Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 17: The Green Lord (The Dragon Elf Chronicles)

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

Duck Team speaks to Queen Umberspore and follows up on a clue about the mysterious egg! Callie blooms, Sol shows off his rock-climbing skills, and Calder drunk dials his helm. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Harp Heaven" by X3nus."Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Sad Mandolin" by Cottager at Freesound.org."Forsaken" by Emily Axford."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."The Baron's Estate" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Bittersweet Sixteen" by Emily Axford."Soul Coins" by Emily Axford."The Pact" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."Tundra Trudge" by Emily Axford."Cursed" by Emily Axford."The Fairy" by Emily Axford."Tarragon" by Emily Axford."A Fairy Remembers" by Emily Axford."Secret Basement" by Emily Axford."Crash Landing" by Emily Axford."Heed the Mushroom's Call" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumya, everybody. Bahumya.

Bahumya. I am your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Paid the ultimate price, but is now immortalized in a statue of ice, solder build day. Ha ha ha. Sort of, yeah, oh, solder build day is immortalized in ice, that is true.

God, but not forgotten. Yeah. But kind of forgotten. And confused for someone else. Froggotten. Froggotten, for sure. sure is an ice sculpture of a different version of salt And then of course we've got Emily Axford bonded with a duck with a blaze of luck Kaliope Patrick. Yes, oh rock on that new sword look. I love my new sword so much. I broke my umbrella Cool sword summer. We're here for it.

And then of course we've got called Voltainer. Saul Bufo, no, no, no. Here for a stit, it's Trent Bint. And if you don't like it, you can suck my vent. Eh. Eh. Didn't like that sound. Well, you know what you can do,

he didn't like it at all. I suck his vent, you know what I mean? I was leading up very clearly his vents, you know. I laid it out very clearly. Yeah. All right. Well, if anyone forgot that buttholes were vents, let's go and do a little recap. So last time you investigated the shiver blade horde

after saving it from mercenaries. There you found a thick stack of bounties amongst which was mysterious egg that Kali had given away to Glenn. You also found one for the helm of Ultras, a giant conqueror, and were able to locate the item behind the ice of the lair. Calder put it on and began hearing a voice telling him to help reclaim Bohumia for the giants. Kali cast protection from good and evil on him, allowing him to help re claim Bahumia for the giants, right? Callie cast protection from good and evil on him,

allowing him to remove it, but he's looking a little gunt without it. Hmm. It needs more spaghetti. Yeah. I mean, anything that gives you withdrawal is something to go for. Right.

Callie, what's the last time you hit your vape? I think we have to keep up. I'm currently vaping. I look like a dragon with how much smoke is coming out of me. In the Messenger's quarters, you found a stack of correspondence with the other Elven factions. You learned that the blue dragon elves were attempting to hunt down Void Elves and punish people that were hiding them.

You also learned that the green elves were holding a secret meeting with other factions behind the blues back. This is happening in two days at the old red dragon elf layer. After collecting the information, you headed back to the shiver blight fort to report your victory against the mercenaries and to lie about called their death. The deception worked and you joined a funeral

procession back to her lair. Meanwhile, Calder, it was a parade. It was a great prodder. Beautiful thing to behold. Calder witnessed a strange interaction while hiding in the woods. Gal card and a few of the cold elves were conspiring with elves in black masks.

Based on the context, Calder was able to assume that the mysterious elves were not actually void elves, but involved somehow with Glenn's order. Cali theorized that the green elves could be pretending to be void elves to sow discord amongst the blues without exposing themselves to retribution.

Back at the Shiverblade Lair, the princess gifted Kali and saw some treats. Kali got a luck saber and saw a cloak of displacement after a strange lie about being married. You are able to avoid pledging yourself to the princess. He is my baby and I am his lord. I am her lady, she is my lord. And you bid the Princess Shiver Blake goodbye. Pray to not divide us. Before rejoining Calder and later Elzor at the top of the mountain, there's a beautiful wedding.

Our hands were bound in the fineness of silks. Their Elzor revealed that they were part of the Deep Elf royal family by way of bonding with Ignius, the daughter of the queen Umberspour, leader of the Deep Elfs. You traveled through the cave of Via Dragunel and met the queen who promptly sent Elzor off to their quarters for disobeying her, but invited you in for a feast

after learning that you saved Ignius, and that's where we are now. So the queen, this giant lumbering cave dragon leads you into this massive stone castle covered in bioluminescent fungi. There's a huge table in the middle of the room made for accommodating dragons and elves. So the tables literally have these huge carved out bowls on the side that act as like trots for the dragons. And then there are... I pop up in front of a trough.

I'm hungry enough for a trough as well. Very bold, very bold. I like that. I like to float in my suit. All I've eaten today is frozen goat. Come pull up a trough next to me. You see the queen Lee Zuerre. I look for the sloppyest trough. You find a sloppy trough right next to the queen's place at the end of the table. But yeah, it's this beautiful carved stone table. You see a bunch of elves are gathering around for dinner

and a bunch of other dragons, like young dragons and stuff, ones that are, you see several here that are like the size of Princess Shiverblade. Like this is a pretty legit powerhouse order here. And as you go and you sit near the queen, you see that there's these little miconids, these little mushroom people, a lot of them are glowing or have like glowing caps.

Some of them are guests of the dinner, some of them look like they work in the castle and then some of them are servants. the dinner, some of them look like they work in the castle, and then some of them are servants. You see a few of them bring over these little mushroom dishes. Hey! You're serving mushrooms? Uh-huh.

Okay. All right. I eat these ones. These ones aren't sentient. You eat a big meaty cap. Uh-huh. And it's quite delicious. It's very filling.

You see they've got sides of these dried out vegetable roots. That's almost kind of like a seaweed, and it's very crunchy as you bite it. And you see the little mic, and it looks up at you and goes, Oh, part of it will be with you forever. Oh, is this like reports for my tummy? No. It's like a Christian communion. Good Christ.

I eat them now in the religious info. You see, the queen just looks at the little mushroom. I truly have no idea what he's talking about. That was insane. Who's that little guy? Grab him. he's talking about, that was insane. Who's that little guy? Grab him. And it's all the same.

Just build up my trough with the root vegetables. Yeah, you get a really thick salad, and they fill you up. And yeah, you see, she's got a couple of attendance and advisors near her, but she does seem like interested in meeting you guys and she leans down like her massive neck to see kind of like eye to eye with you guys and goes, well, what got you mixed up with Ells or his adventures? How big is that eye compared to us? Just so you can get to it.

Big is your head. Oh, right. Sorry, a lot of people are afraid of the eye head scale yeah we be looking at one eye or trying to look at both of the one we can't see the other one great unless we would have jumped back and forth which I can do that he could he could he could so I'll actually with his new scarf yeah so phases back and forth between each side of the table head citrus, well, that's interesting.

As he explains, our temporary pact with Princess Shiverblight on our way to the green elves. Princess Shiverblight, that's embarrassing. Oh, yeah, I'm alienating. Yeah, well, we barely even let you up in. No, that was someone named Saldor Bill Day. What does this smell like? Trustful dragon.

May I take a shower? Of course, of course. We are here because trying to get something back. Yeah, something back that you lost in the woods. That I stupidly gave away. Ah, she was tricked, bewildered by a master manipulator. Oh. I'm trying to undo an oopsie. Undo an oopsie? What kind of oopsie have you, oops?

Well, we, so we followed a duck. Brrr. Yeah. Oh, is that what that is? Yeah. So we're correcting a duck. Not food. Not food. food just for everyone here not food If we ate the duck and I'll be part of that. Oh New sword to the throat of a mic and it is looking at the duck Well, see you later. I don't think you work here

Do you want a pamphlet? Yes I don't think you work here. Hahaha. Do you want a pamphlet? Hahaha. Yes. Hahaha. A pamphlet of mushroom Jesus. Hahaha. Um, get that out of here. Yes, so we're trying to fix a duck-related oopsie. Mm-hmm.

I gave an egg to the green alps from the Feywild. Oh. Well, the Feywild does have... There's a fair amount of dragons and dragon elves here that have ancestry in the Feywild. Right, oh, actually, you're a dragon! Maybe I can ask you. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever encountered dragon eggs that, like, on their own without provocation, just keep growing bigger and bigger? Yeah. That's normal, right? That's like classic dragon. That's absolutely 100% not a dragon. Hmm.

What? Dragon eggs do not, they just hatch. Cool. So what's the, what's the egg that doesn't stop growing? Yeah. So it holds up the bounty poster. Looks at the bounty poster. She can do a history check.

Yeah, she looks at it and she goes, hmm, interesting markings. It does look like scales of some type, but it looks like a dragon egg in this picture. All we know is that the Emerald Scale was looking for this and really wanted to get their hands on it at any cost. Well, they weren't actually looking for it. It's like it fell into the lap via me sitting in Glen's lab. Right. I see. Yes, they can be quite seductive, the green elves. So anyway, suffice to say on our little mission, we've been learning some interesting things that are happening here in your woods.

Do you know about the summit? Summit. Oh! You see, a bunch of her attendants start whispering and she goes like, yes, I was invited to some foolish thing by the greens. Obviously some kind of manipulation or something, I do not get involved in the top-sider drama. I see. However, my brother has been reaching out to me. He has a smaller community of deep elves to the south. What has he been saying?

Because we think that it's possible that whatever happens amongst the top-siders could end up affecting you if it gets sticky enough. You see, she looks around at her table. You see all of these dragon elves. they've got this whole town down here. They've got all these warriors and everything and she goes, I have the utmost trust in our defenses. The deep elves are safe in the caves.

Okay. The struggles of power, there was a time when the, the Ruby scale, there was a great power, they were wiped out. Before that, the Blue Elves were the smaller order. There was a time when it was mostly just us and the Void Elves. Things tend to shift around up there. We're safe down here. Speaking of the Void Elves, it seems like the greens are really just laying on the duplicitness very thick because it seems like maybe they're

pretending to be Void Elves to try and mount raiding parties to denigrate the name of the Void Elves. They're really up to some serious shenanigans. It's political machinations for sure. You see, she looks a little concerned and she goes, well, the Void Elves make it a point to not be seen. So if people are seeing them, it's probably not the real Void Elves make it a point to not be seen, so if people are seeing them, it's probably not the real Void Elves. Have you met a Void Elves? Of course, I have quite a long time ago.

The Void Elves were our dear friends that we do not see each other much anymore. We've built our fortress underground and they've built theirs wherever they are. They like us, didn't want to be involved in the arms race, the politics of the rest of the, um, I have the rest of the dragon elves, so they've hidden themselves away. Are you at all concerned that this arms race might have just escalated to a very, very dangerous place? We, the green elves are in possession of something that we don't know what it is, and it might be more powerful. And it seems like people beyond the elves want this too.

The bronze beards of Iron Deep are reaching out for it as well. Hypothetically, how would you feel if the green elves had the most powerful dragon of everyone? What we're saying is the oopsies, maybe more of a whoops. It's been upgraded to whoopsie. Interesting. Do you want to show her the scale?

Yeah. Colter starts unpacking his back. Yeah. Guys, you guys see Foster begins to puff up. Almost like he's trying to get you to not say this. No, to like remind you of something. Okay, I take my sit in on my lap. Foster, you trying to remind me of something?

What are you trying to remind me of? I'm being intense. Forgive me, I'm full of sloppy truff. You see his red eyes, you connect with him, and you see yourself back at the top of that hill with the sunflower. Hmm. Who's sad are you going to be on? The wild. Okay. Is it possible that this is that the wild is not like a concept and it's an actual creature that's going to be hatched from this growing egg. I kind of just say this out loud too foster on my lap.

You see, Foster's eyes stay glowing red. You see, she kind of looks at that curiously and she goes, yes, the wild, well, that does remind me of something. Are you familiar with the concept of the taming of the Feywild? Um, no. Expand on that. I was born then. Have I heard of that? Um, yeah, go ahead and give me a history check, Cali. Sixteen.

Cali, the taming of the Feywild is the formation of the courts of like civilizations. There was a time when the Feywild was first formed, when it was a magical place where it was dry ads, living out in the woods amongst all of the animals and stuff, and all of these like awakened trees and everything, and it was arguably an even more magical place than it is now. But then with the courts came like civilization, and came these like, competing monarchs and things like that.

Yes, the um, Celian-uncelic courts were created by the ancient fey, the archfay, but I've heard stories of one archfay who abstained from what he referred to as the taming of the fey wild. He has many names. He goes by Oberon, O'ron, the Green Lord. This was the archfay patron of the wild aspects of the fey wild. He was said to have left and gone on to found the beastlands near Isgard in the astral plane. But before he left, he was said to have told his fellow archfay to, quote, remember the wild. Wow. So this, this egg could be a message from him or? I'm going to absolutely need to do a history check on the beastlands, because I'm not gonna let you drop that without him.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, I got a five. Oh, fine, okay. I would say that you- I'm a damnit. A man full of beasts. Get your notebook, dude. I would say that you guys have heard of this.

I'll say you don't know much deeper than that. Like you guys are aware of the outer planes, which are kind of like the places where people go after they die, it's places where gods reside and things like that. These are places that you can be transported to after you die or you can ascend to if you become godlike or you can even travel to if you're able to access the astroplane,

if you are a very powerful being. You see, yeah, she just kind of tilts her head and goes, I don't know much beyond that, but you're speaking of the wild sort of jogged that. What's interesting? That is very interesting. Yeah, well, like I said, we have many people with Fay ancestry here. We have an extensive library with archives.

What? Of course. Yes. Wow. Oh yeah. Yeah, can we hang out in the library? Can we bring this drop into the library? The child has attached the table. Okay, can we bring the table into the library?

Oh, per table is huge. Can we bring the library out here? Into the table. Okay, can we bring the table into the library? Oh, per table is huge. Can we bring the library out here? Into the table, yeah. You've gotta have travel troughs though, right? We do have travel troughs, I think the spiders that run the library can get a bit per sneakety. So, the spiders. Spiders.

Spiders? For sneakety spiders. Okay. So, it takes the spider who is eating out of his mouth. Yeah, just don't show them that. Okay, fair. All right, well, we'll take... I put that in there.

Three TV troughs and directions to the library. All right, yes, of course. And trough tops, so we don't spill. You see, she turns and she has a few of her attendance. Give you guys some food in some travel things. Maybe don't eat it in the library, but if you want to take this and walk around the town, you're more than welcome to. Oh yeah, we could do it like a town lap.

We're going to the library. Maybe we can wear them like little like when someone's selling popcorn at a baseball stadium. I know exactly what you're talking about. Of course, yes. Perfect. Perfect. We'll walk with these. Yeah, food suspenders. Um, well, um, yes, you're also'll walk with you. We'll walk with you. Yeah, please, it's a spender.

Well, yes, you're also welcome to stay here for the night when you're finished with whatever you're doing. You'd like to come back. That's perfect. Do you have a little nest? We have rooms? That'll do. All right.

Right. I'm sorry. I've been around a lot of humanoids. The place I'm from is sort of a place where dragons could just kind of fly free, but the past few hundred years I've been around humanoids. They don't generally sleep in nests. Your giants don't sleep in nests. Yes, I've come across them recently.

Maybe one just for my back. Okay. Yes. Alright, yes, we can prepare an estimate. That would be excellent. That would be great, yeah. I was trying not to show my disappointment. That would be great. I will fill a room with.

We gave beds ago, not for us. Great, excellent. Thank you so much for your hospitality. Of course. I think as I leave, can I try to make a specific flower for her? Yeah go ahead and give me um I guess uh give me a performance check. Okay. I concentrate really hard and just make a real flatulent grunting sound. What was in those mushrooms? I got a 13. A 13? What are you trying to make?

mushrooms. I got a 13. 13. What are you trying to make? I want to make a snapdragon flower for her. Yeah, you make a you make a serviceable snapdragon. Okay, it's my first flower, but it's a snapdragon and they grow in rocky hot places and they're sort of known for beauty under pressure. And so I thought maybe it reminds me of you. Oh. Some people call them the graceful lady. Well, thank you very much. I am quite graceful with a giant lumbering step crashes closer to you, lean to her head down and motions for you to put it amongst her fungi up there.

I've put it amongst it. It's so poorly made that it immediately snaps in half. And then I just got to shove it in. It's beautiful, it goes perfectly with my mold. Thank you. Yeah. All right, well, shall we to the library? Let's trough off.

Yeah. That was tight, Kelly. Thank you. I mean, I made a sunflower, and that's really easy, but now it's time to like quite literally branch out. Right. What do you do when you're like making a flower? What does through your mind? I picture the colors and I picture sort of like the energies and I picture the environment and the earth that it would grow in. And I just sort of conjure all that in my head and then I clench all the muscles in my body really hard. That's where the grunting comes in.

Yeah, okay, okay. Yeah. Just like a full body clinch. Yeah. That's crazy. That's exactly what I do when I summon my gauntlets, but I just picture punching really hard. Yeah.

And then it happens. I mean, it's new for me, so I'm experimenting. Well, I'm here for it. Consider me your lab assistant. Yeah, I'll say as you guys are kind of attuning yourselves to your new equipment that you guys have with you, Kali, you do notice that as you carry this blade and as you're talking about the wild and stuff

and you've been reunited with Foster and everything, you are taking on kind of like a more flowery appearance. It's still very much, you're still struggling to like successfully make them. Yeah, I think I'm making like, I think it's like all I can really make is like little dandelions that grow so easily anywhere. Unless I concentrate really hard

and then I make a bad snap. Right. Well, they're supposed to snap, so it's fine. Oh, you're right. It snaps on a dragon! Okay, a literal flower, okay. But I will say that your guys new items have some like hidden properties

that maybe you had not realized before. Oh, Cali, your sword, it's like a, we're calling it a saber, it has like rapier stats, so it's a finesse weapon, but it's also light, so it's a d8 that you can have in one hand. I'm gonna hit anyone at home knows the luck blade. The luck blade has wishes. This does not.

This is the luck saber. It's a little different. It would be insane if I just had to. It would be insane for me to give you wishes. One D4 minus one wishes per day. No, per day? It wouldn't even be fun. Yeah, so you've got this plus one blade

that's one handed and lets you reroll one thing per day. And Saul, as you're getting used to this cloak that you've kind of fashioned into a scarf, you realize there's some like residual fire magic in it. Oh, well hot out of a collar, honestly. As you attune yourself to this, you kind of unlock its secondary power, which is that not only are you harder to hit with this,

this will give you the power to a hellish rebuke. It has one charge per day, and you can use a key point to refill the charge. Oh, I can refill it with a key point? Yeah, oh. Oh, I'm kind of fast, hellish rebuke. Wow, hellish rebuke is the reaction of the charge. Oh, I can refill it with a key point. Yeah. Oh, I'm a powerful, super-beautiful. Hell's Rebuke is the reaction of the right. Mmm, that's great.

Very fun. And Calder, you don't have your helmet. Yeah, I don't know if I would put it out right now. I will look into it. Do you want to polish it? Yeah, I'll put some elbow grease around the perimeter. You put some elbow grease around the perimeter. Man, wouldn't that feel good to put on? I feel your head a little itchy. I wonder if those spiders in the library would know anything about cursed objects? Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, ask them. I put it

on as we're walking through. You put it on, you feel right. You start to, once again, fill out your back cracks as you stand up straighter. Wow. Gallya, I know what you're talking about squeezing all your muscles, your abs muscles. Your pants are getting absorbed into your ass crack. Yeah, so that, I'll give you a wet shoe. I think so.

And we will find out more about that helm in a little bit, but we're going to hold off for now. So you guys exit the castle. You travel through town and using directions that the Queen Umberspore gave you, you find the library, which is a pillared building with stone spider statues on either side. You climb a wide staircase and enter this old library. You see it's this massive circular room lit up slightly by bioeluminescent fungi.

It's still kind of like hard to see in here. You know that kind of everyone down here has dark vision. So they're not trying to impress anybody who doesn't have it. I just say praise Christ to the mushrooms. You're like, oh, just to share. Who? How can I get it? I guess it was just one fucking way that done guy.

See the one mushroom that you guys saw, handing out pamphlets? Keep an eye on that. You see, as you're entering this library, books and tomes line the wall, and various bookcases in the center of the room. This place has the smell of it's like a sweet smell of malt. Like of just like very old very preserved things. And suddenly you guys see as you enter a giant spider descends from the ceiling.

Very nonthreateningly though you see she kind of curiously puts her two front legs together. She's got four pairs of glasses on, that's her eyes, and she looks at you. Tap-siders. In my library, curious. Guess we've come here to rifle through your fake catalog with the blessing of Queen Umberspull. And if you need help capturing any flies for your dinner, just let me know.

Oh, I think I'll be quite alright. Okay. You look up and you just see a giant fly stuck there. Help! You have to help! I wish it could toss. Please! I was a mushroom.

I have a pamphlet for Please. I was a mushroom. I have a pamphlet for you. It's my birthday. He's just saying that. Is that true, Saul? I find that manipulative. I mean, it'd be smart enough to lie. That actually makes me feel for a more.

Well, girls got to eat. Too true. Take the R.C. I find every single one of her whatever legs is is going to take a while of it. Keep doing this Yes, well, we do have some things on the Feywild is there anything in particular that you're looking for I'm looking for anything about the archfay Oberon or maybe about the archfay Obran or maybe beasts that are unique to the Feywild, Phoenixes or... Obran the archfay Phoenixes.

You see, she skitters over and there is along the wall, there's essentially like a big like card catalog thing. She starts going through them and rifling through and everything. You had just like a bestiary of the Feywild. Yeah, she goes, yes, we've got some various bestiaries of different areas of the Feywild up here, Venixes and whatnot, as far as information on Archfay. There are a lot of prophecies with archfay and curses and whatnot. So that is unfortunately in the restricted section. How do you get the restriction lifted?

Yeah, do you just need a library card? We can apply for it. We can give you a library card. How many flies do we need to slay for a library card? Well, I guess one. And then you can have a library card, but you still can't go to the restricted section. How do you get access to the restricted section? Yes. Okay. Well, I would a Queens command. The Queens command. Give us access. Certainly give you access to the restricted

section, but here lies the problem. My sister is down there, and she is also a spider librarian, but she is far stricter than me and I'm afraid she's gone completely mad. I see. Oh, being surrounded by cursism prophecy makes a lot of sense. Have you met the queen? Yes, she's great. So you know how she has, she's a snap dragon in her mushroom. So that's the thing, right?

You see, she reaches out one of her furry legs. Yes, she has mushrooms all over her head and whatnot. She has a symbiotic relationship with those mushrooms. They communicate with her, she's able to get sort of more wisdom and intelligence with it. They work together to become a more well-rounded being. My sister has a parasitic relationship with the mushrooms that are on her and have driven her Matt and she seems to have gotten it into her head that she's the great dragon of the library and that the books are her

Hort. Can I do an insight check if the mushroom that we ate that said I will be with you always was getting us into a parasitic relationship? Sure. A nine. You see there's a pamphlet in your pocket. You don't know how I got there. Cali, it's a parasitic relationship for sure.

Okay, you're making the sign of the spore. I think we need to figure out how to get rid of this from this relationship for sure. Okay, you're making the sign of a spore. I think we need to figure out how to get rid of this from this poor woman's life, because I'm walking down the same path. All right, so if we, if we cure your sister of the parasite, could we have unrestricted access to the restriction, to the restricted section? Yes, you can either attempt to sneak by her or incapacitate her in some way.

I hate to see a public library under such corruption. We would gladly help out. Maybe we could just slice all the fungus off there. Certainly something you could attempt to do. Or would that be like surgery? Sporgery. It'd be like surgery. It'd be hard.

It'd be hard for sure. We could go down there and operate. That'd be easier if we knocked her out first and then we could just slice him off one by one, right? I think that probably makes more sense. Okay, cool. Okay. Okay.

So we have your blessing to introduce. Not got my sister, sure. Yeah. Okay, cool, cool. Just like being clear, we're going to go beat the shit out of your sister. That's fine. Obviously, we sort of have a bit of a rivalry and see. Yeah.

Okay, so this will give you a little leverage. I go for high fives again. I'm not the round. I'm not the round. I'm not the round. Quick question for you. I wouldn't mind if someone knocked out fucking Syrah. Arguably she was mad before the mushroom shoot for mad.

Yes. Wow, so hard. That's good. Yes, down there thinking she's so cool because she's in the restricted section and nobody can go down there. Question for you. Yes, of course. Do you have any books on the helm of Ultras?

Up here, is that more of a restricted section by... Ultras? I don't know if we have anything specifically on pieces of armor from him, but I, I, I, he's a very important person in Bohumi and history. I would imagine we have some books on him. You see she skitters over. Do you have a nice children's book that we could all cuddle up and read? One with pictures. A little trick. Go ahead and give me a luck check. And I'll say 15 through 20, there's a children's book. 16 maybe. You see she goes. No, no, that's absolutely impossible. Oh, but then she looks through the catalog, she goes, hum, there does seem to be a very problematic old book about a warlord with all of these children's drawings that's trying to like indoctrinate

people to join the giant army. Yes, I do have one. I also have a tomb that actually tells of his battles and whatnot. Okay, let's, can we take the both? Of course. And you know, as a way to say thank you to this great system, I give her the entire collection of Boy Wizard and his frog pal, the entire box set. You were carrying that with you.

You look so much lighter now. I asked you several times to help carry our bed rolls in bed. I'm sorry, I was kind of frustrated. It's just a struggle. I was speed up by 25. You have another attack. It's just my weighted training dance. Thank you, yes.

I only have very old sets. The boy wizard and the owl pal and whatnot. The boy wizard and the otter pal. Right, the first otter pal. Oh, right, the previous iterations. This is the best of the best. The cream of the crop. It's autographed.

There's a forward by the author. I don't actually know who the author is. I think it might have been some sort of AI that wrote all the books in the room. You don't have to worry about that. Fantastic. Okay, now I have to read it. You see she adds it to a huge shelf of identical books,

just with different animals. Salt Pushes the other books aside. Be proud of who you are. I'm proud of who you're being and who you're becoming. Do you want, I mean, before we go down, do you want to look at this because you're wearing the helm? Oh, yeah, sure. Let's give me crack the book. Can I, uh, can I like gather a bunch of bioluminescent fungus like a book light and put it over him so you can look at it?

I'm here. Get it over here. As I don my glasses. Yeah, I'm gonna say this will take a while for you to like go all the way through but go ahead and give me Do you like an intelligence check or history check? Okay, I also like as I'm gathering all the fungus give them a bardic 18 18 Ultras is this famous figure that is kind of thought of by giants as being like the person who kind of brought

them to ruin. Like by seeking this crazy military campaign, essentially bringing war to all of Bohemia. There was a war between the smaller humanoids and the giants on like main land Bohemia, and had they not done that, there's good reason to believe that the Frost Giants probably would have a city as great as Frostwind, if they had kind of tended to their own garden instead of trying to conquer everybody else.

That being said, absolutely fierce warrior. One of the biggest sort of scariest threats to Bohemia by a non deity. But this is somebody who, by pure strength of numbers, by uniting the giants. And that's like the one way that people would, if anyone was a fan of Ultras or if anybody revered Ultras, it would be because he brought together the fire giants and the frost giants and the hill giants and storm giants and everybody to conquer the world, essentially. You kind of like are just like skimming through this book, you see that this is written by a scholar from Frostwind. After this war on mainland Bohumia, Frostgiance are sent back to the frigid north, kind of

with their tails between their legs, and then for decades after that, are trying to take over just Frost Wind and take over. And fail to take it over. So Frost dwarves tend to know a lot about Frost Giants and vice versa. So there's the scholar talking about all this stuff and also talks about how Ultras achieved immortality

also talks about how Ultras achieved immortality by making a deal with this god of war named Grumpch. Grumpch. Grumpch. Or Grumpch. GRUUMSH. But this war god gave Ultras the power essentially to regenerate. And it seems that in his final days,

he was banished and not killed, because he can't be killed. Ah, so Ultras did not die, he was banished. I see, and I know where he was banished till. You sure do. I gently try to remove the helmet. Stays stuck on your head. I just knock on it.

Alright, let's check out the spider. Yep, this is a very, very dire ending to a children's book. I would say that, yeah, the children's book is all about, it's essentially a children's book for other giants and being just like the small people are too small they build their big cities because they're small but we can step on their buildings I'm a helmet no yeah all right uh calder you you feeling okay yeah i'm good all right i think it just doesn does look really fetching on you. Thank you. Yeah, I feel tall than it. Listen, if you...

You tall. If you need that power, if that's gonna help us, like we're here to back you up, we can get that thing off no matter what. All right, even if my head comes with it. I wasn't gonna say that. Well, that's not bringing a world to an end. All right, sweet.

You guys find a sign that says restricted section over a stone archway. And you see that even the archway is covered in some spider webs. Okay, we need to not get caught up in these spider webs. It's all already upside down. I'll say that it looks like this area of it gets cleaned up. It looks like it's not like thick enough for you. There is evidence that there's a giant spider down there, but it's not going to gunk you up yet. Could I do a searing smite to sort of catch all the webs

on fire and try and like clear out the webs? You can do that to clear out some of the webs. You will 100% alert whatever's down there. That is not a stealthy move. Is this like a stairway descendant? Yes. Yeah, you're not immediately face to face with this thing.

I asked the spider if she has a cobweber, which is like one of those long sticks with like a puffy broom on the end that you can use to like get cobwebs off your gutters. Absolutely not. Okay. Why would I want cobwebs gone ever? That's fair. You see a giant fly. I wish I had one. Happy birthday, by the way. Best of luck with your whole deal. Can I sneak ahead and just cast silence, as soon as I see her cast silence around her, so that Calder can move. Oh, so she doesn't hear anything? She's second, yeah.

God. Oh, I do like that. Okay. Kali, you sneak down this stone staircase, dodging these sort of like mini spider webs. I'll say there are like smaller spiders kind of skittering by as you walk down the steps. I'll let them. I mean, spiders are good for god and so.

Yeah, foster just there with you just like covered in spiders. Is this bothering you? Just wear it. Brush some of those off. He seems fine. I allow to eat them if you want where not if I eat him first you eat Just shrugs Finally you guys reach

The bottom or at least Callie does we'll say Callie's going down there by herself right now and Callie you see a Pretty large cavern down here pretty large room, but not nearly as big as the upper level There are a few fungi to light it, but even less than upstairs. It's pretty dark. Go ahead and give me a perception check. 12. Okay. You see that bioluminescent fungi are lighting up thick webbing like moonlight bouncing off of the snow down here. Everything is caked in webs. It's fucking disgusting. There's so much webbing down here. But you see in the center of the room, about 40 feet away from the stairwell. There are about 12 rows of bookshelves.

You also see that there's a some kind of filing system similar to the one upstairs that looks like it would tell you where you'd be able to find something down here. Also covered in webs, caked in webs, and up on the ceiling doing that absolutely terrifying thing that spiders do is the librarian. You can't tell if she's dead. She's just like, one of those spiders just like staying completely still and you're like, is it dead? Is it sleeping? It's just flying in way what the fuck is it doing?

It's just a giant spider clinging to the wall upside down on the web. She's covered in colorful fungi that seems to radiate like poisonous spores. You see like a little like purple mist around her. You are stealthy enough on your own, going down the steps that you have, it seems like she's in some kind of trance

or sleeping at the moment or just like kind of staring forward has not been alerted to you as you've gone down the stairs. But I will tell you that as soon as you like try to cast a spell or something, you'll need to do like a stealth check. I think that's what I came down here to do. So yeah, I think I've got like 120 foot range to make this 20 foot radius sphere of silence,

and I'm gonna make her the center. Okay, so you cast silence around her. Go ahead and give me a stealth check. 16. 16 seems to pass her passive perception. You cast silence around her. You see this little glimmer of an arcane bubble appears around her and then disappears, but you get the sense that it's still down there. If everything's good, then do we have any report spores left? I'll say that you guys still have a few remaining reports spores so that you can be quiet.

Right, okay, so I say all systems go under and over and out. I'm going to practice my stealth down the stairs anyway. Cool, no, there's silence. So you start stealthing down the stairs. I'll say what silence will do is it will give advantage to everybody, which means call there's now gonna roll flat. Great, okay. So as you guys, I'll say you guys can get to the staircase

and kind of scope out the room before rolling your stealth checks, but then as soon as you go in, you'll need to start making stealth checks. Okay, so we can do like a perception check at the base of the stairs. Yeah, well, Calli already did a perception check. So you guys, you guys see everything

that's going on down here. Essentially, the way this is gonna work, you've got the books 40 feet away to the left. You've got to the right, 20 feet away, like the catalog, the references to tell you like where the books are on the different subjects. So you need to be able to get to that and you need to be able to get to a book

without alerting her. The webs are so thick that this is difficult to rain. And if you start your turn or enter it for the first time, you have to do a deck saving third and not get restrained. I see. All right. And anytime you get caught up in the web, you have to roll a new stealth check to try to get out.

Okay. All right. So yeah, we should just try and avoid that big spider as best as possible, right? Yeah, cast expeditious retreat on myself as a bonus action. Sick. Let's see here. So you get more speed. More speed. You still could get caught in it, but you'll move faster through the difficult train.

That's right. I think I can just jump right to that catalog and stick to it and start going through it. Okay, great. Then can I like prepare an action to Wall Saul does that? Attack her if she descends down on us. God, why doesn't everybody go ahead and rule initiative? Even though it's not combat yet, we're just sneaking around. Ooh, baby.

Nine. 15. 23. Ooh. Top of Nine. 15. 23. Ooh. Top of the round is Calder, but Calder, you can hold your initiative if you want to let Saul do his thing first. I certainly do. Okay.

Okay. So I believe my long jump distance is 12, because it's based on strength. Okay. So I'm going to double that by casting step of the wind with a key point. So I can get 24 feet. Sick. Okay. So you lean over the side of the like banister here

as you walk down and are gonna attempt to jump and cling onto the wall. Go ahead and give me an acrobatics or an athletics check and that will determine how hard your stealth check is. Can I have, can I give him a bardic before? Yeah, yep, yep. All right, acrobatics. Yep.

And I do it by giving him a theater kid hand squeeze. You're my favorite scene partner. Show, must go on. Where am I? I wear my scarf like an mascot. And say, yeah, you make your jump and attempt to grab onto sort of the little handle things that let you pull the drawers out of the wall.

It's going to be a 23 acrobatics. 23, go ahead and give me a stealth check with advantage as you land. Goodness for advantage, that is going to be a 23 as well. Sick, you grab onto this little card catalog thing here along the wall, hanging onto these handles. Now that you're amongst the thick web here, give me a deck saving throw, okay.

That's gonna be a 24. You're good, you're good to move around. All right, so you keep it so your legs essentially aren't touching, you're able to just hang on. You've got like really good rock climbing finger strength as you go from one little handle to another. Absolutely flashing this route.

Damn, look at those grips. Calder, you should baita me. And you open it up, you start digging through these little reference cards and everything, and you do find a book called Serpents and Such. I think we have it in such that references Obron the Green Lord and there's a particular section, the third row of bookcases Saul copies of the information on the card

And puts it back just in case it's booby trapped sweet and then slowly closes the drawer again Third shelf copy serpents and such serpents and such happens am I gonna become a lizard girl? Whoa, I believe you have that in you happens and such. Shepherds. Am I gonna become a lizard girl? Whoa. I believe you have that in you. It's weird. It's almost like I feel like there's someone in me who loves fucking reptiles and lizards. Caulders still have a hell to action whenever you want to do something, but after, uh, but

Saul did not alert the librarian, so uh, Callie, that's your turn. I'm gonna look to Coda. I'm a medium sized buffoon. I think I'm gonna trip over my own two feet. I trust you to be more stealthy in me, but I'm ready in case that spider sees you. Okay, if that is the case then I'm just gonna try to jump to that. No, I'm going to face that to that third shelf. Ooh, sick. Okay. So it is 40 feet away. I believe face

up is 30 feet. So I can I jump 10 feet and then face that. Oh, okay, go ahead and give me an acrobatic or an athletics check. And I'll make the same rule that I had for Saul, which is based on how you do this. That'll determine the stealth check. That one becomes a 12. Huh? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah right to one of the bookcases and grabs on.

Kali, as you look up, you see that one of the webs that's attached to the bookcase pulls a little bit. You see that it slightly jerks the giant librarian and opens her many eyes. A dragon. Um, yes, that is right. and you are in my horde. So Callie, it has already passed her initiative. All you've done is used a bonus action right now, so you still get to act.

But you see, she begins to Twitter her front two legs like her sister upstairs. A twist and turns her giant head. Come to steal my hoard, have you? Yeah, and it's just me and only me and no one else is here. And then do I have enough movement to just run away from where I am and then hold my action to attack her as soon as she... She's only like 10 or 20 feet up.

If you get on top of like one of these bookcases, you can reach her absolutely. Okay, then I'm gonna try an attacker. Sick, okay, so go ahead and give me, let's say a deck save to see if you get, you're either gonna get caught in the webs or you'll be able to get on top of the bookcase. Okay.

That is a nine. You guys see, Cali goes to jump up but her hands are stuck on the bookcase. Okay, you know what? This is my first go with this sword. So I think I'm gonna use my look point to see. Okay. I know.

It's just been burning a hole in my pocket. 14. Stay stuck. Oh! I'm restrained, but I can still cast a spell from being restrained, can't I? I believe you can. All right, then I'm just gonna shatter her.

Whoo! Ah, sick. What does she do? She does a con save. Natural three, she misses. Okay. She does not look very hearty at the moment. She's just got like poison spores,

creating like bulbous boils all over her. Ow! You're sick. Okay, that is 23 Thunder Damage. 23 Thunder Damage. Sweet, you cast this shatter. These waves of sound hit her. And you see she kind of recoils

and skitters back a little bit. Pshhh. Oh wait, I had, can we say that I lifted the silence though, like the silence, like I dropped the concentration on that? Okay. After Callie called it, you've got an action prepared. Yeah, all right, I'll jump out and say, this rebellious youth is snuck into the restricted area.

No, that's against the rule, I'm sorry. I can't believe you followed me in here. Youth is snuck into the restricted area. No. That's against the rule. I'm sorry. I can't believe you've followed me in here. Yes, you've been very naughty. Give me a persuasion check. You're trying to ruin my good time. 14. Upstanding librarian.

14. Okay. She doesn't add anything to insight Does get a natural 17 and get you yourself sneak into the restricted section. I just gave you don't work here You know spider My sword your sister said I could kick your ass To do it I look at Saul cuz I'm a little embarrassed that Calder's performance wasn't as good as ours Maybe stick with your classic scene partner I look at Saul, because I'm a little embarrassed that Calder's performance wasn't as good as ours. Maybe stick with your classic scene partner. Calder, as you were... No, it's squeezed my imprint, Gertrude.

I wouldn't know all of my own cold. We're gonna have to work on that, we all. Give me a dexterity saving throw as you enter the web. Your blocking was terrible. We'll do some warm-up. We've got some acting books down here if you need them. Yes. Saul and Albin were in every school play. was terrible. We'll do some warm-up. We've got some acting books down here if you need them. Solid Albin, we're on every school play. It's a 16-dex save. You're good. So just difficult terrain. She's 40 feet away up at the book count. Cases near count. 40 feet.

Okay. Do you have expeditious retreat, right? Yeah, wait, so I can use a dash action as a bonus action. Sick. So with the dash action and your regular movement, even though it's difficult terrain, you get over to the bookcases. All right, cool. I'll take my two attacks. Fuck my penis. That is. What did you say? I said, you heard him. This performance is going bad in every regard.

That's a 15 to hit and a shout out to the two crew 15 actually hits okay. Oh, I'm just a big spider got it This sucks I wrote the one and a two on my D6's on nine damage you hear a voice in your head as you swing and go, hmmm, but then chill, but not as strong as it could be. Yeah, well I went into the scene cold, so. So, that's good to go into the scene cold.

You could have squeezed my head a little bit. Um, after a call-ders turn, well, call-ders, technically you go to the top of the round. So reset. Wow, love it. It's like a free action, Sarah, two more attacks. There it is, that's a 24 and a 22. Both at, ooh, great.

30 damage. You stab into this giant spider. She recoils back and then goes to attack. That is her turn. She's got, you're in front of her. She's got Cali a little bit further away, but Cali is restrained, so she's not gonna worry about her at the moment.

She's actually going to spit Webb at Saul across the room to make sure he doesn't get involved. Wait, did she see me yet? Oh, maybe she hasn't seen me. You're right. She spits web at Calder. Calder, give me a deck saving throw. Gross.

She'll know when I make my debut. Yeah. 17. 17 passes. Calder, you are not restrained. She is just going to take four attacks. She attacks in Basically like pairs of legs like two pincers

Next set of pincers next set of pincers. Whoa whoa whoa 17 to hit misses 23 to hit hits shield shield My AC is 19 while wearing this helm. Yeah Third attack is is it 27? That, yeah, that'll do it. And last one is a 22, so that misses. So she just hits once, 14 damage.

Whoa. And actually, as you hit her, you saw a bunch of the mushrooms exploded and let out poison spores. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw to get out of the way. Ooh, yeah, 19. Okay, you successfully get out of the way. Ace of cold guy, but it's dice a hot. Surprisingly dexterous for a room full of whip.

Ha ha ha ha ha. After her turn, that's all turn. Okay, so Saul wants to do a perception check of the ceiling around the web. Is there anywhere that I could hang from on top of there, like a chandelier or something, or is it just all caked? All caked. It's caked.

It's caked baby, okay. Is it caked? Yes. Then yeah, I'm just going to leap into the air and activate my gauntlets and try and just hit her like a fly swatter. Sick. You are actually right now 60 feet away,

because you move 20 feet back. Well, my movement is 45, so I'll use step of the wind to double that so I can get there. That's going to be another key point. OK, that gets you 45 feet because it's difficult terrain. Ah, OK. What is the range on Thunder Wave? I think I can hit it with that on second.

You can definitely hit her with that. You can get, yeah, you get within 45 feet and then are gonna cast Thunder Wave. So I get within 45 feet, realize I'm not close enough to hitter with my gauntlets, so I'm just gonna do fill my throat sack with lightning and then expel it at her in a funny way. You see, lightning starts traveling through this web.

That all attaches to her and shocks her. Ow! She does a con saving throw and fails. Go ahead and roll your damage. 2-D-8. There he is. That's 10 damage right there. Nothing like a little special effects for your stage show.

Give it a little sizzle. Go ahead and give me a deck save to try to knock it stuck in the whip. Ah, okay. You still have a bardic. I don't know if that will get you there, but. I think it might. A deck save. Alright, so shout out to the two crew. That's gonna be a nine and then I don't know if that will get you there, but. I think it might, Dex save.

All right, so shout it to the two crew. That's gonna be a nine and then I roll a D8. Yeah, you roll a D8. So you'd have to roll a D8. You need to get a six or higher. That's a seven. Yeah! You are not stuck in the webs.

Great. Wow. Nice. After Saul's turn, that's Callie's turn. Callie, you are restrained at the moment. But you can attempt to get out at the start of your turn. Okay, I'm gonna attempt to get out. 15. 15 gets out. Oh, yes.

You're wriggle free. Your new lock saber swings through these webs around you and cuts you free. Can I try to attack her? Yeah, you try to attack her. Go ahead and make a text. You guys called her and Callie are both atop this bookshelf.

Callie climbs up behind her as she's using her legs to try to kick at Callie and get him down. Knock it off. Yeah, I think I just want to like swing with my new sword. Sick. I really, really want to feed this beast. Yeah. Woo.

17 on the die. Yeah, that'll do it. She's gonna hit and I will third level smile. Woo. 17 on the die. Yeah, that'll do it. So it's gonna hit. And I will, third level smile. Sick. Oh, yeah. Also, I was gonna do defensive flourish. Sweet, so it gets out a big piece of metal

and shakes it to create a thunder noise. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Come on, baby. 30 to dummy. Woo. Shit. Yeah, explosion of energy. As Kelly strikes forward with the Luxaber,

you see vines and flowers grow around it as a giant spiking vine sticks into this thing's side and shoots off poisonous spores as you hit a bunch of the mushrooms off. Go ahead and give me a deck saving throw. Oh, so we are operating? Yeah. It's a 12.

We're dermatologists. On 12 failed, we take seven poison damage, and your poison until the start of your next turn. And I add seven to my AC. Oh, she's just crying. Oh, okay. Is that a big your AC? 25.

Okay. So your poison, so she gets a advantage on attacks against you. Well, you know what? By 25, you damn good. I think I'm like drunk, because I like feel woozy, but also powerful. You look cool. After Callie's turn, that's called a turn.

I think I have like the drunken monk thing, where I'm like weaving and bobbing out of the way back. I'm like a flower blowing in the wind. At the start of your turn, give me a deck save to not kick out in the webs. As you kind of are dodging out of the way, as she swings these spiked claws down onto you. Whoa, 16.

16 saves. Nice. I'll take two attacks with the big ol' ice shard. That is 11 misses and 18. 18 hits. 11 damage and I will action search. Just because I have the sister's express permission to kick your ass.

I sister said that. 19 and 22. Yeah, your sister who's a dragon, who's actually a spider. Never met a spider who's related to a dragon. Impossible. 29 damage. Sick. Very good. She's starting to look pretty fucked up.

Okay, I have a plan. Okay. If anything, you see a bunch of the mushrooms are falling off of her. Wait, why don't we fighting about again? We're just trying to pimple pop all your mushrooms off. Ah, yes. You call this in here.

Get out of the restricted section. Give me a Dexave to not get hit with poison. 19. 19 passes. Good for you. After your turn, that is the Librarians turn. Librarian, once again, going to try to shoot some web onto a cauld Calder, Calder, give me another Dexave. I gotta just drink so much.

I will get you eventually. He's being very loud for a librarian. I think that I think that was the time. That's a 12. Okay. You are restrained. Now she's going to attack you with advantage. What do they say?

I was killing the Dexaves. Why did I say it? Okay, first attack is a 25 to hit. That'll do it. 14 damage. attack is a 25 to hit. That'll do it. 14 damage. Next attack, 21 to hit. Yep. 16 damage. Next attack, 21 to hit.

Yep. 12 damage. How many attacks did she get again? Last one. Oh, four. 25 to hit. Yeah. 13 damage. I'm going to use Stone's endurance.

Sick. Yeah, there you go. You get her. Really? You seem quite hard. You have to book on bandages is in order. I didn't take the book. Or a book on knowing when to give up.

I didn't take that book. Or how to follow instructions. I'm gonna sit down but not because I'm tired of her. Just because I'm bored of your lecturing. After the library and that's all started. Your sister called us down here to pop of your lecturing. After the librarian, that's Solsturk. Your sister called us down here to pop all your pimples. We are the on-the-go-pimple popper doctors, and we are here to help you, ma'am.

Oh, I hate that for us. You chose a direction. Go with me. Yep, I'm a doctor of pimple-popping pimples. Strange. I've never read about characters like you in my books. We're that fresh new book, we're hot on the list. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and get within range and I'm going to take my two attacks. Sick, give me a dexay first to not get restrained

at the start of your turn as you move through the webs. Lately, that's a 15. 15 does it. Yes. Oh, guys. You run along the top of the webs, gladly. That's a 15. 15 does it. Yes. Oh, guys. You run along the top of the webs, so foot-footed.

You're frog juices are like neutralizing the web. Oh, yeah, I like grind along it with my weird toes. Strange, strange toes. Stop dragging your vent across the floor. Get your vent out of here. Vent hall, get your vent. All right, yeah, I'm going to activate my gauntlets as a bonus action, and then just freaking lay endure. Nice.

OK, so this is going to be a dex save for her. Sick. You make me do a dex save. You do a dex save. 14. Fuffa, fuffa, fuffa, ool. Six. Ah.

So that's going to be 2D6. I'll just set those aside and roll them at the end. 13 to hit, misses, one more attack, please. 17 to hit, it's 12 damage. Sick, yeah, activate your astral gauntlets, run along the top of these webs down here, jump up to the bookshelf and start pounding into her. All three of you are fighting her at the top this bookcase with spider webs all around you. Cool. Do I take pimple damage?

You don't take pimple damage because you're not within five feet. You can attack within 10 feet. Specific to people within five feet. So if anything, you guys see pimples popping near you. That is Kie's turn. Callie at the start of your turn, Dexave to Nake caught in the webs.

Nine plus six, 15. That's okay. I'm gonna lightening up a thunderous smite. Nice. And go after her. Oh, am I still poison? No, it, okay. Start of your turn, you're good.

Okay, 15 plus nine, 24 to hit. 24 hits. Great, I'm gonna use, fuck it, go big. I'm gonna get the level, flourish, and my thunderous smile. Sick. That's it. Ha ha ha. Stab down into this mess of spores and boils

all along the back of this giant spider. First we dance, then we dance. My AC is now 21. God that rules. Those flourishes. I love watching those little diamonds dance. There's so many d8s. Dance for me, my children. Dude. 42 damage. Halle finished this spider. I think that I take what Saul said to Ha and I use my new soul that's meant to deal death and damage to Lance Oliver Pimples. Yeah you slash across all of these sports and mushrooms that are growing there. And they're like,

I summon a little aloe vera to see it. I hate it, but I love it. I can't stop watching. Why? You see, she begins like having this reaction before like turning over and passing out. She lets out this like terrible screech. And she passes out, but it appears to still be breathing.

But after a little bit, you see her sister, the other librarian, ah, yes, I was watching from up here. It looks like you've managed to incapacitate my sister. Good work. I can take it from here. You see she skitters along the web. You see she starts spitting out web and putting her sister in like a cocoon

and then drags her away. Okay, it feels like everyone in fucking Bahumia has sibling issues. Am I right? I know you do, Kolda. I know I do. I'm sure you saw in some capacity too. I mean, I'll put an eye on her very close and yeah, we didn't really fight that much. So I guess I got a pretty good relationship.

But you know, I'm hoping to get into a sibling squabble with you two one day. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I would ever put you in a cocoon like that. That's very nice because you know, that library, I looked really stressed and it's very sweet of her to put her in a tight little cocoon like that. Oh, that's a better way of playing with the balloon. Oh yeah, like an anxiety blanket. Yeah. I wonder if she ate that birthday bug. That still thinking about it I guess I open up this third shelf and I look for set been since so sweet This episode of NAD pod is brought to you by bird dogs There a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two

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You find this section that Saul had found and you find all this stuff by this author named Cordone the Gold who you see that they have a lot of books on dragons and the history of dragons and things like that and there's only one kind of slim tomb about serbents but you see that there is a section on the Feywild, and specifically on the Arch Fey and on Obrin, the Green Lord. There is a sketch on the first page, a silhouette of a broad shoulder being roughly

in the shape of a man, but with stag horns, and he's wielding a bow. And you see that there is this passage that you find in this section that talks about kind of the taming of the fey wild and when the crowns were made and when the courts were made and when the alladjorn first started like their civilizations. You see there is a prophecy that is associated with the green lord and it reads as follows. that is associated with the Green Lord, and it reads as follows. Before Operon ascended to the Beast Lands, he warned the newly civilized Fay to remember the wild. For though he was leaving it, he loved the land and wanted to protect it. He asked his faithful beasts to dig a hole one mile deep, and in

there shot three arrows with his magic hunter's bow. The arrows turned to serpent eggs and were lodged deep in the earth and buried. Obron warned that if the Faye solid the land and reaped all its magic, the eggs would surface and expand, birthing the serpents, who would devour the land and deliver it back to the wild. Oh, this is it, because my sister is definitely draining the Faye wild of some of its magic. Kelly, how many eggs did you start out with? Only one. Okay. So there are two more out there. But if we found it and had a good relationship with it, And that's a good relationship with it. Maybe we could like... You're talking about hatching the egg and then like raising it to not destroy the world?

Yeah. That's a better plan than having Glenn do it. Glenn destroys everything he touches. Yeah he does. Yeah he does. Thank you. But you have a couple good weeks. You have a couple good weeks.

She's not emotionally mature enough to have that ink. I don't know what I know about Glenn. That ink needs a good family. That ink needs a good nest. That's right. Glenn needs a good talk and two. Yeah, he does. What do you think that the other two eggs

are still in the Feywild? I imagine if one surface, the other two, whatever as well. I have no clue. Kelly give me a insight check. I'll say you can do it with advantage. 17 plus 118. Okay, um, Kelly, when your sister was trusting you to be a career with this, it seemed like a big job, but it was more of like a big job because she didn't trust you.

And this was like an expensive thing. Like dragon eggs are expensive, especially outside of someplace like the living wood where there's a lot of abundance. You were bringing this egg to just this like shitty beastmaster dude from Iron Deep who had a bunch of dragons and cages and seemed to just like, sort of a common criminal or like low level and like a crime family or something. Kali, you get the sense that your sister has no fucking too much deal with.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I think my sister didn't even know what this was. Yeah. Which means that it's been- So you can hold this over her. Yeah, you're right, I can. I'm getting one over on Glenn. I'm getting one over on Sira That's right. We're gonna put them in cocoons everything's coming up Kelly as I say that a couple dandelions sprout out All sneezes, but this will also mean that if there are two others

They could have not emerged yet But they also could be in the hands of someone who doesn't know what they are also. Right, so we have to, we have to get, at least we have to get the one that we know about. Yeah, that's a good start deal with the two that we do. This is weird, but I think we need to ask Queen on the spot if we can hang on to this text. It seems like just even this information being out there could be misused. Yeah, let's apply for that library card. Uh-huh. Because then we can keep this book for, you know, a misused. Yeah, well let's apply for that library card. Uh-huh.

Because then we can keep this book for a long time. Yeah, we've got 8,000 gold. I think we can pay the late fees. Yeah. And if we never come back here, we'll just owe them the right. Give me a late, whatever. I mean, yeah, we can just, our late fee can be like an annual donation to the library, which is something that we can get behind.

You guys, you guys do know that elves live so long that their library Let's you loans it out for a while All right, like you can hang on to this bad boy for like a year I I sheathed my sword and unsheathed a quill so I can sign up for a library Yeah, you go up on the of main librarian here who is who is some and some nearby clerics who you see are starting to patch up the spider that had all the fungus on her that was messed up. Does look thankful, it comes over to you guys. Oh, that's good. Thank you so much for freeing up the restricted section and I suppose helping my sister. No

doubt. Of course. Does she stay here? May I offer you free library cards? Free! Free! And we are the library card. Is such an expensive membership. Are you kidding me? Nope, I'm willing to offer you free library cards.

Wow, that is amazing. I am beside myself. They do things different in this game. They really do. In the fair wild, it's like the VIP membership. Yeah, yeah. You got to put in a spell slot to check out a book. Launchpad. I don't got any of those. Okay. Uh, yeah. We love a library card.

I love to read this, uh, the book on Ultras. My name is Maeve Heyper. Oh, yes. I'm don't you virgin, kill day with a C. Okay. Uh, let me, um, I'll just write that down here and I'm don't you virgin killed it with a C. Okay, let me just write that down here and beautiful But I'm also smart and I never get any credit for it. Yeah, because I'm so beautiful Where does that is there like a back where we can write that description? Yeah, I'm yeah, live I suppose I can write that as part of your name. Yes And I'm sol-po-fo. Great

Sol-po-po. Here you go. Just make sure that you get these back on time within seven years. You got it. I will sat in a lurch. Draconian, but I guess that makes sense. I'm done.

Very good. Okay. Well, we have a nest to get to. Is there anything that you need from us? You saved my sister and unlocked a, freed up a huge part of the library. I think I'm good. Okay, we spilled a lot of travel trough down there.

Yes, it's the one you brought food into the library. We brought just, it was just a light travel trough. Right, I mean, my sister may not have even gone mad. She might have just saw that you had food in the restricted section. Well, we popped a lot of pimples too. So might have just soft that you had food in the restricted section. Well, we popped a lot of pimples too. So you're really just gonna want to do like a thorough margin anyway.

We're just gonna have to go ahead and call a cleaning crew. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, well, chau for now. Yep. All right. We'll see you. I was so slid. Chau for now.

Chau for now. We'll see you in seven years. Chau for now. All right, everybody take about ice squeeze, call there's hand. That's what I take about I squeeze Calder's hand. That's what I need to do. Yeah, you get a theater kid hand squeeze on each side. Yeah, Calder paroets his way out of the library.

See, Saul's still holding her hand and gets thrown into a wall. Yeah, you guys leave this library. And an expeditious pirouette. Ah! Where do you guys want to go from here? Oh, should we check in on Elzor? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hits on you. I do it a new weapon. Yeah, yeah, it's totally cool. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have gotten it every single time. That was rough, but it's not your fault. It was my fault. Okay. I attacked the spider with the sword.

Do you want us to have put you in a cocoon? After we talked to Elsa, I guess. Maybe instead of a nest, we should do a cocoon tonight. Ooh, just for one night. Yeah, one night in a cocoon. Sweet, you guys go back to the castle, this wide stone building, and you do see that there are all these,

these glass windows overlooking the city here. You see different colors of fairy fire coming from different ones and all these mushrooms all around. I'll say that you guys speak to one of the people working here, one of the nights and ask where Elzor is staying and you find their room and you do see that there are two guards outside of the room. Is there angsty music coming from the room? Yeah, there's an angsty loot playing. Hahaha. Like live, like Elzor's playing the loot.

Yeah, Elzor's loot player is a lot of. Elzor's playing the loot very emotionally. Oh wow. I take out the pipes and I stop playing with the loot. Oh, you know I start frog hunting. You see one of the guards holds their hands up. Hey, hey, hey, okay. I know your guests of the castle But the Prince X else or is being punished

Yeah, and we just want to go make sure they're okay Right. Yeah, we're checking in to make sure that they're being properly punished. Did nobody come to assess the punishment? Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Galley persuasion check, galley. I think you should do it. Oh, no, right. All right, man. That's about right. My charisma's plus two, but I got a five, so it's a seven.

A seven. They just look at you. No, you absolutely can't go in there. No. Elzor! Elzor! Elzor! Elzor!

Come in, they're still eating. You guys don't hear Elzor. Youzor! Elzor! Elzor! Come in, they're to leave! You guys don't hear Elzor, you just keep hearing the loop play. Okay. Oh. Oh my god. Okay, okay. I want to find another place of egress

and I want to try to track where Elzor went. Awesome. So you guys know where Elzo's room is. You guys are down the hall. You guys are escorted to your nest. And once you get there, you do see that there's a way to, these windows have like little balconies out there. And as you guys like go out to like look out

and try to track Elzoar, you do see that Elzoar is flying up with igneous. Look like they like broke igneous out of the infirmary and flies back onto the balcony, looks around in all directions, and then you see they like very quietly sneak back into their room. Okay, should we sneak in as well?

Yeah, we can sneak out across the... Should we pop in? Can we sneak out and maybe we should get a dragon owl? Oh, cool. Sick should we bring some mushrooms? It seems rude to show up empty handed. Yeah, you do see that there are a dragon owls of flitting around the cave.

I called her you. Called her whistles for one. Speak, what do you mean? Go ahead and give me an animal handling check. 15. 15? Yep. Dragon owl flies down attaches to the banister Go ahead and give me an animal handling check. 15. 15? Yep.

Dragonel flies down attaches to the banister of this balcony. Clipy takes out a speaking stone and calls a dragonel. Give me an animal handling check. Wow, you can just hail a dragonel. 16. Sick? Yeah, you see another one comes down. These are very domesticated. I look at Call the, and I'm like, race you.

I don't know why I want it. Wait, I was like that. Sweet. Yeah, yeah. So I'll say there's room for you on one of them. It's like a horse, so two people can go on like a small perch. So, jump on quick, because we are catch-cala.

So, all roles as I just grabs onto the tail. Sweet, give me contested, I am, I'll handle the checks between the two of you. Okay, I am making decision not to have to match my nat 20. Oh! Can I just cast Sleep on his dragon? I'm sad. You want to risk herding him.

I can't, I'm on this dragon to get to sleep, I just drag an element and feather fall on them Sure, this is absolutely fuck. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's old, Callie, that's old, Callie. I'll just do that. Okay, I got, I only got a 13. Okay, I'll say that you see. Callie thinks of casting sleep and then feather fall. Golders sees the spell in your hand. Oh, what are you doing?

And then she's like, you know what? I already have most of his money. Yeah, Kali is going to cast a spell. She was like neck and neck with you, but decided thought about cheating for too long, and you're able to blow past her. And you guys land on this balcony outside of Elzor's room. You see that there's this little door open. Elzor looks at you guys It goes, oh hey guys. And you see has this like self-playing loot there and slick waves their hand and it starts playing a different song

Holds out their hands and hits you guys with rapport spores and goes probably easier for us to talk like this spores and goes probably easier for us to talk like this. Right, right, right. The guards are outside. That's right. You guys look inside, you guys enter a wide, huge room, not necessarily just because they're royalty, but because it looks like Igneus stays in here too. You see that there's this like,

kind of like Princess Shiver Blight, there's like this like indentation, this little drop off, the circular like bowl in the floor that looks to be, that has like pillows and blankets and stuff, that looks to be Agnes' sleeping area. Yes, that's a mess. Thank you. And I'm all right by the way,

mother just gets a little bit protective of me. Oh yeah, we wanted to ask you, how are you feeling better? Yeah, you look at Agnes, you see, she's got some like bandages on her scales and stuff, but she's fine. You know, she's got some like bandages on her scales and stuff, but she's fine. You know, she got herself a long rest. She looks okay. Why is the Queen so protective of you?

Well, I suppose my mother is protective of all of her children, but where are the only ones who get in trouble all the time? By going out to the hospital. You're the wild child. I'm a bit of a wild child. It's a good girl. It's a rebel. Yeah, you know what, you have that energy. Okay. Okay.

I see she goes over and sits in the bowl. So what do people do to party down here? Well, there's some pretty sick bars. Really? Yeah, there's a place called the Whispering Drake. They've got like all kind of, they've got ill, they've got this thing called Crick water which will fuck you right up call their whistles for the dragon elf Yeah, we can we can head out there it might be easier to talk there. Yeah, let's do it

You need to put on like a disguise or something? No, whatever I'm already grounded. How can I get more grounded while Wild children over here. What's the drinking age here? 45, 45, where is the drinking age is 33. Amazing. How old are you, Kaza? Nine. I'm 65. You're nine. You are not nine.

Fine, eight and a half more It's the funniest age for frog to be I think 29 29's pretty good. Yeah, just you just got act cool. Okay. All right. All right. Just act chill You see igneous and Elzor pop up keeps the automatic loot loot playing. As they fly out, you guys fly out on these dragon elves that you have borrowed. I think Saul is actually going to Spider-Man with his tone. Yeah, you swing along with your tongue. Yeah.

And you find a musty old tavern, lit dimly by some green fairy-fire lanterns outside that, as you walk in, you see they kind of shine through and give the area a little bit of a glow. Not only are there those lights, but there's mykinid patrons and servers who glow with bioluminescent lights. You see there's a large blue mykinid tending bar and you see Elzor nods and goes blooper and the giant mushroom goes Sneaking away from the castle again, printx.

Yeah, you know me, you know how I do. You see that, all of these buildings are like super wide and their ceilings are pretty high because they do have dragons in them. You see that, they're smoke, it's like a very smoky tavern, but not because people are smoking because there are dragon's in here, they're not vaping.

Okay. And like steam is coming out of their nostrils. Very smoky tavern, but not because people are smoking because there are vaguers. They're vaguers. They're vaguers. They're not vaguers. And like steam is coming out of their nostrils. So igneous and Ellsor are coming here with you guys. Ellsor goes and orders a drink, gets a crick water, and gets one for igneous, and they go and pull up at a table. You guys can get whatever you want. When in the cave, do what the caverns do. Yeah, I could use a stiff drink after today.

Yeah. Sweet, yeah. Bluebird pours you guys some quick water. I take a sip. You take a sip, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. 18. 18.

18. You handle your shirt pretty good, but as soon as you go to drink it, the fumes hate you so hard that you already start to feel drunk Do not even have to drink this I take a sip. You take a sip go ahead and give me a concert girl 19 19 Cali you handle your shit same thing Solls a little cautious and he can drink through his skin. So he's just gonna put his finger in Okay, give me a constitution, take me there with advantage.

Oh nice. 17, 17. You guys are handling it like chairs. Yeah, heavy weights. His feels right. Yeah. Yeah, you see, as you guys take your sips and dip your fingers in and huff it,

Bluebird goes, yeah, the before the void elves were the void elves, they lived at a place called the Crick and the Crick's waters were famous for having hallucinogenic properties. And run. I see three mushrooms talking to you. Yay, didn't hit you yet, buddy.

Anyway, we've been able to recreate it here. Oh, wow. I'm gonna make a bit, I'm gonna try and make a bit of mint to accent it. Ooh, sweet. So I picked just a nice mint tree. Oh. Ah.

Go ahead and give me a performance check. 15. You make a sound like a toddler shooting their pants. Ah. And, go to the bathroom. A couple little mint leaves. That don't look super healthy, but you're on your way there.

Come to your hand. Let me muddle those for you. Saul activates his gauntlets and punches the sweet. I'm called to get these glasses nice and frosty. We're having mojitas, yeah. Yeah, we are. Sweet, you guys frost up your glasses, you join Elzor and Agnes at the the table. So, what's next for you guys?

So, we're um... We have to figure out how we're going to surprise the green elves? Yeah, um... They've got something that we need, and apparently two more of something exists somewhere in the world. Yeah, I guess maybe we need to find an audience with the void elves because they're the ones that are being impersonated Maybe they'll have more of a dog in the fight happening above. Yeah, and if they've got more of this crick water I'm gonna need some soul drinks and you see like fumes come out of the skin

Your vent is venting Do you have any idea how to reach out to Void Alves? No, I think they kind of generally are seen when they want to be seen and aren't seen when they don't want to be seen. Do you have any idea of who could be our allies in this situation? Well, we are not in a choice position right now. Well, if you need to head down south to try to deal with the green elves, there is my Uncle Shroomrot, who there are more deep elves to the south. Everyone's name here is really awesome. Uncle Shroomrot.

Uncle Shroomrot. My Uncle Shroomrot, yes, I... He and my mother don't get along very well. She doesn't really trust him, but I think he's pretty cool. All right, if you think he's cool. Yeah, would you give us an introduction? Yeah, I could get you down to my uncle's lair. There's several ways we can do it.

We can either travel through the woods. It's quite far away. There's also a fungal network that we could travel through under the ground, but it's quite dangerous. Oh, that sounds really fun. Yeah, more into it, maybe the Cric Water Talking, but I'm into the dangerous. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. How does that work? I kind of like, highway to the dangerous zone. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to know. So essentially, there's a giant network of fungus under the living wood. It's been burned away by some people who don't want the mushrooms near their layers

or don't want the deep elf sneaking around under them. So a lot of the blue layers, a lot of the green layers, you're not gonna be able to get to. But I visited Michael Schrumrat through there before. In fact, I've run away to there several times. All right. Well, let's run away there again. One more again, yeah.

Wanda, if we just use the summit as a chance to just steal from the greenhouse. Yeah. I mean, no one we've talked to has said, yeah, Glen fears walking around with a fucking egg showing it off, which makes me think that he's not got it on his person, which makes me think that the summit could be a chance for us to just go steep.

Well, the leaders will be away, but I have to imagine that like the egg would be guarded back at their base, so we can hopefully catch him by surprise. Or that might be the moment that they reveal the egg to everybody. Oh, soccia absolutely fucking right. There's also the Ruby scale is not around anymore to burn the fungus in that area We could also get to their old lair and thus the summit So we can go early to the summit that's enough haste Okay, okay, okay say that that area is like haunted

What does that mean? Yeah, like you don't think it's, it's not really on it, is it? Well, like does a ghost dragon hunting? Like people don't hunt around there. No, I think it's less literal. It's more like sacrilegious to be there. Indeed. A mushroom told me about sacrilegious. Yes, you see.

I have another fucking pamphlet in my back pocket. You see, he's drink water on a nearby table We have the pamphlet You know you don't need that stuff to be happy We'll read the pamphlet on our own time. I think a huge spiteful swing. When did you put on a tie? All right Yes, it's more just sacrilegious right Um, yes, it's more just sacrilegious. Right. So, is there time to do both meet-room-rot and get to the red layer?

Yeah. Yes, I think it would be possible to do both. Okay. Is it possible to do both those things and sleep in our nest for the night? The traveling through the network is quite quick. All right. Okay. I think that's what we want to do then.

Okay. Yeah, that sounds great. It's all having trouble modulating because of the quick rot. Through the quick water. Ha, ha, ha. All right. I'm going to go up to the mushroom. Hey, there's a bunch of holes in your pamphlet here.

Ha, ha, ha. I just don't understand a few things. Ha, ha, ha. No, you're going to engage him at a conversation. Well, that's the thing. You just have to have faith. Ha, ha, ha. And then the mushroom sits there and has a really long talk. I see Calder is cornered all night.

This was a dumb way to get a free drink. I take out my birdpeps, I definitely want a jam with Elzor. Sweet Elzor pulls out, does have another loot that's not like a magic one and plays along with you. Weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap weap thinking with Elzor. Oh, that's great, yeah. Okay. Also, are there any places to get clothing around here? I could use boots. I'm still wearing what's wrong with your boots. I'm, well, they're slippers. Yeah.

Which I love. And a monogram. I love them. Call her I'm barefoot. I don't understand what the problem is. Yes, you're right. Never mind. Yeah, I called her, I'll say that you can find some boots.

And the good news is I already have socks. So, yeah, you've heard them all together. If we're at a place, I think like, can I pretend like I'm trying something on and go into the fitting room? Yeah, I think you find like a deep elf tailor and you go in and you being a shopping. I think I'm like this, I think I like go into the fitting room and pretend like I'm like,

I like grab something that's like just like a track jacket. I'm like I'm trying it on. Shoplifting. Yeah. And then I think when I go in there, I'm like, I have this dress that like, glen-like that I grabbed from the bell free and I like take it out and I try it on.

And it's like, it just doesn't even fit anymore. Like my shoulders have become a bit too broad for it. And I think I just like stare in the mirror and I'm just like, I fucking hate this dress. I like brought it because I was gonna wear it when I saw him. So everything's been going so fast and I think like I finally have a moment to realize that I've just completely outgrown this. And then I think I just want to try and sell it to them. Hey, do you buy second hand? Um, yeah, I suppose so. Consignment? Yeah, this is, oh, this is strange. Normally we just gray cloaks and fungi and things like that. So this could catch a decent price.

Yeah, it's like imported. It's from the Feywild. Very exotic. Very interesting. Yeah, so just, I don't know. What would this fetch for you? Give me a persuasion check. 23. Well, looks like it's a fine silk dress. Why don't we say, 10 gold? Yeah.

All right, I'll take the 10 gold. Now I'm like, we've got 10 gold more to buy. Pouching's way. All right. Are you gonna buy the track jacket or do you fit her? Yeah, actually. I try on the track jacket. I'm like, yeah, this looks really good.

How much for the track jacket? Damn, gonna be 10 gold. Ah! Do you have any other track jacket? Hold on, wait, yeah, do you have like a three-magic track jacket? Yeah, I'm a five-track jacket, yeah. Okay, we all need track jackets. Yeah, do you have one in medium?

Um, well, it looks at you. Yes? Oh, did it. I see Kolda puts on the tightest track. Saul shows an im into a large tag. This is perfect. There's one last thing Saul would like to do. That's great. Is there like a stationary store around?

Sure, yeah. Saul buys a scroll or a notebook or a journal of some sort. Oh, I got to send something to a crewman. And starts writing the tale of Foster and his friends, thinking back to what Alpen said and realizing that this has been a pretty wild ride. Somebody should probably record some of it. Wow, I see you writing and it reminds me. I've been making a mental note to send postcards to Krugin from everywhere I got

Oh, I look for I look for whatever this area is called yeah, you find like a little A little bot. A stationary store called The stationary store is called Shroom for improvement. Shroom for improvement. Yeah It's also a self-help store. Let's see, there's a really stern mushroom pointing at you and says, in fact, your life with scores. That seems like adjacent to the Christ thing. And then I just write a crew gun a note

that just says, dear crew gun, we all got matching track jackets, love colloy of it. Sweet. Yeah, you give it to a messenger drake here. Right. All right, I'm ready to sleep now then. Absolutely. Sweet, we've got our new pajamas.

Yeah, you guys are a little buzzed after having had some crick water out at the tap right here. Can we junkenly buy track jackets? No way. I think so. We regret we forget this in the morning. No way. You know what, Saul? So it into my skin, because I never want to wear anything else. I'll freaking do it. Everyone, it's like a tattoo, okay,

I know you haven't had crick water before, but you just, you don't want to commit to anything super orange. I'm on the roof. I'm sure it's screaming right now. Is it just me or is my song lyric tattoo turning into vines? Or is it the Cric Wines? That's definitely your vines. You got vines. Your veins are dents.

Your veins are vines. My veins are vines. Your veins are vines. Yeah, I'll say as Saul is kind of scribbling in his notebook, like writing kind of some of the sights and kind of the things you guys have seen, you guys are all kind of laughing and having fun.

And Callie, after having given away this dress, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of a window and see that the rain has stopped and there are little buds of flowers in your hair I the vines are spreading the vines are spreading get them off me. I Think I'm also I think I'm also since I'm pretty fucked up from Creekwater I'm like trying to get called her to drug dial the giant

You should talk to ultra-signal. Yeah, holdy. He talks so much about like the same thing Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Triss! Triss, you are? Triss, this is how you want to do this. Ah! God damn, I'm gonna wake up and want to forget that I did this. Um, I'm really fucked up, Triss. Alright, I'm gone. I don't even know where I called you. You guys see, as called her drunk dials, is Cursthelm. You, oh, oh, oh. And as you guys go to catch him, kind of in slow motion, called her, you kind of get tunnel

vision and then everything goes black. And then you wake up and you no longer feel drunk. You're present, like you're in a dream, you're on an icy plane. It looks like the frigid north, but there's no buildings here, you're not near Frostwind, you're not near your village. There's not even any lakes or mountains, just an endless plane of ice. Every once in a while cold wind kicks up some frost as it blows through you and gives you a chill in your bones.

And as you are navigating this icy plane, you see suddenly you are stopped by this force field that pops up. This giant arcane barrier that gives everything on the other side a purple hue. It looks a little bit like the Esri bubble, just this like force cage, and just makes everything on the other side a little bit blurry. And you see one of the things on the other side is a huge frost giant, about 30 feet tall. This giant warrior with a huge axe and patchwork armor, long gray hair and a white beard has the

heads of smaller humanoids and other giants on his belt. You see he wears a polar bear pelt cape. His helm is missing. Just matted gray hair on top of his head. And you see he leans down on the other side of the barrier to face you face to face and goes, Earth. The strong survive out here, things are what they're meant to be. The tiny ones, they are weak. They build up their cities because they are small. Are you small, colder? I've always considered myself medium-build. Peace has softened you, softened the giants. I think you're brave and you're strong. That's good. But but just because you're big

doesn't make everybody else small. Oh, there are some who have stood taller than me. It is true, but they are a lot shorter when their heads leave their shoulders. order when their heads leave their shoulders. You see gestures to some of the heads on his belt. Doesn't that smell? Yeah, it smells awful, but you get this to it. What you're facing, it is not unlike war, and then war, you take allies where you can get them and when the fighting's over then you can look at each other and decide if you're really friends. What do you know about this war? What do you know about this egg? This egg?

I know nothing of this egg but I know of strength and steel and battle and glory. And to get this egg back, I think you're going to need some of that. I might, and I might look to you, but maybe I'll be able to find those things somewhere else too. Ugh... I'm not going to wait around for you, Coddor. Why do I have to do that, fuck boy? What do you think? I just want to test out my options.

See... I just want to test out my options. See, holds his hand up to the force cage. You want to protect your people. I want them to roll the world. Our motives align in part. You want to protect our people at the expense of others. I want to protect my people where they are. Do you see these heads at my belt, Calder? We already spoke of them. Yes. And we spoke of how bad they stay. Basically, I level for right. One of these is my father. Jesus ways.

Yeah. Serious Jesus ways. That's crazy, man. Yeah. That's absolutely not. I don't bring that up for no reason. Yeah. I bring that up because my father once loaded over me.

And when the time came and I became stronger than him I killed him and Became the warlord that I am now If you should be able to conquer me if what you're saying That you can find it somewhere else Somewhere without the great Ultras Then you could put my head on your tiny belt. But until then, I do not want to just sit here in the fucking snow. Okay, let me just talk to my friends about all of this.

No, no, no, no, no. I... Look, I just checked a book out of the library. Yeah. I needed... I needed peruse it. Well, you said I was only able to skim it before we jotted. Right. But then you got drunk and you said, I said, do you want to do this now?

Yeah. You said, yeah. I was like, no, I was so far out when I said that. Yeah. Okay. All right. I might regret this in the morning, but... I will accept your help and your power. And I accept you a challenge.

All right, dog, let's do this. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. All right, dog, let's do this. That's it. That's it. You hold up your hands to meet his. I do. You touch it against the Force Cage. I get in theaters, kids squeeze.

You go to give it a theater kids squeeze and then there's like a little bit of a glitch out and you find yourself on the other side of the Force Cage, but then you quickly are back where you were and you wake up with everybody else. Wake up, wake up, wake up! Ow, man! Are we waking up in the next, in the nest to the next morning? Did you think you carried him all the way back?

I feel like, yeah. You know, I'm gonna wake up in the nest to the next morning. I was tranceing, so I'm like, I've got a little breakfast going, and I'm like, wow, that grateful. I was transiting, so I'm like, I've got like a little breakfast going, and I'm like, wow, that crick-a-wah, I was strong. Damn, guys, thanks for taking my shoes off. That was solid. Do you know that?

You're left your socks on though. Yeah. We actually, we took them off and then lost the shoes. Oh, did I? I was renew. Ha, ha, ha. I think I'm making like a mushroom tea. I'm making a chag a mushroom tea. A little chag a chino, yeah.

Are you good man? You just like passed out and we like heard you mumbling. Yeah, tell you, I, no regret for the track jacket. So that's good. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no regrets. You see that saw has soed mine into me. Ha, ha, ha.

That stitching looks infected. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. I wrote mine into me. That stitching looks infected. The voice in my head, you know the voice of Ultras, United the Giant, is the giant that tried to come. Back guy. So, when I drunk dialed him last night, we added a conversation and I accepted it is power. Okay. All right. Yeah. He's got to like on our team now, I think.

Wow. I don't know if it's a good thing. Can I remove the helmet now that I see it? You actually can remove the helmet now. Okay. Can I remove the helmet, sort of projected out into the room and see if Ultras can talk to everybody. You don't feel like you can really command Ultras with it,

but as you hold it at your side and you feel more comfortable with it, you feel yourself properly attuned to it, not being forced against your will to wear it. And this helmet had already given you plus one to your armor class, but it also has a number of abilities. There's strength of Ultras. Before you make an attack roll,

saving throw or ability check, you can harness the strength of Ultras for a surge of power. Your strength becomes 25, and you can add an additional D12 to your weapon damage for that attack. Oh my God! Oh my God! Each time you do this, you add a charge to the helm.

If you do it after you make an attack roll or saving throw, the number of charges is doubled. You also have the resolve of Ultras. If an attack brings you to zero hit points, you can harness the strength of Ultras to remain at one hit point. Each time you do this, you add two charges to the helm. The number of charges required doubles each time you use

the ability before resetting on a long rest. You also have giant leadership. As a bonus action, you may gain one charge on the helm to command an ally you can see within 30 feet to make an attack with a reaction. The next time you take a long rest, Ultras will try to conquer your mind. The DC to resist is a con save eight plus the number of charges. The charges clear after a long rest. Oh, that's the deal. Call it, I think this is awesome. Great. As long as you guys, you know when we go to sleep, just, you know, fingers crossed,

I don't get dominion. Yeah, absolutely. I think we'll just have to like beat the shit out of you every night before we go to bed to like soften you up a little bit. Oh, okay. Is that how it'll work? Yeah, I think we'll just have to like beat the shit out of you every night before we go to bed to like soften you up a little bit Oh, okay. Is that how to work? Yeah, I think so. That's what we're gonna have to do. Yeah, fortunately. All right. I think Calder I think that you've done something brave and I think that you are gonna fucking best this guy This is gonna be the helm of Calderilday when you're done with it. Damn, Calda, I'd be really, you always know what I need to hear. You razz me when it doesn't

matter, put your ear for me when it counts. Yeah. Arraz Berry. Yes. Calder, you get kind of the sense from what Cali has just said, what Ultrasus was saying, and kind of holding this helm, does look remarkably like the helm that you were in that you grew up wearing. You get the sense that you could eventually conquer this dude and this you could have all the power of it without him. But it comes at a great risk. Alright. It's gonna be, it's gonna be a battle. It'll be a marathon.

This won't be the first time that you've overcome the magic of someone else to make it your own. You've got this. Thanks, Saul. Okay, let's see, breakfast. I'm at a real-life reception. Oh, my goodness. Oh, here it goes.

So it's a good thing that I said that we dragged him home. Otherwise, he would have had to already do a save against Ultras. Oh, goodness. Oh, so it's a good thing that I said that we dragged him home. Otherwise, he would have had to already do a save against Ultras. Oh, that's true. Well, he didn't use any charges. Oh yeah. It's kind of whenever you tap into it. It's basically, it's just a plus one helm

unless you tap into it. So basically, you want to either strategically be like, cool, I can definitely get this amount of con saves. So we're cool to just be free-wheeling with that. And then in some extreme circumstances, I might be like, hey, I gotta risk my life here. I just gotta do that. This is tight.

Can't wait to shower you with roses. Yeah. I definitely, that's why I was like, he's gotta find out what's going on with the hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, glad we're doing it. This is better than keeping it in the ice. So glad we finally got a cursed freaking item in the show. Yeah

Sweet guys. Thank you all so much for listening. I can listen to what's talked more about this over on our short rest That's patreon.com slash an ad pod. That's any DDP OD. Don't sing. Yeah Don't do it. Does anybody have anything they like to plug plug? Yeah, let's plug our Instagram and our live show. Follow the Instagram so you can find out about the live shows. But we have live shows in Toronto, New York, and Vancouver, all coming up towards the end of the summer. Yeah, check them out there. If not sold out, some of them are sold out.

And we've got a couple more come in before 2022. Yeah. Oh yeah. So you didn't stuff on the horizon. I'm going to re-plug someone that sent us stuff a while ago. There was a place called Skuddle but soap code. And I've recently gotten back into bar soap and discovered it in a drawer. And if there's the two crew one is really spicy and nice.

I don't know. I don't think that they ever sold this. They just made it for us and sent it. And it's all like themed. It's really nice. And you're just, you're just eating this soap? Yeah. Yeah, but what else do you do with it?

Why not? I sawtay it up and eat it with a fork and a knife. Oh, you have to have a pot. It's a butter alternative. Exactly. A better butter. A better butter. So a better butter.

Ha ha ha. Ask anyone. I would love to plug our PO box if that's okay. Of course. All right, here we go folks. It's 1920 Hillers Avenue. Number 222, Los Fiz, California 900027, please send us some stuff,

stuff like Jeremy and Chrisburg, who sent us some more duck dice, we are flush with duck dice. Thank you for that, but also sending them. Don't stop sending them, because we- They're all getting used,

or some of them get tossed into the audiences at live shows. There you go. You might receive a duck. Alex E sent us some homemade dungeon court gavils. The you go. You might receive a duck. Alex E sent us some homemade dungeon court gavils. The hammers have a dice with a two and a 20 carved on either side. Check out hornleaf.com to see more of Alex's work.

Thank you very much. I love banging a gavil and attempting to ruin the audio of every db-court session we do. Let's see. Amber C sent us each transparent dice with stuff inside, minus frogs, Emily's, of course, as ducks. Jake's has polar bears and horses shield. Rollin' them tonight. It's great. I would prefer just all ducks. I want to really just like get like a full goblet of duck dives

but I don't take the frogs. Let's see, Keith Kay sent us another treasure trove of anime goodies and also some of their personal dice, including a black set that nearly T.P. Kade the party while Keith was de-imming. Oh wow. Wow. If Keith your hands off of food. Give me him. Let's see, O'Cowl sent us lovely notes, incredibly cool diceholder shaped like daggers, and also a puzzle of a cartoon frog playing golf while taking a shit.

Whoa. Extremely weird, but also delightful. Thank you, Kyle. I got a couple more Tasha Cs and some loose leaf teas and D20 reusable tea bags. Wow, oh, cute. Oh, they also sent Emily a book about fermentation. I'm imagining for alcohol or something like that.

Oh, you could also ferment. Or kombucha. Sour dos, you could ferment kombucha. You can ferment just about anything. Yeah. Go nuts. Thank you so much, Tasha, and happy belated birthday to John Carlo. And last plug.

Oh, this is a good one. Kenny sent us a Mr. Toad enamel pin. Oh my God. Oh, no. So now we can always admire our favorite idol rich amphibian. Thank you dearly, Kenny, you are a true badger. Thank you. So now we can always admire our favorite idol rich amphibian. Thank you dearly, Kenny, you are a true badger. Sweet guys, and with that, you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use at CHMRSME at Caldys Caldwell, Adi AstroZemily, and at Trick or Tzus Jake, and you can tweet about the

show using hashtag nag pod that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are, we are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are the youth of the nation. Well well well. It's time to thank our benevolent Council of Elders starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hussi, later McSkater, Matt M. Jordan D.J. Cutter W. Daniel G. Dylan B. Who is missing his own D&D game to see NAD pod live in LA. Hell yeah, I hope it was a good time. Dugin, Dungeon Mama, Daniel the Dastardly Dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P. Michael McDee, Vincent W. Miss Ture Cole, Victor T. Balmmer's Boy forever, Dominic Persson, Andrew B. Justin I.

Ragnar Faredwin, TJ M. Trayle, the Crafe Bay, Jared E. Christopher B. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, the head chef at a little place called Monja's, Richard X Machina, Michael L. Taylor S. Callum L. Jack L. Sam L. Nicholas C. Thaddeus Maximus King of the Boob's Mike H. Martin P. Matthew E. Way cooler than Angry Wheat. Adam G. Tyler F. Panama James Andrew the Bard. Nope, sorry, just Andrew the Druid here. I started vaping because Duck Team made it cool. Captain sigil. Diana DSL. Lulu Michelle O Hericule Poirot the Rapid Folk Detective Timmy R. Croc Ahollic Lucas B. Raiko It's Kevin Calder's Cold Cumb Hashtag Rise My Cumb Reds Spread the Cumb Rotary Happy Birthday 8-bit guests Wow thank you so much for that. New York, Taylor B, the vengeful, one-winged angel.

Cass, skateboard cast, Steven C, Michael M, Mike K, Lady T, Joy T, Nara, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger. As may M, mutton the mad, the mad druid, it has been trying to undo his friend who has been stuck as a polymorphed sheep for three weeks, foster the boneless duck, air in the asshole ranger, big bad beard of the mad, Eric McD, giant monsters on the horizon, Percival, Frederickstein, Von Mussel, Kloewski, D.Rolo, the third.

Christian A. J. Dragonborn, Joe Roe, the inner propo, Liam D. The Sandrayon, Ben A. Feldonis, John III. Dave H. Vivian, Koala Bear, Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye P. Bookvars, Assistant Izzy F. Wood L. Theron, who is desperately trying to fix his oath bow. Good luck with that bud. Blair the Bug Blair Bar Blarion. Kat C Kelsey J. Pork Chop Ariel the occasional mermaid. Selina N. AKA the Lacey Raptor. Minette is evolving into Gerados.

Oh my God, we are all gonna die. Pat L, a truth at A. Lauren H. Ryan S. The Bone Duster, the charming fluff. Robert Crisp, Telekitty Creations, Fan Illustrator, Insert, Request. Let's do the statue of Saldor Bill Day, the ice sculpture. There you go, Godspeed. Ploups, Carly A. Addy K. AP, Cleric, Laurie P. Those who love and give where they can. Sp can, spam gaming the birthday boy wish me luck with my first hangover what should I get for my first drink.

First drink, let's go whiskey soda. You know, keep it nice and not too alcoholic. Double the soda there. Grant L. Conor Savage, Christopher J. Pebblepot, how do you get a D&D player to go out with you? You ask them for a D8. A date. Get it? So, Leo Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dexterous, Foster's Feathery Faye, Finish, now try to say that 10 times fast, I will not. Pixel, Stars, Akash T, Kristen with K, Cal just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison N, Russell H, Zero Parity, Nioz the novice

monster hunter. My new friend Simon, he was sad, an old friend had forgotten him, but we cheered ourselves up by singing one big bed together. Lorelye Frost, Morgan M. Apeeling, Sticker, oh my goodness, I hate to see it. Steven E. Meg the male carrier of Bahumia James F. Jimmy A. Capon Capi M4L. Wayfarer currently in a trademark dispute with mothership over the patent on the SS Storm Bjorn. Andrew B. Copefresh.

Barpo Good Barrel. Bard Barian and Brewer Emeritus of Waterdeep. Welsh Lander. Garrett G. One Big Curred. Eric M. Mr. D. Sean J. Mr. Sillyhead. Ethan B. Monster Captain Renee S. Hoops Dagger, the only dagger of hope. Olivia, the enchanting bard who will totally be making money off the duck team tails with an on the go. All the stops show. Blue Slade, the Artificer. Michaela R. Riley S. Sir sig 93. FICO, Angry Wheat, Tony G. Corbos, Calamadus,

Comshot, Hashtag, CCC, Forever, Sorry Jake, it's totally fine. Josh H. Jack, the Jack's, Jinxing Rogue, and search of Bohumia's biggest balls. Mango, Empanadas, Corey B. Rented Views, Mystical Mustalioada, Tragedore the Burninator, Clementine T. Ezra of the Crick, Caleb, L.S. Obey, Kwan, Simone, Bird Life, M, and of course, Pixie. Thank you all. was a hitgun podcast.