Not Another D&D Podcast - Baggin' it with Balnor: Unicorn Meat, JV's Wedding, and Hot Sex Tips (w/ Hardwon, Moonshine, and Beverly)

Episode Date: December 12, 2019

Welcome to Baggin' it with Balnor, the podcast hosted by Balnor and the morning zoo 2 crew. Moonshine and Beverly prank call Ol' Cobb, Pendergreens has an accident in Hell, and Hardwon defends some problematic sponsors. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Grenade" by Ljudmann at Freesound.org. "Glasshouse" by Themfish at Freesound.org."CINEMATICBOOMNORM" by HerbertBoland at Freesound.org."Car Breaking Skid" by Medartimus at Freesound.org.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Not a sidekick, I am the main show. Thank you for having me, Balnor. Pleasure to hear, brother. The main show just said thank you for having me. Shit. Balnor, let's take it again, pal. We've already tried four times hard one. We got a stick, which is one of these intros. Well, let's use the second version at least. Well, the second one, you just instantly started talking about Gemma and sobbing. You know what? The fifth time's the charm. I beg of you,

sir. Actually, the show is supposed to be live, so we shouldn't be doing any takes, to be honest, but let's keep moving. Yeah. All right. But we do have another sidekick, Moonshan Sabin. Moonshan Sabin. It'd be hard to argue that I wasn't a sidekick.

All right. You know, just a gardener and other people's gardens. Just prapping up others. And of course, the sidekickiest of all, Beverly Toggle. Hi, hi, my feet are very large, so it makes sense that I would kick things. Yeah, that's right. Oh, I never thought of that, Halfland Soccer.

How's that play out? Little Halfland humor for us all. Oh, I'm just trying to keep it light. I'm also a grocery. Halfland Soccer is actually very popular in Glateron as well as other stretches of Bohumia. Oh, yeah. It's hard because all the players keep hiding in the tall grass and it's more of a stealth thing. I see.

Yeah, the um, that sounds really fun to play and not that fun to watch. Yeah, the popularity kind of dwindled. They tried, like mowing the courts to make it nice and thin, but then everyone just, but there were still some halflings hiding in there. They mowed the soccer courts. Yeah, there were some, there were some deaths when they mowed.

Yeah, some halflings were mowed down about 10 years ago and we have. Wimbledness and a lawn mower, do you not mix? Yeah, I personally haven't played soccer since. Yeah, it's the giant wars and then the great mowing is the largest tragedy the halfling people have ever known. Yeah, okay guys, so again, welcome to in the bag with Balon or a little house keeping up top. We just want to apologize for last week's sponsor Unicorn Jerky. I've already explained this in the notepad file that a screenshot in on Twitter that despite what we said last week, I just

want to once again just reiterate that we do not endorse the hunting of rare unicorns, nor do we advocate killing them and then curing their meat. This will be the last time hard one works as our ad salesperson. I really hate to be canceled kids, thank you. Yeah, it's weird that hashtag cancel bound or was so prevalent when it was you reading the copy. I did, I R.T. ideal, yeah.

I R.T. the hashtag, I had to get ahead of it and try to cancel you to save my own skin. I was pretty well excited. It's not, it's not honestly also my fault. It's like hard for me to come across and have it in Turkey to not jerky it. It's like fortunate. Yeah, unfortunately, there's no revivify spell

for being canceled. So it's just something we all have to live with. There is reincarnate though, you'll just have to reinvent yourself. It's true. Yeah, well, that's a good idea. So we will be killing hard one life on Aaron, reincarnating him as a new brand persona. So get excited for that later on.

Yeah, we can't get out from under this unicorn jerky thing. We will be reincarnating ourselves. There's a lot of stuff that hasn't unearthed as well this year. Last week was really just the beginning. Tippy ice. Hard one. You really want to direct them towards some of the hidden, some of the hidden drawers in your airship.

I have an unlisted YouTube account. Oh, it's listed hard, huh? It's just, it just gets no views. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, it's because no one just gets no one watches it hard. One doesn't mean that people can't find it. I see. Yeah.

Anyway, guys, we've got a contest this week. If you are the second caller, we've got a contest this week. If you are the second caller, we've got tickets to Faye Chela being given to us by our sponsor, Pegas Spam. The only ham made out of real Pegas' meat. Oh, wow. Hard one. That sounds delicious.

Yeah, I sold an ad. I just thought you... We talked about this, yeah. Beverly edits the show. Moonshine books, The Live Tours. You do the ad sales. I gotta be honest. I know that.

I know that Bev can whip up a good sushi and I'd love to try Pegas Bam sushi. Oh yeah, some Pegas Bam is subi. Might be nice. Is that actual Pegasus in there though? Or is it, it's not. It's real. It's real Pegasus. Unfortunately, or is it it's it's not it's it's real it's real Pegasus

Unfortunately, I think it's yeah, it says the old ham made out of real Pegasus meat it really Hits the real there so I did here actually that Pegas fam is a scam and in fact is all just polymorph dolphin meat Oh That's somehow worse. Oh wait no, it's I, no, I'm looking at an article now. It's dolphin meat that was actually polymorph from chosen soldiers. So it's like double problematic. Yeah, yeah.

It's been triple polymorphed. Well, if we're eating chosen soldiers, that's fine. Well, that's a pre-roll and a mid-roll. So you'll be hearing that out again. We have this is a fully sponsored episode. We're also gonna do a full-roll and a mid-roll, so you'll be hearing that out again. This is a fully sponsored episode. We're also going to do a full-shrill. I really have to insist that you let me edit the ads from now on in addition to the show. Yeah, also the fact that you can't read and you just wing it every ad, and you give out

promo codes that the sponsor doesn't agree to. Right. That don't do anything. Interesting. Yeah, and a lot of times instead of giving a promo code, you'll just say, meet me at the corner and I'll give it to you. I'll just give you one if you see me.

And like, you can just have some meat from me. And no one knows what time you're talking about because the episodes usually release a little after we record them obviously, but you just record the ad and then go wait on the corner for people. And I appreciate this is all. I've gotten some choice promo codes from HardWon.

That's just your friend. That's just your friend giving you ham. Yeah, but I went to a corner in HardWon. Yeah, we met on the corner. It works. And then he whispered in my ear and said, you tell anyone else you die. Anyway, it's beautiful.

Anyway, Faith, Shell has got a great lineup. We had it sent to us today by our friend, Mason, Mixie. We got a Aero's Smith is going to be playing as well as Bozen, Roses, Counting, Drows, Lichen Park, The Ungrateful dead, which is of course, which is of course an all-litch cover band, and of course the return of the queen, formerly known as Ezra. What about the grateful undead?

Yeah, they'll be there too. Yeah, there's two bands with very similar names. That's confusing. At the opposite ends of the festival. Yeah, geez. No, it's good for you. Anyway, yeah, so for the contest, you need to be our second caller,

then you gotta say the phrase that slays, which of course is lemme bag that. We've got an engineer, engineer Papa working the phones. Rear, rear. That's what I say whenever I wanna bring home food from a restaurant. Let me bag that.

Yeah. That's slaves, everybody. You gotta remember it. Okay guys, that's slaves. Let's head into our first segment. This one of course is called Shout Out to the News Crew. I love this one. First headline,

Construction Delayed on Glade Home Congressional Water Park after tragic explosion. Acting Mima Mama has called a halt to construction of the Congressional Water Park after a tragic mishap during a vote on supplying aid for Hill Home refugees. The Congress people were to ride down a tunnel on single tubes, go through a loop de loop then convene in the pool below, unfortunately they never made it there a few Elven officials decided to double up and use double tubes Which were quickly caught in the loop de loop unfortunately everyone was way too rowdy and then did not wait for the lifeguard

Signal leading to a jam in the loop de loop and eventually Caused a loony-tuned style level explosion of water that sent dozens of officials scattered across Gladehome, some to the ocean below, several are missing and feared dead. Mad just interject. So it sounds like down in Gladehome, they're actually using the water park as more of a civic space in less of a place for young and to work out their energy. Right, yes, the congressional water park as we had originally pitch. Okay. I see. I see. Well, that's beautiful stuff. I'm so sorry that it's actually taken to

the church. Yes. Some of our greatest lawmakers are just missing. It sort of goes to show you that there shouldn't be laws, you know? Like, oh, that's, that is the weak link of this plan. Although there weren't laws, there would be no law makers. And if there were no law makers, there'd be no log jams. That's, you know, the logic is sound there. One could argue if they just hired a few more life guards, then maybe they wouldn't have been going down there on the double twos.

That's true. Down at the creek, we tend to have a bit of a suspicion of life guards in general. It's just, you know, sitting up on that hot true, down at the creek, we tend to have a bit of a suspicion of lifeguards in general. It's just, you know, sitting up on that high chair, looking down at everyone, judging them. It tends to breed sort of some hoarded toitiness. Right, I can see somebody sitting up there

like they know who their daddy is. Exactly, yeah. Exactly, so we actually, we do have lifeguards, we just make sure that they stand at a Non-offensive Hi, yeah, there were few there were few Crit congress people that did yell at the lifeguards

You you standing up there with that whistle like you know who your daddy is Yeah, whistles also pretty offensive because it sounds like you're trying to be a whistle bee whistle bees. Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember. Yeah. I remember those from the creek.

They, they cost quite a ruckus. Um, I did not get a single night sleep while we were there on account of the whistle. Yeah. Well, they are the resident referees. And there were a lot of night games going on. Yeah. Yeah. They don't, they only do it

luckily during games. Yeah, well that was, that was actually what caused the great mowing was the whistle bees were whistling so loudly that the halflings couldn't hear the lawn mowers coming unfortunately. So halflings. No. Yeah, we kind of a bad relationship with whistle bees

unfortunately. I'm so sorry, but I didn't know that. It's just, it's okay. Tragedy on tragedy here. Yeah, I so sorry, but I didn't know that. It's okay. Tragedy on tragedy here. Yeah, I don't, guess I don't really know Balnor why you brought up a national tragedy on our morning zoo radio show. We all have hurt and this show is about exploring the hurt.

Well, it's not necessarily about, it's just about talking traumatic past, unervening the thing you going to do this hard one. I wasn't going to, but Balnor gave me this platform, and I'd love to expose the raw nerve. Well, it does seem like- You'll give me this stage. When the microphone is out, the walls come down with hard ones.

Yeah. No, you need the walls up. They provide sound proofing. Keep the walls up. I think that's very valuable. It's actually therapeutic to speak into a microphone because you can't see any of the people that you're confessing your hurt to.

It's sort of fitting in that regard. Uh-huh, yeah. Yeah, and yet you're not, it's also you're not all alone like on your YouTube channel. Yeah, my YouTube channel is, it's a horse meat barbecue. Oh, a hard one's horse meat barbecue, That's right. Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. Is your YouTube

channel the nice guy of Iron Deep? Is that you? That was my original one. It was taken that one was flagged and taken down. Not for the content. I actually was just using a lot of copyright and music. The grateful undead was the background to me sizzling some equestrians. So, yeah, you're gonna get a bunch of strikes for that real quick. That's pretty smart, obviously, to take that down. Oh, hang on. Actually, Papa's signaling to me.

We've got a caller number two live in the bag with Boundor. Hello. It is me. It is Katia in the bag with Boundor. Hello, it is me. It is Katia from the door from the Cheva. I want to pick it up. Hi Katia. Oh, Katia. I would like to go to Fayette Shella and listen to all of the music.

Oh, ain't that a vision, a dwarven at Fayette Shella. Yes, it is cool that the door from the Cheva. Dremes come true, Katia. Wow. Katia. We're just gonna need you to go ahead and say the phrase that slays Say it say the phrase say the phrase I do not I do not remember the phrase. Oh Balnor give it to her that we got the take anyway guys my hands are tied All right guys what what do you want me to do? She doesn't know the phrase that slays.

I side with Balnor. But, I side with Balnor, I'm sorry, I gotta show my cruelty here. I just want to know the one breeze that's in jail. She's a goddamn golden bell, no, let her go, she doesn't know the phrase that slays, hard one.

What do you want me to do? It's a pre-example. She's a great of game or something. Okay, yeah. Okay, give her a hint. All right. All right. It has something to do with bagging it.

Okay, that's easy. That's a nice alley of content. All right. There you go, Scotch. All right. I'm going to say, I I'm gonna say, bringing a bag with you. Big, ding, ding, ding. Well done, Kacha. I'm sorry, that's actually incorrect. Pop-Up, we cut the line.

We're gonna have to cut the line there. No, please. Okay, wow, guys, still room to be the caller since Katsu did not make it. We're gonna be waiting for the 20 second caller here. Can we at least give her some of the meat? Can we at least give her some of the mega spam? I stay in with Balnor.

This isn't a Toyota commercial, the same charity. Right, that's right. You gotta say the phrase that slays. This is fucked up. Katya, we will be sending you some Pegaspam. I have to do is meet me on the corner. And I promise not to tell anyone. It's pretty easy.

We're gonna go ahead and yeah, we're gonna call you off mic. We're gonna set up a time for, you know, we'd hard one. He'll give you some Pegas's ham. I have to imagine we're gonna have to ditch that sponsor after our sponsor. Keep it on the DL, please. As a side note, should that young

and really have been going to Faye Chela, I did a lot of drugs there. Yeah, that's true. I think it's better that maybe they don't go and maybe we just give them some Pegasus ham. Yeah. Anyway, guys, another shout out to the news crew. This one's ripped straight from the headlines.

Moradin brings new meaning to divine intervention. Moradin, God and greater of the dwarves recently performed the rights of marriage for two lucky dwarven angels. This is the first time a god has performed a wedding since the first people of Bohemia when the gods first walked the earth. Lucky couple, Jivel, oh.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I got it. Yeah, it was the, I was the ring there. I feel like I should just come out and say that right now. I was there. I did bring the rings down the aisle. I read a tasteful passage from one of Melora's more religious trips. It's actually insane that I read this, but I got smashed on Bud Heavys. I was there.

I understand you guys not inviting me because I don't, I didn't really know Jivelin that well. I didn't spend any time with him, but I just want to know who the guy ended up with But maybe you were you were there too You were just you were like just doing circles in a big drill car out in the front yard You were so drunk. Do you not remember this? Yeah, you're really drunk and you kept saying probably more of me into a wolf Please please moon shine, I need this. I have a vague recollection, but that was, that was a, that was a gem was, oh, yeah, yeah,

Jill got married. I didn't realize that Mordyn did the thing. Yeah, no, it was, it was actually, it was actually a beautiful ceremony. Okay, cool, so it's all connected here for me. Yeah, it is crazy. Yeah, you actually, you know what? It wasn't all bad because you did post that video online of you just like on the floor eating Pegasbam on your YouTube channel. That one did really well. That one went viral, but not for the

reasons that I wanted it to have gone viral, you know? You know, that was one of the, that was actually part of moonshine's passage at the wedding was sometimes you don't get to choose What you're known for that's one of the teachings of Mallora Yeah, yeah, Mallorra loves to just give hard advice and she specifically likes an uncomfortable wedding passage I bet well, I mean what was the I don't even hey, I like I'm I don't give a shit. How was the How did they seem how did they seem, like did they French kiss as like the first kid, like when they were like, you may now kiss each other?

Would it be more to say, if it makes you feel better, it was so much more tasteful than any of the Insta stories they posted from their honeymoon. Yeah, okay. Well, I don't follow Gemma because she blocked me. So I don't, I'm sorry. He's like, here's the thing, they weren't follow Gemma because she blocked me, so I don't, I'm sorry. Here's the thing they weren't gonna do tongue, but then Morton himself said let me see some tongue Really and then yeah, they just really started friendship right in front of him

Actually, he banished them to a demi plane so that they could consummate tastefully during the reception Yeah, okay very thoughtful. That was, that's like one of the things that I have nightmares about. So it's interesting that it happened. So, like, so, so closely to how I imagined it in a way that makes me hate. Jim actually, yeah, she gave a speech

about how much JV meant to her, and that sometimes having a closed thing means more than having an open thing. Well having an open thing, there's also a lot of value there. And I don't know if she ever said that she had got to sloppy second base with someone in high school, but Givalen should know that he wasn't the first, you know. Yeah, I think he knows and he respects that. It was actually crazy because Givallin had so many XX's,

X lovers there and they all just had really healthy relationships with him. Yeah, it was like really beautiful to just see them, you know, interact with him, support him. Totally, yeah, no, it's good. I think that's nice and that's why I got some, I got them something from their registry. I had it delivered to my place, so I have it.

But like. Oh, okay. I actually think that's how a registry works. You couldn't get it delivered to your place, and that's necessarily, and maybe you now just own something that they also own. I so what I wanted was just own something that they also own. I, I, so what I wanted was to own something that they wanted. And I thought that I could buy the only one,

but I guess maybe, maybe. Bed, Bath, and Beyond usually has like copies of whatever this is. Yeah, it was just towel. Yeah, it was, it was towels. So you could band it up with the towels as well. I thought I could, we just had their towels and they were wet. That's just how it was. It is weird that you ended up with the towels as well? I thought I maybe just had their towels and they were wet.

That's just how it's just. It is weird that you got towels with their monogram on them, though. I don't know why you did that. That's just a painful reminder. Yeah. It's anything but painful. The towels are very plush.

I absolutely don't know. Well, you know what? In the end, you got some towels out of the deal. So you gotta be happy there. I am not. Uh, I'm getting the signal from Papa. We got the 22nd caller here, 22nd caller, who do we have on the phone?

Oh, hey gang! Oh, hang up. Yeah, hi. Down or hang up? Technically, is A, you never, Papa, I swear. Papa throws his hands up. I swear I'm a low as good grace.

I swear that I will never pick another might out of your dirty fur if you don't hang up right now. Papa hangs up. Wow, that's. Papa, I hope you're ready to defend us in court. There's a, I've got it on the right don't think you have to pick up the phone. I don't think that's a legally binding thing, Belnor.

Right. You know what? We run a tight ship around here. You got to say the phrase that pays, and the phrase that slays rather, the phrase that pays is actually a thing that they say on some other radio show. And yeah, we're just looking at all kinds of legal problems

at this point. Oh yeah, that's a deep mind. Yeah, we said he was the 22nd caller. We at this point. Oh yeah, I'm with mine. Yeah, we said he was the 22nd caller. We didn't give him a chance to say the phrase that slaves. I hope you're ready to defend us pop off because Denny is a rich, rich man. There's a trills.

Guys, I've got another shout out to the news crew here. Here we go. Troll Wars and Thrag the Merciless, killer of everyone named Troll King. Following the destruction of the free pixies, the trolls quickly turned on each other, fighting over the throne in a game of political musical chairs.

But finally, the wars have ended and it seems that a troll named Thrag the Merciless, killer of everyone has been named Troll King. Will there finally be peace? Now that Thrag the Mercilessess killer of everyone has been named troll king. Will there finally be peace? Now that Thrag, the merciless killer of everyone is in charge. I gotta assume yes. Yeah.

That sounds good. Sounds like whoever helped that process along was doing their part. Oh yeah. Well see the problem with all the previous rulers is that they didn't kill everyone. Yes. They didn't quite have, you quite have the stones for it, but it seems like Thrag the merciless is really,

you know, he's a guy that knows how to get the job done. I like that. I like that Thrag goes with his gut. You know what I mean? Thrag is also thorough. It's not like a thrush, the merciful killer of some. Right. Yeah. Just half-assing the job, honestly. Yeah. Literally chopping off one ass cheek and leaving the other one. Yeah.

That's not enough. I think the thing that's going to make Thrag a great leader is that after the troll wars, there are only like three trolls left. So it's pretty just, it's pretty much just, it's pretty much just Thrag, the merciless killer of everyone bossing around like two or three dudes, who he'll probably kill, and then there'll be no more trolls,

which is good. That's a good question. If for an order for Thrag to commit to his campaign promises, i.e. killing everyone, what does he have to include himself in that commitment? Oh, yeah, that's a great question. It would be great because he is a terrible, terrible guy.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know how terrible he is. He actually, he just, yeah, I just got a ding on my speaking stone. He just ordered a Pegasus. Oh, Pegasus. So, he's got a taste for it, huh? PegasusStainabilityMeat.com.

And yeah, he put it in order. So, thrash if you're listening, meet me on the corner. Don't tell anybody, obviously. Oh, I want, is that, is that Pegasus Bam? Is that wild caught or are they farmed? Both. Both, okay.

Yeah, catch them and then they put them on a farm and then they shoot them with a crossbow on the farm, I think it's what it is. Okay, so even the ones wild caught are still killed on a farm. They are. Right, they are caught in the wild, brought to a. And then worked to death on a farm. So exactly.

Adora, that worked. Did that. Yeah, they've got those Pegasus. They clamp their wings down. They clip them like you would a parakeet or something. And as long as they got three feet of space you can call them free-range Pegasus that's fine What if we done

Pegaside who did not actually like to fly? Interesting interesting anyway guys. We've got another We got another segment here. We like where we used to like to call it, Gem Gem to Pendidrenes, but now we're gonna call it Sword Lore with Pendidrenes. So if, if Pendidrenes, if you can go ahead and you hold your sword up to the mic just a little.

Let me just, oh hey, guys, who's going to, hey. I kneel to my king. Hey Pendidrenes. Hey, how's the, how's hell going? I know it's going All right. I am recently Entered myself twisted my ankle broke my kneecaps Snapped my hip Broken back

What is your neck is my neck is broken. It got a couple of herniated discs back there What were you doing, Vandering? You know, did you fall into a meat grinder? I didn't fall into a meat grinder, see? Now that the whole first layer of hell is pretty much just a destruction derby, it's rad as hell, but it's also super, super, super dangerous. Uh-huh. Another almond charge is basically no laws

The only law is that you have to be you have to be driving around in a dangerous car at all times Okay, and I was driving around Just trying to get some groceries. I wasn't trying to do the destruction derby thing I was watching some funny ass videos on YouTube Yeah, no, I was driving while watching YouTube You just got into a car accident, right? Yeah, I mean, so, uh, here's the driving it. So basically, I'm driving right in my monster truck, right?

Uh, this is a tiny monster truck. Uh, I call it a miniature monster truck. A truck. It just hurts some some people might call it Just a truck, but I think that's no fun. So I call it a miniature monster truck. Anyway, I'm driving around my miniature monster truck I'm looking through YouTube. I'm looking at a Deadpool meets the Joker videos which are fucking hilarious Yeah, it'd be like a do dressed up It's Deadpool and then another one dressed up as a Joker in their story. Yeah, hard one. I have seen your both your Deadpool and your Joker audition videos

So I was watching hard one those are all listed Break break the four fall as Deadpool saying Do you ride Reynolds? I could be a freaking sidekick But what's weird is that hard one was dressed up as Deadpool? So how could Deadpool be Deadpool sidekick? It doesn't really make any sense Uh-huh And as I was pondering that I looked up and there was just giant fucking tank that just rammed into me hard So hard

Everything went white. Uh, I woke up, uh, three weeks later, uh, and again, uh, I had rolled my ankle. I had broken both my kneecap. So I went with your hip. I knack your head. The real thing is, yeah, her knee and the discs and whatnot. Uh, she was. Who ruled hell for those three weeks that you were in a coma.

No, we noticed really. Cars we just, uh, you know, we do us out here. Uh, see hard one. Moonshine, this is why you need lifeguards. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. Yeah, I think about it. How are Josh and, um, how How are how are Josh and Russ?

You know what he was actually them that ran me over Presumably they're doing fine cuz my car my car was a wreck and when I woke up Three weeks later. There's was gone. So They were like Oh, I didn't go to a hospital. There's no hospitals here. I laid on the street for three straight weeks. I woke up and I said, what time is it? And they said, it's Tuesday, the 17th, at 6pm.

And I said, I went out for a morning drive at 8 a.m. on Friday the 28th. That's when I woke up. You know hell it's not a nice place. They're going to take you to the hospital when you crash your car while you're watching freaking hilarious YouTube videos. Well I wish I had known I would have sent you a gift basket. Ah, I appreciate it. You can still send me one now if you'd like. Okay, I'll send him a gift. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, no matter what, I'll just tell us clothes that will probably take a few years, but you know, I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, we'd send you some edible arrangements of like chocolate strawberries, but I feel like all the chocolate would melt off by the time it got there. Yeah, I think banishing melts chocolate. Yeah, ain't it got there. I think banishing melts chocolate.

Yeah, I ate it the way. I guess I have one question. Why did you think you needed to go to the grocery store as the ruler of hell? Couldn't you have sent like a minion or an imp to do that? Well, here's the thing, it's pretty much a destruction derby down here. I've got pretty much all the minorlings working

as sort of destruction derby rodeo clowns. They run around, they hop in barrels, they squirt each other with squirt guns. It's freaking hilarious. We just run them over and we break all their bones. I think that might be the reason I didn't get any help because what happened to me, I've done to people many times. It's just ultimate kind of j help because what happened to me, I've done to people many times. It's just ultimate kind of justers that this happened to me. If anything, it just sort of sounds like maybe

it worked in your favor that they didn't see your weakness and just thought you were dead and left you for dead. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think you know what, for all my shortcomings, I'm pretty hard to kill. I'm a hardy guy. Againardi guy Again broken neck two broken ecaps and a roll dangle Do they have to take your armor off to operate on you or is that just still kind of all wrapped around you like a like a bent Soda can okay no

I'm calling from your car. I'm gonna just walk it laws. Yeah guys. Well, it's watching a YouTube video Then I got a ding there You we call him in the car he should have told me wow Pentegrines Pentegrines there Pentegrines a really big war machine that rolled over him. All right Pentegrines, I command you to answer war machine that rolled over him. All right, guys.

That greens, I command you to answer. All right, guys, you know what? Once again, everybody has to stop watching Deadpool videos while they're in destruction Derby's. Once again. How am I supposed to get amped for the destruction Derby though? Answer that. That's a good question.

You can enjoy all the rodeo clown destruction or maybe rodeo clowns. You know what, that actually brings us to our next ad. Watch while you drive new Deadpool Joker videos. Oh, this is about it now. You gotta read the copy verbatim. This is app that helps you watch videos while you drive. Oh my God, okay.

You know how like if you have an in GPS a GPS in your car, it won't let you put things in while you're driving. This is the opposite, it won't let you use it unless you're driving. It's a bad, it's a bad happen. You're gonna have to edit that out because they're obviously not gonna pay up if we.

As to where I forget, hard ones, the one who chases down these ads. Hard ones. Hard ones, yeah. Hard one if I could be frank. I don't think I want their money. Well, they're not gonna, well good because they're not gonna pay it at this point.

But if you do wanna test out the app, use the coupon code hard one knows how to do it without looking at the road. It's a little long, it's a little cumbersome. Is this just a service where you like hack people's cars so that they can watch videos on them while they drive? Yes, so what I do is I go over, you meet me on a corner and I can jerry rig your GPS to make it so you can watch YouTube videos while you drive. You just have to promise

as usual not to tell anyone. I'm not criminal, but I'm impressed that you can do that hard one. As a businessman, there is just so much secrecy in it. Yeah. You are worse than the worst drug dealer, hard one. Thank you, Ball Noir. Very crafty, though. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield, kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop- promo code Papa for a free yeti style

Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Alright guys, and then let's move on to another segment. We're calling Cricklickers. This is where we prank call NPCs throughout the campaign. Kind of pull the wool over their eyes, have a little fun boy. Fennel, is there anybody you guys want to call and lay kind of an epic goof on?

And maybe Katia from the door for Niche. Okay. Oh, that's cruel, bootchime. That's true. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I got a little Crick Licker to myself. Right.

Let's fuck with Cobb. Nobody likes a prank with Mooka. All right, I'll so sorry. I'm so sorry. I got I'm a little quick licker than myself. Right. Let's fuck with Cobb. Nobody nobody likes a prank You guys want to call up oh Cobb? What's the what's the prank? Who's who's taking uh who's taking who's trying you know how to get is you know how to get as a goat right? Yeah, well, we're back you up. Are you are you gonna do a voice? Are you guys gonna do voices? Are you guys gonna call us yourselves? I mean, I think we'll probably cause ourselves. I mean, probably we just, probably just tell them that someone lower decked his toilet. Oh, that's good. All right.

It's where someone just uses your toilet. Right. In a normal way. Okay. Oh, that's tragic. All right, let me get a cop on the speaking stone and you guys can take it from there. All right. Yeah Hello, hey

God is me moonshot moonshot. Hey, how you doing? I'm good. I'm good I stopped back in the creek and I got some real bad news for you I went to your stump because it was unlocked and I I saw in your toilet someone lower decked your toy Oh God yeah, all right I saw in your toilet someone lower decked your toe. Oh my God. All right. Forget it. We can't hold the front. Lads.

I gotta get home. I gotta get home. Oh my God. He got you guys. He hung up. He hung up. Hi, Daniel Cobb. It's Beverly.

Oh, that was a prank. You got prank dude. You got guys. He hung're gonna be a whole thing. He hung up. He, uh, he ran. He left. He left his lines, huh? Yeah.

He's just, okay. He's just running home towards the creek, which is the chosen, of course, I've occupied it. I think I'm just hopefully all of his troops won't abandon the battlefield as well. Can we get an update on what's happening in Iron Deep? Yeah, let me go ahead and I'll get O'Cob in the line. Okay, okay. Oh, and I got an idea, get him back on the line.

Here we go. Okay, great, great, great. That's gonna be good. What, what the fuck do you want? Hey, O'Cob! What, O'Cob, it's a really beautiful woman. What? What? Say, is that you a really beautiful woman. What? What?

Say, say you, say you, Mary Mel? Oh, yes! Oh my god! After all this time, you come to save me! I'm surrounded at all sides! I made a run for it and trying to get back to the crinker herd someone at the face of my home! But I knew you'd come for me, baby!

I knew you'd come for me! Oh, Jesus, I'm looking at that. Maybe I need you to come down now, I. I knew you'd come for me. Oh Jesus I got Belldor fuck You you hi, yes, um, this is uh, oh, oh, this is the the boy king of Galatoron and Sports car haha what You I want to be the sports car I won Yet but you the only way for you to get the sports car you have to what you have to do is you have to say Uh, I'm I'm a big ding dong and I'm a big big

I'm a big ding dong. Oh, I was there what a jabbel in oh Damn it. Oh, this is my position. There's a round in me put me rebuild that gone. We're sitting at sports car Said the sports car. I got to get out of here If you all right, so we're gonna be sending the sports car To to 69 for 20 you got print you got print oh my gosh For again, I feel for it. Oh That's an egg on my face. Oh shit. Well, I've separate myself from my allies. There are Oh shit, well if separate myself from my allies there are there are guards coming in from all angles I don't know if I can hold them all off, but that's fucking hilarious guys. All right. Well keep it light

Yeah No one lower deck your toilet just upper deck. Oh, thank god Hainlessly, oh thank God flowing upper deck, but lower deck is clean. All right, guys, well, you know what, I'm gonna try to contact my allies, get them to get me out of this corner here. Hey, Irland, help me out of here, man. What?

All right, well, here's hoping they survive. Wow. Yeah, wow, that prank call really made me feel terrible. So I guess it didn't work. I think we're right. Yeah, I think we pranked ourselves. I agree. Yeah, in a way. All right guys, you know what we had some listeners submitted questions. This one is going to we're gonna kick it off with a new segment. The people are calling hard tips with hard one. Chris H asks, question for hard one, any tips for the bedroom I ask because you've clearly had sex before. And then also I'm brand and asked hard one, what is the best sex position for maximum pleasing of a lady

and moonshine you could probably verify whatever hard one says. Yeah, yeah, it sounds like this for hard one. So I'm gonna take the back seat. Yeah, hard one. Just I wouldn't mind having a copilot there at all moonshine. But yeah, it's everyone knows that that's like 34 times. Should I go in and cast out a truth? Just so we can get like the full honesty for the situation.

That's actually good. One dies out of the way. It's the ground. Whoa, because... Dives out of the way. Dives. Dives. It's the ground. Whoa, I slipped on a chair. And I'm telling the truth about slipping. Don't point that fucking cone at me, brother.

Oh, wow, you're getting Pegasbam everywhere, hard one. It's all over the floor. I did, I had a little pouch of it, and I was not close. Of course, it comes in a pouch. It comes in a pouch like that. And that's the tar tar version. You don't need to cook it. It's that clean.

Just put an egg right on there, of course. So bedroom tips, obviously, you wanna have sex in a bed. So, right? Stay. Well, sometimes, right, hard one. You're gonna experiment with the lip passion passion move your limbs as it might. Indeed, and that's why we'll have sex sometimes not in bed and sometimes other places.

Yeah, tell you what. Where? Where? Where specifically where the fuck the refrigerator of fire? Like bad. Like bad. Or like turn it over.

I gotta hear the story You had sex like you're hiding out and out of my box. You had sex in a refrigerator hard one I was trying to name other places that you could. I'm not saying I did maybe I did so you haven't so you haven't had sex Well, no I once had on it on a leaf you can do it anywhere that leave, you can do it anywhere. Just like a normal size. Like a leaf, like the ones at Glade Home. The best part about sex is that it can happen at any time with any one and wherever.

Munchain, take it away, please. I feel like I'm getting, I'm getting ganged up upon. I mean, I would agree, no, you, I mean, you were really saying something, lightning stuff. So yeah, I would agree with hard one that sex can often, you know, could essentially happen anytime with consent anywhere, with consent with with anyone. Um, as far as a fridge, hey, I've never been that freaky, but you know, also, I'm also a druid. So if I need to

cool something down, I usually just cast a couple of cones of colds, you know. Yeah, that's it. I would have said that's a ton of cold. I don't have a fridge in my apartment. That's probably why. As someone who's hoping to learn a little more, you know, just for when the, when the day comes, so you, you do need to be in a fridge. It won't work. We're supposed to be in the fridge. No, I, I'm so sorry, hardwired. I will, I will just to won't work with the fridge. No, I'm so sorry, Hardware. I will just to clarify for the young men. No, no, you should, you go ahead, because my throat is actually feeling really dry.

So I think I might even just take a, oh, it's that big of a sandwich right out. It's very sodium, maybe. Take a sip of water. Yeah, you don't have to be on a fridge. Chugs of canteen. In fact, I'm actually highly confused whether you could do it on a fridge be on a fridge. Chugs of canteen. In fact, I'm actually highly confused to whether you could do it on a fridge or in a fridge.

I think if you, for example, went to a nuclear blast zone and they just had a fridge for people to hide in, maybe you could get in that unplugged fridge, or if you were super into cold temperatures, you could maybe take out all the shelves and get real. Really into cold places there. Yeah, cold place. So what I think I meant was buy a fridge. So just if you're near a fridge, you can have sex there. And in terms of positions, I think maybe me and Munchen will trade

off some positions. Oh, you know what though? I'm so biased. What about what are your favorites? I'm biased as well. And I like freaky ones and normal ones. And they're all good to me. I'm the opposite of bias. I can't choose a favorite.

So do you take the stuff out of the fridge or is that staying there? I guess I'm still just not fully enlightened on the subject about whether like if you need to leave certain things in, like do you take your ginger out or like? You can take everything out of the fridge and replace it with sustainable Pegasus. Please check it out. Hardware loves.

I thought you said it didn't have to be refrigerated. In fact, just like I said, I don't have to do it, please don't refrigerate. It says do, oh yeah, shit. He says do not refrigerate. Oh, you got to get that out of the fridge. I think it's going to come back to life. All right, guys, oh, I'm getting a signal from Papa.

We actually have the 220 second caller. Oh, I'm fine. I'm going to pop off and that over. All right, listener, go ahead and give me the phrase that slays. Shit, at this moment, I think I forgot the phrase that's like. Let me bag that. Oh, my friends. Ren, you've won free tickets today.

Do you have a problem? Wait, no, no, Papa, check the record. Unfortunately, I believe you need to be a resident of Bohumia and not an outer lying territory like an island to claim your prize. So I don't think this is gonna work out. I'm gonna sue you. He is, can you.

We're gonna sue you. We're already doing denny. We're doing denny. You really not already have tickets to pay, Chellin'? Oh, I do, yeah, but I wanted to win these ones. Oh, what are you gonna do with the ones you won? What do you mean I don't know burn them throw them out? I have I have what do you want? Give them to Kaccia. Give them to the Dwarfins. Why would I give them to Dwarfins? Why would you burn them? I don't know them.

Well actually it's so it's so funny that you call because we've also got the boy king of Glateron here and he wants to give you another gift. Here he is. He's got another gift for you. It's a big toilet full of vomit and it's for you. Ha ha, you got pranked hang up. What? You. Wow. We're getting sued from all angles here. We're doing it. We are going to owe more money than we have made on all of these suspicious companies. Essentially, the contest is canceled because we're screening people based on if we like them or not and saying if they can win the contest, could we just take the tickets?

We're already in a lot of legal trouble as it is. We might as well just ask on. And that couldn't be a nice segment, you know, us like on the field, that faith cell, a reportin' who's playing the hits and who's leaving a battle. We can't have t-shirts. Yeah, we could end up getting kind of a political immunity

maybe by fleeing and going to another realm. That might be the plan. We could use Mage Hand to throw t-shirts too, like a t-shirt cannon. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, we could hang out with the new King Thrasch. You know, say what you will about him, those three remaining orcs are getting to go to college for free.

So I think that's very bold. I think that's a progressive stance. That is true. That is true. And he's a kind of a leftist if you think about it. Well, he's left handed. That's the blade he holds. He's a... That's the if you think about it. Well, he's left-handed. That's the blade he holds. He's, that's the army holds his blade in.

Sure, these are leftists in that respect. All right, guys, we got some questions. We're calling this shout out to the cruise crew. Andrew G and Michael M had questions about traveling around Bahumia. I figured we could pool our knowledge here. So guys, if you had 24 hours to explore your hometown on vacation, how would you spend it?

Why don't we start with moonshine here? If people are going to the creek, what do they need to hit up? Okay, if you're going to the creek, first off, must eat the brown stuff, must huff, creek water, naturally. That's like, that's your brunch. I'll tell you start your day. You do that, yeah, creek water, naturally. That's like, that's your, that's your brunch. I'll tell you, start your day.

You do that. Yeah, you want to do that in terms of where to stay. It's just finding a lock stump. You know, squatting is a pretty respectable thing. Just make sure you sign the guest book because it would be rude if you did not. Right, and do not use the regular part of the toilet. You heard that.

That's for acorns. Yeah, the regular part of the toilet is for acorns, upper deck only. And then in terms of, you know, what, you gotta go to a crawfish boil. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. You know, you gotta go to a crawfish boil. If you are, if you are getting around, make sure,

if, you know, make sure that you hit your ride with a crock instead of a gator, because the gators will, they'll gouge you. Right, yeah. Gator's gouge. Yeah, you listen for the whistle bees, because the whistle bees will be whistling at the gators for gouging people. So if you hear whistles, that's a gator.

If you don't, that's a crock. Yeah, so that's pretty good, that's pretty easy to remember. Yeah. Pretty much just staying someone's on lockstump. Go go to a crawfish boil, go to a crawfish bake. There's not too many things that you should be warned not to do. We're pretty open-minded. So yeah, I would say that's that. All right, Beverly, if people are going to go later on, what do they, what do they got to see? Oh, well, first and foremost, you gotta go to a trial by combat.

They are fantastic. I unfortunately had a very bad experience with one, almost lost my father's life, but you know, if you don't have a personal stake in them, they are a real treat. Just watching. Two warriors fight it out for the honor of a lesser noble or someone that can't fight for themselves.

And then the loser gets tossed in a hole that leads down a Rocky Mountain path. So basically, don't do any research into why the trial by combat is happening because that might make it. Oh, that could spoil it. Yeah, you're going to want to go and blind and cure so that you can really just like live in the moment of the experience. And then afterwards right down the street, there is actually a whistle bee's restaurant. And they do an amazing slider sampler that you can get there. And I think they just added a, you know, a Pegas spam

as well as an impossible Pegas spam slider. So you can really, there's not just that one. Yeah, it's just a cool one. It's like shit, you're really, it's not, it's not, if the juice ain't worth the squeeze if you get what I'm saying. Well, hard one, we don't to talk about squeezing Pegasus. Yeah.

Nothing like the real thing is all. And I won't say anything else. Please, please don't. I won't say anything else until the post roll, which of course Pegas Bam has paid for in full. So we will honor that. And yeah, that's about it for me. I guess the one other thing is you want wanna take the trams, they're great.

It's a great way to get around the city. Of course, be careful not to end up in the under dark known as crag water because you will be tortured and tormented and pranked by gnomes. And basically just eaten, unfortunately. Yeah, treacherous little fox. Mm-hmm.

Hard one. What's a must-see in Iron Deep? Oh, you know what? If you find yourself in Iron Deep, you're going to want to tell you what, you're going to want to visit the Bronzebeard Castle. Mm-hmm. See if you can sneak in, go up the back staircase. Second door on the left is Gemma's old room.

If you can get me her hairbrush in a diary, meet me on a corner. This is, don't tell anyone. This is not vacation tips. Her hairbrush? Why are your hairbrush? Well, that one's just for me. You stole this from Fromers.

This is directly from the fromas guide. This information that you're saying to us right now. Yeah, the look who wrote for the fromas guide dictated by hard one short. But yeah, oh, there it is right there. Hard one horse meat. Yeah, it's all of the best places to eat illegal meat in iron. It's surprisingly long list. Harwan, you ever tried goat meat?

You know those goats, those goat men that begged to be killed? You ever tried that meat? Or is it just too desperate for you? It's a little too desperate. I like to kill something. It does do a bit more innocent for you. I see, I see, I see. I'm in half to go to the hard one here.

Desperation does tend to be a bit gamey. Yeah, you can really taste it. What about awakened animals, hard one? An awakened animal is my queen. I could never. Okay. Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah, it's really all or nothing, huh? It's really full on unicorn and Pegasus. That's my good. Good Lord. Guys, let's do one last question. We'll also be answering more questions over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash NADPA, that's NADD, POD, don't sing. What does that have to do with bagging with Ballin' War?

I'm the Patreon, because- I just, let's have Patreon. I think that I picked sort of random letters at the end there, but we are going to be doing an after show called Extra Baggage with Ballin' War, where we will be answering more questions, so check that out. But in the meantime, let's do one last one here.

So Kyle V asks, to moonshine Balnor befruidly in hard one, what kind of characters would you play in a D&D campaign? Huh, I personally, I don't think I would ever try that stuff, seems a little too complicated for me. I'm not really a, you know, I'm more of a beer and a watch the game type guy. I'm not sure.

I'm actually seeing myself getting into it. Yeah, you know, I probably play some type of like, maybe I would play like a little tiny goblin wizard. Yeah, I'd probably play like a human fighter with like big quads and like enormous calves who's like, I guess probably like six, seven or six, eight. I guess maybe around that size. Yeah, that's a little too tall size issue.

Yeah, yeah. It's like normal size probably for a fighter for a human fighter is what I would do. And then like, you know, maybe along the lines, I would maybe I would get reincarnated, I would die and I would just become, I guess maybe like an even taller fighter would probably be what I'd do. It'd become like a Goliath fighter. And then I'd probably just keep dying and then getting reincarnated as taller and taller fighters would be my plan. I feel like I'm getting prank called now.

Is that possible? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hard on what do you think? You know, I would, I'm interested in playing a game like that, but I am getting, I'm spending a little too much time these days getting laid if you know what I'm saying. So, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I mean, taking a couple of trips to the refrigerator. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that bays itself in milk to get it wrong. Interesting. It's amazing. Because that exists in Bohumbia. So, you know, maybe is that not creative enough? Because that already exists in Bohumbia. I haven't heard of milk skeletons. Is it? Well, the thing about skeletons is that their bones are made of milk. So they would need to like replenish the calcium in there.

Yeah. So it makes actually scientific and fantastical sense. Yeah, I think so. And it also exists in Bohumia. Right, well, why are we gonna agree on that? I'm not like the gay master, but if I were, I might say that that was a tad ridiculous, kind of moonshine world breaking in a way.

I'll say right now, if you ever, you know, a Polora and Melora forbid, if you ever fell in battle, Iora and Melora forbid, if you ever fell in battle, I would happily be joined by a skeleton warrior who baves in milk to fight alongside and to save the world in a vinger death. Thank you so much. You know what, if I die,

hold off on revivifying me, let me die and then just bring back my skeleton. And I will make resurrected in a bath of milk and we'll go from there. I will make a beautiful milk coffin and I will I will set your bones in there and let them sit for six months, I believe is the prerequisite time to create a milk barbarian, a dairy barbarian, if you will. A barbarian. A barbarian, if you will. Oh, barbarian. You know what? I said, I said that was gonna be the last question, but then hard one brought

up sex again. So you know what? This will be the last one. E and C asks, Hey, hard one, fellow edger here. Can you get deep on your 34 sexual experiences? You know what? I can, but for that, you're gonna have to tune into my YouTube channel. Check out Hard One's Horse Meat House. It's an unlisted channel, but I'm sure you can find it somehow if you look hard enough, brother. It's very public.

It's actually on the front page of YouTube. I don't know why, but really, there. You share it all the time on all platforms. Oh, okay guys, I think we're gonna wrap up here, but Papa is signaling to me that we have a 2,222nd caller. He's been working hard on the phones. Collar, you are a popular show. Collar, you are on the line.

Oh, oh, oh. Better grace. Yeah, I was here. You good? Are you alive? the line. Penigrees. Penigrees. You good? I was hit by one of those freaking wrecking ball things from what is out of Hugh Jack's qurain and they just hit me with it. Do you need help, Penigrees? Oh, let me bag that. Yeah!

Oh, you said it, Penigrees. That's the phrase. That's Slays that slaves Pendergreens. You are going to Faye Chela. You're gonna be seeing all the hot bands you're gonna be having all the fun. And guess what? You can bring along three of your friends with you. Oh, definitely. Frank can bring along any three people. Probably be moonshine. All right, that's unnecessary. We don't need to do that all right I show I don't need to do that, all right. I show, I don't need to be a tack. I'm like, you're an object, you're an object. All right, all right, you won. We'll be standing at the tickets to hell

that should get there in a couple of years. Guys, we'll all be going to Faye Chela 2023. There's a lot of lawyers outside the studio, by the way, we should probably leave through the back entrance. If we, yeah, that's not about it. Yeah. Moonshine, do you think you can do like a plane shift for us? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Rendus spatched some wizard lawyers who look quite litigious. They have possums. Yeah. I'm sorry. I actually spent every single level of spell awakening all this Pegas Bam. Oh.

What? Maybe we can, maybe we can fly away on the Pegas Bam. Pegas Bam, please lend us your wings. They're medium thick. Well, I wouldn't, they're gonna have, they're gonna have a vendetta against me for sure. I can fly, but I will not carry this man. You know what, maybe we'll all just fly away

and hard one you let us know how it shakes out. Yeah, I'll take my chances with the lawyers frankly. So moonshine Beverly, Bound or in pop off fly away on meat shaped like Pegasus. I just meet flapping in the wind as high Elvin lawyers descend on hard one shorefoot and that's our last session. Oh, I can't wait to see how we get out of this one. Oh, yeah.

Thank you guys so much for listening to our little fun show in the bag with Boundore. We will, we mentioned it during the show, but we will be answering more questions over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD, POD, don't sing. Yeah. I want to sing now. Do you guys have anything you want to plug? Ooh, if I may, Draga is now out on dropout.

So it is a art RPG that I put together with my friends, Nathan Yaffe, Julia Lepetit. And of course, Jacob Andrews, we have a lot of fun guest stars coming on. I believe at least Williams from, at least Williams from Fun House is gonna be on episode two, which I believe is out when this airs.

Go to signup.dropout.tv slash nadpod, I believe is the address, and you can get a free trial. It's a lot of fun if you like nadpod, if you like Dimension 20, I think it'll be a nice addition to your RPG meal set. Right on. And if you need a side dish to that RPG meal set, Emily and I are on Dimension 20, which is also on dropout. So check that out. Jake, what do you got?

Just my, my family business is the beard oil, my mom's cookies. Jake'smomscookies.com, brothercisterco.com. That's a dish. That's a dish. A little, it's not Christmas yet. If you're out of Christmas present, you give somebody, make it some family oil from the Herwoods'. Okay.

Okay. Sweet, guys, follow us on Twitter, at CHMRIF is me, at called these Caldwell adiacs for Dezemily and at Jake Herwoods' Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPA.'s n-e-d-d-p-o-d we are we are you the n-e-d-sh-e-o-we are we are we are so far you the n-e-d-sh-e-o-we are so far

it's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Oh, y'all so good to us. Starting with Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steelbreaker and Spencer Caskbrew, 5, sentient, Roger Rapid style bullets that old Cobb found in Iron Deep when fired, they razz Cobb's opponents before striking them. The tips of these bullets may be hollow, but their quips are anything but. Next up we have Beardman, Dan, Adam R, Danielle, the Dasterdly, Dame, Aulukard, and Michelle O. The members of the legendary Jazz Outfit, the Big Ezri.

Stunkbug is banned from their concerts because he keeps getting into fights with other fans over which press instrument is the best. Howdor Frostback, Multifor, Jordan DJ, Jeffreas and Cutter W, a group of turtle-shelled lizard folk known as Slow-Bolds. They were supposed to help their cobalt cousins resurrect the dragon in Moonstone, but just got to the sunken keep last week. Shubbert the mushroom, Alaina C, Mixologist Michael Mc McD, Andrew M. and Balnor's boy. 5. Lifeguards in the new Congressional Water Park. They resigned in shame after a turd was found floating in the wavepool.

Some conspiracy theorists think he was actually a minor illusion hoax placed there by those loyal to the banished high-elevant king. But thus far, no concrete proof has presented itself. Justin I, Jacob C, Alaina M, Mick Pux, and Jostritch, the holiday elementals in the realm of eternal cheer, these five being served as the guardians of the sacred flavors, peppermint, cocoa, pumpkin, gingerbread, and nutmeg. Together they formed the holy seasoning known as allspice. Damien R, Destin C, Devon B, Jive G, and Earl and Kathleen L, a group of iron dwarfs who defected from Frostwind

and are now all living together in an apartment in Galator on what wacky antics will the frost friends get up to this week tune in to find out. Sergio Salazar Salaman, Sakarias, Day Sakwani, Michael L, Sam H, Trailey the Kray Faye, and Jury S. 5, ex-members of the Goblin Airship Guild of the Autumn Court. They were recently kicked out of the guild after submitting a radical engineering proposal

entitled What If The Ships Didn't Explode Truly Disgraceful. Adam H. Ryan, Aaron G. Jake L. and Zach C, the esteemed team that created Pegas Bam. They experimented with a lot of magical creatures, unicorn, sphenic, sys, mermaids, but none quite had the same magical kick. Pegas Bam, it gives you wings. Big Buck, Richard X Machina, Sam L, Tremix C, and Gage M, the doctors and nurses who work at a hospital in the Feywild known as Fey's Anatomy. They solve all sorts of Fey injuries and ailments, curses gone wrong, and people that have

been literally squashed by giants, but they also all sleep together. Damm R. Josh S. Nicholas C. Austin C. and Kristen P. The Maghags, a group of Boundlor groupies who love bagging it with Bounder, and only occasionally cast Evil Witch Magic. Mike A. H. Matthew E. Samuel B. Tilford G. And O'Cotta, the beer barriens, a group of drinking buddies that have commoner stats by day, but half-work barbarian stats when they drink together. A. R. C. Bohumia's fiercest L. N. D. T. J. M. The gnome barbarian and, dressed, the traveler,

four centars who have a monthly dinner club. They have to book super far ahead of time though because they each need two seats and you can't just show up with no reservation and ask for a table for eight. Anime intellect, zolo dolo, lyrissa jay, dillancym, the wannabe dm, the warriors tasked by pullor himself to defend the sacred pegassai, currently in huge trouble because they were watching a youtube video instead of the pegassai when they got captured and made into spam. Colton B, J, C, C, Lulu, and Aiden are H, the Pegasai who fell to make Hardwands Pegas spam, RIP, Rest in Pegasus.

Tragic, I'm hopeless, Timmy R, Alex M, Aaron, Sully, and Eric G, the creators of Impossagus, a company dedicated to creating ethical Pegasus meat with all the great taste and none of the guilt, y'all are doing great work and saving lives, including hard ones who will inevitably go to jail if he doesn't start selling your product instead. Lucas B, Rubin A, Jordan L, Taleth X, and Mateo C, the monster trucker drivers who hit Pender Greens with a wrecking bomb and left him for dead. They opted not to steal the Hellfire crown while he was out, but did steal his chain wallet, which Pender Greens is going to flip out about a Suicy notices. Austin MR, just a pissed off Triss A.K.A. Touchit, Kaley Elise, and Barnes

inator, a rival crew of Black Market Meat sellers who listen to the podcast in hopes of getting Hard One's location so they can jump him and steal his unicorn jerky. Careful guys, Hard One might be stupid but he's level 14. Devin W. Shenoo Abbey, Jared E. and Persephone, the most famous podcasters in all of Galator on and the hosts of Pod Save Bohumia. Theala is trying to guess but they suspect it's just so she can get their location, hunt them down and destroy them so they're just gonna hold off from now.

Reese and S, Eric and Andrea B, Charo, Arcadius and Jay Parker, the first collars after the Dorfans who also didn't know the phrase that Slay is Papa tried his best to help them off Mike, but the best they could come up with is I want to put a bag on that, which doesn't really make sense. Pay attention gang! Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K. Omery M. and Callum L. Members of the Grateful Undead. The all-litch cover band headlining Faye Chela. You might ask why is a cover band headlining a major music festival? They don't know the answer, and they're super nervous. Scott D. Noether, the prodigy ranger, Shane B. The pinch, and then the brave warriors

who swooped into Savile Cobb after the band of boobs' prank call nearly got him killed. They have since confiscated his speaking stone and forbade him from keeping it light. Richard C. Karen T. Curtis S. Michael C. and B.J.L. The bagginette freelance production crew. Interestingly enough, they all quit and mass as a sign of protest against the ads hard one was selling. For now, all of the technical aspects of the show have fallen to papa. Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Barris and Ken of the Wizards towered Nicholas P. and Robert F. A crew of barbarians who attempted to murder Ryan the Ram. Thankfully Ryan used his horns and gored them all.

Ryan remains safe and alive as hell to this day. Kevin M. Angel B. Raul N. I am the Atlas and Ryan of Clan Cougan. Goblin engineers who have pipped the SS Stormborn. It now has a solo cup built into every bed and a crick water tap next to the steering wheel. Dangerous! Mary Bell, the Kitty Morphing gnome, Esme Am, Robert Yens, Christian T and Joe McGee, a team of bullywug orthodontists who have a profitable practice in Galatoron. In fact, this is the very team

that installed Bev's braces. No wonder he has that winning smile and impressive set of family values. Meta Amps, Mr. Hydro's, Adakissi, Tom S. End, Kazamir, they all know, Rins, bankers. They have actually been systematically funneling small

increments of his money into an unsure bank account. He should be fully blood-dried by crickmas. God's video heroes. Luke H. Jonathan from Crickfield, Kelvin Noodles, Grace G. and Nathaniel P. The Pit Crew of a ginormous monster truck, school bus, and the first layer of hell. This is the rig that put pentagreens in a coma

and he couldn't be prouder of them, and that's all for this week folks. Thank you so much to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course, all of our... All of our Council of Elders will be back next week with another episode. In the meantime, you can head on over to patreon.com slash nadpot

to listen to our after show. We'll catch you guys next time. Goodbye, my sweetest of sweeties. That was a hit gun podcast. com slash nad pod. Till listen to our after show. We'll catch you guys next time. Goodbye my sweetest of sweeties.

That was a hate gun podcast.