Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 24: Serpent Knight (The Dragon Elf Chronicles)
Episode Date: November 18, 2022Duck Team faces the trial of the Serpent Queen! Callie does a little nose hair trimming, Sol reveals yet another alter ego, and Calder is forced to improvise. Support us at Patreon.com/N...addpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Cracking Oak Tree" by klankbeeld at Freesound.org."Sunday Acid Jam" by Georgeke at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Crash Landing" by Emily Axford."A Fairy Remembers" by Emily Axford."Haunting Visages" by Emily Axford."Queen Cirilla" by Emily Axford."All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford."Hospitably Hostile" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford."Forsaken" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
["Fast and Furious"]
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumi, everybody.
Bahumiya.
I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy,
joined by Jake Herwitz, feeling neat about his feet,
because it's never too soon to fight with a boon.
Called her killed it.
Oh, about your, oh, feet, F-E-A-T.
Oh, that was, I was, I was, I was,
I'm thought it was referring to the roll, the,
yeah, the new boots.
That was a vague reference to last time, the, yeah, the new boots that was a vague reference
to last time maybe.
Yeah, that also works.
So I mean, even if you misheard it,
I'm surprised you weren't impressed.
Yeah, I thought it was like foot fetish.
If we had some joke about that or something.
I mean, there was a joke about that.
But also is, yeah, is Calder taking the foot liquor feet?
It's, dude.
Leave me alone, man. Easy, man.
Get up to 10 HP, temporary hit points for every toe you live.
Sick.
Come on, it's too hot.
And the effects of error was like,
I just build super demeaning feats that are so good.
Just for my own sick pleasure. The rule over you guys.
Do I have to lick the toes more?
If you lick any of my NPCs feet,
you get more HP and better stats.
And then of course we've got Emily Axford.
Ready to die for the serpent in the sky.
Calliope, patchy call.
Whoa!
No, no.
You're about to fight her.
We need you.
And you're just gonna die, I guess. That's somewhere around.! You're about to fight her. We need you.
And you're just gonna die, I guess.
I'm gonna go in there.
I'm not sure.
You're gonna go limp and die.
She's laying down her plane.
She challenged you for you to prove yourself.
Not for you to die.
Called her, lick her feet quick.
Oh God.
On it.
Nothing like ruining characters during the intro.
And then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner.
Hey, I just fought you and this is crazy,
but I'm sol-bu-fo and I am not a baby.
Ah!
I love it!
All right.
I love it!
Thank you.
Hey, I just fought you.
And this is crazy.
But here's, I'm sol-bu this is crazy Here's arms all before
Again, it falls apart when you try and sing it. Yeah, when you speak it really. Yeah, that's why I did it spoken word
Yeah, we can all agree it was flawless spoken word. It only fell apart when we were singing
All right guys weird energy in the room
With that let's go ahead
We have a little recap Weird energy in the room. With that, let's go ahead.
We have a different way.
A little recap.
So last time, you met Oberon, the green lord of the Beastlands.
Upon meeting him, he quickly displayed a kinship with Foster,
a revealing that he had created the duck,
as the last request of Callie's mother,
before she was hunted out of existence.
You saw a vision of her final moments, when she pleaded with Oberon to give her daughters
a chance to spare the material realm from the wrath of the serpents, the green lord
aggranted, the request and sent a duck to each of her daughters and has been keeping up
with your adventures ever since.
Well, not in a creepy way.
Not, not in a creepy way. Not, not in a weird way.
Upon being newly reconnected to the material plane,
Oberon realized that he had underestimated humanoids.
The eggs were supposed to destroy humanity
if they reaped too much from the land,
but instead, human magitech had progressed to the point
that the serpents could be manipulated and used as weapons.
Oberon agreed to put aside his feud with the Eladrin if it meant stopping the growing threat
of Alexanderite's network.
You agreed if only to save the remaining serpents from being captured and controlled.
Still, Oberon posited that you could not properly stand against the network unless you
divorced yourself from it entirely, and that meant getting rid of your monestones.
He guided you to some animal lords
that could help for you from the influence of machines
and restore your power afterwards.
After a quick run-in with some shit eating flies
and a giant frog who thought Saul was a baby.
Well, is that quick?
It felt like it was forever.
It was, it was 15, that's all in 15 minutes.
Yeah, yeah.
And we call it a filler arc.
It's true, it's like, it was like 10% of the episode for sure.
After running into the giant frog,
you met your first animal lord, Elder Frogson.
Frogson revealed that he had known the original
Saul on the material plane in the Stone Sw swamp and had trained other bullywugs there.
After a tense challenge that saw everyone get mad at me, IRL, Saul managed to land a blow
on Frogson, earning a boon and ejecting his monestone.
Next, you moved on to a wintery domain populated by boastful giants enjoying a lavish meal.
Calder attempted to procure a wheel of cheese for some reason, but was denied and mistaken
for a baby.
Of course, so much baby stuff.
The giant offered a boon, but only if Calder could defeat him in combat or bring him
the head of the beast.
After conferring with the rest of the team, you
decided to fight him, prompting a panicked response from the giants who totally got their ass
as kicked. Afterwards, you met the so-called beast who revealed himself to be another
animal lord, a tiny mouse of great power. He granted called her a boon and destroyed
his monastone.
Next, you proceeded to a starry plane where you witnessed the stars gather to form a giant
serpent.
The constellation called itself the serpent queen and revealed herself as the mother of
the three eggs that were sent to the material plane.
She thanked you for returning one of her children to her, but said that their jobs of protecting
the wild were still incomplete.
She asked if you would do it in their stead and you agreed and she challenged you to combat to prove your worth
and that's where we are now. Okay everybody go ahead and roll initiative.
Wow, right into it. Right into it. It's one of those apps.
One of those apps with weird vibes up top right in the combat. Oh yeah.
So we got to blow up steam because we don't want to go in a combat.
I know you guys are going to treat my monster with respect when the episode starts the way
it did.
One of those apps where I roll up an 11.
I will be calling this snake maim.
That's going to be a 27 for Saul with his new feet active.
Nice.
He learned.
You decided to take a alert.
Yeah.
Very cool. Saul, you're highly alerted to this,
but obviously everyone sees this as the sky descends on all of you. You guys see the serpent queen.
This endless constellation has just jumped down out of the sky and taken on a corporeal form.
Stars gather and create scales of starfire. She is gargantuan. You cannot see an ending to her
Just going off endlessly into space. She's again gargantuan her head alone is 50 feet tall with starfire
Fangs and eyes that burn like sons. Wow you go on for days ma'am
Indeed I do and just so everyone knows up top,
this is going to be difficult.
You know what?
Honestly, thank you for the clarification.
The other animal guards tell you
that the trials were going to be hard.
No.
Yeah, that's no word.
Improper.
Yes, there's going to be a class action thing
if they're not careful.
No one was upfront about it.
Deeply appreciate that, ma'am.
Sweet.
So at Initiative 27, Saul, that is you.
You feel the ground rock as her body forms and lands
in the grass in front of you.
Her head is still up like 100 feet in the air.
She has not even gotten down yet to fully attack
before you're initiative.
That is you, you are first.
Okay, so I'm gonna rush forward.
I want to make sure that Callie is able to
just give this serpent her best impression.
And in Sol's head the way to do that
is to punch her really hard.
Great.
So Sol's going to enlarge his throat sack and then that air is going to
explode out into his fists, making them big, kind of blowing with this golden light now,
and he rushes forward and he's going to attack. Sweet, go ahead and make your attacks. You
go and you swing into her starfire scales. A brilliant strategy, young frog. Yes, have you met my friend Callie?
She's a big fan.
Yes, we were talking at some length.
Oh, does it 11 hit?
No.
In fact, you break a finger as you hit scales as hard as diamond.
I forget to make a fist and I just...
Oh, disgusting.
Yeah, your fingernail shatter.
Ha ha ha ha.
Oh.
Oh.
Ha ha ha ha.
Dude.
So long.
Oh my.
It's surfing queen.
I could have said it.
The surfing queen recoils.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, man.
That was disgusting.
Are you all right?
I have a second attack.
We need to sit out for a moment. This is just a trial. I'm not trying to kill you. Uh, Saul's mouth is fully just filled with vomit, but he holds it in.
It's just imagining punching someone with fingers out and them instantly break and he's so funny.
It's still getting used to these new arms.
I'm going to take my second attack.
Right.
Does a 15 hit?
It does not.
I'm going to take my second attack.
Right.
Does a 15 hit? It does not. Once again, you are hitting these,
and you're just hitting a wall of, like I said, like diamonds.
Like the hardest surface you could hit.
So it's all like, fully breaks his right hand,
and then he's like, ah, of course, I know what to do now.
Makes a fist and punches again,
and just breaks all of his knuckles.
Well, you curved your fingers that time, that was,
that was the hardest. So I'm gonna take a second. I'm gonna take a second, I know what to do now. Makes a fist and punches again and just breaks all of his knuckles.
Well, you curved your fingers that time.
That was good.
That was good.
I am going to activate my arms,
which means that she's going to need to make a DC 16.
Dexave.
She fails.
You played right into my trap.
She's just so huge, you can't avoid it. You just punch the ground next to her trap she's just so huge you can't avoid it you just
punch the ground next to her and she's just slightly enveloped.
That's seven force damage and that is my bonus action so yeah that's all I can do
this turn.
Okay you do see Saul as you punch down and even using this magic you see that it it does
look like it hits her a little bit like you see that there is a reaction from her scales,
like a slight indentation, but it doesn't seem fully effective.
It seems like she's able to resist it a bit.
Kallie, I made the introduction.
So I'll give a thumbs up and it is just a mangle.
Oh my God.
Is that supposed to be, is that like a rotten banana in your hand?
Good Lord. It's melting. I'm not happy to see it.
There's something engorged in limp in your hand.
Yeah, just the thumbs up, it's just a bone.
It's not supposed to be that thin.
At initiative 20, she is going to take her layer action
and is going to slam her massive body into the grassy plane. You see, she coils
her body and slams to do it. She's essentially doing the worm, wobbling and constricting, pulling
and pushing the earth with her. Everyone go ahead and give me dex saving throws.
All righty. Oh, okay, that's a seven. Oh, Lord.
That's a two.
A 25.
Okay, and here's where the fun begins
because I made a weird encounter.
Ooh, so you see that as she's rocking back and forth,
the land is breaking apart into like little five foot squares.
You guys have to like center yourselves
so that you don't fall over.
And certain squares of land begin shooting up
as others begin falling down.
And the people who rolled even on their deck saving throws
go up and the people who rolled odd
on their deck saving throws go down.
Oh, this is fun.
And I have pre-rolled the random feet
that everybody falls or goes up.
Callie fails.
Callie, you go up 80 feet.
As the land below you rocks as she wobbles next to you.
You shoot up into the air.
You slip.
You fall prone.
And you just shoot up into the night sky 80 feet.
Saul with a 25 dex save.
You stay sturdy, you once again pull air into your gullet
and then expand it out into your feet
to absorb the impact.
But you do the ground below you collapses 70 feet
into a pit.
So you are 70 feet down, you're not prone though,
so you're just down there.
I'll use my fingers to brace myself and
Calder you fail and to fall down 60 feet. Oh, oh, so you fall prone into a pit for right?
14 damage. Is any of it bludgeoning damage? It's all bludgeoning damage. Great. So you guys are gonna see my new boon take effect
Oh I am a great So you guys are gonna see my new boon take effect. Ooh. Ooh.
I am a great armor master.
So like almost like the the vix of April rub commercial taking effect.
You see it's like the cold compress going down on the inflammation and I'll take three
less of that.
So well, we're gonna need to stop so I can watch this commercial.
I am going to have to disappoint you, unfortunately,
because it is, when you take bludgeoning piercing
and slashing damage from attacks, it's reduced by three.
This isn't an attack, you're just funcule.
So, that's just a little preview of what my dude did.
Oh my god!
He's he called her in his full heavy armor.
He's the peak!
That was so mean.
He rubbed oil on himself.
Looks like Brace's himself just really trusts his armor
and then just falls even harder
and crashes truly so hard into the earth.
Wow.
So you do unfortunately take the full damage.
Of course, of course they do.
After the lair action, Calie, that's your turn. So she is so big,
that you're now face to face with her,
Callie, as you're 80 feet in the air. Hello,
baby snake. I think I'm seeing this like diamond
protection. And I'm thinking, why do you invest so much in
protection? If there's not like weakness underneath?
I think when I look her in the eye, I'm like, how do I best you in this?
Go ahead and give me a perception check.
What are you looking for from your aspiring champion?
I'll do your perception versus her deception.
That's an 11.
With an 11, Kali in this moment, looking at her face to face,
just these shimmering scales, you do not see
a weakness.
Okay.
Well, I take out the icicle dagger.
Okay.
I'm like, cold it has gone very far from me, but he's still right at my side.
And I take out my icicle dagger, and I'm going to use my two weapon fighting.
So I'm going to do a attack from my action and attack from my bonus action.
Whoa, Sander Kelly!
Just echoing from deep in the pit. What? What did you say?
25 to hit.
25 does hit. Are you going to tell me that it doesn't work for that reason?
No, you can go ahead and do your damage. Nice.
You can go ahead and do your damage. Go. You can go ahead and do your damage.
Go ahead and do your damage.
It's gonna happen.
Maybe it'll be good.
Okay, well, I'm just going to do,
I'm gonna do a third level smite.
Okay.
And I'm gonna do a flourish to get some AC.
Sick.
Yeah, Kelly, you are 80 feet in the air, face to face
with this golden serpent of starfire,
and you rush forward, I stagger in one hand,
luck blade rapier in the other hand,
and swing with your rapier first.
31 damage.
Nice. 31 damage.
Callie, you stab into a scale.
Only by nature of the luck blade,
being a magical item,
is the only reason it doesn't shatter.
You see, as you go to,
it must forward, it bends, but does not break,
but you do this burst of energy,
and once again, like Saul, you see that it looks like
it does have some effect, like there's a little bit
of an indentation, you see like this tiny,
little scratch after you hit her,
and it does look like you did some damage,
but that it wasn't fully effective.
Okay, then maybe I won't use my icicle dagger.
Do I see a spot that I could face step onto?
Like is this armor that I could like face step onto
and get inside her?
She doesn't have her mouth open right now.
The scales are tightly packed together,
the only way to without a better
way of saying it get inside her would be to go in her mouth or in her nose.
Okay then can I hold my movement and whenever she talks next jump inside her
fucking mouth? Sure. You see she looks at you suspiciously. I think I don't feel
good about this because this is how I want to prove myself worthy of her.
I don't do that after all.
Okay.
I'm not in range to give anyone bodic,
so I guess I just,
hey, fuck it, I'll take a swing with the ice dagger.
With the ice dagger?
With the ice dagger.
Also, it's 25 to hit.
Hits?
I will do another third level smite ill advise this time
I'm like angling away from arcane smite and towards
Serpentine smite
Just 21 damage 21 damage once again, it does not look like it has a full effect
But I will say as you sort of try to lean into
Drawing power from the serpent and drawing power
from the wild, you see there was that younger serpent that had jumped up into the sky and joined
its mother up in the night sky as like a smaller constellation. You see as you swing the ice knife
forward, it flies down and gathers around you and there's a burst of stars as you swing into the surburque.
What was that? Carly, what happened?
Just down at the pit.
I think I broke my dagger.
Hold on, I'm digging to tholders.
That was a gift.
You can't get mad at me for breaking a gift.
I didn't do it on purpose.
Yeah, I'm in a bad place.
That's not really a gift if you're gonna get mad about it.
You open her mouth, Carly, now.
I'm just in a bad move.
I got damage.
I look into a mouth.
Really considered jumping in.
God, this is how I want to pledge myself to someone.
All right, after Cali's turn,
that is a serpent queen's turn.
First thing's first, okay, we've got the two dudes
down in the pits.
She's gonna go ahead and just try to slam her body into
Calder and just crush him harder in the pit,
which arguably Calder might be into.
Would that be bludgeoning damage?
That would be an attack and that would be bludgeoning damage,
but we'll see if she hits first.
Only 16 hit.
That misses.
Misses.
Slams into the ground next year and you're able to roll out of the way.
You're in this terrifying claustrophobic space where the land has gone up around you, and
you've got this giant serpent slamming down trying to get to you.
Okay, I'm already down here.
That's fine.
And then she's going to try to do the same thing to Saul and she rolls with disadvantage.
I miss this both of you guys.
You're too far away.
She's too big.
Oh, he's small just that.
Both of you get up here.
She's going to then go ahead and take a bite attack
against Callie.
My AC is 26 right now.
Jesus.
She fully misses.
Callie, you see.
As she misses with her butt, I look into the mouth.
You look into the mouth?
I don't know how to say it.
Go ahead and give me your another perception check.
15.
15.
Callie, you see enormous glowing fangs.
Just rose and rose of these very dangerous teeth, but beyond it you see pink muscle
After the serpent's turn that is called her's turn called her you are down in a pit. Okay
How hard will it be for me to get into her mouth? Oh my god. You are
140 feet away. Okay, she's 80 feet up in your cowly and you're 60 feet in the ground.
What are you saying about my mouth?
Forget it.
Dude, I have anything with that.
Oh, okay, so if I move 20 feet, I could theoretically hit her mouth with scorching right,
which we're calling an ice-ray. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You could definitely hit her with with scorching ray, which we're calling an ice ray.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
You could definitely hit her with a spell.
Then I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna climb 20 feet,
or move 20 feet towards her mouth.
Okay.
Cast.
Freezing ray.
You start climbing up her scales of starfire.
You feel your hands burning underneath you.
You hold your hand up and begin shooting freezing rays
at her mouth.
Here's the deal I'll make you call her.
You'll have to roll with disadvantage
if you're trying to hit like the inside of her mouth,
like the roof of her mouth.
I guess I'll do that.
Sick.
I was already a bad gamble.
I rolled a three.
You accidentally shoot some ice right in front of you
and begin sliding down her scales. I scoop up the ice right in front of you and begin sliding down
her scales. I scoop up the ice onto my broken ice dagger. What's going on down there?
It's so fixed. Thank you. Okay, as the last thing I do then, I use my goals. You get three
shots a second. So take two more. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's a 26 and a 24. You got it. You hit with that one.
Um, so yeah, you shoot as she says, what's going on down there?
You shoot a perfectly timed freezing ray.
Uh, go ahead and do your damage.
Eight.
Blink it or not.
Is she down?
Eight damage.
Callie, you are face to face with her,
as she opens her mouth to speak
and called her shoots a freezing ray from below.
That shoots up and hits her directly
in the roof of the mouth,
and you see she reacts a bit.
She shakes her head.
Ah!
My gums, my sensitive gums.
Ha ha ha ha.
Callie, she has sensitive gums.
I don't tell anyone that.
I was already thinking,
I was just talking to my knife.
And then I was like, no, I don't want to do that.
I floss all the time.
Kelly, she brushes too hard.
Her gums are exposed.
She has receding gum lines, Kelly.
She is.
You still have one more shot, Calder.
One more shot, okay.
That is a 21 and a 25.
Does the 21 hit?
The 21 does hit.
Yes.
Seven.
Seven damage.
Seven real ass damage.
Ah, leave my teeth alone.
It's gonna hurt if you keep on moving like that.
Just let us get it the root of the cause.
And I'll also use my bonus action to command Callie
to take an attack.
Yeah.
You know the vulnerable gums.
Whoa.
Callie, you have a rare chance to charge on Ultras'
Helm, I believe.
Whoa.
Nice.
Yes.
Use my power.
Go for the gums, Callie.
15 is going to miss.
15 is going to miss.
Callie, you go to swing at gonna miss. 15 is gonna miss.
Scali, you go to swing at her.
She quickly closes her mouth
and your sword just pinks off her powerful scales.
That was a gift.
That was a gift.
After Calder's turn, that is the lair action.
She's once again going to do the worm.
This is my thing.
So funny. She begins slam to do the worm. This is my thing. So funny.
She begins slamming into the ground.
Everybody give me dex saving throws.
21.
18.
11.
Okay.
Everyone goes up and down same as they did last time.
Kali, you shoot up an extra 30 feet.
You are now 110 feet in the air,
but you pass your deck save this time.
You do not fall prone.
Call to remind me you're safe.
21.
21 odd number.
You continue going down.
You actually only fall 20 feet,
so you're just back down where you were 60 feet.
Fuck.
So you just fall back into the same exact pit.
The land doesn't change at all.
Saul and 11 fails and you fall an additional 60 feet.
So you are going to land prone and take nine damage
as you hit the ground.
Okay, I think that damage will be halved
because of an ability I have as a monk.
Sick, but yeah, I think I'm still prone.
Okay, Saul, you are now 130 feet deep into a pit.
Saul, hello, after are now 130 feet deep into a pit.
Saul, hello, after the layer action. Oh, sorry, Saul, that should have been your turn,
but you can take your turn now.
Okay, Saul quickly pulls out some extra bandages
and wraps up his hands so that they're functional.
Oh man, that's not going to do anything.
Who asked you?
I don't know, I just felt like commenting on it.
I want to try something a little silly.
I want to try and like run along the strip
between spine.
Okay.
Try and get in a position where I'm on her head.
I don't know if I can do that in one shot.
Okay, so her head is up 80 feet and you're 130 feet down,
so she's 210 feet up.
All right, so I'll use a bonus action step of the wind.
Okay.
My movement is have because I was prone.
So you get about within 100 feet of her head,
called her.
You see from down to the pit, suddenly Saul
begins running up her spine, just climbing up this giant serpent,
glowing in the night.
He's just careful with that thumb, man.
I thought the one I activated my powers,
he would fix it, but it didn't, it made it worse.
It's bigger.
They're really bloated.
He's the key, the ground.
Yeah, Saul, you begin climbing up her.
And I will say, now that you're gripped to her,
you can do a deck save to like hang onto her,
so you don't fall any further down.
Gotcha.
After Saul's turn, that is Kali's turn.
Okay, I should have done this sooner. I'm gonna try and jump into a mouth.
You're gonna try and jump into a mouth? Okay.
Kali, I'm gonna say that's gonna be essentially like holding your action until she tries to bite.
Okay.
Okay, okay. Kali, you ready yourself.
You kind of fake going forward, like you're're going to attack to kind of go to her
And she is go she is next. She's going to jump forward and go to take a bite at you
Here's how we'll do this. Why do we do contested athletics checks?
She is strong, but does not have proficiency in athletics
But I rolled pretty damn good.
Number to be is a 21.
I got a 21 also.
Oh, roll off.
Okay, so Callie jumps up into her mouth.
She tries to slam her mouth down
to stop you from getting any deeper.
You are reaching up and grabbing the teeth,
trying to stay in.
What are you doing, Gellie?
Stop it, stop it. up and grabbing the teeth, trying to stay in. What are you doing, Kelly?
Stop it!
Stop it!
The fairy has become the dentist.
Okay, that time she just got a 14.
I got a 10.
You just got a 10.
Okay, Kelly, you are spit out, but I will say that that counts as her bite attack.
Kelly, you're in kind of a stalemate with her here, but she is going to try to slam
down on Calder.
Um, fuck it, I'm gonna, I have a bonus action still.
Yeah, ooh.
Um, I'll just face up into her mouth.
Oh, yeah.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Sick, okay.
So, yeah.
I didn't realize it was gonna be so hard to get into her mouth.
I would have just done it from the start.
Yeah, so you, yeah, you guys are wrestling back and forth.
Fuck it, I don't have to lie. I'm not athletic. Out of here. Fucking dexterous. Suddenly you, yeah, you guys are wrestling back and forth. Fuck yeah, I don't have time for this.
I'm not athletic.
Out of here.
Fucking dexterous.
Suddenly you disappear into her mouth.
Whoa, wait, you can do that.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
You based up to Callie.
You guys see Callie has disappeared inside of the serpent.
She's gonna take a slam attack down onto Calder.
She looks really bad now.
Get out.
20 to hit, Calder.
Shield.
Shield, Jesus.
Yeah, arcane shield comes up.
Blasts her back as she attempts to crush you with her body.
She's going to use her third attack as opposed to going after Saul who's just running up her back right now.
She's going to attempt to constrict Cali.
So Cali, you face step into her mouth.
You're like down her throat. You see all this muscle around you. She's gonna attempt to constrict Callie. So Callie, you face step into her mouth,
you're like down her throat,
you see all this muscle around you.
She's go, it's pretty gross.
You see the muscle begins to constrict
as she tries to crush you inside.
Yeah, that's right, constrict me.
All you're doing is further recreating the rebirth.
I'm going to experience the metaphorical rebirth.
Callie, she does not manage to hate you to beat your AC.
So once again, you're able to hold your arms out
and sort of wrestle with these muscles
as they try to constrict you,
and you're able to stop it.
After her turn, that is called her turn.
If I shoot more freezing rays at her mouth,
am I gonna hit Kali?
No. Great. I'll gonna hit Cali. No.
Great.
I'll do that.
Sick.
Okay.
I will say at this point, you won't do it with disadvantage anymore because she is fully
coughing and hacking, trying to spit Cali out.
She's got me.
She's got me.
Thanks, Cali.
I'm like a pub in your throat.
I think we're pub in your throat. A pub in your throat.
I think we're making a great impression.
Oh, and a 22 to hit.
22 hits.
God, it's like I've got a pub in my throat.
A 22 and 18 and a dirty 20.
Only the 22 hits.
Fuck me.
It's got 21 AC.
Nine damage.
Nine damage.
Does seem to affect her.
You see it hits the raw gums between two teeth.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Stop everyone.
Stop everyone.
You needed this.
Your gums are filthy.
This is a deep cleaning.
Back up to Sol's turn.
Sol, you are running up her back.
You are 100 feet away from her head.
If I use another dash action, I can get there because my, combined, my normal dash is 90,
so I'm going to use a bonus action step of the wind, sec, which will get me there.
And as I approach her head, I want to pull out two grenades.
Oh!
And I want to plug her nostrils with grenades.
Oh my god.
Good god. Yeah, you go up. You
you plug grenades into her nose. This is not how the trials of the animal launch is supposed to go.
This is a full body cleansing grenades up the nose man. Come on. Okay, she's gonna do dex saving
throws. Okay, so as an action you can throw a grenade up to 60 feet. So you can do one grenade as an action.
Oh, just one grenade? One grenade as an action.
Oh, hoping you wouldn't catch that.
Oh, so you're being like set this precedent.
Yes, I've got two hands, man.
Go ahead and it is 5d6 of damage.
Okay, shove it up her nose. She does seem concerned right away.
Have you ever done a nitty-pot? It's gonna be kind of like that. She fails.
Go ahead and do the full 5d6. 5d6. So funny and stupid.
Caulder's in a hole. Sol is sticking grenades up her nose and Callie has been swallowing.
A conjunction. But I have a fucking tech bum on me that I'm gonna use in a second.
Injection, but I have a fucking tech bum on me that I'm gonna use in a second
Listen, we didn't want to go down this path, but it seems like the mouth is the only option or if this is are the only way Well, you say it like that. It sounds weird. Stop making it weird. I don't feel good about it
That is 16 damage 16 damage sweet
Like the world's most disgusting nitty-pots,
a bomb explodes in one of her nostrils,
shooting blood out of the other one.
I hang on to her, Yvula, so she doesn't sneeze.
Ah!
Ah!
I want to sneeze, but I can't.
I want to sneeze so bad my nose is so itchy.
I have to look at the moon.
So just quietly says, thank you for this opportunity, Namb. These are the noble trials of the animal lord.
After that, that's the layer action.
I'm gonna need deck saves from everybody.
Saul, if you fail this, you'll be flung from who?
Oh boy.
Do you need a deck save from me?
Yeah, I'll say you'll get knocked prone.
And she could have advantage on you potentially.
Shout out to the two crew.
Jesus Christ.
Call her, you fall another 80 feet down into the pit.
Well, that's, wait, it's even, shouldn't I go up?
Oh, sorry.
You go 80 feet up.
Oh, so you are on level ground.
So you're back to where you started.
Oh, call her, you just go back to where you start. Go. Go back to where you were.
What an honor to be at zero.
I get a nine.
A nine, six, fourteen.
Call you fall prone.
Saul, you are tossed.
Full.
And you are going to fall 100 feet.
Can I see him from through the nostril?
Absolutely not.
The nostril is really big now, because I blew it up.
You're saying that the nostril is not like a skylight,
because I just like, I don't know that I buy that.
Yeah, it seems like it should be the windshield of a car
anyway.
Calder, as you rise up and finally get back on level ground,
you look up, you see, Cali has disappeared.
Saul is up there shoving bombs
that they heard, nose fighting with her. As she's swinging and crashing into the ground,
you see that Saul is thong off into the night. Her head was 100 feet in the air, so Saul
is going to fall 100 feet. Don't land on your thumb. Whatever you do. It's all you fall for 35 damage. 35 damage.
Ooh. It's all ejects his tongue and it balloons out into an umbrella.
And he negates all that damage with slow fall.
Oh! Whoa! Is that that's a reaction that you use?
Yeah. Six. 40 damage reduced.
I thought I was going to have to feather, I was sad I couldn't feather follow you,
but I'm glad I couldn't.
Yes, I saw you command this new magical power
within yourself.
You balloon your tongue out and you slow your fall
and you land next to Calder on the level ground down here.
Hey, that was insane.
Wait, was that, is your body full of hydrogen?
What's, what happened?
I got magic frog gas inside me.
I don't get you.
I pop my head out of an astral.
Hey.
That's not a Cali.
That was awesome.
Thank you.
By the way, grenades work.
After the lair action,
Cali, that's back to your turn.
Okay.
You are inside of this giant serpent.
Question is, do I try to attack?
Do I just use another grenade?
So you do see, so here's the weird thing about her,
is that it seems that by creating this corporeal form,
she has created a body,
but it's not totally real.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's not made for her to digest anything.
So all she's able to do is try to like crush you
by controlling her muscles.
There's no like acid in here or anything like that.
So you're kind of relatively safer
than you normally would be being inside a giant worm.
Just a big wet tube.
Just a big wet tube. Just a big wet tube.
Actually, it's kind of a dry tube.
Ooh.
I mean, I really want my metaphorical rebirth
to be out of an Austral now.
But that's the only thing I know.
Why don't you say in there?
What are you allergic to?
We need you to sneeze.
I think I can do more damage just trying to attack her.
So I'm going to try to just attack her rather than use a tech call
Daddy 20 dirty 20 hits on the inside
Okay, yes different AC when you're not looking at her scales
Yeah, believe it or not
Believe or not throat just stab stabbing into the inside of someone's throat is more damaging than their scales
my weakness.
Okay, I use a third level smite for 32 damage.
32 damage.
You guys from the outside see a glow inside of the serpent's throat as she reacts and
hacks and coughs.
That seems to do a lot of damage.
You see the muscles around you begin spasming and recoiling.
And then I think I'm going to use the ice dagger to try to,
I want to put it in the nose hairs.
Oh, okay.
Try it.
And try and rip out the nose.
I'm going to sneeze.
I'm going to sneeze.
That's super gross. Kelly, that was a gift. That is a 24 to sneeze. I'm going to sneeze. That's super gross, Kelly.
That was a gift.
That is a 24 to hit.
24, yeah, that gets the inside of the nose.
I'm going to snobbble out.
I'll do a second level, Smite.
Jesus Christ.
Only 17 damage.
Only 17 damage.
It does seem to affect her fully though.
That is her turn.
She's going to try to constrict Kali and-
We did an nostril.
With her nostril.
Oh, come on, what did she do to you?
She sucks in and tries to hack you out like a loogie.
A pupe.
Jesus Christ, shout out to the two crew.
She's only done damage to you guys
by doing the worm and flinging you down.
She misses on that. She's going to slam to you guys by doing the worm and flinging you. She misses
on that. She's going to slam down and try to crush you guys. That is a 29 to hit
calder. That does it. Yeah. Nothing I can do. Okay, so that is 22 damage calder. Was
that an intentional, uh, bloodshedding? That was intentional. Bloodshedding damage. You
could take off three from that. That's right. 19 mother fuckers holy shit that guy down there's good and wearing armor
Then it's gonna take a slam on Saul that's 22 to hit Saul. Oh, oh disadvantage. He hasn't hit you yet. Yeah
Still still hits she hits 22 is the lower one. Yeah, good. I can finally use my hellish review sick
Okay, oh wait get her to use my reaction for this round
You did yeah, yeah, it's a reaction shit. Okay, I just take it
Okay, you just get a lock it with my hands
You put your hands out and yell hellish rebuke and nothing happens
Just played right into my trap again
Blood just sprays from your broken fingers as you try to cast out. You take 30 damage
as a slam. Yes, when I hit I actually do damage believe it or not. Very impressive ma'am
after the Serpent Queen that's Calder's turn. Calder, her head is 100 feet up in the air
and you are on level playing ground here.
Level ground finally. Okay, so I'm going to grow ice skates on my feet and cast expeditious
retreats. Sick. That means I should be able to get close to her head this round, right?
If you are just running for it, if you've got a speed of 30, you can get 90 feet.
Okay, I'm going to go the full way. Full 90.
You go full 90 and you get you skate up her scales. Saul you see from down
below the silhouette of Calder in the night going up the starfire scales
climbing her body and you get up to her head. Apollo O'Hennel style.
Wow. Then I will action surge. Sick.
I will say, I said her head was like 50 feet long.
I'll say getting within 10 feet of her,
you can make swings with your sword.
All right, sick.
Because she is coughing and sneezing.
I keep popping in and out of the nostril.
Stop.
Every breath.
God, it's like getting a COVID test.
Just cut it out.
It's over, Calder.
I will also call on Ultras and use his strength for both of these attacks.
Whoa.
Sweet.
Go ahead and add two more charges to the helm,
and you can add a D12 to each of these attacks.
Okay, so that is a 25 to hit.
Hits?
The other one's only a 19.
Okay, 19 misses. Okay
Fuck me. I rolled a two on the D12
14 damage 14 damage you hear
Ultras laugh in your head
You're the one that missed with your strength. I didn't miss let me out. Let me out. No show you how much I hit
You do see though with your slash. You do actually affect her and she recoils and reels back and you have to hang under her scales to not be thrown off.
I can't wait to punch inside that guy's mouth.
After Calder's turn, that's Saul's turn. Saul back on the ground.
Yeah, I'm just gonna rinse and repeat. I'm gonna do step of the wind. Prepare another grenade.
just gonna rinse and repeat. I'm gonna do step of the wind, prepare another grenade.
It's same.
Get into her nostril.
You get flung off, hit the ground horribly hard.
Jump back up, just, up, up, up, up, up, up.
Climb back on the horse.
The grenade hits me in the face.
She's so good.
I like you're out of her nose.
I'm actually gonna cover this one in paprika.
Ah!
Ah!
She rolls a three, just blows up in her nose.
My eye staggers all caught up in her nose hair.
Oh, come on, Kelly.
Why does this snake have nose hair?
If she's going to give that back,
she's done you a disservice.
She manifested this physical form
and gave herself nose hair.
It's really soft nose hair.
It's like lying in like Irish grass.
Ooh, Cali saves them.
I can use it for knitting.
What are you two talking about?
I look at it stuck up in my icicle dagger and I think, yeah, I think I'm going to save
you some.
Please roll your damage.
18 points of damage.
Sick.
Yeah.
Once again, explodes after Sol's turn.
That is the layer action.
Kali is inside, so it can just fall prone.
Doesn't really affect her, but everybody go ahead
and get me deck saves.
Colder and Sol.
This time, we don't have to worry about you guys
going deeper into the land, but you do have to worry
about getting flung off.
Uh-huh.
16.
16 passes. Colder getting flung off. 16. 16 passes.
Call her you hang on.
12.
Saul, you are once again flung 100 feet off of her.
You did say rinse and repeat.
I'll say the, the, the, don't look a grenade went off.
37 damage, Saul. Slow-fall it again. Slow-fall it again, sweet. Reaction to slow-fall.
You're able to absorb the damage once again. Balloon tongue. Land on the ground.
I did my imaginary half. He is my least favorite. Let me just say that.
There's someone inside of me killing me. And he is my least favorite. Let me just say that. There's someone inside of me killing me and he is my least favorite. I'm six Morgan aides. I'm Cali. I'm gonna say actually that
as you fail, you feel yourself slip away from the nose and begin falling into
the abyss sliding down her body inside. Grab to the nose head. Just for flavor. Sure.
Okay, go back up to the nose head.
Ellie falls into the abyss.
It's super cool and scary and cinematic.
She uses her movement to climb back up
and rip out the serpent's nose hairs.
I'm gonna cry onto my icicle.
I saw it.
I thought I swallowed it.
I'm gonna cry. I crack onto my icicle.
Ah!
I saw it!
I thought I swallowed you when you stopped.
Stop!
I'm going to sneeze when I can't.
It's not no-tat, it's no silk, I think.
Oh!
And then I'm going to take out my luck blade
and try and like a shave off the no-silt.
Val, go ahead and make your attack.
19, does that hit?
19 hits on the inside yet.
Okay.
And we view a silk scarf, Kelly.
I'm going to do a second level serpentine silk's my ass.
And a bardic.
Flourish.
And a slush.
Hey, yeah, you see this scarf, it's pure snake hair, man.
Pure snake nose area.
You wouldn't think it, but they've got a lot.
28.
Okay.
And then I'm gonna do...
You guys see on the outside,
her scales begin cracking and light
to begin shooting out.
Oh, uh oh.
And then I'm gonna try to use the ice dagger.
You stab in with the ice dagger.
Yeah, to shave off more no silk.
Just cringes.
You're welcome for that, by the way.
That's my cring.
Ha ha ha.
Give her the silk.
Jesus Christ.
I'm gonna do another second level smile on the silk.
Is the baby serpent just watching all of this?
The baby's serpent isn't able to talk or anything
But you see it blinking and just staring at the whole scene looking kind of confused
Just majestic and confused
It's beautiful isn't it?
40 damage
Galley
Finish the serpent queen
Okay, so like almost like I'm making cotton candy
I like.
Oh, what the fuck?
It's too much.
She's just swinging her outer nose.
No, so I get it like real good and sticky.
And then I rip.
Oh, this is related.
You guys see from the outside,
the serpent queen begins glowing from the inside
as she begins pulling in a terrible sneeze,
just, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, Eventually shattering as she lets out a mighty sneeze exploding
Callie out of her mouth, expelling her.
You guys all crash into the ground as you see her scales break apart and she explodes into pure starfire.
You see she shoots back up into the sky and scatters once again forming the constellation.
That was weird.
Cradle my bouquet of 17 stars silk.
I sign a silk.
That was weird.
You guys.
That was.
Yeah.
I, I want to say well done.
But I think in all honesty, I don't, I don't know that I can. I feel like, okay, can I just ask you,
like, where did you see this going?
Right?
Because you're acting like, wow, that's so weird.
But you also set us up to enter your all-sense.
Okay, well, you did the worm.
You were doing the worm.
I was, I was, I was, I was, you started this.
I agree that I was doing the worm. I get admit that the worm that was on me making it silly
But my
You said the tone
Okay, my number of you was that this was about like
Journeying into the belly of the beast and kind of being brave and charging forward into the unknown to prove yourself
but you guys You know use the use the oh word a lot, orifice, and then we're pulling at nose hairs.
I don't know that, I don't know that that needed to happen necessarily.
Points for creativity though, I feel like Kelly gets two boobs.
I asked the nose silk to solve for him to get started.
He starts bawling it up into a little yarn ball.
Jesus Christ. I do need new boots.
I have to I have to like all of you.
So everyone could stop talking. A lot of people say that.
All right, well regardless of how things went down, you have proven yourself worthy.
Now things went down. You have proven yourself worthy.
You guys feel the wind around you begin to pick up as she sucks in and blows out a great breath,
sprinkling you with star dust, Cali. Um, and as this surge of energy flows through you, you feel your monastone beginning to come out of your belly like extract, would you like to keep it or destroy it?
What I want to do is I want it to sort of like shatter and cover me like body glitter.
Or like, do we, but also, starry?
It shatters into star dust and encapsulates you in this glittery shine. And you hear the serpent queen goes,
yes, this suits you. And Callie, you have been freed from the network and claimed your own power.
You have also earned a boon and can take a feat. You can take either Sentinel or mounted combatant. Ooh, a mounted combatant.
And Kali, as you feel this new power,
as your monestone shatters, and you see this starfire swirling
around you, you hear the serpent queen speak.
And she speaks to all of you.
She looks at all three of you and goes,
we are bound now, Our destinies intertwined much like nose hairs
around the shore. I know I were all thinking it so I just said it. I gave you a boon for
passing my test, but consider this a token of friendship. You see, she sends down the smaller serpent. Once again appears as a
constellation. It's the one that you had saved, the smaller serpent. It flies over
each of you and sprinkles star dust. And as you guys are all filled with power,
you all gain access to a new spell. Oh, Calder, you feel that as this power enters you,
you suddenly disappear and rematerialize 30 feet away
in a shimmer of stars, and you have learned
the spell Misty Step.
Yes!
Can we call it Frosty Step?
Frosty Step?
Yeah, you see Frost is left behind
where Calder has just disappeared.
I put up a slippery one wet.
I'm always good to be careful.
Careful over there.
Saul, your throat sack fills with starfire and you let out a burst of energy from your
mouth that empowers your allies.
Calder and Cali, you guys feel emboldened just being around Saul and Saul.
You have learned Silvery Barbs and you can use this once per day and you can recharge it
with two key points whenever you'd like.
And Silvery Barbs is a spell, it's a reaction.
You magically distract the triggering creature and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement for another creature.
The trigger and creature must re-roll the D20 and use the lower roll. So it's almost like a
a luck point or something like that where you can make somebody re-roll. Nice.
You can then choose a different creature you can see within range. The chosen creature has
advantage on the next attack roll, ability check or saving throw it takes within one minute.
A Creature can be empowered by only one use of the spell
at a time.
Yeah, Saul just breaks into a beautiful frog song,
which enemies would find hideous and weird,
but my allies find beautiful.
Yeah, you guys.
Seriously, dude.
You guys were a little disgusted by hearing Saul call out
to the bigger frog that was
calling him a baby, but you feel yourself enchanted by the shrug song. You're
kind of being won over by it. It's actually yeah it's nice and basic.
It kind of rips. And Callie, you see the constellation of the baby serpent disappears and you suddenly feel yourself jolt up as it materializes underneath you in a corporeal form.
You have learned find a steed.
And this is an avatar of the serpent that you saved.
This has War of War stats.
Oh my God, I was literally like,
well, I can't really take notes.
Oh my God.
That's why I offered mounted.
Come back in a minute.
Oh.
So, Kali, now you can do the worm whenever you want.
You're right.
I do the worm on the worm.
You're right.
The only thing that was stopping me was my mental block.
Now that I have a seat on him,
I feel confident enough to do it.
It's absolutely synchronized.
It looked so weird and unsettling.
We really have grown.
The worm also turns.
You see, as you do the worm on top of the worm,
with a sword full of nose hair,
the serpent queen just looks at you from the constellation.
There's just an awkward beat.
Yes, we're all done.
I think I'm, I take a break from doing the worm.
I'm getting really serious.
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Let's all get really serious turning on a dime. Can I see like if I touch this
Stead do I see in the sky where the serpent is yeah, like does affecting the avatar like
Yeah, I'll say that as as you pet the serpent you see the
stars shimmer in the sky like across the serpent's back okay um so I think since I feel like this
avatar like it can it can sort of like hear me via this avatar I think I whisper in its ear like
okay the one you and me we're gonna get your siblings back.
And I just see if there has any effect on it,
like does it here?
Yeah, you see, it looks up at you
with these big curious eyes.
And then you see the constellation of it
begins kind of swirling and sparkling.
You see it breaks apart and forms three little serpents that hang up in the sky.
But then you see the two other ones, the stars fall out of the sky and break apart.
Oh, so heartbreaking.
Okay, well, I know I did you wrong once, but I'm going to do you right now. fall out of the sky and break apart. Oh, so heartbreaking.
Okay, well, I know I did you wrong once, but I'm going to do you right now, but I want
to know, I'm here, I'm in your service, but what do you want of me?
Do you want devotion?
Or do you want vengeance against the people who did this to you, in your siblings?
Or do you want redemption.
Kali, much like your connection with foster,
or foster doesn't speak, but you get certain feelings,
and you can kind of feel like an intuition.
You lock eyes with the serpent,
and you hear the word protection.
Protection. I can work with that. you hear the word protection.
Protection. I can work with that.
And yeah, you feel this, um, this serpent was sent to the material plane to return the
Fey Wild to the Wild if the Fey were to abuse the land, essentially. And the world has changed greatly.
The serpent was manipulated.
It was used as a weapon, but it still has this sense
that it wants to protect the wild,
that it wants to protect the natural cycle.
And now that it's bonded to you,
it sees alladren and humans as animals, as like part of the
wild that it needs to protect and help in this upcoming fight against the
machines, against the growing network.
Okay. I hear you, I feel you, I give it a little pet, and I think that's as much of an answer as I need.
You see, it swirls around you as starlight and star dust gathers around you.
Kelly, what did it say?
Oh, did you hear my side of the conversation?
Yeah, I heard you ask the question, I didn't hear anything.
Yeah, it was kind of like, what do you need of me if I'm like sort of like your night?
And I think it gave me, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I think it gave me a pretty clear answer.
I thought, I'm amazing.
I'm forward.
Cool.
Yeah, but called it, get over here because this starlight
is like, cool, it's cold.
It's like you.
Yeah, it reminds me of you.
Called her jogs, I put some of it on my hands.
Oh, yeah. Oh my god. You're thumb. That's what that was.
I thought you were holding a rotten banana with a fucking chicken wing.
Oh, don't show me that. God.
You think that's bad. You should see the other hand.
It's even worse. It's a bunch of rotten bananas.
Yeah, you see the starlight wraps around
caulder and saw as well and called and saw your finger snap back into place. And caulder,
you feel the cold light. Yeah, can I lay on hands on to Saul's hands? Yes, yes, lay on
them hands on hands. Just a very slow high five.
You're having this discussion amongst yourselves as this giant constellation of a serpent is in the sky and she just goes,
well, I send you onward with the blessings of the serpent.
I think I cut see politely and I say I've pledged myself to your child so in a way
I'm pledged to you and I hold out a shooting star flower which is it's a wild flower that grows in
wetlands and places with enough moisture. You hold out the flower, you see it disappears and appears on her head. She goes,
pledged yourself to my child, very well, grand baby snake. Go now. Return your world to its natural order order and her eyes glow kind of menacingly or I will do it for you. And she scatters back into
a million stars that disperse into the sky. You see the land rumbles and rearranges itself to a
level grassy plane. And you guys are left alone here on this impossibly starry night.
Wow.
This...
I think I make another star map, right?
Yeah.
Did I do that one time?
Yeah, on the beach.
Yeah, this is quite possibly the most perfect opportunity to do this.
Yeah.
Someone give me a piece of paper or parchment or an animal skin.
You see Foster throws up a piece of paper.
I'm gonna punch out little holes to look like the night sky.
This is definitely a day to remember.
Yeah, this is one to keep.
Yeah, let's sleep out under the stars.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Yeah, you guys take out your bed rolls.
You don't even need to set up a tent.
You can set up a little fire for some warmth
and cook some dinner if you'd like.
But it's a perfect night.
There's no bugs out or anything like that.
I think that the piece of paper that Foster threw up
is from my empty who am I journal?
Oh wow.
And I think in this moment, I realized I was like,
like I was asking the wrong question.
I was asking who I am when I should have been asking
like, what do I want to do?
And so I'm just like, good fucking red ins.
Who needs naval gazing when you could be stock gazing?
Oh, you furiously poke through the paper.
While we're sitting all around, I think,
because Saul was the only one that kept his monestone,
he's gonna take some of the snake floss
and attach it and make a little necklace for himself. So he can kind of remember where he came from, was the only one that kept his monestone. Yeah. He's gonna take some of the snake floss
and attach it and make a little necklace for himself.
So he's kind of, remember where he came from
but also where he's going.
Sweet.
So you make a little necklace.
You guys see it glows against the fire
from the campfire.
And Kelly, you feel in the beast lands,
you feel kind of a stronger connection to foster,
maybe even than you had before.
And you feel foster hops up into your lap, but here, instead of feeling kind of warm and fluffy,
like you normally does, it feels a little bit cold.
Are you okay? I think I like, like when you're trying to like warm up a child,
I do like that little rubbing of the show. like, hmm, like when you're trying to like, um, warm up a child,
I do like that little rubbing of the show.
You see, you see Foster looks okay,
but you feel as you pet him to warm him up,
your hands turn blue like a winter elitron.
Oh, that's why.
Hmm.
That's really nice. I think I just, um, I think I just scoop him up and cuddle him because I'm taking comfort
in his origin.
You cuddle up with Foster and do you guys all go to bed for the night?
But Calder, you do have some charges on your health.
Okay. So I use three charges, I believe. Yes, you do have some charges on your health. Okay.
So, I use three charges, I believe.
Yes, you use three charges.
So, Calder, you fall asleep, probably feeling a little bit more comfortable after getting
all these powers from the Beastlands, after facing your fears with these giants and everything,
these boastful huntsmen, you go to sleep and you close your eyes, and you find yourself once again on this icy plane,
but you look around and see that the force field is gone.
And you just see this dot in the distance,
charging towards you, getting bigger and bigger and bigger,
go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.
I'm coming for you, you piece of shit.
I want you to start so far away.
No more magic between us.
It's not my choice where you show up.
It's a dirty 20.
Yeah, that'll do it.
OK, you see as he gets about like a hundred feet away
from you, still charging for you, this very long gate
coming for you,
earthquaking underneath you.
You are able to kind of stumble back,
concentrate, think about going back into your body,
think about going back to Cali and Saul,
and you wake up the next morning.
God, yeah, I think even as I'm making fun of him,
I'm just like, I'm wondering why isn't it working?
Why am I left yet?
Why am I like it? It always happens one second after I think. Yeah, I'm just like I'm wondering why isn't it working yet? Why am I left yet?
It always happens one second after I think I'm dead. So yeah, so you guys wake up
It's a bit disorienting because it is still nighttime. So you wake up still
Exactly the same starry sky. Oh, check the star map. Did they move?
Did they? It looks like it's holding up against the sky. It looks a little different It looks like the serpent queen may have been doing the worm a little bit in the middle of the night. Wow. You guys didn't see that, did you? I thought I saw everyone with their eyes closed. That's just your thing. That's all I'm a serpent. I actually was transcing, so. Oh God, you saw the whole thing.
I saw you practicing to see how many underlations you could get.
And you guys, after a bit, after you wake up and kind of get your bearings, suddenly the ground
begins rumbling and the great tree that houses Oberon suddenly bursts from the ground and
grows rapidly.
You see the canopy of leaves quickly emerges over you,
blocking your view of the sky,
and roots grow beneath your feet.
And a moment later, you see Oberon creaks out of the tree.
Greetings.
Good morning.
I didn't see anything weird.
Then you weren't watching that fight.
Ah, ah, ah.
Yeah, I actually did see some weird stuff.
I flipped my hair over my shoulder and he said, you some no silk like extension.
Oh my god.
Oh, Cali.
Wow.
No thing would happen.
I only have to transfer four hours, so I had like four hours to work.
I'm going to go on.
It's over.
It's crazy.
She threw out her journal and she had a glow-up.
Yes.
Well, if you desire a passage back to your world, I can grant that to you.
Is there a price?
Three dollars. Okay.
They have American dollars.
I got a lot of gold, but what is that?
A dollar?
I need cash.
I pressed the digitization on the envelope.
We have three dollars.
Three American dollars in it.
Alicia, we have a three-each or three total.
They actually did it.
I'll give this to you on the other side. three-eature three total. They actually did it.
I'll give this to you on the other side. All right. This was a, it was a goof.
Obran, do you know what's going on back on the material plane?
Do you have any idea like how the crick is?
If things are safe, things are settled.
Like what are we going to be materializing into?
Yeah.
Well, my access to the material play is mostly through foster.
So, I haven't seen much.
What about Ollie?
Are you allowed to tell me?
Your sister is getting in over her head and beginning to see the dark side of the family
business.
Okay.
Interesting.
Yeah.
How she looked though.
I don't really think of her like that.
I'm a fucking tree.
I'm saying I feel a little competitive, so I just want to like make sure that I'm just like
that way.
Okay, so let me try to make this clear to you guys.
Objectively, whose hair is longer.
You didn't say that.
Yeah, that's kind of what I'm like.
And thank you for that.
I'm like, you can't talk longer.
Did you look higher?
Yes, I do the worm on my wife.
Let me, if you do the worm on the worm,
let me, I am, I'm like a tree, right?
So you asking me who looks better
would be like looking at like a grape in an orange
and being like who's more attractive.
Like it's just I'm just not there if that makes you calling us petty and you asked us for
$3.00.
That was you have to admit that was funny.
I'm sure you're asking for $3.00.
That's $3.00.
Yeah, $3.00.
Yes, $3.00.
I think about it.
Yeah. $3. $3, yes. $3, yes. I think about it.
Yeah.
I don't think it's Callie.
I meant to ask you this last night, but you know, we've got a choice between the Feywild
and Iron Deep.
It seems like things might be more pressing in the Feywild.
I don't think so, though, because if she feels like she's getting in over her head, that doesn't mean that she has
a super expensive egg on her hands, right?
Right.
Unless, over and can you tell us that?
She does not have the egg.
Okay.
So, I think it's not as pressing as I and Deep.
Okay.
If you're all right with that decision, just letting you know that if you want to head
that way, I'm happy to do it.
I think I'm like willfully still avoiding my sister
until I feel like I can.
You got that.
Yes.
If I'm being honest, I don't mind laying it.
All right, let's take the long way around, man.
Sweet, you see that Obron gestures
a long branchy finger to his tree and the bark begins to break
apart, creating an archway and beyond it you can see the light of the morning sun hitting
the creek.
That looks idyllic.
Yeah, let's go through one more mouth.
Yeah, another metaphorical reaver! Here it comes. You guys bid goodbye to Obran,
enter the tree,
and exit the other side.
Instantly hit with the muggy air of the creek.
Oh, there we go.
It looks like it's morning here.
You see the sun hangs low in the sky.
It does seem like time has probably passed similarly here as it did in the sky. It does seem like time has probably passed similarly here as
did in the Beastlands so you've probably been gone a day and as you guys enter
the creek I'm gonna do a little recap because we've been away from the
creek for a few weeks of real time. So here's the situation as it stands in the
living wood based on everything you know.
So Glen has been presenting as a green dragon elf but is secretly a Crick elf who
resents his people's passivity.
He's been sowing chaos in the living wood hoping to force the Crick elves into a war.
Despite some setbacks, he's still likely to succeed.
Glen has been faking Voidelf attacks on the blue dragon elves for some time, and the
powerful faction has been hunting for the Crick ever since.
The massacre at the summit is likely to get back to them, and when they find out that
there are traders in their midst, they're likely to blame the Void elves, the supposed
thorn in their side.
To make matters worse, the blue elves have a shrumrot, Queen Umberspore's brother in
captivity, and he knows how to get to the creek.
It may take some time to extract the information from him through magical means, but eventually
they'll figure out how the creek portals work.
So that's where we are now.
There's chaos in the living wood.
Peace was always tenuous.
Once the blues find out about the traders,
they're liable to go nuclear
and try to wipe out the other factions
putting the Crick in danger.
But back to you guys.
You guys have just returned to the Crick.
You see that you are in the same area
that you were when you left.
There's still a rune circle where the spell was cast,
but there's no one here. It's been a day, but it's a bit strange that no one waited around,
because you're just, you know, less than a mile outside of the town. Everybody go ahead and give
me perception checks. 22. 16. 19. Sweet. Good perception checks. You guys look around.
Okay, 19. Sweet. Good perception checks.
You guys look around.
You're outside of the town square
a little bit far away from it.
So it's not crazy that you don't hear a ton of noise,
but yesterday when you arrived,
you could definitely hear music right away.
You hear that there is no music.
You can make out some noise,
but it sounds like something's off.
Like the vibe is off.
The trick is usually loud and rowdy,
and you hear a gathering of people,
but you don't hear singing or revelry,
or then welcoming somebody or something like that,
and they're a happy, boisterous people.
It does not seem like a happy, boisterous vibe.
And with an above 20 roll
caulder, you notice someone sitting alone, not near the room circle, looks like he was off by
himself. Away from the room circle, you see a gangly old crick-Ellif, your friend Bumpy,
is just in the woods by himself looking off in deep thought.
Hey, hey, hey, hey Bumpy.
Oh.
You shout out, hey Bumpy, you see,
he looks kind of startled, didn't even notice you guys
coming back, you can assume there was some kind of magical force
when you guys came through the portal,
and he looks kind of startled,
is kind of knocked out of his trance and gets up.
Oh, oh, hey, hey guys.
Um, hey, bumpy.
He walks over to you guys.
You good?
Well, things have gotten a little complicated in the past, uh,
24 hours or so.
Where's Mima?
Mima was, uh, yeah, she had to, uh, deal with something in the
town square. Is that something Glenn? He nods. Yeah, um, oh, Glenn, Glenn came back. He showed up last night as an envoy said that he had an army to lend to the
creek for when the blues come for us. We said to him, you know, we don't want to
negotiate with you, you're kind of like a war criminal who's who's working against us, so
war criminal who's who's working against us. So we'll do you the the solid of of let me go.
Or we're gonna have to we're gonna have to capture you. And he just kind of let us capture him willingly. He's in the the time out tree right now. God, this is so hot that he let you capture him, really.
It was kind of confident, is it?
I fucking paste.
I'm having trouble keeping up with what's hot.
It's real hot.
It's real hot.
If you were there, you would have sold it.
It was hot.
I think it's just like anything he does is hot.
It's just like, it's the confidence.
Yeah, and it's weird too, because when he was like, in the is high. It's just, it's like, it's the confidence. Yeah, and it's weird too,
because when he was like,
in the little sale that he's in,
like we didn't take any of his clothes off
and he took his shirt off.
Oh, all right.
So he's kind of like listening there under 25.
That is like, wheelingly, so my service is like hot.
Bump, you need to stop describing the situation.
Sorry, yeah, no, he's,
he's glistening for sure.
Anyway, so he came, we put him in the time out tree.
He's, he's in a cell right now.
We sent our scouts ahead and sure enough,
he's telling the truth.
There's a bunch of dragons and soldiers
set up camp about 10 miles out.
The greens?
Yes, it, the greens.
It's a mix.
It's, I think it's some of the people that were left over from the summit.
There's white dragons, white dragon elves, greens, a couple blues.
And look, they're not that sizeable of a force, but we can't really afford to fight him and the blue elves.
We're in a tough spot. The old folk circle is gathering to not to vote on it.
Glenn says he was back in the living wood last night
and did some recon.
And thinks we got about two days before the blue show up.
But all right, he plays his cards a little closer
to the chest when he talks to people like, like me,
ma, people in authority, but I don't know.
Kelly, maybe you can get something out of them.
Me?
I don't know.
You knew him, right?
I mean, I think he knew me more than I knew him.
I think he put up a visage that I would respond to.
Kelly, I know that you only knew one side of him, but from what you've said, I feel like
he showed you his true intentions.
He showed you some aspect of his true self.
We got to at least give it a shot.
Yeah.
Kelly, the fact that you know that he's too faced means you know him better than you think
you do already.
Yeah, but the problem is both of those faces are fucking gorgeous.
I know, he doesn't have a bad side.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, and the abs, I know.
Yeah, yeah, he's too faced and like 12 abed.
I know.
Do you want Buffy to pretend to be your boyfriend?
I don't know why I had to go into this.
Just to make him jealous. I guess I could do it too. Actually, I don't know why I had to go into this. Just to make him jealous.
I guess I could do it too. Actually that would be great. That would be really now with
talking so. Alright. Okay, yeah, if it solves my fake boyfriend, I think I've got the confidence
to do it. I guess I'll need a new alias. Alright right, well, time out trees just over yonder.
See, he points out in the distance away from the town square.
I cast a third level push up bra.
She's gross.
So I'll make a wig out of a dragon nose hair.
So that you have a beautiful mane?
Yeah.
I freeze Kelly's ass so it's like rock, all.
In saying, can't you gain, squeeze them, squeeze them.
You guys go towards the time out tree and you find this dark tree with naked branches, gnarled roots. There is an archway in its trunk
beyond which you just see darkness. And outside guarding it, there are two rangers. They look like
guards, black dragon masks, and leather armor. And after a moment, you see Mima exit the archway.
And she's helping along an older crick elf with stringy white hair.
He looks devastated and is kind of just like staring off.
He's got like dark circles under his eyes, stubble, and he's just kind of staring forward.
And you see Mima is kind of comforting him, walks out with him, whispers something to him, and you just kind of stays there, and then she walks over to you guys, and she goes,
oh hey, sorry I missed y'all coming back.
It's fine, what is happening here?
Well, Glenn's kind of got us in a tough spot here.
He showed up with an army, and he's essentially offered his services.
In the downside is he's threatening us, essentially to swoop in after both sides have diminished
each other.
Oh, you think it's a play?
You think it's a play? You think it's not sincere? I think that he sincerely wants to fight on the side of the Crick-Elves. Sorry, let me
rephrase that. He wants to lead the Crick-Elves into glorious battle.
So in a way, it's sort of like a coup.
Yeah, he wants to rule over what's left either way. She looks over at the time out tree.
She looks up at the creek.
She looks at the old man who looks sullen.
She just shakes her head and she goes, not this.
And you see, she turns over to the old man and goes,
all right, Kudr, let's get you home.
She puts her arm around the old
man and they begin walking back towards the creek. Okay but I know that's his father.
Excuse me Mr. Kooter. You see this this old creek elf with white hair turns
around and despite the fact that he looks like really devastated, he
puts on like a smile for you guys and goes, oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot my hospitality.
My name's Kudur.
It's wonderful to meet all you.
Welcome to the Creek.
I'm so sorry to ask something personally invasive.
Right.
But Glenn is your son.
I was wondering what you thought for this.
I know that it's very complicated, but I want to respect whatever you need in this situation.
So that's why I'm asking.
I appreciate that.
You see, he just eyes, just mouthquivering as he smiles
with tears well in his eyes and he goes,
Let it worry, I give him a hug.
Let it all burst into tears as he hugs you.
And he goes, that's good.
That's so sweet.
That's just as bad as it is.
Happy as ever.
I was just doing my best.
I was just trying to be a good old foe.
I know.
I was just trying to be a good old foe. I'm just a good old foe. I was just trying to be a good old foe. I know, I was just trying to be a good old foe. I was just trying to be a good old foe.
I was just trying to be a good old foe.
I was just trying to be a good daughter.
I was just trying to be a good daughter.
I was just trying to be a good daughter.
I was just trying to be a good daughter.
I was just trying to be a good daughter.
I was just trying to be a good old foe.
I was just trying to be a good old foe.
I was just trying to be a good old foe.
I was just trying to be a good old foe We hand out potions to each other a lot.
That is valuable, that is valid.
You're here on my eyes.
Do you want a tech bomb?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could kind of just like throw it at something.
We're going to just work out some stuff by blowing things up.
Like a berry that explodes.
I would love to blow some stuff up.
If you guys have any bombs, I'll take one.
Yeah, I'll give you a bomb.
She'd like to. I'm a pretty good. Thank you so much. This is the best I've built in a
while. No, I thought maybe after all these years that he might have softened a bit, but
he, he planed for me as much as ever. So I'm just about the last person that should be talking to him.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I'm going to go blow up a mailbox.
I hope you get to talk to him more.
He seems complex and cool.
You see, Kooter walks off with Mima, and you guys are left in front of the time out tree. You do see Mima gestures to you guys
gives like a nod to the guards to like let you guys in if you decide to go. Okay, I put on my
crochet bra that soul made me. I have my track jacket. I make an ice mirror in my hand to show
hand to show Callie her reflection. I like make sure that my new starry body glitter is like catching all the light.
I think that's has so much delaying of the inevitable that I can do.
I put on some very, very shaky wingtip eyeliner and I say, let's do this with a very dead smile.
Ah yeah, squeeze, Callie's hand.
Oh, so remember you're my boyfriend.
Yeah, what's your name?
He's got a long name of Noz.
My name is Swag Daniel.
Swag Daniels, that's really good.
Oh, so you're too good at this.
Here to kid hand squeeze everyone swag Daniel
Okay, and I'll be swag Daniel's buddy. Okay, what's your name?
Dag swaniels
Dag swaniels. That's really good
Foster looks concerned.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Then we'll know and hear him.
All right, Kali.
Swag and tag.
Swag and tag.
Enter the dark archway,
and you see a stairwell descending beneath the tree.
From here, you only have the light
from outside to guide you way.
And as you walk down, you see roots hanging
from above. And when you reach the bottom, you are in a mostly dark room. There is a single
torch on the wall on this side of the room. And across from it, there is a single cell
with powerful roots acting as prison bars. The light of the torch shows a shadowy figure
inside. As we approach, I'm going to go ahead and activate my massage, which in its new form,
I think a pair of like membrane slide over my eyes. Is they kind of glow a little bit and I grow some little frog horns above my head.
So I look intimidating but also inquisitive.
Ooh.
Classic swag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Swag Daniel says I'm too big for him.
Ah.
I link, um, so we swag Daniels.
Yeah.
And it, and swag's best friend, Doug.
Just call, uh,
I can, Doug. Man calls out. That's a saddened dog.
Man, Swag.
Hey.
No, it's cooler than you.
Except maybe your new girlfriend, who I am to.
I love having a girlfriend.
You hear a voice from the other side of the cell echo through the room and go,
oh how exciting, it barely feels like captivity with so many visitors. You see the figure moves up
against the bars and the warm light hits his face, you see Glenn leaning up against the bars, and the warm light hits his face. You see Glen leaning up against the roots casually,
revealing piercing green eyes.
Goliope, are you trying to make me jealous?
I'm gonna give her guidance.
Ah!
I fucking know into a puddle.
Ah!
Glen. I fucking know into a puddle. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Glenn.
Uh, nice to see you so close.
Usually you try to say a bit more ranged.
Right.
Well, I had a game to play, but now I'm back where I belong.
At the creek.
In a cage.
Sorry, hey, my name's dag. Your name is dag. Careful how you talk to my best friend. Oh, yeah, oh, you can call me Mr. Swenials.
Glenn, by the way.
And I swear you. And Zag's when you're like, okay, hang on, are they?
Okay, so they're not related because their name's not the same.
Yes, but we are in a love triangle asking.
Wait, what?
There we are.
I can't do in-proven.
In-proven.
Yeah.
I grip, I grip, I grip all my hands and I say in-proven.
I grip, I grip, I grip, I grab his hand and I say improvise. Fucking improvise.
So the sake of my fucking waiting self-esteem is improvise.
He's gonna do an inside check.
You see he narrows in on callder.
Dag, huh?
Yeah.
So I guess you and Swag is it?
Yeah, these Swag are friends.
And there's a little love triangle I think.
So why?
That I just heard about or that I am involved in.
That I'm involved in.
We're close.
We're really close.
That's really good.
So.
Alright.
So Grabs there's ass.
Call the ghost to lean on a wall and false, as he wasn't as close as he thought he was.
Well done, well done.
Well, Kaliope, it looks like you've successfully moved on.
I'm...
I'm proud of you.
I didn't do this for you to be proud of me.
I didn't say that.
I just said I'm proud of you.
Well, thank you.
Kali, you've really outdone yourself. You've taken my weapon away, squashed my rebellion,
but nevertheless, trouble in the living would always falls back on the Crick Elves.
So as long as there's trouble, I'll get my war.
You see, he flashes a bright white smile.
Oh, so that's why you're being such a good sport.
I would think you would harbor a little more resentment at us stealing your weapon.
What are you not telling me?
Come on, show off a little bit. I know
you love to. What have you got up your sleeve? Not that you're wearing a shirt and not that I've
moved to that or anything. Easy, babe. I hate you. Sorry, swag and dag. Sorry to be doing this in front of you girl.
You see, it's got so much bread and water in it pours someone's chest.
I used to be that water.
Stand down, dag.
I can pour water on my chest.
It freezes instantly.
Fuck.
Listen, what...
What is it you want out of all of this?
Do you want to rule the Cric?
Do you want to be the only one left standing?
Why are you pitting everyone against each other?
Pitting everyone against each other?
I just want the Cric elves to stop hiding
and to fight for themselves for once.
And what happens to the old folks circle if you get your wall
Do you keep them around of course not it's a new generation and there's a new Peep-on town
You want to be the Peep-on
Hmm, I
Think after all is said and done it'll be clear who the better leader is.
You call yourself a leader.
You could call off all of the dragons and the elves, gav it around your cause.
You could avoid so much bloodshed.
This doesn't have to go the the current soldiers under my command.
You see, after the scene you made at the summit, thank you for that, by the way, was...
Yes, of course. Well, the Blue Elves found out about our plot against them and are out for blood.
The smaller factions are understandably terrified, so I united who I could and offered them a safe
haven.
I brought them to the Crick.
So I'll admit, we don't have the power to beat the Blues or the Crick Elves outright, but after a costly battle between
the two, who knows?
Perhaps we could swoop in at the end, crush the blues and force the Crick Elves to surrender,
then I could lead the Crick Elves my way, and we could start a new chapter as the rulers
of the living would.
I'd rather fight alongside my people, of course, which is why I came to Parley.
But the powers that be have once again made the wise decision of putting me in the corner.
I heard you did it willing, May.
Well, I think I'm very suspicious about the fact
that he submitted to this.
So can I do like a perception on this?
Yeah, go ahead and do a perception check.
Is it 10?
Ah, Matt, while she's doing that,
can I use my visage to whisper into Cali's mind
and say, we have the truth, Serum,
if you can find a way to get him to drink it.
I think if I'm going to do that, I might need to be alone with him.
If you think you've got a shot, the Hagen I can get a room.
This is... oh, it's like a full love triangle.
Yeah, I think I'll sort of like slight of hand that truth potion.
I'll turn to Calder and say, listen, Dag, I think she needs some time closure and all
that.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
You say you're goodbyes, but don't you go cheat on us.
All right.
We'll keep a stump warm for you.
So, is it a love triangle or are you polyamorous?
We haven't decided.
I can't improvise.
What?
Nice to meet you, bud.
So, swag and dag head off.
Walk back up the stairs.
Kali, I'll say there's a little stool here.
You pull up, Glenn pulls up a stool,
leans in from across the other side of the bars.
Well, well, Kali.
Just the two of us, just like old times.
Can I sort of like, is the truth serum is it labeled?
No, no, it's a, like a clear potion.
Okay, I know you always liked experiments and I've just come from the Beaslands
and I think I want to, like, are there two little cups?
Yeah, I'll say, um, yeah, he's got like a cup on his side like they're
giving him food and water and everything. Can I pour two drinks? Yeah, then can I
as I go to sip it, can I cast purify food and drink on it? Yeah, go ahead and
give me a sleight of hand check. Okay, you have guidance remember. Oh, 15. 15. You have guidance, remember? Ooh, 15.
15.
You do a sleight of hands.
You put the potion in both drinks,
becouse purify on yours.
Glen takes the cup from you.
He holds it up to cheers you and goes to memories,
to old friends.
To old friends and good memories.
He takes a sip, gargles it for a moment, sucks it down, and then looks at you directly
in the eyes and goes, I will come out on top, Clyde P. Petricore. And that's the truth.
And that's where Melinda's.
Oh my god, that was hot.
Oh, my bones.
That was really hot.
That was a hot word choice.
I will come out on top.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm just flying fully in my mouth.
Melinda.
All right.
Thank you all so much for listening.
We'll talk more about how hot Glenn is over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash nad pod I'll blend. All right, thank you all so much for listening.
We'll talk more about how hot Glenn is over on the Patreon,
patreon.com slash nad pod that's NADD, DPD,
don't sing yet.
We don't even think about it.
Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug?
Yeah, I would love to plug our,
actually I would love to plug just our Nashville and Philly
show.
Yeah.
The other ones are all sold out.
So that's Savannah, Atlanta, DC, Boston, all sold out.
So if you wanna come, come see us in Nashville.
Yeah, you were coming to Atlanta, Savannah,
and they ran out of tickets.
Take a little road trip.
Take a little road trip, a little fun.
I'm gonna plug our sold out shows, because that's fun.
Oh, that's rude. Those are my favorite ones. I'm gonna plug anchor steam Christmas
ale. It's seasonal beer that's got like a real nice wintery taste to it.
All right. I've had a couple of this weekend. Real lovely stuff.
Wow. Also, please come to the Nashville.
She's coming to Nashville. It's a hometown show, baby.
We're gonna pull out all the stops looking forward to it.
Yeah, okay.
Sweet guys, you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use.
At C.H. Merchandmi, at Caldee's Caldwell, at E.X. for Demole, and at your curvitz's Jake.
And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOD.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth, we are the utilization.
It's the end of the show everyone and you know what that means.
It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hugh C. Later Mixgator. Matt M. Jordan D.J. Cutter W.
Live A. Daniel G. The J-Pot. Dylan B. Who is selling a glad trading card for a hundred
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Bound Lorsboy, Dominic P, Justin I, Ragnar, Ferredwyn, DJ M, Traylae the Cray-Fay, Christopher
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Richard X Machina, Michael L, Kalim L, Jack L, Sam L, Nicholas C, Hemlock.
Samuel B, Mike H, Matthew E, great Value Gemma. Adam G. Tyler F. Panama James. Andrew the Bard.
Nope, sorry, just Andrew the Druid here.
Adrian the Halfling Bard officer.
Rex Daniel the White Captain sigil.
Diana De los Lopez.
C.C. Lulu.
Her Q. Poirot.
The Rabbit Folk Detective, which I actually did not know that this was
a pun and I only just started listening to the Hercule.
I don't know how to say it.
I just started listening to the Agatha Christie books in which this is a character.
This pun has come to life for me.
Timmy R. Lucas B. Reiko.
It's Kevin.
Cody B. TimmyR, LucasB, Raco, It's Kevin, CodyB, Calder's cold,
Come hashtag rise, my comrades, Spread the comrade!
KDW, TaylorB, the vengeful one winged angel,
Cascade for Cascade, Captain of the Stevens.
Ooh, Steven C, Michael M, Mike K. Lady Taco. Brian G. Joy T. Nara. Jake L. Nick Wolf.
Brave the Badger. Esmi M. Foster. The Boneless Duck. William W. Aaron the Asshole Ranger.
Big bad beard on the mad. Eric McTee. Galad Rosel the white rose of Galadiron.
Well, interesting to have him as a patron.
Christian Alvarado,
J. Dragonborn,
Joro the Anappropro,
the San Dreyon,
Ben A.
Feldonis,
John III,
Dave H.
Vivian,
Koala Bear,
Catherine S.
David K.
Christian S. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye Pierce,
Bookfars Assistant Izzy F. The Time Walker, Marky Mark, The Marvelous, Mining, Engineer,
Cat-C, Kelsey J. Porkchop, Misa of House in Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid, Selena and Valacy Raptor,
B. Perky O'Ease, Pat L. A'Chutha A, Lauren H. Ryan S. The bone duster, the charming fluft.
Robert Crisp, telekitty creations, I will request. You know I'm gonna request that constellation of snakes.
That's great.
Bloops!
Carly A.
Addy K.
AP Cleric.
Laurie P.
Spam Gaming, who's just a raccoon that has a gun.
Terrifying, because raccoons are actually really terrifying on their own.
Let alone weaponized.
Conor S. His raccoons are actually really terrifying on their own. Let alone weaponized.
Connor S. Christopher J. Pepplepot to the two riders.
My first D&D party may all our adventures be wondrous.
Thank you for being my friends.
Oh, that just moved me.
Celil.
Leviathan.
Bioquart 7.
Amber Dexterous.
Sullivan H.
Treb Hap Trepper.
Sydney T.
Jack H. Treb Hattrepper, Sydney T. Jack H. Crapster Champion of Crod's Scuttling
Sideways Torts Tomorrow.
Fender A. Garble the Moist.
Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi who finally converted to the comradery of callters called Com!
Congratulations! Bailyn, beep! The Druid Barbarian!
Carlin C, Emily S, Cody and T.R.A.P.
Pendergreens roommate.
Oh, Harry Cox, no other bagel of all things, Justin L.
Torrey, everything bago the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet, Badger
Stripey! Dandy, Marcos P. Jordan P. the occasional crit reporter.
Learns the balance druid, Dakota James P. Frida and Poggos.
Betroathed self-proclaimed fey, Prince Tracy P. the crit-go-flop,
Brarian, Friar Frissit. Prairiean, friar, frizzin'. Andiee, Holly Hyena, Kristen Zee,
the I will use what you love against you DM.
Leah C, Paige H, Helen of Brice, May B,
Pixel Stars, Akash T, Timothy H,
Kristen with a K, Cal, just Cal,
Commodore Galaxy, Edison, and Russell H,
among named Dilgo,
Nios the novice monster hunter.
And I think a friend, Simon,
should I be meeting him,
Jake M. Murf, CWD,
you know where, if not,
role intelligence safe, Patrick.
Laura Lidus,
succubus, and Kyra,
her busty Queen. Okay.
Michael, the Ezri Pop Idol, Morgan M, appealing sticker, Steven E. Chaos, the
Crick mascot. Happy birthday to my hot husband Andrew L. A. K. A. Flandrew.
Love you, your wife said. Ooh, happy birthday!
John Adams, yes, like the president,
Meg the male carrier of Bohumia, James F.
Captain Kappy, M4L, Waffer, currently in a trademark dispute
with mothership over the patent on the SS Storm yarn.
Andrew B. Sir Smut, Cope fresh, Barpo good barrel, Bart Berrien and Brewer
a maritus of water deep, Mary Beth coverly, Welsh linder, Garrett G1 big curd, Mr D, Dana
Daisy, Sean J, Mr Silly head, Ethan B, Monster Captain Rene S. Hop! The dancing rabbit. Hopes, dagger, the
only dagger of hope. Olivia, the enchanting bard, who will totally be making money and
a grand novel off of the duck team's tails, with an on-the-go, all-the-stop show. Blue
slayed the artificer. Michaela R. Riley S. Fyco, Angry Wheat, the game itself just trying to find
himself.
Tony G. Corbos, Calamatus, Comshot, Hashtag, CCC, Forever, sorry Jake, Josh H. Jack,
the Jack's jinxing rogue on the run with Bohumias Balls. Mango and Banadas, rent in mules,
he who made Doug DeVirgin, Darknut,
Trugdor, the Bernanator, Clementine T, Caleb L,
Sam, Holly Merlin, and Kucita.
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Honk the Arcane Trickster Goose!
Now, with the enlarged spell,
can trip Dumbledore the bear onesie wearing barbarian
with a bad back, Papa Wookie,
MJ the BFG drinking tea by the sea!
Little Ferret Powell, Samantha K,
Kronos Maximus, G-noteowl, Samantha K, Cronus Maximus, Genote,
Squid, Minty,
Hey, other of other of the
Hey, Mama Bell,
This is your daily reminder
to drink water.
Sheldon, the mushroom turtle,
Straw man, 18 wheels of rubber and steel,
Potato Master, Timothy R, Lloyd,
Tis the great and finally!
Derek D. Thank you all so much.
We love you. You make this possible.
Muah, muah, muah, muah.
Goodbye, my sweeties.
That was a hate gun podcast.