Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 3: Missing Soldier (The Mothership Saga)

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

The Blue Crew attempts to retrace Beatrix's foot steps and uncovers more truths about Mothership. Callie channels a tight grandma, Sol reminisces about his youth, and Calder stands up for a friend. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects include:"Organ Ambience" by InspectorJ at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Mothership" by Emily Axford."Microbrews Cruise" by Emily Axford."Paetina" by Emily Axford."The Trade District" by Emily Axford."Implicated" by Emily Axford. "Synth Night" by Emily Axford."Cable Car Ride" by Emily Axford."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford. "Into the Fire" by Emily Axford. "Lucanus Aer'Tea" by Emily Axford. "Shadowfell Sneak" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford. "The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Bahumia! I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Overjoyed to be unemployed. Call for you. I like that. Emily Axford. Rainy day, Fey, whose life is in disarray. Can I have you pet your call?

Whay, whay, whay, whay, whay. Sorry, you're here. And some duck. And some duck. And then of course, called, sorry. It's some duck. And some duck. And then of course, called old Tanner. Saul Bufo. Hey, did you know frogs can't open their eyes when they swallow. You can't possibly keep doing this.

You can't possibly keep doing this. It's fun. It's fun to know that I've always got this bullet in the chamber. So they ever want to know. They can't keep their eyes open while they swallow. They use their eyes to digest their food. Like they push the food down with their eyes open while they swallow they use their eyes to digest their food Like they push the food down with their eyes. It's fucking wild. Saw is not a good dinner guests

Interesting what we're getting at here. No, but he just he's actually like kind of like one of those dinner guests that like looks like They're orgasm with each time. Oh, how does he look so around? It might be why he's so attractive. Yeah, I just fucking made spaghetti and he's fucking I have spaghetti salad. Oh. Sweet guys, just go ahead and do a little recap. Oh, hey. So last time you were awarded a coupon for your efforts

in saving the S class serum. Woo. Woo-pon. You used some of it at TGI Sky Days, or I guess you got to skip down on your bill a little bit. Right. And no, we just transferred it. we just transferred it to the heavy couple. At TGI Skydays, you guys all vented about not getting your due.

Eventually, however, you were contacted by Alex Andrite and summons to the mothership from meeting the next day. There amongst a throng of press, you learned that you were going to be upgraded from D to S class since. You were brought to a lab ship and began the procedure, only to realize early on that the infusions were attempting to brainwash you into mindless assassins. Not good. Not good at all. You saw flickers of your friends and family saying your objective is to secure the mothership, which prompted you to act violently. But before the brainwashing was complete, you were sort of saved, quote unquote, saved by a dragon elf in a red mask, saved-ish.

A saved-ish, who you assume might be the missing or dead, Beatrix Netheran, who shuts the system down and killed everyone else in the lab, except for you. After waking up, Groggie, you found evidence that this Dragon Elf was seeking information about the S-Class program. Amongst the paperwork, you discovered the name Bidra Weevil, who was one of the scientists killed in the apparent Dragon Elf attack. You escaped the lab ship and jumped onto a cable car where you grabbed Albin, the grownup boy wizard, and brought him to Cali's Bell Tower with you.

There, he was able to jail, break your monestones, and disconnect you from Alex and right, making it harder to trace your movements. Thanks Albi. But you have now alerted the mothership that you are on the run, and that's where we are now. Yee! Okay. So, you all are in Cali's room here. Albin has just finished disenchanting the part of your monestone that links you to the mothership. Huh. How about that?

My heart beats normally now. That's great. Albi, does this mean we'll never be here and from Alexander, right? If, oh, Alexander, right, can be sort of summoned to try to kill you maybe. Oh, did she have a physical form? She can. What?

All right, okay. I'll count her in powerful mages within the mother ship, but might be able to summon her. She's sort of an avatar. I'm freaking out a little bit too, because I think that's maybe I can't go back if my roommate is on the run. No, right. Yeah, some of these inquisitor mages would definitely cast a zone of truth on me and I wouldn't be able to lie very well. It's been, I had a beacon of truth and justice.

I'm honored. Ever since I took that one potion during the boy wizard and the frog pals truth juice. Exactly. Yeah, again, I have it. I have it. Yeah, and I feel like these truth, juice. Exactly. Where I try. Again, I have an idea. I feel like, oh, these are real things that happen. I know, and if you like, I feel out to share. I think that happened to me, and not just these,

and I feel like I should be allowed to read the books. Okay, and not have everything ruined. Yeah, I find it great. They slaughtered it, honestly. The trial of a unicorn. They did a really good job. That one was good. Yeah. Well guys, none of us work for the mothership anymore.

I think we all, we are no longer work buds. We're just, we're just buds buds. We're just buds buds. And you know what buds are? They're just waiting to become flowers. Ah, big flower bed, I love that. Okay, Albi, I've got a friend, the one who runs this church that, if you're feeling

concerned, he could help you. Because I could like confess my sins to him. No. You can't do it. He does cry, right? The church is a front. You can do the sign of the beard. It feels kind of nice.

Interesting. Yes, I have heard about these things. People would sort of sometimes will use a religious institution to be able to commit crime within the bubble. Yeah, but you know, wow, to be in one of them. I have been to have this much excitement since the launch pad. Oh wow.

Let me see if he's around Krugin. You yell and you see. It goes into the bell. Very quickly, Fort Fother Krueger, barrel rolls into the room. A stick's an iPhone and goes, what are they trying to come at you, Kelly? You know the whole thing. I know, we're flower friends.

We're flower friends. What does that mean? Is that a game? I haven't heard of that game. Sir, you're scaring our duck. Where? It's shitting everywhere. Where?

Where? Alby, if you don't mind. It's a key, we. Krugin, okay. Can I just upload him on everything that's going on? And I show him Alby, and I say, he's in a bad way, he's just helped us out. We need to help him out.

Oh, you know. Oh, you know, Ford's father Kruegen is always looking for more people to help out around the church as it were and if your skills are as good as Kelly just said you're able to uh disenchant things maybe that means you can't enchant things and maybe you can help each other so if you need a place to stay for now, consider my abode, your abode. Ah, thank you. Thank you very much, father. Howdy.

You can call him, Krugin. This is going to be your greatest adventure yet. Working for the mob. The boy wizard and his frog pal work for the mob. I think I say to like Krugin like, he's very innocent and he's very... He just like keeps calling himself the boy wizard and he has like a really visible ball spot. He just picked it 12 and... It's really clinging to something. Yeah, just...

But I just want to maybe say like, if there's some way, he might have like a lot of ideals that he doesn't want to something. But I just want to maybe say like if there's some way, you might have like a lot of ideals that I doesn't want to compromise. Yeah, of course, right. And that's good. It's good. add my way. Of course. Of course. We all make this sound. Okay. Alright. Well, you will let me know if you need anything from me.

Point it out. Because I'll be needing something from you in that long. Okay. I look to my buds and I say, I wonder if we need to save passage out of S3. Yeah. Looks likely. Do you think we'll need like a jammer or something to get out or?

I was thinking Kruggen could maybe help massage us out of here. We just have to do it fast before they start looking for us. Okay, yeah. Because I was just thinking if we need to place the hide, it might be like a really good time for me to get back in touch with my ex-boyfriends. Okay, you should get in touch with him because we need information about this red-haired dragon elf that we saw murder a bunch of people. Which was probably Beatrix, right? Yeah, I'm on board it in the tube, but yeah, I was thinking about it. I saw the bubbles come out, but I didn't hear what you said, but they formed Beatrix a word

Yeah, Beatrix netheran was killed though by you need to stop believing everything you read right You've been reading too much you're not creating your own books interesting. Yes. My story was stolen from me true If Beatrix isn't actually dead, then what do you think happened to the other S classes and was there ever really even a dragon elf attack? We don't, yeah, we don't know.

Arab, yeah. Why would mothership lie about that? They have to be up to something major. I mean, it's like, it's called mothership. That why do we fucking fall for that? I don't know, I'm fully ready to turn my back on mothership, but I don't know if I can do the same for all the people of Esri, and this seems like this could be potentially bad news for everyone here.

We gotta do something. Yeah, we gotta figure out what they're up to. Yeah. And we gotta suck them. Just the three of us against them. That's all they need. Quitting our jobs and fucking taking our fucking bosses down. No, I love it!

Why the hell are you all looking at this? So we don't know if we can trust Beatrice. She is a dragon elf, so I do have a natural attraction to a cheque to round. Out. Don't go to the galley. Mention this. The mask.

You don't even know what her face looks like? You've come so far. It's the ears for me. Sorry. I know. The mask. You don't even know what her face looks like? You've come so far. It's the ears for me. Sorry, I know. They were a part. But I mean, it seemed like she's up to something. If we're going to uncover what's going on with mother ship, I mean, she seems to have, you know,

her sort of like IV and the vein of information. I mean, she was digging around in Peter Weaver's office. Peter Weaver. Peter Weaver, I knew her socially a little bit. I was a lab mage, so I was mostly inside working on the toilet paper that I've talked about a bit. Right, yeah. I don't know that I've mentioned that, that I've almost deployed.

This is my pleasure. The boy wizard and the toilet paper. Honestly, I forgot about the duck because we were talking about toys. We had so much. Yes, we did cross paths a few times socially, but she was a field mage. So I know that she was in on the S-Synth program, and she was apparently killed while she was with all of them in an outpost near the living wood. When we were escaping from the tomb,

we saw her office had been raided and a bunch of information was stolen from her. It was stolen by Beatrix. Yeah. Why didn't she kill us? She could have killed everyone in that room. She was very good at killing. To her, we were just new synth soldiers.

Maybe we need to talk to the rats. Ah. Ah. If we had met. We splatted the rats. I do know Beatrix's address. She's been missing or dead for a few weeks so they may have cleaned it up, but I do know where she was. It's possible if Beatrix is interested in her for some reason that she might try to go to her apartment or something, it seems like Beatrix is sort of the key to all of this.

Okay, so we might be able to find Beatrix still here in town. Where would she have gone after her? How many times have you been to Beatrix's house, whether they're like social gatherings there, or like every once in a while one of like the cool field mages would have a party and some of the lab mages we would sort of get like a plus three situation where like one of us was cool and then the other ones would just kind of come along. Okay, I was never invited. Right, okay, so you saw the party happening while you were walking the whole. I was in the tour the paper, Division. Can I ask, what was the corporate culture like for you there? Do you have like free beer on Friday?

No. Can I have the address? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha pulls out a piece of paper and writes real quick. She was just off campus from the launch pad Academy. It's always back to campus. It's always back to campus. Back to campus! Do you guys ever reunite going up? Interestingly enough, they don't because once they spit you out, the sort of illusion is broken. In fact, I have a theory saw that maybe some of those adventures were orchestrated by the Academy just to test our veggies.

Oh my god, you're propaganda boys. Oh, this is Doc. It's a goddamn repair. You think that you're not just saying I'm saying we were like 12 and we were fighting these arch wizards You talk tonight And what do you think I just I've questioned it I thought sometimes that we were a boy wizard and his rock pal and we were fighting like We were choosing stuff can I do an insight check just on

Albee to be like does he actually have the stuff of a hero? Yeah. Yeah. 15. Albi is a good guy and a pretty good mage. He's not, he was like probably told in school that he was the chosen one, but it's just it's literally a situation of somebody who like, they really excelled, they excelled in an academic situation, but aren't doing that good in the workforce.

Halby, we were dangled over so many pits of so many different types of poison as animals. And yet we didn't fall in. We didn't fall in. You think it was just a sell comic books? Great. Now I know they never fall in. I know. I was taking a save. It just spoilt. All right. I'm not even gonna be.

I'm gonna skip ahead so much. Oh. I'll be we got to go to this address, but I want to make sure we can keep in touch. Is there any way you could like enchant a roll of toilet paper? That's like a sitting roll. The toilet paper. Oh like a roll of toilet paper that we could write a note on. Yeah exactly.

Your roll of toilet paper. Just have to be told. Could it be not a toilet paper that we could write a note on. And then your roll of toilet paper. Just have to be taught. Could it be not taught paper? It could be white. Would you want to make it your thing? You want it, okay. Yes. Why don't I, I don't know that I'll be able to hand that to you right now, but I do enchant items.

So if I stay here tonight, I can make a roll of toilet paper. I'll be if you want. If you write on it, it sends me a message. When you unroll it, I send you a message back on the toilet paper. It just seems like if somebody searches us, they're not going to expect the toilet paper. It's how it has to be. All right. You see, pulls out the roll of toilet paper and goes, another 12 hours of the toilet paper. It's how it has to be. I see pulls out the roll of toilet paper and goes another 12 hours of this

Just hold this wand over the toilet paper and begins just whispering a stupid spell. I smile to everyone thinking we really saved this guy Really took him out of the rat race. Now he's doing it for himself. Krugin, we need to get to this address. Jeff, anyway, to help us. What are you looking for? Scooter. A scooter. A scooter. A scooter.

I can try to, yeah, I can try to find you a scooter. We're kind of gold, you got. Cause they would like things cost cash We would also take a duck boat if you have one of those No, we have a coupon that I think actually they didn't need to scan What didn't you spend all of it? Yeah, but it's still I still have the coupon you just gonna give me Okay You should give me a spate. Okay. Kelly, I know we don't talk like a lot.

Do you think I'm a moron? No, but I do think you have access to a scooter and I do think you're withholding. Do I have any gold? Do I have any gold? You can, alright, give me 10 gold and I'll let you borrow my scooter. This is a lime scooter. This isn't yours. I hacked it and now it is my scooter. Get him the gold. It is a mothership moped, but no one is a Krugin moped.

You understand? Yeah. Yeah, I'll give Krugin 15 gold and I will serve as Calder's helmet. Great. I guess no, I'll serve as Calder's helmet because Calder has a helmet. Great. I'll say yeah, there is this little arcane motorbike that he has that it will travel so slow with all three of you on it. It's like a hover thing essentially. It doesn't have wheels. It's got handlebars and it's got certain things that cast spells to make it accelerate and stuff like that. There's just the one seat on it

and then it's got a purple glow of a levitate spell and it can go usually pretty fast but as soon as Calder gets on it, you feel it almost hit the ground and then as Cali gets onto the back, it fully starts scratching on the ground making sparks. I think Cali should drive and then Saul is on top And it's just fully like ruining the road as you guys ride along Called are you need to push off the ground like it's one of those toddler bikes without pedals?

Okay, you know what Cali you were the antler album our soul We just need to shift the weight around. Okay. Yeah, we fully commit to the scooter and we go to this address. Sweet. So you guys ride through this district that's essentially like, it's got all these different holy places and everything. Most of them legitimate.

There's even another church of Morin and we're like people are practicing like a bunch of dwarves come out of church. I do it. I do the sign. Yeah, I do the sign. I'm gonna do it right back to you. One may grow. You guys get to, you guys essentially have to go down a tier and this motorbike that you guys are on, uh, levitates down, um, as you guys head down into the night and get to the university district. Um, and as you fly down on this bike, saw you see the lights of the mothership launch pad castle floating lanterns that look like stars illuminate a series of beautiful gray stone buildings, banners of deep blue with a silver emblem of the mothership on it. There are young wizards flying around on broomsticks, tossing

arcane frisbees to each other on the quad, young knights practice their forms. You see two friends hang precariously over a pit with a serberus under it and you even see as the serberus like bites up, you see the two kids that are hanging over it, don't see it, but it's translucent, like goes through them as if it's a projection. It's all artifice, it's all a lie. I thought my fame while was tricky.

This, I just screamed to them. It's all fake! It's all fake! It's all fake! This boy, you know, I'm gonna fall in the pit! You're not the children once! Yes, yes I am! Everyone says at the same time. No.

No. They all have little pals. Yeah, they're all paired off in twos. Instead of a house, you get a little butty. It's just a sea of duos. Yeah, just so many twos. Instead of a house, you get a little buttty. Just a sea of doos. Yeah, just so many doos. It's sick. You guys land.

You head down a street, a short walk away from the university, and find a series of row houses. These very pretty apartments made of stone. And at the address that you guys are looking for, be dress home, you do see two guards posted up, two of these like, Esri Knights. They do not look, they look like C class, C class. C class.

People look like C class. I want to do a disguise self to look like patina. Holy shit. And then just go over and tell them that this is the chance to become S-Class. Alright, so I'll say you make essentially like a projection of patina. You yourself are like a dark shadow behind it essentially and as patina you go up and approach these guards. Good news boys it's your chance. Ben what are you doing out out here without any kind of

entourage or guards? Wait up man wait up. She said she's so tight it's hard to keep up with her. Ha ha ha ha. Two D-class soldiers. Well, I mean- For all she needs because she's so tight, she just needs D-class to guard her. That adds up. I also am a grandma, which means that I don't actually have to wake up early for a baby anymore. You can have it all. Speaking of which, this is your lucky day. Uh, uh, yes, ma'am.

Why? You're gonna report to the mothership and you're gonna become S-class soldiers. Oh, go ahead and give me a deception check. And you can do it with advantage. 15. I'll have one of them go ahead and make an insight check. 13. Who's seen?

They look up, they salute, and they go, right now or tomorrow because we were told by Alexandra. Do you think I have time to tell you something that you have to do tomorrow? I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I have a child. I leave amazing wow. I keep on the take room. I was gonna ask. You were well. 10 minutes with a mere and some privacy. I can I come in? Is the door locked? The door is locked. Is there a balcony? There is. There is a second floor. Can I jump up to the second floor?

Sure as hell can. Yeah, you do a standing jump with your bottle of luck stats. You guys see a salt jumps right up. You get onto the second level. Let's roll a luck check. Go ahead and roll 11 or higher and this door is open. Okay. That's a 12.

It is open. Okay. That's a 12. It is open up here. I like slap my frog hands onto it and then just like creek the door open. Sweet, you creek the door open. You get in. I assume are you guys gonna climb up or are you gonna, oh, let's them rope down. Great, you let some rope down, you guys climb up.

Everybody gets in and you guys find a cute little two bedroom apartment. The door is open to the bedroom but there is a media in front of you. There's a small living area with a few like magic lanterns, a small table, a bookcase with various scientific and magical books. There are moving pictures on the wall of Biedra and her family. You see she's this goblin scientist. It's got like green skin, these big like coke bottle glasses and black hair. She looks like happy. There's pictures of her graduation. Her first day at work at the mothership, her diploma and her certification. This looks like a very like accomplished person. And you see in the bedroom, there's a small bed next to a nightstand and a desk.

Everybody go ahead and give me like perception or investigate checks. And this is just for initial vibe. This isn't like your exact 12th. The vibe is cozy and quaint. 14. 10. Okay, I will say you guys get the sense as you look around that this is

It's feeling kind of staged. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say can I ritual cast detect magic And what I'm looking for is like spells like a looseery scripts or something that is like hidden Oh, yeah scripts or something that is like hidden. Oh yeah. So I'm just picturing like laser shooting out of the duck's eyes as you scan the room. I use them and then he honks more when there's something that's being concealed. You go ahead and use the duck. It opens its mouth. You see a beam.

He's a metal detector but he's a magic detector. A detector. You see a beam. He's a metal detector, but he's a magic detector. A detector. You sense magic. You sense magic off of a lot of these minor magic items that are around the room and everything. And as you kind of investigate and go all around, you see that the thing that is like kind of most suspicious is that her like desk is bare. And as you like go into like her like cabinets and stuff around her desk, it's all empty. This would be all her personal writings and everything. And none of it's there. But as you detect magic and as you look around,

you get a sense that there's something under the floor boards in her bedroom. Okay, I mean, I follow the quacking which I took to get to. Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where?

Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where?

Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? You see beneath the floorboards, there's a locket there in a cubby.

I am too curious, I opened the locket. As you open the locket, it begins playing a pre-recorded message. Oh. You see a projection of beedra weevil comes out of this device. You see this little goblin scientist. She is sitting at her desk in this room and addresses the device for anyone who hears this.

My name is Beedra Weevil and I am a field mage with the mothership corporation. I have been trying to get the word out about the-Class Synth program, but the journalists I was talking to stopped responding to my messages and I feared they may have turned me in. I don't know who to trust, but I need to get this out if anything should happen to me. I worked on the S-Class Synths in the later stages. They were supposed to be better, stronger and more efficient than the A-classes but they were virtually identical, except for one key difference. There's a symbol spell and a modified memory spell mixed in with the

normal elixir. I believe mothership is planning to remotely control its soldiers and alter their memories, possibly to invade the living wood and be able to avoid moral objections, be able to wipe the memories of their soldiers after they've done terrible things. I've been assigned to a field mission, to an outpost there as we speak. If something happens to me, it was a mothership. You see, she turns in the projection as she hears a banging sound behind her. You hear it. It looks like, or it sounds like, someone is at her door

coming to retrieve her for the mission. You see, she nervously scrambles to grab the device and she turns it off and the message ends. Something happened to her. Oh, I mean, it's been door dash. I don't know what her settings are normally. I was trying on Souls Optimism and it didn't fucking fit. You know, yeah another fucking container that I fucking spit out. I would feel more optimistic but she's clearly dead. I know. Okay, so I mean, she's clearly some sort of like whistleblower.

She's clearly was sent to fucking maybe get offed not to be indecent. Right. Guys, go ahead and give me insight checks. Okay. 16. Shout out to the blue to crew. Shout out to the five hive. Caldas, you are. Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

Calders. You are. You are showing yourself to be a bit of a detective. These past few missions are... I don't know, scubs who. That's right. It's all as eating bees. As you guys kind of contemplate the fate of Beedra Weevil, this whistleblower. You look at the device, the locket begins to glow

a different color. It goes from a purple to a red, as if there's another saved message on there. I hate to be nosy, but I think as a detective, we have to listen. Yeah, Calder, you're always recording messages on your personal journal that looks just like this. Do you know how it works?

You have a journal. I can't. I. I have a journal and it's assay. That's great. You do. That's great. You do. And I have to be honest, I've not put a single thing in. Wow. We should unpack that. But you've got so much to say. Please write my, do my, do my fucking therapy homework for me please. It would do my honor. It's also ludes and gets right to it.

I give him my who and my journal. A person trying their best. Okay, called it, enlighten us. Work this thingy. Okay, I'll see what I can do and then I press the button. It's really, yeah. Whoa. Does he press a race?

Yeah, he erases the message. It's over. No, you close the locket, you open it back up and you see that there is a different projection this time. And you see the same face you saw from the tube, Beatrix Netheran, an a red mask staring down at the device. a red mask staring down at the device. She looks at it for a second before placing it back in the cubby. It looks like she either activated it and recorded it by accident after watching Beedra's message, or maybe she wants to be seen to show that she's a few steps ahead of mothership. You see she pulls out a bunch of papers from the cubby and

Leafs through them before putting them away in a satchel. You had seen that the apartment looked like it was cleaned up by Mothership probably, but it looks like Beedra had hidden some more stuff below the floorboards here that Beatrix got to first. Oh, maybe that logs of her passwords and whatnot. So if she went to the office, she could hack the computer and get everything. So as you say that, Kelly, you actually see that as she puts away these papers, she pulls out a box from her bag.

You see she pulls a gauntlet from it. You see the silver glove with gold rings around the wrist. And as she puts it on and equips it, you see like a little burst of arcane energy in her hand. And you guys recognize this device as a jammer, something to dispel mothership force field so someone could reach restricted areas. This video was likely taken right before she went

to the lab ship to interrupt the ritual you guys were undergoing. And in fact, things she found here may have led her directly there. So you see she puts on this gauntlet and the last thing she does is drop this box, kick the discarded box, deeper into the cubby, and the last thing you guys see is darkness

as she covers it up in the video hence. Okay, so does this stink of collaboration between the two? It seems, well, be your ex-beaterix collaboration. Wait a minute, I think the box should still be in there. Saul hands Kalle his tongue and then rappels down into the passageway. Repelling down into Kalle. I fucking treasure the chance to hold this fucking hot frog's tongue. Disgusting. I remember you were hanging over a stick. Treasure the chance to hold this fucking hot frog stone disgusting

I remember you hang on to Saul's tongue as he drops a foot into this little cubby And he's small enough thing wriggles down there, and I guess it's a good idea in case there's a monster here or somebody to grab a Mertrap Oh, I think it's a good idea. And Saul, you do find there's this little crumpled box here that was holding the gauntlet. And you're able to grab it and pull it out of the cupi. Saul tugs his tongue twice.

He's far up. I think he's floating. So then I get the hint. I don't know. You pull him up. He was suffocating down there. It was super tight. As Saul comes out with this box,

Callie, go ahead and give me an insight check with advantage, yeah. Okay, Callie steps up to the fucking plate. That will be a 17. 17. Callie, that is the same box. That will be a 17! 17? Callie, that is the same box you saw Krugin hand to the hobgoblin the other day. What? Do you know who Krugin is dealing with?

Yeah. Do I? Um, you don't. Okay, I mean, I try to keep it above the board with Krugin because I don't know, I mean, we could just skim. Yeah. Yeah. Oothau Brugablan was. So, he's a man of the beard. He gave...

Again, it's a front. It's a front. It's a fake beard. God. His beard is fake. That's embarrassing. Should we take this box? So he gave this box to a hobgoblin and somehow it needed up here? And the hobgoblin was very upset seeing me in my attire.

My like a soldier attire. Right. So yeah, I mean, that's just... I'm worried we're gonna spook a crew again if we show him this box again though. Oh, I mean He's unspookable I don't I don't know the man behind the beer, but it seems you do Yeah, I mean, I think we have no better options. Yeah, let's do it Let's grab this box. We bring it to Krugin. Yeah, say can you put us in touch with the hop goblin?

We try to figure this out. Yeah, we're just trying to protect someone or trying to track someone down, whether they're alive or not. All right, let's get back on the scooter. Okay. How you guys get back on the scooter and it's very easy to remember which one was ours. This time you guys have to go up. I use my umbrella to sort of like tag along on the back, you know.

Okay, so you're doing like a periscale? Actually, yeah, yeah, essentially. I think I use my umbrella so that we're kind of peristing. I feel that's great. Because I was gonna say that you guys were gonna do like the subway thing of like the asshole guy who like has to bring a bike on the subway. Because you guys were going down to get to the university area

but now you have to go up and all this does is really like levitate. Yeah, so I just like make some rain storms into it and then it can float us up. I'm gonna spider man whip us forward with my tongue. Great. Yeah, so you get back up to the church of Mortadin and you do find Ford's father, Krugin.

Yeah, Kelly, I can help you. I saw you had a buddy in there just looking at a piece of toilet paper. Good. I know, he's finally doing it except actually real success story So Kruegen can I ask you about the op goblin from the other morning? Okay, uh, these guys are cool. You're all

About the yeah, or under the board and one anybody but I'm trying to get away from the boards all together. Mother shit wants us dead. So there's really, we have nothing to lose. Mother shit is trying to create. I feel crooked and I'm like what Mother shit is trying to do. Yeah, I'm gonna say we're trying to number one. Stop them from doing that. And number two, find be draw or the people be draw was connected with so we can just stop all of this from happening and just try and put things right.

We sort of went taking, we found some video evidence of the box that you gave to the Obgoblin, being used by a little someone named Beatrix Nether in pulling out a jammer, and so I'm kind of wondering to have an access to be guys go ahead and give me insight checks Cruak and immediately began Like he feels style just like like sweat coming down so hard I'm sorry. Are you writing me? Are you a rainy, are you a lightning tooth? I may be, okay.

You saw something that exchanged hands in this church being used by a quote unquote dead S-class turned vigilante who was going after the mother ship. Pretty much. Yeah, right? Okay, I am implicated in something bad. Yeah, that's right. How is that? I am implicated in something bad. Okay, but for me, I'm just smuggling.

Right. Kroegan, I'm not trying to take it to anyone. I actually am just kind of like, oh, if you have a fucking line to Beatrix, can we set a stop? Because we like to meet her. I know what you know. I thought she was just,

sorry, that she was dead on the news. I don't know anything about being a traitor. Okay, then can you maybe introduce us to your op-goblin? Okay, yeah, okay. I have to have a word with that guy because he got me into some serious shit. Okay, Kruggen, you've been there for me. I'm not trying to do anything to make you

feel uncomfortable. All right. Okay, so like, I'm on the same side. You see he? Come down, come down. Here, let me ground you, take my hands, I'll ground you. Oh, all right. It's always just this brow with a knitted handkerchief. See, a crewgen starts to feel Kelly's energy

and starts like sobbing a bit. Oh, dude, gonna get a little bit more. I just absorb it like a true extra. They're absolutely gonna kill me. Try through my eyes, cry through my eyes. You're gonna be alright. Yeah, it's almost like the situation Krugin is kind of in, it sounds like

he gave somebody a piece of technology or something and then they were not to go commit like a huge crime with it. So like he's definitely sweating a bit. But you see like he calms down after a little bit and he goes, oh, all right, galley, you were asking me about my contact. I was right. So that hop goblin is part of a crew called mop goblin. Of course. That's good. It's not that funny. It's not that funny. I'm getting into doing it for myself.

I'm so sorry. I'm doing it for me and for us. Follow your bliss. Trust your heart. Magic is real. In the head of Mob Goblin is of course ma goblin. Okay, wow. And she is a great scientist in her own right,

highly wanted by the as regards. So you're gonna have our time finding her, but my contact is a hob goblin named dark. One question, is ma goblin a mother or a grandma? I don't know her status. I think it's more of a Ma like she's the matriarch of the crime family as a word. Okay, we'll ascertain her tightness separately. Right here. So my contact is Dark. He hangs out at a bar outside the bubble called the total. It's owned by a scully wug. And you guys would know scully wugs are,

they're like the cousins of bully wugs, sort of their frogs. They're like gray frogs. Originally, a lot of them were from Chattocale. A lot of them came over. They are like gray frogs and they tend to be bigger. So while our friend Saul here is like three and a half feet tall. They're like four and a half or five feet tall.

And they're monsters, then they're big. They are like four or five hundred pounds. They're like big. Yeah. Wow. I remember the songs from my childhood. Yeah. You can stomp ants or something.

You can stomp. Stomp. B. I can'tomp ants or something. You can stomp dogs. But be kind to sculling dogs. Yeah, sketchy. Yeah, they love singing that. All right, well, that's where I know. I don't do as much business with mob goblin as I do others. But if you talk to dark, you say you're in with me,

you maybe die your armor or something, so you're in with me you may be die your Armor or something so you're not wearing the Esri blue and you can get in with them meet up with ma goblin and find out who she was selling Okay, everyone come to me bring me your armor your blue armor and I'm just gonna Use all my wateriness to just rust over oh You make it like a copper color. It gets like orange. That's all that. A couple of bettery colored my beard.

That's a problem, self. Yeah. All right, I think we need to borrow the scooter again. Oh, you're gonna take my scooter again, really. It's fine, it's in great shape. All right, I guess you gave me a mage, but like like I said I walked in there and I was trying to offer him something he was just looking at toilet paper. We you've got to let him get through that roll and then he will be good to bounce. We give you a lifetime supply of toilet

paper. Alright good. High quality stuff. You see after a bit Albin comes out. I've done it. For a lot. For a lot. You've after a bit Albin comes out I've done it for a lot of throughout you've done it Albin. Four hours of concentrating on the Toi the Paper Roll. Incredible. I'm I'll give you this one and then the Toi the Paper Roll that I have here whenever you write something on it I will see it on my Toi the Paper Roll and vice versa.vie, I just thought of a really good side project for you. What? A paper towel.

That's good. I really think I'm ready to move on. Well, you might be, but the boy wizard and the adventure of the paper towels. We promised, we promised Krugin you do another roll of toilet paper for him. Oh, yeah, actually I can use one of them. You got sending messages back and forth that could be really good on the slide. Alright, so then, and actually if you're going to do that, we should probably get all the churches that are in on this. So if you can make me six or seven of those. Alright, so that'll take me about four hours on each.

Okay, so, but I'll be you're doing it for yourself. Listen, we're gonna correspond about like what your next thing is gonna be. But for now, what your like, your big eyes are. It's still the toilet. It's still the toilet. It's still the toilet. It's still the toilet paper. But I wanna hear what you got cooking. Okay, well this is the sister role to my role.

So you just let me know. Role respondents, of course. If you need anything for me and I will be making some toilet paper for, uh, father, and it's roll of all the dags now, right? Oh, that's really good. Yeah, that's right. The boy wizard and his toilet paper. So happy, your ballspot got bigger while we were good ones.

Yes, and my hair tends to fall out as I get more stressed and I'm going to go sit in the room I love you. I love you do's all I love you, Kali I'm not ready to say I just met I love you Look surprisingly touch. Oh my god What walks away? All right, he also had a really bad breakup a few years ago. What yeah, okay, oh bands in the mission. I need to gap It was during

the Thestamus ball at launch pad Academy. I love feastimus. I love feastimus too. It's great. You know, they were doing the traditional exchanging of meals. The other wizard schools come to the school and you switch meals and the food gets kind of cold. And so the wizards there have to heat up the food together.

I just think you need to let him tell it. I'm not in a position to divulge the same. Okay, okay. I shout to Albi that we're gonna talk about our mutual breakups when I get back. Oh, no. I also just went from a breakup. It's said to you, you get a message in your toilet paper roll. I hear you, sister.

All right, onto the scoop. Oh, you guys get back. I'll put the duck on the front. Oh, absolutely. She's the fastest duck in the front. And I'm gonna squeeze him like a horn whenever you want. It's a horn. Whaa, whaa, whaa.

You see, yeah, he's, I mean, physically this duck is magic. So he squeezed him and you need him as a horn and you feel there's no bones there. He's just Where? It's a great Terrifying nothing to break Can I drive this time? I really enjoy driving that airship And I'd love to try and drive something for a second time in my life. Yeah, okay I will say you can wear me as Elbed

You guys I think do get the sense that like it would take them a minute to find you guys at Father Krugins place like he's pretty good at keeping a low profile. You guys could take a long rest if you think you need one. Oh. Okay. Yeah. I can never turn that time. Yeah. maybe we like chill. We have like a little daytime snooze and then we hit up the tavern at night. I'll say you guys go to bed. It's just about daybreak as you guys get back

from Beedra's apartment. And you guys go to bed for the night. Albi miserably burns the Midnight Oil and chanting another to the paper roll for Krug and you guys wake up the next day a little bit later into the afternoon Pitful dreams about Glenn You you dream about Glenn and you think about The the way that you saw The eyes of that red dragon elf looking in at you.

You remember Glenn's bright green eyes. And you saw him often, he would not wear the mask, but they would wear the masks when they were dealing with like outsiders essentially. I think Saul is like feeling really charged up. Like this is the first time he's felt like purpose in a while. Yeah, it's felt like really renewed. So he wakes up extra early and puts targets all around the room and it's going to flick at them when it's tongue.

Hell yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I wake up and I'm like, oh, you decorated. It's been on my mind. I need to decorate and I've been putting it off, but thank you. Yeah, I use some of the paint I found on the corner and I just put targets up on the wall. I hope that's okay. Absolutely paint what?

I know that I hit it if I lick a little paint. It's very wet still. Sweet, so you guys have this bar, the toad hole, that that's crewing said that his contact usually hangs out at Oh, so because we're I mean this is like normal for us right we slept during the day, but we're the night shift Yeah, sure very normal. Yeah, all right night. Everything about us is normal. I feel normal and yeah I feel alert alive good normal. I feel tired. Is it all right if I go to bed? I'm not just not having a boss. Yeah.

You're, you're, you're working. Because again, my whole life was a lie. Because you're on boss, you make your own hours. Our life was a lie, but now you're living your truth. Right, but Calder, do I have to make the toilet paper? I was gonna say, yeah, you make your own hours, you're your own boss. And if you've done at least, you know, the 16 rolls

of toilet paper that, yeah, you should probably a tremendous amount, yeah. Oh, that's, then you know, the 16 rolls of toilet paper that you have to do the last one. You should probably a tremendous amount, yeah. Oh, that's, then you're off the talk. Great, I'm doing this for me. Yeah, you're doing this for me. I'm doing it for me, the boy wizard, and he's doing it for him. I see that pack is a little shy,

so yeah, I just maybe want to do more rolls. Yeah, I can go over it. Hey, hey, hey, I love you. I Sweet you guys take Um, oh once again take Krugins Moe back Which I'll say you guys like essentially ruins like Krugin when you bring it back He's like oh The shocks are gone. Yeah, you would drag this on the ground.

Oh my God. That's not how it's supposed to work. No, it's supposed to hover, my friend. You guys get on this mothership mo pad. And you fly out and you exit the Esri bubble. You see there's this purple tint, this arcane bubble, just as the sun is setting. You guys leave making our rust-colored armor glow red. You guys do feel like a sense of freedom. Is it a gorgeous sunset?

It is a gorgeous sunset. You guys look out. What's the whole of Carlos? It's like a red orange. You see a pink sky. I will say like the there is a lot of beauty inside the bubble but it is like it's got this like artificial quality to it like you're essentially in like Disney World or Times Square. It's like all very everything is perfect and nice and the arcane bubble does kind of like this force field obscures things like the sunset and stuff so So you come out of it, you see the sunset. For the first time in a while,

you guys have been outside the bubble, but you don't spend much time outside. Wow, wow. And you look out and you see this beautiful, natural sunset. I'm back in the afternoon. I love feeling the wind on my throat sack. Oh, love it. I love hearing it.

So you guys are in the outer city here. Here it is much more flat. The buildings don't get that tall. Most of them are made of stone, but there is a variety to them, which is different than within the bubble where everything kind of looks the same. So it's got its own kind of character. The cobblestones in the streets, a lot of them are missing. They're missing a lot of stones.

It's definitely pretty rough as you make your way. You do see people barking on the side of the road that are trying to sell bootleg mothership products and stuff like that. Like you can tell that there are a lot of, there are essentially a lot of like amateur scientists and stuff who sell their products out here in the outer city. If I see anyone trying to sell a rola decks of toilet paper,

I'm going to flick it out of their hands. It's our thing. You see that they are more likely to use like torches and stuff and actual physical stuff Here instead of enchanting everything and it does you know There's there's a niceness to being around things that like kind of feel real for once Yeah, as we're riding in I think Saul like mentions like you know actually before I went to the academy I I grew up in the outer bubble for any outer city. Yeah. Yeah, I was I was abandoned and I lived in a

for any outer city, yeah. Yeah, I was abandoned and I lived in a defunct water park for a while and actually, defunct. Yeah, I think the inter bubble mothership tried to expand and build some water parks in the outer city and they didn't really work out and not enough people were coming to them so they kind of fell into disrepair and that's where I lived for a couple of years.

There was actually a couple of scully wugs that lived there too and I radically enough they were bullies to me for a couple of years. There's actually a couple of scullywigs that live there too and I wrote a clean of they were bullies to me a bully walk So that's I don't actually I'm not really thrilled to be meeting with them again I see well if on the way back you wanted to swing by your water park We could try to do that. Yeah, I could freeze it over. We get skater. We get skate there I love to skate in a D-Funk water park. That might be nice.

Alright. I'm a really good skater. I just kinda saw my... I put them better. What's fucking go? One winter I just froze and slept the whole time. Oh my god. You hibernated and you're not supposed to.

Honestly, after Glenn, I did a similar thing. It's nice to not think for a bit. I've been a little bit more than I thought. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are companies that make pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's going to be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

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To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Um, so you guys, uh, follow the instructions that Kroogin gave you, um, and you make it to this big saloon called the Toadhole. It's a rowdy, open air tavern, two tiers with a balcony and a, and a veranda where people are drinking and dancing, um, you see a goblin with a red

suit jacket is playing piano. Normally, uh, when you guys are like guys are in the bubble, they really like to flaunt how much they use magic and it'll be like, hey, violin playing itself, or an air elemental doing it. And this is like, you're like, whoa, dude, playing an instrument. That's pretty fucking cool. Yeah, well, that's crazy. I take out my bedpipes and I jam. Go ahead and give me a performance check.

What are birdpipes and I jam. Uh, go ahead and give me a performance check. What are bird pipes? Uh, I don't really know what they are. What I'm picturing is that each different, like, it almost looks like, um, a bunch of pipes and each pipe plays a different, uh, type of bird. So I'm gonna go for like a nice gobble gobble while it turns out. That's gonna be a 16. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you start playing pretty good.

Um, you see this, uh this goblin starts playing along with you and changing to fit your song. Kind of nods at you and gives you a smile. I'm gonna do like a frog hobbit dance on a table. You do a frog hobbit dance on a table. You see a bunch of people get pumped up and start going to give me, you give me a performance check. Uh oh.

Wow. No. That's a three. I oh wow no uh that's a three and my performance uh that's a five total a five total um you see hey hey hey hey hey hey you see you start doing that and the people that are sitting at the table go get the fuck over table the straight

I was doing a fun day I was about to leave you I got out of here was where I was in the moment you just played a nice song And you can move here. You start kicking drinks. I'll come up on the table with me. We'll spin around Believe in saying believe in yourself you can do it You see old toad The scully wug behind the bar,

the owner, a shot. Mr. Toad himself. Mr. Toad himself. Shouts out. No static on the tables, dancing on the floor. Yeah, down the floor, floor dance. Floor dancing it is. That's still pretty good.

Saul does a depressed triple back flip. Okay, okay. I wipe all the spit off my birdbite, and that gets to work. Can I look around to see if DARK is here? Yeah, good. Yeah, guys, go ahead and give me a perception check. Look, me, that's a three. That's another three.

Callie, you look around. You do not see any hob goblins on this level. There is a second level, but I will say with that role, as Saul gets down from the table and stuff, this ogre just yelled at him, you do notice as you look around. You see that there's all these characters around the bar and stuff. You know, there's there's humans there's elves there's halflings But then there's also like Minotaur's and like werewolves and ogres and stuff You see this ogre that was sitting at this table that yelled at Saul Sees you and kind of does it double take oh

No, I'm feeling confrontational. Hey, I saw you look at me. Yeah, did you? Yeah, I was wondering, like, do you recognize me? Are your friends with Glenn? Um, excuse me, looks absolutely baffled. Hahaha. Do you, my friends with Glenn? Yeah.

Who the fuck is Glenn? Sounds like a euphemism. No, no, no. I was just thinking about earning myself 35 gold. It's 30. It's 30. No, he's 35. I'm going to take that five away from me.

OK. I see. I see. I see. So that's what you want to do. You want to kill me for 35 gold, not even enough to buy a minor potion of healing. That's what you want to do. I don't see you hurting me, so I don't think I'll need a potion. I'll give you, I'll give you 50 gold. Yeah? Yeah. Just. I'll give you 50 gold.

Yeah, yeah, just let's not cause any trouble. We gotta get dark on our side. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage. Do we have 50 gold? I think it might start in back, it would. Yeah, I'll say you guys have, I mean, you guys are level five and you're worth, and you were starting with my starting was like 150 or something. Oh, well, okay.

Yeah, 14. 14, he takes the gold and he goes, all right, finally somebody with a little reason. Thank you, Koldo, you didn't need to do that. Little too much reason, this guy won't even dance on the table. You're worth much more than that. I stop.

We're waiting. We're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting. Jump seven, your arms. Okay, so I'm gonna get a mop. I'm gonna make a mess. Put off the caution wet floor signs. I'd freeze them as they fall to the ground. Oh, do they shatter? I think I'll be using the toilet paper. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah That's a noisy place that downstairs there's a piano player and up here there's a fiddle player. Other dancing to choose every thing.

There's no way there's a infectious. Yeah. Call their dances on a table. I can't do. I dance on a table. Going to give me performance text. Salt crosses this arm. That is a 24 for me.

Oh my god, that's awesome. I got an 11 that turns into a 10. That's awesome. I got an 11 that turns into a 10. That's awesome. Okay, you see, as Calder, you go to step up on somebody's table, it immediately tilts and it drinks, it spills in this table. Oh, that house is wide. That's wide.

Weak tables. But there's a table of halflings. They've all got like little like newsboy cap. And you see, Callie jumps up, it starts doing a dance, they start like clapping along. I will say, I'll call you a perception check form before. Callie, you look around and you do see that dark,

this hobgoblin that wears like a duster, has like a breastplate underneath, is at a table with a few other hobgoblins and then a couple humans and like an elf. Should we walk over with some drinks maybe, try and put a good foot forward? I know that, yeah. Very sweet.

What are we drinking? Can we take a look at the drinka? Yeah, you look at what they're drinking They look to just be drinking a classic ale. Oh, they're gonna be drinking out of a frosty mug Rost some bugs you guys you guys and I do bring over a pitcher of water because sometimes it's hard to get Holy shit a pitcher of water and frosty mugs, you guys go down, you throw a couple silver to old toad and you guys bring some beer upstairs and you bring these beers over to a dark and company.

He looks up at you, Callie and goes, good to see you again. What are, oh, hi. Are you looking for me? What do you do? I am, yeah, we came to talk to you because obviously I'm good, I'm clear. Like we're on the same level. On the same level.

We're both, you know, have criminal elements. You don't see anything. I know, I'm always so transparent with it. You're just like a general mumbling, like, yeah, I'll do criminal stuff. Okay, basically, we are looking for your friends. And we talked to Krugen, and he said that you hang out here, and he said to say we're friends with you, we've Krugen, and it will get us in with you.

We are looking for Beatrix. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage because of the frosty mugs that you deliver. You see like that, the dark looks like a little bit of a tougher audience, but the other guy's like, oh, this is gold. I wink at them. That's gonna be a 24.

And water? I was feeling a little dehydrated. We had to wait a little while. We didn't get it. You see dark looks at kind of the other guys around him and just kind of like motions for them to go. And you see dark gestures for you guys to sit. I sit down very wetly. I sit down very heavily. I sit down very squishily. You're all sitting down in very strange ways. I don't know what you mean about this Beatrix thing.

I hold up the box, the crumpled box that he delivered. Everybody give me insight checks. Whoa. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a know that Beatrix has anything to do with this though. You see he looks at it and goes, this was a jammer. He nods. There were parts in here to help my boss make a jammer. Okay. I may have brought that to her and forge father Krugin may have helped me attain the parts we needed great. Okay, so there's more steps than we thought here And I love the circuitous language, so we're Looking for someone that might have gotten something from your boss, right? We just want to ask your boss So you might want to meet the person that I am maybe employed by

You might want to meet the person that I am employed by, potentially. Circuitously and certitiously. Possibly. If I were to tell you who my boss was, I would be lying if I were to say it wasn't Mahagablan. Mahagablan. I whisper to both of them, this is actually Thief's can't. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The thing is, everyone knows, Maagablaen exists out here. She knows how to hack Esri technology like no other.

They keep updating the different shields and stuff and she keeps figuring out ways to get around it. So, suffice it to say, she is somebody that we like to keep hidden. So, last time I saw you, um, points of Cali, you were wearing isri blue. Do you have any means of like identification or anything? Because if you were to scan my tummy button, you would see that my mana stone has been jailbroken, which means that this little soldier aspin gel broken. You're on the bubble. We pop the bubble. We pop the bubble.

Okay, okay. I'll tell you what, if you want to earn my trust, if you want to meet Magaublin, I need you to prove your disloyalty as it were to the mother ship. I love a trial. What, what are need us to do? All right, so the job those rats try to do the other night. That's kind of their MO. Usually they hijack ships that are traveling outside to other towns. They do it from here. Recently they took over an airship and crashed it in an

abandoned district not too far from here. Problem is took over an airship and crashed it in an abandoned district not too far from here. Problem is, the rats crashed the ship in a territory owned by a different crew. They're currently squabbling over the spoils. Perfect time for somebody else to swoop in and take it out from under them. You go in there. So you are not in with the rats? No. You hate rats. I do.

Okay, that's what, because we're kind of, well, we don't hate the rats, but we certainly made an impression on them. The rat crew, the juicy rats out here. I'm not. Yeah. Not friends of mob goblin. Okay.

Okay, so in order to achieve an audience with Margablin, you get me the little Erin that is nothing for a couple of jailbroken soldiers. Right. So this is a classic swoopin scoop, classic swoopin scoop, which we may do. and there's a slight gang war in the streets over it. Um, how slight on a scale of wonder raging. It's a raging. Okay, okay. Okay, yeah. So that where so um stealth is probably the name of the game here.

Oh, we can just like wipe them all out. True. Am I being ambitious? We got options. I do like the glimmer in your eye when you say that, but, uh... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha going to go ahead and do that just for you and we're going to prove that you can trust us and then you're going to be begging us to meet Mark Arblin and that I can say with 100% certitude. Maybe. I will you flew in in Beastcat. I don't know. All right well. I couldn't even pick it up. My family speaks it fluently. It's guttural. Ah! So, if you were to do this job for us and you were wanting to contact me,

it wouldn't be a non-good idea to hit me back up as it were on this toilet paper that Magoplin designed. Oh, I'm handsome. Fuck me. Pristine role of toilet paper. It's a laminate. It's a laminate.

I'm sorry, well, no. What do you call this, this model? This is Maagoplin's shit messages. I'm name is bad. It's good. We can fucking take this. Goblins shit messages I'm not We can fucking take this long. Yeah, can I do an inspection to see how many ply this is? It's it's I am right off the bat high ply and Dark boys not only can you send messages? You can also wipe your ass with it and the shit will come off

We so it's not a one or the other thing. We can't tell. Albu. Albu. Albu. Albu. So you just write on the toilet paper when you've got it and we'll come in and looks at you deadly serious. If you try to skim off the top. I'll know. Okay. What if after we secure it because we will, I have a hundred percent certainty about that. I don't even do self-doubt. It's just not part of me. MMO. There you go, Cali. I'm crying. But is there a chance that we could maybe we can each take one thing, but it can't be the best thing You can each have one true

Absolutely, well, we've got a scooter so we're gonna scoot on out here Sweet, um, so you guys leave Dark here. Oh actually we weren't finished with our drinks though. Where we know that we're okay. Okay, it's great. Tongue keeps getting stuck to the frosty side of the cloud. You guys, I got to wait a bit. You guys drink your drinks, drink in the fiddle, drink in the fiddle.

I absorb the fiddle through my skin. You guys finish your drinks and you walk from this district to the one that dark told you about. You had all this life and all these people around you. We scoot, we scoot, you're scooting. I'm so sorry. We don't walk in sync. We scoot and scrape. You scoot and scrape. We have to go across the ground.

It slowly transitions from this very lively place to a ghost town. You begin to see boarded up buildings on which there is various graffiti lots of apocalyptic messaging I want a reason. Oh you keep seeing this name the light keepers That looks to be the crew that maybe is in this area of town. They may they may have like chased other people out You see messages that say Theala was right. You see a new cataclysm. All shall join her. This feels very much like, and you guys know about Theala and how she did destroy a bunch of cities in the world by bringing great plague and earthquakes and everything on the world. This appears to be a religious cult that believes that that is good.

Oh, God. And what was the allas impact on the Feywild? On the Feywild, not as much as on the material plane. Okay, so I mean like really heard that. You probably haven't heard that much about the allas, especially because in the Feywild, crazy magic shit happens all of the time. But I will say that around the time of the cataclysm,

there was this huge battle during which there was a rift open that brought in a bunch of alladrens. So brought settlers to the material plane from the other world, and they eventually created a city to the south called Marengate, south of the main continent. And Caliure family were smugglers. They basically smuggled things from the Feywild through there, and then like sold magic items throughout Bohemia. wild through there and then like sold magic items throughout Bumia.

Okay. So I mean, I don't really have much of an opinion of the order. No, I mean the light keepers would come around to the water park everyone's in a while to try and recruit people. And they would offer you milk and white bread, but you would have to listen to a whole sermon

and they would try to like make you pledge a blood oath. It was a whole thing. So it sounds lame and weird. It's pretty intense, but the milk was good. I think that's just so fun, right? We should try it. Best we can, yeah. Do we get a sense of where the crashed airship is?

I imagine there are people like guarding it or fighting it. Yeah, dark told you exactly where it was. So you guys travel, and I'll have you guys to do your stealth check once you get within range of people. Um, but you guys find an old church of the goddess, the yalla here. This seems to be one of the only places that is not abandoned here. See, there's a cracked statue of her out front two broadswords at her side, tunic over

plate mail. The church itself is still standing, but the windows have been blown out. It may have been like that for a while, or it may have just happened because there's a fucking airship crashed into the roof. Okay. And you hear all this yelling, the sounds of arcane explosions and steel on a steel as the juicy rats and the light keepers fight in the street and the church. It's like one of those things where like it's it's literally like urban warfare where it's like you see these cultists, these like cultists of the all of the light keepers. They have these like white cloaks on that are like all dirty and stuff because they've

been like fighting for a while. So they're coming out and like fighting with swords and stuff and they are fighting against rats that are either like the rat folk that you saw like the rogues. They're coming out and fighting with swords and stuff, and they are fighting against rats that are either like the rat folk that you saw, like the rogues, or ones that may have monestones, that may have like self altered themselves and are now like all like swollen magical. And the juicy applause to the fact that they're all juicing.

Not their asses. They also have juicies. The juicy ones have juicies, yes. Okay, great. Good to know. Yeah. So guys, go ahead and give me, I'll say they're in the middle of a fucking battle.

Go ahead and give me stealth checks with advantage. And we'll do a group one. So if two of you pass, you're good. So I usually roll with disadvantage. I'll roll. Flat. S to 22. 19.

Great. I got a 10.. Okay, um you guys go up you hide behind this like big statue of the a la there's fighting going on all around you um you see at least five of these lightkeeper cultists and two like lightkeeper priests fighting like three rat folk rogues and one of these like buff rats that has a monestone. I'm an inside, you hear more stuff going on and the airship is crashed in there. Before we go in, I'm gonna give you both fey inspiration. Thank you. Is that Bartikenspiration?

Yeah. Okay, great. Is anyone on the airship? That would be very unlikely. You see that the airship that crashed here is completely vertical. And you would imagine that the payload, the thing that you're trying to get to, is probably in the hole.

So you can't just like pop up and grab it. But we could hop up and then climb down, sure. Yeah, I say we avoid the street. Yeah, I was wondering if I could just like hop onto the roof of the church and then kind of make my way to the airship. I say we do that. The longer we can let them fight each other,

the gutter. Pobat, yeah. So maybe as our way, I can hop up and then throw a rope down to y'all. Let me see, how high can you jump? If I use my bonus action step of the wind, I think 24 feet. Yeah, you can jump to the right here.

Because I think my normal jump speed, my normal jump height is 12, but then it's doubled with step of the wind. It's rad. So it gets on top of the building. Oh, as you get up there, you feel like a little bit of like a crunch as like the airship shifts a little bit. And the roof like crunch is a little bit. I mean, throw down that road. OK, here we go. I'm sorry, it's a little bit. I mean, throw down that rope. Ha ha.

Okay, here we go, I'm sorry, it's a little wet. I tossed it down. It's gonna get wet. I sure you should go first, because if you eat shit, I can get you up there. Oh, all right, okay. I'll climb the rope. Go ahead and give me an athletic check.

It is sticky. Shout out to the one Okay, I'm going to touch him and can I fake? No, is this a reaction? This thing has to resolve okay, so you see Calder begins climbing up the rope is struggling a bit Get to the top of the roof grabs the top is struggling a bit, gets to the top of the roof, grabs the top, uses his weight to pull himself up and called her, will always consider himself small, crashes through the roof. You see, Alder disappears into the room below, everybody go ahead and roll initiative.

Whoa, Ald's are folder. It's really affirming though. Thank you. That's just a weak roof. Ha ha ha. 19. I have a 17. Oh, 17 for me too.

Roll off? Uh, I think you have hired. Oh, no, maybe I have good decks. What's your decks? Yeah, my decks actually might be my highest stat. Is yours plus four? Mine is. Plus five. Oh, wow. might be my highest stat. Is yours plus four? Mine is plus five. Oh, wow.

That's my highest stat. So after you, so Calder, you fall through the roof. You see a solid. You initiate combat then started. Yeah. All around you, you see a bunch of the roof collapses and you even see the airship that is stuck at like hanging out of this fucking roof shifts down

And you hear like a ton of noise as a call dirt bangs down called her you are going to take Eight damage right off the bat as you crash into like a bunch of these broken downed pews right into the middle of a fucking battle I saw I'll say you're among, you manage to stay up even though a bunch of the roof collapses, but you're able to stay on one of the support beams, the shingles fall. You see a little frog head poke over the hole in the roof and you go, you good? No. Calder.

You just crash down amongst these broken down pews. There's fighting all around you You see there are three rat folk rogues two big juicy rats with infected monastones and one super juicy rat Who looks like could be like the leader like the chief the big guys are doing these unstable arcane blasts as they club away at their enemies Like these wild magic surgeons. They are battling three light keeper cultists, just kind of the run of the mill minions, two light keeper priests who look like their spellcasters, like a little bit tougher, and two more cultists who are protecting their leader, this priestess in a dirty white robe with long-blonde hair. And as she gathers her followers around her to protect her, she yells out, We will retake our church.

See all that has delivered this to us. I don't have a beard, but that hurts. This to us, we're the light. I feel our speaking to me. He reminds me of someone I hate. I'm deep, deep in the recesses of my mind. I will say, Calvary, there is chaos all around you. So these guys are going to still attack each other.

The rat folk rogues are just gonna attack the little weeny cultists, the regular guys. Literally not one first guy. Second guy hits a cultist and fully kills one. The regular light keepers do not, like they're not wearing any armor, they're wearing like white cloaks, get stabbed. Oh, the light, light, take me!

Oh, God, they were always like this. Yeah. They put on really bad plays. Third worship this lady, she failed. Third rat folk rogue also gets a one. Calder that is your turn. All right. How many, I mean there's a ton.

There's just, yeah, there's like 15 people in here, but they're all fighting each other. But you do see you have, you have drawn some attention by crashing through the ceiling. Who the hell are you? I'm gonna, I don't have any reason to hate this cultist. Except, I guess they seem like they're a ringleader. So, I'm going-

They would try to recruit children from the water park. It was pretty dodgy. That's, that's- That's why he was defunct. A lot of kids lived there, it was like urchin paradise. Oh, great. That's all I. It was like, urchin paradise. That's all I needed to hear. I call up the spell from my hometown,

and I cast Ice Knife. Oh shit. Oh, man. I'm called this. Throwing Ice Knife at Sister Rosalene. Okay, so first, she has to succeed on a deck safe. Okay. 12. That fails. Okay. 12.

That fails. Great. She doesn't even see it coming. Ice and I've heading straight towards her. Explodes into a bunch of other shards of ice. Anyone within five feet of her needs to succeed on another deck save or take 2d6 gold.

So two gold. Coltists over here that are protecting her. Protect sister Rosalene. She is the one who gets us closer to the Allah God they're unlike they both fell great Oh Fucking six total okay, um So six goes to everybody actually no only three goes to the cultists and six goes to

Rose god, okay, oh snowflakes Sister Rose really looks Hardier the other guys actually look like they were pretty hurt by that. Oh Sister help God, I'm so embarrassed to find you are an enemy of the light. You've come crashing from the sky, and yet you are clearly directly from hell. Ha ha ha ha ha. Wow, God that hurt. That was so fast.

Wait, that's like kind of cool. Yeah, we're from hell. What the fuck are you doing? We're from sky hell. Callie, that is your turn. All right, I share your trepidation like, why am I going after this random woman, but she seems to be in charge. We can work together. She said we were for the light. Get rid of the rats, and we can destroy the magic items.

Because the progress of humanity is direct affront to the Allah. with the yalla, get her. I was enough, okay, I was just going to, I guess I probably have to face step in, right? Yeah. So I face step in right in front of Rosalene, and I'm just gonna try to hit her. Great, they always get you in with the white bread and the milk, and then they go on about the enemy of progress and all that sort of stuff. They got you in with the white bread and milk.

I was very hungry. in with the white bread and milk Did somebody say white bread To say 17 hits it does I'm doing doom blade and I'm going to just defensive flourish and Smite shit. Oh, that's a big stack. That's a big juicy stack that stack is is bigger and juicier than all of these rats. I don't know. I'm pretty juicy. She's invited Anne Floresh. Begins doing a belly dance with this extremely infected belly button gemstone. It's catching on the style. I got 39 damage. She just cries.

And yet extra plus five to my AC for the next round So fuck sake you swing into sister Rosalind. There's this explosion That knocks her and the two calls us that are protecting her back and she scrambles up enemy of the light So she also has to move Cuz I use doomblade on her. She suffers a premonition of Doom, cause I'm like, yeah, well from fucking hell. So she suffers a premonition of Doom

until the end of my next turn, unless the target moves five feet, it takes another 2D6 psychic damage. Okay, see, sweet. So yeah, she's wide eyed. She sees a premonition. The destruction is coming. We will be reunited with Yala soon my followers. Wait, what a premonition of doom to her though since they want a cataclysm. She's just like there's no cataclysm. It's just Tuesday.

After Kelly, that's all stern. All right. So I see my friends attacking these I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be.

I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be.

I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be. I is gonna sound weird, but electrocute me. You got it! And I just like, I charge up a thunderous smite, but don't use it. So while I'm falling, I summon my spectral gauntlets,

and I am going to cast Thunder Wave and slam the ground. Woo! So shit. What kind of save do they make con? That's going to be a DC 15 con save. Okay, sister Rosalene fails

cultists pass All three call all the cultists pass just the two. Yeah, okay cool And then after that I am going to use my bonus action to do 2d6 damage from my gauntlets. Okay Go ahead and roll all your damage. They need to make a dexay for that. Okay, all three. Got it. Okay. Um, that one, Sister Rosalene passes, and the cultists fail.

Cool. Alright, okay. Um, so I will do the Thunder damage for you, and then, uh, the Force damage. Great. Uh, yeah, you slam down, um, bolts of electricity around you as your Astral Gauntlets hit the ground. The milk is not good! It's not even whole milk. You're from the water park That's right you could live with us here in the abandoned church

Why is everybody living abandoned shit? I went to a cool school where magic was real Fuck that's only for lightning damage, okay, and then let me do the damage for the Force. Okay, that is going to be eight damage. You kill the two cultists, that will protect that. That's a disaster, Rosalene. Just thunder and ice. Ah, I love that. After Saul's turn, that is the two buff rats turns.

They see that you got, these are fighting fighting the cultists and they go like, all right, and they're going to go ahead and go after the three remaining just regular light keeper cultists. There's two light priests that look a little better, but they're going to go after the regular guys. First big buff rats, swings into one these coltists and straight up blows up their head with this like arcane smite. You see their belly button monestone I'm beginning surging it's incredibly unstable. They're gonna go ahead and roll on

the wild magic table. Okay I'm gonna say to the while you do that I'm saying like hey give us this cargo and we've got a mage that can stabilize Your manestones. Yeah, go ahead people wipe away the impurities of your manestone like with toilet paper Uh, give me a persuasion check No, yeah 17 this buff rat looks at you and goes Finish off these guys and we'll talk. Okay, you see a burst of magic.

You see he suddenly burns up and turns to dust and up here's 20 feet over the cultus. He just exploded and begins falling 20 feet. He's fine, he's just 20 feet up. After him, that is the other buff dude, he's gonna go ahead and take to attack against the other guy, hits on the first attack, hits on the second attack, straight up, blows up this dude,

he's gonna go ahead and roll on the wild magic table as you see another wild magic circle from him. You guys hear faint ethereal music for the next minute. You sound like my bad pipes. I think it's actually counting crows. Oh, but that's one of the pipes. I'm like, oh, it's a counting crows deep track for some real three.

Oh my God. I just have no place to go. Oh, thank you. That's a good show. You're a little flabbling. Right, breasted Robin and Adam Doritz. After the Buffrats, that is the two lightkeeper priests turns. They see who their enemies are.

They're going to go ahead and take cracks at Calder here. Actually, you know what, first things first, one of them is gonna cast Hold Person on Calder. Oh no, I hate that, I hate that. Oh, wow. Hold Person sucks out. Because he's over on the side to do a nice knife.

Where are the only people that hold him? Hold Person on a cold person. Very, the only one that can hold you is the light of the Allah. We can feel her hand. Actually my very pissed Jessica says the only person that Oh, Jew is you so. What? Just because wise.

Go ahead and give me a bit. I actually fucking ate it. I know. I wish you would listen to that. I'll set you on how you're right. I'll give you a wisdom saving throw, Calder. Wisdom saving. I've been the need of Jessica. Ha ha ha.

Shout out to the two crew. Oh, you are incapacitated, you're stuck. How do I get out of that? At the end of each of its turns, you can make another wisdom saving throw. Okay, great. So it's the end of your turn. Then the other one is going to go ahead

and try the same thing on Kali. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Ooh, no! Oh dear. Oh, shadow to the two-true. Oh, poetic. You guys are in a tough spot. Two of you get frozen.

Shit. That is... Thank God we had an attack to rat. You guys have not attacked a rat. Yeah That is the buffest rat of all the juicy rat chief The juicy rat chief sees that you guys are frozen thinks about it for a second. Thanks better of it It's just gonna club at one of the regular cult fanatics You see an arcane explosion and he manages to take out the last of the regular coltists. So I'll watch this as a glutes clenching slow motion. After the rat chief, that

is sister Rosalene got these frozen people in front of her. Let me read though she might make she might take 2d6 more psychic damage. Only if she doesn't move she'll move. She'll move. Right. She has her frozen And you guys can't get up with any attacks. Sister Rosalene is going to go ahead and cast spiritual weapon. You see, woof. A magical sword appears in Kali's hand. You see, she makes it fly out of Kali's hand

and attack the rat folk chief. Oh! She's gonna go attack the Rat Folk Chief. Oh! He's gonna go ahead and make a deception check. Oh wow, there goes our ally. Dirty. You see sword hits the Rat Folk Chief in the back. You see the other Rat Folks point over at Kalleyingo. It was her! It was her, she was setting this up.

He would turn the juice against us. The rats lock onto you guys. Two of you incapacitated, and that's where we'll end our sentence. No! No! Oh my god! Oh my god! You just sit!

What? You're right. That's what you get. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? You try to align yourself with your enemies, the buff rats. You're really mean to us. Yeah, I think so too. Really, I'm a man.

You're being nasty. I'm a nasty little fucking rat. You put us in a church and it's bad? I never said. I've never done that. Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash nat pot.

There's any DDPO D don't sing. Yeah. We sing with you. We sing with you. To listen to our after show. The short rest. Does anybody have anything they like to plug? Come check out our live shows.

Check them out. Nat pot.com slash live. I just like to say. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, yeah. Talking. Fucking. You like two wholeall are murph to his face. Yeah. Fucking fucking. You're like two-hole persons.

That was like really rude. This is how good you're doing. Two-hole persons. Sorry. I can't believe you used this belt. I can't believe you used this belt in the game again. This is what happened. The sad thing is, I do have proficiency in wisdom saves,

but I have a zero wisdom. So. So. Okay. I will plug our PO box. If you want to send nasty little notes to Merck. saves but I have a zero wisdom. So, okay. Um, I will plug our PO box. You want us to send nasty little notes to him? Yeah, send nasty little notes. Please don't send me.

Please don't send me. I mean, nasty little notes. Send nasty little postcards from beautiful places that he can't go because he's still loose. Yeah, he should. Send me, here's what I'll say. You have to say, I'm just kid kidding guy. Love you. Okay. Yeah I have to be cheeky nasty. Yeah, be taking us

We're be a cheeky nasty so you gotta come into the cheeky nice And I don't want you tweeting em or for using any digital means to be no And you have to post card. Yeah, you used to be a postcard from somewhere beautiful from somewhere beautiful And the rousing that you do to me has to be about how I'm not at the place. Right, you have to play like, of course you're not in Barcelona, you fucking American loser.

Yeah, that type of, yeah. Check me out, I'm at the Arroll Borealis, you fuck. Yeah, there you go. Oh my God, I am just like secretly trying to turn this into a collage for myself. Yeah. It's gonna be a little bit of a kill. Yeah. I'm very excited for this gallery wall of nasty little postcards.

1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number two to two. Los Files, California at 9-0-027. Got a lot of stuff with the PO box I need to shout out, but we'll get to that next week. Sweet. Thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on social media that we're maybe already used. At C.H. Merfsme, at Caldwell, at A.X.R.D. Emily and AtriaCoursees. Jake, any who tweeted about the show using hashtagnadpod.com.

That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are your... The youth of a nation, we are we are... The youth of a nation. And now it is time to thank our benevolent counsel of elders. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hugh C. Later, McSkater, Matt M. Darby N. M. Jordan D.J. Cutter W. Dylan B. Dungeon Mama, Dan Yale, the Dasterdly Dame. Beard Mandan, Scott D. Danny P. Michael Mick D. Vincent W. Miss Turg Cole, Victor T. Nurtle, Andrew B. Justin I. Ragnar Faredwin T.J. M. Kaley E. Elena M.

Traylae the cray-fay Jared E. Christopher B. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt. Philbert the therapy duck Richard X Machina. Michael L. Taylor S. Sir Carl Jori S. Calum L. Jack L. Sam L. Nicholas C. Samuel B. Mike H. Martin P. Matthew E. Colton B. Adam G. Niebadger. Panama James. Andrew the Bard. Captain Sijal. Nathan C. The assistant

King to the assistant King of Iron Deep. Hail to the Hammer. Grace G. Diana. C. C. Lulu L. Barnes and Aitor Michelle O. Harcule. Pooyoro, the rabbit folk detective, Timmy R. Croc A Hallick, Lucas B. Rikko, It's Kevin, Calder's Cold Come, How Dare You, New York, Cass, Skateboard Cass, Steven C. Michael M. Mike K. Lady, Taco, Joy T. Nara, Jake L. Nick W. Brave the Badger, Esme, M. M. M. M Mad Druid, A has been trying to undo his friend who has been stuck as a polymorphed sheep for three weeks, Handy Annie 001, Aaron the Asshole Ranger, Big Bad, Beard of the Mad, Eric Mick D, Giant Monsters on the horizon, Gulia, Julia, Burley T. Percival Fredericks and Van Mussel Klawowski D. Rolo the third Christian A. J. Dragonborn Joe Roe the inner propo Cody B. Liam D. The Sandray and Ben A. Feldonis

John the third Dave H. Vivian Kuala Bear Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Dustin S. Connor F. Hawkeye Pierce bookfars assistant Izzy F. The Timewalker, two left eyes, DPC is awesome. Blair, the bug, Blair, Bar, Blarion, Cat C. Kelsey J. Pork Chop, Salina, and Valacy Raptor, Manette the Magnificent, Magikarp, Pat L, Atchuta A. Lauren H. Amber W. Ryan as the charming fluff, Robert Crisp, Brent Lee C. Micah B. Mr. Satan the World Marshall Arts Champion and the Earth's Protector. Some quantity of ploups, Carly A. Addy K. Laurie P. Seth AJ, Spam Gaming the Not-So-Skilled Gamer, Grant L. Connor Savage, Christopher J. Pebblepot, Tite Grammys favorite grandson, who secretly makes Bath tub brisket.

Wow, Logan S. Leveyathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dexterous, Thrill of the Fright aka Ashley, Sullivan H. Trubhop, Dropper, Sidney T. Jack H. You Face Joraxus, Eradar, Allord of the Burning Legion, Garble the Moist, Juicy Kiwi, Champwild, Vailen, Sprite, Pepsi, Carlin, Sea, Louis is your dad, Noah the Begle of all things, Estelle, L'Oio, L'Oeather, a Louis the Arger, conflicted DM, Justin, LB, Dandy, E&D, Bunnies, Bunny, Freya, Sends her regards, Marcos, P, Pup, Calish, Gabe the Dice Bunnies, Bunny Freya sends her regards. Marcos P. Pup Kalish gave the dice Smith,

learns the balance druid. Dakota J. P. Pagos, the self-proclaimed Faye Prince. Katerin the great one, a warlock patron, Tracy P. The Crick L. F. Librarian, Friar Frizet, Andy E. Lisa M. Holley, Hyena, Anthony A. Leah C. Abigail, maybe Kristen with a K. Sloth King, 777, Cal, just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison, and Russell H. A monk named Dilgo, yes, the whole thing, yes, every time.

Nio's the novice monster hunter, Lorelei Frost, Morgan M. Sticker, Zachary A. Stephen E. Mr. Adams, Meg, the male carrier of Bohumia, James F. Jimmy A. Cap and Capy, number one, Jensland Delphan, the dragon ambassador, Wayfarer, Andrew B. Dalton B. Copefresh, Barpo, the good barrel, Bard Barbarian, and Brewer Emeritus of Water, Deep. Jet Black is back. Teri rhymes with Jabari. Juck fuck me, Tari rhymes with Jabari, just fuck me. Tari rhymes with Jabari, got it that time. I will get it eventually. Welshlander, Garrett G, one big curd, Eric M. J.D. Tommy Kate, Nola, John P. Mr. Sillyhead,

Otho Dezelia, and René S. Thank you all. Zellia and Renee S. Thank you all.