me. Sometimes you're just blessed. I, you've blessed me. Where can our listeners find you? They can find me on. Where would you like to be found? Not at my home, please. Don't come here.

I will kick you out. But you can find me on Wednesdays and Saturdays hosting Slate's Internet Culture podcast. In case you missed it, I see why am I. Or on Twitter, heydenay, h-u-i-y, d-n-a-e. I'm mostly sad tweeting. If you want to follow that, hit me up. Thanks so much for coming on the show.

This was a blessing. Oh my god, thank you for having me. I'm really, I'm giddy right now. Like, this was so good. Of course. Thanks so much for listening to Normal Gossip. If you disagreed with our takes or have a gossip story to share, please email us at normalgossipatdefector.com.

Or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679gossip. You can follow me on all social media at at McKinney-Kilsey. And you can follow the podcast on Instagram at atnormalgossip. This podcast was produced by Alex Sujan Loefflin. Thank you to Projects Editor Justin Ellis and Editor-in-Chief Tom Lay and the rest of the Defector staff. And thank you to Alex for sharing this gossip story with us.

Defector Media is a collectively-owned subscriber-based media company. If you love this podcast and want to support us, subscribe to Defector at defector.com. I'm Kelsey McKinney. And remember, you did not hear this from me.