Normal Gossip - Surprise! The Plant Story 🪴

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

Happy summer! We’re popping in with a little summer surprise: the recording from our December 2022 live show in Washington, D.C., with Brittany Luse! This is a different story than the one we’re telling on our tour this summer. If you want to get tickets to the tour, there are still seats available! You can support Normal Gossip directly by buying merch or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend at supportnormalgossip.com. Our merch shop is run by Dan McQuade. You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page: https://normalgossip.komi.io/ Episode transcript here. Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney (@mckinneykelsey) and produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs). Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Jae Towle Vieira is our associate producer. Show art by Tara Jacoby. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia.

The fourth season of Radiotopia's Weird TV Rewatch Podcast into scenes behind Plainsight has just launched. In the scenes behind Plainsight is the weirdest TV rewatch podcast in the world. It's a TV rewatch podcast for a TV show that never existed. It's all made up. It's funny, surreal, and unpredictable. In the scenes behind Plainsight is hosted by two

quote-unquote stars of behind Plainsight. A mid-2000s hit TV show that took place on a nudist quality. Called one of the best podcasts of 2023 by Time Magazine and New York Magazine, and The New York Times called it, quote, silly and terrific. It's something brand new in the podcast landscape, a surreal satire of TV, Hollywood, and of podcasting itself.

Listen to In the Scenes Behind Plainsight wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Kelsey. Hello from our summer break. I'm currently in a weird hotel room in Boston where there are framed photos of fish on the wall. And we are waiting to do our second stop in Boston right now. But I miss you guys. I miss putting episodes on the feed. And I thought that we could share with you a recording from our December live show in Washington DC at 6th and I This is a totally different story than the one we're currently telling on tour But it gives you a little sense of like what our live shows are like and it's a story that we haven't told on the feed before

So it's something new for those of you who miss the live show If you do want to come see us live, we still have tickets available for the West Coast leg of the tour. You can find those at normalgossip.comy.io. That's normalgossip.kom.io. And if you are dying in this drought of gossip, so desperate to get little stories or else you'll just keel over, just remember that you can become a subscriber at supportnormalgossip.com and you'll get access to monthly bonus episodes. In one of the bonus episodes this summer,

Alex and I are even telling some of the secrets that we've gathered from our time on tour, so it's very fun. So to tide you over until we come back, here is the recording from the live show with Brittany Luce in December of 2022. Please welcome to the stage, Brittany Luce Brittany. Oh wow. This is so exciting.

I'm so excited you're here and now I'm going to embarrass you by reading your whole bio. Oh, oh. Brittany Lewis is an award-winning journalist on Air Host and Cultural Critics. She's the host of its been a minute and for colored nerds. Previously, she hosted the Nod and Sampler podcast, and co-hosted an executive producer the Nod with Brittany and Eric, a daily streaming show.

She's written for Vulture and Harper's Bazaar, among others, and edited the podcast, money and not past it. She and her work have been profiled by publications like The New York Times, The New Yorker, Vulture and Teen Vogue. Give it up for Britney! I'm so happy you're here. I can't believe all that's true. I mean, you could have lied to me. I have no idea if it's true. So I'll never tell.

I'll never tell. Pretty, let's start classics. What's your relationship with Gossip? I was so glad that you asked me this today. I was like, wrecking my brain because I know that this is like the big question, the first question. When you come on, it's like, inside the actress studio. Like, what are the words you hope you hear the previous? It's like the big question, it's the first question. Come on, it's like, inside the actress studio. Like, what are the words you hope you hear at the previous?

It's like that level. And I didn't know what I was going to say until I had looked at my phone for hours this afternoon. I now work at NPR, so I was working at the big building on North Capital, Shiny. Shout out NPR. And I had looked at my phone for hours, and I saw that I had a one minute voice memo for my

husband. I was wondering what it was. Was it something important? Was it something? I don't know. And he was like, oh my God, babe, I saw these people fighting in the street. This woman was outside in her pajamas. She was about to kill her boyfriend.

I think he cheated. I was like, well, actually, I said, we talked on the phone about it later, I called him immediately as soon as I saw this boy. And I was like, I think he cheated, even though I didn't have any information. I was just like, you're like fighting in the street. I'm sorry, yeah.

Hello. And he was like, I don't know. He felt like it was a different situation. Like maybe he just hit, like maybe he cheated six months ago and she finally had her breaking point. I don't know. He actually went outside to go find our car because we're both forgetting where we parked the car.

And so he was like circling the block to look for the car. And then once he heard the drama and saw the fighting, he circled the block multiple times. It's good that you married him. That was the right decision. We are constantly observing and just noting things for later, you know. But also, I'm just like, I love being in people's business.

I know that like, I do sometimes get people on the show and they're like, I, like, they have all these rules for how they share gossip and And they sound so ethical. I'm so happy for that. I'm so happy for that. I would love to like, I was thinking I was like, maybe I'll come here today and lie. But I just love being up in other people's business. And my husband, that is a big currency, is finding things that are happening.

The neighborhood are wherever we are, and then like texting them to each other and sending voice memos. I wanna go back to something you said earlier, which is that you think that you are not an ethical gossip. Like what do you mean? Well, I mean like, I listen to Samantha Erby episode. Shout out Samantha Erby.

We love Sanskrit. And she had all these nice things where she was like, you know, I mean, I do kind of feel that way. I don't like to hear things that are like mean spirited and I hate gossip that's not true. I only want to hear the real shit. I just want to hear real gossip. I want facts.

So I do want things to be true and I don't want them to be mean spirited. But beyond that, like pretty much'm like a game for anything. I don't, I will say I'm judicious about. There's certain things that I will immediately pick up the phone and tell my husband, like, I cannot believe this. But then there's other things that are just sort of like, I'm just so grateful.

Somebody gave me the info that that's enough. Like I'm satisfied. Like I will say I'm ethical about sharing it, but I loved her. But you will receive anything. Would you like to hear a story? You want to do some gossiping? Do you want to hear a story?

Yeah. Okay, okay, let's do it. Nervous. Why nervous? I don't know, because I feel like this is just, like it's such a big deal to be on this show. When you all emailed me, when I saw the email, I thought it was dreaming. I'm not even kidding. just, I get such a big deal to be on this show. When you all email me, when I saw the email, I thought it was dreaming.

I'm not even kidding. Like, I get to engage in one of my favorite hobbies in public. Oh my God. With the master of gossip, you know what I mean? Thank you so much. Thank you. We were thrilled when you said yes. We were like, it's a match meeting heaven.

It's beautiful. OK, here we go. Our gossip today is about a friend of a friend. Her name is Alejandra. She's like 30, queer. She graduated from undergrad, got a job at a nonprofit, was instantly miserable, and did that thing that like, wow, a lot of you working on profit. She did that thing that I'm guessing most of you have done, which is staying up on your

computer at 2 a.m. in Googling grad school requirements. Yeah, but unlike me and a lot of people, she didn't just do that for fun. She did go back to grad school. Oh my gosh. I know. Can you believe it? Oh wow. She decided you know I'm going to get a PhD in history.

So she moves to this like, PhD in history. Wait, she did what? PhD in history. Oh, so she has to. Where decided you know I'm gonna get a PhD in history so she moves to this like Wait, she did what PhD in history. Oh, she really? She really wanted to go back to school. Yeah, she wanted to learn learn So she go she like moves to a small town big university small town in the middle of country and She has a problem because she's like worked for a few years and the options for like places to live are either with like undergraduates or with like people who came to grad school right out of undergrad. So she finds a girl in her program that's like a couple years older and lives in a house that has like a small footprint but is three stories. Okay, so it's a slim house, three stories. Yeah, so it's like a DC warehouse.

Kind of, yeah. But it has a yard. Okay. And it's like the first floor is like living room, dining room, kitchen. Second floor is one big bedroom with an ensuite bathroom. And a tiny, you know, like a New York bedroom, a tiny bedroom.

And then the third floor has a cathedral ceiling and a huge bedroom. Wow, okay. Yeah. So the girl who's older than her obviously lives in the cathedral ceiling bedroom, like why would she live in the normal size? Yeah, she's the house mother,

she's got to live upstairs. Exactly. So Alejandra lives very happily for four years in this house in the middle bedroom. She's like, sure. Okay. But then, unfortunately, her roommate, who is the house mother, graduates. Congratulations.

So that leaves the room open. Yes. Oh. And a rent problem. So she needs a roommate. She wants someone that's like in her program, right? Like someone who like she can talk to. Like a misery with that. Yeah.

The first option is this guy who's like always playing devil's advocate. No. No. No. No. The second option is this girl Libby who she really likes. And Libby like has the same advisor as her and like they get along really well But Libby has a very serious long-term boyfriend Who would that could go that could go either way that could go and they would both be moving in no And they're like the kind of couple that like they got together first year of undergrad and they're like so, so much PDA. Right, like they're always kissing.

Which group paid do you think she should choose? I'm sorry, I don't want to shake the table, but I would go with the guy who always plays devil's advocate. I would because he can't, he's, he's, he's, he can't play devil's advocate by himself on the living room couch, but a couple of hand-hands in there, and that's nasty. I don't want to see that at home. I think that's a good argument. Now I want to teach you how the Globe Race lets work.

There are two people roaming around with mics, one is Alex and one is Jasper. You've seen them both on stage. If you agree with Brittany, please raise your hand. Do you think she should pick the devil's advocate man? OK. If you disagree, raise your hand. Alex, can you get me someone near you who disagrees? Keep your hands up. This is very scary.

If you want to talk to Alex, keep your hands up. Test, test. This is very windy while he Williams right now. I'm just letting you know. Yeah. Okay. I feel like the devil's advocate guy will argue with you about rent and cleaning the fridge and the kitchen. There's so much to argue about when you were roommates and that would be difficult. Okay. The couple two people to do dishes. Oh. Well, if they do dishes, but yeah, I was going to say, or two people to make twice as many dishes and not do them. Yeah, who knows. Okay, so Alejandro chooses Libby and Chris, and they move in. And that's why we're talking today. And that's why we're

here. What I said, back to what I said, that's why we're talking today. So she chooses Libby and Chris, they move in everything's fine at first. Some background you need to know is all of these people are history PhD students. And the director of the PhD in history program, right, the chair of the history department, announced that he was going to retire the school year before. And so they began the search for the new director.

And they announced, he sends an email and announces, like, three weeks into the school year, three weeks after Chris and Libby moved in, that there are two leading candidates. The first is Dr. Brody. Dr. Brody is at, like, 40 years old, black academic who like studies diaspora studies and she is Alejandra and Libby's advisor and they love her. Okay. Dr. Brody. Dr. Brody. Gotcha. The second candidate is Dr. Vance. Dr. Vance is an older white man who is Chris's advisor.

Would you like to guess what kind of history Dr. Vance and Chris study? I don't know the ins and outs of the PhD history world. I was just going to say is it World War II? That's a great guess. Seems like I'm like okay older white man Kim Burns Where you know, I mean just follow the line. It is World War one battle history Okay, so these are the two candidates to run the program. Okay, this comes in an email All a hunter is like obviously I want Dr. Brody to be the leader of this program She'll lead us into the future.

She's great, but she's not like going to fight about it. Chris and Libby use this as an excuse to begin fighting. And that was the other reason why I was like, don't have a couple because even if they don't fight with you, they will fight with each other. Exactly. And then you'll have to be keeping a Google Doc. Yes. Of everything they're saying. Exactly. And some important context here is be keeping a Google Doc of everything you're saying. Exactly. And some important context here is that this is the fall of 2019.

Oh. Yeah. I haven't been in school in so long. I was like, okay, it's almost the end of the year. No, that's the beginning. Yeah. So they start fighting in October. And they're fighting. October, November, December, they go home for Christmas.

They come back. They're still fighting January, February. The only thing that gets them to stop fighting is fear of the novel coronavirus. And Alejandra is like, I honestly don't know which is better than not fighting. And they're being a global pandemic pandemic or them fighting all the time. Like this is a nightmare.

They last like two weeks and then they are fighting again. So now you are living in a house that you cannot leave because there is a pandemic and your roommates are fighting, screaming through the floor about who will lead the history department. That sounds like hell. What would you do? I mean, what would I do? I would move. I would even have a problem. You know what it is?

I would say I had a headache. And I would move. But in April of 2020? and how problem like I would move, you know what it is, I would say I had a headache. And that would be a good one. That's what I would say. But in April of 2020? Okay, well. And it's your night house? Well, I'll say this.

So I'm from the Midwest and for the people who are from the Midwest, it ain't no thank for us to drive 16 hours by ourselves. Yeah. In a day. And once, yeah. Well. Oh, yes, yes! But yes, it's not a big thing for us to drive long distances.

So I absolutely would, I don't care if I have to run a car. I would just be like, I gotta go, I can't be in a stressful situation. I'm different than other people. Unlike other people. I can't be in a stressful situation. Does anyone up there very strongly disagree? Oh, no, there are a few. Jasper, if there's someone near you,

can you tell, have them tell me why? Hello. Hello, why? The tea. Oh. It's the drama. You're going to stay in a house with fighting for tea? I'm going to make it worse.

I'm going to make it worse. I'm going to make it worse. I'm going to blow shit up. My mother did not raise me to not be the destroyer of world. I'm going to make them move out. Incredible. Thank you. That's good. That's actually really fun.

It is. Wow. Beautiful. The flaws. Alejandra is like, she has reached a breaking point. And she is like, I can't do this anymore. I'm going downstairs and I'm going to talk to them. I'm going to try and have a civil conversation

about how much we're fighting in the house and whether or not we could have those fights outside. So she goes like running down the stairs from her cathedral bedroom. Like downstairs they're not in their bedroom. She goes on the other side of the stairs. She's the house mother. Because she's a house mother. She goes down to the living room, and there they are.

And they have suitcases. And they have boxes. And they have tote bags full of books. And Alejandro's like, what are you guys doing? And they're like, oh, we're going to go to Chris's family's house. And she's like, what are you guys doing? And they're like, oh, we're gonna go to Chris's family's house. And she's like, bye. Wow. What a stroke of luck.

She got lucky. So they're gone. She hears nothing from them. But then something happens, because she wrote to you. Yeah. So she hears nothing from them, right? Like, they leave their gone for like six weeks in May. Libby calls her out of the blue.

Do you answer it? Ooh, Nassie, at that point, my annoyance would have died down because they'd be out of the house and at that point I would just be so fucking nosy. I would pick up the phone. I would pick up the phone. I would pick up the phone. All would pick up the phone. I would pick up the phone. All Aheader doesn't pick it up immediately,

but Libby calls her back right afterward. So like the double call, and then she picks up. And Libby's like, have you seen your email? And Aheader's like, what? No. No. Did they pick it? Oh no.

And she goes to her email and they have picked the new director of the history program. Do you want to guess who this is? It's the other guy. I only remember Dr. Brody. I just want you to know. It's Dr. Ants. They've picked Dr. Ants.

Oh, man. Wait, so now, so he's in charge. Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo. So now he's in charge of the history department. So what changes?

I mean, I, what, I don't, so. Academia things move very slowly. So like objectively kind of nothing. But it's like, but it means something. It's like for the future of the department. Yeah, it's an indication of what they're about. Yes, and what it means for our purposes is that Dr. Vance is now in charge

and they have given Dr. Brody a consolation prize, which is she moves into the cathedral, she gets into the cathedral, right? Okay. No, they've given her there's like this esteemed lecture series at the university that like brings in academics from all over the world and like they give talks and like there's wine there there and it's very fancy.

So they're like, Dr. Brody, you get to do this now. She's like, great, thank you. She sends an email the next week and she's like, hi, I'm so excited to be running this lecture series just to heads up. I'm going to be changing it a little bit from what it had been and it will now be about Black Diaspora studies and American studies of black culture and all this stuff, right? She lays out kind of her vision for the future of this program. That's not for the diaspora.

And she's like, if anyone has any questions or concerns, just like reach out and let me know. And Alejandra texts Libby and she's like, hell yeah, this is gonna rule. And Libby doesn't text her back. Oh, whoa, where'd she go? Where'd she go? And this is when they're still at... Yeah, they're still at Chris' parents house. But she called her to say like, they've picked the new director but then doesn't respond about this email. Now this is normal gossip.

Yeah. Not murder gossip, so I'm on my..., I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, August. It's now like September of 2020. School's about to start again and like granted it's virtual but she's still like where is she? What has happened? But they still paid rent in the apartment. Yeah, they're still paying rent. And these leases are they like, they not year to year? Is it just like forever? This is one of those, you know, like university housing where it just like forever? This is one of those university housing where it's like, who's really on the list? I see. To say.

I see. I see. I see. But they are paying their rent. And so all hunters kind of like, I'm annoyed that she didn't text me back, but also I have this whole big house to myself. So like, OK.

Does it hear from her all summer? September, she is a a very very loud noise downstairs And so she goes like clumping down the stairs terrified, right? She's like by herself in the house and there's like a bump in the night. She finds like something heavy She's like this will protect me. She goes running down the stairs. She comes around the corner and she is face-to-face with Libby Okay, so wait hold on hold on You're not good enough to answer my text messages. And yet, you want to come up in my house in the little night, because by Squires Rights,

the inverse is if you leave, then it's all my house. Well, I didn't say middle of the night to be fair, it was daytime. But yes. Regardless, there's never a good time for somebody to bust up in your house when you weren't expecting them. But so what then what happens? Okay, the first thing I want you to know is that Alejandra is face-to-face with Libby,

and immediately she's like, she looks different. Like she's got Doc Martinson, she's a septum ring, she's an undercut. She didn't have these things, she didn't have these things before. No, no, no. It's her tether. Mm-hmm. It's her tether.

Oh, Hunter's like, hmm. I know a baby queer when I see one. She's like, do you want to talk about it? She's like, you seem like something's happening. Would you want to talk about it? She's like, seems like something's happening. Would you like to talk? And Libby's like, absolutely not. She goes up to her room. She closes the door. She's just like, gone.

So now she's here in your house, but she's like not really eating. And she's not really leaving her room. She's like, clearly upset. Right. But also, she's like, returned to your house without me warning. So what do you want to do here? Without the boyfriend.

Without the boyfriend. Without the boyfriend. Interesting. What do you do? What do I do? Yeah. I'm my fucking business. I don't need to.

This is not any of my business. I got my question answered. I don't want to be bothered with these people, and they are still paying the rent. So for me at that point, I'm going to my my, well, I don't know. I just remember that she's sad. She's really sad. I probably, I probably knock on her door and ask her how she was doing. Because you're worried. Yeah, because I'd be kind of worried. Yeah. And also, she's probably hungry.

Yeah, she's not eating. Not eating, yeah. Yeah, did any of you really disagree, need to speak? No. OK, everyone seems fine. Great. But I think we all agree. Like, we would knock on the door,

but we really don't want to know what's going on. Yeah. We don't want to, but we have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that is what all 100 does. All 100 goes to Knoxlandore and she's like have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that is what all 100 does. All 100 goes in Oxenor and she's like, hello, I am now offering again.

Would you like to talk about whatever's happening here? And does she finally say yes? No, she says, no, I don't want to talk about it. And all 100 is like, okay, that's fine. I do think you should eat something and you haven't been outside in a week. So I think it would be really good for you to go for a walk And like I'm happy to go with you if you need company and Libby's like I'll think about it But the next day Libby goes for a walk all hydrars like great. She left her room. That's progress check

Yeah done and she comes back with a plant like a potted plant Oh check. Yeah, done. And she comes back with a plant, like a potted plant. Oh my god, like this? Yeah, this is a monstera. Yeah, she comes back with her potted plant. Yeah. And all hunters like where did you get this plant? And Libby's like oh there's like a little shop you know in the like main street of the college town and I like I bought this little plant. Oh, no. It's never it's never just one. It's never just one and all hundreds like Yeah, sure cute plant I guess and the next day Libby goes for a walk again and she returns with a plant And then she goes for a walk again and she returns with another plant and She's going for a walk every day and another plant is coming home every day and it's plant after plant after plant after plant after plant after plant. And now they're like living in a jungle like there are hundreds of plants.

Hundreds of plants, probably not hundreds, but at least 30. That's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah, I let my my husband's really big into plants. And we have over 50 plants in my house, probably over 60 at this point. Woo, plants. Woo. And that's, he does a version of that.

We're like, he'll go to the grocery store and he comes back to the plant, or like goes to buy chewing gum, he comes back to the plant. I'm like, how are you buying plants all these locations? Don't sell living things like what's going on? But it's an addiction.

Yeah, and Libby is in deep. Yeah, Libby also has that addiction. She's just coming home with all of these plans and like, do you what do you think about this? Like do you want to stop this plant situation? My thought is is that as long as they're being taken care of and I don't have to do it. Also, I'll say we have over 60 plants at my home. I don't want them to play us. You don't touch them? No, I don't want to. It's like, it's not my job, it's not my calling, that's not my ministry.

As long as they're out of my way, I'm serious. As long as they're out of my way and I don't take care of them, to me, I think it's nice. But it does make me like actually more, almost more concerned for a living because I'm like, so you won't talk, you're going outside every day, you're buying plants, like, is she still paying the rent? Or like, she is still paying the rent, and all the plants are alive. Like, I want to be clear that she's like taking care of them. They're not dying.

Okay, to me, it's, I don't know, it's kind of nice. It's like, yeah, it's like, it's a nice benefit that she's taking care of them. They're not dying. To me, it's kind of nice. It's like, yeah, it's a nice benefit that I don't have to contribute. So you think it's fine? Yeah. Did any of you disagree with this, VMLE? Alex, can I get this person over here? Yeah, I've seen the Batman movies,

and this is a villain origin story. Right. So yeah, no, that's a no for me. That's a no. Okay. Pretty good argument. Alejandra is like, I'm just like a little concerned. Like this is so many plans that it feels like something might, there's still a problem here. So Alejandra is like, do you want to get a pizza? You want to get a pizza for dinner? And Libby's like, yeah, I want to get a pizza. OK.

So they get a pizza and you know, Alejandro rapidly feeds her three, four glasses of wine. And she's like, what's up? OK. And Libby, like, immediate tears. Oh no. I know. And she's like, I moved to Chris's parents' house.

I really did not like them. It was like a bad situation for me. And so I locked myself into our room. And I was just scrolling on my phone through TikTok. And I realized that I'm a bisexual. That there's a lot of that happening with TikTok. Yeah. And Alejandra's like, yeah, no TikTok. Yeah, and all the, all the hundreds like,

yeah, no shit. Like I got that far, but like how can I help? And Libby's like, I don't know. It's just like, it's so hard. Like I haven't talked to Chris at all about it. Okay, this is snow. We'll be back up. Chris has not been, like, she's, okay, so she's obviously, she's undergone all these physical changes that you describe.

In a short period of time, she's looking drastically different. And she moved back to live separately from Chris and they're not really talking it seems so What does she think he thinks what does she think he thinks that what is she think that he thinks is happening? Unfortunately, I do not have access to Libby's brain at all I'm so I know I'm so sorry, but I can't tell you What I know is that all a hunter is like well if it's really like beating you up that you haven't talked to him just Call him a hugger is like, well, if it's really like beating you up that you haven't talked to him, just call him. Oh, wait, so wait, so wait. She just broke up with him and then, let me just get clear.

So did she break up with him or did she do this thing that sometimes people do where they just like kind of go like, oh, I just can't talk right now and then they disappear. Thank you so much for asking. Yeah. Libby's like, I can't call him because I'm afraid he'll break up with me. So door number two. I don't know if you'll have seen that. I'm sure you have many of you have seen the gift of like, Violet Davis picking up her purse.

Yeah. That's what I want to do. I want to pick up my purse and walk off the stage because Libby girl. Mm-hmm. All a hunter because she's nosy is like like why? Why would he break up with you? Like what's why? I love a hunter for this. Libby's like well you have this complex because it's a high school girlfriend became a lesbian and broke up with him. And all the judges like, okay, thank you for that information.

I think you should talk to him. Like that seems like it is upsetting you that you haven't talked to him. You should just talk to him. And Libby's like, yeah, you know, like let me think about it here probably right. Yes. He also like what he, they're in PhD program. Yeah. They're at least 25, right?

Yeah. Yeah, he's got to grow up. He got to get over this shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the next day, Libby goes for a walk, and she returns with a prickly pear cactus.

And she's like, Alejandra, I got this for you because you're from the Southwest, and I know you would like it. And like, thank you, I got this for you because like, you're from the Southwest and I know you would like it. And like, thank you so much for talking me through this. Like I hadn't talked to anyone about it. And she's like, I'm going to talk to Chris like on the phone tonight. I'm going to do it. Like, you persuaded me.

It's really nice. Yeah. Oh, I just see, I just said, well, that's really nice. And I'm like, and there's going to be a little twist in here. I know it never know So there she calls him on the phone right let me call stress on the phone the floors and Ceilings of this house as we have been over are not super thick so we do know how this goes. How do you think it goes? Well, I mean she said here complex so it seems like he's probably gonna start crying And he's gonna be like this is seems like he's probably going to start crying and he's going to be like

This is just like when I was in high school and he's not going to take it well And all the hunters listening the whole time and In typing in her book. Yeah, basically. Yeah, all the hunters like in the group chat like Describing what's happening on the phone downstairs and what seems to be happening is that Chris is not actually mad That Libby is bisexual. He's mad because she disappeared and said nothing. And I didn't say that. You did.

Didn't I say that? You did. He's like, that is like kind of fucked up if you just like leave, say nothing. And Libby's like, yeah, I was just like going through something and he was like, yeah, but like, you could have told me, you were going through something and we could have talked about it. And she's like, okay, well, I want to talk about it now. And he is like, I'm going to need three weeks to like think about this. I mean, look, she did disappear.

I feel like it is something to like run away without any explanation. She'd even say, I'm going through something. She's just like, peace. Yeah. And then to suddenly pop back up again, it's not so proper. You can't just be running away. You can't just do that.

I know. It's true. I can't believe this, but I actually excited with Chris in that moment. Yeah. How long will that last? Yeah, I'll see. So it's November. And he has said three weeks.

So for all of November, Libby is not to talk to Chris. That's important information. Every day she's going for a walk and more plants are returning to the house. And so there are just so many plants. But Libby gets a therapist. We love that. So happy if you love therapy.

Yes. We love that. SAPPERFUL YOU LOVE THERAPY! Yes. And Alejandra delivers to Libby their PhD students a stack of queer lit books and is like, consider these. And to her credit, she does the reading. She reads the books, she's getting a therapist, she's trying to get it together. That's wonderful. One Monday, a few weeks after her call with Chris, she comes up to Alejandra and she's like, what are you doing later this week?

And Alejandra's like, what are you working on my dissertation? Like, what are you talking about? And Libby's like, oh, it's Thanksgiving like what are you doing for Thanksgiving? And Alejandra's like, well, it's pandemic. So nothing my plan was to just like be here alone, you're here. And Libby's like, well, do you want to spend it with me? Do you want to have Thanksgiving together? See, now see, I thought this is going to happen when Alejandro got the pizza. I'm just saying, and then it won another way. But keep going.

Do you think that she should have Thanksgiving with Libby? Oh, yes, see what I'm saying. Yeah, at this point, just that's what I can see. And that's what I was thinking when the pizza came out. But now Thanksgiving, yeah, I was going to say, Thanksgiving can be romantic. Oh, can it? Yeah.

All the hunters like listen. I'm not that into Thanksgiving. Like, it's not a big holiday for me. But if you want to get trashed and, like, order some Chinese food, I could be into that. I like that. They get Chinese food. They're doing shots.

Oh, my God. They're like drunk enough that they're doing, like, living room karaoke. Oh, wow. This is cute, though. Do you think this is going to end without an issue? Oh this is going to completely blow up in their faces. This is this is all going to hell in the hand basket so fast. Yeah it ends with them flukking. But then after that, because if, because if the seat now seat, but after that, if this

was going to end and I have on a happy note, this would be like on modern love or something. This would not be on normal gossip. But good for them. I saw that one coming. But good for them. Good for them. So, you know, Alejandra wakes up Friday after Thanksgiving under her beautiful,

theoderald ceiling with Libby and her bed. And she's like, did I make a huge mistake? Yeah, you don't do things like that where you live. She's like, you know, it's like very convenient to sleep with your roommate. But also, she's like a baby gay and she seems to be going through a lot of things and she's like a little annoying.

How do you think Alejandra should play this? I don't know, well, tell me thing for a second because I've never been in such a dire situation. For a planned situation, yeah. I usually would avoid something like this. That would be wise. I'm gonna say this. I think that she's just gotta,

I think she's just gotta write it out at this point. You know what I'm saying? I wouldn't, I would, what does write it out mean though? That's a good question. Wait, do they get married? That's a good question. That's a good question.

That's a good question. There's many ways to think about that. You can write it out in many ways. Okay, so what I would say is, is like, okay, how old are these people about? Like early 30s? Okay. Because I was gonna say,

they're like four years, five years into a year. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. So, because this was me at 25, I would be like, I would just keep having sex in my roommate. You know what I'm saying? It's like the worst idea that seems like the most fun. Right. So I would just like, I would ride that out and then just whatever happens happens.

But I'm 35 now. I'm a more mature woman than the people in this story. You're grown. But I was recently in my early 30s, and what I probably would do is just be like, hey, look, this was really fun. I think you're a really cool person. But I just, I don't, I see this ending really poorly

with us living together. And I think that like we should just maybe take some space. If that means you want me to stay at a friend's house for a little while, or you want to go stay someplace else, let's take like a week or so, let's recalibrate, and then let's try to maintain a healthy living situation. But that didn't happen because they were too. Very democratic.

Does anyone up here vehemently disagree with that? Would like to say their piece. I see someone over here. I don't know where Jasper. Yay! Keep your from the Midwest, pack your car and drive away. Yeah. All the Houdra is like, I'm just going to lay it out for her.

Like, once she gets up, I'm going to be like, hey, this was really fun. But I don't think it's a super good idea. I just don't think this is great. We live together, it could in poorly. That's really fun, but not again. And she does this. She lays this out for her. And she's like, Libby, also, if you're kissing me,

you should probably break up with Chris. Oh my God, I forgot about him. I wasn't even thinking about Chris. Libby's like, oh, Libby's like we're on a break, but like, yes, you're right. Yeah. So she and Chris are on the phone for hours. And at the end of it, they end broken up.

So she tells, Libby tells Chris what happened. Oh, no, no, no. She just breaks up with him. And now see. Oh, no. And now see. Now see when you do things like now, when you do clonery like that, the clown comes back to bite.

And this is the thing because Chris doesn't know what happens. See, that puts a target on how it, how it happens back. For no reason. At this point, the only the only option left is to box Libby. That's it. We have to fight.

Put me in that situation. That's like you put me in a bad situation. So okay, I can't even fight. I don't know why I was there. Do you think that they can live together and not kiss? No.

Yeah. And now Libby's single. Yeah, but go on. Yeah, okay. So they are, of course, kissing, smooching almost immediately after Libby breaks up with Chris. And this goes on for all of the winter of 2020. Yeah, of course. Of course. Now they are like dating. All the Honduras friends are like, what are you doing?

Now see. Now they're group chat. I know how to be. Your friends are like, you're wearing each other's clothes. And remember how Libby and Chris were always kissing all the time? That is a Libby thing. So now, Ahonda and Lib were always kissing all the time? That is a Libby thing. So now Alejandra and Libby are kissing all the time. And her Alejandra's friends are just like, are you kidding? Like, why are you doing this?

I mean, that's like, I mean, think about where they started the year. I know. Alejandra was going to kill these people. I know. And now she and Libby are dressed up like the sweet valley twins. I know. I know. Okay. This goes on January, February, March, they're together for all of this.

We are now in April of 2021, which you may remember is when people began getting vaccinated. And so an email goes out from the department, from Dr. Vance, the head of the history department, and he's like, once you are vaccinated, you are expected back on campus. What's the problem here? Chris has to come back. Chris has to come back. Oh, and I don't think this is going in like a throttball situation. I don't think it's going in a throttball direction. Chris is moving back. And you have a log problem? Because you have two bedrooms and three people.

No. Oh no. And Libby is like, I'll just stay in your bedroom. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. I mean, this is, wait, so she says, I'll just stay in your bedroom. Yeah. Well, she's like, I could. But she did. That's the solution. Chris, what was going on?

Uh-huh. So he's supposed to just come back and find this out. And then everything's just going to be fine. It's over. Everything's supposed to be fine. Oh, yeah. Oh, light liby. She's so messy.

How do you think Alejandro should handle this, though? Now, that's what she needs to get in her car and drive away. This is about to blow up. This situation is going to be bad. I see this is the thing. Again, it's hard for me to call misery with Alejandro because I would never have got myself in a situation. Right.

And I know people say that, but I can say confidently. I have avoided so many situations that were kind of messy. Not like this way. But yeah, because this is unique. I would tell, I would honestly try to leave, and then be on that, if that was an option, I would just tell Libby what it was. I would say like, look, Chris is coming back.

You need to be honest with him. And you have to be like, you have unfinished business with him, and you need to be honest with him. And you have unfinished business with him, and you need to be honest with him. You need to figure that out. That's not my job. That's not what I'm here to do. And so, you know, whatever happens happens with you all, but I'm out.

Good luck. Yeah. Good luck. Does anyone done here disagree with that? Over here. Over yelling. Hold on. Wait for Alex to get to you.

Oh, hold on. Right, wave your hand. Which one of you is yelling? Okay, way back here. Here she comes. I'm coming. Thank you, Alex. Oh. So I feel very strongly in opposition because I think that like A, whose name is on the

lease and B, why would you want to live with someone's ex anyway? Okay? These are great points. No one's name is on the lease because this is a college house and it's like unclear What's going on there? Wow all a hundred All a hundred like kind of tells Libby. She's like this is your problems figure it out Oh my hundred and I I will say like, on the macro level, like, you're thinking we're not making the same decisions. But when it comes down to it, she's real in that way. Yeah, except that the decision that Libby makes is,

remember how there was that weird, tiny study? She's like, I'll live in the study, but like new, Libby, and Chris can live in the big bedroom and all 100 can live in the cathedral ceiling and it'll be fine. Libby is, I'm gonna tell you something. Libby don't have the four to two to stay in the study.

Yeah. She's not strong enough. She's not strong enough. But she thinks she is. Yeah, she thinks she's a lot of things, I mean, but strong enough to stay in the study is not one of them. Chris returns home. Everyone's vaccinated. He returns back to the house to his nice, like, big bedroom with an ensuite bathroom,

and two things are immediately obvious to him. The first one is that the house is fucking full of plants. The second is that Alejandra and Libby are clearly fucking. So he came home to like, like an Amazonian sexton line. Yes. But that's kind of a pro. Yes. Chris says, even though it is clear that he knows what's going on, he says nothing. He's like, I will just live in this tension until someone tells me. I like that. Which makes all a hundred question things. She's like,

huh, it's a little weird, why am I dating Libby? Like this is, huh. We've been trying to tell you. Yeah, we've been trying. She didn't try to tell you. Did not listen to us. Oh, God. Oh, I heard it next time. Call me. I'll help you. Do you remember Dr. Brody's seminar? Yeah. Can you tell me what you remember about it? Just to recap, I feel like.

Oh, oh, because Dr. Brody did not get the fantasy role. They gave her this speaker lecture series thing where she could have seminar where she had people come in and there's wine. It's like a, it's cute. It's cute. So Dr. Rudy Seminar, this whole time has been going on, right, like online. Has anybody been going? Yeah, everybody's going.

Okay. Because it's been online and everyone was so bored. So everyone has been going. It's been like, you know, receiving a lot of praise. Everyone's really liking it. This is great. Because schools back in session, and now everyone's on campus, Dr. Vance been like, you know, receiving a lot of praise. Everyone's really liking it. This is great because school's back in session. And now everyone's on campus. Dr. Vance is like, this will be happening in person.

So all 100 in Libya are going to this seminar every week because they're like, there's free wine there. And the lectures are good. And like, it's a brief period of time that we cannot be near Chris who is just like a ball of tension, who lives in our house. So even going every week, it's great. And at the beginning of every week, they email out

to everyone on this list, serve the agenda for that week's like lecture. And before the last lecture of the school year, they send out the agenda and a like very old man replies all Okay, and is like Who appointed you to be in charge of this lecture series? Who said you could change everything about this program and like what it used to stand for? Like it is obscene that you have changed this lecture series and like Dr. Vance agrees with me.

So this is just some old man. Uh-huh. Okay. It's important to note that this email with the agenda is going out to everyone in the history department, but also everyone who has ever attended this lecture online or in percent. Oh my gosh. So it is a very, very large list serve, and it creates a

reply all nightmare. Because immediately everyone is like replying to this man to be like, you're wrong or like, I agree with this man. Chaos. Out your selves, you agree with this man. Oh my God. Chaos. Attack. Reply all nightmare. All 100 Libby are like, this is our favorite television show. They go down to the kitchen table. They open their laptops. They're watching the like emails whirlwind.

But they're also like, Dr. Brody is our advisor and we support her. And this man is attacking her and saying that he has like the backing of the head of the program which is like a pretty big accusation. Pause. Okay. This old man is his identity confirmed? Have I confirmed it? No I'm just saying and within the world of the story do we know that this is just some Randall Randall man or it? Yes, we do know this, because I was like, good conspiracy brain, but no. Randaman. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So their question is like, she's our advisor, what like, duty do we have to her? Should we respond to this reply, Althread? Oh, you're asking me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Nessie, I have to support this black woman. Of course, I'm going to reply to the thread. You're going to reply to the thread.

And be like, I support Dr. Brody. I probably say something really mean. I would say something way more than that. But yeah, I would be like, I support this black woman. Yeah. Yeah. Does anybody up there disagree and think it's a bad idea to reply to the thread?

Somebody in the back, right here. Just for if you're finding someone. I would not. I would just talk to Dr. Brody like one-on-one. I think that just kind of support her, maybe send it to like the whole history department, but not everybody on the list serve. OK.

OK. Alejandra and Libby like have this conversation, and they're like, you know, what should we do? department but not everybody on the list served. Okay. Okay. Allahadra and Libby like have this conversation and they're like, you know, what should we do? They're like kind of settling on the idea of like going to Dr. Roti's office and being like, we've brought you a coffee. What can we do to help? Hmm.

While they are having this conversation, you know, there's the little like, pudding on the computer because another email has come into the reply all chain and who has replied but Chris? Yes. Yes. And what did Chris's email say? Chris's email says, Oh, God.

She did ask for your input. When she took over this program earlier this year, she sent out an email. She said, if you have any questions or concerns, you can email me whenever you want. And none of you did. So actually, you don't have a leg to stand on here. She is well within her rights.

Chris, we are surprised. I'm surprised. I'm shocked. Because Chris wrote so hard for Dr. Vance. You know what I'm saying? And he was so into World War I history. He had me. He had me in the first half.

He did. He had me in the first half. And it's interesting because now some of the things that Chris has said and done make sense. Continue, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm really letting that sink in. Okay, so Chris responds. All hundred Libby are like, is Chris good? Like, huh.

While they're like debating this, whether Chris is good or not and like rereading his email, another like, another email. Another old person has replied. They have said, things are really going downhill fast at this university. The students are dictating everything. This on top of the recent thefts directly against director Vance will not be tolerated. Oh my God.

Libby and Alejandra are like, what thefts? What thefts? After weeks of not speaking, Chris comes like tombling down the stairs, he's like, what thefts? After weeks of not speaking, Chris comes like Tom bullying down the stairs. He's like what thefts? And you see how mass brings people together? And they're like we have no idea. We we don't know. Sorry. The next day, a cool 24 hours after this scandal, Dr. Brody replies to the reply all email. And she. And she says, you know, I was appointed by Dr. Advance. He believes in me, the allegations against me are not true.

Chris is right. I did give you an opportunity to say that you had problems and those avenues are still open. I won't be changing the program at all, but whoever has been stealing the plants. And that's what I knew. And that's what I knew. I knew she had been stealing the plants. And that's what I knew. And that's what I knew. I knew she had been selling those plants.

I knew she sold those plants. All of the plants from the university offices and buildings not only must stop, but needs to return one specific plant, a big prickly pair cactus from Dr. Vance's personal collection. Yeah! Allahandra is reading this email in her bed. She looks up in what does she see in front of her, but Dr. Bence's prized prickly pear cactus. What, whissa, what do you even, what did you even do at that point? Yeah, unfortunately that's the question I'm supposed to ask you.

the question I'm supposed to ask you. I at that point I'm gonna have to be like Calvin and get a job at McDonald's because I need to cover this extra wreck because Libby has to go. Libby cannot stay at the apartment anymore. She has got to go. She is a liar, but she, her, and a thief. You don't have people like that in your house. You don't have people like that in your house. So you're going to confront her. I'm telling her she's got to go. I'm getting a bag and I'm putting her ship in it

and walking her outside. She's gotta go. Allahundra is going to yell at her. She goes like running down the stairs and she finds Libby in a Libby room and Chris is already there and he is already yelling and he is saying, you stole them. And Libby is crying and she's like,

I was having a hard time and Chris is like, take all of these plants back. And Libby is like, take all of these plants back. And Lydia's like, the plants were dying. Like, it was the pandemic, the plants were dying. I brought them here to save them. No, not see that. This is the thing. It's a nice gesture, but what kind of person have we already seen, Libby, to be?

Remember. Remember. This is how she gets people. She manipulative. Chris is like, I don't care what your intentions were. Our house is full of stolen plants. Please, take them back. And Libby is like, and Chris is also like, you know, Dr. Bernie said no questions asked. Like, just take them back. Right. And Libby's like, well, I can't take all the plans by myself. There are a hundred of them. You will be taking all the plans by yourself, Libby. Chris is like, I'm not going to help you. Thank you.

And she turns to Alejandra. And she's like, will you help me? Oh. Are you helping her? Absolutely not. No. She better, the same way she walked it out and she got all those plants into the apartment. She needs to welcome right back over there. That's not my job. This is the end of our story but Alejandra does help her.

She because at this point she needs a literal you haul to get all of these plants back. Okay. We have to do it again. And Alejandra Blossomard tried, she helps her. But she is like, you have to confess. You have to take these in there and you have to tell Dr. Brody and you have to give Dr. Vance this back in person. That's what they agree on. Wow. Good.

I mean, what? Go ahead. I just, I never would have done that. Yeah. I never would have done that. It was very moral. Yeah, that was, I mean, it was nice. It was a kind thing to do.

But mm-mm, mm-mm. Who's side are you on at the end of our story of all of these characters? I'm on my side, okay? I'm on my side. Who's side? Wait, so who are my options? Who do I get to choose from?

You could choose whoever you want from the story. Any of them? Oh, um, Dr. Brody. Yeah. Yeah. Dr. Brody's side. Would you like a final update? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Okay, so when they took the plants back, Dr. Brody was like, thank you so much. No questions asked. Thanks for bringing these back. Like, I do not care. Dr. Brody's so classy, because I would have been like, OK, I have a couple questions. Alejandra got some research gig and an archive for the summer.

So she left. And then in the fall, she did not move back into that house. She was absolutely not. I won't be doing this again. And she's defending her thesis in the spring. Congratulations. I love her educated queen. Libby still lives in the house.

And she lives there with Chris, because they're back together. Yeah. Oh, you know what though? What, they should stay together. They should stay together. Because that was so, that was too much. That was just too much for me. It was a lot. But, you know, that was like, honestly, one of the best stories ever.

I'm so sad it's over. Thank you. I thank you all so much for coming out to the show tonight. Thank you to Brittany for being so game. Thank you to our team, Alex, Tudon Loughlin, J. Tolviera, Dan McQuade, Jasper Wang, and the rest of the defector staff have a great night! Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip.

If you have a gossip story to share with us, email us at NormalGossip at Defector.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 gossip. If you love this podcast and want us to keep making it, become a friend or a friend of a friend at supportnormalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at NormalGossip. You can follow Kelsey on all social media at McKinneyCalsie. This podcast was produced by me, Alexey Zhang Laughlin. Justin Ellis is defectors' project's editor.

Jasper Wang and Sean Coon are defectors' business guys. Tom Lay is our editor-in-chief. J-Tol Viera is our associate producer. Dan McQuade runs our merch store, which you can find at normagossip.store. Terragicopie designed our show art. Normagossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney. I'm Alex Sujong Laughlin, and remember, you did not hear this from me.

Thanks!