Normal Gossip - S1 Ep5: Leave ‘em a Little Bit Broke, a Little Bit Mad with Laci Mosley

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

THE Scam Goddess, Laci Mosley, joins us in an adventure to the South where a group of sorority sisters teach us the first rule of Gossip Fight Club: never text your mess. Follow Laci on Twitter @DivaLaci and subscribe to Scam Goddess! Episode transcript available here. Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney (@mckinneykelsey) and produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs). Subscribe to Defector Media and get your first month for 99 cents at defector.com/normalgossip. 

Alex, do you think that we should tell them our little secret? I think we should. Our secret is that we are going on tour this summer. Woo! We're going to be sharing a new gossip story with you all, but this time live on a stage. There will be special guests and glow sticks and games. It's going to be so messy. You can get tickets at normalgossiplive.com.

And bring your secrets. Because we're going to read them. If you're going to be a narcissist, at least have hands. Like, you can't be a punk ass and then want to be mad. Hi, and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm Kelsey McKinney. In each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Today I have with me Lacey Mosley, actor, comedian, and host of the Scam Goddess podcast.

She's also in season two of I, Carly, which is now streaming on Paramount+. Lacey, hello, what's up? Woo, Chad! I'm good. I literally ran in here from, well, the nail salon, but before that I was at the gun range. I was going to say your nails look incredible. And knowing that you've been at the gun range, I was like, how did you manage this? I got them done after.

You know, go get the powder off my hands, you know. As one does. As one does. But yeah, I'm good. How are you, Kelsey? I'm good. You know, just excited to do a little gossiping on this Friday afternoon. I think we're going to have some fun.

Yes. We, at Normal Gossip, are big fans of the Scam Goddess podcast. And we're always, Alex and I, the producer, are always getting in trouble because we are like, oh, this is perfect. We'll listen to it at the gym. And then it's like you're midway through a squat, like trying not to laugh. So we do blame you for that. I'm so sorry.

That could be a dangerous situation. Thank you. There's even some cuties around. Don't mess around and fart. Do you have to blame it on somebody? Lacey, tell me, what's your relationship with gossip? My relationship with gossip is I firmly subscribe to the very popular phrase, if you don't have anything nice to say, then come sit by me so we can talk.

You and me both. There's nothing worse than when you're trying to spill some tea or you're trying to be like, this bitch. And then the person you're talking to is like, well, I think they're really nice or, oh, you shouldn't be that way. I'm like, can you please be negative with me? The fun. All right.

Anyways, I'm leaving. Like, I'm not like negative all the time. But if I want to spill some tea or if I have some gossip, like, come on now, get into the cheese man. Yeah. What's the point in talking to people if they're not going to play with you? Right. What are you even doing here?

Also, when people do the holier than thou thing, I'm like, you got something to hide. You telling me you a whole thing you don't ever talk about. You don't ever fix your lips to talk about. Everybody like, okay. I'm also like, am I on your list? Right? Like, if you're telling me, like, oh, I'm not going to shit talk with you, I'm like, is that because you've aligned with everyone else against me?

Yes. I go there too. Because I'm like, if you're not going to give some tea as well, then I think you're the bone carrier. You're just going to hear what I have to say and then you can go share the business. The bone carrier. So we call it the housewives of Atlanta, the bone carrier. Like, you just overheard the bone collector.

Just overheard bringing all the bones. Did you, like, grow up with any associations with gossip? Like, what was your family relationship like with it? Oh, yeah. My family loves to gossip. Their favorite thing to do. Honestly, low-key destroyed many relationships because they love to gossip. And it's like, the rumor mill in my family, because it's such a large family, shit takes

so long to get to everybody that by the time you get it, like, telephone, that shit is so distorted. You're like, what? And do you, like, do you confirm? Like, how do you deal with a gossip that's gone through that many telephones in your own family? Because you're going to have to see these people, right? Yeah.

You have to kind of reroute to the source or get the two people who are being gossiped about in the same room to get the real story. Because there was a time that I'm not going to be specific because people would be in my business. But a family member of mine accused another family member of trying to set up her husband with another woman. Oh, no. And this was simply not true.

It was that the family member had a homegirl who had two extra tickets to a Cowboys game. Oh. And the, you know, family member who didn't do anything wrong was like, oh, do you want to go with me to this game? And my homegirl guy has two extra tickets because I know you're a huge Cowboys fan. So they all go to the game and somehow this gets misconstrued. Mind you, the wife and the family member who invited the husband have been friends for as long as I've been alive and related by marriage.

Oh, my God. And it didn't even matter. The wife didn't call the other family member. The wife didn't even, like, ask. Like, they just let it run around the mill until it got to basically, like, this person was trying to hook these people up and I don't know, be a cuckold for family. I feel bad for the person who gave him these tickets. Like, those are, like, Cowboys tickets are expensive.

So I assumed this person was like, oh, I'm doing this fun thing. We're all just going to go to the Cowboys game and now you created a massive tsunami of drama. I also think that the family member who got the ticket who loves Cowboys must have been doing something in his phone and then when the wife saw immediately scape go to the other family member and was like, oh. And it wasn't the friend who the Trifling family member was speaking with. I think he was just trying to be like, look over there. It was them.

Right. And it worked. How many layers of people did this go through before you got it? Oh, it took years. It's crazy. It took years until one of my cousins gave me the tea and then I gave the family member the tea of why they hadn't been speaking to the wife. Because they were like, I haven't talked to the wife in forever and I don't understand

what's going on. I know the wife. The wife is also a Facebook conspiracy theorist. Like, damn, you're a little foil. So it's like, oh, maybe she's this person's just off the grid. Not having an idea of what happened. She's just off the grid. And so my cousin told me now this is what I heard from my other cousin.

And I was like, oh, damn. And then I told the family member who had invited the other ones to the Cowboys game. And then we're like, what? This is, I think it's so jealous of this because my family is like super small and also none of the drama is fun. Right. Like it's like we, I have like four cousins total. Oh girl.

I got the good drama on both sides. Tyler Perry could never. Yeah. So see, I want to go to your family reunion because my family reunion is just like a sad dinner, like 10 people. Right. Like there's no good drama. I'm not getting any telephone calls.

Oh no. Every family reunion that we've ever had, there's always a relative who shows up and they're like, Hey, y'all, this is your cousin. And we're like, every time we do this. One thing we've been telling you a lot about on this podcast is like some people have a really specific definition between gossip and being a gossip. Do you have this line? Yes.

I am not a gossip. Okay. My friend. Even though you're like, come over and sit by me and tell me. And tell me, but I'm likely to either forget or it's going to be something so far removed from me or if it's close to me. Okay. You know what?

I'll say I am a gossip, but I'm not gossipy. I'm not messy. So if you tell me some tea, then I'm not going to tell anybody that it would get back to you with. Yeah. If you give me some tea, I'm going to call my best friend JoJo in Jersey who has no affiliation with people in Los Angeles and I'm like, JoJo girl, let me tell you what I heard today. But I'm not going to talk to anybody in our circles.

I'm not going to allow your business or your mess to reach people that it actually could affect you by, you know, you have to have a good gossip friend who's completely removed from all aspects of your immediate life. Yes. For me, that person is my sister. I'm like, I'm like, girl, I got, I've got some information. I've got some information for you. You live in a totally different part of the country.

You have no idea who these people are. Let me catch you up. Like we're going through it all. We all need an outlet for gossip. It's just when you're a messy gossip, then you're telling everybody who will listen. You're like, Hey, since you got ears, oh, you do American Sign. Hold on. I still got you.

Like, I feel like messy gossips learn several languages so that they can't tell any and everybody knows what they mean. Would you like to hear some gossip? I would love to hear some gossip. Low stakes, high drama. Yes. Okay. Here we go.

We're going to, I'm going to set a scene first. You're going to either love it or hate it, possibly both. Okay. Set the stage. Okay. Very Shakespearean. Okay. So what we have are 15 sorority sisters.

So one of the weird sorority traditions that this one has is that when you are in your little pledge class, you get a like silk handkerchief, right? There's like nice big handkerchief and then it's just one per pledge class and then because sororities are often, you know, obsessed with the idea of heterosexual marriage, whenever you get married and obviously don't keep your name, your new initials get embroidered onto the handkerchief. Oh no. Yeah.

Go ahead. This is such a gaslighty thing because then it's like, you know, when sororities are really focused on getting married and stuff, that becomes a competition. You know, you try to get your MRS. So now y'all looking at the silk cloth like, oh, well, I just sold my name. No, no. Yeah. So that's exactly where this is going as you've envisioned.

The handkerchief is very important and it's like important enough that like at some point someone got divorced and they like took it to a professional to have her initials like unstitched. That's petty. Mm hmm. Petty as hell. These girls are like upset. They love all their like little sister, quote unquote sister traditions, right?

Which is cute, I guess. But because they're from a big southern university, most of them got married like right out of school. So they were like, oh, I got my BA. I also got this MRS degree immediately. My initials are growing on the handkerchief. I'm done. And because they had this like weird connectedness and kind of like very close group, they were

all in each other's weddings. Oh, and it's 15 of them. 15 of them. Are you kidding me? That's a lot of weddings to go to and weddings. They're not cheap. Here's my thing about weddings. If you want to ball out with your wedding, have a go fund me.

Yes. Get on Instagram. Start begging with your cash app. I don't know. Pick up a side hustle. Drive for Uber Eats. But don't you fucking dare have no damn wedding where I got to be a bridesmaid. And you're like, okay, so we all get matching swimsuits.

Mm hmm. We all got to pay for your bridesmaid dresses. Everybody got to be in a Jimmy Choo heel. Like don't try to ball out on my fucking dime. Don't try to have, we having a bachelor red party. Y'all got money for bottle service? Wonderful. Like don't try to ball out on my dime.

If you're broke, let's go to the courthouses and I will get a smooth Zara number for you and we can clap it up. Throw some roses at your feet, bitch. Don't try to be rich on my money. Sorry. Obviously that comes from a very personal space. I agree with you. I have bought too many very unflattering taffeta dresses in my day to ever allow bridesmaid

experience to come for me and my family again. I'm just saying, if you live in an apartment and the stairs to the apartment are outside, don't register at Tiffany's. Like just know you're lame. None of these girls know they're lame. Okay, so there are 15 of them. 13 of them get married within like the first three years out of college. Just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Immediately. So the two girls that are left, as you can imagine, bond. Because they're like, we've had to be in 13 weddings. Our initials are not on the handkerchief, which now only has like a two inch by two inch space left for us. We're like, you know, we're going to bitch together because we're the ones that are like left. Yes. Right. Before we continue this, can I, I'm going to steal from you what you do.

Can I have a name for our main character? Absolutely. Her name is absolutely going to be. Her name is Amanda. Amanda. Incredible name. Okay. So we have Amanda, who is our main character.

And then we have another, the other last girl who's left is named Meredith. Okay. So it's the two of them. They've become very close. They're the last ones to get married, whatever. They go for about five years and Amanda gets a boyfriend in the fall of 2018. She's like, I really like my boyfriend. We're taking it slow.

How dare she? A little bit. How dare she? But she's like, you know what? I'm not, I'm going to be really careful not to like hurt Meredith's feelings. Right. I want to try and like make sure that our friendship is maintained. This obviously does not really work because every time she sees Meredith, it becomes like

more and more awkward. And Amanda tells herself, she's like, Oh, well, she's just like a little jealous. But the way that relationships work and time works, eventually she'll have a boyfriend too and it'll balance out. No. I am on Meredith's side so far because Amanda, we all know what happens when you commiserate and we show single bitch and y'all like, man, fuck these men, fuck Hinge. I'm tired of getting all bumbling and having to come up with a prop and start the conversation.

I'm sick of this shit. Y'all at the bar, y'all doing shots, y'all going out. Now all of a sudden, Amanda, she can only go to dinner at six o'clock. And then when Meredith wants to go hit a bar, try to meet people, she's like, well, I have to get home to Jake because like, we have to cuddle every single night and I can't be away from him. Yes. So Meredith is miserable.

Amanda thinks that she's like, I just think this is her problem. Wow. I don't think this is like, I think she'll come around. I think it'll work out. I think we can still be close. Amanda said, put your oxygen mask on first. And you maybe take care of your neighbor. Sure did.

So they started dating, Amanda and her boyfriend started dating like the fall of 2018. In January of 2021, Meredith starts dating someone. Okay. She's in a game. As you know, as she's in a game, as you know, in the South, the pandemic like rules don't really exist. And so like they were just, you know, they're living their lives as normal, exactly. And this boy that Meredith meets is like on their first date at dinner.

I think that you and me are predestined to be together. Murderer. Terrifying. So Amanda is like, I don't like it. I think he's shady. This is like got cult vibes to me. And this, she can't say this to Meredith, right? Because Meredith is like already mad at her for the three years that she's been in this

relationship and like ruining their friendship. And Meredith is also like, I'm happy. Three years and Amanda doesn't have a ring. I thought we were moving at sorority speed. Amanda girl, you might be one of many. Yes. Good thought. So we're going to keep going.

Amanda doesn't feel like great about the fact that Meredith is dating this guy, but also it seems like their like relationship is improving hers and Meredith's. And so she's like, things are getting better. We're like, in each other's lives again, we now get to have these like kind of boring drinks at an earlier hour. Like you were saying, we get to go to dinner and like split the tab, right? Whatever. Things get better enough by the spring of 2021 that she calls Meredith when her boyfriend

tells her that he's going to take her home to meet his parents. Okay. And Meredith is like, I'm so happy for you. This is great. You're going to meet them. Everything's coming up. Amanda, right? She goes with her boyfriend to the like 40th wedding anniversary of his beautiful, rich

parents, right? Okay. So maybe he's waiting because he's like, I want to get married for life. Maybe. Yes. And I think it's important that to remember that like in the middle of them dating would have been the pandemic, right? So there's like a year when like you're not going to get engaged or get married because

nobody's going to come, right? Or it will just be drama and like get canceled or whatever. So they go up there. It's fine. It's like pretty uptight. They're like Ivy League people, you know, like pearls and shit, like all of that stuff. And so Amanda's not like making a lot of inroads, but she's like doing her best. She comes home with a bunch of gossip and she's like, I can't wait to see Meredith.

I'm going to tell her everything. She meets Meredith for drinks when she gets back and she's like, she arrives and Meredith has already ordered champagne for them to the table. Oh, and Amanda's like, Amanda's like, Oh my God. She just can't wait to hear about my trip. And so Amanda's telling her all this, all this garbage, right? About like how her potential future mother-in-law is like a little, um, avoidant of her, how her like futures.

I have to talk. Yes. Go ahead. I have to talk for one second because if I show up and the homegirl, you know, it's at a crisp 430 because that's when y'all are meeting now. And the homegirl has a bottle of champagne. My first question is, what are we celebrating? Like Amanda, sit down and start thinking this is about you.

Amanda, the narcissism is jumping out. Like you got the champagne was so you could spill tea since we don't get champagne for tea. We get martinis for tea. Yes. And you don't get like the bucket, like the ice cream celebration and women don't just buy shampoo. Well, I do, but most, if there's, if there's sorority women, you know, they're not just

popping out a whole bottle, a whole bottle on their own. There's no man in sight. Nobody else is purchasing it for shits of giggles, especially down at a restaurant where champagne bottles are like super upcharged. Mm-hmm. Like y'all can do that at the crib. Oh, then if you see some champagne and some orange juice, you're like, yeah, let's spill the tea.

But we're a restaurant and they don't mark that champagne up. They don't mark that damn Lamarca. They don't mark Lamarca. 500%. 500%. Yeah. We're cheers-ing. Yeah.

So continue. What are we cheers-ing? But Amanda, you know. She's just talking, talking, talking, right? And Meredith is just sitting there the whole time. And she's, Amanda's like, you know, I don't think she's really paying attention to me. Like I don't think she's like listening. And so she's like, you're being weird, right?

Like why aren't you listening? And Meredith is like, I'm being weird because I have something to tell you. And she raises her left hand flat up. Wow. So she's been sitting with her left hand in between her Gucci, like just letting it get warm. The whole time she's, she, she's eating with one hand. Exactly.

She's drinking with one hand. Amanda hasn't noticed. Exactly. Amanda hasn't noticed. And Meredith is like, I'm engaged. Wow. Meredith's been with this guy for six months. I mean, look, like Sex and the City said, men are like cabs.

When the light is on, the light is on. And they're like, you, you're the one. Let's procreate. Exactly. So his light was on. They were predestined. She's engaged. And Amanda, to her credit, is thrilled.

She's like, you know, I've known you, I've known you forever. This is something you've always wanted. I'm like, so happy for you. Right? She's like, tell me the story. Right? So Meredith tells you the whole story. It's giving congrats.

It's not giving congratulations. It's giving congrats. Exactly. Yes. But she like, you know, she's like, tell me the whole story. Show me the photos. Do the whole thing. Like walk me through it.

And so Meredith does, but during this time of her like telling this long engagement story, there's like three more glasses of champagne, right? And this is Amanda. Both of them. Okay. So the real deal is about to come out, the drunk man sober thoughts. So Meredith, our newly engaged friend, leans across the table and she's like, she puts her, you know, she puts her little hands on Amanda's hands and she's like, I know it's

a little weird that I got engaged first. Oh, Meredith. But I hope you won't hold it against me. Meredith, you were actually, you were on the winning team. You just as bad as Amanda. That's why y'all friends, because both of y'all ain't shit. Like, how dare you? You know, she was already telling you that she went home and the Smithers or the Roosevelt

or whoever the fuck, her boyfriend of three years. Right. The Vanderbilt's were mean to her. She told you she got gossip girl, but she was dying. Like, why would you say that? Why would you say it? Exactly. You know, you are now the loneliest bitch.

And I'm getting my initial stitch into that handkerchief and I can't lie, girl, I'm going to make them big. So you really not going to have a lot of room if you ever get chose. How dare she? That's fine words. Amanda, you got to take that bottle and flip it upside down and break it. So Amanda does that essentially with words. She's like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Like, I do want to get married, but like, I'm not in as big of a rush as you. Like we've been in this relationship for three years. Like in her head, she's like, I think it's really stupid to get engaged after six months. Like, but whatever, do whatever you want. And Meredith is like, you know, I don't want to fight with you. And she pulls out one of those boxes, you know, these boxes, they're like shiny Southern girls have them. She opens it and it's like a bridesmaid proposal box.

Wow. You know what I'm talking about? How do you not assault me and then give me this fucking present? What a bitch. Well, not kind of bitch. Chaos. Complete chaos. So Meredith's like, I'm so sorry.

Like I don't want to fight. Will you please just like be a bridesmaid of my wedding with all of our 14 other friends. Amanda is like, you know what? Yeah, of course I'll be in your wedding. Like we've been close pals for the past few past many years. We've done a lot of like bitching and moaning together. Of course I want to be up there with you. Some time goes by two months before the wedding, they go to a bachelorette weekend.

Where do you think they go to the bachelorette weekend? Okay. Top three. I'm going to go Vegas, Tulum, no, they're not giving, I don't know if they're giving Tulum energy, but I'm going to leave it in there. And then I'm going to go, mmm, go Miami. They go to Nashville. Oh, what the hell?

Way worse. Okay, I was wrong. I was using the wrong demographic. I should have said Nashville, Austin or Palm Springs. I mean both of those all, but all of those choices are correct for a bachelorette party, but the vibes are slightly different. Right? Yes.

Nashville sucks more. There's like, you're on those like, you know, little bike things that you drink on. Which is terrible. Have you ever done it? I know. I have. You want to exercise while drunk? No.

No. And also it's harder than it looks like. I felt like I was a Peloton instructor when I was on that damn thing because I was underneath looking at everybody's feet and I was like, come on, like guys, let's move, let's hustle, we're wasted. Let's go. Everybody's drunk. Move those feet.

Like, knees up, bitch. I see you not moving. Did it work? Yes. Oh, okay. Very good. It was intimidating, but it was like, you chose to wear heels. Take them bitches off.

Let's go. It's good to know you can have a backup career. I'm sure they hated me for that. I'm sure my friends were like, we never, and that was my point is that we'll never do this again. I hope that all of you had a bad time. So they do this, right? And so everyone's drunk and they're going to dinner, right?

They're paddling their way to dinner? No, after, after they do the paddling, they're going out to dinner, right? And a lot of these girls have been married for, you know, five years at this point and they are very much, and they have kids and they're very much like mommy's night out, right? So it's like people are trashed, right? Like everyone is making a lot of choices. Everyone's having a lot of fun.

Bathroom compliments. See, the beginning of being trashed is bad compliments. People are holding each other's face with both hands. Yeah. You're just so smart and so beautiful. And I miss you so much, Madison. And like, I just read your Instagram post and when you got that pool, I was like, that pool is so nice.

And then it goes downhill from there. Yes. So by the time they get to dinner, things are going downhill. They're sitting at dinner and another bridesmaid asks Amanda. She's like, tell me the story of how you met this guy. So Amanda's telling the story right here is how we met. We've been together for this long. And someone else is like, do you think he's the one?

So Amanda is like, yeah, you know, I do think he's the one, but I don't feel that marriage is like the goal in my life. And I don't know that it's like the first, right? She creates like true chaos. As she says, I think he's the one. She sees Meredith at the head of the table make a face. Meredith. So you've seen, you're sitting at the table.

You've just announced that you think your boyfriend is the one. Your supposed very close friend Meredith has now made a face to all of your other close friends. What do you do? So here's the thing. Misery loves company. And at this moment, Amanda should have realized that she was only with you because y'all were both the spinsters of the group.

And that's the energy that Meredith is giving is like, I'm Queen B. And this is finally my moment to look down on someone the way that I've been looked down on. And it sucks because this is the bitch that she was commiserating with. So why are you hanging her ass out to drive? Even though Amanda was all up in her own shit and not even ready to celebrate Meredith's shit in the first place when she sat down at that table with the champagne. So Amanda, first of all, all you bitches deserve each other because y'all are bitches.

So nobody's right. They found their people. Yeah. You found your tribe. Your tribe is friends that you hang out with and you go home to your boyfriend or your husband and you talk cash shit about all of them. Yeah. About all of them.

I don't do that with my close friends. Maybe one. Because you like them on the most part. You like them. Like that's why you don't go home and talk shit. So do you call her out though? See, I am different from Amanda because I understand the sorority dynamic. We want to go.

Idiot pie. Like I get it. I understand it in my spirit. I grew up in Texas. I'm from Frisco, Texas. I get I know all these girls. That is not my energy. I'm a straight shooter.

And these women. These women are. That's not the language of, you know, certain white women in certain demographics. You know, they're speaking white, white womanese to each other. So Amanda, I don't see her straight up calling Meredith out unless she's real lit. I think in Amanda's case here, if she really was about just keeping it real. I've been like, and I would have done it in a playful tone because I love to say things in a playful tone when people know that I'm serious.

I'm like, Meredith, why you make that face? We was the single only bitches for the longest and now you got engaged and now you want to make all things. I would have just made it a joke. And then I'm sure all the married women would have laughed at it because they could be like, oh, look at these spinsters fighting each other. Oh, so cute. Yeah.

We're all married. We don't have to fight spinsters. So I would have gone playful call out. So before Amanda can do that, you've forgotten that there are 14 other women here who all have their best friends and they're all trashed. Someone else is like, Meredith, what's that face? Why are you making that face? We love an instigator.

And Meredith is like, I just don't think that it's perfect. I think that if he hasn't proposed after this long, Keith probably never will. And why would he? She's like, they live together and she's digging her own hole now. She's like, a guy with that much money just like doesn't stay with a girl who's not in his own social class. And like, I love it for you and I'm so glad you're happy, but I just don't know that it's going to work out.

She called her poor. She says she's poor and unlovable. Meredith, those are fighting. I'm going to put you your Adam's apple. So, but Amanda is like a baby. She's not going to pick a physical fight. She like has never even had a verbal fight in her whole life. She's from this like culture of rich women where you just don't ever say anything.

So she's mad as hell, but she doesn't say, she's like, you know what, whatever. She's like, what does this bitch know about relationships anyway? She's marrying this guy. She's known for six months, like whatever. She tries to talk shit to some other bridesmaids and they're like, she's just stressed. Meredith's just stressed. So none of them even came to her aid, which means they think the same thing. Yes.

So Amanda comes back and she's like, fuck this. I've got a sour taste in my mouth. I don't want to talk to these women anymore. Like I don't, I'm checking out. I'll like look at the group text, but I'm not going to participate anymore. So three weeks before the wedding. Amanda and her boyfriend go to the mountains. They go on this like cute little hiking trip.

It's like not camping. It's like glamping, right? There's like a cute little bed. It's all over Instagram. It's all over Instagram. Uh-huh. Exactly. And Jake proposes to her and they're like, you know what, we just want to keep this like

to us for a few days, right? We're just going to keep it like quiet so that we can have a fun rest of our vacation. We'll announce it when we get back, right? So Amanda's engaged this whole time. Amanda is now engaged. Three weeks before the wedding, Amanda is engaged. So the bachelorette, so I'm trying to get the timeline together. Two months before the wedding is the bachelorette party.

Okay. Then we fast forward like four weeks and we're now three weeks before the wedding. And Amanda gets engaged on this hiking trip. Sweet, sweet revenge. She's thrilled. And she's holding it. Obviously. She's like, this is the best day of my life.

She's keeping it secret. She's like, I can't wait to tell everyone they come back from their trip. She like goes into that little group text. And it's just a picture of this like, you know, fucking pear shaped diamond. Oh, not a pear shape. That boat that pear shaped diamond does not bode well. A pear shaped diamond says, I don't know. I've never met you woman.

Like, oh, but if you got a pear shaped diamond out there and you like it and that's what you wanted. I'm not requested it specific. I'm not insulting you. Yes. But if it's a surprise pair, I'm curious. He didn't ask enough questions. Really?

She's thrilled. She, she texts the group. She's like, I'm engaged. Everything's great. Everyone's texting her. We know how big the diamond is. Cause she's got a rich family. Yeah.

It's a big diamond. It's getting okay. It's big enough that like the other girls in the group text are now like self-conscious. Yes, Amanda. So she has like really pulled something off here. Go off. You better have a blood diamond on your finger, honey. You better have the deaths of several African children resting on your hand and do it to

them. Okay. So she texts them all. Everyone's like, you know, they're texting in the group, but they're also texting her individually, right? To be like, I'm so happy for you. Right? Right.

Then individually. Like they're text, she's texting in the group. Like here's the photo and those girls are responding in the group. Okay. But then they're also texting her and being like, Hey, I'm so happy for you. Like congratulations. Right. Perfectly fine.

Whatever. Yeah. Perfect. Then the evening after she tells them all, she receives a text from one of the other bridesmaids. I'm just going to show you the length of this text and I want you to just, um, can you? Yeah. Can you see what's happening here?

Oh my God. That's a pair. That's, that's a novel. That's where you get a text and you be like, like that old tweet saying goes, it's like, I'm sorry for what happened or I'm really happy for you. I'm not reading all that shit. I'm not reading all that shit. Yeah.

I'm going to read this text to you. Are you ready? I am. I am going to say though, to everyone out there, this is a piece of solid advice. If you gossip, you don't text nobody. No. Because screenshots are real. iPhones are real.

I don't know what's happening in Android country, but you call somebody when you got mess. That way you have plausible deniability. You do not text that much mess because then a screenshot is big. There's too many receipts. Anytime I have a business conversation, anytime I have a conversation where I need to, yeah, it's always on the phone unless it's something that I need documented and then it is an email or text. So if don't text your mess.

And great evidence for this is that this drama is five tiers of friends removed from me and I have a screenshot of this text. Exactly. Y'all see, your text go end up on the podcast. They're all going to end up in my inbox. Is that what you want? You want your text to end up on a very successful podcast? You don't.

We have paraphrased this text, but the heart of it is alive and well. I'm going to read it to you. Ready? Yes. This comes from another bridesmaid. I am so, so excited for you and Jake. I'm thrilled that you could share such wonderful news with me. I know this has been a long and arduous journey for y'all.

Arduous. And I can't wait to see it come to pure fruition. Also, babe, you're going to be a stunning bride. Here we go. This woman is a bitch too. Not arduous. I know it's very long, rocky, terrible, frightening, unsure road where you didn't think you were going to get chose because you was lonely as fuck.

We're all as surprised as you are. We can't believe anybody loves you, but we're happy that they do. And you're going to be cute. Anyways. Now we got a paragraph break. Next paragraph. Ooh, I just got the annotations. I'm so proud to know you.

It requires such a level of selflessness and care for Meredith to keep this news secret until after her wedding. I can barely imagine how Meredith would feel if this wonderful news and that huge, beautiful ring became the focus of her special day. I know that you would never want to take attention away from her and you and I both know that when people see your engagement ring, they are going to flip in all caps. They are going to be just so, so happy and want to congratulate you and focus on you. Paragraph break.

Meredith is unbelievably blessed to have you. I just feel really bad for her right now because she told me that she feels like things are really tense between y'all and that this drama is really wearing on her. She would be heartbroken if her special weekend became about your engagement. Love you the most. Can't wait to see you in two short weeks. Go. Let it out.

So, one, whoever sent this text to Amanda is more Meredith's friend than she is Amanda's friend. Yes. This is now your enemy in my opinion. This is your enemy. And also, Meredith, if you want to send shots, sweetie, you better be the shooter. Like, why are you sending your minions to do your duty? Third, the comment on the size of the ring.

So, the girls have obviously opened another group chat and it's only got 14 people in it and Amanda, you're not there. And they're talking. And Meredith started that shit. How dare this bitch. She know I'm about to get married, put her fucking disgusting ass, big ass, motherfucking. That shit looks like it came from sales, okay? It looks like it came from kids.

It's giving every kiss begins with K. Even though it's big. Like, we can't see the flaws. Like, she didn't put it under a little microscope. It's probably got many little dirt, simpurities in it. We don't even know. And this, and Meredith's like, I should say something to her, but she knows she don't want to say something.

And then she's like, well, Jenny, can you, can you like y'all are closer than we are because we've had so much tension and like you're the one who's like the closest to everyone. Jenny's giving messy Libra energy. She's giving mini leaks. She's giving Christine from selling sunset where she's like, oh, we need to blow some shit up. Oh, I got you.

No, never. I'll blow it up. But I'll be so nice and she'll know that it's coming from a good place. Two weeks before somebody's wedding and you tell people that you got engaged, that is not an infringement on their wedding. You know what is an infringement on someone's wedding is if that motherfucker had proposed to you at the reception. At their wedding.

Then yes, let's toss hands. Let's throw hands like Tony Romo. Let's throw hands. Okay. I think that is so tacky. I know people are like, oh yeah, weddings like proposed. Don't propose in my wedding. Disgusting.

But for someone to tell you that they got engaged, you're just mad because you were shitting on her at the Bachelorette party and then she got to be like nana nana boo boo my ring's bigger than you boo. And you're mad and they're all mad because that's why Jenny agreed to do this shit because she was like, oh, whatever ain't bigger than my ring too. And my man is in debt. I didn't even realize till we got married that he had so much financial aid to go to the school that we went to.

I'm over here paying off his loans. My parents put down the down payment on our house. Jenny mad. It gets worse. Oh no, no it doesn't. She gets another text. Not another text. Along the same exact lines.

They got a group chat. For the different bridesmaids. They got a group chat. So she's now got two texts of this length. Different phrasing. No. Same message. How did Meredith align all of the troops?

These girls hated Meredith. And now listen, she's queen B, I'm confused. It's like you have the one girl who's not married, who's rich boyfriend is jetting her off for weekends, places. She's clearly having more fun than you and your like three terrible children. Yeah. So some of these women got married to get married. She ended up with the baller shot collar.

And they're like, damn, we should have held out like this bitch did. And so now they need to knock her down. Oh, so she's queen B and she doesn't even know it. Amanda, you won. She's got to get it together. What do you do? Now we're at door number two. What do you do?

Amanda, this is what you do sis. I'm chaotic good. You don't even respond to the second bitch. And before you open the text message, you put your rare receipts on. You open that text, you put your rare receipts on. You know she saw you read it. You wait three hours so you know that she's checked the text and she'll see that it says seen at the bottom.

Then you go into the group chat and you say, hey guys, I've received several. Now you've only received two, but we're going to say several because the bitch is on her. I've received several messages with deep concern about me sharing my happiness with you all, overshadowing Meredith's wedding. And I just want to say that that is something that I would never do. I believe that we can all be happy for each other. I never would take attention away from beautiful Meredith and her amazing day. I will quote Meredith.

I'd be like on Meredith's first date, she told me that her fiance said that they were meant to be. And I think that their story is so beautiful. And I cannot wait to champion it with you all. I will be there. I will be supportive. And I would never, never even think of trying to steal a moment from her. And nor could I because it is her day and she is a beautiful queen. And you know, and I will fully put the onus on them.

I'd be like, wow, I'm just trying to be happy in your man. That's the subtext of that. Wow, I'm happy in your man. Okay, don't worry. So you had chosen chaotic good. Amanda goes chaotic evil. She texts the first girl back. She says, and I quote, I will not be discussing any of this with you.

It is disrespectful to me and to Jake to even ask this of me. If Meredith wants to discuss this with me, she can text me herself. And then she blocks both girls who texted her. Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. Gone. Amanda.

Now you don't dig yourself into a hole. That's not how you play these games. That's not how you play these games. But she's mad. Yeah, but she should have sat down in a corner or called her cousin or her sister or her mama, you know, anybody other than these friends and got you. You, you don't. This is another tip guys.

When someone does something or says something that pisses you off. You don't respond immediately because you're going to put yourself in the losing position because when you get upset, people know they got something out of you or they feel vindicated or right about attacking you, especially if they're crazy enough to send you these types of text messages. You call your homegirl outside of this group and you cuss and you yell. You're like these raggedy bitches. I can't believe I supported them when we were pleasure and we paid all this money.

I can't wait till I get it. I'm gonna throw that shit in the fucking fire. Fuck these hoes. Like you know what I mean? You like Madison got wide hips. Like you go off. You go off to somebody. You open the fire hydrant to someone not involved.

Outside. Then you go back to the message and you give them back what they gave you because people don't know how to deal with that. And you come back as a gracious queen. You come back and this is the only time I would tell you to play victimhood and just be like, and don't play victimhood too strong. I think it's more just like, Hey, I've received several messages. I just want to show everyone that we can all be happy and that my happiness is not a detraction

from your happiness. And I will fully stand beside you and uplift you and make sure that you have the best day because it is your day queen. Special day. And I would have left it at that. That's how you put your foot on all those bitches next. And then what are they going to say? You don't want the big rain and you the gracious queen, but instead you over here popping off

all people and now they have some tea to take back to that 14 person group chat. Yes. So as you can imagine, the 15 person group chat is now silent. Cause they're 14. Cause they're in the 14. We're two weeks before the wedding. She gets one text from a sensibly from Jenny, but sent by another bridesmaid that's like, I don't know why you're making me the bad guy.

She ignores that. Thank God. But she's getting no information. Right. She's like, the group text is no longer working. The wedding's in two weeks. She's been iced out. She's like, fuck them.

I'm announcing my engagement publicly. So now you're doing what they told you not to do. And now they feel like they're right about the bullshit that they gave you. Oh, she's every single person in the wedding party likes the post, but does not text her. Amanda, you need to learn how to play chess. She's, yeah, she is not playing 3d chess. This girl's playing checkers. She's so bad at it.

And this is where I'm like, you just grow, you need better friends, right? Like that's the, I'm like, this is all a mess that you could have avoided by just bailing. She doesn't deserve better friends. She needs to go to therapy before she gets better friends. She is the most oblivious self-centered narcissist and she's a punk on top of that. You can't be all of it. You got to pick one. Really.

If you're going to be a narcissist, at least have hands. Like you can't, you can't be a punk ass and then want to be mad. Like Amanda has just written this into now. It's the week before the wedding. And you know, this is the kind of like rich sorority southern wedding where it's like Thursday night drinks Friday night rehearsals. A weekend. It's a whole weekend, right? Saturday wedding, Sunday brunch.

It's Tuesday and Amanda has heard nothing. Oh, a man's a girl. They don't want to invite you. Full radio silence. What do you do? Okay. You have two choices and it depends on what movement and if I've had a glass of wine or three. Yes.

So right minded me. Don't go to this wedding and also don't invite any of these hoes to your wedding. Also, unfollow them on all social platforms. Just delete them. And just be like, this is done. This was college. I'm grown now. Let it the fuck go.

I'm going to give you three options here. Second option. Chaotic me. Hit the group chat up. No, you know what? No, no, no, no. Second option. Chaotic evil me.

Call Meredith. Don't even do a group text. Hey, Meredith. Like what's going on? Like, you know, a lot of people have reached out to me expressing and I would do this, which is so fucked up. And I would name them. I'd be like, Jenny and Rachel and Madison texted me saying that you were upset that I got engaged and that you felt like I was trying to upstage your wedding. Like, I would, I would erase their subtext and I would go straight for their real text and be like, I can't believe they would do that to you.

Like, why are they causing drama on your special day? Because I was just sharing my exciting news, but I had no intentions of trying to overshadow your wedding. I could never. You and I were the closest. You told me that y'all were so amazed on the first day and I was supporting you. So why do you have these women in your life who are spreading vicious gossip so close to your special day? I don't like that for you. I'm mad at them for you, queen.

And then if you really want to be just fucking batshit, door number three, group chat. Hey, y'all, did y'all make another group chat? Because I see that nobody's been talking to this man. Are y'all mad at me because I said that I was getting engaged? I wasn't trying to upstage the wedding, but several of y'all have texted me saying that you thought it's such and that you thought my ring was too big and that I'm a bitch. I sprinkled some shit for a little dazzle dazzle. And y'all called me a bitch and I was like, I'm y'all's friend and we've been friends for so long and this really just hurts me so much. Do y'all hate me now?

Like, what's going on? Like, are y'all mad at me because I got engaged? I'm so sorry that I shared it with you. I guess I should have kept it to myself, but I thought we were all friends. But if y'all don't want to text back and y'all don't want me at the wedding, I could completely understand because I shouldn't have shared my happiness with people I thought were my closest. Okay, you, yeah, you're way too good at understanding other people and what they might like and how they will respond. Amanda is not like this. It's not.

She does it. All of those are great options. They all have different consequences, but they're all really good options. What Amanda does is she texts Meredith, texts first mistake as we've been over. Why? Call her. This bitch texts and she's like, I just haven't heard anything. Like, I don't, she does kind of try to do the emotional manipulation where she's like, you know, I just, I thought that you were so happy for me and like, I didn't understand what has happened here.

She's making it about her. Huge flaw. Huge flaw. And she's like, so I don't even know, like, I want to be there on your special day, but I don't even know if you want me there. Okay. Why would you open the door for a question? Why? Because you don't want the answer to, because obviously if she's got you on ghost mode, if she has put, if she's gone full Casper, if she's gone full, who you're going to call?

You already know the answer to that. Don't leave no room. Go get what you want and make it about her. She can't. She can't. Meredith texts her back and is like, of course I want you there. In fact, it's the least you can do. What's her reasoning?

Do you have a guess? Absolutely. She was mad about the big ring. She was mad about Amanda's happiness and to a richer man than whoever the fuck Meredith decided to have a shotgun wedding with. And she was like, it's the least you could do trying to be like, yeah, I told them bitches to tell you what they said and I meant it. And now bring your ass over here and I want you to be mad at my wedding, but hiding it because you have pride. I want you to be mad and I want you to be quiet. The reason that Meredith gives her the least you can do is come.

Otherwise the sides will be uneven. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen. What do you do? The wedding? You've got to go to all these events theoretically. Are you going? This is the last time I'm going to ask you if we're closing in on the end. Since you're having a lopsided wedding.

You're not going. No. And also I'm going to do something real petty the night before you're wedding on all social platforms just so I can make sure you're real upset. I might even do it from a burner account. I might even, I might even, this is me. You're sliding into the groom's DMs. If I'm being toxic, if I'm being toxic because you're toxic and I don't live in the realm of toxicity, but I can play. So if we're like a man, if you really want to be toxic, but make a burner, put a man's face on it.

Yep. Damn. All platforms and also leave several comments on his pages. Wow. You're fucking my girlfriend. I guess she's everybody's girlfriend and put that shit up at like 2am before the wedding. That way you know he's asleep, knocked out drunk and then he goes see it in the morning. And she's going to see it for sure.

And make sure you follow Amanda on the page. Follow several other people and also get online and buy fake followers and post enough photos that the page looks legit. These are all great ideas for someone who has any ability to think about other people or the way that they might behave. This is not what Amanda does. Amanda goes to the wedding. And as you can imagine, as you correctly predicted, Meredith ignores her the whole time and is like, you're here to do my bidding. The other bridesmaids will talk to you. I don't need to talk to you.

And as the final nail in her coffin, which you guessed earlier, she embroidered those fucking initials over the whole empty space on the handkerchief. Listen, Amanda, if you were smart, if you, if you, if you had a petty bow to your body, you'd have been like, oh, I'll find a place in the handkerchief for myself. And then you would took the handkerchief and you would have burnt that shit in your fireplace and been like, oh my God, the handkerchief burnt down in the fire. Oops. Oopsie. No worries. I made a new one and it's all evenly spaced. Here you all go.

These are all great strategies. Amanda does not do them. But to her credit, she is like, you know what? I don't think these people are my friends anymore. It took her this long. I know. And what we have heard from our friends of her friends is that the wedding was eight months ago. She has not spoken to them since.

None of them are in her wedding and the ties are fully severed. Amanda, I feel like, I feel like you could have got some revenge out of this. Tell them they're all in your wedding. I feel like it's still not too late. I'm like, tell them they're all in your wedding. Send them the link to buy the bridesmaid's dress. Make it a little too expensive. Just a little too expensive.

Not too expensive that people will cause a fuss, but just like a little too expensive for a bridesmaid's dress. Just a tad. Just a tad. Let them invest. And then you tell them, I'm not having a bachelorette party. You have it. You take all the photos and videos. You tell everybody they can't post till a certain time.

Tell them to take your phones. Take your phones. Right? Have a videographer. Then you invite them to a wedding that is not at the right address. Or the right day. And you have them show up in those expensive dresses. Actually, tell them the wedding is while you're at your bachelorette party.

That's what I was gonna say. Show up to the wedding. And then you start posting photos at saloon, which are real homies. Cause they could be friends with them anyways. They might as well leave them a little bit broke, a little bit mad. And you block them all. They can't contact you on any platform. They're gone.

They're dead to you. Well, I mean, that's the end of our gossip. Lacey, thank you so much for coming on. This was a blast. Oh, so fun. Where can our listeners find you? Oh, guys, if you like mess and you like scams and comedy scam, got his podcast on all platforms.

You can find me on socials at DIVA LACI on all socials, except for Tik Tok where I'm Lacey Mosley. And I currently first season is streaming on Paramount Plus right now. And that season will be out soon. And the second season of a black lady's sketch show, if you like comedy is out on HBO Max all episodes. Thank you so much for coming on, Lacey. Thank you for having me, Kelsey.

Thanks for listening to Normal Gossip. If you disagree with our takes or have a gossip story to share, please email us at normalgossipatdefector.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 gossip. But please be aware that the voicemail box cuts you off at three minutes. So you can also send us a voicemail at our email normalgossipatdefector.com if you need to go longer. You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram at at McKinney Kelsey.

You can follow the podcast on both at at Normal Gossip. This podcast was produced by Alex Sujan Laughlin. Thank you to Projects Editor Justin Ellis and Editor-in-Chief Tom Lay and the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber based media company. If you love this podcast and want to support us, subscribe to defector at defector.com. Thanks to Kelly for sharing this excellent gossip story with us.

I'm Kelsey McKinney and remember, you did not hear this from me. Thank you.