Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 18: Shroomrot (The Dragon Elf Chronicles)

Episode Date: August 26, 2022

Duck Team seeks another ally in the fight against Glen! Calder takes a lead role, Sol gets upstaged, and Callie fights to resist old habits. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get... access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."Tundra Trudge" by Emily Axford."The Fairy" by Emily Axford."Tarragon" by Emily Axford."Secret Basement" by Emily Axford."Court of the Boy King" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford."Zelbuldar" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford."Mindflayer's Lair" by Emily Axford."Into the Fire" by Emily Axford."Lilith Latrix" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.
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Starting point is 00:01:15 so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code PAAW-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing! Bahumya! I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwits. Wandering the realm with the curse on his helm. Called her killer. Ooh! Okay. That's poetic, thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:55 And of course, Emily Axford. Ready to whack it in my truck, Jacket! Whacket? Yeah, like Jacko. Ha ha ha! All right. I thought you were going to justify it by saying whacked stuff with your sword, but... Wackens? Yeah, like Jacko. All right. I thought you were going to justify it by saying
Starting point is 00:02:07 Wack's stuff with your sword, but okay. Now, Queen Umberspore has put us up. I'm sure there's a couple bathrooms. Yeah, no, you can whack it in the castle, certainly. That, of course, called Old Tanner. Wearing a jacket for the track, got a friend who likes to crack. And also, here's a fact, Frog Frogs bones form a new ring each year and scientists can count these rings to find their age. You need to be able to find out how old the
Starting point is 00:02:32 frog is. Crags, open hands, ancient siblings. Sweet, guys, let's get into a little recap so we can remember that Queen Umbersport specifically said no whack in it in the castle We have so much Greek water. We forgot the water Try out the pillow Yeah, what about just like crossing your legs and pulsing So graphic Alright hello new listeners Oh, graphic. Hello.
Starting point is 00:03:02 All right. Hello new listeners. The last time you guys spoke to Queen Umberspour about the conspiracies unfolding in the living wood, fake void elf attacks, secret summits behind the king's back, and of course the mysterious egg. After a nudge from Foster, Kelly brought up the wild, which jogged the Queen's memory. She recalled a story about Oberon the Green Lord, an arch-fei who existed before the taming of the fei wild and the introduction of the courts.
Starting point is 00:03:37 You set off to the library to research him and encountered a giant infected spider guarding the books in the restricted section. You were able to eventually subdue her and were able to find the story of Oberon in a book called Serpents and Such. There, you learned of a prophecy, Oberon detested what his people were doing to the land. So he shot three eggs deep into the earth. If the Faye should reap the land too much of its magic, the eggs would surface and expand, birthing three serpents that would take the land back to the wild. Kelly quickly surmised that this could very well be her family's doing accidentally or
Starting point is 00:04:22 otherwise. After gathering the info, you checked in on Elzor at the castle and learned that they had snuck out. Elzor then invited you on a second sneak out to a nearby watering hole and there you imbibed in some crick water. Before things got too hazy, you talked to Elzor about some possible next moves and they offered a possible ally, their uncle Schrumrott, the Queen's brother who lives to the south with a small enclave that has more direct dealings with other dragon elf factions.
Starting point is 00:04:55 With the secret green elf summit, just two days away, Elzor offered a quicker mode of transportation, a dangerous fungal network that can let travelers pass underground quickly. You made plans to explore it before bonding for the rest of the night. And then things started to get very hazy. A trip to a tailor and a stationary store later called Drunk Diled his helm and was brought to a strange plane that resembled the frigid north. There, he was confronted by the giant warlord Ultras, who once again offered his power. After some indecision, Ultras posited that if
Starting point is 00:05:32 Calder was strong enough without the giant's power, that he'd be able to conquer him eventually, Calder acquiesced and took the deal, suddenly waking up in the castle guest quarters with the rest of the party. He revealed to you the nature of his helm and learned of all the boons. It would offer him, you made plans to make breakfast, and that's where we are now. So you guys are all on this guest room. You've just called, called, there's just woken up in a, in a cold sweat.
Starting point is 00:06:00 Uh, Saul is over in the kitchen just making so many eggs. And he's making a, uh, Julie child style, like really shaking the kitchen just making so many eggs. And he's making a Julie child style, like really shaking the pan with a lot of butter. Kaliope is just like talking about how she's gonna do the dishes a bunch. So she's just an after-contribute to the cooking. She's super overselling it. Absolutely, I'm just gonna do the dishes. We all have our own contributions.
Starting point is 00:06:20 This is my breakfast, especially eggs and more eggs. I never really learned how to cook and Albin was not picky, so I hope you like eggs. I love eggs and I love to clean, so I'll put the cleaning. I'm a big clean. By the way, was there an earthquake last night or was that you, Callie? I stare at the wind. You guys suddenly hear a knock at the door.
Starting point is 00:06:46 And a voice on the other side goes, the breakfast through the gas. Oh, great. I just don't say yes to anything he asks. The door opens up and you see this red mycanid. About three feet tall, semi-translucent, bouncing in, carrying a tray full of smoked sausages, eggs, mushroom caps,
Starting point is 00:07:07 a little side salad, some fruit, a big pot of coffee. Fuck, this looks really good. It's great! Oh, right, you were making your own breakfast! I get salt, and I try and get a rid of it. It's going to be insulting to him if I eat this. I can't be insulting to him if we just eat the sausage, right? Because he only made eggs.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Saul stands next to the mic and then kind of starts nudging him to the side. Whoa, hey buddy, well look, we don't make eggs, but mine look better. I mean, that's the opinion. If we eat the mic and its eggs, we'd often do the dishes. I wasn't going to do them anyway. Can I just like pretend like I'm running over just a sauce, but knock the mic in its tray onto sauce. Oh no, they were all messed up. I got mixed together.
Starting point is 00:07:58 I'm from luckily mine are perfectly over hard eggs that should be easy to separate from whatever you did. Guess my ex can serve as a pillow for the rest of the Try my back. Now. That's what I call scrambled eggs What you guys get up to last night We all we all at erotic dreams Erotic dreams yeah, erotic dreams. Yeah, erotic dreams. Nobody jacked off of the castle, right? We didn't act on them.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Okay, cool. Yeah, we all just pined and yearned. Good. So you guys just kind of went to the library and then just came back and went to bed. Who are you? My name's Gibbons. I take some of Calder's money to tip him.
Starting point is 00:08:47 I bet. Can I do an insight check on Gibbons? Yeah. 18 on the die. That becomes the 19. Gibbons is prying, trying to find out probably for the queen to see if Elzor snuck out last night. You see, yeah, when you guys wake up after this kind of hazy night,
Starting point is 00:09:06 Elzor is not in the room with you, you can assume they went back to the room room. Okay, can I press the digitation, the stale scent of a room that people have been hanging hanging out in for too long? Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, wow.
Starting point is 00:09:21 You guys didn't use the washroom or anything. Yeah. We all used it. We were scared of what would happen if we went in. Well, enjoy the scrambule eggs. All right, man. You're a big boy, Tate. You're a big guy.
Starting point is 00:09:38 I don't get it. Because why? Because you combined our equally good eggs. I didn't do anything. Yeah, he was, it was her. She was literally not big together. I think. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:52 You know what, actually, while you're here, um, I have this tricky problem up in trying to solve. Okay. And I lead him toward the dirty dishes in the kitchen. Oh, yeah. I suppose I could clean up the dishes. So, just hanging around the place last night. I feel like the dishes are more stale for the kids. Yes, you were.
Starting point is 00:10:17 They're cleaning the dishes, doing some light spying on you guys. As the door is kind of cracked and this mushroom is doing Cali's dishes, go ahead and everybody give me perception checks. As you start to cure a little bit of a- That's why! Yes! But so maybe I knew it was gonna be when I threw it. I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:10:40 I didn't know I rolled, but you got a 14. I'm gonna see if I also get a nat 20. You get two nat 20s that's a nat one Wow So you are incredible so you are just staring dad yours and Kelly You know what she's done just watching them fill their fucking faces with sausages Man you made an objective really crazy reason that's a really bad for you They're gonna weigh you down. Here's his all eggs and butter It's mostly butter. It's fluffy. It's what it is. It's too fluffy
Starting point is 00:11:16 By the way, you didn't know it's way too many dishes in there for just eggs Yeah It feels like every time you have to measure something, you use the different spoons. I love to spread out when I cook, okay? The process. He did the cheese and one little bowl, and then the eggs and the different little bowl,
Starting point is 00:11:33 then he put more eggs and a different bowl. I like to have a little stations. All right. I am gonna real quick just like make some chives and use my luck blade to chop them over all the various breakfast goods. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Callie, I can make this all cold if we want. Please though. Callie, with that nat 20 and callie, you hear most of this too. You guys hear lumbering steps coming from down the hallway and Callie, you innately just feel that this is Queen Umbersport. This is a massive dragon down the hall. But you hear that she's talking to someone and she's talking in a low voice but there's
Starting point is 00:12:16 a little bit of an echo just because they're in these big hallways and you hear her say, have we heard back from my brother? You hear another voice go, no miss, the message went out last night, but no response and the messenger hasn't come back either. She goes, that's troubling. Send another, demand a prompt response. Yes, your highness. and you hear them walking down a parallel hallway. Okay so that's about Uncle Shroom. Right. Which we were trying to go visit with him anyway. I wonder what the messages. Yeah. Interesting. Maybe we can deliver it. Yeah. That's a great idea. Love that. Yeah, we should. She's given us safe shelter, and we can offer it, although then I'd have to admit that I was spying on them.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Right. Well, we can just go, we can play it cool. We can go and be like, hey, we're headed out. Is there anything we can do for you? You know, like, we're just gonna explore the rest of the deep elves kingdom and see what all there is to see. If there's any task we can perform for you.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Yeah, or, I mean mean we could just say that we heard about Uncle Schroomrot other ways. Right. About town. Yeah. Oh yeah, we see Gibbons leans in. How'd you hear about Schroomrot? One of the spiders talked to my fucking ear off. The interesting goes back to really just working on one plate. I made more. I make more You guys
Starting point is 00:13:51 Crack a window at least we got these balconies out here feel free to go out. Yeah, we are wet sleepers Goes back starts whistling. I'm so too loud to hear you guys Yeah, I think that seems like a good plan, right? Yeah, yeah, we could try that. Do we have anything else that we need to do here? I don't think so. Okay. Okay, well, call the heart you feeling.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Do you want to like, you know, do any special breathing exercises to get your head right? I feel, call the checks in on himself. It feels normal, It feels fine. You feel more powerful. I feel good right now. I think if I use this helmet, I might need some support kind of at the end of the day. I'm really supportive. Can you hear me when I talk to you? Does he hear? Um, let's let me start.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Yes, I don't want this to be like a thing though. Yes, I can hear. I'll just can hear you. I don't really don't want to get delighted about it. And in no way, in my life. Being in like a fight or something. I get up close to the helm and I whisper trying not to fall in love and then I kiss it
Starting point is 00:15:13 You kiss the helm? Oh my god Kelly, that was very well received No, it wasn't tell that it was not I broke Alia kiss. He says that's from him. I didn't say that. I am the great oldress. I am a wardlord.
Starting point is 00:15:34 I will conquer the same wild. You called her Winks. That's from him too. Oh. Okay, I'm gonna need a fucking room to myself. Take me with you. Oh, okay, I'm gonna need the fucking room to myself Thank me with you Is it really a triangle of one person to helmet?
Starting point is 00:15:54 Interesting Hmm something to ponder I'm ready to go cool. Let's do it Ben. Yeah, I think we'll Try and give like a good bye audience with Queen Umberspull. Sweet. Yeah, I'll say you walk down the hallway and you go in the direction that you heard Queen Umberspull walking in. And you see she hears you coming from the other side of the hall. She turns big, giant head, floppy mushroom, kind of turns to the side as she eyes you guys. It's the flower I gave her still better. It is in there. Oh hello if it isn't by florist.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Good to see you. We were going to be headed out but we heard that you had a brother that we were wondering if you could like liase us with him. Right. Oh, you'd like to meet with Schumrat? Yes, we're, yeah. Just trying to gather all the information we can to track down this egg. Right. Well, I assume you overheard me speaking about him just now. Yes, I did. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to't mean to like Eve's drop it was unaccident. Yes quite all right I must happen a lot elves and a ladrin in their big years, you know
Starting point is 00:17:11 Well, it actually does have something to do with Something you brought up last night last night you mentioned someone impersonating the void elves gave me Some concern. We're often associated with them because of our alliance long, long, and the past, but since the Blues can't get to us down here, I was worried about my brother and a small outpost amongst that den of Vipers. Yeah. So we sent a message out last night. Uh, that said, just to be wary of the blues and some kind of retribution, uh, or any kind of investigation or something that somebody might be coming his way. And we've not heard back. Oh, oh not terrible. Yeah, we would, we would be happy to go check on that for you.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Yeah. I'm a little concerned for you. Doesn't that put you in a bad situation? I mean, if you've sent out something that said, be wary of the blues and their retribution, and it got stolen? Oh, they're quite aware that we are not on the same side. We sort of have an open secret, a stalemate. Right.
Starting point is 00:18:23 They would have a very hard time coming down here and invading us, but my brother's just a small outpost and is literally amongst them. I've been trying to get him to come back here for the longest time, but he insists on going out there and playing politics. I see. May I ask a question? Of course. His name is Schrumra.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Is he kind of necromanctic? Yeah, indeed, would be a good way to describe him. So if I were to die, he could bring me back as some sort of necromancy construct. We don't have to get into that. Yes, of course. He could pump your dead body full of spores, and he could be a weird puppet. Necromancer. I suppose. Where is this coming from?
Starting point is 00:19:04 I don't know if I want you to meet if I could be honest. I think that's kind of a cool phase for me. Right? I agree, but at the same time I feel like this seems like a pre-glint thing. I want to dive into this at some point. Go on. So like you think he's down there and we're saying that we can go maybe like me up with him. Yeah, we can deliver the message. So, deliver a message, help him out. I know what happened to the messenger, etc. Right. I would certainly appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:19:36 The only thing is that's three outsiders traveling openly through the living wood. It would take you quite some time and you'd be targets Oh Hey, I look at Saul and I give him a theater to kid handsquees and I present the crumpled banner of princess ship of light With this give us safe passage Absolutely not oh Fucking good Give us safe passage Absolutely not I'm saying fucking good
Starting point is 00:20:12 Perhaps I mean maybe amongst the cold elves maybe they wouldn't attack you But they still might and don't just not tell princess shiverblade that would get you laughed at Yes, all right, so if we need to make a distraction on you on a night Yes tonight of princess shiverblade I smelled it on you when I first met Yeah, she said you smelled like Let's go back to me now I mean you could travel via the fungal network, but that has been oh, that's interesting I haven't heard anything mentioned about that before is that right? That's right. Yeah, you can be a dissent Is that right? That's right.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Yeah, you can be a deception. Oh, that's right. Woo! But I don't have any charisma. 13. Eazy-C. Nero-Sarat. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Well, it has not been used in a long time in any official capacity, but I suppose in an extreme circumstance, if the three of you would be willing to face the danger and if you
Starting point is 00:21:15 need to go down there anyway for your own purposes, perhaps we can both be of help to each other. Yeah. And if we, you know, you said it would be weird for three outsiders, top-siders even to approach Shroomrot, if we were to have some sort of guide, you know, someone that we'd brought. I know that you've been hanging out with Elzor. What? What are you talking about? You all stuck out with Elzor. We went out with Elzor. I know. So we went out with Elzor. You think I don't hear about these things?
Starting point is 00:21:41 Honestly, I have to say it was really good for the three of us, so Elzor did us a fucking favor. Yeah, you can smell the crick water on her breath, can't you? I can't absolutely smell the crick water. It's crazy, I've been blasting presses the vegetation of Stale Perth. I understand you have to love their wild letters. I know you, and I do, and I do can't try to tame a wild one. And I do, but it's a careful balance where I appreciate their rebellious streak, but they need me to
Starting point is 00:22:06 reel it in a little bit. Sure, I realize that whether I like it or not, Elzor will tag along with you. You look after them, they will look after you, and they don't need to know that I okayed this. But somewhere it does need to make the introduction to Schrumrutt. Great, so you're saying we need to make the introduction to Shroomrot. Great. So you're saying we need to stage a breakout for Elzor? It won't be that hard. They break out all the time. We're still going to make it really dramatic and over the time. I think they might appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:22:37 It is good that you are upfront with me. If you just went with Elzor, you'd have to sneak around the Deathcap mushroom guards who do not listen to anyone except the Queen's orders. You see, she goes and she shouts to a nearby servant, talks to them for a moment, and they produce a scroll. She hands over a scroll. Present this, when you get to the Deathcap mushroomards, they're sort of like constructs. They were essentially awakened to keep the fungal network
Starting point is 00:23:07 off limits, but this will bypass their programming as it were. I see. All right. OK. Before we go, is there an alchemist in town or anyone we could meet with that could maybe hook us up with some potions?
Starting point is 00:23:22 Yeah, like some heels. And maybe if one of us had another thing that we wanted to get. Like, I don't know, it's like- What do you want to get? What was- what is this? I just like- okay, I heard about a potion called Films of Love. Gally. I just- I just thought maybe just like one last. It would be so fun if he was in love with me when I fucking destroyed him.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Oh, honey. When he'd be so much more interesting, because I'm moving beyond him, but I still crave his attention. Still crave, but now I sort of revenge. So yeah, just the healing potions ma'am I'm going to hand The other two of you a note from the queen a new hand to this to the alchemist
Starting point is 00:24:17 She scribbles a note and hands you guys a scroll Everyone said well give him something and he'll see that he doesn't need it and I just wanted to brief fire. Everyone said, well, give him something and he'll see that he doesn't need it. And I just wanted to do the same. We know you is the thing. We know you so well. I have a feeling Glenn's gonna see what he's missing anyway without the potion. Thank you, Calder. That's good.
Starting point is 00:24:41 And even if he doesn't, he might just be a dickhead. That's true. I know that. I't, he might just be a dickhead. That's true. I know that. I just thought it'd be really more fun revenge if he also wanted me. All right. Well, good luck with all of that. I will call to the guards that are currently at Elzor's door and make it a little easier for them to get out.
Starting point is 00:25:02 But thank you and good luck on your travels, and hopefully you can get this message to my brother, just that the blues are off looking for void elves and might go through him to try to get to them. Okay, we'll warn him. Do you have anything else that you want to say? Like I love you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah, we like to say I love you to each other. Yeah. Or like have you bought an inn complicated. I feel like if you said she says I love you He would say what no, there's no way she said that And then it would be like I hope you're well. That's okay We say she was asking for yeah, that's good. Yeah, I say that skin for yeah that's good yeah say that I agree I would like to say that she was asking for you yeah really oh that's a little too much asking is your name a gift no okay the gift is him not being tortured or something
Starting point is 00:25:55 right so I guess for that reason we should go soon yeah yeah yeah I just go some heroes and exotar love, good luck with all of that. Thank you. You see that the note she gave you called her says, do not sell filter of love, do this moment. Well, Kelly, you can't be distracted from your mission to seduce the helm. That's true.
Starting point is 00:26:21 OK. All right, let's go get Elzor. Calder, I think you can come in on this one. Yeah, call it. It's gonna take all three of us. I think that you should be the leads on this. Yeah. This, this, this, this, okay.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Yeah. Lead. Yeah. You're ready. I think you're ready. Yeah, okay. I think I can do this. Call their straightens, the helmet stands up to all.
Starting point is 00:26:42 I, I, I, I hold out his hands for two squeezes. What, you're better than this man. Oh, Kelly, he's so jealous that you touch my hand. I'm not that so cute. You can't just say these things. That is so cute. I lean into the helmet, I say. I like that you're easy to actually.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Oh, whoa. What is happening? Okay, so I mean, I think let's just like, let's just do something simple, like pretend like cold as dye. Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait. All right, we've played that card before.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Let's put on something fresh. This is a new audience. This is our friend Ellsworth. We want to really impress them. How about we pretend to be the guards and colder beats the shit out of us? Wait, what? I'll do the dialogue. I guess I thought I'd be really fun for cold or to pretend to be in a bunch of pain. Yeah, that's more fun than beating you up.
Starting point is 00:27:41 You know, it's, well, I guess I thought I didn't have to explain how acting works, but you're not actually going to be in a sub. Call the bunch of solve. Yeah, let the heat float through you. You see this tiny frog dares insult your acting with his condescending shut up. Everyone stop talking. You see that a bunch of sausages from the breakfast fall out of Saul's pants? It looks good! I knew it! Gibbons is nearby. I think we can actually play them all.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Call the... You're dying! I'm dying! Call the start stacking. And I'm beating the shit out of this guy And I'll start fake punching salt Sweet, oh yeah, the queen number sport is called away the guards that were at Elzor's door You see Elzor goes to the door and opens it up as you guys are punching each other
Starting point is 00:28:41 You're not well enough. You have to get to bed. you're dying. You can't hang out with Elzor. I'm not sick. I just slap Saul across the face. Yeah. What is going on? Ah, it works. Ha ha ha ha. You are creating a distraction for you to come join us.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Hurry. I'm... Okay. I think I'm part of this troupe. Cray, yes. Get in, get it, get it. Okay, they bring you guys... The team has become Duck Troop.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Duck Troop! Duck Troop, great, good. The loon troop. You see, yeah, Elzor brings you guys in, closes the door, goes, all right, if we want to get to the fungal network, we'll need to sneak in. It hasn't been used in any official capacity in quite some time. It's quite dangerous. Okay, now it's in the fungal quarter,
Starting point is 00:29:29 so we're gonna have to worry about the death cap guards, but once we get past them, it's home free. You see, they're putting on all this gear, getting ready to go. Okay, Elzo, I have to tell you, when I hear the phrase, death cap guards, I feel so terrified. Do you promise that I'll go up
Starting point is 00:29:47 and I'll try to distract them with a note? And- With a note? No, they're like mindless. They have one track mind. All they want to do is protect the funnel now. I know, but I'm gonna like distract them. It's right, but the only thing that would work
Starting point is 00:29:59 is like something from the queen. Oh, that's perfect. I could, I'm actually really deceptive. Yeah. Okay, really quick. Let me go and I'm going to pretend that I'm making this. Give me a deception check. I'll help. Yeah. Okay, that is a 23. See, Elzor nods. All right is perfect. Thank you. Thank you. You see that Ignis is still sleeping off the a crick water night. She's in this big bowl. Are we not gonna bring it?
Starting point is 00:30:36 She's still healing. Yeah, Ignis is fine. She's not going to be able to fit through the fungal network It's the thing. It would be quite dangerous for her I'm kind of curious about how the fungal network works exactly. Are we going to like get sucked into a bunch of roots? That travel via some sort of like actual series of underground veins? That is exactly what's going to happen. Okay, and when that happens, are we going to like lose a bit of ourselves to the network and become like a mixed consciousness?
Starting point is 00:31:03 Because I've had an experience with that recently and it was not great. Sort of, you don't lose a bit of ourselves to the network and become like a mixed consciousness, because I've had an experience with that recently and it was not great. Sort of, you don't lose a bit of yourself, but you have to sort of communicate with the network to let them know which way you're going. And if your brain kind of gets scrambled if you get confused or something, you can hurt yourself, certainly.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Sure, yeah, but it doesn't try to take over your mind. Is it like a waterpock, like the one at Glayton? A little bit. There's a waterpark at Glayton too. Didn't we make a water park like the one at Glade's home? A little bit. There's a water park at Glade Home too. Didn't we make a water park at Glade Home? Oh, the ancient water park for two hundred years ago. That is now in the Astro Plane. I've heard stories of it.
Starting point is 00:31:36 My mother would read stories to me when I was a child. All the accidents that happened. That was so much dangerous. I hope the orphans and that one are doing okay. Okay. Good. Yes, what do we get going? All right, all right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:51 We're gonna make a quick stop off at the Alhtamy shop. Callie's gonna wait outside. Thanks a lot. That sounds good. I was backfully waiting outside, but it's like, have my hand and face pressed against the window. You see Elzor goes over, Pet's Agnius wakes her up,
Starting point is 00:32:08 lets her know that they'll be back in like a day, be back like by the night. They just need to make the introduction to Shroom Rout essentially. I do a limp peace sign, Agnius. Peace. She throws up two clothes. She's so aggressive, I love her.
Starting point is 00:32:24 She's crazy. Sweet, yeah. You guys go out via Dragon L from Ellsworth balcony because Ellsworth still thinks you guys are sneaking out. I'll be back before my mom even knows we're gone. I bet we will. Yeah, so smooth. Gonna be seamless.
Starting point is 00:32:40 I bet you're gonna get any trouble for this and I probably won't. Real quick, let me cast pass without chase on all of us We can bet a sneak and I just pretend like I guess Okay, it's all just like wiping up everyone's footprints You guys fly off this balcony via Dragon L, get into the city proper, and Elzor leads you to a potion dealer. You find a small hut with an old deep elf alchemist inside.
Starting point is 00:33:13 He's in the process of using like a mortar and pestle, grinding up some mushrooms. You see shelves of potions, most of them, various shades of like green, and bioluminescent colors and things like that. You see supplies for making them, mushrooms and other herbs that one might find in the caves. Oh, how may I help you? Outsiders, tap-siders.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Some of us quite literally outsides. I'm getting face-to-face. A window shop. That's interesting. Yes, yes, yes. We would just need a few potions and as you can see you know the Prince Exes with us we need to be discreet about it and I slide the little notes over to the Okay, don't show filter of love very well. Yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic. Okay. I will not
Starting point is 00:33:59 sell you a filter of love. Oh yes, we have all manner of potions down here. We've got poisons. I've got various health potions. The health potions are of course emerald and the poisons are of course green. Yeah I'll take them. Can I get some health potions? Alright yes. The health potions were the dark and rolled of the power. Yes, of course, what type of health potion would you like? I guess one that is unmistakably not a... Well, look, if you have like a fielsen botzware, can be a nuts. You know, can I have a filter of love? I'm sorry, I have to listen to the note.
Starting point is 00:34:43 That was his note. I don't have a note. Are you carrying me together? I have health under the note. Fine. What if that window shopper wanted a filter of love? Do you have a series of house plants that we can like pour these into just to make sure? Ah, yes, I suppose we can do the plant method. Here's a great or healing pose. And I'm positive it's a great or healing pose. It imposes it into a plant. You see the plant instantly withers and dies, okay? I would have been a death.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Elzor, is there another storm? No, it's okay. Unfortunately, this is the one. We'll write pee for poison on these and pee for potion on the other. Perfect. We can do a lowercase pee for the health potions. Kelly, please come inside.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Okay. Sweet. Hello, my name is Mae Pefany and I've been sent by a celebrity Gelly, please come inside Sweet My name is Mae Payfanny and I've been sent by a celebrity to get a filter of love for you. Really what's the leverage? I cannot name them. I've signed a nondesclosure Excuse us ma'am. You please go out of us. We're still deciding. Oh, I'd like to buy a filter Give me a dissimption check for disadvantage. Calm down, why did you flop? You're poison in us.
Starting point is 00:35:53 That is a 14. He'll roll in inside Jack. He never says hi. I'm sorry, I'm very clear that you're all friends. And that this is all the whole part. Why? Because I'm holding hands with both hands. And we're all wearing the same tractor. It was the matching clothes. That was a bigot to give away.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Oh, God damn it! Well, we wanted to present it like a simplistic look because we are in a theater troupe together. So like, we want the audience to be able to envision costumes. Exactly. Well, now that we've got the uppercase P lowercase P system, we should be able to decide what is poison and what is not. What type of potion would you like?
Starting point is 00:36:31 I'm gonna go ahead and roll, or somebody roll for me, 1D6 greater healing potions, which is the one that you guys tend to buy the most. 1D6 times 50 for the stooots price. Roll it up. One, yes. That's for this dude's price. Roll it up. One, yes. That's insanely good price. This dude doesn't know what he has.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Hishe's takes a little sip of it. It's certainly not poison. All right. OK, I think it'd be great to get some healing potions, but also the poison idea seems fun, especially, Callie, if you wanted to like slip one to Glen and embarrass him somehow. Yeah, or just put an on my blade and embarrass him that way.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Whoa. Um, yeah, why not? I mean, it just can we get some actual poison or is it? You can get actual poison, however, Callie, you would know that much like the cold elves have cold powers, green dragon elves have poison power. Right. Yeah. I say we just fucking load up on these cheap bad boys. Yeah, that's what I say, right?
Starting point is 00:37:29 Spend it $1,000 on it. Yeah, let's just do that. Sweet, so you guys get 20 greater healing potions, which is not bad. And I was just perusing your list of poisons over here. And I did see something called truth serum. Yeah, sweet, we certainly have some truth serum. Do another D6 times 50.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Five times 50, 250? 250 gold. What are we thinking? It just seems like it could be fun to have. Hey, you got your money. Here you go. It's been however you want. Oh, thanks.
Starting point is 00:38:02 Wait a minute. Hey, you stole this from my pocket. That's why it's yours. No, no, no. Foster, this is a lot of potions. Are you sure you can handle it all? Warrr. Oh my god, there's no-
Starting point is 00:38:12 Oh, it's not smell. There's no ball of dead stuff. Sweet, so that's all for potions? Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm loaded. You guys exit the alchemists hut, and you guys follow Elzor and exit the main area of the city and enter the fungi district.
Starting point is 00:38:28 I just want everyone to know that Old Callie would have stolen the potion that she wanted and I made the decision not to even try. I can't imagine. The door was undoing the bare minimum. The back door was locked, wasn't it? You can't call it the bare minimum because I've been lower. Let's recognize that growth. Thank you. As you guys transition into the fungi
Starting point is 00:38:52 district, you notice that the rock formations start to get more natural. The smooth elven stone carving that makes up the architecture of the main area of the city gives away to bumpy rock walls and smaller like cave dwellings. This area of the city is much more lit up because there is much more of this bioluminescent fungi. Fungai growing along the cave walls, you also see that there is a constant supply of glowing spores hanging in the air like fireflies. You see that there are mykinids that are awakened and then there are mushrooms that are just kind of regular bioluminescent mushrooms,
Starting point is 00:39:32 kind of people going about their days. Every once in a while, you see one of these death cap guards patrolling. They are shorts, but taller than the average mykinid and very broadly. They sort of have the build of dwarves. Their colors are much brighter, like neon greens and pinks and oranges, and poisons spores radiate
Starting point is 00:39:54 off of them from their being, and they have these like beady little dead black eyes. And Elzor sort of pulls you guys into an alleyway. We really have to avoid these guys. They have a connection to each other so they can keep summoning each other. And also, they have the ability to replicate themselves. Fantasia style.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Holy shit. I haven't read that. What's Fantasia? Fantasia's like Mickey Mouse is like, things just get out of hand right yeah around Mickey Mouse Things get out of hand or on Mickey Mouse. Yeah, the devil shows up for a bit. Just a little bit. Oh, that's fun In Disney movie. It's sort of yeah, yeah, it's like Mr. Toad Wilder It is it's a bit like Mr. Toad Wilder. Oh, We read that at the water park.
Starting point is 00:40:45 That was a bedtime story for us. OK, great. I mean, I guess we just have to cross our fingers that my deceptive little note works. God willy. Yeah. Coulter prepares an action. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Just in case. I do like a sneaky barrel roll. Oh, I'm scared. Kelly, what the hell? What do you think your notes gonna do? We're screwed. I don't know. I'm fucking terrified.
Starting point is 00:41:16 He's all the insin. Call her. You have to trust her. Come on. We're a true story. We're a true story. I do a sad barrel roll. There's so much barrel roll going on. Call the barrel rolls after Cali. Wait, I should have dressed to you.
Starting point is 00:41:36 How's our you better start rolling away? Tell follow me. Call the barrel roll. Don't run for your problem happening. We have to talk about this. You guys barrel roll down the street. You see, Elzor gestures to a small tower with an open archway that has a death cap, a guard watching. There's a hole in there that will take us to the fungal network. There's usually a thin layer of like a fun guy barrier
Starting point is 00:42:08 preventing anyone from just jumping in, but once we cut that, we can get inside. Before we go in, just one thing, Saul runs over to the biggest Toad's Duel he can find and sits on it. They've always just wanted to do that. You sit on a Dolds Dool. Hey buddy.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Hello. Thank you for your service. What the actual fuck are you doing? I kiss them. Who are you, the note? Can I do an insight check? So like Elzora is describing a lot of things that I am trying to understand if we actually need to be wearing about this stuff or if our note will. Yeah go ahead and give me an insight check. 15. Seems like the Queen's note would probably just bypass all of this stuff, right?
Starting point is 00:42:55 Okay, okay. Elzora, Elzora, everyone, keep your hot beats racing because we are not out of the tangerzone. All right. I'm gonna walk over there and we're gonna try Operation Note. But everyone be ready for a fucking all out, bare knuckle fight. All right, pray to whatever gods you hold true. Whoever gods you hold true, Mordzen has been good to me. And then I'll go over.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Sweet Elzor prepares their hooks. You walk over to the death cat mushroom. You see the one that's in the front by the archway is in a little bit of a trance. And then these big, beady eyes open as you get near. It's true to her. Yeah, nope, just someone burying a note from the queen. It's true to her.
Starting point is 00:43:44 How to have to note. You hold out the note. It truder. A hell to have to note. He holds out the note. It's like a spell scroll. You see this flash of purple magic begins sparkling. You see the death cat mushroom looks entranced by it and then gestures for you to enter. Proceed. All right, everyone, come on.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Wow, is she good or is she good? Oh shit it worked. We lived to fight another day. You guys walk in and you yeah you see that there's all of the security stuff set up. There's like a century and everything. Wow. Very clearly this was set up to be a stealth thing. I didn't realize you would just ask to go To go by the Queen's blessing But that's what you did so that's I've she really had no reason to say no So this is a lesson It's nicely If you ask permission
Starting point is 00:44:37 This episode of NAD pod has brought to you five bird dogs There a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two You can rest assured that bird dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that bird dogs has you covered. Now, we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily, bird dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dog's invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the
Starting point is 00:45:19 movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-a or promo code pop-a for a a free Yeti style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Um, Saul pours water on Calder's pants. Oh my gosh, Calder was so afraid he pissed himself. Oh shit, that's That's overdoing it. So I'm overdoing what? There's like a yes end and a fuck you butt and I feel like you just did that. I thought it was mud, it's all the sense. It's all shimselfed, it's so funny, it's scary. All right, that was for the eggs, but that was too far. So you guys enter this fungal tower.
Starting point is 00:46:23 In the center of the room, there is a huge hole, but it is covered with branch-like fungi that looks like you will need to piercet to enter. This whole room is, it's kind of gross. It's just completely overgrown with this fungi, and it's like throbbing, it's like moving, it's this living, giant organism. Ugh, this place kind of gross me out.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Okay, I wasn't sure if you don't I can be a soldier. I don't I mean I don't not love it, but I love it. I just Remembering there was like an overland route, right? Well, we need to yeah if we each had a dragon we'd still probably get shot down people would be upsetting a deep elf with three outsiders flying into enemy territory. All right, so we'll go in the gun call. The gun call's probably the way to go. Into the gun call.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Sweet. You see, you know what, we kind of thrive in the gun in the mess and the muck in the mess. That's right. Yeah. Sweet, yeah. You guys crack open sort of branches of fungi and that perfect sound. You guys crack open branches of fungi.
Starting point is 00:47:25 That's a perfect sound. There's this big mucousy sound as you cut through it. You see it opens up into just this hole. It's just this well of fungi. I'm sure into one of the fungi and go, great hole. Thanks. So do we just like jump in?
Starting point is 00:47:45 I think there's only one way to go in. Barrel roll. Can we do like one big like Katamari Barrel roll? Barrel roll, everyone get in it. It also gets on the outside. It opens his wings. You guys all grab onto each other and roll into the couple network. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Oh, whoa, here we go. Who will? Hell yeah. Ten. That's a 23 for Saul. Wow. Sweet. So you guys together, roll into this hole and you feel yourself fall, then begin sliding as the fungal tube levels out.
Starting point is 00:48:25 You fly through the underground amongst a sea of webbed fungus. Branch is flinging you through this natural tunnel. It's the sensation of swimming with the feeling of falling and also a feeling of being carried, like your crowd surfing, just being like shoved through, just branches of fungi wrapping around you. The network is not completely sentient, it's not like a regular miconid, this being is too huge to just house one mind. This is more primal. You have to sense and react and try to connect to this thing on a more instinctual level. So at the top of the round, everyone go ahead and give me perception, insight,
Starting point is 00:49:07 or nature check to try to tap into the network and kind of see what's coming up and be able to avoid any dangers easily. I'm gonna use a key point and activate my astral site so that I can get advantage on that. That's all. Sick. 15.
Starting point is 00:49:22 17. 14. 14, sick. Okay. Everybody pass the first D.C. 17. 14. 14, sick. Okay. Everybody pass the first D.C. for the first round. So you guys do feel all these voices speaking to you. At first you're a little bit overwhelmed, and then you're able to just kind of tap in,
Starting point is 00:49:35 and you notice that as you're kind of having the feeling like stay with Elisor, stay with Elisor, a little bit to the left, a little bit to the right, you feel this fungal network listening to you and continuing to throttle you through the underground. And you even begin to hear it's kind of warn you about things that are coming up. Like you get like a danger sense. Like oh, we got to go a little bit to the left because there's this giant clump of dirt
Starting point is 00:50:00 here that is right in the middle of the thing. You get like a little sense that you have to go a little bit to the right to avoid a cave in where a giant rock fell off a mountain and things like that. Oh my God, I ate too many eggs. I ate too many eggs for this. And there are various different challenges that are gonna come up as you guys go.
Starting point is 00:50:16 So Saul, you are first go ahead and roll me a D6. Okay, we're with D6. Four. Okay, the tunnel suddenly forks and you need to take a hard turn or crash into a compact chunk of dirt. So I'll go ahead and give me a deck saving throw. It's gonna be an easier DC because you were able to tap into the network and get some help. DC is 11. Okay, that's a 14. 14. You pass by the giant chunk of dirt and you are not hurt. You stay on path
Starting point is 00:50:43 on your Elzor who seems to have a very easy time speaking to the network and is just flying through. After a saw, that is Calder's turn, Rolladee six. Also a four. Same thing, going to give me a deck save, as you have to dive out of the way to get out of the way of a giant rock that has collapsed a part of the tunnel.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Shout out to the two crew. That is not going to do it. You are going to take 12 damage as your shoulder rams into a rock as you sort of lose communication with the network for a moment, but it continues to pull you along. Oh, you good, buddy? No.
Starting point is 00:51:19 After Calder, Cali go ahead and give me a D6. Okay. Full. Four. Okay, again, the tunnel, how do you guys always do this? The tunnel, four X, and there's a giant branch from a tree that's in the middle of the network. Go ahead and give me a deck save.
Starting point is 00:51:35 17. 17, you pass. You whip to the side and you guys are able to avoid it. We'll say it was all one thing that you avoided. Is this something that I could cast a spell? You cannot do, so you're essentially dashing, you're like concentrating on moving through and going with Elzor, but you could do bonus actions,
Starting point is 00:51:52 reactions, anything like that. I wanted to cast Bless. Oh, bless. I'm gonna say that if you do that, you'll have to take on an additional challenge as you sort of start to fall behind. Nah, do you for us not worth it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:06 But I will bonus action, give a inspiration to a calder. Sweet, nice. And I say in this fungal trial, we remember the wild. The wild. The wild. Calder turns to say that in smacks his shoulder and another root. I know that sounds like a say as my bless,
Starting point is 00:52:22 but since I just had it, why not? That was a callder.'t you feel this is different than the rapport spores? You feel Callie communicate this to you through this giant fumble network. I felt that deeply. Yeah. That was a hell of a run.
Starting point is 00:52:35 I think that flowers and spores are getting along. Yeah. Everybody go ahead and give me new perception checks at the top of the round. Oh, do we can do insight instead? You can do insight or nature. 22 for me. 23 for me.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Sick passes all around. You guys are really feeling in tune with this network. You guys are able to fully communicate with each other and Elzor is just hard left to bed. Down, dip down. Rocks, watch out for the rocks. Is Elzor writing this like a water park tune? Yeah, they're just going back and forth.
Starting point is 00:53:05 They've got their hands crossed across their chest. This is what it would have been like if there was water at the water park I grew up at. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. I saw it back around to you, D6. All right, let's do it. Come on, four baby. Shout out to the fork, dorks.
Starting point is 00:53:20 That's a three. That's a three, okay. Plummer. A part of the fungal tunnel collapses with the weight of the branches, pulling you in your allies up ahead, causing some dirt and spores to land in your mouth and eyes.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Go ahead and give me a con-saving throw. Okay. Uh-oh, mouth and eyes. Oh, you'll be infected. Close your mouth, everybody. What? Oh, oh, oh. Con-save is gonna be a 14.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Okay, sick. It was only DC 11 because you passed, so you are good. You just eat some dirt and you're good. Roll. Did you just, what did you, did you just eat dirt? Yes, dirt. The network told me you ate dirt. You had such a big breakfast.
Starting point is 00:53:56 I couldn't stop my call today. So I said you're falling out of your pants. My eggs were bad, okay? They were too buttery! Thank you! Calder your next, ThoEaD6. One. One.
Starting point is 00:54:11 You feel a subterranean monster attempts to grapple you from the depths and pull you underground. A malevolent predator hides a pseudo pod amongst the branching networks and will try to grab you. Who's this guy? I love this creature.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Come join us. Never I will never join the network. I'm a level that's mushroom. Yes you will. You say you're a level that I will turn you cute. You'll never join me cute. Rules with disadvantage. I literally rolled the one.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Disadvantaged because you passed your perception chance. So you sense it up ahead brother up ahead danger danger danger oh that's not dangerous it's super cute I'm not cute I really want to get someone a calder zips past it um Cali that's your turn it's hard for a mushroom not to be cute three three part of the fungal network collapses as you pass it dirt gets in your eyes and mouth Kelly don't worry. There's a lot of beetles and bugs in there I reach for the beetles
Starting point is 00:55:12 22 Sick yeah, it was only a DC nine So you're good my dirt for me you guys have all been passing your perception checks So this has been gravy as you guys go through you guys keep zipping through the fungal network. Go ahead and give me new perception checks for the third round. Oh, I will give a bodic on my turn to Saul. Ooh, great. I think that I'm assuming that he didn't hear what I said
Starting point is 00:55:36 to a caulder, so I say, Saul, in this fungal trial, we remember the wild. Saul smiles and there's so many worms in this game. You're saying it to everyone? It's the breakfast, spilling everywhere, bugs all over him. What everybody get on the perception checks? 12. Okay, just a 10.
Starting point is 00:55:57 You both have bardic if you want to use it. I got a 14. Okay, everyone has failed this round. Whoa. We can eat my 16 on the last round, I got a 14. Okay, everyone has failed this round. Whoa! We can eat my 16 on the last round, with our round. They could use their bardics. I might use it on my save.
Starting point is 00:56:11 Okay, yeah, that's right. So you guys, as you guys are sipping through, you guys are going so fast, and there's so many voices in this branching network that you're starting to lose control. Saul, go ahead and roll me a D6. Come on, more bugs. Bye.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Bye, the 11th moment swipes at you for dirty claws as you pass. I live. Go fuck yourself, you little fuck. I've got a friend you need to meet. Never. Can I try and grab him? I'm just trying to take you.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Yeah, if you want to stop. That's only, they rolled with advantage, and they still only got an 18 to hit. Armacles is 19. There you go. Swipes at you. Just pick some of the worms at your teeth as you continue down on network. Give her those back.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Fuck you. He's all yours, Cali. Paul, there that's your turn. I like the other one better. Two. Two. As you're communicating with the network, you feel it go from one consistent voice
Starting point is 00:57:12 of understanding to dissonant voices, sending contradicting messages. The mushrooms behind you are trying to pull you in a different direction from the ones in front of you, painfully ripping you in two separate directions. Give me a strength saving throw to break free. You're too soft. This way, no, this way, brother.
Starting point is 00:57:28 This way, this way. I really want you. Trying to figure it out, that's a 23. Sweet, nice. Bust through and you keep going forward. I have to hit the helm. I have to hit the helm. Wait, why?
Starting point is 00:57:41 That's such a funny thing. I can't. I can't. Dude, you gotta do a van. I got a good Romeo. Did you go to do a van? I'm confused and I see no new things. Just instantly, instantly conquered. Just a giant buried underground. Calle Romeo D6.
Starting point is 00:57:56 One. You feel a subterranean monster attempt to grapple you from the depths. It's me again. Yeah. 18 hit. It's my again. Yeah. 18 hip. It's my armor class. Okay, this thing grapples you. Oh.
Starting point is 00:58:10 And this is me to be 16 damage, and you guys see Callie falls behind. You see she's yanked back, and you guys stop seeing her. Whoa. The tunnel. Oh fuck. Callie.
Starting point is 00:58:22 It's not cute, after all. I'm going to eat you! Hey, yeah, I bet I fucking taste delicious. I shout at the mole. What the fuck? Topped your guy! I'm far back! Damn, sweet.
Starting point is 00:58:34 You guys keep shooting forward. Kali is behind. Kali, in order to catch up, go ahead and roll me a new D6. Yeah, I'm wondering. I got a 6. A. Yeah, I'm wondering. I got a 6. A 6? Your path is clear.
Starting point is 00:58:48 So you're able to actually go ahead and give me a strength save to get out of the grapple, but after that the path is clear for you. 17. 17 passes, you break free from this moment of mushroom. I changed my mind about you. I was never cute. You could have had it all, man. I already have it all. I live in the dirt.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Give me your dirt. Sweet, so Callie's a little bit back, but is broken free of this evil mushroom that was grabbing at her. But Calder, Saul, and Ells are rocketing forward. But then something seems to be going wrong. Everybody go ahead and give me one last perception check. And Callie, you're behind, so you actually can't see this. You won't see this until they deal with it.
Starting point is 00:59:40 15. Okay, 16. So you guys aren't able to fully grasp what is going on, but you notice that as you travel, certain branches of fungi, like when you guys were first rocketing through, they were throwing you as if these were like, you know, human arms like working together and like tossing you
Starting point is 01:00:00 from like one person to the other. They start to get weak and they start to like break off, like you're still able to pass and you're still going through, but they're starting to break off. And you can see in the distance, some of them are shriveling. It looks like they're dying. And you hear the voices in your head
Starting point is 01:00:19 from the network kind of fading. Sick, sick, healing sick, sick. Suddenly, phew, daylight breaks through as you smash through a wall of dirt and enter a pit with a green dragon in the act of breathing its poison into the network, effectively poisoning the well. You see, this tunnel would normally take you
Starting point is 01:00:44 directly to Shroomrot's lair, but it looks like this dragon and its cohorts have dug a hole here to cut off the network and is using its poison to poison the lair from a distance. As you burst through, you hear shouting, but you don't see anyone else yet, you're just face to face with this young green dragon, saw you are first act.
Starting point is 01:01:04 All right. Where did you come from? I came from the ride, you broke the ride! There's no ride here! We were on a super cool ride, we were being touched by a million little hands, it was great. Look, you... F**k a creep.
Starting point is 01:01:17 I spit dirt at them. Ah! Ah! Okay, I'm going to go ahead and try and put my best foot and fist forward and just uppercut this drag and my astral gauntlets Do it out. You see that like spectral claws form at the end of them as I slash forward. You go those claws. Yeah!
Starting point is 01:01:36 Cool. I turned a caulder. How is that? Perfect. I do a barrel roll. Fuck me. That's 11 to hit. That's gonna miss.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Yeah, you pound into this thing's scales, rock hard scale. It feels like you're punching armor. I was trying to punch its poison sack. Don't touch my poison sack. This one's gonna hit your poison sack. That's gonna be 14. No, that's gonna be 2040. I thought your ear was just like this one's gonna hit. This one's gonna hit. Yeah,. That's gonna be 14, no, that's gonna be 2040. I thought your herring's just like,
Starting point is 01:02:05 this one's gonna hit. This one's gonna hit. Yeah, you get under the scales this time. All right, so that's gonna be a bonus action to activate my gauntlets, so that's going to be the 2d6. So then an extra d6. Oh my sack. Oh yeah, big bulbous sack under its neck.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Oh. So that's gonna be 10 damage. 10 damage. Right into their poison sack. All right, that is the green dragon its neck. So that's gonna be 10 damage. 10 damage. Right into their poison sack. Alright, that is the green dragon's turn. The green dragon, luckily, has just been using his poison breaths and he's to roll a six on a D6 to get his poison back. That's four does not.
Starting point is 01:02:37 It's just going to turn and take some swipes at Saul. You punched my sack! Try and punch my sack back. I flicker my scarf. Oh, rolls with disadvantage on the first attack. Misses with the bite, which would have been bad. Rolls with disadvantage. Yeah, you're just phasing in and out of existence.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Stay still, little mouse. With disadvantage, still gets a 20 to head on the skull. Oh, that does it. Okay. With disadvantage, still gets a 20 to head on this wall. Oh, that does it. Yeah, it just slams you into the side of this crater for 16 damage. Okay. And then Rolls-Flat takes one last claw attack, and that is only 17 to head. So you are able to block that.
Starting point is 01:03:21 Yeah, you bring up your giant spectral gauntlets and slap your hands over the things claws and start wrestling with it. You little piece of shit, stay still. You're pretty good, but you're weak from all that poison in your veins. After the dragon, you see two arcane archers. One blue dragon elf with a blue mask. The other one is a green dragon elf
Starting point is 01:03:43 with a green mask, lean over the is a green dragon elf with a green mask Lean over the side of the pit and pull out these magical bows that crackle with arcane energy and they're going to take shots at Saul 22 to hit you saw can I use a reaction to deflect this? You can certainly attempt to okay, so with deflect missiles I'm gonna use a key point as my reaction to deflect this missile and it's going to be one D10 plus 10 is the damage threshold. Sick. Okay, this dude was actually going to do a grasping arrow, so he's going to try to do it anyway. So it's going to do five plus nine damage. As you see, this arrow flies out, just nicks
Starting point is 01:04:22 your shoulder. And at first it's no big deal, but then it explodes as it goes past you and you see these vines go to wrap around you and they do an additional nine damage, so 14 damage total. Okay, so see if you can shake that off. I think I can shake it. You ripped my sweater. You'll attract Jacket his ugly.
Starting point is 01:04:42 Oh, that is 19 damage. 1 to 10 plus 10. Sweet, yeah, you straight up fucking catch the arrow. Yes! I crunch all the vines that are coming out of it and I'm gonna throw it back. What's impossible? Grasp this.
Starting point is 01:05:00 That's going to be 16. 16 does hit. Yes! All right, cool. Yeah, you see, you're like fishing a barrel down there in this pit right now, and you see these two archers are just going to shoot down at you, completely shocked that an arrow flies back at this dude's face. Look at the fucking fighting style is this!
Starting point is 01:05:17 Say that about my track jacket again. That's just going to be six damage. These dudes don't look super hard either. They're obviously they're ranged fighter. So yeah, you hit this guy, he goes, oh! What was that, dude? This is a little sound. Work on that.
Starting point is 01:05:33 I like him, let's keep him safe. The second, this same guy, this green guy gets a second attack. Completely misses. Goes into the side of the pit here. Blue Dragon Elf takes a shot. That's only 16 to hit. Misses.
Starting point is 01:05:47 Misses takes another shot. 19 to hit. That's my AC. Okay, 12 damage. All right, that does, yeah. And then the blue dragon is going to go ahead and do a bursting arrow. You see this arrow explodes, doing an additional nine damage
Starting point is 01:06:01 to Saul, and Calder, I'll say you're the closest one to him, you take two damage. Oh! See, that's how you exclaim in pain. No, you just let out a little. What was that? After the arcane archers called her that is your turn. So you're down in this pit, pit's probably like 20 feet wide. You're essentially in like a crater in the ground. Yeah, how high up did you say the pit was? I'll say the pits, 10 foot drop.
Starting point is 01:06:35 Oh, great. Sick. Okay. I call the ice plate to the hill to my sword. And I approach the dragon and I say, damn, why is everything around here so cute What are you referencing? Swing what are you is it some sort of inside joke that I wasn't here for it happens in the tunnel That's just tunnel. It's just for my friends. Okay, so you said that for your yeah one friend who's here
Starting point is 01:07:03 So I've three friends, okay, that's a dirty 20 out of 24 to go both Cool Yeah, Elzor's you're too right. Yeah, Elzor. I'll say as you guys Flung through this barrier. They kind of got stunned into the wall here. They're lower in the niche initiative than you guys 29 damage Sick Yeah, you get the ice blade up under this thing's scales. It shrieks and kind of falls back. You really are adorable.
Starting point is 01:07:31 I hate to do this. I have not a door open. I'm gonna action surge and I'm going to use the strength of Ultras. Whoa. Okay, plus two to the attack roll, plus two to the damage, and add a D12 to this. That's right.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Okay. Saul, you are next to Calder. You see that Calder begins to, as he takes this big swing, his arms begin to grow, his chest begins to grow, he begins to get taller, and you see his veins are pulsating, and he begins to get like, almost like a translucent skin. You see a white beard begins to grow on him as he swings and his sword, his ice sword, seems to extend and take on the power of the giants as you swing into this dragon. Wow, I hope it'll roll bad.
Starting point is 01:08:21 That's not... Jesus Christ! That's not 20. Jesus Christ. Here, the voice in your head, it feels right. Does it not? I have to admit it does. That would be 2D12s now on top of the 46 that you're already going to roll.
Starting point is 01:08:38 That's awesome. Call her. 30 damage. 6. Nice. Yeah. You see this giant version of Calder swings in and does a nasty cut across this thing's throat.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Who are you? Where did you come from? And if my action search I think I still get another swing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, baby, that's a 19 on the die. That hits 22. That dies rolls and saves.
Starting point is 01:09:03 It's a good dice. 18 damage. Maybe that's a 19 on the die. That hits 22. That's dice rolls and saves. It's a good dice. 18 damage. This dragon's looking pretty fucked up already. Sick. And after Calder's turn, Callie catches up and bursts through the dirt. Callie, you see.
Starting point is 01:09:17 Hey, Aksha, I think you don't really need me. So. No, we definitely do. They're shooting at us, Callie. They're shooting at us, Caroline. They're shooting weird arrows, Cali. What about me? They're shooting two damage. They're not weird arrows.
Starting point is 01:09:32 They're just, they're arrows that do magic. I guess I'll just go after the people shooting. The archers? Yeah. Okay, sweet. Yeah, there's a green one that's already taken five damage and a blue one. I'm going for the blue one.
Starting point is 01:09:43 Sweet, you go up to the blue one. Just say 21 here. Yes. Okay. Yeah, you jump out, just do like a standing 10 foot jump and plop down next to this guy. You also see that they were a little slower on the jump. You see two Dragon Elf Pikemen that have these like
Starting point is 01:10:01 halberds are rushing towards the pit. You see they're now running towards you, but you do get on top of this blue dragon elf archer. Ah, no, I'm an archer. Then I will do a third level smite and a defensive flourish. Sick. 39 damage.
Starting point is 01:10:20 Oh, Cal. And my AC's now 24. You bullied just fucking behead this blue dragon elf archer. You see the green dragon elf looks, oh my god, what? Do I cleave into them at all? Yeah, I'll say you do five damage to them. So I think as I behead the one, I graze their Adam's apple with my sword.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Give him something to wince in pain about. And then I got like upright and clout, like I want to kind of like position myself so that they can't shoot my friends. Sweet. After Callie's turn, that's Elzor's turn. You see Elzor looks at the dragon, looks at this tunnel as the fungal network was supposed to continue to Shroomrotts Lair. Seize all this dead fungus, and looks at the dragon goes, what did you do? What did you do to my uncle?
Starting point is 01:11:11 And goes forward and is just going to take some attacks with their hook. Yeah. Freaking get him. Hits once, and it's not going to be able to do their like a yank thing because the dragon is too huge, but they're kind of just too mad to be super strategic. Yeah, Elzor does 12 damage to the dragon. All right, who is who is looking fucked up. That is the dragon elf pikeman's turn. See a grain dragon elf and a blue dragon elf with these haliburts that actually have blades on both sides, run towards you, Cali. Cali, actually give me an insight check. Tsk, tsk, masks on, so it's kind of hard to tell one guy from the next.
Starting point is 01:12:08 He has blonde hair and Glenn has black hair. I know, but I was wondering if I knew the person's name. If you might know who they are. I might know, okay. But they are going to go ahead and take swings on you. This is gonna be so sick, because my A.C. is 24. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his first guy takes sick, because my AC is 24. Yeah, yeah. And his first guy takes two attacks.
Starting point is 01:12:26 Mrs. On the first attack, Mrs. On the second attack. Like you block both times with your new luck plate. I block with the cadaver of the person I just beheaded. Jesus Christ. Second guy, green dragon elf, looks frazzled, oba crits. Oh. Swings around, gets under you.
Starting point is 01:12:44 They have a thing once per turn that they can add 3d6 of damage. So they can actually double that with a crit. So they are going to do 32 damage to you, Cali, as they get under your armor, because you are surrounded now. You've got this archer here, and then you've got these two pikemen,
Starting point is 01:13:01 and the one gets behind you and stabs you in the back. You're gonna fucking regret that. Colder! I think I need someone stronger up here! That's back up to Saul's turn. Saul looks at Colder in the dragon and says, you look like you've got this covered. We're just gonna send him colder to everything. You can handle this cute little fella. Yeah, I think not cute, not little,
Starting point is 01:13:28 basically domesticated. I might take you all. All right, I'll let you handle this. Decide whatever you want to. Saul is going to extend his gauntlets to catch the ledge of the pit, 10 feet up, sweet. And then just monkey de luffy style, spring himself right up to where Calli is.
Starting point is 01:13:46 Sick. You spring yourself up. Yeah, you've got three guys up here. You've got two pikemen and one archer. I guess I'll just lay into the archer that Calli already hit. Sweet. Does a 15 hit?
Starting point is 01:13:56 15 does hit. Nice. All right, I'll go and take my second attack. Ah, that's gonna hit. That is a 22. Both hit. You get up, you do a quick combo, punch this the starter across the face, then punch him in the gut. Uh-huh!
Starting point is 01:14:09 Hahaha! Those sounds just so cute, I gotta keep hearing them! Uh, okay, I'm going to do those two attacks. That's going to be just seven, 11 damage to this guy. Quite hurt. So I think I'm going to use a key point to do a flurry of blows. Sick! To this guy quite hurt. So I think I'm going to use a key point to do a flurry of blows sick 26 and a 22 both it great two more D6 15 damage
Starting point is 01:14:33 Saul finishes You see that like I use the like sharp claws at the edge of my gauntlet's to just like cleave off this head as well and it lands directly in Calais hands at the edge of my gauntlets to just like cleave off this head as well and it lands directly in Kalle's hands. What is the matter with you people? I put it on the cadaver that I've been headed. Good Lord! Oh, that's fun! Now it's a different guy! It's not a kill!
Starting point is 01:14:57 I'm playing God here! It's my paper doll. After Saul's turn, that is the green dragons turn. We are gonna roll a D6. see if he gets his breath weapon back. I'll roll in front of the table. If he gets a six, he gets his breath weapon. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:15:12 He he. That's one. No breath weapon. It's gonna take some claw attacks on Colder. 18 to hit. Misses. Misses on the first claw attack, second claw attack. God, 10 to hit. Misses. Misses. On the first claw attack, second claw attack. God, 10 to hit.
Starting point is 01:15:27 Misses. Bite attack is a fucking crit. That will do it. Oh, I have re-rolled the damage already. That is going to be 46 damage, Calder. OK, I'm going to use stones in Durant's and Shake Off. 15 of that. Sweet.
Starting point is 01:15:45 I guess slashes into your gut. There's this giant scratch, this giant scar across your gut, and you sort of harness your powers of cold. You see, begins to frost over and heal a little bit. I feel marginally better. After the dragon's turn, that is called this turn. You're gonna regret you did that. I feel marginally better. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 18 dead both it nice it really is becoming your animal. Yeah, this is also you know Dragons typically like fight in the sky and things like that are swooped down This thing is downed pit with you was surprised had already used its breath weapon
Starting point is 01:16:34 So you and Elzor sort of surround this thing and just start fucking hacking at them. Yeah, that's 23 damage 23 damage this dude is on death store And I will use a bonus action of giant leadership, another Ultras power. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And that will give Cali you can use your reaction to attack someone. Really?
Starting point is 01:16:58 Yeah, use your reaction to attack. I say to you, in times of trial, remember the wild. And to remember the giants. Oh, and ultra-solo. Wait, you just reveled right? I did not say hello. I did not say hello. Hey, I took my hat the time behind my ears.
Starting point is 01:17:16 Collar, did your little friend say something? I know, he hasn't said anything. I will look at the one who did all that fucking damage to me. Sweet, yeah, you turn around. You see this green dragon elf looks nervous as you turn around and focus on him. It says 18 hit. 18 does hit. I'm gonna do slashing flourish.
Starting point is 01:17:36 Sick. So. That sounds good. His friend takes an extra three damage. Cool. And I'm gonna do a third level smite. Sweet, you do like a spin around. You slash the blue dragon elf as you wind up to attack the green dragon elf straight up count duke-style. You're stepping in duke-koo but we
Starting point is 01:17:57 love episode two here. 34 damage. This dude instantly looks quite fucked up. 34 damage and then his friend takes three damage. So I did slashing. They both make an equal. Oh! So it's just like an elf thing. It's not your... You just took a little bit of damage.
Starting point is 01:18:16 What's your real deal? Um... Call to us say thank you to Ultris for me. He says anytime. He did it. He said it was his pleasure. Oh my God. And Calder marked down two charges so far.
Starting point is 01:18:29 Yeah. Oh my God, I'm so worried about this. It's a worries of things. It's OK. It's OK. To a step closer. We're just going to brew a big pot of celestial seasonings, and it's going to be fine.
Starting point is 01:18:41 We are going to figure this out. Calder. We're going to figure this out. You can't conquer my mind if I never go to sleep. But you didn't think about that, you didn't. Oh, we can have you reincarnated. Yes. It's like an elf.
Starting point is 01:18:54 You don't sleep. You don't get a point in credible. You get exhausted, I agree. Ice you, cold. Ice you, cold. Tire. Um, Kelly, that's your turn. Okay.
Starting point is 01:19:04 Oh, yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna fucking go after this one who is who the brain dragon elf looks nervous. Yeah, you should be. What's your name by the way? I think you fucking recognize me. Record! Do you remember me? Do I?
Starting point is 01:19:22 Yeah, you knew of a record amongst a Glenn's crew of Dragon Elves. He was not particularly important or else he wouldn't be sent on kind of this outside. Yeah, I remember you. We should be on the same side here. I don't know why you're... Why should I be on the same side as you?
Starting point is 01:19:39 Because I gave you all something but accident I got manipulated into all, you know, just for weakness of self gave you all something but accident, I got manipulated into all, you know, just for weakness of self-gave you something that now you're using in a fucking disgusting way. You see his eyes widen and he looks shocked and he looks over your shoulder and looks at the blue dragon elf that's fighting you. Who kind of looks confused? You know her?
Starting point is 01:20:01 Yeah. No, I did you know. He throws me because the fuck the green elves are fucking arming themselves against you because they're coming after you're fucking thrown in this fucking wild. Um, go ahead and give me a persuasion check. 23. You see this blue dragon elf looks at the green one and these guys are inferior fighters to you.
Starting point is 01:20:28 So they're kind of working together to help each other to overwhelm you. You see as you say that, this guy narrows his eyes as if it's something he perhaps suspected or believes and he lets up for a moment, kind of lets you take an attack on this green dude. Yeah, I think I'm gonna not cleave great I'm gonna just go after no no no no no wait, it's your old buddy record Yeah, how are you my own buddy? I'm not looks at the blue dragon. I'm not You the green the green dragon goes shut the fuck up record. It's already 20 to hit. And I'm taking a bet that this guy doesn't have the most hit points left.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Yeah, he's looking pretty hurt. So I'm just going to do a second level divine smite. Sick. Classic record. 22 damage. Callie finished this dude. Um, I think I take out my look blade. Um, and I think I... No, no, no, no, no, finish this dude. Um, I think I take out my look-blade. Um, and I think I- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:21:27 I fucking- I think I fucking hold it to his throat. And I look at the blue dragon elf, and I'm like, I don't want to fucking fight you. My problem is with green elves. I think you should go tell your superiors what you just found out based off of what I said, but also the look of fucking guilt and knowing on this guy's face and I take off his mask. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I think I'm just gonna fucking bump them over the head and knock them unconscious and then tell the blue elf and be like go Tell your fucking people
Starting point is 01:22:09 You see this blue dragon elf holds his hand up looks down You see the green dragon is down there fighting called during Elzor. You see souls right there The two arcane archers have been beheaded the The dragon looks fucked up, the dragon looks up. What is the meaning of this? Will you ally? And this blue dragon, it holds his hands up, drops his pike and takes off. That's embarrassing, he didn't know.
Starting point is 01:22:37 That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing, he didn't know. And then I think like, because I took this guy's mask off, I'm just kind of like kind of like knock him unconscious. Yeah. And then like kind of be like Let's just fucking tie him up, fucking figure it out later. Sweet.
Starting point is 01:22:52 Let's tie him up with his hand down his pants. He is not. The fight is not over yet. Yeah, I know that. But I'm not worried about brother. That is Elzor's turn. Elzor is gonna take some cracks at the dragon who has already quite hurt.
Starting point is 01:23:06 Hits twice. This dragon was on Death's Door. You see, goes to try to fly away. Elzor goes up and just hooks once in the neck, yanks it down with a chain. It falls back into the pit and then takes the other hook and then just slashes into the green dragon.
Starting point is 01:23:24 Killing it. Whoa. Green Dragon is dead. You guys are left amongst this bloody battlefield and you see all of this dead fungus leading further down the tunnel and Elzer goes, they poisoned my uncle's lair. They could be dead or in Georgia they're just trying to smoke them out. Alright, we should go to them. Yeah, we can't go through here.
Starting point is 01:23:51 Do you know how to get there? I don't know how to get there. We're not far. Okay, well, we've got multiple green dragon costumes here, don't we? Oh, that's true. Yeah, you see that there are two. We've got two of them. We could always play. Some of us could really, really get into the hostage role really efficiently. Because I'm wearing the dragon skin. That might be tough. Well I guess like there might be other bully wugs in this forest. You could pretend that you just captured me
Starting point is 01:24:25 Yeah, and we've got this knocked out guy that I don't know what to do with. I think we should bring them with us Yeah, okay. Yeah, we could put actually you know what we could do as a green dragon elf He'll be immune to poison We could just put him in the tunnel and then collapse it and then figure out how to get the fuck out and I'll take them six or seven hours. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, because the fungus is all dead. I'll just have to walk. All right.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Great. Let's do that. Let's get them a bad day. You grab a card. You just throw them in the pit. You guys throw a bunch of dirt on top of them. And once again, kind of fill up the tunnel. Well, while we're regrouping, I do want to just use my spectral gauntlets to, um,
Starting point is 01:25:08 give Callie a standing ovation for that stellar performance. That was, uh, very riveting. Well, wait, did I lie? No, just like the way that you sent that guy packing and you really set him straight. I mean, if the, oh, we should have told him about the fucking consortium. Like, the meeting. You must know. The meeting, the blue... The blue dragons weren't in the...
Starting point is 01:25:30 The blue dragon elves would have no idea. Oh, that's great. As if he probably hasn't gotten that far. Okay, then let's just run after him. Okay, yeah, sweet. Wait. We're in barrel rolls towards him. Wait, sorry.
Starting point is 01:25:43 And that was already cool. I mean, just have one more thing to say. We almost forgot to tell you. You guys run out after, in the direction that this blue dragon elf was. And you guys hear a commotion in the distance, likely from where Shroom Rott's layer is. And Elzor is running, trying to get to their uncle.
Starting point is 01:26:09 But before you guys get there, everybody give me a perception checks. Ooh. Gorgeous, 22. Oh, six. Ooh, six and nine. Six, nine. As you guys are running, you're trying to catch up
Starting point is 01:26:22 with this guy, but you're surrounded by forest, thick vines, and leaves everywhere. It's hard to find him. There's not like a perfect path. And you pass him because you find his body riddled with arrows on the ground. What? Can I inspect the body in the arrows? What the hell have you known? You go and inspect the body. Go ahead and give me an investigation check. I'm going to stand over her and prepare to deflect an arrow.
Starting point is 01:26:56 Sweet. I'm going to look at Calder and be like, I got a five. Calder, maybe detective Kilday could come. Yeah. Take a maybe detective kill day could come. Yeah. Take a look at this. Yes. Detective kill day.
Starting point is 01:27:09 It called her takes off all tristis helmet, puts on a Sherlock Holmes. Ha ha ha. Also cursed. Ha ha ha. Solshouts at a snail. That's another 20. Woo! You, um, look at the arrow.
Starting point is 01:27:22 You pull one loose. You sense magic here poison Some type of arcane archer the shooter was obviously left-handed a Green dragon elf most likely because of the poison quickly killed this dude and Saul you are standing over Cali trying to protect her. Yeah Go ahead and roll your deflect arrows thing as an arrow comes right at you and Saul, you are standing over Cali trying to protect her? Yeah. Go ahead and roll your deflect arrows thing
Starting point is 01:27:47 as an arrow comes right at you. That's 13 damage that I can detract. Saul, heading right towards you, you clap and catch this arrow. And you see that on the arrow is a little note. Um, I redo its four. It does not say who its four, but as you open it, Callie you are hit with the scent of sandalwood. Is it fucking Glen's fucking arrow? You know that Glen is, Glen is a good fighter, but he's a sneaky fighter.
Starting point is 01:28:27 He is an arcane archer with the sharp shooter feet. So he can shoot from far away. He was on that fucking battlefield. Where is he? Can I do a perception check to try and find him? With your 22. And did it say anything on the note? Yeah, so you open up the note.
Starting point is 01:28:48 God, I'm sorry guys, this is actually really hot. Love you, read it. It's okay, yeah, love you, read it. Is it kind of hot? We all read it together. It's fucking kind of hot that he did this. Yeah. Well, you're saying harder hot.
Starting point is 01:29:01 Hot. Damn it. Okay. But like, I mean, isn't it? Objectively, yeah. Unfortunately. Who wants to read the note? I'll read it. Because I've got it. Okay, but like I mean is it objectively yeah, unfortunately who wants to read the note I'll read because I've got a right I Calder takes the note from Cali that's so on a whole the arrow No, no, I don't
Starting point is 01:29:18 The snivling loser writes I heard rumors from my friends to the north, but I had to see it to believe it. Have you come to win me back, my dear? I'm afraid our destinies have diverged, but I hope we can remain friends. Be careful out there, little mouse. There are cats about. And Matt swirled under, said he just broke. Did he break up with you twice?
Starting point is 01:29:43 He just broke up with me, I know what you're talking about! What the fuck? Oh, he's dead! How do you understand? Oh, you're dead, Claire! Do you understand what I needed? That fucking filter of love to get that to wipe them. He did it with the notice.
Starting point is 01:29:55 He did it with the notice. He failed. Oh, no! Peltar pulls out their hooks and just starts to get out of the door. Yeah! Ha! Ha! Oh! Oh! Oh! Good lord. All right, guys. Oh
Starting point is 01:30:09 Lord all right guys Wow On the short now I really wish I got that love potion because I read that's the only way to wipe that smugness off his face We'll find another way We'll find another way. Guys, you can listen to us talk about Glenn over on the short rest patreon.com slash nad pod that's nad ddp. Oh, you don't sing. Yes We hate you glitz anybody have anything they'd like to plug I got a big one check out nad pod dot com slash live to look at all of our Live dates. There's a whole bunch of them coming up. Coming to Canada twice.
Starting point is 01:30:47 Oh my God. Yeah, I'm going to go over to Toronto. Double scoop. In my dream last night, I was on a train to Toronto. Whoa, that's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, pretty far from my place. But still.
Starting point is 01:30:59 Yeah. Makes sense from New York maybe. That's good. That's going to be cool. Yeah, that'd be fun. All right, y'all check out. I got a mean note from my contractor in my dream. Yeah, I'll be okay.
Starting point is 01:31:08 Don't know if that has anything to do with my show. No, that's just anxiety. Yeah, okay. Alright, everybody. You can follow us on social media. There were mere men at use at CH1RSME, at Coldheast Coldwell, at ADI Act for Demoli, and at J.Gurwitz's Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag
Starting point is 01:31:22 Nadpod, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of a nation, we are we are the youth of a nation. It's the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent, superior, delightful counsel of elders. Let's get right to it. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hucy. Later, McSkater. Matt M. Jordan D.J. Cutter W. Daniel G. Dylan B. Who missed his own D&D game to see NADPOT LIVE and L.A. Thank you so much, Dylan. Your dedication means the world. Dungeon Mama. Daniel the
Starting point is 01:32:05 Dasterly Dame. Beard Man. Dan. Danny P. Michael McDee. Vincent W. Mister Cole. Victor T. A. K. A. Balnor's boy forever. Dominic P. Andrew B. Justin I. Ragnar Ferdwend. TJM. Traylay. The Cray. Jared E. Christopher B. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. The head chef at a little place called Manges.
Starting point is 01:32:37 Richard X Machina. Michael L. Taylor S. Calum L. Jack L. And Sam L. Nicholas C. radiator. Legladi L. Jack L. and Sam L. Nicholas C. radiator, le gladiator. Samuel B. Mike H. Martin P. Matthew E. Way cooler than angry
Starting point is 01:32:55 wheat. Adam G. Tyler F. Panama James. Andrew the bar. Nope, nope, sorry, sorry about that. Just Andrew the Druid here. Okay. Adrian the Halfling Bardificer. Ooh. Happy Birthday Ashley. Happy Birthday. Captain Cigil. Diana Deila's Lopez. Cicilulu. Michelle O. Hercule Poiro.
Starting point is 01:33:18 The Rabbit Folk Detective. Timmy R. Croc Aholic. Lucas B. Raco. Itmy R. Croc Aholic Lucas B. Raco. It's Kevin. Calder's cold-come, hashtag Rise My Comrades, spread the comradery and happy birthday 8-bit guest.
Starting point is 01:33:34 A little off message at the end there, but I'll allow it. New York. Taylor B. The vengeful one-winged angel. CASS. Skateboard CASS. Steven C. Michael M. Mike K. Lady Taco, Brian G,
Starting point is 01:33:49 Joy T, Nara, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger, Esmi M, Mutton, the Mad Druid, who's been trying to undo his friend who has been stuck as a polymorph sheep for three weeks, keep at it mutton you got this. Foster the boneless duck. Aaron the Asshole Ranger. Big bad beardo the mad. Eric McD. Giant monsters.
Starting point is 01:34:17 On the horizon. Glad Roselle, the white rose of Galatoron for the light. Christian A. J. Dragonborn. Joe Rowe, the white rows of Galatoron for the light. Christian A. J. Dragonborn. Joe Roe, the inappropriate. Oop. Liam D. The Sandrayan. Ben A. Fel-O-Dontus.
Starting point is 01:34:35 John III. Dave H. Vivian. Koala Bear. Katherine S. David K. Christian S. Rebecca G. Dustin S. Keith K. Connor F. Hawkeye Pierce.
Starting point is 01:34:49 Bookfarr's assistant, Izzy F. Wood L. Theron who is desperately trying to fix his oath bow. Blair the Brug Blair Brug Blairian. Kat C. Kelsey J. Pork Chop. Ariel, the occasional mermaid. Ah, Blair, you really messed up my speech. Valacy Raptor. Minette is evolving into Gerido, so my god, we're all gonna die! Pat L. Achuta A. Lauren H. Ryan S.
Starting point is 01:35:18 The Bounduster. The Charming Fluff. Robert Cr crisps. And Telekitty Creations fan illustrator insert request here. Oh, I would love to see some of the critters that the gang encountered when they were traveling through the fungal network. Or the deathcap knights. One of those two.
Starting point is 01:35:40 Ploups. Carlyanne. Addy Kay. AP Cleric. Laurie P. Those who love and give where they can. Murph, the Nerf mascot, terrifying segue for me. Grant L, Connor S, Christopher J, Pebblepot. Why are dragons amazing musicians?
Starting point is 01:35:58 Well it's because they know their scales. Uh-huh. Celial, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Rimmings & CD, Amber Dextrous, Kai, The Ham Sandwich, Delicious. Sullivan H. Sydney Tatum, Jack Hubert Strong, Caldwell Conspiracy Thirst, Welcome to the Fold, You Are Right and Vindicated in All Things, Vanderae, She Wolf of Winter. Garble the moist. Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi and their tiefling barbarian essence.
Starting point is 01:36:29 Ooh, mysterious. Champ Wild, Vailin, beep, barbarian bastard baby of Brian and Brennan, beep you are loved. Carlin Castalis, Stan the Dragon Man holder of too many bags, Balnor Salutes you, Emily S. T. R.E.P. Harry Cox, Noah the Bagel of all things. Justin LeBee, Tori, Levi Little, Pindergreens, Pungent Putting, Hashtag CCC, Hashtag Slangin' Rope. Bunny, Marcos P, Pop-Kailishlish learns the balance druid. Dakota JP. Frida M.
Starting point is 01:37:07 Pegos. The self-proclaimed Faye Prince. Tracy P. The Crick-Elf Librarian. Friar Frizz-D. Andy E. Holly. Hyena.
Starting point is 01:37:17 Aha. Kristen Z. The I Will Use What You Love Against You DM. Wow, devastating but fair. Leia C. Page H. Helen of Brizz. May be. Pixel stars. Akash T. Kristen with a K. Cal. Just Cal. Commodore. Galaxy. Edison in. Russell H. A monk named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing, yes, every time. Zero parody.
Starting point is 01:37:47 Nioh's. The novice. Monster Hunter. Our new friend Simon. He was so happy to meet us in a crazy, shared dream. We all sang one big bed. It was nice and weirdly familiar. Laura Life Frost.
Starting point is 01:38:01 Morgan M. Appealing. Sticker. Stephen E. Sidney and Andrew L. Meg, the male carrier of Bohumia, James F. Kappencapie, M.4L, Wayfarer, currently in a trademark dispute with mothership over the patent on the SS Stormbeorn. Andrew B. Coupfresh. Barpo Goodbearl. Bard Barian and Brewer Emeritus of Water Deep. Welshlander.
Starting point is 01:38:30 One big curd. Eric M. Mr. D. Sean J. Mr. S-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- Monster Captain Rene S, Hope's Dagger, the only dagger of hope. Olivia the enchanting bard who will totally be making money and a grand novel off the duck team tails with an on-the-go all-the-stop show. Blue slayed the Artificer, Michaela R, Riley S, Sir Sign 93, FICO, Angry Wheat, the game itself who has an acid arrow from a guy named Melph, wow give it back. Tony G, Corbos' calamitous com shot, Hashtag CCC forever, sorry Jake, alright alright alright.
Starting point is 01:39:13 Josh H, Jack the Jack's Jinks and Rogue, in search of Bohumios' biggest balls. A horse killed by hard one, oh no, Mengo in panadas, rented mules, mystical mustaloidia. Drugdor the Barna-Nator Clementine T, Ezra of the Crick, Caleb L, Obi-Quan, Simone bird life Morgan, Pixie the Kelpie, Can Trip Dumbledore the bearie wearing Barbarian with a bad back, Curtis W, Imj, who sings both parts of Evan Essences, Bring Me To Life, Impressive, and Camden L. Ho! Folks that is all of our elders, thank you so so much for your undying support.
Starting point is 01:39:58 If you would like to join this beautiful council you can do so by going to patreon.com slash nad pod. That's it from us. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next week. Bye bye!

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