Not Another D&D Podcast - 80’s D&D Adventure Book: Pillars of Pentegarn

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

Gather your courage and animal familiars, because The Book Buds (and very special guest, Jake Hurwitz) are reading another D&D-inspired Choose Your Own Adventure! Will our heroes survive the ruined Kingdom of Pentegarn? Or will they die pursuing a stupid bit that barely makes sense? (Hint: It is the second one). Turn to page 69 and press play to find out!CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon8-Bit Book Club Theme by Emily Axford See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to Ape at Book Club, the only book club that makes you dumber. I'm one of your lore lords, Brian Murphy joined, of course, by Callable Tanner and Emily Axe for the other lore lords. And then very special guest, first time on the show. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Jacob. Jake, you know me. We've traveled to different countries together. Thank you so much for coming here Mr. Herwin. Now are you based in LA or were you live? What are you talking about? You're picking up at the airport. You're on, if I were you, still? You want to pull back?

You're on. You're on. All right, great. We'll do plugs up top. Yeah. While we're plugging stuff, I'm also on Dungeon Court and the main campaign episode. Can we? Dungeon Court? Forget main campaign episode. Wait, Dungeon Court? Forget it.

Are you a judge on that? No, I'm not sure. Okay, then I don't, yeah, I'm not sure. Anyway, we've got a choose your own adventure book or rather an endless quest book. Endless. Even in the quest of life has an end. And that's strange.

What is it? That book is not more than like 100 pages. Emily, what's the end? This book is, oh, five now. It is, it is. Yeah. This book is older than all of us. This book was first printed in 1982.

It is called Pillars of Pentagon. And there are a bunch of adventure where it's fighting a bone dragon. That's sick. This is all very good. This book costs 25 cents at a garage sale, I believe. There is a sticker on the cover. This is 25 cents.

I'm inferring that it came from a garage sale. I don't know. This is an official looking 25 cents. Yeah, I'm gonna say, I've been to a lot of garage sales. You don't get nice stickers like that. That's true. No, no. You can't get a sticker like that.

This is the kind of book you give away at a garage sale. I'll give that to you by a lamp. Yeah. I'm gonna say this. by a lamp. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna say this. And the lamp doesn't have a price on it. You have to be like, hey, how much for this lamp? And then they size you up and they're like, eh, $10.

I think you're like, wait a second. I believe we got this one in the PO box, right? Yes, okay. So thank you to, I don't know if we have the name in front of us who sent it, but thank you to everyone who's ever sent us anything to the people about Already we think to at the end of an episode I believe we've thanked you, but thank you again Yeah, you are our your our pentagon you are pentagon All right, I'm gonna kick it off on page two with

Repage one. No, there's it's just like a pram No guys, we got it. You know how long these books are is there like a lot of these books are like a quote? summarize the quote is the forward is actually very sweet the forward says for my father who believed in me Oh, yeah Yeah, we're gonna stop there And this is written by Rose Estes or Estes. Yes, great.

Yes, all right. Oh, man, I want my father to be the pillar of Pintagar and the Rose's was. All right. So a Scali, bark-covered-hand, wraps. It's long-thin fingers around your shoulder. A wispy voice, whispers. Excuse me. Oh, whispersy voice whispers?

I need to tidy up around you. Your friend, Dree. Could you make it, could you make it, W your voice, whispers? I need to tidy up around you. Your friend, tree. Could you make it, could you make it, Whispier, please? No, we're on paragraph one. I gotta get about 10 pages before we can make a choice. Wow. We're at the forward again. Your friend, tree, lowers a branch and you climb on eagerly.

You are always happy to rest in trees, branches, and watch your friend, Scurry, about the forest. The tree's name is tree. The tree's name is tree. The tree's name is tree. We're keeping it simple all the time. I'm not a pianist. I really am already sold. You have a friend who's a tree.

Yeah, that's Rose. So you are, and we are, Jamie, a young villager living at the edge of a mysterious forest. I'm a tree. Okay, so why don't we say Jamie tree? Okay. Jamie tree. We'll be our name. Although the people of your village tell tales of woodland terrors and ferocious beasts lurking in these woods, Now we say Jamie Tree. Okay. Jamie Tree. Jamie Tree. We'll be our name.

Although the people of your village tell tales of woodland terrors and ferocious beasts lurking in these woods, you have spent your happiest moments rambling around the forest, climbing trees, craggy trunk, and playing with your friends, fox, and owl. This is some Winnie the Bouches. Yeah. Yeah. We really are going to the archetypes. We're going to Aristotelian ideals.

While trees leafy fingers, straightened straighten flower stems and brush his knobby roots You listen to him discuss a party of adventurers with Fox and Owl. I Thought them an exceptional group. Trees says when they built their campfire They gathered only deadwood. They did not break any of my branches nor did they carve my bark. That's pro move When they left they put out their fire and cleaned their campsite That's that's great camping together. I don't know trace. Yeah, leave no trace Sorry, I'm different guys boys. Well, I think they're heading for trouble says Fox Fox make a loudly

He's here weirdly yeah from Nintendo 64 and super Nintendo before it. And I think maybe Nintendo before that. Who knows? I followed them when they left this morning. Bip-bip-bip-bip-bip, they went off toward the river, but then they backtracked and started towards the pillars of Pentagon, Owl Gasp.

Repairers of Pentagon, surely you are mistaken. No way, bird brain, Fox snaps. Oh, okay. Thank God that's not a- I hate being God, that's not's not I don't want to be that negative I hate to say it but I am owl Yeah, okay, so the pillars of pentagorean line the most frightening part of the forest They're kind of arguing back and forth. There's a long silence the pillars of pentagorean lie in the most frightening part of the forest Not even the bravest creatures go there hide tree says suddenly fast, I see goblins coming up the path.

Oh no! Okay, we hide. Yes. Okay, not how this works. You jump down, shame tree jumps down and skitters under a bus, so we do hide. Okay, do hide. Owl flutters high into trees branches, fox hides behind a rock, then changes his mind and runs for the forest. He's in plain sight when the goblins march into the clearing.

What are you doing, Fox? Fox, watch out. Try to be a little more furtive, bud. Watch out, Fox. I would be down if they brutally, I would be down if Rose brutally murders Fox here. I would believe in that, just like Rose's father. Without pausing, the goblins throw their spears at Fox. He helps and runs to the bushes.

The spears miss him, but they thud saw the leaded a tree. Who's worse? No! No! Like groans pass unheard by the monsters. Mist! Grunts one. Doesn't matter.

Fox tastes bad, answers another. Don't care about taste. Tunting is funnest part. The largest goblin rips its spear out of the tree, then drops to all fours and sniffs the ground. Girl scarf, it says. P picking up a white kerchief, they've been here close now. The God.

We've got goblin, God to the ground, sniffed, and then found a tactile object. I believe they found our scarf, maybe. Is it our scarf? Maybe. We'll find out. Oh yeah. So they're looking for someone else.

Well they're looking for the adventurers maybe. I think I'm gonna be the adventurer scarf. There's no way we're gonna find this information out. Yeah, we should just call it off here. So they've been here close now. The goblins cried around their leader, blah, blah, blah. Then the last goblin pounds down the path. You scurry out from beneath your bush and rush to tree.

He moaned softly and his branches swaying pain. Oh my God. Turn it off. No. The wounds and plug them with wet, clean moss. The flow of sap slowly stops. Trees calm down. Oh my God.

That was really, really brutal. We cannot lose trees. We don't want to lose trees here. Not this early. Wait a minute. If this is a week, can't even make a choice. Let us get tree killed, please. Let it be on our hands.

The pages of this very book. We're made from the trees Climes down as soon as you finish patching trees trunk a goblin spears pierced his left wing Oh my god, do not be overly concerned gasp sell they just winged me. I will keep it light I like that. Yeah, I appreciate that, but you are in trouble out, but yeah You are gonna you are in trouble, Al. But yeah, Al, you are gonna pass. You remove the spear and carefully press a pad of moss onto the wound while James is playing. Well, that's right, and there he is. Yeah. Ooh, we get choices coming up.

Okay. Fox returns and inspects his wounded friends. Wow, can you imagine that what they'll do to those adventurers? He has shut up, you coward. Tell me where you folks. You fucking ran. I mean,

Two of your friends were just steps James tree says I don't You say I don't want to think about it, but you must urges tree if we don If we don't warn them, they won't stand a chance. We must do something. Don't look at me. I can't warn them, Fox says, you're the only human I'm on speaking terms with. Fox is correct, how it says, you are the only human I have ever met

who talks to animals. It would be useless for Fox or myself to attempt to warn the adventurers for they would not understand us. You must warn them, James tree. We're not gonna drool if we're speaking with animals. We're not gonna be a rain. We're not gonna be a boss on stuff. We're so kind of drooled if we're speaking with animals. Yeah, we're having a mosque on stuff.

We're talking about animals. Or Dr. Do Little. So we have two choices here. As Dr. Do Little. It's a tough class. Okay, James tree. James tree, do Little. We have a choice.

Or in the adventurers of their danger. Or return home deciding you are too frightened to risk meeting the gopins again. I think, look, we make a lot of jokes here. But I think the choice is clear here, we were doing all of this. Yeah, it's been a long day. I mean, two of our friends are bleeding out.

Like, that's kind of crazy that we would be like, oh yeah, let's go talk about it. Yeah, we need to go call them back. Do you guys want to go home? Yeah, I want to go home. Let's go home. Okay, I can't out vote you. I would like to vote her.

I just want to see, I feel like we should go get like a dream first. And what do you think? It's gone. Okay, we're going home. Yeah, good. Graphs and game rates. This is big, this is big.

It's been a lot. It's been a lot. Number nine. Fortunately, you have time to do your chores before your mother returns. Even though the South wind holds, you do not have any desire to run off to the woods. Over the next few days, you're so good, your mother thinks, you're sick, but you're not

sick, you're just scared. You often wonder how the adventurers are doing. But since you would need to go to the pillars of Pentagon to find out, the question remains unanswered, would your help have made any difference? Unfortunately, you'll never know the end. Well, thanks. Wow. Assholes.

Scared like a fox. Okay, okay, let's go back and have more of them. That was, I really did enjoy how much your brothers went in on the adventure. I do the rats. Your mom is really fucking proud of you. And the adventures you'll never meet. I like that we were at least nice to our mom.

I like that there's that. I have no issue with that ending. I thought that was cool. Yeah, I thought it was lovely. We already have one success. Let's see if we can get to it. I get technically we survived. So that's something.

Yeah, we did all our chores. I really did all our chores. Yeah, I mean, I will never spoke to us ever again. I would run out. James Trees' home. Let's go ahead and make a new adventurer. Will you want to name this adventurer? Called well.

Called well. Ooh, Tanner. Called those shows up. So as so called well as out there, walk with his family and run into owl and a bleeding tree. And a very simple. Why are you making me relive this? This happened when I was 12.

OK, I'll do it. Called well says, I'll show it, Caldwell says. I'll show you a shortcut to the pillars, Fox volunteers. Allow me to ride on your shoulder, Caldwell, Al says, and I too shall accompany you. How your talents are so sharp. Caldwell holds out his arms and Al climbs up Caldwell's shoulder. Following Fox, Caldwell enters the forest.

After 20 minutes, Caldwell comes to a tell us. I know, it's just a drag, they got this. This is a sexy murp. It's a sexy murp. Okay, it's me. Codal goes home and also takes care of his mom's choice. Yeah, I'll say. Brambles and briars grow and twine

around the base of the tall, neural trees. Murph pushes Murph's way through. Maybe Jamrf. Jamrf and see that the forest stops at Jaymurf's feet. The ground in front of Jaymurf is a sickly burnt gray. Several large pillars rise like thick white fingers from the black and earth. Their tips are broken and jagged and huge pieces lie strewn about the clearing. So the pillars are broken presumably.

Pillars are broken. I think we go home. Yeah. This is so normal. Absolutely. Wait, hold on. I just realized that there's dirty dishes in the sink and mom's gonna chew like that. Just gonna jump with those old,

I'm gonna have to go on a new character. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh, Jamelies here. Jamelies. Jamelies. Jamelies. Jamelies. Okay, I care about Jamelies.

Let's, yeah, yeah. Let's go, Jamelies. This is our one. Gapes near the base of the pillars like a missing tooth in a jack-o-lantern. You see three sets of footprints leading into the opening. Gotta be the thing. As you peer into the opening, a squeal breaks from the forest.

And you turn to see the goblins racing from the tangles, turn to page 24, no choice. We just got to go up and down our ass. I'm not gonna be happy about it though. 11. Okay, Gemely. Okay, choking back your fear, you duck under the pillars and Gemely hides. Okay, as you round them, skipping ahead, you duck under the pillars and generally hides.

Okay. As you round them, skipping ahead a little bit, because there's pages and pages. As you round the corner, a crumbling stair. Oh, so you sneak into the pillars. As you round the corner, a crumbling staircase rises upward into the darkness. The passage splits at the bottom and leads both left and right. You lean against the staircase and try to catch your breath, pressing your fingers against the stone wall.

You feel ancient stone carvings under your hands, the cries of goblins draw closer. Well featherhead, pants, fox, got any hot ideas now? God, this is sonic behavior. I don't know why, but I'm picturing this fox wearing like a pair of like khaki pants. It is my astute opinion that the carving moves around Gemilee's fingers and a section of the staircase opens without warning. You fall back into the darkness. Hey Fox, cries wait for me. He slips through the opening. The wall quickly shuts and darkness glows around you. The dark is thicker and more complete than any you've ever known. Goblin

feet pound up the stairway. You are hiding under and then there's a long silence Finally Fox says I don't know how to tell you this, but we're not alone. I'm gonna just change it Masonic something This is great. Yeah, that is correct a deep voice says oh shit who's there? Gemini demands trying to sound brave in answer a burst of light fills the room a wrinkled old man Leans on a staff in front of you He seems more ancient and frail than anyone you have ever seen. We tell him. You have a great, and I went to an open cask of funeral once. And I'm friends with a tree. You've seen all the old people, the trees probably older than me. Yeah, he looks better than you He's a virtue smooth

He seems ancient and frail more than anyone you've ever seen a bright torchlight leaps from his staff a young fighter stands on the old man's right Oh, he is sort of the gand off to the air of gorn. I get it What is battle scarred armor and bulging muscles? Shit, okay? Scarred armor and bulging muscles. Shit. Tell him, this is not someone to anger. A beautiful Elven maiden stands on the left, bright red hair thanks to her wang. Shit. What an incredible molecule.

Damn, she wears carefully tailored leather armor. Her hand rests on a polished dagger handle. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, and she watches you intently with bright green eyes. Oh boy, Mudder's Fox, we're in for it now. Quiet, Fox. You insert yourself into every fucking conversation.

Quiet, fuckin' cool. Patience, Fox, Owl says, I have found hasty judgment leads to disaster. Great call, Owl, Owl's just kind of on our side. Heaps at light, but he also keeps it in. Oh, that was what's up. Yeah, I can't think of anything more disastrous than dying, he he answers shut up Sonic

Fox Owl cries the old man in a papery drive boys Anyone out with just honey Do not waste your strength Oh, each other please I ate too many almonds Neither the fighter ball tack norven Thief Lydia will harm you. You stare in amazement as Fox and I'll stop arguing and walk across the floor toward the old man. They understand the old man and he understood them. Surprise, child!

He asks, Don't be like you, I couldn't speak with animals. Please, you need to sit down. So get those with media of Gatorade, anything for the electrolytes. He pauses and you back to sit down. So get those with me, D.F. Gatorade, anything for the electrolytes. He pauses and you back away from him. Do not worry, Gemmily. He continues. I am not one to fear. Come, sit beside me.

I shall tell you and your friends everything you need to know. Do you have chopsticks? He holds out his hand, his eyes hurt. Just slurping up a tube of trap, Steg War. It was full of my throat. He had to eat blistics. His eyes are kindly and intelligent, and hold all the strength, his body lacks.

You're dunking on this dude. Yeah. With that award. Where has had someone in mind you with something with that? With that award, you cross the small space between you and clasp the waiting hand, fixing his gently at powerful gaze on you.

He begins, although it seems unlikely this would once a beautiful place. There were no goblins, no monsters, no death, no destruction, the field to a fertile, the people were prosperous and happy, and blessed my name, the name of King Pentagon. Whoa! This is King Pentagon himself. What did they grow here, King Pentagon? What was it fertile with? Beats. There were beats here. That was so many beats. That reminds me of to go home and do the dishes. Three beats with your mom and that's a game over. That's two folks.

Although I was a wise and good king, I did not do it alone. I was just gonna go got it fast here. I was aided by a great magical staff. It was given to me by my father and received it from his father before him. Okay, next is his father. Neppity, I am a neppo, believe me. Yes. Contains the magic and knowledge of all those lifetimes. Unfortunately in the hands of evil, it can be used as a terrible result.

You understand. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. Yeah. I'm just the king. Yeah, he lost his staff. Can I roll inside? Yeah, I'm gonna roll inside 19 from me. You see he could really use some blistets. Okay. Specifically to eat one night as I slept a black fog covered the kingdom by the time we discovered

this was a magical fog was too late that cloaked the coming of the evil one capitalized e capitalized in the darkness of the magic fog the evil master master capital E-capital M crept into my castle and stole my magic staff with a sun rose. It could not pierce the black gloom. Most of my people fled and fear in those who stayed. To fight were killed by the black cloud. I fought desperately, but without my staff, I couldn't even be to cloud in a fight. You didn't say that.

I added that. Alastighed, near total exhaustion. All about me was ruined and I was forced to leave my own kingdom. Though I was too weak to battle, my unseen phony longer, about I would return. God, get on with that pentaguard. And he's really old, so he sang this super slow. Yeah, after you, I prepared. Seeking to defeat the evil one. Blub, blah, blah, blah. Can you just do like some water aerobics real quick? I'm worried about you. I'm very talking.

Yet if I die, there'll be nothing to stop. The enemy, old man's stairs and tents laid each of you. Ben DeGuarding continues. The master, as it calls itself, user remains in the central tower between us, the tower and many halls, caverns and passageways. They will be guarded by bands of goblins and skeletons, all of whom serve the evil one.

I just realized before I said Aristotelian ideals, but actually I think it's supposed to be platonic ideals. So before one of you guys calls me out for that. Before one of us, I was laying in wait. Can we circle back to something? She's your blade, her way. I just can't sit idly by. Although they're all Aristotelian of you. I just can't sit idly by. Although there are a few ways to defeat the evil one.

I have a plan, a cube of Bistic forces and a ring of spell. A cube of Bistic? A Bistic of Bistic forces? Yes, I will. I'm planning on kissing the evil one. Either a cube of blister forces and a ring of spell turning lie hidden in the depths of the dungeon beneath the castle.

I do not believe the master possesses them. If we can get them, we send an excellent chance of success. So just to be clear, I'm just gonna talk to this like an NPC. Just to be, just to be clear. You just have been hanging out in the ruins of your kingdom. No, I left and I came back when I was very old for some reason. I feel like the... I mean, good for you to like really like in like the last quarter of your life, just find something to look for.

It's never over, yeah. It's never too late. That's inspiring. Yeah. So as he says... Your lips fell off. I don't agree with you, says the elf. Wouldn't it be better to sneak straight through? We can avoid discovery as well as fighting and perhaps pick up some treasure

I like something happening here between us and the self Me I'm in favor of a direct approach says the fighter All I know is that their lips are moist and full the old man Fastens his gaze upon you and you on fashion He asked in a soft voice. What do you think which are the ways would you choose? Jamelie stammer's I'm just a kid I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything.

I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything.

I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything.

I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. Do not take yourself lightly. You and your friends have much to offer. What is your choice? Okay, so we can do the old man's course of action. We can choose the elf's way, the fighters way or choose our own way. And the old guy starts going, Or you can go your own way.

I think we should ask the apentegard to like build a bicycle so that Fox can ride home. Okay, well that would be our own own. Yeah, we're thinking. Yeah, like we got to get the best way is to get in with this elf for this. I want to do whatever the elves say. Yeah, but don't you think it shows initiative and that was a self made 37 year old if we choose our own path? That's interesting.

I, but I feel like I want to endear myself to her early and choose my own path. That's interesting. But I feel like I want to endure myself to her early. Yeah. I feel like we are choosing our path and it's whatever her path. You can't say I don't know anything and then be like all right fine I have a I have a clear choice. Yeah. Generally would follow I think the hot elf. Yeah. Is what we know. Okay. So we're gonna follow the elf I Think we should follow Lydia suggestion you say hornily Good thinking kid I'll show you some fancy slinking follow me exclaims Which choice gets Fox That here dude

Which choice gets Fox can we my first day do welcome yesterday? We're gonna get Fox blocked here. Yeah, let's get rid of Fox It does seem indeed this course of action may yield favorable results though it is not without it's inherent perils Al says so wise I'll stay yeah, I'll can hang yeah, you are wise wise youngster says the old for dark green eyes beam with approval The old man looks at you quietly 37 would be young to an elf a mixed sense He says in an old soft voice he gestures with the sands Your hands are too soft Yeah, what's going on the dryness of the lips?

It doesn't match something's off. Suddenly the wall behind him opens into darkness come he says the diast cast and it is time for us to be upon our way All of you file past him into the darkness. No, no, we like just met this guy He's trusting us real hard Come into the darkness Okay, yeah, good 13 you can tell he's also horny for the fighter in the Let me see the little star round. Come into the darkness! Can I do a side chest? Yeah, go ahead. 13.

You can tell he's also horny for the fighter and the... And this is our competition. It's good to know your enemies are guys. There's going to be a pillar for each of us in this castle. As you leave the wall slide shut behind you, you now stand outside a brisk chill wind whistling about you. Watch a kid, Foxy apps. Your fingers are pretty nimble, but your feet aren't so hot.

Just go home, man. Go home. Drive, dude. Can we build him a hang glider and just throw him off a clothes? We're like, Fox, I think is our little buddy. I'm really sorry, guys. Can we start? Like, can we just say that Fox went home and then we don't read?

Do you want me to just not read any of Fox's stuff? That's fun. Okay. Why don't I just say redacted when, okay. So, we tell Fox to go home, Fox leaves, and you see Fox is snatched by a bigger owl. Nice. Thanks, I want to feed some young owls. So yeah.

You call you on Monday. You look around and see we where walking a very narrow trail, bordering the ruins of the kingdom, the remains of the ancient building slide. On your left, lit here and there by flickering flames. On your right, you see a sheer fall. The edge of the mountain drops away only a few inches from the path.

Treacherous. I can't believe that Fox fell off that. Pentagon, yeah, he fell off and you see an eagle flying away. Pentagon stops and clutches your elbow. There it is. He whispers, oh my god. Raising aenta yarn stops and clutches your elbow. There it is! See whispers, oh my god. Racing a bony finger and pointing up the tail.

It's bony in the song. First they're soft, now they're bony. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, I don't trust this guy. The amount of description that's made of. He's a j-shifter. You see a tall black tower rising high against the night sky as you study the tower a terrible howl.

Woo! Groves in the wind, hand here. Try again. Whoo! Hey! Tivers of terror run down your spine. You're in a band. Whoo!

I'm so happy. Shut up, Tally. And dance with me. That is our goal, the old man says. Some of us may not survive our journey into it, but the mission is more important than our lives. So we know Pentegrin's toast, right? Yeah. The mission is to like get your house back. Okay, but the mission is more important than our lives, so we know pentagons toast. Yeah, the mission is to like

Get your house back. Okay, so the next the next part I'm gonna need you to walk like what do we get for this Pinty? Yeah guys, I got some bad news. Uh-oh Is Pivotal to this next Unfortunately, have to bring him back. Oh Great says Fox. Listen kid. I just remembered. I've got to rush home see you with that Fox darts away down the trail Fox has not been gone more than three seconds before terrible screams tear the quiet of the night Fox, you cry even lot of screams answer the prize you have two choices

So we do get to choose what to do with the face. Great. So we want to rush down to the trail into the dark and attempt to rescue your friends no matter what danger faces you or consider the good of the entire party rather than feeling. You know what? There's going to be some tough decisions. We always do this would happen. Yeah, there's going to be some tough decisions, but not right now. Yeah. Yeah. We are going to quote unquote think about the good of the party. Yeah. We got to go for the great of

it. And then and then Lydia the good of the party. Yeah, we gotta go for the great of it. Shake this thing away. And then Fox, you know, comfort us. Oh, that's good and I agree. That's good. Okay. Oh, I will hold us back while we're like, Fox, no. I'm gonna save you.

Fox, no. We are Falco. Yeah. It's before us what happens when you get a game over, buddy. Turn to page 76. Great. You decide the good of the party must come before the good of an individual But Fox begins to shriek and why and even more allowing I'm just looking about a real fox It's sad yeah, and he turned to brush to your friend the heavy hand of the fighter grasps you

firmly by your shoulder you cannot go Jamie Foxx was unwise, but he made his own decision No one forced him to leave That's right Go Jamie Foxx was unwise, but he made his own decision. No one forced him to leave. No one forced him to leave. Pentagon says, cannot endanger the party by attempting his rescue. We must leave him to his face. My God. Still struggling, you are hurt off down the trail.

Foxx's cries fade away, but they have been engraved upon your heart. Stay strong, everybody. Stay strong. We made the right decision. Wow. We made the right decision. We made the right decision. Wow. We made the right decision Green eyes focus on Lydia's I didn't hate that touch from the fighter. That was honestly rose. That was good writing

You down the narrow wall until it meets the mountain soon. You must edge along the trail spreading your sweat against the mountain To balance your movement progress is difficult. Yeah, you guys are going through. You find a doorway. Doorway grinds open, we're seconds before there was only solid unbroken rock. You can see two passages going into the mountain. Come friends, we have no time for luge. Forge and all of this will be an easy route.

You are equally heading for the doorway when a long, low growl stops you short. For huge dog-like forms, slink toward you. From the inside of the mountain But these are not dogs. They're wolves Foul clips off their long way fangs their face are hideous snorling masks of evil their eyes glow like embers in a fire pit If this is going to be easy who's out. I'd hate to see it get hard so classic Just fucking die now you're turning on me.

Yeah. That was like a Fox level joke. Yeah. But I was nervous, OK? Like cut him some slack. Now we're going to try to get Owl killed. The wolf's sling closer and one leaves and he's going to the party.

He's running and growl. You have nowhere to go. The sheer edge of the mountain lies behind you and the trail is too narrow to flee upon. You are slowly backing toward the doorway when a wolf jumps on your back knocking you to the ground. Whoa! You roll over and look into the mouth of a vicious wolf. It's going red eyes, drill into yours and it's hot breath beats upon your face. We have to sacrifice the owl. We have to sacrifice the owl. Thank you for a great flapping of wings. It's

owl. He is trying to draw the wolf's attention from you. Perfect. By attacking the evil creature. You monster. You'll learn a away and press yourself against the doorway. Owl locks his talents into the wolf's head and the ugly creature snaps his snarls with pain and rage. It whips his head from side to side, trying to shake the determined bird. Here's a picture of Owl fighting the bird, everybody. Oh, see.

Owl talons. That's beautiful. Like, Rose, I think plays it safe, but we know those Owl talons are going straight into that wolf's eye. Yeah. A rose for rose. Yeah, rose for rose. Just as you fear the wolf will free itself from Owl, Baltic rushes up and kills the Enraged

Creature with one blow from his mighty sword, Owl falls to the ground and lies battered by breathing on the ledge. The fighter too bleeds from his many wounds. Thank you. Thank you, Baltic. Gemely says, Alan, I both owe you our lives, the fight or not, but has no energy left to reply. You look about the ledge, all the huge beasts have been slain, but at great expense, Lydia lies beneath a wolf,

her dagger buried in the great beasts heart. Is she okay? I don't know, we'll see. Pentegrin is collapsed against the wall, a wolf lies dead at his feet, burned to a crisp. Fear in the old man is dead, you slowly approach his crumpled form. All is not lost, he lives. And you lean over him, the old man is dead. You slowly approach his crumpled form. All is not lost.

He lives. And you lean over him, the old man whispers, what injuries have you taken? I'm a right and so is how, but Baltic pleads badly. And Lydia may be dead. Well, we must see what we can do. He says tiredly. We've got to cover these guys in moss.

Please hand me my staff. You pick up his staff. Where's our tree? What part of it? So does it feel like everything just went crazy all of a sudden yeah, yeah, yeah, really these wolves Decimated us we should go home. It was like yeah, we really have to just You pick up a staff and give it to him then drag the body of the huge wolf off Lydia She's covered with blood and lies very still on the cold ground leaning down pentagon cries quick

There is life we are in time. There's life hold her up. Gemini Pantigarne cries quick. There is life. We are in time. There's life. Hold her up, Gemily. Pantigarne draws for this fucking perfect for us. All right Fox is dead. We're about to say bloody. Yeah, yeah, doesn't get hotter than this. Let's try and position ourselves to make sure that when Yeah, when the magic happens she opens her eyes. We should get some of Valtex blood on us. So we like look at the scar. That's gonna be far too. Yeah, I think Pintigar knows. Pintigar's in on this. Yeah.

We cover ourselves in blood and position ourselves in Lydia's eyesight. Pintigar draws forth a vial of smokey fluid. It shifts to then the clear glass, blah, blah, blah. I carefully pours the precious potion between the leaves. Lips drop at a time for one breathless moment. Nothing happens. Then at last Lydia opens her eyes.

Yes, she has the look of far away visions in them. Hi. Hey. Oh, hey. You guys, did you guys give it a push? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yeah.

It's not about credit, but it we did. Wow, you guys are so cool. Pentagon, she's size. I'm so glad you're not a wolf. So am I, Chuckle Zield, man, winking at you guys. So am I chuckles the old man winking at you guys So am I now rest for a moment my dear you'll be alright soon I must see to Baltic though the fighters wounds are bloody They are less serious and Pentagon quickly tends to him last everyone is cared for and you notice that the edge of the doorway ripples and

Riggles like our flexion on water quick quick cries Pentagon the spell is losing its power Helping Lydia and Baltic you hurry through the opening, the boulders grind shut behind you, you were just in time. If you choose the corridor to the right, page 57, corridor to the left, page 86. Let's talk to Al real quick and be like, hey man, I respect you, but like, that was a little dicey, which you did back there.

Yeah. Like you just gotta like, know your place, like, be chill, be cool, be a loo. I thought I shaved your all my- You kinda made it look like it was about you. Oh my God. I just see there's no reason for me to not be able to get with Baltic or Lydia.

I just feel like you're cool. There's no reason for you to not get with Baltic. But I just think you and Pintigar really have a good shot. Well, I was really, I was gonna say, I was really feeling tension between you and Pintigar really have like a good shot. Yeah, I was really I was gonna say I was really feeling tension between Yeah, I'm gonna Pint show like everyone is hooking up on this trip. It might not be with who you expected originally I think that fighter and tree would like really work out. Where the hell is tree?

Why didn't tree come? Can we call it just crazy? Can we call it? Yeah, we can go off like a public phone. Is there a message you'd like me to give to tree? Yeah, can you use this in the film? Where are you? Oh, tell them to carve. No, tell them to carve Gemely loves what's the elps lady. Gemely loves Lydia in the live.

And then flies back an hour later. Hey, it was terrible. Yeah. I'm trying to carve. Yeah, and tell the tree that Fider was asking about him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, tell tree to get here before everyone hooks up. It's one of those kind of traps.

We're all hooking up in here. Okay, left or right, guys. I'm feeling, I'm feeling, guys. I'm feeling left. I was into left though. I was in the left. I'm in the left. Real freaks, we like it left. Let's do it.

Some like it left. Some like it left. Okay, guys. If you choose the ledge on the left, turn to page 86. Oh, wait, sorry. Oh, okay. It's a corridor on the right or a ledge on the left. Oh, that changes things.

The corridor by a ledge. I mean. Oh, that changes things. A corridor by a ledge. I mean, left, like us being like, us like turning away from Lydia as she just came to thinking that we, he used magic to bring her back to life. And then we just kind of like dash towards a ledge. Yeah, but there's also like a strong walk down a corridor. Oh, if we go first.

There's only gonna be room for people to walk side by side. Oh Okay, yeah, so are we thinking corridor then personally because we were just on a ledge. I feel corridor. Okay, let's go corridor Okay, okay, so turning back to page 57, but if we died I don't want to risk. Yeah, okay Yeah, yeah, as you enter the doorway you hear fox screaming behind you. Hey wait for me. I'm coming to Oh Behind you painting your stuff. This is worse than death. Thanks guys. I'm so glad we could meet up in this corridor Wow, how will now is the time? Oh What's happened? You guys turned on me

You guys You guys realize that fox is gonna be the reason that no one hooks up What time of the day? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened?

What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened?

What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? What's happened? Oh cut the last thing we need is fast food. We're about to watch a movie. Fox clears his throat with embarrassment

and avoiding your eye says, oh, hi guys, Bet you thought I ran away because I was scared, but I was really saving your bacon. My keen sense of smell picked up the scent of goblins and I tricked them into chasing me instead of you then lost them in the brambles. Please don't thank me. Just remember how lucky you are to have me along.

Okay, Fox, it's is making a play for Lydia. Oh my, that's clearly what's happening. You're joking for position. Pentagon looks at Fox slyly, or should I say Lydia looks at Fox slyly. Oh no, read the text of the text of the text of the text of the videos. I'm feeling like we're changing this a little bit.

Yes, but we are certainly lucky to have you along. Come along now. We have very little time. Okay, but we are certainly lucky to have you along. Come along now. We have very little time. Okay. Hey, Owl, you have to fix this. You already turned on me. I'm going to help Fox. No, you turned on me.

This is absolutely fine. All right, you are misremembering. We're losing it. We're losing it. Okay, let's try for the ring. We're on page 137. Let's try for the ring you say. I don thirty seven. Let's try for the ring you say I don't know why we're looking for a ring. Um, this is just how it is. I think he is a ring of spelled

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the ring lines just ahead says pentagom. Let us continue your small band herries along the corridor watching all directions for enemies At last pentagom leads you into a huge cabin with a tall black pillar rising from a massive cornerstone. Both the cornerstone and the pillar are made of some type of polished stone. The pillar soars upward disappearing into the gloom above. Pentagon turns to Lydia. You will have to climb the pillar and retrieve the ring, my dear. You must set aside all thief- We do it for Lydia.

And concentrate on the good of the party. If you cannot do so, we'll bring disaster down upon us. Screams, Lydia. Whoa. What are you trying to pull? Hey, Lydia, I just want to let you know, you were being really brave just then. Yeah. When you came to the salty dug in,

you wanted a low down sneaky thief. Who knew the dirtiest tricks of the trade? That's who you got. Me. Oh my God. What's with all the way to shoe stuff? Coimley is sweat. Ow.

Low down dirty dog. I'm like, we're trying to figure out, like, how do we not make it a big deal that we're really good at doing chores for our mom? Because, like, that's not going to really be our mom. You guys don't do chores, do you? Never! I know.

You're thinking about Owl. Hey. You're thinking about Call the Law. Ha-ha! Why true, says the old man, but the ring's safeguard is purity. The person who handles it must be entirely pure and free from evil thoughts or will mean their death You must perform your greatest trick of all and pretend to be good. Come on, Pentecost

Come on man. This is tough. I'll do it on one condition says Lydia You must promise me you'll never tell anyone I did this it could ruin my reputation Don't worry. We won't breathe the word the wife's her hands on her pants and scrambles up the cornerstone What did she wipe off of sweats? I'm sorry, but saying like you can't tell anyone I did this little ruin my reputation is so fucking sexy Yeah, I know I know the fact that she's just kind of like Because she's like protecting her bad reputation And she's like don't tell me that she's got like a soft heart in the center all it

and I love it. Yeah. You see, she's climbing up for every foot she gains. She slips back through her four inches. She climbs slowly, so very slowly, but she continues to make progress. This is a strategy, don't worry about that. Yes, she's looking down at the entire party,

inviting her lip not sure who she's going to choose. She's almost at the top, she's going to make it. A mightly grown escapes her lips and she's left halfway down the hill. You hear Lydia mutter it to herself. She scrambles back up the pillar. Finally she fights her way to the top. I'm here she yells. This ring had better be worth all this trouble she just appears from a view for several seconds Wow, this is really nice. She yells. You didn't tell me it would be so pretty. It's cover up tools I wonder if it will fit me no Lydia cries pentagon don't put it on toss it down to me. It's too powerful for you You're just saying that because you don't want to share it with me you can imagine how beautiful it is on my finger This big emerald is the same color as mine.

She deserves it. Lydia sits there. Put it on Lydia. And it matters to me. I'd love to see you with a ring on. We must stop here. It's a gift from me. And to Garnt says, we must get the ring from her.

She will destroy herself. How? Ask Spaltec. I can't climb that slick pillar. Yeah, I look at Owl. What are you doing, man Well, it's not for my In there to wing how it fly up the object from her hand? Jimmy Pentegrin says you are only hope you must climb the pillar and take the ring from her finger

Won't be easy. You won't be an easy job kids is Baltic. She's experienced. She's experienced She's twice as cunning as any else guys. This is our chance. This is our chance to propose a long time with Lydia Yeah, a horrified whale floats down the pillar Lydia screeches. What have I done? The ring is burning my finger It's too late. Christ pentagom sinking to his knees. You have failed us Lydia No down we must flee or die. I can't, the ring is too hot. I can't use my hands. She cries, help me.

The pillar has started to tremble. You feel warmth flooding from it. If you're going to rescue her kid, Baltic says, you've got to do it now. Okay, okay. She's fairly allergic to like false gold. Yeah, yeah. There's no use Pentagon says says you could never climb the pillar

It's time to remove the ring from her finger soon the whole pillar would crash down Are you going to climb the pillar and remove the ring from Lydia's finger? It's so funny all these books being from the early 80s. There has not been a choice that we've made that hasn't involved saving this woman. Oh yeah. I guess we didn't we didn't we could choose to save it. She had to be saved. Yeah. Yeah. We definitely can't we definitely make the choice. I don't know about removing the ring but we're definitely climbing up there. Okay, we're gonna propose with the ring. Yeah. Okay.

Counterpoint, we do have chores, but I feel like this one. Our mom is, so you do like a couple chores and then climb. Yeah, let's do one choreo. Let's watch the dishes and then come. Okay. This episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slashcom slash Papa or promo code Papa for a free Yeti style tumbler. You won't want to take your burdogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. The pillar is very warm indeed. Luckily, it does not burn your hands and there are dozens of cracks to dig your fingers in.

You are nearly at the top. When it's tremendous shake, loose into your grip and you slide cracks to dig your fingers in. You are nearly at the top. When a tremendous shake loosens your grip, and you slide 10 feet back down the pillar, so it's getting hot to the touch, and you are not sure you can hold on, but you know you must try. Lydia screams from the top, help me! The pillar is crumbling, and the ring is burning.

We are doomed! Oh my God, I'm so fatalistic. I'm not doomed, you say to yourself, despite the fact that the pillar started to burn your hands. You give one last great effort scrambled at the top Lydia stands on the pillar holding her hand in the air tears run down her cheeks as she peers at those below See the ring glowing brightly on her finger. It is a two-headed serpent entwined in a holly leaves with a large Emerald set in the middle that is cool. Give me your hand you say Lydia thrusts her hands at you

I am trying you remove it. Someone else must remove it. Pentegrin calls someone innocent as yet untouched by the trials in the world. Okay, this is getting a little kinky. You can't really pull the ring from her finger. I'm not that it's just looking to get corrupted is the fate is so hot you drop it as soon as you pull it

from her finger. Oh my god, her finger. Hot. The ring falls and lands at Pentegrin's feet. Oh my god. So hot. The rain falls and lands at Pentagon's feet. We suck her finger. Thank you. Thank you, young warrior. Lydia says, you have saved my life.

The pillar no longer stays. Anything we say in response should be bubble. Thank you. I think that's hard. Her fingers are in our mouth. We're going to leave. Just go ahead and put your finger in my mouth. No, no, no. No, no, no.

Wow, wow, wow, wow. The filler no longer shakes and it's glow fades. Hey, Foxcries. Are you two staying up there all day? No, we're going in from the end of matter a minute. While you and Lydia scramble down the crack, pillar pentagon places the ring on his finger. It comes to life as you touch the ground,

the serpent slithers around the holly leaves and clings to his finger. Serpent small eyes shine, and it's tiny mouth breeze little flames, the great stone shines with the life of its own. I thank you for saving both Lydia and the ring, Gemely, even though I told you not to. Where I certain you had the strength to wear it,

I would give the ring to you in recognition of your great de. But this is a very powerful and primitive thing, made from the essence of good and evil. One must be not only pure, but strong of heart and wise of mind to wear it. Well, try to do Fox for it. Yeah, well, try to do Fox. Well, try to do Fox. Yeah. Well, for run. Because there's no real world man. So, uh, uh,

uh, Pentecostans. Old man Penta guard says crawl back into the crypt you came down we must seek the key of a bistic forces We must watch carefully for monsters for a pillar has moved surely our enemy knows of we are here Even as Penta guard speaks you see a change occurring in him you no longer old a man over He is now a stately middle-aged man. What what see we're all just playing into his game Yeah, you gasped and wondered. And he's trying to Benjamin Button himself so we can pick up with Lydia. Yeah. Oh, no. He gasped and wondered. And he says simply, hello, my name is Benjamin. The ring has restored some of my power. My Benjamin Button powers. We must seek huge movie. So I can

finish turning it. I'm really looking forward to it. 27 year old Brad Pitt. If we wish we can't let that happen. If we wish to make the evil one at full strength. We can't let him go full pit. I'm trying to feed people. I'm trying to face Leah. I'm trying to face Leah.

He knows we're down here now. He'll send his army of failed monsters down here to catch a rat. Botek, you're still here. Hey. What have you done besides getting your ass kicked by wolf? I killed the wolves. I got the least hurt Least her I got the least I have you just try to fox level now

Remember you bringing video back to my bulging muscles. I don't we're a little bit interested in me on top Don't you make like a tree and have sex with a tree? Yeah. All right, so he's, he's been, I'll put you up with tree. Ball sex basically like we got it, we got to get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Lydia's like, I agree says Lydia. I've already faced with that. Okay, well if Lydia thinks we should do it. Yeah, I even done you, I also agree. Funny how long I was on with him. I don't know what. The evil one is like, but he can't be any worse than the tests of the pillar

I say we sneak straight to the tower. This is us. No, this is Lydia I Middle-aged Benjagarn Benjagarn Benjagarn Benjagarn button Wants to find the other relic wants to find yeah wants to find the other relic wants to find yeah the course of what the fuck he wants and the old people are always obsessed with their fucking cubes am I right yeah Benchegarn we're calling him yeah Benchegarn Benchegarn wants to try to find the cube and the other two want to

go sneak straight to the tower fucking hate Thanksgiving when I have to go look at my grandparents cubes we was the the choices, can we go home? Is there a third choice? There is no. We have to go to the tower, or we can go. We can go home real quick if you guys want. Yeah, I can go home real quick. Yeah, okay.

Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. And mom said we could finally mace time. Let me go home real quick. She's gonna let us mow the launch. She's gonna throw the launch. Unfortunately, you have time to do your chores

before your mother returns. If you know the South wind holds, you do not have any desire to run off to the woods. Of the next few days. You're so good, your mother thinks you're sick. But you're not sick, you're just scared. You often wonder how the adventurers are doing, but since you would need to go to the pillars

of the Pillar's Appendium, and you're gonna find out. The question remains unanswered. Would your help have made any difference? Unfortunately, you'll never know the answer. Okay, that was fun. Let's pop back to the next one. I'm gonna pop back, yeah.

Sorry guys, we had to do some windexing. Okay. You're back. Do we go with Baltic and Lydia to the tower or everybody's sticking together, but what do we wanna do? Straight to the tower or Graphic Cube? Whenever Lydia wants to.

Lydia wants to. Yeah, because like the Cube is gonna. We're loyal to Lydia. Oh yeah. Okay. This is big. We can't let him go full pit. She almost died from an emerald a second ago.

It was really hot. We were there to save her. So I'm trying to save her from whatever she almost dies from next. Okay, I think we should follow Lydia to get you to save you. You said it. We're gonna slide luck.

So be it says Benjegarn. Follow me. He leads you into a dark corridor with no exit. He raises his hand high above his head, points his fingers at the wall, and water some magic words. Shink. Was that the magic words? Shink.

The wall in front of him opens into the night. You walk outside and stand on a ledge high on the mountain. Head of you, tall black tower rises high against the night sky. The tower is our goal, Ben Jagarton says. Fuck. Some of us may not survive our journey into it, but our mission is more important than our lives. Oh my God, I miss when he was fucking old. I'm a tight forty-four year old.

And the trail was soft, pony hands. Great, says Fox. I just remembered, I have an appointment with the game warden. With that Fox darts away down the ledge Yeah, it is so quickly you do not have time to stop him The night is torn by terrible screams almost immediately I'm not he gets in trouble again. You have two choices You may rush down the rubble in the dark to help your friend consider the good wait this just takes us back

What is going back? Rush down the rubble in the dark to help your friend consider the good wait this just takes us back Why did you back so we can wait now this this is a different Yeah, we can consider the good of the entire party again. Let's have Fox dies All right, yeah, we're gonna be a mistake for We regretted it. Yeah, we regretted it. I will regret it I wrote it into letting Fox live, but we're gonna pay J.D. Six You're nearing the end of the ledge when Pentagon halts. Suddenly, Baltech draws his sword and raises it for a mighty blow. Something creeps towards you. Stop, stop, you shout. It's Fox. A bedragile fox crawls out of the gloom.

Hi, he says, avoiding your eyes. What? I smelled an army of skeletons coming up the trail, so I went back to take care of them. You should have seen me out with those num skulls. There were hundreds of them marching off the trail. No one has gone out fucking get laid until Fox. I will, you have to take Fox home. I will, you're pathological, dude. It's not, it's not fun for anybody. I like the skeletons on a wild goose chase down the mountain

then circle back here. Aren't you lucky to have me along? You are. You are with your need for approval. What is the only one on a wild goose chase down the mountain then circle back here aren't you lucky to have me along you are With your need for approval What is the only one on a wild goose chase is us when we listen you guys you guys do Fox go clean our room How can you guys don't look for me go throw away our coat cans man Pentagon studies Fox a moment then laughs and says Yes, but I hope you do not plan

to leave us on our own again. In fact, your return comes at the right time. We now face a major decision. The legend's here. To I left a stairway leads down into the dungeons beneath the castle ruins. To our right, a stairway leads directly to the tower. That way is more direct, but it will be more dangerous.

What shall we do? Okay. I have something to bring up. Yeah. Fox's actions are a little weird They're erratic. Yeah, you can keep it up. And also don't you remember when he originally came back that him and pentagon aka Benjamin button Share to slide look is Fox in kuhuts with

Benjagarn I think I added the slide look I would buy it though. I would buy the Benjagarn and the Fox are like working together. It seems like the Fox keeps slipping away to like alert the minions of darkness about what's going on. That's what I'm like fucking freaked out about. How long and also magically Fox is the only one who didn't get hit by the goblin. Let's just go to the movies with Lydia.

Yeah. I don't We can go home again. There's a 4 p.m. of megan What are the options so we can either take a longer route Uh-huh, or we can go straight to the tower so originally the choice was like and then Fox got in trouble Uh-huh. Okay. So Fox just ruined that plan. Yeah, well, we can still go to the tower.

Okay, let's go direct. That's Lydia's plan, right? Yeah, that was Lydia's plan. Okay, yeah, yeah. We gotta see through, because I feel like the dungeons is gonna have the cube, which we decidedly didn't want. Right, okay.

Soft Night Breeze, filtered down the tower, stairway, damp, clammy, air. Choose the tower, you say. I'm fucking right on Fox's heels. I'm breathing down his neck, being like, Hey man, you have something you want to get off your chest? Just scurry off again. I just, I don't know why no one ever follows me.

You know? You start doing erratic things and then wondering why you're, you're just not for the good of the party. I'm gonna full owl aside and be like, Hey man, I know things have been weird between us You started doing erratic things and then wondering why were you're not for the good of the party. I'm gonna full owl aside and be like, hey man, I know things have been weird between us a little bit, but we're all doubling down on Fox.

So you gotta make a choice. I'm just afraid that if something happens to Fox, you are going to turn me into the Fox. I promise you. I don't think there's any evidence to support that. I would never have that. Okay, fine, Fox, get out of here.

All right, why don't I climb to the top of the tower with spurs Lydia the top doesn't seem to be guarded Then I can't happen then I can attach a touch of row She just just climb a tower Fox keeps getting in trouble Lydia keeps climbing towers getting in trouble I'll throw a rope down in the rest of you can climb up if we're lucky Maybe your staff is in the top half of the tower if it it's not, we can sneak down an attack from within. Let's suck out our fingers for good luck. I think that's a good idea, you say.

I'm out of my mind. Oh, good luck, we can only hope, says Pentagon in the blink of an eye. Lydia Darts away and starts climbing up the tower. You know you look directly at the tower. The Elven Thief is hard to see. She slips into every shadow as she creeps towards the top. You watch her progress breathlessly. God, can you imagine us doing chores for her instead of her mom? Wow, the dream. Lydia put me to work.

Lydia, point me in the direction of your dirty laundry. Lydia reaches the bathroom. She's gone. She smells clean to me. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute.

She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute.

She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute.

She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so smile. She flashes you a smile Long moments pass and the cloud of bats burst forth you hear nothing else and no one appears at the tower's edge Finally just when you fear the worst rope flies down and tangles along the side of the tower But maybe it does not appear. Oh tucking Fox inside your shirt I would never you grasp the rope and start up Pentegrin follows close behind and Baltic brings up the rear. In case the old man tires or slips, he's no man again. Oh fuck, my ring isn't working. The climbing is hard, and the added way to Fox does not help.

Lydia made it. Oh, this is so easy. Your hands burn and ache with the strain and the top of the tower seems very far away. At last your arm's aching and your breath ragged from the climb, your hand feels the top of the tower. Do you call breathlessly? Lydia, come help me, I'm so tired.

There is no answer. Do we need a saver again? Oh no. No, she's gone. This is a fucking monster. Was Lydia just like a figs? Should we switch to Baltic? Is anyone?

No, that's for the short rest. That's for the short rest. Yeah, short rest to Baltic! We'll do a Baltic! We'll do a Baltic! Baltic! I love that. Shraining to pull yourself Yeah, for the short rest. For the short rest, the ball tank. We're doing a ball tank, man. We're doing a ball tank, man. I love that. Straining to pull yourself up,

you finally hook a leg over the wall as you wait for your eyes to adjust to the darkness, you hear the familiar clacking of skeleton bones. So familiar. You see an open treasure chest on the far side of the tower. Ruby's emerald diamonds and pearls spill forth. You hear a cackling and then Lydia or what used to be Lydia comes towards you.

She's a skeleton Her empty eye socket staring Grins horribly and holds out a bony hand no bracelet stangle from her wrist and Rings decorate her bony fingers necklaces of gold hangar from her neck Okay, I'm gonna gym sit atop the glorious red hair, which still crowns her empty skull. Although one hand extends towards you, the other is ready to strike with a dagger,

the monster that was once your companion, clacks slowly towards you. Oh, this. Lydia, we can make this work, okay? No, we're going home. Shaking with fear, you want to hook your leg. I would have done your laundry. I'm grasping the rope scream.

Get down, hurry! Pentagon and Baltic cannot know what you have seen, but they do not question the urgency in your laundry. I'm grasping the rope scream. Get down, hurry. Pentagon and Baltic cannot know what you have seen, but they do not question the urgency in your voice. They climb down immediately and you follow them far. More quickly than you rose. When you finally reached the end of your rope, you followed the ground gasping for breath. As you lie in the ground,

you see Lydia Skeleton climbing down the rope after you. One of you give us your skin so we can give it to Lydia. Her greed was her downfall, says Pentagon sadly. It was a clever trap. Pentagon, you've been in it. It might probably be. You're the one wearing the ring, right? Give me the ring.

I can have the stuff. I've been heard you weigh it on anyone else personally. So you retrace yourself as fast as you can when you reach the mouth of the cavern, Baltic cries, no good goblins run for the ledge. You don't want to venture along the narrow ledge, the first goblin sticks its head out of the cavern and screams excitedly, here they are hurry hurry, you hear the gabbell of goblin voices, they will soon be upon you. As the three of you edge along the ledge, chill of wind, gusts violently. First the goblins is nearing you, its companions pouring onto the trail,

pushing and shoving each other in their excitement, Baltic allows the goblin to draw near then slams it with a powerful stroke. Okay, goblins streaks horribly. And it doubles off the mountain. The remaining goblins hesitate screaming with rage, finally their anger overcomes their fear and they rush after you.

Run, run for your lies! Baltic screams. Yeah, we run. We run as long as I can. Alright, wait your turn, Baltic, but we like it. He's ready for sword for the advancing Goblins, you hate to leave him, but Pentegrin cannot travel the ledge alone. Yeah. Besides, for the good of the party. Yeah, I think we're gonna run.

Alright, you guys run away, finally Pentegrin stops. We'll wait here for Baltic. No, I think we can run away. Finally, but MentorGuard stops. We will wait here for Baltic. At first, I think we keep running. At first, it seems Baltic will surely win as he slays Goblin after Goblin, but the tide of the battle slowly turns as he tires. Three Goblins armed with pikes remain. They can stay at a Baltic reach, yet still strike him easily

after tormenting Baltic for several minutes. God. One of the Goblins finally knocks Baltic sword from his hand. Moonlight shines on the blade as it tumbles end over end in the valley below. Baltic gives a chilling battle cry and flanks himself at the last three goblins. Trapping all three in his muscular arms, Baltic staggers rolls, then falls from the ledge and is gone forever.

Whoa, Baltic. Epic death. We lost both Lydia and Baltic without even making a choice. Yes, Baltic had an absolutely epic death and Lydia became a skeleton off screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After having already had a ring for her. Who's fingers can we still saw?

Same day, she had a ring for her. She went and grabbed like a crown. I would say that if her hands were boni, we can suck more fingers. Oh, good call. She fit them all in now. Oh, tech, you scream, falling to your knees and hearing your radio again. You see nothing of the brave fighter.

Pentagon please do something magic you please bring Baltic back please. Even I cannot do that. Gemini the old man says sadly first Lydia now Baltic it's too much I can't bear it you saw it's all over we've lost. Gemini calm down he barely knows these people. We did our best. I will says what more can we do? That's a good one. Yeah, kid don't be so hard on yourself says Fox you should be dad Take out the trash you fuck you are great. She will be proud of you Fox's voice quiver slightly

Petra be prouder if you could meet Baltic yeah Pentagon wraps us thin arms around you And bats you on the back gently Alan Fox are right. We did our best. Alan's give Alan Fox our rights Alan Fox all right We did our best some of us gave all there is to give our very lives death is never easy child Especially for those who are left behind But you can bear it and you must do so to do otherwise, would mean Baltic gave his life in vain,

but not Lydia for some reason? I don't know. Yeah, Tael is not completely told. Pentagon hates Lydia. There is history there. Oh shit. Yeah. We are not getting it.

Yeah, the tail is not completely told, and perhaps hope shall grow from despair. Pentagon says, you're weeping slowly halts. What do you mean, Pentagon? Oh God. Have you never wondered why you are different from others your age? Why you 37?

37? Have you ever wondered why you're different from other 37-year-olds? Why you can speak with animals and understand them? Why you can do little, but also you can clump. The answer is simple, Pentagon says. We share a rich and noble heritage, Gemely. For you are my great-grandchild.

The blood of nutty professors and also Dr. Doe Little's flow in your veins. When I die, the rightful ownership of the staff will pass to you. You are the NEPO baby now. Can I have the ring? But before that, time arrives. We will have many years together to regain what the evil one is stolen. I just feel like maybe we should hold. Yeah, we could go to Europe for a little bit. I don't know if we need to hang out. I don't think I'm a giant. My Benjamin Button ring isn't working. And even if we wait too long with that I'll just turn into a baby and it'll be weird like the end of the movie

Again, I haven't seen your movie. Yeah, I'm really I can't remember it I remember the end was kind of weird I turn into a baby There is a moment of silence and then Pentagon says come come child moment of silence and then Pentagon says, come, come child, come, come 37 year old. We will go now, but I will teach you all I know in time. We'll try again. And one day, I, yes, one day we will win the end. So we just, we lost our lover, but gained a grandfather.

A fate worse than death, I think. We lost two new lives, but the guy told us he was our grand mother. Instead of visiting us. We're just doing chores in the woods. Imagine trying to hook up with someone, and then they leave the party and then your grandfather show up. I know someone just died. You're just like, I'm not there right now, okay?

I don't, yeah. Hands of God, Pepp, what do you want to do? It's been a wildly chugged day. I don't want to be in this contact. Kind of wild that we tried to hook up in front of our grandfather for sexual war. Yeah. We thought we were competing with our grandfather.

I'm just kidding. I'm gonna let him. I don't know. He's seeing, he definitely does not like Lydia. Yeah, I'm gonna let you have drama. Well, I mean. This is what happens when we do adventure books as we die. But you can go on over to our Patreon,

patreon.com slash nad pod. That's any DDPOD do not sing yet. That's my favorite. Or the ballad pod. It's any ddp. Oh, D do not sing it's my I think the ball tech run. I was gonna suggest maybe we could go back to the point where we chose between Going through the dungeon or going directly to the tower. Yeah, I was gonna say literally we can go do ball tech's plan I've going room to room we got to go ball tech. Let's do a ball tech Yeah, we're gonna be nice to Fox and we're gonna be super nice to Fox and mean to Elle Mm-hmm. Oh wow. We're already hook up with Baltic. Yeah, we're gonna be nice to Fox. And we're gonna be super nice to Fox and mean to Owl. Oh wow. We're already kinda mean to Owl.

Yeah, we were basically mean to everyone but Lydia. That's true. You know what it didn't work. So now we're gonna be mean to everyone except for Baltic. Let this be a lesson everyone at home. Don't be mean. Yeah, somebody could be your great grandfather's. Don't be mean. Right, don could be your great-grandfather's. Don't be mean.

Right, don't be mean- My wife's saying. Don't be mean to your great-grandfather. Don't be mean to Fox's, no matter how annoying and talkative they are. And if you meet someone with bony but soft hands, they might be your great-grandfather. They might be your great-grandfather.

Yeah. Yeah, but be kind of Rogues, I guess, is the lesson here. Because they might turn into bones. There you go. Yeah, church, our Rogues, while we have them before they turn to bones. Be nice everyone. Everyone's they might turn into bones. There you go. Yeah, church are rugs while we have them before they turn to bones. Be nice everyone. Everyone's gonna turn into bones.

Yeah, everyone's gonna turn to bones. Oh yeah, there we go. It's a cheerio, too, cheerio. Unless they turn to, it's a big grandpa. Anyway, which case to live forever? Yes. Let's go and do some plugs. Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, Adlin, and Perthin.

Yes, Perthin. Yes, first. So check those out in adpod.com slash live. Anything else? I would love to plug some stuff from our PO box. Yeah, actually, first of all, say thank you to everyone that sent us Christmas cards, Christmas cards. We got a lot of them. Thank you.

Always nice to get like a little holiday love. Really appreciate that. So thank you so, so much for everyone that sent us things. Oh, please. And thank you in addition to Noah, the bagel of all things who sent us a Mr. Toad pin to honor all the wild rides our characters have been on. Oh, that's really cool.

Thank you Noah. I really love any excuse to think about Mr. Toad. Yeah. It happens often. Yeah. They drink too much. They drink a lot. They're just chummy.

They're fine. I'm worried about that. They're animals, who cares? Hannah wrote us a nice thank you note. We're happy we could keep you company on those long Montana drives. Thank you, Hannah. That's fun. Ilana sent me a hankerchief featuring an antique illustration of frogs and bathing suits

doing the limbo. It is my greatest treasure. I dab my lips with it every night, and I hope that I never cough blood onto it. Please don't. Kitty sent us a variety of teas, notebooks, and goodies. Mine was Icelandic Moss Milk. Whoa.

Which I am desperate to try, even though it looks like it will kill me and pilot my body via spores. Ooh. But that could be fun. Gail Force went into the bailiff, a handwritten D&D court case, and a total tank submission for a whole and brew system to determine what metals

various monsters are allergic to. My eggs are tingling, just thinking about it. Right. And then let's see, oh, someone sent us a custom toilet paper that says, shout out to the number two crew on it. That's great. Oh, that's fun. Our but that says, shout out to the number two crew on it. That's great. Oh, that's fun. Our buttholes, thank you.

So, yeah, 1920, Hillary Stavinyu, number two, two, two, mostfully, California, 9-0-0-27. Sweet. And again, head on over to our Patreon to listen to us do the ball-tack run. Did we do that? Don't sing it. And a DDPOD, don't sing it.

Don't sing it. Don't sing it. We did. Don't do it. Don't do it. You love the nation't do it you love the nation we are so to me to their mere my name is you that's it surface me I call these call my I assure

Emily at your good just say good you did about the choice I think that's on the topic DDPOD you got the information the information rolling with the hit dies

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