Not Another D&D Podcast - 8-Bit Book Club: "The Hexer" (Original 2001 Polish Witcher Movie)

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

The Book Buds / View Crew and their Guest Producer Jake Hurwitz return to Kaehr Morhen to review the "The Hexer," the original 2001 polish-language version of the Witcher. Surrounded by Bad GGI and Laughable Puppets, the Crew seeks the legendary Silver Lining Sword so that they can slay this incredibly long movie and attempt to give it a better rating than it ever deserved. Happy Viewing, travelers! CREDITSProduction and Editing by Trevor LyonSONGS"8-Bit Book Club Theme" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to 8-bit book club or the View Crew. We might be changing the name, we're not sure. It's time for a refresh. We're thinking about a rebrand. We're thinking about a rebrand because we didn't watch anything about video games. Yeah, yeah. And much like the Hexer, we're becoming the Witcher. Yes.

Oh, I guess the Witcher can be related to video games, but the movie we watched preceded the movie Heavards I Believe. We haven't read a book about a video game in a very long time, which the song specifically mentions. A couple of times. Well, reading books is hard and takes a lot of time and also it's been- So this fucking movie, God damn,

this is the longest two hours of my life. This movie has started off and I really liked everyone's costumes, so I thought I was gonna be in, but then they just kept introducing new characters. Yeah, dude. I love the credits I love the credits when the credits were going on. I was like damn. I think I might actually Starts off so strong. Murf, do you want to like give us an intro as to what we're talking about before? Yeah, okay, so this is the hexa aka the Witcher

This is the first attempt to bring the Witcher to the screen. This is a Polish movie from, I believe 2001, I don't have any of this stuff in front of me because we're just gonna kind of rip and talk about this stuff. 2001 is correct. Great. I won the test.

It was released in 2001. I believe it spawned a television series, which I will say right off the bat, this would have worked better as a TV series. And I'll tell you why. Fun fact. Yeah. Colville is going to say the same fun fact as I am, right?

Go ahead. He beat me to the fact. Deliver it. Who has the fun fact? Just somebody fucking talk. I'm getting fun fact blue balls here. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

I want to, I want to, I want to fun fact. I want to fun fact. It says. It was in production as a TV show when they turned it into that movie. Bad call. Really? It did feel like a bunch of episodes of TV strung together because it would blow up and then another lol.

And then up and then another expose of the lol. And the reason it felt like that is because that's what it was. That's what it was. That's exactly it was. Got exactly what happened here. This dude was knocked out in every scene and woke up in the next scene, either captured or being nursed by a friend in literally every cut. I'm not joking, seven times.

He had so much poultry supply to him that I was trying to get a little jealous that Murph has never applied poultice. It's really, I mean, it speaks to Geralt's character that so many people are willing to apply poultice. And it still happens a lot. There's a lot in the game and it happens when I'm on the books. Murph, what if I love languages having poultice applied to me?

You have to get knocked out in the woods more often. I need to save you. Have you never gathered herbs and put them into a little bag? She's never knocked out in the woods. What are you doing? You don't have to add a bottle of scabbling. I put a bottle of scabbling to your wrists the other day after you rollerbladed.

That's true. You got poltest? I got poltest. I put some tiger bomb in my chest. She had some tiger bomb after I was doing some sick grind. And by that, I mean, I was doing a bad job and thus falling out of ledge over and over again because I did not have wrist guards at the time.

But now I do. You just bought inline skates, right? Just bought some inline skates, yeah. Wow. Which imagine bringing you back to the Witcher if he had been on skates rather than a horse. Yeah. I'm gonna say something right off the bat.

It might sound weird. The horses moved wrong in this. Ha ha ha. There were, there was like a horse body at one point. That was like supposed to be a dead horse body, I think that wasn't right. One thing I struggled with was multiple characters looked different from shot to shot. So like all of this stuff was Pavella's,

series mom in the beginning. I kept thinking it was two different characters Okay, yeah, right. I don't know if someone doing makeup was like not on the continuity or if you told me they were swapping out actors I would believe you because that's how different I think it might have because of the TV aspect Somebody is like I actually can't make this episode That's what made this because one of the things that made this such a joyless watch that was one of one of the worst ways I've spent two hours recently and I've been rollerblading and kind of injured This was way worse. I do love it. I was just making a little look just a little. Yeah, you need to get pulltist after this movie

I need to get pulltist after this movie But one of the things that was so so bad about this is that the acting was pretty good. And thus the movie wasn't even fun. Yeah. Zabrowski was really given her dissolve. I think everyone was good. It was Zabrowski. It was the witcher.

I thought he did a good job. It was a slightly different take on Jarre. On Jarre? On Jarre. Well, because we had been talking earlier about how we almost named our cat, Gris Garell, and how he would have been Jarre or Gary. Yeah, because we had been talking earlier about how we almost named our cat, Gris, Geralt, and how he would have been Jerry or Gary. Yeah, that's true.

So then I had that in my head. That's the problem with Geralt as a name, is like in the real world, people are just going instantly go to Jerry. They're going to instantly go to Jerry. Jerry or Gary, you could do Gary. Yeah, which I can't believe in the entirety, well, if you've read some of the books,

does anyone ever call him Gary in the books? Absolutely not. Absolutely no, Gary. Not even one Gary. One Gary. I can see you ask you're pulling that. Yeah. So one of the reasons this was like kind of a joyless mess

is that the acting was pretty good. Yeah, so even there was one part that was really funny where he kills a bunch of soldiers in front of a bunch of kids. And it's just so, he literally, the guy's like, get him, and then he just throws a spear through his chest. A bunch of children run away.

That part was very funny. The rest of the movie was not funny. It was just sitting there being like, fuck, I hate this movie. Some of the special effects though had, like, none of the CGI, I don't, it's not any of this, but some of the, like, practical special effects were pleasingly...

Terrible. Yeah, there was the scene where Povella screams, and she does that sort of sonic screen. And they put it through an audio thing that makes it legitimately unpleasant to hear. Well, I was gonna say what happens in the room is that it's the practical tankards exploding, and you just have all these

shots that you know is just a PA throwing a chair or or like a candlelaubro against the wall. It's like a thing really hard on the table. Yeah. And then there was just like stuff they were doing with light. Like when they were inside that scene, there's at one point where like there's a guy standing in front of a table with minimal set dressing, like just a candlelobe. Oh yeah. There's nothing hung, there's not even a tapestry behind him. It's just an orange wall and he's in a cheap costume. And I'm like, this looks like a production of like a high school play. Yeah, but see, that's, I think that's why I think they're pleasingly like a low budget.

Sometimes because it does feel like a stage play, so I forgive it. I actually thought the costumes were pretty good except for the Flintstone twins. Yeah, there were, there were, there were two, yeah, women that showed up in like lepre print at one point. Yeah, it felt like the main characters had good costumes and then every single background character that was where they decided to save. Yeah, one point, Renfrey showed up and she looked pretty good

and I was kind of surprised. I was like, huh, this looks like a real save. Yeah, one point, Renfree showed up and she looked pretty good and I was kind of surprised. I was like, huh, this looks like a real character. Yeah. But anyway, so just to give a light synopsis of what's going on here, because we cannot recommend that you watch this. No, this isn't even fun. Although you can see it, you can see it just on YouTube,

so you can scrub around. You can just scrub around. And there's a scrub. There are gonna be ads. Two hours. Two hours of your life, you then first scrub. There are gonna be ads. Two hours. Two hours of your life, you could do something so meaningful. Two full hours.

So basically, this was the first attempt to adapt the books, because the video game wasn't even out yet. This was 2001, and it kind of like Jake was saying, it was supposed to be a TV show. So it jumps around from story to story while trying to have the kind of ongoing thing of Geralt chasing Siri.

So it's kind of like the Witcher Netflix series, but just so, so much worse and so much more confusing. And I would say the Witcher Netflix series is pretty confusing with time jumps. This was way more confusing. Imagine if all of his missions took place in five to 10 minutes. Yes, yes. With all of season one, each episode is 10 minutes in this.

It would literally cut from somebody talking about something that you thought was going to happen next and then it would just cut to a different mission. It would be like, that man is a problem and then it would just cut to a different man. And you'd be like, huh? Well, that's not, there's just were too many characters. Yeah, so if you're familiar with the story at all It starts with the series parents. It starts with the the head chock guy who comes to claim Paveta is her name. Yeah, yeah

Donnie and Paveta. Yeah, there's the big fight at the wedding Geralt helps and then there's the law of surprise, so he's gonna get Siri later. So the headchild guy, best look and CGI in the movie. He didn't look that weird. I think that she was practical. Yeah. I think he was practical too.

He looked good. So that's why other practical effects were terrible. We're terrible. Aside from the tankers blowing up, that was cool. So the tankers was great. I like that worm at the beginning. I think that's one of the problems with it. I think I did too.

I was about to beat the drag. The worm? The dragon cubs? No, not the dragon cubs. I couldn't agree to disagree on the freaking worm. You gotta remember that it's 2001. This is almost 10 years after Jurassic Park. So it's not smaller film making.

Yeah, filmmaking a world of pop and pop it. I don't think it's available. They made a bad puppet. I think that what makes it a little bit unforgivable is the fact that when you see stuff like the hedgehog, you're like, oh, if you guys just condensed this into a movie where it was just, you know, I think it's the Striga, right?

Is the story that is also in in the TV series where Geralt has to spend like a night in this castle trying to like basically hunt this like vampire woman. If they had just done a story like that and did practical effects on one human-esque monster, they absolutely could have nailed it. Because there's some good costume design. There's some good set design in some of the castles,

in some of the taverns they look legit, and just that one monster looks good. And the acting is great. Acting is great. I think I can be pretty forgiving of, I think that I'm forgiving of bad puppets, I'm not forgiving of bad-seed kind of. Totally, totally.

But I guess what I'm saying is you could have just used, like there's specifically, there's creatures called like drowners and stuff that are just like monsters that come out of the water. You could have just gotten a guy wet. You could have just covered a guy in mud. And had him swing zombies. Just get a muddy guy in there and have him

try and attack Geralt. More muddy guys. We're not even excited. They might have been excited to try. They were excited. They got excited about their work. The shots that they got to like try to make the puppets work were always just like a super close up of a tentacle instead of like, yeah. And then they like matched that with the puppets work. We're always just like a super close-up of a tentacle

instead of like, yeah. And then they like match that with Geralt's shots. So it's just like, I mean, the fight scenes were almost unwatchable. So that's another thing is that, is that the sword fighting scenes were even good. Like, the moment when he didn't, the moment when Geralt was unhanded and didn't have his sword

and just took a couple punches to get his sword back, I was like, I think this is the best fight I've seen the entire time. Yeah, everyone runs at him with their arm up like this. Both arms outstruck. Yeah, he kills everyone in one swipe. That's right. It's supposed to be Geralt is like superhuman. He's isn't then falls off their horse. I think it's supposed to be Geralt is super human, fighting against good swordsmen,

and he's just better, but this is just Geralt's a good swordsman in everyone else's world. Just Geralt, like, splashing at the camera and then guys going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's like they were spun around 10 times and then someone put a sword in their hands. They just run at him like waving. Yeah, they wave it like it's a mace or something

or like a morning star. What's that, a flail? I mean, they definitely put perhaps okay. I'm that's truthful to some armies. Yeah. So this was, so the first thing was him establishing the law of surprise with Siri. So it's Siri's parents. Then it cuts to God. I have no, I don't even fucking remember. I think then we go to the gold dragon.

Oh my God. Then it goes to that gold dragon thing, which was not great CGI. It looked like, okay, but at least in my favorite moment. Your favorite moment, deeply. Yeah, my favorite moment is when they're all like staring over the cliff at the gold dragon. And like clearly the actors had not seen the CGI yet. So the reactions are all like, it's beautiful.

Yeah, it's amazing. It is mean to do the actors, right? To have them talk about how good something looks and then put in the worst CGI. And then put in a cinematic from Warcraft 2. Yeah, in 1993. Fucking like Pete's dragon ass looking thing with big eyes. It looked like, it did look like children's animation too.

Like big eyes. Look, you're old. They didn't have to do any of this. Like I understand. I know that you don't have a big budget, but you don't have to do any of this. Like I understand. I know that you don't have a big budget, but you don't have to do the dragon story. My favorite part though was there was a little puppet dragon cub that Yennefer chases and then she gets the dragon cub.

And then I don't know what happens to her for the rest of the movie. Yes, she's just gone. She's just gone. But Yennefer helps her get this dragon cub and then she's everyone away who was trying to kill the dragon cub. And then it's him, Yasker, Yennefer, and the dragon cub.

And he says, well, it looks like it's just you, me, a dragon cub, and a poet. And I was like, wow. I'd watch that show. Yeah. Yeah. Because the dragon cub kind of looks like one of the little aliens from men in black.

And it's just like, yeah, a practical puppet going, yeah, yeah. It kind of looks like figment from little aliens from Men in Black. And it's just like a little practical puppet going, and it kind of looks like figment from Disney. Oh god, that's probably one of those. All these dragons for figment-esque dragons. Very figment-esque. Keep back to fucking Epcot with these dragons, you hear me? Yeah. So yeah, so it literally cuts from this establishing that series parents are getting together,

too. Geralt, at a bar with this dude, who is just being kind of fishy the whole time, and it just keeps talking about dragons for some reason. Of course he is. This was probably supposed to be a beginning of an episode.

Yes, yes, yes. So this is obviously, and they did this in the book, and they did this in the Witcher TV show, which is this guy's like on a mission, but it turns out that he's secretly the dragon that everybody's trying to hunt. Yeah, so this dragon basically reveals himself at some point, stops, like, kills a bunch of the hunters by dropping rocks on them.

It's beautiful. Everyone says it's beautiful. That's true, but in his school, because he starts the rock slide by flipping a coin onto a bunch of pebbles, and then the pebbles start cascading down the hill. That's one of his horror powers. A good thing was when Geralt was drunk and he was talking to, I believe, the dragon. Oh, yeah. And then he was talking about, I don't remember this from the TV show that we watched or the video game that we played.

He was talking about how, like, the guy was like, is there any monster you won't kill? And Geralt's like dragons, because dragons ran away from humans. So, human hunt dragons, dragons hunt sheep, and everything else, but they don't hunt humans. And I was like, whoa, this is pretty sick. Yeah, I wanna put one point on the good Geralt counter

because this actor, I feel like, really had some fun Geralt moments that like set him apart and like really made me enjoy watching him. Yeah. And like him like passionately defending dragons. I'm like getting a little heated. And like looked like he was about to start a bar fight with this guy about him. Yeah. And like him like passionately defending dragons. Am I getting a little heated? And like looked like he was about to start a bar fight with this guy about dragons.

It was really great. And then the Flintstones babes were like macking on him. And he was, and he was just still talking about how beautiful he thought dragons were. I've seen this guy at a bar doing this exact thing. It was a real move that he only asked one of the women what their name was.

He was like, I don't have any turns to the left and he says, what's your name? And then he tells me he says, that's pretty. And then it cuts. Just like in a world that is absolutely never seen a leopard. And they're wearing leopard skin dresses. Yeah. That's a thing that is just like, just don't do leopard print. Like either just get some, get some fur that looks real.

Yeah. There's definitely like bears here. There's wolves. Don't do leopard deer. Yeah. So Halloween costume fakes. It was very, very interesting. So yeah, so you're probably wondering,

how did we get from this wedding with the hedgehog guy to the dragon? It just cuts there. I think a couple panoramic shots of nature. There was some really beautiful nature. That is true. There are exteriors where I'm point. So we probably just saw the sun setting over Poland.

Yeah, but that's because at this point in the movie, we haven't met Yaskier yet. I think we meet Yaskier in this scene. And then every subsequent transition is accompanied by Yaskier singing a weird song about Geralt, which is pretty great, but like the bard is very fun. Yaskier, the actor does a very good job, but he's like, not that good as singer.

So it's always like, I noticed that. Yeah, his singing voice is okay, but like the lyrics he's trying to sing just don't seem to fit for some reason. So it's always just him, he's like, and then the sunflower fell, and the petals drifted across the beach, and so too did Geralt go to another land. Yeah, just the right, the screenwriter was just like,

please hire a musician. And they're like, yeah, this is fine. This guy's good now. We got an actor who notes how to hold or an instrument. Yeah, yeah. Let's finish just doing a quick description. Let's get literally nothing happens in this fucking movie. Well, everything happens and so nothing happens

if that makes sense. That's true, that's a good idea. So after the dragon, who the fuck knows what happens? He ends up going to, he's at a temple with like a bunch of like sorceresses. Mother Ninneke. Yes. And there he meets Siri, who had run away

from Cintra when it was burned. That was like her kingdom. They show the war of Cintra with one shot, which is just like a flame transition on a castle Yes, it was a good way to be like, wait, is over Done. Okay, so they're at this Sorcerer's is temple. He meets Siri. Sorceress is temple. He meets Siri. Siri applies poltis to his wounds. applies poltis to the second. The second second. The biggest fat sack of herbs on our boy.

Yeah, we're half an hour in this man's had herbs rubbed on him twice. She got to get risk guards. They've got like a little they've got like a little connection. He's hanging out at the at the temple. And then there's a seer that's like ruin is coming here. We've got to get away. And he's like cool.in is coming here. We've gotta get away and he's like, cool, I'll take Siri and go and the mother there is like, no you won't and he's like, okay, so he leaves without her.

And then bad guys come in this two hour movie for some reason they introduce a Nilfgaard, the like empire, but then also Rodania, the like racist army. They introduced two like factions that just did not need to be in this, because it's not what it was about. If it was a TV show, TV shows

that show all the time. And also, you know, you obviously, you can have multiple factions in a movie, but for the purposes of this movie, it was just people were hunting Siri. You did not need everybody involved. Is Rodania the go-t guy? Yes.

Like the order of the white rose or whatever. So that's here's the even fucking weirder thing. Not only were there two factions, that guy was also betraying his like officers that were higher up than him. He was his commanding officer. Is that the guy that told Geralt he was gonna kill him in the beginning of the movie? Yeah, yeah. In the the beginning of the movie they show Geralt getting transformed into a witcher and he catches somebody.

He catches a bandit doing bandit stuff and tells on him and then the bandit's like, I'm gonna get you someday. And Geralt's like, no, I'm gonna get you. Actually, this is crazy because this movie came out in 1988, but that's kind of the premise of Childsplay, the Chuckie movie. Yeah. It is, that is kind of, we did watch Chuckie last night. So it's fresh and all the fun.

Yes, I guess the only difference is that he doesn't die and have his spirit put in a doll. Unless, did I miss that part? I feel like the most important part of Childsplay is actually the criminals revenge story. Yeah. That's what I remember when I was a kid. What's up with this doll stuff?

Come on, let's get through this. So where were we? So yeah, so this bad guy that was a bandit who's working for the second faction, who's working against the second faction, comes to this temple, kills everyone, but Siri gets out. Then Geralt basically gets into it with Nilfgaard and the Rodania guys. This guy is found out to be a snake that he's hiding Siri.

Not an actual snake. Not an actual snake. Oh, that's a clear lie. Then Geralt kills this guy in one hit. Oh, yeah. One shot. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify. I have to clarify.

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that they land on. Yeah, soaked his blade in heart attack oil in Beladonna poison. He won hit kills this guy. And then he goes to help literally another guy kill another monster. It's like a fifth story. Oh, yeah, the guy with a like conestoga wagon in the castle, who also wakes him up with a Drink not pulse It could have been a bunch of herbs that worse that could have been in a paltus But he decided well, I don't want to do women's healer work. I'm gonna give him a drink

Yeah, I'm gonna give him a drink. Let's call it three pulses is so far And then Geralt Geralt goes home with this guy and the woman there, his wife had adopted Siri because Siri had run away from the second time Geralt ran into Siri, so serious gaped. So she keeps on showing up wherever he is. She's not really doing any like, seeking, it is destiny, it is the child's surprise. Yeah, she was captured during that scene

where Geralt was killing all of the guys in front of children. Which is the only funny scene in the movie. Can I bring up something that was different in this movie compared to what I have seen? Cool. Geralt's beard is black. No, it wasn't that.

They review at one point that Geralt was a child of surprise. Yeah. Is that true of the books or the... Really, that'st was a child of surprise. Yeah. Is that true of the books or the... No, really, that's the one thing they add in. No, they add a ton of stuff in the movies terrible. And the books are, okay, they're pretty good. Yeah, but that's not in the books though. The child's surprise thing?

I don't think so. I mean, I like it because anytime someone says the phrase child's surprise, I laugh a little bit. So the more times they can say it, the better. There's that beginning was just like everyone being like, you know what, I'm also a child surprise. Wait, you're a child surprise. I'm a child surprise.

It's such a weird thing to claim as a reward too. It's like, ah, what do you save my life? What do you want? I would like the responsibility of a baby. Please, I am completely incorrect. Geralt responsibility of a baby. Play with him. I am completely incorrect. Geralt himself is a victim of the love surprise. Because the love surprise that Geralt was taken in as a witcher,

I am fucking incorrect. Well. So this movie is just canon. I'm sorry, everybody. It is the most accurate telling. Yeah, we can't knock it for that. That just makes sense, it's the first telling, right? Yeah, you want to get everything right.

Yeah. I do think that the love surprise specifically is like, it's not that you get their baby. It's just like anytime they have like a windfall of fortune or like anything comes to them. It's pretty vague. It seems kind of awesome, right? Yeah. We've someone's like, oh, thank you so much and you're trying to kind of shrug off. Like, it's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Just give me the next thing. Just, I don't know. Like, give me the next thing. Give me the next thing that you go home and you find out that you have. Like, thinking it's gonna be like,

oh, I got this like credit card delivered in the mail. Right. If somebody declared law of surprise on us, they would get a cat every time. Every time. Every time. Yeah. I always should be more and more law of surprise. I always would declare more law of surprise on us. Please, love surprise. I would love just be more love. It would be more love, surprise. Please love surprise me.

I would love just like a check. Honestly, if I could just have a check instead, but you want to lose a prize again, here's a bunch of kittens. Okay, geez. I mean, just like give like a car you could give me. No, the car's full of cats. I mean, love, surprise.

Literally, I'm always surprised by the cats. That show up. Yeah. Childs' prize does sound like a 90s toy brand. Yeah. I was gonna say, it seems like one of those little, like, um, you don't know what's gonna come in the box. You buy like the little surprise box. Oh, yeah, it's a blind box. Childs' surprise. I wonder what kind of child will be in here. And that was pound puppies. You didn't know how many dogs are gonna be in there. Yeah. This is freaking true. Yeah. Which is so messed up, right?

Cause that's devastating when you don't get that many. Right, I think they probably mostly, I think they said you could get like three to five. And I think you know you got low it. You must be so pissed. Yeah. I bet you nobody got three. I bet you that was a mock day.

I feel like I remember someone getting three. Really? That's feeling like I remember. I would sue. I would sue. The fun part of pound puppies isn't the dogs. It's getting to do a live dog birth delivery. Yeah, it's true.

And they can do that as many times as you want. It's getting to do a dog in labor. It's crazy when you're a little girl. How many maternity things people give you. I had multiple Barbies that had stomachs you could push in and put a baby in there and stuff like that. The babies that could piss were also so funny. It's like yeah, here's a doll that you don't have to worry about. But like let's give it an accident. Let's make it this. Let's let it piss a little bit. Kids love that shit. And then the tubes always, the tubes always get funky and then the baby just fills up with water. I love my mildew baby.

But yeah, in this movie, they did the whole like Siri and Geralt's story of like, Geralt chasing Siri and them coming together. They did that, plus they did the Hedgehog marriage story. They did the gold dragon. they did the Butcher of Blaviken, where Renfrey and the Bandits show up and cause trouble with Stregable. Oh, Stregable was up in there. Stregable was up in there. Good God, we can't escape him.

And then there's the Swamp Monster Guide that fights. Yeah, I was gonna say the Swamp Monster fight was probably the one that I feel like they got the least coverage for. Because that fight was just like, I think that they had maybe three shots total. Yeah, and did you fight that monster twice or did they just kind of have two identical monsters back to back? Always with the vines. Yeah, it's always with the vines.

Well, I mean, I think that's kind of like a recurring theme with like Polish folklore and monsters. It's like something's gonna get you. Something's in the swamp. Yeah. Something's gonna try and get you. Something's in the swamp. Something's in the swamp. But there was I think there was some for it for the like hedgehog guy looking pretty good. Yeah, I'm gonna say Honest to God B plus on the head we love a doony. We love a doony in this I like the big I liked the big creature. He brought out of the cave when he met everyone a dragon

Oh, he just like when he was wearing a headband from no Rea the Basilisk. Yeah, he showed up at one point dragging a basilisk So funny because like clearly everyone was like this isn't working for you girl And they just never you never seen with it. Yeah, he just got made fun of one time And we're just like I guess I lost it You take it did you take off that band because we made fun of you? It's taken from go off. I really liked it, but it probably took it from me. It's gonna take me a while to find a new one that fits perfectly. Until then, we should all forget about it.

We don't forget it ever happened. Yeah, I guess nothing is as cool as your wolf necklace. You're all in my wolf necklace. What the hell? What are you talking about? Oh, shit. Oh, I caught on this necklace. What the hell? What are you talking about? Oh, shit. Oh, I caught on this branch. I think the chain broke.

Shit. I've been living here. Everyone's done up now. He did take the wolf necklace off, though, to have some tasteful love-making with Yennefer. I noticed that, and I thought it was a little strange. Why do you have to take your necklace off to make love? Right. That's why she's fucking you in the first place.

Exactly. Yeah, the wolf necklace is cool. You leave that off. Yeah, the Wolf necklace is cool. You leave that out. She wants the visual. We talk about how Yinefro is introduced by saying, as you know, I can't have children, so I'm looking for a way to do that. That is like the first thing.

She speaks. There's some, I mean, a lot of this stuff is just the YouTube translation thing of, there's just some stuff that's like not going to translate perfectly. Like at one point point the guy comes out and because this is obviously this is all in Polish and a guy comes out to face the very bad CGI dragon that looks like a 1993 CGI from Warcraft and he says, you're a bad dragon.

And I think probably what the original line is is probably like like unacity beast or something like that. It's probably something like that but he just like calls him bad, like he's naughty or something. And it's just kind of funny. And then that you've been a very bad boy.

Then that dude gets one shot, tail swiped by the CGI dragon. I actually thought that was a cool shot. For like all the effects that were really bad, the POV through the visor with just a tail swinging towards him. That was a good way to get around it. Yeah, the helmet flying in the air as he clearly dies. Yeah, that's the thing.

It's the little candleabra getting thrown against a wall. Yeah, every once in a while, they show that they've got these tricks and stuff. And even the castle at the beginning, at the wedding, we were talking about just looks like it's in a VFW haul or at like a wedding reception. It was definitely just like they were like cool. So all we need to do is put some tablecloths on the tablecloths down right and have some nights to have a tablecloths on the tables on the walls on the feelings just cover everything in tablecloths. But some of them like your red tablecloths.

The taverns and stuff later looked really good. Oh, dude. The taverns looked great. I wanted to like, lark in this world. I know. There was one part where it looked straight out of the, when he first meets Dan DeLine, yes, here. It looked straight out of how he meets him in the 2021, or the 2020 year, which is when we're coming back. Do we think, do we think, again, we're

giving, we're experimenting with different perspectives to see this. Do we think it's possible that their budget got increased since it was being filmed like a TV show that they're starting to see daily. So they're like, we really got something here. We got to keep going. Let's put a little more money into it. Emily, I would say that, but the last fight scene

is like Geralt versus like four basically CGI Yoshi's Oh, there were dinosaurs who did fight. Yes. I thought they were kind of cute They were deadly cute, but yeah, again if they had been puppets it could have worked But yeah, that that's what is really strange about this instead of leaning into the things that were like just having practical effects on Humanoid monsters work. they just work for me. No, but they're better. Yeah. They're just better.

Like, why have CGI? Just give it to horns. Why have to be a dinosaur? I was just, when you could just have a guy with horns. Yeah. Yeah, I like, that CGI was definitely not impressive for the time and at the very least, the practical stuff would be like in line

with other practical. Yeah. Or it's like got some charm to it, you know. Yeah. I was looking up what other movies came out in 2001. Oh, this is fun. Yeah, we got non-nother team movie. Oh, our show's namesake.

My family's so many to see that. Oh, my family's so many to see that. And then Donnie Darko, Howe High, Black Hawk Down, and Josie and the Pussycats. Oh, Black Hawk Down though has terrible CGI. Yeah, Josie and the Pussycats Oh, but I have down though, has terrible CGI. You know, Josie and the pussycats seem to be as incredible. Never seen.

The hell of a poppers all CGI. I believe the heck so big. It has big cartoon eyes. Everybody hop in. Okay, Josie and the pussycats, let's go ahead and look at that. I loved that movie. I can't say whether or not it deserves my love.

No, it, well, okay. I just take a break and watch that. I can't say whether or not it deserves my love. No, it was okay. So you just take a break and watch that. I can't tell you if it was good or bad. I have no idea, but I can't tell you it was a huge box office flop. Because the budget, it says, was 22 to 39 million. The Witcher? No, no, no. The Hexer.

Josie and the pussycats. Where are we doing? Because I want to give comparison, because it would have been really, really, really fucking hard for them to make this good. They really would have had to lean into their strengths, which is like practical effects, making it spooky, making it like quiet, and stuff like horror movies have, low budgets.

This was made for $4 million, which compared to Josie and the Puscat, which was $22,000,000,000. So probably let's say around 30 million. Wait, so the Hexer was made for $4 million? Yes. No, it's not. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive.

It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive.

It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just a little bit more expensive. It's just dubbing, never mind. The guy, Mikhail Zabrowski, who plays Geralt in this film,

dubs the Polish version of Doctor Strange. Whoa! That fun. He was great, everyone was really good. That's kind of me. Mikhail! Yeah, the woman who was like the prophet in the one scene, oh yeah, like the full to the temple.

She was really good, yeah, everybody was good. That's why it was, if everybody was like that lady murdered off screen, by the way. I yes, everyone was murdered off screen. Most people were that whole I'm such a part of the story. And yeah, Geralt at some point just says like, I went there and they were all dead or something.

Like I didn't see that. No, they fought. He goes, he goes to a bar like in the next town. He's like, did you hear what happened at the temple? They killed everybody. Just like the prophet fucking said, what happened? He also dubs Geralt in the Netflix. Fuck yeah.

Sick. Oh, that's cool. So he is true Geralt. Yeah. He's as Geralt as Caval if not more. Yeah. Do you think they've ever met? Do you have a girlfriend? I? Do, oh, two girls.

I'm gonna say no. There is a doppelganger monster in Witcher. Yeah, you think? Oh, that would make sense. The two. I feel like they would have to, right? You'd kinda have, like, oh, a little, I feel like probably, Caval, if you're a Witcher fan,

and you have the opportunity to meet, like both of the guy who voices the video game, the guy who voices the original rendition of it. You would not turn that down. You think that like, Caval met Zabrowskin was like, I'm thinking for my take on the character, I'm just going to have like a perfectly sculpted ass and title other pants. I'm like, it's the camera's really going to focus on my beautiful ass. What do you think about that, Zeb?

Having trouble finding a picture immediately of them together. Well, you keep looking for that. I just do want to give a quick shout out to Dove Large Promises, which was the ad I saw while watching this on YouTube. Apparently they've got large little Dove candies now. You know, Dove was a little like nice dark chocolate treats. Yeah.

Now they have large promises now. Are you sincerely excited about that? Is the thing about like the dove, little candies, is they're too small, it's like a nice little tree. Are those the same guys that make the soap, the dove chocolates and soap? Is it all the same girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Same shape. Just like little old, same shape. Some of them are ovals and are soap and you clean yourself with, some of them are messy chocolates that get all over your mouth. The dove candies, they're one of the candies that are marketed where it's like, you're a lady and you're gonna take a little bath

and have a sneaky little treat. Yeah, and it's kind of like a sexy chocolate commercial. Sneaky little treat just for you. And that's what I like about Dove large promises, is it's not a sneaky little treat anymore. Like you're wearing your Dove badge proud. You're having a big snack out in public. You didn't skip the ads, right?

You never skipped the ads because you felt that he wasn't long enough. I gotta say, I'm more into like Reese's and stuff and not eating soap, but it's not so you're in the bowl. I told you, the brown ovals are chocolate, the white ovals are soap. It's so easy. Have you not seen a commercial?

Have you seen a commercial? Why do you eat soap? You eat soap and it's so easy. Have you not seen a commercial? I've seen a commercial? Yeah. Why do you eat soap? You eat soap and it's fucking weird. Just one time I mixed them up. Fucking love suds, dude. You love suds. I had a chocolatey sud bath and honestly it was kind of nice and it awoken something in me and now I've got a deal with that.

I've got to come to terms with the fact that I like nasty little chocolate baths. You like to eat soap. Let's go ahead and let's all try to say nice little things about this movie. Yeah, I'll say, okay, first off, actors, actors, not at fault for this. You did your damn best.

You did your damn best. I got a good job. Other thing, there was one moment that was legitimately cool. There was one moment that was funny. Are you talking about the dragon cub? No, the dragon cub was not cool. That was fucking weird. That was fucking weird. That was everywhere.

He might as well have. He talked to my version. He might as well have. There was a moment where Geralt is challenging the like main bad guy to a fight. And he's like, go ahead, you can use all your guys. And then the people who are watching go to give him a sword. And he like waves them off.

He's like, no, it's okay, I'll take theirs. And that was like, only good line in the movie. Yeah, only cool line. Wait, I thought another good line was when a guy like pulled a weapon on him and he's like, I see you don't have a weapon. And he's like, I, what did he say? He was like, I travel with my weapons.

And then the two, but then unfortunately, it was ruined by the two women coming out in Flintstone's costume. He was like, I don't carry my weapons. I travel with them. And then the reveal should have been his two sick bodyguards, but it was definitely like, oh, those are Halloween costumes. The Halloween costumes.

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I think I had a general happy Hexler time, like basically any time before Geralt fought, I thought was really cool. Like, it's him in the blindfold with the guy like one B1ing him was super fun. There was also a one really cool shot where there was an archer shooting at him, and he deflected an arrow with a sword, kind of standard.

That was a cool shot though. But then he's walking towards him, and he just sidesteps one of them the arrows, and I thought that was really cool. That was cool. That's the thing, is that like, we're one of them the arrows and I thought that was really cool. That was cool. That's the thing, is that like we're seeing some tricks here. We're seeing some dreadful tricks. I also got a shout out the guy who played Geryl

because I feel like at least I did and I would imagine all of us, we really like the Geryl that we've seen. Right, and so like often that's a hard hurdle to get over and like, and I did. The ass shaped hurdle, yeah. Yeah, it's a huge Kavala shape turtle that I need to

leave over. I will ask her as a hurdle once you get a place of liking a new girl and you know what I sort over that Kavala. I just slid down the beautiful last right into the Browsecutown. And that's great.

Um, I think that like the way they handled like the Witcher powers was cool too. There were a little cheesy at times but like generally Gerald's like kind of like push ability or like just the way you can like charge up energy and like to spell stuff. Yeah it was very like minimal I like that. Yeah. Cause like I guess in the video games you're like literally drawing little runes in the sky and like that doesn't work quite as well. But I thought it was nicely handled here. I also really liked the relationship

between Geralt and Yaskier. And this, they were like real chummy. And we didn't enjoy it. Yeah, because they're a bit antagonistic in the TV show, at least in the first season. He's like, oh, fine, follow me. But in this, they were more calm. Yeah, it was more in this, it was more like,

yes, gear, you all done. Yeah. I think it's like you, yes, gear you all done. Yeah. It was like you're my girlfriend. It was like you move me a dragon cub in a pony. It's all move into a VFW haul together. You bring the folding tables, I'll bring the cloth. Yeah, Geralt had the energy of just a real regular guy, but that has like a crazy high school friend that he sees

everyone so well. So Joey's here. We're gonna have a good time. We're absolutely gonna go nuts at this boat. Oh, Joey brought his loot. Oh my god. Wait, I'll hear this guy. The lyrics make no sense, but he's gonna shred on that loop. Yo, Joey's about to recap the plot and we're gonna get over here. Yeah, again, all they actress did a good job. The Yaskier did some cool, like, a coin trick at one point. I was like, that's kind of cool. Yeah, that looked cool.

No, I was, I think, like, similar to Geralt, I was really pumped whenever the Yaskier showed up. It was like, he was having a good time. He like, he cracked some jokes. There was one moment where like, the guy was like, oh, did you enjoy your drink? And he was like, uh, actually, like, that blissful moment is sipping away from me oh did you enjoy your drink? And he was like, actually, that blissful moment

is sipping away from me. Can you please offer me another one? Yeah. And he kind of played it like cheekily. I was just saying it out loud. It doesn't sound like a joke, but his mouth's really out of something. It was.

Yeah, they didn't lean into any kind of humor, because I mean, although I don't know, the books aren't very funny. The one thing that I thought was, I may be not a joke, but very funny to me, is there's a guard and Geralt says, are you gonna spit in my face too? And the guy like leans back to Haka Luki and Geralt just punches him in the face as he does.

Yeah, Geralt ruled in this. It's really hard to make a Geralt that doesn't rule. Yeah, it's true. Geralt is sick. I think what's great about like the Geralt of the games and the Geralt of like the Witcher series is like the kind of, cramudgeon. And I think that comes through a little bit in the books.

It doesn't really come through here. This is a pretty joyless movie. And that's another gripe that I have with this movie that didn't need to be there. Even with not a great budget, you can have things feel more like a horror movie. So the Witcher has great flavor. can have things feel more like a horror movie. The Witcher has great flavor.

It has great aesthetics, and they didn't lean into that at all. It's pretty much just being at a medieval times. You know what was kind of a pet peeve of mine is it felt like whenever we weren't actively in battle, it was just shots of five people standing in a row. Oh yeah. You know, it was always like... It was just like five people in a row having a conversation and not really, not cutting

in closer, anything like that. I know obviously there's production limitations, but I was like, please just give me a one shot. One crowd. That's the TV show. It was a multi-cam sitcom, and then they took it. This was on the show for you. When they This was on the movie they just added all the laughter Carol is old children right yeah in the conjunction of the spheres sheldon goes to the witcher birth the great Pizzenga the butcher of Pizzenga I

Really liked that during like the scene where the hedgehog night shows up, they're all having a banquet. And it seems like they gave them actual food to eat and you just see them all picking it greasy little birds. And it was just like, you know what, this is a sparsely attended feast. They're clearly trying to cover the crowd with just a few shots, but I wanna be there.

I wanna, again, I want to lark in this world. I don't wanna watch it on TV, but I wanna be a fucking part of it Someone has done a little bit of TV. I guarantee that food smelled fucking nice Oh yeah, and the actors were sitting there being like, Jesus fucking Christ. Why did they get real food? It is stinking Yeah, I can't believe they got 40 pounds of fesent It stinks like fucking fesent in here Oh, when are they gonna call

cut? I need a gag. And y'all had a lot of fesant when you were filming hot day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had a bar for a lot of times and Jake, you've probably had a bar for a lot in Jake and a mirror. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's always interesting what they give you to bar clam chowder. That is insane. That no one has ever given me cold clam chowder. That's cruel. Yeah, we did oatmeal with almond milk was, and it was pretty tasty. Yeah, I feel like oatmeal that you can color different colors. I feel like I've had soup for a while.

I've had soup for a while. I've definitely had soup because I remember the sodium taste just from having it. Yeah, and it's so cold. And that's like fuck, but that soup looks a lot better than the oatmeal. The soup looks way better. Yeah. And I split pea soup. Yeah. I mean, ideally, ideally you just get a nasty

soup and that makes you actually. And that makes you actually go in there. That's the little insider trick for you. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. That scene in particular, that like dinner scene was really bad looking. Like they're considering how good the tabernacle was made. Except I enjoyed when she screamed. And then production assistants just threw chairs and candle labras against the wall. It was one of those screams that was so long, you could see her kind of like looking back and forth

to see if they were calling for like, we're gonna cut this, so we're good. No, you don't. She was one of the characters who I literally thought was two characters for a long time. Yeah. I didn't even think that the scream was doing any supersonic thing.

Like for a while, she was just screaming and I was like, oh, she's yelling. And people were like, it seemed like they were running out of the room, but then I realized they were running out of the room. And I was like, this, they did not portray this right at all. It just seemed like she was howling. My hot take is that screams as a power never work.

They never look cool. I think that, I think that they could hypothetically look cool. The only problem is that you really would have to do such cool sound design on it to make it feel fun. And I bet someone could, but you would have to really commit that. Yeah, maybe if you got the person that designed

like Godzilla's original screen. I think you'd want to almost put it through underwater filters and stuff like that. I noticed that they pitched hers down. Yeah, you need really, you need good effects for stuff like that. I think it's gonna be good. Yeah, unfortunately it needs to be good.

Right, which is tough. Like, low key this was also a bad TV show. So yeah, I really did play. Thank you, the movie. Although if this was, I think the fact that it's a movie does make it harder to watch. Where if you, if we were just watching like weekly, like a Hercules or Zena type show,

and there was something like that, like Bats, CGI, you kind of accept it. Yeah, no better maybe. But also I think that those shows are like a little more tongue and cheek. show and there was something like that, CZIU to kind of accept it, you know better maybe. But also I think that those shows are like a little more tongue and cheek, they're having a little more fun. That's the thing is there's no leaning into the fun of it,

but there's also no leaning into the horror of it, you know what I mean? Like there's no- Or the action of the fight, or the fighting of it. There's no, so the music of- Is this a bunch of shots of people standing next to each other? The music of the like transitional shots and stuff is good, but then there's like no action music

There's nothing like driving the action. There's no like you know like drums or anything like that and there were some Fucking bongos in the in the intro. It sounded like a guster song. I was super into it a Guster song. I Love gustar vibes I was super into it. A GUSTER song? I love GUSTER vibes? What the fuck is wrong with you? That's when you go and you think of bombers? We were both. We were on the same page about finally not liking a movie together.

And then he go and drop GUSTER when we're talking about like beautiful Polish music. Well, it sounded like Mayperid, great song. Jesus Christ. This was my biggest frustration. Is it looked like, literally, it looked like I could have wandered into the woods and stumbled upon this larp happening. I'm like, I could have fought Geralt.

It would have been a good, it would have been a good larp. You could have got one shot it by Geralt. Absolutely. Absolutely. They direct you. All right, remember, just wave your sword wildly over your head and run out of sideways. Remember, your sword is so heavy.

It's gonna take you at least a minute to get it over your head. Yeah. Is this really how heavy swords are? It can't be right. It can't be right. No! He actually hit me! Oh my god, I'm dead!

It's a real ski! Come on! I'm so dead! You call the actor by his real name. He's the worst by his real name. He's the worst actor I've all talked about. Damn, this source has me. It's a real ski, I'll get you.

They're fucking leave all that in too. Yeah, and to be honest, he doesn't speak English, who doesn't know what I'm saying. Just thinks I'm doing really good job acting. Wow, that guy really sold it. Oh, good lord. Yeah, really tough stuff. I feel like they were hurt by their budget obviously, which is like completely understandable.

And then the fact that I guess they pivoted from a TV show, which was news to me. No, they didn't pivot. They made it as a TV show and then strung it together as a movie. The movie released first as sort of a promo for the TV show. So it was in theaters and people hated it and then they released the TV show a year after.

That's actually really funny though. Yeah. I love the marketer who came up with that. Yeah, it's like, you saw the movie. Now what if it was a long one? It was a long one. It was a story. It broke it up.

Yeah, okay, so it probably wasn't even a good, a good as a TV show, but I could see like the individual stories like kind of serving a TV show a lot better. Yeah, you're basically just saying the Witcher is good, which is, yeah, which I mean, I really wish if they didn't have a big budget, which they didn't, I wish that they would have just leaned into the horror of it and it's been like, cool.

We're gonna do that. Like most, a lot of horror movies are just, it's like the one location or something. Like, like literally watched the witch last night. Yeah, it was sick. And that had like a $5 million budget. It was only like, obviously more technology was made in like 2016, so much easier to make something now.

Oh yeah. But still. It actually had the same budget. Yes. Wait, yeah, had a pretty similar budget. You had a similar budget. So you all watched Chuckie and The Witch last night. Before watching this movie. You watched Kyle Loewe.

And then this morning we watched The Witch's movie. Okay, because I had a similar experience that set me up for failure with this movie where I watched the second half of my neighbor, Totoro, with my wife and daughter. And then we watched the finale of House of the Dragon. Okay. And then we watched the, I watched a lot of good stuff and then watched this,

which makes it tough, I think. I think watching it in a vacuum is, uh, yeah. That's the ideal we do. I think that my main problem with it is, I think I wouldn't even go into like the nuance of like, like what they could have done. I think the thing I wish they did differently was maybe introduce a few less characters.

Yeah, but like lean into the horror movie. Just be like, we're just at the one location this episode, just at the one location for this thing. Right. Like pick one thing to do well. Yeah, Murf brings up a very good point, which is like you do not need a lot for a good horror movie as long as you got someone who is naked and pale.

You're good to go. Sure. I'm saying like take the bloom house approach, I'm pretty sure in the witch there's some naked and pale people like dancing around the fire at some point. I also recently watched, there's a lot of naked older women as horror monsters. Right.

They have to be soaking wet. They watch that in barbarian. Oh yeah. Like pretty close to each other and I was like, whoa. Yeah, Jake's got the right of it. You have the trifecta naked pale wet and then you're good to go Wet is ideal they have to be stopping wet just out of the path. Yeah, that's how you know they're there to murder you Just have like a feral ass vampire like why we don't need So many vine monsters so many vine monsters although so many freaking blights. So many Vine Monsters.

So many freaking blights in this one. Although the Vines are easy. Do you guys want to go ahead and give it a good old, even though we might change the name, we don't know. Or maybe we'll tease changing the name. That way, everyone who's mad about it can get used to it. And then, when we change it, it won't be a big surprise. But let's go ahead and give it a good old A-Pitba Club A to J.

Love it. A for A, skip it and J, of course, for just got to see it. Okay, I'm going to give it a D for a dragon cub puppet. Okay. And I'm going to give it a B for beautiful dragon. So majestic. I love just like the actors watching that scene and being like like shrinking in their soul. Passionately defending dragons for 10 minutes and then the CGM of the movie. And there's like huge eye dragon. Yeah, it's interesting because Figma kind of

has the same thing because if you go on that figment ride figment, the new ride is terrible. Yeah, he looks, it's not new, it's so old. Maybe I just remembered that. It's a little bit younger. I think that maybe that mascot is very cute. I think that maybe when I was younger,

I had a stuffed animal figment and had never gotten on the ride. A great stuffed animal, terrible guy. Very good, yeah. Or engine purple, great color color. Yes. Figment is the mascot for Epcot, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I'm taking the little duck that's also an orange any day of the week if you're talking about Disneyland mascots. Yeah. But like Figment, Figment, Figment, Figment can absolutely hang. Yeah. Okay, Murafan, J.G.

You didn't give me the mask. Yeah. I'm gonna give this eye off. No, I'm not gonna, it's a, a, definitely don't fucking waste your time watching this goddamn movie. So kind of like a tut, tut, like a, a, a, a, a, I realized I was starting to sound like I was saying,

I, and that would be a really good score. No, right. Don't like it. That's what I like about our scores, we get most of the vowels in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you, Jake? I was gonna say G for a gustor,

but that's so good. That's so good. That's also so good. But it's really good. So let's go ahead and say, skip everything and just watch the ads. So it could be easier to reverse YouTube. We watched on YouTube.

So I would prefer if I had to watch this again, I'd watch every single ad break and not, everything and just watch the ads. So it could be easier to reverse you, we watched on YouTube. So I would prefer if I had to watch this again, I'd watch every single ad break and not. Yeah, just. Wait, Jake, I have a question. Was this, so this came out in 2001, would Guster have been a band then? Could they hype aesthetically?

No, definitely, definitely. Guster was definitely right. The soundtrack. So they hype it that it, so when you got excited, it was actually like based on reality. It could have been gustar. It should have been gustar.

It should. Where's the thing? They're making a third season of the Witcher. Ed Sheeran was in Game of Thrones. Guster could be in Witcher. And Witcher through a Guster. He'd be like, he asked you, he was like, oh, Geralt, you must meet my companions. JT, you think you picked a guy's in Guster out of a lineup?

I think so, because I know what the- Are you Guster fan or are you all Bluster? I'm a huge Guster fan. I mean, I haven't listened to them in a while, but I used to be a huge fan. I don't know if anything's changed. This is our new man on the street segment, Guster Bluster.

And we play two different jam bands. Yeah, I, well, actually, I don't know any of their names, but I could tell you which guys sings which songs and which guys the Bongo guy. Great. And with that, we've officially run out of things to talk about. Thank you so much for listening to the Guster Rock cast.

We're finally rebranding to the show that I want. Sweet. Yes. Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon. On Patreon, we're actually going to do a hard side chat. Yeah. So we'll be answering your questions about the show.

Surprisingly, this movie wasn't worth too much. It wasn't worth it. Although it was the longest movie I've ever seen, it was a deep dive into more about it. Yeah, I think we've sufficiently talked about the Witcher and the Hexer. Yeah, I think we never speak of this again. Yeah, everyone go out and buy some dove large promises.

What? I love large promises. Do not buy the soap. They're going to look like the soap, but the soap is white. The doves are brown. But what about the white chocolate? Whatever dove sells. Fuck. No, not again. It's happening again. but the soap is white. The delves are brown. But what about the white chocolate? Whatever dumb cells.

Fuck. No, not again. It's happening again. I got to go empty my kitchen. Sweet, does anybody? Yeah, I can't don't know for too much. I think I hate the word promise in there. KTRA.com slash NADPOD.

That's NADDPOD. Do not sing yet. We do. You guys don't. Excuse me, I'm sorry. Did you? You didn't even to listen to our after show, which this week will be the hard side.

Next week, we'll be back with another main campaign episode and the short rest. Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? I do. Head on over to nadpod.com slash live. Because we just have three shows and they're almost sold out. We have shows in DC Philly and Boston in January. Yeah, very nice.

Take it's left. So go over there. We've never done DC. Yeah. We've also got tickets left for Nashville as well. So if you are in that area of the world, take a little trip. Yeah, Nashville's going to be a big show. That's going to be a call call.

Homecoming. Homecoming. Yeah. I have not been home since I made a vow that I would never go home. Turn it till you sold out. Yeah, my parents are desperate to see their granddaughter. Yeah.

So that's in your hands. You got to buy a ticket to Nashville. I speak as T-Ru-U-Nite grandparents with their granddaughter. I've got some stuff from the PO box. I'd love to shout out real quick. That's me. Ooh. Yeah, we get a lot of nice notes. So I like to shout out real quick. That's me. Oh, wow.

Yeah, we get a lot of nice notes. So I like to shout out those out every once in a while. It's hard to get to all of them, but here's some fun highlights. Brittany wrote us a letter asking us to come to New Zealand and as a cell phone. Oh, we want to. Yeah.

They included an article about a Wellington woman who is held hostage in her home by a possum. Whoa. That went from so dark to cute. Yeah, there's something like, hold on. Where do you go with that? Wellington woman who is held hostage in her home by a possum. Whoa. Whoa. That went from so dark to cute. Yeah, you were just like, hold on. Where'd you go with that dude? It was a home invasion story, but cute.

I definitely want to go. I've never been to New Zealand. Yeah. You got to watch out because yeah, they are just constantly taking over the hotels. Madison S. aka at Shys Farrow. Senesan note in an invite to their grad party congrats. Madison, we're going to get our robes dry clean and be right there. Natalie and Conrads.

And it's a save the date for their wedding in British Columbia. Congrats. Wow. Yeah, we were just there. We did just there. So just make sure. Congratulations, grad. Infuses some grad.

Okay. To Cassidy S on your bachelors in chemistry. Also thank you for the cute picture of your kitty slash chemistry assistant. Pernaught. Amanda and Adam sent us a save the date and plan and sketchling their honeymoon to revolve For Bachelors in Chemistry, also thank you for the cute picture of your kitty slash chemistry assistant, Pernod. Amanda and Adam sent us a safe date and plan and scheduling their honeymoon to revolve around our next live show. That's great. We're going to be going to Turks and Kekos.

I'm excited for that. Yeah, we're doing a show on the beach. It's crazy. The beach show would be so fun. It would be so bad for us. It would be so bad for us. It's just so windy. As someone who used to perform,

as someone who used to perform improv, like touring, and we would sometimes do like college orientation, and you're just like performing outside. It's not good. Yeah, just a funny speed fucking hits you. Yeah, yeah. I think it'd be fun though, because we could like put out some seeds, and maybe like goals would just come down,

and like be a part of the show. Yeah, we'll just have some like crab carcasses around. Although we know that birds like to really go after today. After Jay. Yeah, they have been dead. I don't know why I've ever done to them. So yeah, get excited for Jake to be eaten by birds. Big ups to Brianna and Kalea on their nubs

hope it goes swimmingly, pop off sins is best. And then one more, our Charles sent us a postcard of a drawing they did of Todd from protection. For Kami 3. Yeah, coach it. The back of the postcard just as final fantasy seven is the best one, period cool. Hell yeah.

Get disagree, agree. I would say second best one, cause final fantasy six is the best one, but okay. Okay, final fantasy six is the other postcard, if you want to. 19-20 Hillhurst Avenue number 2-2-2. Most please California, 900-27. Thanks for sending stuff in. We always enjoy looking at the things you send.

Sweet guys, thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on social media that we may or may not use. Ad C.H. Merfsme, at CultistCubble, at A.E.X. Transemily, and at J.C. Herbetsis Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag, NADPOD, that's NADDDPOD. Let's do our best guest gears. We are We Are The Youth of a Name!

We Are We Are The Youth of a Nation! They made a book about a video game. Game game game game. We made a podcast about that book. It's the end of the show, everyone, and you know what that means? We've got to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. I'm talking about Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hugh C. Later, McScader, Matt M. Jordan DJ. Cutter W. Daniel G. The J-Pod. Dylan B. Who is selling a glad trading card for 100 brown leaves? That's a steal!

Dungeon Mama, not sexual. Daniel the Dastardly Dame. Beardman Dan, Danny P, Michael McD, Vincent W, Mr. Cole, Victor T. Balnor's boy, Dominic P, Andrew B, Justin I, Ragnar Therrewend, TJM, Traylee the Creyfay, Christopher B, Daniel R, Brianna B, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, Jerry, Master of the Guy Horn! Richard X Machina, Michael L, Taylor S, Calum L, Jack L, Sam L, Nicholas C, Thatiator, Leglatiator, Samuel B, Mike H, Matthew E, Great Value Gemma. Adam G. Tyler F. Panama James. Andrew the Bard. Nope, sorry, just Andrew.

The Druid here. Adrian the Haffling bird officer. Rectanial the White. Captain Sigil. Diana Deilo's Lopez. C.C. Lulu. Hercule Barro, the rabbit folk detective. To me are, Lucas B, Raco, it's Kevin, Cody B, Calder's, Cold, Come, Hashtag, Rise,

my Cumrad, Spread the Cumradery, KDW, Taylor B, The vengeful onewringed angel. Cass, skateboard, Cass, captain of the Stevens. Steven, C. Mike K, Lady Taco, Brian G, Joy T, Nara K, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger, Foster the ghostly duck says, happy Halloween! Erin, the asshole, Ranger, big bad beard of the mad, Eric McD, giant monsters on the horizon, Glad Roselle, the white rose of Galatoron, Christian A, J, Dragonborn, Joro, Vienna, Propro,

Liam D, the San Drain, Ben A. Feldonis, John III, Dave H. Vivian, Koala Bear, Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye, Pierce, Bookfars Assistant, Izzy S. Who is planning a fake, wild, style engagement party. Ooh, that sounds like a rad time. The Time Walker. Markey Mark the marvelous mining engineer. Katzie Kelsey J.

Pork Chop. Misa of House in Zunza. Ariel the occasional mermaid. Selena and Valacy Raptor. Be Perky Always. PatE.s. Pat L A. Chooza A. Lauren H. Ryan S. The Bone Duster Annie M. The Crochet, Karefti Queen The Charming Fluff

Robot Chris Telekitty Creations fan illustrator I'd like to see the silver serpent personally Maybe coiled around Galley but even just on their own. Bloops! Carly Ann, Addy K, AP Cleric, Laurie P, Spam Gaming, who's just a raccoon that has a gun. Wow! Connor Savage, Christopher J. Pebblebot, to the do writers, my first D&D party may all

our adventures be wondrous. Thank you for being my friends. Oh, that was gorgeous. Celil, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dexterous, Sullivan Hallmon, Trabhub, Dropper, Sidney T, Jack, Hubert, Crabster, Champion of Cron, Scuttling, Sideways, T sideways toward tomorrow! Fanderay, see you in Van City, we probably did see that. Garble the Moist, Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi who finally converted to the camaraderie of Calder's

gold cum! Champ Wild, Vailin, beep, the Druid, Barberian, Carlin's Sea, Emily S, Cody and TRAP, Pendergreens, Roommates. God bless you. Harry Cox, Noah, the bagel of all things, Justin L. Torrey, everything bago the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey. Dandy, Mrs. Bunny, Markos P. Georgian P. The occasional crit reporter learns the balance druid. Dakota James P. Frida Molo, Pagos, self-proclaimed,

fave prince. Tracy P. The Crick-Out Flopperian, Fryer, Frizzet, Andy E. Holly Hyena, Kristen Z. the I will use what you love against you DM. Leah C, Page H, Helen of Prius, May B, Pixel Stars, Akash T, Kristen with a K, Cal, just Cal. Commodore Galaxy, Edison N, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, Nios, the novice monster hunter. Our strangely familiar new friend, Simon, we all had a shared dream, we sang and listened

to Artemis and Percival by Gunship, Love Gunship. Patrick, Lorelai, the succubus and Kyra, her busty queen. Michael, the Esri Pop Idol, I wish we got into that world. Morgan M. Appealing, sticker. Steven E. Spooky Queers Against Colonialism, wish you a happy Halloween. Sydney and Andrew L. John Adams, yes, like the president. Meg, the male carrier of Bahumia. James F. Kappen Kappy.

M4L, Wayfair. Currently in a trademark dispute with mothership over the patented SS Storm Bjorn. Andrew B. Coup fresh. Barbo Good Barrel, Barberd Barian and Brewer, Emeritus of Waterdeep. I'm gonna keep the flub in there because it's a fun tongue twister Welsh linder Garrett G1 big-curred Eric M. Mr. D. Dana Daisy

Mr. Sillyhead Monster Captain Renee S. Hup the dancing rabbit Hoops, dagger the only dagger of hope. Olivia, the enchanting bard, he will totally be making money and a grand novel off the duck team tails within an on-the-go all-the-stop show. Blue Slade, the Artificer, Mikaela R, Riley S, Sir SIG, 93, FICO. Angry Wheat. The game itself. Just trying to find himself.

Tony G. Corbos. Calamatus. Comshot. Hashtag. CCC forever, Sergeant. Josh H. Jack the Jack's drink-sing rogue on the run with Bahumias Balls. A horse.

Killed by hard one. Mango and bananas. Temidar, remember to noble before you chair, less you chair, noble I can feel your eye roll. Rented mules, achy, big piney. Trogador, the burninator, clementine tea. Caleb L, Simone, tried whiskey, and liked it Morgan. The Archane Trickster Goose Hashtag CCC. Sorry Jake, again, it's getting apologies for that. Can't trip Dumbledore. The bear, onesie, wearing barbarian with a bad back.

Papa Wookie. MJ, the BFG drinking tea by the sea. Little ferret pal. Samantha Kay, a big squid. Cronus, Maximus, G-no-T. Squid Minty, Fae Father of Hull, Fae, Mama Bell, Miko, the Noid Elf, Sheldon, the Mushroom Turtle, Straw Man, and 18 Wheels of Rubber and Steel.

Ooh, that was a fun one to end on. That's it, thank you all so much. We couldn't be doing what we're doing without you, we love y'all. Muah, muah, good bye, Sweeties. That was a hate-bomb podcast.