Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 12: Go! Go! Team Tection (The Mothership Saga)

Episode Date: June 3, 2022

Duck Team and Beatrix battle Go! Go! Team Tection. Calder locks horns, Sol needs moisturizer, and Callie tries a hacking smite. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Engine Room" by Zimbot at Freesound.org."Scary Ambience" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org. "A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Mothership" by Emily Axford."Mothership Lobby" by Emily Axford."Hexbuds" by Emily Axford. "Gunvar" by Emily Axford. "The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

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so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P A W-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in Welcome back to Bahumya everybody. Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! Bahumya! And I have it flocked. He's so proud of it. I never will. And he's proud in that. The worst combination. And then of course, Emily Axford. Making away as Glenifer Sky Days. Calloyope Petra-Core.

Yeah. Eris. That's some of the menus coming up. It could be an Eris. And then finally, we've got Carl Doltaner. Ooh, a near dead bloke who's about to croak. It's potato. Skinderson.

No, but potato. So is gonna die. Let's not bury the. You know, where is they get the more I love it? Yeah. I didn't realize we were doing our fake name. Saul Bufoak was gonna sound a lot better. Oh, yep, that's also, doesn't rhyme.

Quick announcement before, you know what, we're gonna do a pre-show plug. Guys, we've got live shows our biggest one ever coming up June 17th in Los Angeles, that is our home base. So you know there's gonna be a special guest or two. We shall see. In the wing.

Two, two be announced. And then we have the night before in Portland, June 16th is also gonna be our biggest show ever. Yeah. It's right. Also gonna be. Ever show. We like to top ourselves constantly.

Never go back. We have to go back. We're pretty special guests in Portland. Yeah, keep climbing. We got a lot of friends in Portland. And by that, I mean you. You're going to be their listener with your friends and your cousins.

And you're seeing you there. Yeah, bring all every cousin you have. Well. Anyway, guys, let's get into the show. Let's go ahead and do a little recap. Yes. So last time you all snuck through the mothership air yacht hitching a ride on a commuter tram.

There, you battled security drones, dodged lasers, and witnessed some steamy affairs. Afterwards, you snuck up a long stairwell, sneaking by security bots, but eventually stumbled on an open office. There, you found dioramas, a prospective expansion yachts all across Bahumia, one of them hovering directly over Calder's village in the Frijid North. More determined than ever to stop Mother Ship, you headed deeper into the yacht and found the secret S-class laboratory full of dead knights from the recent slaughter. There you met Beatrix and had a tense standoff before successfully convincing

her that you weren't with mothership. However, she did react strongly when Glenn's name was brought up. We're not with him either. We're with Glenifer. I have believe it came up. First time ever really, what Glen's been brought up once or twice maybe, but she seems to have had an even worse time with Glenn than Klyope. Her order, the order of the Ruby scale, had provided shelter for his group, the order of the Emerald scale, only to be betrayed, resulting in the death of Beatrix's dragon, LavaRix and her comrades. She joined the mother ship to get revenge against the other dragon elves, only to be betrayed once more, with the S-Class brainwashing and subsequent slaughter. Now on a one woman quest for revenge, Beatrix once again dawned the red mask of her order and set out to invade the area.

You guys were able to get through to her and she agreed to help you locate Alexandra ite's core to stop the S-Class program for good. Before you could leave though, you were interrupted by our old friends, StarDunk, Jazzler, and Todd. First, from nearby test tubes, StarDunk and Jazzler looked nervous, but a projection of patina sent them into sleeper agent mode with the phrase your objective is to secure the mothership Which prompted the trio to go wide-eyed and awoke all the bodies in the nearby tubes and that's where we are now Just star-dunk and jasler looked nervous. Just well Todd also looks to be Taken over by the sleeper agent thing,

but he was cool with the weird lab to begin with. Todd has no qualms. Todd has no qualms. Got it. I think this is fine. He's qualmless. He's so free, it's attractive. You hear the shattering of nearby test tubes

and a cacophony of groans as the S-classes spring to life. They are like grabbing at you from nearby tubes and standing in perfect formation, star-dunk and jazzler point up at Todd who spins his ax. Go, go, team Texan! Tecton serve! We have the power of friendship and zombies on our side.

What? Damn, we need a call and response thing. Okay, we're working on that as soon as this is over. We have the power of friendship and zombies on our side Damn we need a call and response thing okay, we're working on that as soon as this is over We need just a fraction of their confidence honestly. Yeah, we've got team duck. We fucking suck. Yeah, go go team duck We fucking suck Beatrix looks at you guys unblinkingly just goes. Did you just say that you suck? Yeah? It's a kind of our thing's like a punk rock thing. All right, yeah, we say it so they can't say it. Yeah, exactly. When we say we suck, we all breathe in, we go ahead and roll initiative. Okay.

Okay. I got a 10, a 12. Colliope's in heaven with seven. Oh, no. Oh, seven, a 10. Seven. Yeah, Colliope's from a big religious family. Oh my God.

How has this never come up? That was seven, seven, that was never come up I think it's because there's seven of them right? I don't know that they're super No, he's not the death of the duster. Yeah, they're priest at initiative 25 You guys see Beatrix turns to you guys and goes if you can handle Todd I'll defeat the twins and blow up the lab Yeah, that sounds grace honestly talks the one that I'm most worried about. Bum deal for you, but yeah, let's do it. Everyone versus Todd, love it. If you need a potion, they're in the duck.

Can I unhinges, John, open them up like an ice chest? Wow. You see the frost from icy cool potions inside of him coming off? Oh, did you have that, Calda? You see, she holds a torch in front of her and breathes in, then unleashes an explosive flame thrower breath. Cool, you're doing the breathing thing.

Yeah, that's exactly right. Duck team fucking sucks. And breathes fire out. It sounded like you meant it. I know, I'm going to say it kind of hurts for me for some reason. I meant to ask, like, I thought that was, we were all on the same time. I love it. you meant it. I know I'm gonna say it kinda hurts, but I mean, for some reason. I meant it as like, I thought that was, we were all on the same time, okay. I love it.

Ah! You see, a jasler and star-dunk go to shield themselves with their crackling blue plate as Todd rolls out of the way towards you guys. You see the fire roasts a bunch of nearby zombies and very quickly a fire catches as a series of small Explosions start to go up You immediately start to like your vision gets a little hazy from all the fumes and gas

You hear like pipes bursting at things like that. She gives you a thumbs up Yeah, I give her a cool thumbs up It's fucking unhinged and all this. Absolutely. How about we add a little lightning to the mix, huh? Guys, this is a level of messy. We can only aspire to. Beatrix runs in and engages a star dunk and jazzler.

Twin style. You see, jazzler and star dunk do a pose. And then start fighting Beatrix. They're moving lightning quick throughout the lab. They seem to be kind of evenly matched and then Todd rolls over to you guys. You see this giant moose man is somehow able to pop his pecs through the plate. So huge and jacked. Did you have your plate specially made

so you could still pop? I did. It needs to be form-fitting, nice and sleek. And you see he starts to move around and you could still see his perfect body under it. You see his axe. He holds it out and he kind of pulls it apart. It's like this magic weapon.

And it looks kind of more like a polar arm, almost like a halberd. And he begins kind of spinning it back and forth, almost like a bow staff, like lightning fast takes an attack position. As you guys go to engage him, this fire all around you in the lab. But nobody acts first. What happens first is that initiative 20, there is a layer action. Oh, you see zombies burst out from nearby tubes. A lot of them have like metal casing over the glass, so it's not easy for them to get out. They're pulling themselves out through these like circular viewing windows

and scraping up against the glass just like forcing their bodies through. So they're attempting to like grab you and pull you back to like grapple you. Everybody give me a strength saving throws as you try to fight them off You don't want to go in the tube get in the tube. Oh, man, I might have to you boobs need to get in the tube Points at the tube you hear the air swiping as he points towards the tube. Okay guys You got to wait until he poses. That's when you need to strike. Yes.

Wide open under his armpit as he poses. That's a 12 foot Kaliope. 12 is a fail. You see Kaliope is grabbed and pulled back by zombies behind her. They're going to take a bite attack as one like gets an arm and his head out and tries to bite into her.

That's only a 14 to hit. So you are grappled, so you're at zero speed right now, but you're wrestling this thing away. You've got like your hand on its face. I also failed, I got an 11. Jeez, okay, Calder, you get grabbed, pulled back. They're gonna try to take a bite on you. Jesus Christ in that 20.

Oh no. Oh wait, if he's in the tube next to me though, can I protect him, paladin? Ah, I will allow that. I'll say you guys were like next to each other. I said, advantage. So, Cali, yeah, you're pulled back as you're wrestling with this dude, you pull up the umbrella and you extend it.

I have zero speed, but I've still got an umbrella. You still got an umbrella? I'm telling you, extended out in this zombie's face, Nat 4, you stop the Nat 20, you get right in this zombie's face as it's about to bite colder But you are still Trapped for the time being thank you for preparing for the weather Kelly Saw what you get an interesting seat. It was looking like rain. I got a 16 16 you roll out of the way you are not wrapped guys

I'm using up all my moisture. It's very hot in here And then at initiative 12 saw you are first believe it or not It looks like Todd has been spending way too much time posing you just hear constant wind sounds Crescent x formation I'm happy breathe in he's got plates on his butt too and they're equally jiggly Ever would stay clear of his ass see how I don't know what went back there I'm not going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be bonus content, I think on Albeir Cave, somebody pitched a cool rule that I like, which is that if you drink a potion as an action, I'll say you get the full HP for it, you don't have to roll. If you do a bonus action, then you have to roll.

Oh, that's great. So it's almost like you're taking your time, you're taking, it's like a magical concoction, you're almost casting a full spell on yourself instead of a really quick one. Drake every time. So you're pouring yourself a nice cocktail. You're pouring yourself a nice cocktail.

But that's up to you. You might decide it's not worth it to get five extra HP and not get to attack. I think this is actually great because I can attack with a bonus action. So what I'm gonna do is I'm going to just act like I'm in a potion commercial and I'm gonna take Foster and I'm gonna shake him like he's a cocktail shaker

and then just kick back a potion right in front of Todd toss Foster out of the way and then slam into the ground with my gauntlet activating it and causing force damage to Todd. Oh sick. You pound into the ground as Todd poses. He's gonna go ahead and do a dexterity saving throw. As I see this whole show, I go to Calderon. I'm like, I don't even need a potion, but I'm like kind of craven a potion now.

Yeah. I think that was a good avatizing. I like, was it thirst? Solve of Phoses, suck one of these. I wasn't thirsty when he started, but I'm part now. Yeah. And as I say that, I catch the duck. Todd does fail the dexterity saving throw.

You see, as you punch into the ground, and there's this astral force coming out, Todd takes way too long going, get you on the flip side, reaches down, but by the time he does his flip, he's already taken the damage, so go ahead and do your damage. As I do the damage, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, potion if that's okay with everyone. It's all yours. That's gonna be 24 points of healing. That's great for me. It's sick.

It's commercial is working. You've just done this four-stammered tatad, kind of anime style. You see the ground moves as he slides back. Pretty good, but didn't even make a scratch. Woo, woo, woo, woo. I mean, there's a crack down your butt. That was always there.

It covers his butt. Does everyone have that? Looks around can't tell because everyone has armor on I lean into it. You have a crack in your butt How was it guys? How else you got shit? How many how many butt cheeks do you have? What yeah, yeah, Yeah, one big cheek. No. The fact that cheeks are usually plural is weird. You're lying too. Soapful's down his pants to show that he's got no ass. Impossible.

After Saul, that's Calder's turn. Hell yeah. Let's see if we can extend that ass crack a little bit. So Calder, you are to rapils at the moment. Oh, I say that line anyway. Two of bunches of zombies. All right, I'm going to use ice knife. So while I'm surrounded by zombies,

I am just gonna inhale really quickly, and then exhale, ice particles in Todd's direction. Sweet, he tries to make another deck save. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, get you on the flip side. Yes, he tries to flip out of the way. That's another natural three, flips after me, hit with the knife. I feel like he's out of touch with his own stats.

I think it might be harder for you to flip since you're dealing with two asses. No, I have the regular amount of asses. Ooh, that's good. And then 2d6, that's 17 damage from nice. Nice, nice. Sick, yeah, you see a knife lodges up right into his shoulder. Ah!

As he does another flip, classic sucking chuck. Great work, Calder. We suck, we chuck. Fuck you. And chuck, fuck you. And he never fucks. That's Dr. Virgin for you. That's me. After Calder's turn, Calder, you are free from this zombie.

So you do break free at the end of your turn. So you essentially like wrestle this knife out, throw it into Todd, shards explode out and hit him, and you escape from the zombie at initiative 10 tied with Calder though. You guys are going to potentially take fire damage. It's a plus six to hit on the first round. It's just one attack against everyone.

You guys try to dodge out of the way as flames lick at you. First one will go after Saul. That's a 10 to hit, misses, Saul. Misses. Dojging out of the way, not a lot of lick at you. First one will go after Saul. That's a tend to hit misses. Saul misses dodging out of the way. Not a lot of fire around you. Cullder, you go to move out of the way. I'll say fire consumes the zombie that was grabbing onto you as you roll forward.

Yeah, take that. You had nothing to do with that. Whoo! Points. I do fire all the time. Ha! Ha! That's only a 13 to do with that. Points. I do fire all the time. That's only a 13 to hit misses you. This Cali fires gonna go after you.

13 misses. Got him rolling for shit. Yeah. Good job. Yeah, Cali, their fire starts to like come out near you and you literally kick your feet up while you're wrestling with this guy. He's got you like backpacked and you put your feet up on a nearby thing and get out of the way.

I feel like Callie's becoming a pro wrestler. Yeah. Do you want a singlet? I'd love one. After the fire at the initiative 7, that's Kalipe. So you're still grappled? So I would have to use an action to get un-grappled. Some kind of shove attack, something to get you out of. Then I think I'm just gonna try a first level command on Todd

and say, Gravel. Oh, oh, I see. And then the target falls if he gets a wisdom save. Okay. Or on his next turn, he follows the, it's not ideal because I come after him in it, but on his next turn he follows the, it's not ideal because I come after him in it, but on his next turn he follows the thing which gravel the target falls prone and then ends its turn. Shit. Okay, he will go ahead and do it. Apologize for your weird ass. We're visiting Saving Caraville. Gravel.

Prostrate, thai cell. Prostrate. Prostrate, thyself. Prostrate. Prostrate, that prostate. 18. That passes. Passes. All right. There's all I could do in this position.

Damn. What could have been poses and covers his ass. I'm not hiding anything. That is unfortunately Todd's turn. So Todd has our boys all right up in his face. So he's gonna go ahead and swing his pullarm around. Quack, quack, quack, with Mill trip. And he's gonna make an attack on you.

You see he uses it like a bow staff and tries to swing your legs out from under you. That's only a 16 to hit. Misses, Saul, you jump out of the way, you backflip. Impossible. Huck, dodge this. Crescent Swipe. And he's going to stop announcing things. Swing with the axe. Axe side of it. Yeah, you're really seething an advantage to your opponents. Axe side of it. I'm rolling like shit., is a 16 to hit, Mrs. Again. You duck that time and get out of the way. Tad, gawr!

And you're just gonna try to ram you with his fucking head on the last attack. That one is a fucking nat 20. Oh, that's a bad one. That's all says, what does gawr mean in this context? Tad leans down, rushes at you, picks you up with his antlers and slams you into a nearby wall with a crit that is 25 damage off the bat. And then we're gonna roll a D6 to see what his Gour does as he very haphazardly just like shatters into something.

Okay. Actually, I saw, go ahead and roll me a D6. Oh. I'll tell you a six is actually good. Oh, great. I'll just get a six then. Yeah, perfect. Well, I got a four, so I'm sure that's pretty good too.

On a four, Todd, gore's you into nearby test two, but shattering it and cutting your back with glass for an additional 1-D8 damage. So I'll roll the 1-D8. Oh, no. That's only 2. 2-D8. Yes!

Yes! Todd, goers you into this glass. It shatters. You feel it cut into your back. But you stay up. You feel him forcing you into the tube, stay done. Next time, try not announcing what you're doing.

And I kiss him. Whoa, whoa, whoa, impossible. After Todd, that is back up to the top of the round at Initiative 20. That is another layer action. From deeper in the lab, you guys just hear chaos all around you. You see StarDunk and Jazzler are going back and forth with Beatrix, twin tornadoes spinning around doing all these anime moves. As you guys see from deeper in the lab, a giant zombie is on fire and just flailing around,

half trying to attack people and half just maintaining their instincts and trying to put themselves out. You see, its monestone is glowing and it looks like it's making itself grow to try to protect itself, but it's lost control of its magic. As the fire overwhelms it, it takes swings at each one of you as it's sort of like tornadoes by that scary

Oh, no, thanks first attack on Saul that one's a 23 to hit that does hit that's nine damage on Saul Yep Saul is down, okay, you see this zombie a swipes at Saul just as he's recovering from his fight with Todd Then it is going to swing at Calder. Oh boy. That is only a 15 hit Calder misses. That'll miss. And then that is a 23 to hits, Cali.

It misses. No, it's amazing. Just a little AC humor. That is 10 damage on Cali. You see this thing keeps moving through the lab, starts just breaking stuff, trying to pull like liquid from a nearby tank to put its own.

I mean, does it take a swing on Todd, as well? No, because it's on Todd's side. Remember, we said we have the power of friendship and zombies on our side. They did explicitly state that. They're very good at telling us what's happening. You're right. Points at it.

That guy's on fire. After the lair action, that is Saul's turn. Saul, I'm going to need you to make a death saving throw. You guys see Saul greatly injured near this broken glass tube. Todd stands over him and turns and faces called her in Cali. Quick point of clarification, Murf.

Can I use a bardic on a death save? I see no reason not to, even if that's not allowed, I'm gonna allow it. Oh, thank you. Hopefully I won't need to. Let's roll the dice. If Todd can use the power of friendship, so can you. Yeah.

I'm gonna use the power of friendship, because I roll a three. There's no way it's D6, yeah. I'll hold onto that bardic for next time, but that's one death fail. Oh, please. You see, the glass seemed like it didn't do as much damage at first,

but it is causing Sal to bleed out. He's got like a pretty bad wound here. After Sal's turn, that is Calder's turn. All right, I am going to ice skate over to Saul. I have already caught Foster. The duck is under my arm. I'm out open his mouth like a pez dispenser and deliver a frozen potion to my boy. Sweet. As you pour the potion into Saul's mouth, Todd looks you and goes, wait, you have the power of friendship as well. Yeah, and I only have what asks. And I'm going to action surge for ask.

Action surge. Show him your whole ass. Sick. You still have your action, so you can just do for attacks. Oh, wow. Yeah, because it's only a bonus action surge. Which is the potion. All right, perfect. So I will action surge. I'll take do four attacks. Oh wow, yeah, it's only a bonus action. Which is the potion. All right, perfect.

So I will action surge. I'll take my four attacks. Sick. Yeah, you see, Saul has gone down. You with a fury, a sprint at Todd. Todd kind of smirks, holds up his pole arm as you go toe to toe with him. Does a 17 hit?

17 does not hit. You would hit the side of his crackling legs. Neither will the 16. 16 misses. That is an 18 hit. 18 hits. Great. 13 damage.

And only another 17 to hit. Seven, last one misses. Ouch. One at a four. Not bad. You might actually be C class. Wh-wh-wh- woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, I do suck. Don't listen to this too cheaker.

Double ass, it's normal. It's normal stuff guys. After Calder's turn, that is the fire. The fire has upped one time. So the fire is gonna get two attacks on everybody this time. So we'll go ahead and go against Saul first. Only a 15 hit Saul, Saul gets out of the way, rolls out of the way of like a fire piece of debris that comes down.

Next bit of fire is that caulder, that one's an 18 hit you caulder. I'll shield. Shield, nice. Sweet, you're good for the round. A shield goes Okay, sweet. You're good for the round. A shield goes up, extinguishes that part of the fire. Frozen wall. Next one goes at Cali. Cali that is going to hit you.

That's a 22 to hit. Yeah. Okay, just two damage, but actually it does get two attacks on everybody. So, Sol again, 19 to hit you that time, Sol. That's my AC. Okay, three damage. Okay, cool. Oh boy. Just mix me. Cali, 11 hit misses, and Cal Okay, three damage. Okay, cool. Oh boy, just mix me.

Kali, 11 hit misses and Calder, 16 hit misses. Yeah. Okay, after the fire, that is Kali piece turn. Okay, thank you for using my full name. We may be enemies, but we can still respect each other. What's your full name? Tottafa? Okay.

Can I look at the spell jammer? Uh-oh. I think that, okay, here's what I'm thinking is like, if I can see his monastone, and I saw that other guy and his monastone was freaking out, could I hit his monastone with this spell jammer and try and like take away his magic or something like that? Wow.

I think I'm thinking of what's the thing that puts the virus in Alexandra. That's a modified memory spell, but I will say as you bring up that idea, I'll say you're kind of asking that to like Maagablan. Under and in, I've had inspiration. Talking to my infected ear. Under and in, over and out.

Yes, if you can get the jamber close to Todd, I can see what I can do on my end. Can I also use it like a weapon and smite through it? Yeah, it looks like a wand essentially. It's got like a gem on the end of it. A wand here. So here is what I will say. Yeah. Your Paladin Smites are basically reflavered.

Like arcane smites. Mother ship arcane smites. That's how it's working in this world. Yeah. Magoblin will effectively do like a hacking role as you hit him with this thing. Instead of doing damage, it will do a status effect on him, but the smite will do damage. So you won't do weapon damage, you'll just do smite damage. It's almost like you're holding a wand out and doing an arcane blast slash, like trying to fuck with his monestone.

Are you doing a hacking smite? A hacking smite, essentially. A hacking smite. Okay, oh, I really wanna hit, okay. Kalo, I'll peek it together. I look him straight dead in the eye, and I'm fucking ready. Wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh.

Does A, I think that's good, does a 19 hit. 19 does hit. and I'm fucking ready. Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh- around that. So you see this glowing gem as he puts his gauntlets in front of his face to like block you and you just go straight for the monestone. So you go to hit it, go ahead and do your smite damage and then we'll do a roll for Magoglund to see what she can do to him. Doing a third level smite, hacking smite from arcane to hacking. But those fingerless gloves, the good use. 23 damage. 23 damage. Sick. Yeah, you hold this jammer out. He goes to guard it as if it's like a rod.

Like that's your like melee weapon. But then there's this burst of arcane energy. He leans back. Go ahead and give me a roll for Maagablan. Give me a D20. Nice. This is so cool. 11 on the dice.

Okay, so you see that as you connect with Todd's monestone, you see it looks like it's short-circating or something, you see like lightning all around it. Ma Goblin is essentially going to use your connection to him in conjunction with the summoning scroll you gave her a while back. She's going to be able to do targeted banishments on his weapon.

Great. This will effectively give him like disadvantage on specific attacks. 11 is like a middling success. So on the next two attacks he makes, he'll do it with disadvantage. Effectively like he starts to get banished and his like acts and his arm start to like disappear

and like fade out and become like translucent as they go through you. Oh, hell yeah. So she's like half banishing him. Hacking smile. Hacking. And then can I close the distance so I can get near Saul, give him another potion,

do a little tummy smack on Foster to spit up another potion and to Saul, a subbonus action, and also get within five feet of Saul. Are you sure that we shouldn't conserve this? Wut! I'm sure. Ooh, I rolled a four? I rolled two fours for you, babe!

No, sick! Okay. That's the refreshing taste of Bufolacola right there. So that's 12. That's 12, right? Yeah. 12 fucks-feeling? Oh my gosh, thank you so much, Callie.

So that puts us at one healing potion left, I believe. Unfortunately. Saul, you're looking incredible. I know, we only have one left. I really feel like we need to keep you. Yeah, yeah, we're trying to conserve you, not the healing potions. Yeah, yeah.

Kali, as you do this hacking smite and then reach down and fill up Saul with this potion, Saul bounces back up, you see that as Todd's turn, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, moves the staff around. I don't know what you've got planned, but I don't like the way you use your power of friendship. He's gonna go ahead and try to do a tripping attack against you. You see, as he swings his pole arm at you, Cali, from the back trying to like hook your leg, you do see his weapon is fading in and out, as if it's being called to like,

Magoplin's ship. You like Mog Oblins ship. You'll get in a bit glitchy. So he's gonna roll with disadvantage. Okay. That's a natural three, Mrs. you feel as you see it starts to connect like you guys are looking and you see it. I hopped it like hopscotch.

It goes right through Cali. What is this? Are you some kind of projection? Impossible. That hit was dead on? Yeah, I'm a projection of your deepest desires. I also kiss him He is going to swing back around and take an axe attack on you Cali This time also with disadvantage all right all right natural for on the lower one misses

Yes, wings right through you. Dammit, damn this axe. Swings it, catches it between his butt cheeks. That's just the one cheek. Leans his head down. How are you doing that? Leans his head down. Todd Gore.

And is going for a Gore attack against Callie. And Callie, watch out. This one he makes flat. That one is a 21 to against Callie. And Callie, watch out. This one, he makes flat. That one is a 21 to hit. Okay, first we'll do the damage and then we'll do a D6 to see what kind of wreckage Todd does. So you see, he does not provoke any opportunity attacks. This is part of his move.

Picks up Callie with his antlers and goes and slams her into some nearby machinery. Only nine damage on the gore didn't roll. Great, but go ahead and roll me a D6. Two. Two. Callie. As Todd slams you into the wall, his horn breaks a nearby pressurized pipe sending steam

shooting out at you. Go ahead and give me a con saving throw. Seven. That's a fail. Calli, you are blinded by the steam until the end of your next turn. Okay. After Todd, that is back up to the layer action. At an initiative 20, the zombies that originally burst through the glass viewing windows have torn their bodies to shreds.

They've essentially just pulled themselves out of the holes. They launch themselves out in an attempt to like backpack themselves onto you. Everyone go ahead and give me deck saving throws. Is this a grappling check? Yeah, they're trying to grab you. Awesome. I get to roll those with advantage. Cool. All right. 17. Okay. You pass. All right. I rolled a two and a three okay shout out respectively. I 14 14 14 actually passes So Cali

You don't have to see you feel the sky like going to grab it you and latch on and you grab his wrist and just throw him off you Calder you're able to dodge him entirely but saw you feel Grabs onto your back. I don't have any moisture in my body. Good job, partner! CAH! And this zombie is going to make a bite attack on you, Saul. And is continuing to hang on.

No, my skin's so dry, don't bite me! It's so brittle! Only does four damage, but does hit. Okay. After the layer action, Saul, that is your turn. So, can I repeat the throw to get away from the zombie? You have to do a shove attack. You have to like get you have to get him to move some footage. But you have multiple attacks though right? Yeah, sure.

You could use one shove attack and then attack. I need to reactivate my gauntlets because I died for a second. So I'm just gonna go ahead and try and lift up both of my hands. Activate my gauntlets and clap this zombie to try and just blast them with energy. Okay, so that'll be a DC 15 deck save for the zombie. Oh, sweet. Zombie does not have good decks. You blow this thing right off. Yeah, you smack your hands up. You see a big chunk of this thing,

shoulder bursts as the arcane gauntlets come up and falls off of you. Great. And then I am going to realizing my position as a guy with not much HP, I'm going to run at Todd, punch him a bunch, and then continue running with my full movement to try and get behind something where Todd can't see me. Okay. I'm going to do drive-by punching.

So great. Oh man, I think you was grossed out by your asses. I just go, ah! I put my hands in the air like Kermit the Frog, waving my gauntlets, just absolutely punch the shit out of them and then continue running towards the biggest piece of machinery I can find. Impossible, I don't recognize this form.

I'll take my first attack, great. It's a natural one. Yikes. I certainly do not get to reroll that sadly. I don't understand this form. I'll take my first attack. Great. It's a natural one. Yikes. I certainly do not get to reroll that sadly. I don't understand that it's formed, but it looks like shit. You're just jealous of our friendship. Okay, so that's going to be a 19 to hit. 19 hits.

See, six damage right there. I think that's all I can do this turn to use my bonus action. So, yeah, I will continue using my movement to get out of range of Todd. Great. So you kind of start running in the opposite direction. I'll say you get a half cover. You get plus two AC as you like round a corner. Great. After Saul's turn, that's a call to turn. All right, cool. I can still see Saul so I won't get him. Did you just wink at someone? Turns wait there is no Shit I'll take my two attacks. That is a 24

Oh, that gets as he turns and points at Saul you just see a big meaty haunch like that muscle That connects like your ribs and your shoulder Your armpit muscle. Yeah, I guess like a lat. Like just a beefy lat, like the wings. Dude, how many lats do you have? Just the regular amount. What's the regular to you?

Let's say one, two, three. I don't know. Why? I don't know. How many hordes do you have? Not enough. That's the answer. I put on my antler, helm.

Oh, your helm? Oh, you guys go helm the helm. Oh my god, lock horns! Yes! Oh my call to gore! That's a 25 on my second attack. I put it on my second attack. I put it on my 15 plus 13.

28 damage. Sick! You lock horns with him. You put on your helm you ram into him He sort of pushes back. He had been concentrating on Cali. You swipe into him twice You see he starts to bleed From under his armor and start clutches his chest. Oh, yeah, if you were expecting a kiss That's not how Doug divergent does things

I know your real name, Coulter. Shit. You guys run. Play it cool, Coulter. And you see he does a little sly smile, and he goes, I'm sure you've seen it.

Sneaky around here, but soon, Mother Ship will reach the frigid North. And your family can wave to me from below while I stand atop the deck Never not the frigid north after call der sern that is the fire attacks It is up to once again But I will say you guys see that a lot at this point a lot of the accelerants and a lot of the explosions and stuff have kind of already Happened the fire's gotten about as bad as it's gonna get

because there are like sprinklers going off at this point and it looks like three attacks is about what the fire's gonna end up at. So you see that the sprinklers are starting to like, are starting to like calm things down. There are some things that are smoldering but they're still fire all around you. So three attacks on everyone.

We'll go after Calder first. Right. 18 on the highest one. That is my AC. OK. Six damage, Calder. All right. Saul, three misses.

Great. And then Cali, 21 on the highest one, 17 on the second highest one. 17 misses. 17 misses, OK. Three damage, Cal three damage Cali Cali after the fire that is your turn. Okay, so I'm blinded I guess I just attack with disadvantage great with the I take out the spell jamma and I just really indiscriminately I said called a get out of the way whoa whoa

And that is an at one that one of course. That one. Okay. Oh, you hit me in the face with the camera. You pierced his other ear. Shit. But since Todd is no longer engaged with me, can I use my movement to take some cover as well? Yeah. Okay.

I'll say you use your movement kind of- Just from Todd. Got it. Just from Todd. So, literally, Calder and Todd are locking horns. So after Cali's turn, Cali, like a nature documentary. You're able to get your wits back about you. My vision, my vision comes back and I just see Calder's red face where I hit him with a spell jammer. Just a perfect imprint of the sculpture. That really hurts. Todd's really hurt and you, isn't he?

That was you. You clocked me. Calder, you're just so honest. You see on Todd's turn, he looks at you, Calder, and smiles, and goes, Finally a challenge. Maybe you could have made a class, but let's not forget, I'm S-class.

Alright, well just be careful, because I have an infected ear, and it's not exactly a fair fun. Just avoid the ear. Stop telling the truth, Calderon. It's the left one. You see in one perfect movement, he snaps his chest plate off, as he pushes it onto the ground and it crashes,

and there's almost like an earthquake. Without heavy his chest plate was, damn. as he pushes it onto the ground and it crashes and there's almost like an earthquake. No. Without heavy his chest plate was. Damn. You see, he's got all these slashes and cuts from where you guys were able to find holes in his armor. And you see he swings the pole armor round and looks to be moving faster,

but his AC has gone down. Oh, sick. Let's see how you can handle the power, a friendship, the power of zombies, and the power of tonspeed! Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof! Dude, you only have one belly button. What the fuck? How many do you have?

I have three. What? Uh, yeah. They know what I'm out. Callie, minor illusion, minor illusion. On his first attack, you see spins the pull-on around. Let's try this again, windmill trip. Is gonna try to hit you first,

does successfully hit you. That's only nine damage, but he hits the back of your knee. Go ahead and give me a deck saving throw, or you're gonna be knocked prone. Okay. That's only a 10. 10.

You guys see, Calder's legs are swept out from under him as he rapid fire goes head and takes another two strikes into Calder with advantage. Ugh. Next one. Stunning stick. Stunning stick. Yeah.

Who's wrong with that? We think that. We think that. What is it supposed to be? Nothing. What else is gonna be? I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy.

I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy.

I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good acts. I don't know why we're workshopping this for you. I'm annual cost. All right, goofballs, I crit. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You feel him, he goes for like a liver shot to kind of like shut down your body to like Effectively make you incapacitated for a moment goes and hits you as he goes to hit you

You hold your hands up and make like a little bit of ice and it shatters and takes a little bit of the hit But go ahead and give me a con saving throw Or else you're going to be dazed 16 16 passes Con saving throw or else you're going to be dazed. 16. 16 passes. So yeah, so you're able to keep it together. You are still prone though. He is going to go ahead and do one more staff strike

before Todd Gore. God dammit. Wolf. Wolf. That's a 23 to hit with advantage. Al, my ear. That's just seven damage on that one. That's just a regular attack. And then he's going to go ahead and gore you.

I'm gonna say, you don't have to, since you're prone, higher chance of him hurting you worse, but I'm gonna say he's not gonna be able to push you into a wall or something because you're down. So you're just kind of boring into the ground. That's good. So Dodd Gord just shoves his face into you, just fucking literally locks horns with you.

Oh shit, that's only a 13. Yes, that is easy. Yeah, so just two fucking linemen going at it. You start to lean up as you crack into him with your helm. You see they literally lock horns in a wrestling back and forth. So good. As he see lock horns, that is the lair action again. You guys see the giant zombie that had been on fire before has finally stopped its rampage.

You see it is crashed into some nearby equipment and is pulling it down on top of themselves, trying to put out the fire. The equipment falls down onto him and as he's pinned under it, it begins to rapidly expand. You see it skin tightens as it's innards balloon and it eventually explodes, shooting hot, stinking guts all over the room. Everybody go ahead and give me con-saving throws.

Okay. Kaliope is definitely having character bleed with Glenifer's guide days and she's thinking she's hot stinking guts sounds like a good app name. Disgusting. I only got a twirered at you from a gun. That's a 22 for Kaliope. Okay. It's gonna be an 8 for Saul. I'm wondering if I should use my bardic here. You would, no. I mean, you best you could get would be a 14.

14, that seems bad. I will tell you guys that that will pass if you get a 14. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go for it. Okay. Fuck, that's a 12 total. 12 just fails. So Saul and Calder, you begin wretching.

I'm gonna say this one is not like a controlled zombie attack. So Saul and Calder, you begin wretching. I'm gonna say this one is not like a controlled zombie attack, so Todd will actually have to roll as well. But Todd successfully passes it, he gets a 15. So Calder and Saul, you guys are poisoned, you guys have disadvantage on attacks, and Cali, you are good, you passed. I think I'm gonna be sick.

Frogs drink through their skin. I just drink that through my skin. Beatrix looks at you guys, did one of you guys beef. I look at Calder, because that's the one. Did you call through? Was that you? We can't beef, we only have one as cheek. Would you end the three of us?

Saul, that's your turn. Okay, so I'm poisons, you're hurt, you're hiding. Okay, Saul, if you wanted to hold your turn for after mine, I can lay on hands you and neutralize that poison. Oh, really? Yeah. All right, sweet.

I mean, it's a gamble. It's a gamble for sure. Here's the thing, I want to wait until Todd steps within my 10 foot range and just whale on him from behind this machinery. So I will hold my turn. Okay, yeah, I turn to Callie and I point at my face and say, please, moisturize me.

It's so dry. Moisture is what I do best. So Saul's gonna hold his turn. Calder, that's your turn. I think the ear infection is spreading to my stomach. It's all connected. So I guess I'm gonna take two attacks on Todd with disadvantage.

Sweet, yeah, you get up. You're definitely feeling woozy. Damn, 24 and 11 and 11. So yeah, it's, yeah, you're swinging, but you're feeling sick, you're slowing down. You guys see Todd moving definitely now he doesn't have his heavy armor on. That's a dirty 20 even with this advantage.

Sick, that hits. That hits. Yeah, that hits. And that is 15 damage. Sweets? Yeah, you cut right across Todd's chest, and you see he loses his composure for a moment. Oh, whoa, you're right there, buddy.

You're getting sick too. You cut me, dude. Yeah, you gored me Try to actually you missed on the coin. Oh, but you cut me I'm also gonna second Wind great oh good, okay, okay, so you get some life back That is the fire unfortunately is gonna go ahead and take three cracks on everybody Starting to die down, but there's still a fire licking around every corner. First three against Calder.

Two hits, 23 to hit. Right. Yep. Eight damage total. Didn't like it. Three licks against Saul. Licks of the flame. No!

I put on my umbrella. I put on my umbrella. Okay, so one was gonna be a crit. Yeah. Shield him from it. Flames lick against my favorite. Flames lick against my umbrella. Okay, so one was gonna be a crit. Yeah. Shield him from a- Flames lick against my friend. Flames lick against the umbrella. He is completely safe.

Kali, you take- Damn, that thing is durable. Two hits on you, Kali. Okay. Seven damage, Kali. Okay. We'll start something I could do. You see, yeah, Kali uses her umbrella to shield Saul

as fire licks around the corner and does catch on her leg for a moment. I can see that like a Renaissance painting. Yeah. After the fire, that is Callie's turn. Okay, I conjure up the oiliest little clouds and have them rain all over Saul. And it's lay on hands. I'm going to lay on hands for nine. Six, nine, incredibly. So it's just nine hit points and it neutralizes your poison. Sweet, souls looking slick again, soul, you start to feel like yourself,

you feel focused. Yeah, can I can I ask a question? So it's as an action, you can touch a creature to restore any number of hit points remaining in the pool or five hip points to either cure a disease or neutralize a poison affecting that creature. So am I giving him hip points or am I just using five? I think you spend, you spend five points to neutralize it. So you spend, okay, so you don't get any hip points.

Okay, but I spend those five hip points. Got it, okay, so you neutralize the poison on salt. And then I say go I've added you're ready You've got this your moist now and then you you wanted Todd over here, right? Yeah, and then I say Todd come and get him Looks over you want to see what real friendship looks like points at you Your next, but points at Calder, but he's first Okay, go over there. They're calling you. I'm literally tangled up in you.

We're literally locking horns. Now that I have had the poison filtered out of my skin, I look to Cali and I say, you know, frogs need their blood to be cold and their skin to be moist. And you and Calder have helped me achieve those two things. And it's time for me to repay the favor and solve jumps out from the heightened spot and it's just going to unleash a barrage of punches on top. Sec, careful in my ear. You see going back and forth with Calder turns and looks at you at the last second but

you're already on him, go ahead and make your attacks. You're going to have to lose your butt plates if you wanna catch me. Never a shower with these. You're so rusty. 17 to hit. 17 hits him in this form. Nice, shirtless form. All right, that's one hit.

19 to hit, hits. I'll do a flurry of blows, sick. Two more attacks. 14 to hit. Misses more attacks. 14 to hit. Mrs. Okay. 22 to hit. I hit.

Yeah. So that's gonna be 27 damage. Damn. You fucking right up. Yeah, so you get up in there with your astral gauntlets, you pound him in the face twice. You see, like, loses a tooth as his face swings around. Look, splash.

She is, is how many teeth do you have? However many teeth a moose has. Why do you have teeth at all? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, we'll say, Calder first, since he's kind of locked up with him first. Okay, the stick. First one, he tries to do the trip. He swings at your feet. Trips, dick. 24 to hit.

Wait, that's good. I called it Swing Mill, Trip. But Trips, dick. Trips, it's bad. 15 damage. Good hit. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw, or be knocked prone.

Shout out to the two crew. Yikes. I'm going to go into. give me a dexterity saving throw or be knocked prone. Shout out to the two crew. Yikes. I'm going to call their falls onto his back. He makes the next three hits with advantage. Takes a stunning stick. Right. Shout out to the two crew twice. Gets look self-conscious as he says it,

and you roll out of the way. Can I use repost on that then? You sure can? Great. 17 to hit. Hits this form. Yeah, you stab up into him. I'll say you grab like a side arm

and stab him in the gut with an ice knife. Yeah. Ooh. You don't wanna fight me when I'm prone. That's 12 damage. Well, you took the prone zone. Well, you took the prone zone. Oh, is that the same joke? Same joke.

Okay, so that's two attacks. He gets stabbed, starting to bleed out, starting to look hurt, and woozy. Just with fury in his eyes, takes a slamming strike on you. That one's a 24 to hits. That'll do it. Swings down. That one is just eight damage. Okay.

And then he's gonna go ahead and turn to Saul for this gore to try to slam him into something cause call her, you're looking sick, you're like barfing, you're on the ground. Turns, hey, Saul lifts his gauntlets and prepares to catch the antlers. You haven't finished with me yet. You look pretty finished to me. antlers. You haven't finished with me yet? You look pretty finished to me.

Now you. Call the D2E more Poison Dusty Candy. I'm gonna be honest, yes. He can't lie. He always speaks with a cold clarity of truth. That's a dirty 20 to hit Saul. Sure will hit. So he slams into you with a Todd Gore for just 8 damage. Great. But I need you to roll a D6 to see what he slams into you with a Todd Gore for just eight damage great

But I need you to roll a D6 to see what he slams you into Come on. We just said the same thing. Come on. That's it. One time Fuck shout out to the two crew yikes. Okay, that is once again Tad slams you into the wall his horn breaks a pressurized pipe You get steam in your eyes go ahead and give me a cons saving throw 14 14 just passes nice you are unaffected his horn breaks a pressurized pipe, you get steam in your eyes, go ahead and give me a con saving throw. 14? 14 just passes. Nice.

So you are unaffected, so you just take the damage. I cover my eyes with my nice attating membrane, and the steam cannot affect me. What, well that's weird, right? Are we gonna bring that up? No, frogs have an extra island. Yeah, no fucking moves. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know what you are man, you're a very sick horse. I'm also a loose After Todd's turn that is back around to Saul. Yeah, Saul's leaving it all on the court today I got one more key point. I am going to do another flurry of blows and a standard attack at the last moment

I like managed to catch the antlers. I pushed Todd back and I'm just gonna blast into him, punching him right in his weirdly symmetrical nipples. Sweet. The perfect, what's weird about being perfect? Wait, you'll need to. Sometimes perfection's creepy in itself. Like a little nuance, it's your synchrosy. Right, the amounts find thee, they're in the wrong place.

Yeah. What the right in the amounts find the they're in the wrong place yeah what the right in the middle of the pack That's 21 on the first hit hits good shout out to the two crew and the second hit misses shout out to the four adores that's going to be 11 that's gonna miss okay now one more There we go that's gonna be a 26 to hit. Hits. That's gonna be 15 damage for Saul. 15 damage. Todd is looking very, very hurt.

This is like an insane fight where he's literally slamming you against the wall as you're punching him in the head. Both of you are losing consciousness. Is you're like losing blood. And he's losing blood just slam slam slam just both of you pulling from the depths. Team Tetschen Todd versus the Iron Frog of Esri. Show me what you got. Todd V. Frog. After Solstern, that's called his turn. Calder, okay. You're prone but you can definitely get up and reach them. You're still feeling so sick.

Yeah, I'm gonna stand up and puken to my helmet and put it back on my head. I'm gusting. I'm good. Now 20. Yes! Yes! With this advantage?

No. No. Oh, second. But I did get a 17. So 17 hit. It's still a hit. It's just a strong sad that I didn't get the net 20. That's power and through.

I already have a thorn for the short rest. So that's good at least. 13 damage. Calder, finish Todd. Well, yeah. Yes. I put on my helmet, ripping puke all over my face. And I said, you shouldn't have mentioned the fridge at North.

You can handle the heat, but you can't take the cold. Doug Gore. And I'm going to charge him in Gorham with my puke helmet. You see Todd looks up, he's still fighting impossible. Turns around and you're already on him, you gore into him, your helm pierces his chest. You see the antlers of your helm go up and get under his ribs and stab into him. You hear popping and he goes, as he struggles to breathe, you slam him into the wall, and you just see him going to grab your wrists

to like pull you off of him as you guys struggle back and forth. There's dud. Well, not. Duh. Yeah, that's what happens when you fight Doug Glentifer and Tater. Ha, ha, ha. You swing your helm and toss Todd to the side

as he drops to the ground. I'm gonna need someone to hose this helmet off. Yeah, I make a small rain cloud over the helmet. Thank you. She's great at keeping things moist. Then I take a little biohazard bag and put it in. Yes. So Todd is dead.

You see Flops. Long live Todd. Flops the floor. Todd is dead long live Todd. You do see that because he was given the order, your objective is to secure the mothership that as you start to walk away from him, he is like a zombie.

Like he goes to like grab your heel calder and you guys have to like kick him off. Can I pop, I wanna steal his mana stone. Yeah, you go over. I wanna fucking, I wanna shove my umbrella in there and dislodge it and pocket it. Go ahead and give me an attack roll. 25.

Yeah, you slash it right out. I'll say not like quite an arcane smite, you don't use a spell slap, but there's like a little explosion of energy. Can I say that I dislodge it and then it goes up in the air and then I extend the umbrella and catch it in the bowl of your umbrella. Yeah you catch this monastone so sick. It's just unnecessarily cool. This episode in AdPod has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. I'll say you guys look around and you see that the fire of the lab has started to die down the sprinklers, have finally started to kind of win out and at this point everything that was like super explosive is already exploded. So things are kind of smoldering,

but you do hear the clanging of steel as Beatrix fights star-dunk and jazzler. Oh, no. Oh, right. And we're gonna go ahead and make a role to see how that fight went. Slash is going. Okay.

So we're gonna do their attack rolls against each other. We're almost gonna treat it like death saves. So each side needs three wins. So we'll go kind of down the line. You guys can roll for Beatrix. Beatrix is gonna have a plus 12 to this roll. These guys have a plus eight, but they roll with advantage. So the odds are slightly in Beatrix's favor,

but if you guys roll catastrophically, there's a world where she's on Death's Door and you guys have to help fight fucking jazzle and start Dunwoons. So on Death's Door. Which is bad. You know, let's just go and we'll go in Initiative Order Saul. Go ahead and roll for Beatrix. Okay, here we go. I give you all of my future good rolls That's a not one not one. Okay, we're not gonna say catastrophic failure. We're gonna say That's a Nath one. Nath one, okay. We're not gonna say catastrophic failure. We're gonna say that's a 13. We're gonna say that's a 13.

All right. So they were all with advantage. They got a 23. So, start Duncan Jazzler, have one win. They take the first round. Jake, go ahead and give me a roll for Beatrix. All right. That is a nap 20.

Oh! That is quite literally unbeatable for these guys. That's how we do it, folks. That is a win for Beatrix. The eyes are low. Beatrix. Keep it interesting, don't you? Emily, go ahead and give me a roll for Beatrix.

Okay. 11. 11? Okay, so that's 23 versus their high roll, which was a 13, which is 21 versus 23 Beatrix wins. Beatrix wins. Yes. Alright, that's two in the win column for Beatrix. First one for Stardunca Jazzler, back around to Caldwell unless someone wants to roll for Caldwell. He's doing it. Okay, we keep it honest. We do. Yeah, let's do it called. We'll go ahead all right I'm gonna pick which dice. I'm gonna use you know what I'm gonna go frog dice for this one

And I'm gonna give it a big sloppy kiss just don't make any more promises really get all of my juices on it That's going to be an eight Okay, so a dirty 20 Dirty 20 is going to win it So that is three in the win column for Beatrix. So I'll say, as you guys finish your battle, you guys still hear the clanging of steel. And your initial thought is like,

oh shit, Beatrix, she's in trouble. But you look over and you see star dunk is mortally wounded, has like a big chunk taken out of his side. Oh, and you know that's going to emotionally fuck with Jazla. Well, they are both under a spell. They are both in like sleeper agent mode. So I'll say even you see like something is bleeding out, like it's like an Achilles heel situation. You see that star-dunk can't stand up but is dragging himself towards Beatrix and Jazzler and just mumbling to himself, my objective is to secure the mothership. My objective is to secure the mothership.

And you see Beatrix at this point is just kind of toying with Jazzler It's almost like an end of return of the Jedi situation where it's like Jazzler just has her sword up and Beatrix is just clanging into it just overpowering her just knocking her back with each attack Your eyes may be cloudy now, but you didn't open them when you had the chance Did you? Did you? She just grabs Jazzle and throws her up against the wall, kicks her again and is just beating the shit out of her.

Okay. Do you need to intervene or is this like therapeutic for? Okay. Time out. Time out. Okay. Tio. Time out.

Let's call it. Let's regroup. Let's call it. We win. You guys lose. Yeah, hit the showers. Beatrix, I think that Jazzler could be valuable. You see Beatrix kicks Jazzler down. Jazzler in any other kind of situation

besides being in sleeper agent situation would be done at this point. She looks pretty injured as well. I'll say Beatrix disarms her and just kind of holds her up against the wall and holds a sword to her and looks at you guys and goes, you would have mercy for these people. I mean, it's actually not much mercy

because the second she comes to, she's gonna see her twin is dead. So I think that you could interpret either outcome as mercy. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. 21 persuasion. Okay. Beatrix, we don't need to work with them, but you can leave it here. We've won.

You've done enough. She looks out at the kind of smoldering room, seeing her old allies. You see she looks at Jazzler kind of struggling in her arm still trying to fight Beatrix. Beatrix looks at you guys and goes, I suppose in the rare instance when a battle ends and I still have allies standing, I should probably listen to them. You see she grabs Jazzler and just throws her across the room.

Just Jazzler bashes into a wall and looks injured enough that she probably has some broken bones and continues to try to kind of like drag herself to go fight but is for all intents and purposes incapacitated. It's strategic really, Bear Tricks because now she'll go speak of what you've done here. Exactly. Kallie, do you think you could do a hacking smite on Jazzler to try and properly disarm her?

Yeah, maybe I could just dislodge them and a stone as well. Yeah, it might be safer that way. Yeah, go ahead First one is a 26 26 hits and then on star dunk Star dunk only a 13 Okay, I'll say you get up to Jazzler 13. Okay, I'll say you get up to Jazzler. Jazzler attempts to swing at you, but you slash into her. She also I'll say she has it like on her hand and like her gauntlet.

You break it off and you grab onto it, but once you get close to a star dunk, he's still got enough bite left in him that as you go to swing it to him, he starts just stabbing at you with his sword. Whoa. I think I can't help but see like the the sibling thing and have my sort of sentimentality clouded by that. Uh-huh. And so I kind of can I do a medicine check on this is so stupid and I know that it's so,

it's just the sibling thing is totally like getting me. No, I like this. I kind of want to do a medicine check to, I don't want to bring start on back, but I kind of want to stop up his mortal wound. Yeah. I look to a dog and tater and just say, like, I've like kind of a fraught relationship with my sister

and I can't help but be a little bit sentimental about these siblings who care so much about each other. Can I do something really ill-advised? And I sort of like get some healing waters in my hands and hold them towards the more or wound and look for approval. I blow gingerly on them to cool them off, and I say, if we go around destroying people,

we're no better than mothership ourselves. Okay, use your healing oils. Okay, then I get like sort of like gauzy clouds, so it looks like it would be used for first aid, but it's clouds, and then I wanna try to like stop up this more wound. Sweet, I'll say that as soon as you take the monster. And I want to try to catch Jazzler's eye as I do it.

It started out sincere, but I am like, well, might as well have received this. Yeah. So I'll say that you've plucked Jazzler's monestone from her, which leaves behind like a big wound. It's essentially like, it's like ripping off someone's fucking tattoo or something. So she comes to like screaming and grabbing at her hand, but she, her eyes are clear now. She seems to be out from under the spell and she looks up and she goes,

what have, what have you done? What have we done? You sided with wrong people. What have you done? What have we done? You sided with wrong people. And then I want to try to stop this mortal wound on. Sweet. StarDunk. StarDunk is going to, as you get close to him, my objective is to secure the mothership. Can I just go in like a vet with an angry cat

and just like take a couple blows if I do? Yeah, he's gonna take, he's gonna take one attack on you with disadvantage. Okay, it's gonna take one attack on you with disadvantage. Okay, it's all right, baby, it's all right. And Mrs, that's only a 16-hack, you block. And you guys are able to subdue him. And you do a touch hands that effectively gets him from doing death saves to not doing death saves anymore,

to being at one HP, where he's nearly incapacitated, but not. You hold your hand up to the wound death saves anymore, to being at like one HP, where he's like, nearly incapacitated, but not. You hold your hand up to the wound at his side, and you see the skin begins to regenerate, the blood begins to clot, but he still has this monestone and he still... Can I take a swipe at the monestone? Go ahead. That's 21.

21, you slash into it a huge cut into his hand. Yeah! Sorry. Should've used a smaller knife. As you cut a chunk of his hand and he grabs it and there's no more monestone, you see the sort of crackling energy around their blue plate, dissipates,

star-dunk looks up at you guys. Hey, thank you. I could see everything, but I couldn't control it. Yeah, that's how it was for us, but now you can control it, now you've got a choice. And you saw us kick Todd's ass then did you see that I could kind of see it out of my periphery it looks pretty touching go there for you guys for a second I don't know if I'd consider a NASKicking we were I mean sorry you saw it out of your periphery that sounds

super specific yeah no, thank you. It's okay, I would have done it for anyone. I think I'm realizing. I think you would have. That's just what Duck Team does. Yeah, we fucking suck. Shhh. Bread the word. Shhh.

We do a sucking kiss. You guys do a little sucking sound. Can you just start walking around with props, draw. You guys do hear security bots and stuff in the distance. And you see a jazzler kind of clutching her hand, bleeding, still looks like very fucked up. Looks up at you and goes, we'll say that you will one the fights and you ran out the way that you came in.

But go through the ducts. You see she motions up to like a nearby vent. Okay. Okay. Pop it open and scurry up. Reach a hand down for Beatrix. You see Beatrix looks at Jazzler and StarDunk and just shakes her head and goes,

you're lucky you didn't kill them. Be thankful that you failed. Ah! Thanks. Jump's up after Cali. Okay, good. That was my testing the water. Did I lose her friendship but from doing that?

Okay, great. She's just got a good sense of humor. We don't need to worry about her. Saul gives Caldera a leg up and then jumps in himself. Yeah, thanks. I need the boost. You guys pop off the top and enter this vent. Well're in can we talk to Mark goblin? Yeah, can you set up a line? As you get into the vent called are you here in your ear over and in under and in how did it go out there? Under and in yes, I we we won we won. Oh my god. You really of course and then that's what's going to happen You really of course and then that was going to happen What are you saying over and over and over? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no was like, they've got this guaranteed. What are you looking at? Total ass kicking. You can ask StarDunk.

We absolutely wiped the floor with them. That's only their blood on the floor. I feel like I hear bleeding, which is tough stuff. Now, those are tears from our eyes as well. Me, it was mostly peaking. And peaking too. A yard of teal king, right? OK, well, under and then then what can I do for you?

I was wondering, we have these mana stones and we're about to fuck up Alexanderite, right? So that she doesn't remember some stuff. Is there a way to get our mana stones offline? Your mana stones are already hacked with a false identity, so you should be safe in that respect. Great. Then I have no question. How's your day going?

Kind of scary. We've started the boarding the lab ships. We've had some losses, but we've been able to successfully comment there several of them. I did not want to stress you out. Is Dark Oak any? Dark was in trouble for a second, but the dark is still alive. What about Graham? Graham is still here. Thank goodness.

Keep the nest warm for him. You just focus on your mission, and we'll focus on ours. We'll do. Yes. So we're headed towards Alexanderite's core, I assume. You see Beatrix nods, and she pulls out a little device with a projection of the mothership on it.

It looks like a more detailed version of the one, Magoblin showed you. You see, she takes a moment to kind of make sense of it and looks at the diverging paths of the vent ahead. You see, it looks like a ventilation system for all of these labs around here. You feel like airflow going through here because otherwise, it would just be completely filled

with smoke, but you feel there's definitely some smoke in here but there's lots of air flow. You see she points ahead, I believe I can get us to Alexandra It's core. I'm sure there will be security, but I doubt they'd trust very many people this deep into the ship. Of course.

Okay, yeah, let's do it. So you guys travel down these vents for a bit. And at the end of the path that Beatrix Lee do down, like you guys go for a while, and in fact, you hear under you, like, rushing guards and rushing security bots, because when you guys first kind of got to these labs, they weren't sending any armed guards, because they don't want people

to know about these secret programs and shit. But now it's kind of fucking full on red alert. They do not want anyone getting this deep into the ship. So you do hear people kind of assembling in some of these rooms. But eventually you guys get to the end of the vent. And you see a, um, a great tier looking down into another room. Uh, but you just see it is lit up with like bright white light. Um, everybody go ahead to be perception checks.

Okay. Dirty 20. That's going to be a Phil 323. 19. Good on us. You guys look down, and I'll even say, you guys kind of pop off the vent and lean down kind of holding on to each other.

And you guys see a sterile white room. Don't drop the vomit. Shit. I thought you cleaned this galley. You see a white room that looks empty, just kind of like sterile. You just hear like the buzz of these arcane lanterns, these lights, but with your perception checks, you guys do see little red lights on both sides of the walls.

Looks to be some kind of security device. And at the end of the room, there was another doorway bolted shut. Okay. So, this looks like it might be some sort of secret laser grid should we try and dust it? Can you do that? Does that work?

Can you make some mist to try and see if this is a laser grid? Mechanically no. Oh. Oh. I think that, I think, well, I don't want to actually like, trip it up, though, as a thing. Can I essentially use Presto Digitation

to kind of like shine a light over? Yeah. I'll say the room is about 100 feet across. The red lights are on either side of the walls and they're about every like 33 feet. So there's like three sets of lights across the room. As your light crosses the first one, a grid of lasers pops out between the first set,

and it dispels the light of their prested agitation. Oh, I see. I actually don't understand what's going on, so whatever you should take the lead. Is this like a spell dampening grid? Go ahead and give me our con at checks, if you guys want. And I'll say Beatrix will do the same. I got a 14.

That's an at 20 for Saul. Oh, same. I think Saul just asked Albin what this is. Ha! Yeah, you talk to Albin and Albin goes, if you saw something being dispelled, it could be abduration magic, almost like a banishment. There are security lasers that don't necessarily

do damage or cut you, but might send you somewhere, like a prison, deeper in the world. So ask him if we were to damage the lasers from up here, if it would make it shut down. Did you get that? Under in it, I've received that. OK, you can try to do that. Often that gives away your position

and it may try to target you. That's a risk you might take. Okay. It does look, when you guys saw the lasers pop up, it did look like something you could get through. Oh. It just looked like the consequences might be kind of dire

if you were to get hit by these lasers. It seems like it might banish you somewhere. I see. All right. But it's like a laser grid. It's like what you guys dodged in the tram. It's not just like a full force field. Okay. So we just need to hedge our bets.

We need to try and make ourselves as greasy and narrow as possible to try and slip through this net. Got it. Okay. Okay. Well, my arsenal is almost entirely empty. Gracie and Nero is possible to try and slip through this net. Got it, okay. Okay. Well, my arsenal is almost entirely empty, so I guess if we have no other ideas other than like ability checks, then let's get on. Would speed be helpful?

Speed would probably be helpful, yeah. You saw it took like a second for it to register. Okay. So I can cast expeditious Retreat on us. Yeah, I'll go ahead and I'll hop on Calder's back, like a little backpack, and I will cast Guidance on him. As Saul jumps on my back, my boots grow, skates, and I am Apollo O'Noah style going to try to skate across.

Sick. Okay, so Beatrix, Kali, Saul, and Calder, jumped out from this vent. You guys land in this sterile room. How do you guys want to tackle this? Are you guys going one at a time? Are you guys going all running at once? I mean, is there anything that I could sort of like

monkey bar on the ceiling? It's just that would just be be a different check I think. That would be like instead of a dexterity saving throw, you could do acrobatics or... Acrobatics is better. Okay, sweet. So I'll say Calder and Saul, you guys gear up to try to outrun these lasers effectively with Expeditious retreat. Beatrix, I'll say goes down with you guys and gets yourself ready to go.

Kali, you are up in the rafters hanging onto some beams up here and you are gonna kind of try to time your swings to swing through the laser grits. Yeah, I think because unless we can all go on callers back, I think that's the only thing I can do to try to give myself any kind of advantage. Can I carry Cali too? No, I don't think so.

All right, bear. Okay, so first things first, let's settle callers. Right. So, caller, you run through, I'll say the expeditious retreat is going to effectively undo the first laser grid. So you are so fast that as you cross between the two laser things, the grid comes up behind you, but you are able to roll forward and get out of the way. The next sensors kind of predict how fast you're moving now

and start showing up. And you see lasers going in all directions. You try to look at them to kind of predict the patterns. You find a hole and you try to jump through. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Whoa. Okay. What is guidance?

It's just a D4. All right. 30, 20 with a four on that, 24. Dirty 20. You dive through this hole in the grid, and then you get to this last one, and you see that this grid pops up. Looks to be a little bit more complicated than the last one,

but you do find another hole to dive through. Great. You got this called her. Right, you got this color. Ooh, that's an 11 before this deep flavor. Okay, let me tell you this, the DC on the last one is 14. So if you roll a three or a four, you're through. Oh, God.

All right. You beautiful little D for your body. Come on. That's a four. Yay! As you guys start to dive through, Calder's leg is about to hit one of the lasers and saw you reach out and you grab it and you pull it in and you tuck them in.

You guys both roll through and make it. And I skate stop at the end. You skate stop at the end. Beatrix makes it with you guys. Just like a linole, it looks like the ice chips, but it's just like a linoleum flooring. And I do roll my ankle. Callie, we are back to you.

Okay. Callie, I'll say with Expeditious Retreat, you do the same thing. I'll say you run with them and you get past the first grind. I'm actually climbing Monkey Bar style. So I like, I'm like, picturing like I'm in hell in a cell and I'm just like swinging on the cage. Sweet, you swing on the cage.

Go ahead and give me for the second set of laser grids. Give me a acrobatics check. DC 12. That is a 19. You see Callie flips through. one more. Look at her go. That is a 17. 17 on the last one makes it nice. So Cali jumps from one like monkey barring across, like effectively like swinging back and forth, waiting for the right moment, seeing that the grid kind of gets less complicated at the top. There's just kind of like one bar of laser going up and down.

You swing past it and you do it again on the last grid. Called her holds up a 10. Bravo. So you guys make it across this field of lasers here and then the room ends with this like bolted closed door. And you see, once again, it's got like one of these little like circular windows, but it's just darkness beyond it. Be a trick so you know what is on the other side.

I believe this is the way to the core. The core behind the door. And I maybe hold up like Jazzler's Manestone to see if she has access to this. Ooh. Almost use it like an employee card. You hold up the monestone, and here's the really weird thing about this. This does not seem like an automatic door.

This almost seems like it's like keeping something in. Oh, don't like that. It's suspicious. This Alexander, like a fucking huge, feral creature that they've tamed to become sort of a super intelligence. If so, that's so hot. Alright, you're gonna explain how that's hot later. Yes, explain it to me, but not right now. But for now, we should go figure out what exactly is being contained in here.

Colder, is it crazy if you do your little knock? Yeah, Colder's gonna try the friendly knock. You do not hear anything on the other side. No, dude, dude. So I was gonna follow that up with a punch punch and just sweep the last of the door down. Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch. If anyone could do that, a rhythm would be a monk. Yeah.

You punch into it, you dent it, you break it off its hinges and you kick it off. And you feel like, it feels like an air release. Like this like room has no windows or anything, little gust of air as it opens up into darkness. We're here to fix the PC. We're for my tea. as it opens up into darkness. We're here to fix the PC.

We're from IT. You guys enter and find a narrow room that is extremely tall. It goes up and up. You guys are near like the 50th floor and you know the mothership goes up like 100 stories and this very well could be 50 stories high. There's machinery everywhere, wires, blinking lights,

and a set of stairs, all leading up to a single glowing pod. Thousands of wires connected to it. And there's a dull blue glow coming from it. So that's the cool. That's the cool. All right, without a short rest, I am out of anything that could get me up there. So I think let's just start climbing

unless someone else has a way to get up there. Yeah, I still have expeditions retreat. So I'll just climb this in my ice skates. Just slicing water. Well, it was like walking like someone at an ice skating rink after they get off the ice. biscuits. Just slicing water. Whoa. Whoa. It was like walking like someone at an ice skating rink after they get off the ice.

Yeah. Can I just do like a perception check to see if like any machine is waiting in the wings to attack us? Yeah. Any security measure? Everybody give me perception checks, yeah. Yeah, that's just a 10.

Ooh. Dirty 20. It's just a nine. Saul, you guys just a 10. Ooh. Dirty 20. It's just a nine. Saul, you guys are going up these stairs. You see that there are a lot of this stuff looks like dusty. Looks like nobody is in here really like doing any upkeep or anything like that. But you do see that there are little platforms going off

of the main staircase that look like they could be for someone to fix something or like, kind of walk from one side to the other that's not going straight up. And so as you look over, you do see someone in the shadows. You see a body up against the wall, and for a moment almost looks like somebody like sleeping or something like that. And then they suddenly, as you walk past, they jerk awake. Oh, and you see... A giant. ...patina Glenbottle walks out of the shadows.

Hi there, ma'am. It's Tader's Genderson from IT. Uh, heard you were having some server issues? I know who you are. I thought you might. Listen. I'll admit, you have me back into a corner here. I can't quite send my soldiers here, because they can't know this place exists, and I can't send my robots in here, because an accident would be catastrophic.

But whatever bone you have to pick with me Surely you don't want to destroy us all do you? And that's where we'll end our song Oh my gosh That's good. That'll give us a whole week to think of a sassy retort Fuck you you're the one that's destroyed. You're the one who doesn't know what you're talking about. What do you do just hang out at Dark Brew Weirdo? More like Patina Glenn Buttle. I got you.

Sweet guys. Thank you all so much for listening. This was a fun one. You can hear us chat about it over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash nadpod. That's NADD, P-O-D. Wee! Don't sing it. Don't do it. Okay, not do it. It's good.

Does anybody have anything they like to play? We did it up top, but I need to plug those shows again, because- We simply must. Yeah, I mean, I want L.A. to just get blown out. Okay, everybody should come. Oh yeah. Please blow us out. Okay, everybody should come. Oh, yeah. Please blow us out.

Blow us out, guys. Ah, so yeah, check out those shows over at nadpod.com slash live. That's a right. That's June 16th. Yep. And June 17th. That's right. And that is Portland and Los Angeles. Mm-hmm.

Yes. I'm going to shout out at M underscore humble. Oh, I think the London show or maybe the Manchester show gave us made a murp beef of the week calendar. I gave it to us. That was funny. Nancy who we met after the London show, who does a very cute cartoon called The Not Adventures of Umiboshi and Friends. And then also I'm just gonna shout out a person I met named Oli,

who worked at Willow Grove Coffee in Glasgow, and gave me good recommendations for what to do. Oh, sick. Really. Really great time in Glasgow. Yeah. Thank you, Oli. Thank you, Scotland in general, I would say.

Yeah. Yeah, man, we had a blast on tour. Oh, I've got one more plug. Three Black Halflings has a new campaign. Yes. Yeah, man, we need a blast on tour. Oh, I've got one more plug. Three Black Halflings has a new campaign. Yes. Oh, yeah. Guys, go check it out. They've got, there are about four episodes deep now

called City of the Black Rose. It's a very cool stuff. Check out three Black Halflings. Wherever you listen to your podcasts. Go give it a listen. I would love to plug love, if that's okay. Just the concept of it. We get so many save the dates,

delivered to our PO box. It's, there's too many at this point to shout out all the people. It's that big of a crowd we've been inundated. So I do want to just say big ups to all these nubs. Congratulations to everyone. Thank you for sending us these save the dates. It's really sweet to get to see.

People that listen to our show also find their soul mate forever. That's really cool and reaffirming. So thank you very much. And I will be at all those weddings with my boys, because we do roll deep. Yeah. We roll deep.

We have a really big onterfacts. Jake's onterfacts is terrible. Those guys are bad. Yeah, we'll be trashing bridal suite for sure. Jake is actually taking off for half a year from the show because he's just going to be going to wedding after wedding. Yeah, the wedding. We can't. Yeah.

Bachelor party is in honeymoon too. Honey moves. A bachelor party. We just check in with Jake after three months and he's like, I'm so sunbird, guys. Yeah. The common theme is that I'm not invited to any of them. Some people would be a little bit excited

if you came to the bachelor party, but not the honeymoon. They definitely draw the line. I'm gonna go to the honeymoon, and I have a lot of plans. I have a lot of activities. If you would like to invite us to your honeymoon, you can send us the tickets for the cruise ship at 1920 Hillhurst Avenue number 222

Los Fleece, California 9-0-0-27. Thanks y'all. Oh, yeah. You can follow us on social media there We may already use at CHMF's me at Caldys Cuddle, at the Extra Demole and at J. Gortses Jake and you can Hashtag Nadpa that's any DDPOD. We are the youth of an ancient, we are the youth of an ancient. It is the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Let's get right to it. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hugh C.

Later, McSkater. Matt M. Jordan D.J. Cutter W. Daniel G. Dylan B. Who is missing his own D&D game to see NANDPOT live in LA. Oh, thank you, Dylan. Can't wait to see ya. Dungeon Mama.

Daniel, the Dasterly Dame. Beardman Dan. Scott D. Danny P, Michael McD, Vincent W, Miss, Ter co, Victor T, Boundorse Boy Forever, Dominic P, Andrew B, Justin I, Ragnar Ferdwin, TJ M, Trayle, The C cray. Jared E. Christopher B. Damio R.

Cyborg version of Josh, the cobalt. Brian Woodland, vice president of business development of Sure Incorporated, please send us more stickers. Richard X. Machina, Michael L. Taylor S. Calum L. Jack L. Sam L. Nicholas C. Thaddeus. Thunderous. Turtle. Samuel B. Mike H. Martin P. Matthew E. Colton B. Way cooler than Angry Wheat. Adam G. Tyler F. Ne-badger. Panama James. Andrew the Bard! Captain Sijul! Diana De los Lopez!

Cicilulu! Michelle O! Hercule Poirot! The Rabbit Folk Detective! Timmy R! Croc! Aholyc! Lucas B!

Raco! It's Kevin! Calder's cold come! Hashtag! Love to all my supporters! New York! Casse! skateboard, cast, Steven C. Michael M. Mike K. Lady Taco. Joy T. Nara.

Whitt. And whimsy. Jake L. Nick W. Brave, the badger. Esmi M. Mutton, the mad druid, who has been trying to undo his friend who has been stuck as a polymorph sheep for three weeks, I feel like that went up. Foster, the original boneless duck. Aaron, the asshole ranger.

Big bad, beardo the mad. Eric McDee, giant monsters on the horizon. Percival Fredrickstein von Mussel Klosowski Derrollo III. Christian A. Olivia Kay J. Dragonborn. Joe Roe, the Innopropro. Cody B. Liam D. The Sendrayan. Bin A. Feldonis. John III.

Dave H. Vivian. Koala Bear. Katherine S. David Kay. Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Koala Bear. Katherine S. David K. Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye Pierce.

Bougbars Assistant EZF. The Time Walker. Mark U. Blair. The Bug Blair Barbar Blareon. Kat C. Kelsey J. Pork Chop.

Ariel. The occasional mermaid. Salina N. A.K.a. Valacy Raptor, Minette, the magnificent magic harp, Pat L, a Chutha A, Lauren H, Joshua D, Ryan S, the Bone Duster, the charming fluff, Robert Crisps, Master Printly, Teleketeer Creations fan illustrator, it says insert request here. I would love to see a drawing of Saul eating a Big Burger, Ploups, Carly Anne, Addy K, AP Cleric, Laurie P, those who love and give where they can. Spam gaming who's just some guy, I guess.

Grant L, Connor S. Christopher J. Pebblepot. What happens when you stand on a D4? Your foot takes 1D4 damage. True enough. Logan S. Sileal. Leviathan. Bioquart 7. Rimington CD. Umberd Extras. Sullivan H. Troll. Hop dropper. Sydney T. Jack Hubert. Hi, my name is Brian Murphy. I wish I could tell you that I'm a golden finch, but I'm really just a dirty city pigeon. It's true.

Aferix. Hashtag sexy sauce, lurping snitties. I need to know more about what any of that is. Garble the moist, juicy kiwi,wi, Saul's future life partner, Oh, Champ Wild, Vailan, Sprite Pepsi, Carlin Z, Louis is your Sintar dad, Salty Burrito, Emily S, Harry Cox, Ali congrats on finishing your master's degree, love you, yeah, where to go, A Stell, conflicted DM, Justin Libby, Toreley, Skirmisher, Dandy, E&D, Bunny, Hashtag, Claudius did nothing wrong, Hashtag Frogpal Stucks, Hurts every time, Marcos P, Puff Kalish, Learns

the Balance Druid, Dakota James P, Frida M, Pegos, Self-proclaimed, Faye Prince, Tracy P, the Crick Elf Librarian, Friar Frizzd, Andy E, Holly Hyena, Anthony A, Kristen Z, Lacey, Paige H, Foster's feathery finish. Huh, Kristen with a K, Cal, just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison Inn, Russell H, a monk named Dillgo. Yes the whole thing, yes every time. Zero parody, the not so bad DM, oh it'll be hard on yourself I'm sure pretty great. Nios, the novice monster hunter. Some jerk named Simon, I dreamt he shouted at me that I should remember and free him as if I knew who he was.

Huh, Lorelye Frost, Morgan M, appealing sticker. I should remember and free him as if I knew who he was. Huh. Lorelive Frost, Morgan M. appealing sticker. Steven E. Mr. Adams, Meg the male carrier of Bohumia, James F. Jimmy A. Hi man, hi man, yeah that's me. Cap and Cap, M4L, the dragon ambassador. Wayfarer, inventor of the SS Storm Bjorn, Andrew B, Dalton B, Coat Fresh, Barpo Goodbarrel, Bardberian, and Brewer Emeritus of Waterdeep.

I hope to taste your goods one day. Tari Rhymes with Jabari, Welshlander, Garrett Grocer, aka One Big Curd, Eric M, Mr. D, Sean J, John P, Mr. Sillie Head. Monster Captain Renee S. Cameron C. Hope Stagger. The only dagger of hope. Daniel V. H. Olivia, the enchanting bard who will totally be making money off of the duct team tails with an on the go allgo all-the-stop show. Honestly, I'm excited to see it. Blue Slade.

Mikaela R. Albans Alibaster Aftermath Hashtag come up its will rise. Oh, it's only getting worse. Salam Sticky Sauce, Hashtag CCC Double Down, Calyphe's cumulo cum blast, hashtag CCC4EVER, you gotta love the dedication, Riley S, SirSign93, FICO, Melvin the Muntan! No one is cooler than Angry Wheat, especially not the front half of a horse costume, while so many bits going on, and the shoutouts, the game itself, Chaos Comf, aka I am a smafer. Shaqdaren Rosenthal, Tony G, Logan D, Anthony Dale Murphy Jr., who would like to declare his full support for hashtag CCC in its derivatives. Noted Anthony, thank you very much, Josh H, and of course Jack, the Jack's Jinksing

Rogue in Search of Bohumias, Biggest biggest balls. Godspeed with your quest Jack. And Godspeed to all of our council members. Thank you for listening. I hope you have a great week, and we'll see you next time. Bye bye. That was a hit gun podcast.