Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 34: Mothership Bronze (Legends of Irondeep)

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

Duck Team races to Irondeep with Mothership in pursuit! Sol unleashes a full moon, Callie targets heavy machinery, and Hardwon doesn't recognize home. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Secret Basement" by Emily Axford."Lilith Latrix" by Emily Axford."Alexandrite" by Emily Axford."Goblin Dirigible" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."Zelbuldar" by Emily Axford."The Night Cap" by Emily Axford."Microbrews Crews" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Reynard" by Emily Axford."All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford."Cable Car Ride" by Emily Axford."The Murderer's Mask" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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brush processing. Code www-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumya, everybody. Oh, yeah. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure-foot.

Perfect. Emily Axford. Having a ball-making Bronros bike smoke, a life-a-fac-check-all. Pretty perfect. Pretty good bike. And then of course, Caldwell Tanner. Chilly Eater riding a speeder who just got clear of a bronze beer

Okay, yeah, uh-huh chili eater and speeder. I love going last y'all It's it rules No pressure at all. No pressure I think you do. Who did it? Thanks, dude. You did it. You definitely definitely said it.

He didn't do it. He didn't do it. What? He didn't do it. He didn't do it. Guys, I hear you whispering and I can hear you on the floor in the eyes. No.

He did it. He did it. He did it. He did do it. He did do it. He did it. He did it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Did. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. Let's go ahead. Look at how fun was my friend! Let's do a little recap. So last time, you all finished climbing a mountain after watching several fire giants pass through a secret passage

with the broken parts of automatons. As you made it pass the halfway point across the Iron Deep Mountains, you spotted a strange sight, a crew of mirators, with different sigils frozen in place, all with clockwork leeches in their necks, but apparently not receiving signals. You continued along and found the source of their trouble, a large mothership crawler that was likely jamming them. You attacked the guards inside and managed to commandeer it, learning from its crew that Mother Ship was planning on kidnapping the mad scientist creator of the

leeches and automatons in hopes that he'd work for them. A Mother Ship agent named Bronra Bronzebeard, remember from the rhyme, had taken a crew out to a more remote area of the canyon to find him. After sending the surviving Mother Ship crew running, you stole some attached hover bikes and waited to sabotage Bronras' plan. As she approached with the creator and Toe, hard one used his lightning javelin to kill the match.

You have baby, you have. You have baby, you have. Woohoo, you wanted to know. Yes. You then fled on your bikes while Bronra and crew gave chase. After Saul's bike took some damage, Calli was able to reduce the size of Bronra's, remember from the run, sending her spinning out

and crashing. You have lost the mothership employees for the time being as you speed into the mountains. Hard one in Calli are on one bike and Saul is on another and that's where we are now. Yeah. Classic tiny bike prank, Cally. Run, Ra, are you riding a clown's bike?

It's hilarious. You're too far away, I can't totally hear you. Should we turn around? You say you can't ask clown's bike. Is that what you look like? You're riding a clown's bike. Hold on, Cally, I'm going gonna put it in reverse once I can okay Let's get a little circle a short live small cars put a lot of them pack in

So yeah, but like sometimes they write little tricycles are you okay? Let me try it again. I'll try to get are you excited for the Barbie movie because that's clearly a Barbie-sized bike Oh, that's good. Okay. Who that is all right? She kind of spins out as her bike shrinks. You guys leave her in the dust as you ride a walk. She can't see our faces, but can we moon her as we go away? Yeah, she might remember your asses though. So just keep in mind, because you guys moon people a lot.

Yeah. I have a very distinctive ass. So do I, but I want her to see the perfect frog ass. So shiny and blue, So obvious who it is. The stripes on my ass spell my name. It's a miracle. The hole is the, oh, okay. Okay, great.

We know, we know, thank you, Lennon. Thank you so much. Yeah, I spread the cheeks really. That's when we really get the effect, yeah. You did do it, You didn't do it. You're not going to do it. Don't listen, Coldwell, you nailed it. Yeah, with that, you guys escape.

Saul, your bike is smoking a bit. You have taken some damage on it. Your bikes have 70 HP. None of you have hit the mishap threshold in one hit yet. So you don't have to worry about the way it's running or anything But potential problem for the future. So all you've taken about 35 damage Uh-huh, so you're down to about 35 inch on your bike. What does the bike need to get fixed? Probably just a mechanic. Like can I like look at it and see if there's like oh

Are you guys gonna stop right now? No, I'm not going to stop I just could like if it was like an easy thing, like just needs to be, I'm not needs to be tweaked. I could get an unseen sense. It was shot by like an electro charge. I just see my toolkit in an afternoon. You can get this by coming.

Honestly, if hard one had some equipment, I might be able to work on it a little bit. Wow. This is less complicated than the robot he said he could build. I believe it or not. I'm still waiting for Robo Kaka. Yeah, if an obvious malfunction comes up, there are things that can be done to fix it. But for now, you guys are just riding along.

So you guys are rocketing through the Iron Deep Valley on these hover bikes, even going through mountains and stuff. So you guys could feasibly reach Iron Deep by tonight. That's a great ride. Let's do it. Yeah. A drive through and then go straight on. Yeah.

All right. I think I know a spot. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take you guys to my favorite, my favorite outburst. Great, I'm like a chakras or what? It's kind of like, it's like a sonic.

Are you a sonic? Yeah, great. Saul lets his tongue hang behind him as we ride, so it's just flapping in the wind. Yeah, Calli and Hardwin are on one bike, Saul's on the other one, as you guys rip through the canyons here, yeah, kicking up dirt, kicking up gravel, climbing up mountains, Hard one or one bike, Saul's on the other one, as you guys rip through the canyons here. Yeah, kicking up dirt, kicking up gravel,

climbing up mountains and swinging down into valleys. After a few hours of riding, everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. Ooh, I crit. You crit. Oh, yes. Just don't not crit. Perfect. I did get a 22. Okay great after a few hours of riding you guys see a

Strange piece of tech poking out from the rocks nearby Amongst this landscape of dust and sand and gravel you see a small tower Sticking out from outside a cave. Oh my God. This is where the sonic was. What? It's Twitter. It's been paved over.

The Sonic's gone. They paved paradise. It's a pandemic spread now. It's not a pandemic spread. I was never a Sonic. It's not real. It is gray colored. It looks like this tower was maybe built to be camouflaged,

but it is undoubtedly a piece of magic tech. It's like a 15 foot tall tower, basically just a frame, and at the top is a spinning, white gray orb that is floating there, and at the bottom of the tower is the entrance to a cave, and a hard one I will say with, and not 20, you clock that there's another bunch of dead mercenaries around here

and then that cave is presumably empty. You don't see anybody up in there but you do see that this looks to have been at one point some kind of mercenary layer. Okay. For the wall loads. Is that like a scrying post up there? Your guess is as good as mine.

I mean, we were planning on doing a drive-through. She was just drive through this. Yeah, I mean, they might have some grub. Yeah. I'm thinking, yeah. Sure, and I've been thinking about like the chili cheese tots now and I just can't get them out of my head.

I think they got some beans in there. They might have some beans in there. They definitely might have beans. Can we put the beans on top? Yeah, I'll say with a nat 20, you do see that. One of them has cracked a can of beans, but it has spilled out onto the gravel and gone bad. Gellie put this thing in park.

I assume you're driving. I'm working a transmission. It's shot to shit the way I do it. Sweet. So are you guys stopping your bikes and investigating this? Yeah. Great. Okay.

You guys stop your bikes. You leave them outside. You have to climb up a little bit to get into this cave mouth. It's kind of on the side of a cliff. Wait, we should leave someone with the bikes. Yeah, or chain them up or something. Falster? Wow!

Help! I forgot about you. Well, can you watch a little scream if someone's stealing the bite? Wow! All right, well you're screaming all the time. How will I know if someone's taking the bite? Wow!

All right, I think you'll scream really a lot of someone's taking the bite. Wow! I hate it. I fully trust this. You see, Fulster starts melting out knots on this. This is great. Everything's normal. Yeah. You guys kind of pull your bikes over to the side and you leave

falster sitting there. And real falster comes with you guys as you guys go up into this cave that looks to have been this layer and find dead mercenaries with once again these inert deactivated leeches. Just floppy little leeches lying next to their bodies inert, and inside the cave itself, as you guys walk up, everybody go ahead and give me investigation checks. Flutton!

Okay, uh, 16. Eight. Great. A hard one weirdly kind of takes the lead on this one. I'm sniffing out the beads. Yeah. I'm picking bugs out of buster. In the pursuit of beans,

hard one finds actually a lot. Wow, they have pinto. I love it. You're trying to smell presumably canned beans. Mm. Yeah, smells like pinto, garbanzo, some old black. Mostly just like sodium.

Yeah, if you can smell them, it's bad. So yeah, you guys look inside and you find the ramp shackle hideout of an outlaw mercenary company. You see, there are painted symbols of an axe going into a skull all along the walls. We saw this before. You did see it. In fact, you guys left that scrollrawled all along the inside of the

um... This is who we fucking framed. This is who you framed. You weren't a frog with a mask, a man with a mask, and a lagerant with a mask, did cast reduce on her bike and then yell at her and moon her. So whether or not she believed she saw your name. She saw your name.

Mercenaries, yeah. She saw your name. Ienaries, yeah, she's all your name. That could have been anyone's ass. Yeah, so you don't know how likely it is that they're gonna fall for that, but yes, this is, this is one of the outlaw gangs that was apparently taken out by the mad scientist by the creator. Ah, but you guys find the main room here is like the circular room that connects to a few other smaller rooms. And in this main room, you see a big circular machine. It is attached to a bunch of screens and projection pools.

And a lot of them, it seems like the creator probably got to these guys with the leeches a bit ago, like probably a couple weeks ago. You see that a lot of the screens are cracked or broken. Some of the stuff looks like it's been picked over, maybe by other mercenaries, maybe noles came through. You see that the main screen seems to still be working, even though it's got like a big gash in it.

And you see a radar system. You see it is fuzzy and glitching in and out. You can hear a little bit of a ping, ping, ping. Oh wow. And you can make out your little hover bikes, right nearby, right outside. Are there any, is there anybody tracking us? You don't see anything nearby. Okay, I mean, should we bring them inside?

I bring them inside. Yeah, I'll put you in. Yeah. Great. Yeah, you guys Go back outside pick up Ballster and bring the bikes inside of the mountain good job buddy Good job and Connected to this main room you guys see that there are a few others that do have food and weapon stores I'll see that you find I found the bean horde These guys were as into beans as hard

He's got these guys who are as into beans as hard one. There's just a bear. I can't see beans. There's just a bear. Holy mother of beans. Just the absolute fucking mother of load. It's God's pantry. It looks like other people came through and picked clean everything except for the beans.

Those fun. Well, hard one doesn't clock that. Hard one just thinks they, you guys are getting first pick. But yeah, you see that there are some bed rolls and chairs and tables with like kind of like meager living spaces. But you find one room that has papers and letters and stuff up on a board in like a sloppy little basically like war room. Like there's a crudely made table with carvings

and maps drawn into it. Looks like this is kind of where they did business or made their plans. And amongst the run of the mill wanted posters and petty kind of job offers, you find a more official looking letter and hard one with your perception check. This one sticks out to you.

It is written in like an elegant script. I polished off a can of maybe beans. Yeah, they felt really loudly and showing to Cali and Saul All right, well hard run you found it you want to read it? I would love to Hard one looks weirdly proud of himself. That's Okay, just go ahead and read it. I know why you're making a big deal out of it hard one steps up on a soap box To the honorable Lord Gash of the bone splitters how I hear, making a big deal out of it. Hard one steps up on a soapbox. There we go. To the honorable Lord Gash of the Bone Splitters,

I write to you on behalf of a dear friend in need, a political prisoner being held by the tyrant Jaina Bronzebeard in the dungeons below her castle. We need help with the extraction and can provide untraceable magic tech weapons and potions to mask your appearance. We can offer you 30,000 in gold for the successful extraction, and you are welcome to any spoils you find during the raid. Attached, you'll find a one-way speaking stone good for one use.

If you're ready and willing to take on this mission, simply tell us what that you accept, and we will be in touch. Best wishes. Is there a name? A name? A famous speaking sound. There is a deactivated speaking sound that does look like it was used.

Ah, it was you. They accepted the mission. Do we see any, because they talked about stuff to mask them and whatnot. To go inside. Guys, go ahead and do Insight checks. Okay. You guys don't need to do Insight checks.

You guys found this. You guys get a flashback to the ship that you stole in Esri, the airship, and all of the hidden weapons and potions that you found that were going to the bronze beards of Iron Deep. What? This is what we found. I'm talking about when we degraded that ship. Yeah.

That crashed? No, when you stole the airship for Mob Goblin and found hidden compartments with all the weapons. Oh, wow. Okay, so we found this ship, like that they're referring to on a ship one time. So this has to be from fucking mothership. Mother ship is working with these like local warlords.

Wow. So mothership against Hanz Jaina. Yeah. So, mothership against Havana. I'm sorry, Jaina. So, it holds up his little bracer. This is a treat from that very warship. And they say I write to you on behalf of a dear friend and need a political prisoner. So, mothership working with the other bronze bearded rice.

Do you know who the prisoner was? You don't know. Hmm. No. I think is there anything to be salvaged from this? I mean, we have to deactivate it. Speaking of stone is obviously deactivated. Right. We can bring it to Jaina. Yeah. She can shed some light on it. I'm sure she knows her her enemies well. Can I just do like an insight on this whole situation? Is it like they were used, got the political prisoner out, and then the leeches were like, we're gonna wipe them out now. Yeah, go ahead and give me, uh, insight checks.

Ten. Twenty-three for all. Okay, I gotta find out. Twenty-two, actually. Yeah. As you guys think about this, these guys don't look like they just scored a big job. The fact that they were gotten by these leeches pretty recently, you imagine they never got to go through with this. And you guys stole that ship. So this person's

plan, whoever sent this note, it never went through because you guys hijacked that airship and stopped those items from getting too iron deep. And you know that those items were going to Gromdahl, Bronzebeard. That's right. And Gromdahl is also the guy that you were supposed to do a deal with, Cali, that you brought the serpent egg to,

but then ended up running away because he looked like he was bad news. Wow. Okay. So, I mean, obviously we have like a really clear objective to try and get colder from this helm, but this Gromdahl guy seems like big trouble. Yeah. We should definitely pocket this letter and guy seems like big trouble. Yeah. We should definitely pocket this letter and take it to your friend.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, maybe, maybe Jaina can help us with your friend, called her. Yeah, that sounds good. All right, should we get back on the bikes? Is there anything else we see in here that could be useful or other than the beans, obviously? You guys look around and again,

most of the stuff has been picked clean. I'll say you can roll a D4 to find grenades on the potions. Oh, he can potions. What about like a cast iron pan? Absolutely not. I'm looking for healing potions. I got a one.

Cool. Two healing potions. Two greater healing potions and a grenade. I'm looking for kidney beans. That's a four. Four, four times five, 20 cans of kidney beans. Amazing. This is at nine greater healing and eight grenades.

Sweet. And now 20 cans of kidney beans. All righty down. Thank you. Have they gone bad to the point of being explosive? No, no, no. They're just, they're feeling pretty explosive in my stomach.

Actually, big to differ. Actual important question, is the can of beans big enough to hide a grenade inside? Yeah. Okay, all right. Just filing that away for later. Yeah. This is picture of the bullet pin, man.

And pulling a pin out of wet beans. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not gonna wait for later. Yeah. This is picture of the bullet pin man. And pulling a pin out of wet beans. I'm imagining the situation where you roll off or someone is opening his normal. Within three seconds of pulling the pin and getting away. I don't know, a pretty fast. You're with the one guy it would work on. Yeah. Do you want this can of beans?

I just put my hands in there. This is how salt dies. I think we should get it out. Hey man, do you want some beans? Yes. As you guys are looking through and finding potions and kind of gathering the kind of meager leftovers of what's left here in this layer,

you begin hearing beeping again coming from the radar. Okay, beep, beep. He's time to hold us. Beep. You guys rush back out into the main room. You've got your bikes right near the entrance here and you see that there is a huge dot on the radar. It is some kind of flying thing

and it is heading right for you guys. But if it's going, I mean, I wanted to leave immediately anyway, so I'm called a girl. Yeah, oh man, but now I'm wondering if this thing is just passing over us and we're gonna expose they probably have radar to they've been tracking these bikes We should run everybody go to roll initiative. Okay 16 12 shout-out to the two crew becomes a 12 as well. Okay, I Shout out to the two crew, it becomes a 12 as well. Okay, at an initiative 16, hard one you are first.

You've got these bikes inside the layer with you. You've got this on the radar, you see a dot coming closer to you. I'm gonna hop on the bike, rev the engine and hold my action for Callie to jump. Great, great. You rev your engine, get ready on the bike. I also fart really loudly when I rev the engine,

but no one notices. Because the engine's really housey. I don't even want a roll to try to get it. Super, super foul. I see. Just being near the beans made you fart. Hard one. After your turn, you are at the mouth of this cave now,

revving the engine to this land speeder. You see now 200 feet away, this thing has just taken another dash gone 50 feet, breaking through the fog and clouds as you can see outside now. You see a giant mothership zeppelin sort of halfway between a traditional zeppelin and an airship. There is an oblong balloon under a metal frame that looks to radiate a blue energy field that protects it. There are windows and cannon slots that suggest there are people below deck but there is also an exposed balcony and deck on which you can see like tiny crew members from here rushing around. It is not terribly fast but it is quite maneuverable.

You see below the balloon, there are a series of thrusters that spin and then fire off propelling the Zeppelin in the correct direction And it appears to have some type of large laser cannon which swings around Independently of the thrusters looking right at your guy's there and starting to charge up But they have not seen you yet. Okay, after this Eppelin, that is Saul's turn. There's no hidden tunnels or escape routes in here. You can try to find one. I guess I'll roll to see.

Okay, well that's your turn. If you would like to run deeper into the case. No, no, no, no, I'm not gonna do that. I think I'm really worried that they're gonna blast a laser and try and cave us in. I think we should just bolt. Okay. All right.

I'm right behind you, frog. Cool. Yeah. Saul's going to rev his engine and float on. Okay, so Saul jumps on the hover bike and shoots out of the cave into the canyon. You are dealing with difficult terrain, but you guys have 120 speed.

So you guys are going 60 feet on the bike. Okay. So you begin shooting off kind of trying to get to iron deep while getting away from this guy. You do see that the laser cannon begins to clock you and begins to follow you, Saul, as you exit, but you are 260 feet away from this thing at the moment. Okay.

After Saul's turn, that's Callie's turn. The laser cannon is using some kind of sonar thing. Is it tracking us based off of our movement or talent? You guys don't know for sure. They found you. They know where you are somehow. Just based on the fact that these little mercenary guys had like a tower that could tell where things are coming from, you can assume this giant flying piece of mothership machine really can find you guys. How tall is the tower? The tower is 15 feet tall. So I think I look at the bike and I'm like it'd be really great to like rip out any kind of radar thing on this but I feel like I'm not gonna to be able to figure that out, because I'm not intelligence-based.

I can poke around the thing later. I think I'm going to look at hard one and be like, I'm going to run up and go really high in the sky to get closer to that thing, and then I'm going to land really hard. Can you catch me? Hard one nods like he's seen this type of fuckery before. So I basically want to like use half of my movements to run all the way up to the top of the tower. OK, the tower is just a frame, so it is.

Go ahead and do an athletics check, not going to be a high DC, but it's only 15 feet high. 17. 17. You sprint up really quick, climb up this radar tower. And then I want to jump. Okay. Uh, however much further I can go and then also face that 30 feet, like to get closer

and range and then cast. Okay, it's still a pie. I'll say it's about 100 feet high and then 100 feet like in the distance away from you guys. But you're able to do enough of an angle to get up, jumping from this tower and going an additional 30 feet into the air that you are able to get within 60 feet. And then once I'm in this guy about to fall, I want to cast shatter on that cannon to try and gnarle up its passage.

Sweet. It will go ahead and do what kind of saving throw is it? It is a constitution save and it does it with disadvantage if it's a creature made of inorganic material such as stone, crystal or metal. Okay. Not a creature, but we will say for these purposes it rolls with disadvantage because it's probably not going to have time to move. That is a shout out to the two crew.

The shatter is going to work. Yes! Okay. 23 damage. You shatter, you see a bunch of glass breaks, and you hear people yelling in the distance, and that is going to beat its mishap threshold, so go ahead and roll me a D20.

Yeah, spicy. 12. Blinding smoke. The helm station fills with smoke and is heavily obscured until the mishap ends. Ah! Any creature in the helm station is blinded by the smoke. So I will say, this is a big enough vehicle.

This is not the pilot, but this is the person that is trying to shoot the cannon. To use the smoke. Fuck, go up inside that weapon. And the cannon is still charging, it still looks like it's gonna fucking blast. But you can feel pretty confidently that they're not gonna be shooting with 100% accuracy.

Literally smoke them. Sweet. And now you fall, hard one, go ahead and give me an athletics check to try to catch her on the speeder bike below her. Yeah, you ride forward and try to catch her as you keep riding, give me an athletics check. I do a donut, try to drift right underneath, Natalie. I'll use a luck point.

You see for a second hard one looks like he's going in the wrong direction as he judges it wildly wrong. But I drifted into another donut and that's a 25. Sweet, yeah. You see he rides off like he's going in the wrong direction, but then just get some height going up like a skateboard or on a half pipe.

Turns around, rides back down, gets under you, Cali. You're going to have resistance to this damage. Instead of taking, normally you take like 66, you're going to take some of the nice. Can I hit myself with a feather fall in the way down? Can I hit yourself with a feather fall? So you're all good. Yay. I don't worry about it.

So you land on the back of the bike, and hard one, you tear off, and you guys are able to get 60 feet away. I feel a little bit of the radio to play highway to the danger zone. I way to the danger zone. I'm turning, I'm turning. I almost missed you, but I needed to find the song.

Saltfish is in the glove compartment for aviator sunglasses and finds three pairs. Oh, wow. Don't be greasy. He tosses them back. Imagine if I freaked out, and you don't DM yourself, dude. Sorry, man.

I just grabbed you. So you guys take off, you guys are 260 feet away right now. And you guys see from out of the Zeppelin, there is suddenly a huge projection of a metal, dwarven woman, shiny and silver colored. She has no eyes or mouth, but looks more like a living statue, and you hear her projecting through the canyons.

Hello, this is Titania from Mother Ship Bronze, where Bronze is gold. Surrender! Surrender immediately, and we will execute you with quick clean kills. Ah, cabelling. Oh, yeah. I can't believe I've ever bought into that PR nonsense. That is actually a hard one.

You had held your turn. That is back up to your turn. Nice. Oh, sweet. I guess I moaned somebody for the second time today. Great. I'll moan the visage and keep on driving. Hard one keeps all in S.

That is the Zeppelin's turn. The Zeppelin is going to fire the laser cannon with disadvantage. It does have a lot of range on this bad boy, but you see yeah smoke coming out from it. And you just hear voice is going, little to the left, go to the left, they're going away. I start yelling to the right, to the right. You see purple energy gathering around this plasma cannon that burst out and fires into the canyon at hard one and Cali.

Your guy's bikes AC is 20. The thing gets a plus six hit. So it fires. You can guarantee your bikes in fucking trouble if it gets shot. Who do you have? Okay, that is a three. So they only get a nine.

Okay. It just fucking blows up the layer. You see it just completely makes the front of the layer cave in. You see the radar tower crashes down and a bunch of rocks fall down as you guys fly off into the mountains. Oh, flash-fried beans.

We were right in the danger zone. And you guys begin to hear a bunch of charged rifles shooting off as a bunch of mothership riflemen start shooting over the side of the Zeppelin and they shoot with disadvantage. Good job on the smoke. Yeah. One of them would hit you, you actually do have a reaction where you can juke and add 4 AC. But that's only one time you can use it per round.

Yeah, I think I'm juke. Buckle up, Kelly, we're juke. You juke and the lights. I was waiting for you to say that. You spin your tires out as you wheel around kicking up, smoke, and dirt as a laser hits the exact moment that you get out of the way. One more rifleman is gonna go. We chew.

We chew. We chew. We chew. We chew. Sweet. After the Zeppelin's turn, Saul, that is your turn. Okay. Can I just do a quick scan to see if I see like any area with cover above us?

Like trees or like a tunnel we could go into and you sort of like mountain tunnel. Yeah, go ahead and give me a survival check. All right, great. That's a four plus eight, it's going to be 12. Okay, I'll say with a quick look, you kind of have to decide. You can basically decide, do I want to hide

or do I want to keep riding? You don't really have an option to just like a clean tunnel that you can ride into that gives you a path to iron deep. All right, hide or ride. Hide or ride. Hide or ride. Hide or ride. No one dies for free. I'm just going to keep riding I think. Great.

I don't know if I can move. Saul rides along and gets another 60 feet. Callie, that is your turn. Can I use an action to just do an investigation check to try and find what is causing the radar? And then can I ask my bonus action, shield of faith, Saul's bike. Oh, cool. Yeah, certainly.

Yeah, I'll allow that. Saul, I'm here to protect your bike. Whoa. The most precious cargo of all protect your bike. Whoa! The most precious cargo of all is the bike. It's self. Yeah, you add to AC to Sal's bike, you see that it shines with an extra layer of barrier around it. Wow, I'm at Sal himself. Stop, I uh, looks very vulnerable as the plasma cannon loads up and ends up.

Yeah, I see the base exploding as you do this. I'm just assuming you have more hit points than the bike does. And I will say, Kali, even without an investigation check, you look at these bikes. They basically look like motorcycles, right? But instead of wheels, they have these like shining lights and like arcane batteries that let them levitate.

You get a feeling that what is going on is essentially a mass detect magic for magitech. In order to not be tracked, you'd essentially have to stop using the magic of this bike, which would make it inert. Which would make it like we'd have to pedal it. Yeah, right. And then I think before the end of my turn,

I'm also going to take out my shield. Okay, so yeah, you put away your side arm, the dagger that Culldor gave to you. You feel the cold knife going to your sheath, and you pull out your shield to try to defend the bike. And all costs. And all costs. Defend the beads.

They're after our beads. They're just flying out of the back of the bike. We have to go back, G bike. We have to go back, Callie. We have to go back. Hardo and I just now watching the round. No, be nice to you. I used my reaction to Cass deflect bean. I'm gonna catch him.

That was a coffee bean. That's the best one that I've ever had. Okay, after Callie's turn, hard one that's back up to your turn. I wouldn't know the range of this cannon, would I? You wouldn't know it off the top of your head, no. Okay, I don't know how much longer we can keep on doing this, guys. Hey, wait, where did you find Highway to the Danger Zone?

I can't find that on my station. Are you on AM for some reason? Okay. You've got Bim, got not Joe. I don't know, wait a long time ago, wait, age of coming from, where'd you go? First year of Sal's favorite song. This is fine.

What station is that? It's over, it's somehow hacked, where you go? First year of Saul's favorite song. This is fine. What station is that? It's over, it's somehow hacked your radio and it's playing over and it's top of good dance. It can enter to your Bluetooth. I'm gonna dance. I've always loved to River Dance. I will say you can do what Saul did and do like a survival check to try to find an area

of the mountains where you guys have some cover and your bikes get more AC. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. Great, I'm gonna look for your little cover. Start of your turn, go ahead and look for your little cover. That's a not one. Okay, yeah, you gotta ride or hide. Ride or hide, maybe.

Ride or hide or maybe die. I'm gonna keep on riding. Okay, after hard one's turned, that is the Zeppelin's turn. Zeppelin is slower than you guys. So moves 50 feet, so you're still 270 feet away. They are going to, first things, first, one of the dudes in there, one of the crewmates is going to try to fix the smoke around the cannon.

And another one of the crew is going to help them. I'm gonna roll this in front of the table. They have a plus one to dex. If they hit a 15, they fix the smoke in there. Okay. Okay Three and a two baby. That is a three and a two You it somehow from that far away you hear loud coughing that through the canyon. I believe in God now The integrity of the balloon itself seems to still be holding up, but this canon, this person in this like hatch is not able to get a good shot off. They're gonna shoot with disadvantage, they still have a chance to hit.

Okay, that's another three on the lower end, they shoot with disadvantage. Bam, miss! Sorry, in a fluke, I didn't have to do. You love threes, huh? And Saul, you was as our little bit behind these guys because you have not acted in the initiative yet. So Saul's bike is a little bit behind, hard one, and Callies, so you hear once again the laser cannons from these riflemen start shooting off from the Zeppelin,

they are going to fire at you with disadvantage. Okay. First guy misses, second guy misses, third guy misses, and fourth guy misses, disadvantage is so bad, disadvantage is so hard. Yeah, lasers shooting off in all directions, but again, the big thing to worry about is this big laser cannon that could just probably blow up a bike if it hits.

Right. After that, that is Sal's turn. Sal stands up on his bike and starts square dancing to Cotton Eye Joe to avoid all of the laser shots. Is that you surrendering? We will do a quick clean kill. Take his head off, boys. I would never surrender.

Cotton Eye Joe was giving me strength. So I think this time, I still want to keep searching. I'm trying to find just like some sort of cover for us. I want to try and tap into like the network to see if I can like get like a seismic layout of the mountains around us. If possible, rad. I will allow you then to do whatever kind of check

you would like between like survival religion religion, or even like a wisdom save or something like that. I think survival is still going to be my best, so let's do that again. You guys from the outside see Saul kind of go translucent again and begin glowing in kind of these stocks inside his bones, began going to the edges of his fingertips and kind of into his brain as Saul, you try to communicate with the very sparse life around here and see if anything has any clue on where you could go

to get safe. All right, he's becoming cotton, Joe. My eyes may be covered with cotton, but they are open. Where did you come from? Where did you go? That's a 16? Yes, all. You get this flash in your brain,

and it's not like you actually see anything or any messages like communicated to you, but you feel like you know exactly where to look and you just get this feeling that if you go a little bit in this direction, you kind of turn yourself to the left a little bit, you find some quarter cover where you guys can get plus two to A.C. Where basically if you ride at this particular angle, the way the laser gun would have to fire down would be harder for it to hit you.

Basically putting some mountain between you guys in the zeppelin. All right. Okay. I use my tongue to signal that we should veer that way. I basically like make it look into a big pointer finger. Great. So solving is to make a hard left. You guys are still kind of heading in the general iron deep

direction, but trying to lose this zeppelin after Saul's turn. That is Cali's turn. So if we're going to be taking like a left, right? Yeah. Can I hold my turn to do prestedigitation to make a shower of sparks, so they think that we've skidded out? Ooh, oh, damn.

So like right before hard one turns. Okay, great. So you found an area where you're kind of obscured, where you guys, there's basically a lip over you, so they need to be more directly over you to shoot at you easily. You're going to make some sparks and make it like you've crashed there or like kick up some dirt So you can't tell which way you guys turned go ahead and give me a deception check dirt kicks up behind you as

Cali casts this press a digitation And there is smoke and we will see if they're still able to find you Okay, 15 okay Okay, 15. We will see on their turn, I will let them do a perception check to see if they have a clear shot or not. So yeah, Cali magically conjures up a bunch of smoke and everything to make it not obvious which way you guys are going.

Awesome. After Cali's turn, that is back up to Hard One's turn. I will also bonus action, body conservation, face inspiration. Hell yeah. Okay, it's really helps sell Hard One's turn. I will also bonus action, BODY CONSPIRATION, VAE INSPIRATION. Hell yeah. Okay, it's really helped sell Callie's move. I'm gonna shed a tear and throw a single can of lime opines over the side of the bike. Is there a grenade in that lime opine can?

Shit. It blows up in your hand if you can, it's getting everywhere. All right, I'll make the same perception check that's all that just see if I can find any cover. Anything better? Yeah, go ahead and do a perception or survival. It's just a four. Great, yeah.

I'll say you guys found just about the best place you're going to find around here, which again is like this kind of half tunnel where you've got a little bit of lip over your head so that they have to basically blast through that in order to hit you. You're going to get an extra plus two to AC. All right. But you guys ride along, you get another 60 feet. Zeppelin started their turn. They get 50 feet in your general direction.

But let's see if they find you. The captain who, as view, is not obscured is going to keep trying to go after you guys. They get a plus seven to perception. Callie got a 15 on her deception check. So we'll go ahead and roll and see if they have eyes on you this time. That is a natural 17. They keep chugging along.

It seems like they were not fooled by the trick. You see the laser cannon once again begins charging and blasts above you guys into this like quarter cover. You guys have plus two to AC, but let's see if they hit you with disadvantage. Okay. That is a natural 10. Yeah, you just see me wax and boulders explode

as they still have a giant plasma cannon. I was ready to do, we're ready to do. Is that what that J button is for? Yes, that's the J. As you guys ride through, I'm gonna lighten and fast roll for these riflemen. They basically have no chance of hitting Saul's bike.

At this point, there is one that would hit. Are they going after the bike? They're going after Saul's bike. So it has an extra two from the shield of faith. So she misses, okay. Yeah, you see what hit Saul's bike? You see this arcane flash of snowy magic like ice Shows up and shatters as the bullet hits it and and stops it. Can we make it not cool? You want to make it not cool?

What's your picture? We say that the shield of faith makes it look like I've got like a bushes beans decal Yeah, definitely I don't really think that's how my magic looks, but okay. I do it for you. I customize it for you. I saw that guy's butt hole earlier. Hey, Kelly, did you see the frog's butt hole before? I did. I mean, you have to. It's if you able to get the full effect of the name. Otherwise, it's just SL. Interesting. Great. Saul, that is your turn. OK, at the start of your turn, I'll

say you could do another survival check. If you want to find an area that's just obscured. You know what, that's been working. I'm going to tap further into the Joe Force and try and find some more safe passage. Ooh, outside 19. 19. OK, as you guys continue to go in this direction,

you then take a hard right as the lip over you guys begins to extend out to give you half cover. So you're now going to get plus four to your AC. Amazing. Inspired by what Callie did, I do wonder, would it be possible to like punch off some shrapnel from the bike and like throw a grenade out to make it look like we crashed.

Mm. Interesting. Yeah. Go ahead and give me a deception check. I'll say, yeah, you're able to use your movement. So you keep riding along, staying ahead of the Zeppelin moving faster. You guys now have half cover as you ride through this

like half tunnel and you throw a bomb. Give me a deception check. Just don't use one of the beam grenades. He's gonna what? No, no, no, I'm making sure he does it because that's perfect for social encounters. Don't waste a can of beans. I'll make you dad waste a can of beans. So it looks in his hand and sees that it's a can of beans and puts it back, pulls out a regular grenade.

Deception is bad for me. Actually, it's not too bad. That's just a 12 though. Okay. You don't know whether works or not. You see the Zeppelin is still going in your general direction, but Salthor is a grenade back.

And you see that there is an explosion, but you see the Zeppelin overhead does still seem to be coming in your garage direction. Okay, so many explosives. This is like terraforming. I think I'm just gonna keep doing the same thing. Great. I'll just keep trying to do the press to just hate you.

Great, yeah. You guys are riding through going in different directions. These canyons are just like winding in all different spots. These guys have a, you know, God's eye view, so they're able to find you guys easily, but you could potentially shake them at least the gunners. Yeah, okay, I'm trying to do it. Great, give me a deception check.

Dirty 20. Dirty 20, okay. Yes, I love to shake a gunner. After Callie, back to Hard One's turn. Okay, how far could I Hucka Grenade? They're about 280 feet away from you right now. So I have to think not that far. But my hard one definitely has like an NFL quarterback caliber. Oh yeah.

I have a cannon. Yeah, you have a cannon. So no. So no. So within the 100 foot range, maybe like pretty normal. So I think yeah, you can. Yeah, I'm going to try to do the deception thing. Great.

Okay. Because I feel like our cover is pretty good at this point. You can give Callie a help action essentially. Okay. Okay. Because I feel like our cover is pretty good at this point. Yeah. You can give Callie a help action essentially. Oh, okay. Or I'll say, you know what, you guys are, what you guys are trying to do kind of to really get away from getting hit by this thing is to get full cover.

If you can find a path where you're still sort of on the way to Iron Deep, but this thing can't shoot you, that's when you're gold, the DC to do that is a 20. It's to get pulled over. So you might as well try to see two of the bots. So also you can either go with Callie and give her a help action, she could roll a new deception check,

see if she beats her old one, or you can keep looking for a path to try to get better cover. Yeah, I feel like hard one thinks he knows the way home. Okay. And he's gonna look for the covered path. Great. He's gonna use the luck point.

Okay. Shout out to the two crew by the way. Wow. And that's only a five. Okay. Okay, hard one you do not manage to find a better path, but for now you guys keep your half cover, but it probably will end soon.

Now, the Zeppelin, I'm going to go ahead and roll plus seven to perception, trying to beat Callie's DC-20 to make it look like you guys were going the wrong way. Nice. That is a natural 18, that's a 25, they still are able to find you guys. They are once again, two of them are going to try to fix

the smoke inside of the gunner nest. They fucking fail. And they successfully do it. That is an 18. You see the smoke begins clearing, and you see that the gun begins aiming at, once again, hard one and Callie trying to get them. Now rules flat, but you guys have half covers. You do have a lot of AC. Okay.

That is only a 14. Once again, oh, a bunch of the rocks around you. You see explosion of debris. That takes down like a small mountain near you. Oh dear. Yes. As you continue to ride along, riflemen can't even hit you, can't hit you with half cover at this point. So you just hear them peppering the hills nearby with lasers. Saw that as your turn.

I'm gonna shout the hard one. Do you have an idea how close we are? Any minute now. Yeah, you guys would, I would say you know that you're a few, you're a couple hours away, so pretty far. Yeah, you're about like 50 miles away, outside of Iron D. Okay, well, we're pretty good on cover thus far,

so I'm just gonna keep scanning. Great, yeah, if you can beat a 20, you guys can get full cover and be good for a bit. Oh, that's good. Good, that's a 5, so it's 13 total. Okay, got it. I'm gonna say that since both hard one and Saul did not do great on their survival checks, you guys see in order to keep kind of going towards Iron Deep, you guys lose a little bit

of cover and you see the lip above you starts to kind of go away and you guys go back down a quarter cover. Our lip after Saul's turn, that is Kali's turn. Okay, can I just use my action to give a hot one the help action on this to try to find like a state has to. To try to find a better passage, yes. So you'll have a bardic, you can roll with advantage. Yes, Kali, you begin this.

Yes, scanning the area to try to find a better spot as you guys continue riding along. Hard one, you see that cover is getting a little sparse. That is your turn. As you see, the laser cannon begins to charge again. It is just like wrecked a mountain next to you. Okay. Hard one belches again.

Some of the beam clarity hitting the stem. Post-skeening, like it's ruined everything. You really, with beans, you ruined everything with beans. Yeah, I am a bean man. Hard one is the new bean dad. Bean dad. Bean dad. Bean dad.

Oh, Jesus man. Finally an un-canceled bean dad. Okay, I'm just gonna get it for cover. All right, that is a 16 on the die. Great. I add nothing to it. I'm gonna use my bardic. Okay.

Thank you, Cali. That's five, 21. Woo! Yes, sick. You guys are able to ride low enough into the mountains that you see. There are all these very much so like Utah rock formations. These big rocks that have big spaces in between them.

Yeah, and it almost makes a canopy of rock above you. Without you guys actually going into like a tunnel, it's just very hard for them to see above you now. They can definitely still read you on their radar, but for now you find a little pocket of area to weave through that is going to be impossible for them to hit. Every once in a while, you hear just a concussive blast coming from above you, but they are not able to hit you for a while. Hell yeah.

So you guys are able to outrun the Zeppelin. It takes a long time because per round, you're only moving 10 feet faster than them, they're ignoring difficult terrain and you guys are kind of hiding low in the valley here where you can kind of get this rock cover as best as you can. But you find this kind of natural valley that you're able to ride through and you guys keep going for several hours. We do know that the Zeppelin and vehicles like it will be able to eventually track these bikes and hard one you begin to kind of get your bearings at what area you're at

and realize that you are now a few miles from Iron Deep. Pfft. I think we're close. So I'll pull the beans out of his nose? Wow. That changes everything. No, I know we're close. Is it time to say goodbye?

Say goodbye? Yeah, well, let's pull over. I mean, I don't know how to scrape. We're trying to be going into iron deep, but I wouldn't mind just sort of like revving up and driving through the town square on these bikes. Maybe you know like I'm doing a wealy I don't hate that. Saul counterpoint. You wanted to say good bike Kalei said it's pretty cool too. I'm wondering if we could do that, make a real big scene, but then let the bikes just ride off further

and explode somewhere so they think we all died. Yeah, I mean, really, we probably shouldn't ride. I think we have to be stealthy going into Iron Deepah sounds like there's a lot of enemies. Yeah, but we could stash them somewhere to use them as like, you know, for a parade afterwards, if we need to be celebrated. Like if we save the day.

Yeah, I'm just gonna, they can track us from these bikes. Yeah, I, I make an unseen serpent, just drive the bike away. That's my first cat. You can see kind of the outline of its scales. You see it really awkwardly, but the back of the snake into the driver seat, just use its mouth to start the engine and then just begin driving and instantly skids off

and crashes. Keep the engine running, we might need it for parade How about our own pauses pockets. I weep as if I thought me in the unseen sir But it would have more time together This is not good bike. This is not good bike. I can't get you for nothing Where foster comfort to Okay, all right. So, who do you know here? Like, it sounds like Jaina's in bad shit here.

Yeah. She's still in charge? She's still in charge, but her hold on her power seems tenuous of her own family wants her dead. So, I'd like to go directly to her if we can. Okay. But I do have lots of friends here. Just I cause you asked if you were like, who do you know here?

And I was like, yeah, I'm friends. Cause I have like one person that I could try to get in touch with, but I feel like you're so connected here that maybe we just go with you. Yeah, me and pretty, who's the guy you know? Cause maybe we know the same guy. Father Krugie. Father Krugie, yes. Yes. You got Krugie, let's go. Yes. We said it know the same guy father crew crewgie yes yes you got

crewgie yes are we said at the same time I was like can I call you a crewgie and he was like only my best friends get to call me do you see that so kind that is so okay so then I can yeah you lead the way well let's see I will go to his play we can go to Janeane even know he was from This wife daughter daughter. I know his wife is named daughter Yes I don't need to disguise you so that you're not just like mobbed by all the people you know that is I'll tell you what I'll I'll tie my hair in in in pigtails instead of the man-gun and people won't notice I will help all right Okay, great. Yeah, go ahead and do up some pigtails and yeah, I'll say that

Yeah, you guys have kind of sent the bike off with the unseen serpent. I'll say even falster will drive one off a cliff and then fly back sometime later. Not sure how he survived. But you guys find kind of an area that's hard one. You know that you would be able to kind of quickly blend in with a crowd. So you're not just coming in through like, where people might be waiting for you,

might be waiting for the people that attacked mothership soldiers in the mountains. So yeah, do I know, would I know somebody on like, you know, on Janus council or some back way to get to where she is? I would say you, you know where the castle is and you can try to speak to her there. I would say you know a few of her close attendants, but you've been, I mean, you've been gone for like,

you've been planes walking for like 200 years. You don't have that many friends, most of your friends are real old or real dead. Right, yeah. Even so, Jaina is very old for a dwarf, but did spend some time planes walking, not as much as you. So she is not aged as much as she could, but she is an older dwarf now for certain.

Okay, I walked down the street, like kind of waving, nodding at people as if I know them. Yeah. So you guys walk in through the mountains and as you break through the canyons, you finally see the great city of Irondeep. Amongst all the highlands, all these mountains, there is an enormous crater that marks the entrance to the city. There is an area out here called the Outer Plate that is home to all this farmland. There are smaller kind of stone buildings and cottages, fields and animals, outdoor markets and places for people to trade, people kind of waving

as you guys are coming by. And you guys kind of just try to blend in with the crowds. They're kind of keeping your distance. So the descriptor of U3 doesn't flag anybody right away. This is for this outdoor kind of areas for people who prefer to live with kind of the comforts of this big city, but don't want to be completely subterranean. So there's a lot of halflings you see, humans and hildorbs, and this sort of pastoral-like landscape is in great juxtaposition to the strong military presence. You see there are airships and zeppelins,

ground crawlers, and land speeders. Some of them representing the kind of mothership blue and other troops are from Iron Deep Proper. These soldiers are wearing a dark steel plate mail with silver anvil sigils on white tabards and instead of kind of the over cool badass but kind of dumbly designed chain saw blades, they wield these magical warhammers

that seem to give off in arcane power. So they are using magitech as well. Just looks like maybe they don't rely on it quite as much. And at the gate of the city itself, you see an enormous statue of Mordon, the patron god of the dwarves, holding his hammer upside down with the head at the bottom, the statue of Mordon splits the cave opening into an entrance and an exit with people kind of, a lot of people coming in and coming out even at this time at night. The sun has just gone down, so there's a lot of people that maybe were working outside of the city,

they're going back home, and a lot of people that maybe were working inside the city coming back out. But a lot of movement here, this is a very old, very big city. As we pass it, can I look at the statue and say, is that your god? Yeah, yeah, I guess you could say it was. I've never been a very religious man, though. How do you pay your respects to the statue? Oh, God. I, I dab being juice on my hands and I do kind of holy trinity. I'm sorry, Murph.

And I do kind of holy trinity. I'm sorry, Murph. I do a hard one. You wielded the King's hammer, which was said to have been handed down from Mordin himself to the original Kings. And he's known as the Master of the Forge, a great builder. So people will bring bricks to be blessed before they build their house or they'll, you know, less literal It'll be somebody, you know, will bring a quill because they're about to start writing something new or warriors will bring weapons or things like that Would it be impolite to

Bang my fist against it to try and forge my fist. Yeah, you go ahead and you raise your fists up to this statue of Mordyn the Great master of the forge here. Yeah, go ahead and give me a religion check. 15? 15, yeah. You go over, you kind of inflate your fists and get close to the statue and kind of kneel a little bit and look up to it. And you feel a little bit of like a rush of inspiration and you see a few like dwarven paladins and a few of the guards that are maybe changing shifts nearby who are kind of having their hammers blessed or just like kneeling in respect kind of give you a little nod as they walk into the city.

All right. Yeah. I patch you on the back. I think I go to like make it a little flower to show my respects, but I think I see this cave and stuff, and I think I use my icy powers to make just a little leg type. Nice, yeah. In difference, because I've recently learned that these powerful people

want to show my respect. Yeah, you do the same thing. Yeah, you see, there are people who leave offerings and whatnot. They are getting blessings, but they are leaving things behind as well. So you leave a little stalactite. I don't leave anything. Hard to leave nothing. We'll do it. I'm passing into like his city. So I feel like I need to like show some respect. Yeah. Yeah. I respect I respect these gods I just don't worship one. So I I give I give more than a kind of what's up? Wow, so cool. I tried to do it too, and I get a cricket my neck. I know everybody

You give more than a knot as you guys in, and you cross through the cave entrance amongst a sea of humanity. Your eyes take a minute to adjust as you go from the sort of little bit of the light of the day as the sun goes down to a total darkness and just seeing light by torches and brazgers and magic lanterns. Once you pass this main kind of great hall as you're walking into the city, you see the tunnel opens up into a massive under city. You can't even see where it ends. Miles deep and miles wide. There are lights of magic lanterns

that glow and hover around the nearby public buildings. You see taverns with rowdy patrons drinking and singing, merchants peddling their wares and an enormous another church of Moridan. In addition to more kind of stone carvings and statues on that building, you also see a massive stained glass recreation of the first king of Iron Deep being gifted a hammer by Moriden a top mount forge and amongst all of this kind of beautiful historic stuff there is also a bunch of shitty new stuff that it started popping up recently hard one amongst other kind of random shops and local merchants you can see a

fake ship sticking out of the side of the mountain and with bright neon lights on it, it reads, Mother Ship. No, Mother Ship, Mini Ship, mega shop. This looks to be an all-purpose magic item store similar to the ones you would find in Esri. You see there are also transporters. These big glass booths covered in magitech and glowing ruins. Hard one, these are new. Even you saw kind of some of this mothership type stuff. They used to be bronze beard industries. It seems like maybe they completely folded into mothership

at this point, but back in the day, it was kind of they had their own magitech company. Some of this stuff's been popping up, but even more has popped up in the past three years. Yeah, you see transporters that are these big glass booths covered in Magitech and glowing runes. And occasionally you'll see like a mothership employee, either a soldier or like an agent in a blue suit,

get in one of the booths, which performs a body scan and then teleports them to wherever it is they're going. Mm. And that is the kind of southern half here of the upper plate and what you can see here. The whole city is built on a ring, so there's a huge hole in the middle that will take you down deeper into the mountain. There is a nearby kind of invisible barrier that reflects just a little bit of light preventing citizens from falling down.

You can also see various flying cable cars and transports lowering people to the different areas below, and you even see a few of the more brazen commuters with these like wrist hooks, zip lining, deeper down into the city. Wow. Whoa. I've never been here before.

Feels like I haven't either. Yeah, I only read about it. It's incredible. Is it? I tried to turn my face away from the stained glass because I'm not looking to get caught up in some sort of aesthetic frenzy. I just stare straight ahead and I'm like, all right, we've got business to do. Lead the way, hard one. business to do lead the way out one

Oh look at the pretty staying gas Yeah, so you guys want to just go straight to the castle. You don't want to tour the church or anything Maybe get some food for research. Do you want to see the stained glass? Yes. I could use sustenance and information Yeah, all right great. Let's take this thing, Gloss. Yes, I could use sustenance and information. Yeah, alright. Great. Let's take a wide laugh. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are companies that make pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Yeah, hard one. You know that the castle that Jaina would be in or where she lives is basically on the other side of the upper plate. It is still a lot of the stuff up here is, is the public stuff. There's like government buildings and things like that. And below is where people live.

That's where like the locals are. But yeah, you see that there is a big tavern here called the Tipped Goat that has been there for a while. So I know the Tipped Goat. So you know the Tipped Goat. You probably don't know. You might still know the bartender there or something because it's probably just a very old guy

who was a very young guy when you were young. What's the story behind the name of the Tipped Goat? Yeah. The information purposes. I always assumed it was when you need to drink, you need to tip the goat so you can suck at the tea just to go. Oh, okay.

Of course, I imagine that's 100% what it is. Well, that's what the sign has a picture of. Right, it's people drinking out of a tip over goat. Yeah, it's been a long time they've been trying to censor it. You would think it would be because like goats are in the mountains and they would be like the goat's drugs. It's like tipped over but no, no, no. It's all about sucking goat others.

And you see graphically several people sucking goat others on the big tavern. So I mean, is that like a specialty there? It's like goat smoke. Yeah, it's just like when you get like a ski with a bunch of shots on it we can all sit from one tee. I always just drank beer but we could probably go in and ask for a goat to it. Yeah, so there's um yeah, there's this tavern up here and there is also in addition to this church and other public buildings and stuff. There is another bar that's a little bit further away. That is new hard one. It has a neon sign that marks this as Lay Lantern. You see, the decor is all bougie-ass restaurant.

It's very bougie. You've not seen this before. Lay Lantern. It's not. It does sort of clash. We're drinking a goat tit since I was seven. I'm trying to tips they have with the lantern. I don't know. Once I get there, great ones.

Yeah, up top. Really got a great one, but please, can we please go to the tip? Go. You can see floating lanterns, even from the outside, flashing cool blues and purples. You can hear music thumping from inside, and there was a long line outside. Don't be wooed by the lights and the crowds. And occasionally you will. I'm blind, it's good.

Occasionally you will see important looking mothership officials, like people in like blue surcoats and stuff, we'll just walk past the balsars and walk right in. Seems like a place to get some information. They have potato skins in here. I'm telling you guys, at the tip coat, okay? They have chili bean tots.

I was really missing those because we didn't go to the sonic. If they have tots, then they'll have chili bean tots because we're packing the beans, all right. It really, see, okay, so this is very good information because mothership people are coming in out of this. I bet they have like a secret transfer there.

Oh, fine, we can go to Llantern. We don't have to. I mean, I don't even know. We're looking for chances anyway. I think we put a pen in Llantern for now. Yeah. Double back to Llantern if we need more information, but we just need like a quick tie and then we got ahead to join our tour of ahead to the go. Yeah, you

go to this warmly lit bar and hard one, I'll let you tell me how you feel about it because this place feels weirdly very much the same and yet it was not the place where like locals went right because it's like up on the upper plate it's where people are coming into the city where people that are like staying at the in upstairs and stuff are staying at so this is a massive like multi level tavern but as you go in it's like there's real candles on all the tables you see kind of wax melting over and all these big wooden banquet tables. And this is probably a place that you thought was kind of dorky growing up.

But now you go in and you see there's no mothership employees, there's no weird tech. It's just an old guy behind a bar slinging ails to people from all over. Yeah. We used to make fun of people for coming here, but at least it's been here for 200 years. Why didn't you come to them?

You know, going up to the plate level, not drinking down in the middle of the mines, like the rest of us. Yeah. Where did you grow up? I grew up down there in that hole. Wow. Yeah, grew up at the Dwarf and Hitch. Imagine it's still down there.

Do you want to visit it? Don't you see it? Wouldn't mind swinging by. Do you want to get drunk and go look at it? Wouldn't mind stumbling by. So we get the outer to go. Yeah, let's get two beers to walk. I give my hands to the bartender like their Lego hands,

with just a little slob to put into beers. Yeah, great. Two beers please. Yeah, you guys go up to this old bartender and hard one you do recognize this older dwarf gray hair, bags under his eyes, big kind of bushy beard. And this guy's name is Darnam and you knew him when he was kind of the young bar back going around and slinging beers everywhere but now he's the one kind of behind the bar. And are you kind of keeping a little profile,

trying to not be, I know we made the joke about the pig tails, but like how in cognito are you right now? I think I don't, I think that I would have at least a some reputation here, and I wouldn't want it buzzing around that I'm here in your back. Okay, so you're like, hood up, trying not to be.

Okay, do you want, if you are trying to be discreet, I can know and knows me here. Yeah, I'm gonna slink right into a booth. But I do wanna think in my head that like, I do often trust a bartender. Yeah, so can I think back on Darnum, and if he was ever like cool to us when if I ever came here,

or if I know anything about it? Yeah, I'll say that, if I know anything about it. Yeah, I'll say that you would know, Darnum. I'll say that Darnum used to sling beers at a watering hole that was deeper in the plate and is now up here kind of holding court. And it looks like he may have gotten to move up a little bit in the world or something. He's working at the bar that he used to talk shit about. I think we're Darnum. All right, Darnum. or something, he's working at the bar that he used to talk shit about. I'm super darn him.

I have to imagine he'd be an ally too because it's probably hate fucking mothership for their lanterns. Elbowing in. I think what I'll do is I will sit in the booth just so there's not any like public recognition but relay this to Callie and Saul. So if you guys make a connection and you want to call them over here to have a quiet conversation though. That seems great.

But you make the call when you talk to them. Yeah, sweet. Yeah, you guys walk up and you see he kind of does a double take because you see that everybody in here is kind of like older dwarves and stuff and older humans and things like that. Hopefully hip young people come into the old bar, huh? Coming to the old goat steet. Yes sir. Well, we hear on business. Okay. We do want a couple of beers and some walk-in tots if you got those. Of course. Goes back, pulls up the fryer, pours you some tots into a basket. It reflects too, to solve, to double up on that, sir. My friend over there says congratulations on the promotion.

You see, uh, Darnam looks over a clock's hard one at the table. Takes kind of a moment and then there's a look of recognition on his face and he smiles and goes, remember him being taller. I should have known, I didn't know him before this, except for he caused some damage in the fair while. Oh okay. Anyways, he invited you to have a drink. And congratulations of your promotion.

If you feel so inclined later, you see which booth we're at. And then I try to stow away. I try to stow away. So I'll stay as mine and pays. Great. You pay, yeah, you see Darnam notices that you're kind of trying not to be tracked. Pours you guys some big frosty beers,

put some tots for you guys to know a basket, and brings them over himself instead of giving it to one of the waiters or servers. And sits down with you and crashes a beer down with you. Hard one, sure, but cheers to you, Darnam. Cheers to you. You see, he looks at you, and he probably hasn't even seen you since you became a half-elf It was my understanding That it was a huge part of your identity that you are a human living among storms if I'm not mistaken Mm-hmm. I'm quite old. Yeah, you should be much older and dead. Yeah, you know a lot of things have been changing Right. I mean around here specifically, but yes. Yes. Yeah. You know, a lot of things have been changing. Right.

I mean, around here specifically, but yeah, I've been playing swapping. So I'm... Is that right? You were up there with all that glade-owned business. Yeah. Yeah. So tell us, what did I miss? What did you miss?

You see, looks quick 200 year summary. Right, let me think. I'm sorry, you used to be a human? Oh wait, yeah, hold on. Yeah, I was a human, then I was a vampire. My friend reincarnated me, he got to half fell. She's all new to me as well. That's so crazy.

Oh yeah, but Tarnam, come on, tell us about you. You have a bars. Yes, I changed bars. You managed this, man. I have a darned plot, tell us about you, you have a bar. Yes, I changed bars. You manage this, man. I manage it. Yeah. So as he's kind of talking to you about Iron Deep, and Iron Deep was destroyed at one point.

There was the great kind of cataclysm that the olive brought down, and Iron Deep kind of basically collapsed. And there was a lot of magic and everything that was used after her defeat to bring kind of basically collapsed and there was a lot of magic and everything that was used after her defeat to bring kind of everything back and to build everything and Darnam goes on to explain how he kind of got the goat and goes, you know, when we rebuilt they didn't bring it back and I weirdly, I missed the old place. Yeah, I mean, he always used to make fun of it, but Iron Deep is an Iron Deep without the tip to go.

Yeah, yeah, I made a new weird sign too. Did you see that? It looks so, so good. Thank you. You're really, it really sells the idea that you're drinking from the tea. That's what we're doing for. But yeah, a lot of stuff.

It's really teetful. Yeah. Are you an artist, sir? You know, I certainly pay artists to make weird pictures for me. But anyway, yeah, a lot of stuff has changed around here. Suddenly you feel the entire bar shakes as there's just a massive earthquake within the city. Is this normal? You see, yeah, hang on, you see

Darnam reaches his hands out and just covers all the beers and then it stops after a moment Anyway, what were we talking about? Have you been here since the weird quakes that have been popping up? No, that was new to me. The weird quakes and lay lanterns Like, what's going on? Yeah, they lanterns That's really a pretty rough one I'm really fucking laylant I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I learnt it. That's really a big surprise.

I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, like let's make fun of it by just like going through what they've overpriced. Like terrible drinks. Right, right, right, but like what's on the menu? They may even have to. They do, they do weird tops, okay? Yeah, yeah, they do. They do.

They just describe it to me in detail. Okay. They do, they do what they call artisan. They do what they call artisanal tots. What they call artisanat tots. Artisanat tots. I would have to be like a deconstructed potato. It's a deconstructed potato. They make a deconstructed potato.

What they do is they fry the outside, but then they take out the fried part. And they just have the white part of the potatoes. It's just a baked potato. Exactly. They were exactly the same. They make this to me. This is the only deconstructed. I can't get behind it. Okay, and they just have the white part of the potato and they put exactly They only take a shot. I can't get behind all they do and then they have the little part the like white part of the potato Just the potato no skin and then eat just a little just a little meat of the potato and they'll put just like a little sauce But not enough that you really get a good

Dipping or is it for dipping it's sort of to play Really get a good day. It's an A-O-L-E. It's not a-we know-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it-it Right, what do you think? These are the hollow jobs? These are the hollow jobs. Darn it, you're job. You're a bit bad. That's why you pay your artist so well. Darn it. That's why you're the freaking goat. Darn it, I'm thankful. I'll take free more. Otherwise, I'm gonna tell everyone what you do in.

Right, right, right. Anyway, the kind of quakes that are going on around here, that's Grom, Dal, Bronzebeard, okay? Dicking. Sorry. Are they mining something? No, they're not mining something. Apparently he had some kind of crazy illegal animal thing going on. He had a bunch of giant dragons and

Basilisks and all these monsters and everything and apparently something got loose and is deep down in the mines and they're having a hard time getting it but he's in the dungeons now. Hey, I need those NATO skins now. I need to talk to my friends. Yeah, you see, Darnam goes, yeah, no problem, I'll cook up another basket for you guys.

Alright, thanks Darnam. Hey, fuck Layland, right? Fuck Layland, everyone at once yields fuck Layland, Darnam goes, yeah, no problem. I'll cook up another basket for you guys. Alright, thanks, Darnam. Hey, fuck Layland, right? Fuck Layland, everyone at once yells, fuck Layland, Darnam. Yeah! Okay, hard one song. Okay. And you see, uh, Foster's eyes begin to glow red. Okay.

First time that's happened in a while. So this is fucked. This means that he could have, I don't know if we've told you anything, hard one. Basically, there was an ache that he tried to acquire from my family smuggling business and I fucked over the deal Okay, I thought to my sister got it because we've been sparring since my mother died It's really really fucking petty but also like deep okay, whatever the point is that He was trying to get this magical egg and this makes me think that he's acquired another

and very important magical egg. Yeah, which is clearly hatched as well. Yes. And this, okay, so this egg. I was like hiding fosters, glowing red eyes. Wham. This does it. Wham.

So, okay, well, if this egg is powerful in the wrong hands, then Gromdol, he's got the wrongest hands you can imagine. Yeah, okay. So, we need to get colder we do, but I have made a promise to a very powerful person that I will fucking get these animals out of harm's way. Okay, yeah. I'm also a clone, I didn't mention that before, but it's worth mentioning too. Just while we're getting everything on the table.

Yeah, all right. Also, I'm calling it an animal, but actually it was a prophecy that was hatched to destroy the world. Mm-hmm. By someone who wishes they didn't do it. Do you know Oberon? You seem to know everyone. Man, oh, man, you guys are unloading a lot on me.

At least let me finish this beard. I will say that what you guys heard Darnam say is that apparently based on this thing escaping Gromdall got busted and is in the dungeons of the cast. The political prisoner. Oh, so he got busted, but maybe this thing has been the thing is loose. Loose. Okay, I think that's better. It's better. It's slightly better because Gromdall doesn't have it. No one has it. No one has it. But that means this beast is up for grabs potentially or scared and wreaking havoc. Yes, I think, yeah, if we can get there, I think we can talk it down

and I think we can get back to its mother. Yeah, and we'll get to your friend, but this takes priority. Unfortunately, I think so. Okay, I'm ready for the tots now Great. Yeah, it's please Darnam comes back gives you guys some more tots gives you guys another beer So all just a paint a picture is individually taking tots with his tongues We just go like yeah, right up right up right up

Why are we talking? Hey to eat and run Darnam, but uh It's good to see you congrats on everything Hard one tips him every single dollar that he has You give him a bunch and he goes to give you a handshake and kind of brings you in and you feel him very Columnsly slip the tip back into your pocket just in case you need it They call this the tip to go You need it. So that's why they call this the tiptoe. Yeah, the go tipsy right now.

It's because you're sucking on the goat's nipples. Yeah, it's right there on the edge. It's a triple on Tadra, obviously. We used to draw it outside of the bar, but now it's the real bar sign. Yeah, I used to, yeah, let's figure out how to feed it this way. All right, see you around Ardwin.

All right, all right, see you at Ardwin. Alright, alright, see you at Darnam. Okay, we got a really hurry, but should we like do just like some light defacement of Llantern before we go? Oh, I guess, I guess we could, I don't know if we want to be spotted by any of the mothership employees. I think like maybe, absolutely, if that's where your heart is calling you. I don't want to get in the way of that, but I'm going to try to maybe make a beeline for this scared creature. Great.

Yeah, all you know, Darnam conveyed to you that it is somewhere in the mountain. In the mountain? Yeah, it is. Like deep below iron deep, yes. In the hole that we saw? Perhaps. Okay.

Should we check in with Jaina first? The castle is up here. Okay. And if this beast is loose in the mountain, then I have to know that Jaina's people are working on it. So maybe we can gather some intel. Let's share what we have. Let's share what we know with her.

Okay. Okay. You guys walk out of the tipped goat. I flip off, like lantern, but with my hand in my pocket. Yeah, just a client actor rebellion. Yeah, you walk along and at the northern edge of the city, you find the gates of Iron Deep Castle. It is built into the cave wall, but the stonework is so good that it actually looks like an entirely different structure. The rocks have been shaped

to look like these smooth stone bricks. There are intricate carvings of hammers and forges, along with giant pillars, with banners. There are giant banners for Iron deep proper, these white and silver forges, along with guards sporting tabert with jane's own take on the bronze beard crest. This is a bronze hammer on a black and white background. And outside the gates, you see there are elite guards with large warhammers standing at attention. Quick question as we're walking. Yeah, you mentioned that like, mother ship has taken over and kind of merged with like, bronze beard incorporated, what's their name? Bronze beard industries.

Okay. And then you said that we saw mother ship bronze. Mother ship bronze is just what the bronze beards call their merger with mother ship. That's just, that's one faction they're united. Jaina is against her family. Her faction is just the government of Iron Deep. I'm just trying to get a sense of if there's like if like they're fully merged, if there's like contingent between the two factions, I probably can't you see people.

Yeah, yeah, I'll say I'm going to give me a perception check. We're in sight as you are walking around Iron Deep. You can do it with advantage. Just in 11. I'll say, even with an 11, you can kind of gather walking around. You saw some off-duty iron deep guards and stuff that were hanging out at the tiptoe goat. You see, as you're walking around, there is some intermingling, and you would imagine there are some people that are maybe corrupt and pocketing money

like working for Iron Deep, but telling things to mothership and whatnot, but mothership are basically mercenaries, slash like military contractors. So it's like the crown is a little bit in debt to them, but doesn't want to fully give over to them. Hard one knows that they're kind of the Iron Deep government here is a besides just the monarch.

There is also like a high council that is like 30 people So there is an intermingling because of corrupt politicians and stuff where Mother ship is heavily involved in the government, but there is some separation Okay, that could completely go away at some point like they straight up have soldiers in the city, bad news, bad news, not good. Yeah. But these iron deep guards at Janus Castle do not look like they are mothership guards. And are Janus political rivals? Are they, they're operating in the open or they're, they're operating in the open because it is just trying to like so like distrust their like her political rivals. She's kind of seen as when she was made the queen, you know that the thought behind

it was the idea of basically having this this like war hero as a a symbol of the old iron deep to prevent what is happening from happening. If not for Jaina, it is likely, and kind of the support of the people who as much as they love their magical bobbles and all of this fun new tech, they do feel faithful to Jaina Bronzebeard. And without Jaina,

there's not really much else probably that whole thing out. Right, they vote on who the monarch is. They like switch people out basically every like 50 years. And if Jaina dies, if somebody kills Jaina or something, you can bet there's a good chance it'll be a mothership puppet or just somebody who will get steamrolled by mothership. Right. Okay. Yeah. So there's tension. Certainly. Yeah. I mean, I don't see a way around just going up to these guys and asking to see, no, Jaina.

Yeah, that sounds good to me. Okay. Your friends with her, right? I'm friends with her. Yeah. I have to be honest, I don't know if these guys. Yeah, you absolutely don't know these very young guards having been gone for almost 200 years. Right.

It's like a 25-year-old standing Just standing there with a hand-bod. What's going on? But they would know who Hard One shortens. Yeah. So I think I'm going to just have to go up as confidently as I can. Great. And just straight up. Great.

I'm going to hit you with some fay inspiration. Thank you. Great. Hard one as you walk up. You see, you kind of got like a cloak on. You're trying to disguise yourself a little bit. These guys kind of have their hammers held at their side and then they cross it to block the door

and the one guy puts his hand up to stop you. When you reveal your face, you see that there is a look of recognition from the guards. I say in Dwarven, we're here to see the general. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage. Nice. 17, and I'll use the Bardic. 18.

18, okay. That happens. These guards kind of look wide eyed, look at each other, like kind of like, are you seeing what I'm seeing and look back and they go, they almost kind of fan boy out for a moment. Hard but short foot, what are you doing here? Okay, back up guys, back up.

Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. Yeah, let us go get prond to pee. Okay, sorry. Okay, well, look, we can't let anyone into the castle right now because we can't, why don't we let you, I'm gonna go for a second and we'll be right back, but I'm not supposed to tell you stuff, okay? sir, I

Give them a predator handshake great, and I and I say thank you, but why why aren't we supposed to go in there? We're under orders that um, and nobody's can can visit right now It's something wrong. Is there some sort of emergency? I? can't. Let me keep my on. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you know what? I'm definitely going to let you keep you on a... And I look at him and I cast a tech thought. Okay. On the top of his head, I'll say he doesn't even have to do a save.

That I assumed it would be. He's panicking. Yeah. And in his head, he's thinking the general is not here. The general is not here. I don't, I try to steal my reaction to it till he walks away. Great. Yeah, you see he nods to the other guard

who kind of stands there, still kind of like fanboying out, looking up at you. Was it cool when you went to space? I had the same question. Guys, come on. It was awesome. It was awesome. It starts fanboying out.

You see the other guy goes, wait until I get back to ask about space, God damn it. You see, yeah, this one guy runs in and comes back a moment later. And you see a small nomish woman in black and bronze regalia, dark silver hair with gray eyes. She wears a long robe with a high collar that reaches up the back of her neck.

And she goes, great things. I am advisor Zaline, to whom do I have the pleasure of welcoming to Iron Deep Castle? Besides, of course, the great hero, hard one, Shorefoot. Hazelene. My name is Maeve Heypenny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Go ahead and give me a deception. 12. Nice to meet you, Maeve. Looks at you with a...

I coughed my head too. With a cocked head. You can cock your head, I can cock my head too. Is that right? That's ever cocked off. And she stares at you for a beat, Saul. Oh, just no one important, hard one's friend. I don't think hard one, Shorfat, would hang out with anyone unimportant.

We're all important. Ah. Salve. Salve? Salve me, huh? Welcome to Iron Deep Salve. Yes. Now that you've met my friends, and may have, heyve them. Yes. Now that you've met my friends and may have had Penny,

yes. We'd like a word with Jane at her, you know, at her pleasure. Yes. Well, General Bronzebeard is unfortunately busy with matters of the state. But I can pass a message along to her if there's anything you'd like to tell me. No, I think I'm good. You're good. Yeah, okay. We can just wait for her to get back Well, she will be back tomorrow would be good tomorrow would tomorrow work for you Do you want to just go to your old room at the castle? We can stay there Yes, we'd be happy to put you up in in one of the many in's that iron D passed to offer

One of the in's is there a room here at the castle that we could stay at? Unfortunately, we're all full. Okay. All full. Okay. Zaline. And you want us to, are you seeing us out? I don't understand what's happening. Yeah, it's unfortunate.

I see. Mm-hmm. Well, there's been a long time since you've been here. Three years hard one. That is a long time. Three's not that many much has changed Yes, I mean, I don't think I remember Jaina having an advisor. Well, how long have you been working here two and a half years? Incredible Congratulations. Hmm. Do you guys have like a discount code? We do have a discount

Layland turn not to really my kind of spot Okay, but like, Yeah, it's hard to get in. The ins. The ins? Yes, I can get you a room at a small inn. Let me go ahead and write down the address for you. Okay.

I would love to know which one you suggest. You see a little woman of class, so when I travel, it's so hard to find accommodation. Yeah, that's our main. That's right. Mave and solve them hard to find accommodation. Yeah, that's our main. That's right. Yes. Maven Salbum.

Salbum. Yeah, right. Excellent. Yeah, you see, she motions to someone nearby who runs over and brings her like a little quill. And you see, she writes something down real quick,s over and hands it to you, hard one. And you see an address on the lower plate, which is not where most of the ends are.

And you see she shoots you a look, then looks around at all of the witnesses around her, and then walks back. Oh, I believe the tipped goat will have rooms for you at a discount. I'm old friends of the owner, Darnam. Damsely, I think I had y'all wrong. Wow. I mean, yeah. Thanks for the, uh, thanks for the voucher. Thank you. Excellent. And we will see you tomorrow.

Yes. Yes, and we will see you tomorrow. Yes, yes you will. You walk away from the castle as you see Zaline joins guards, and you see that there are other advisors and stuff with her. You clocked that the guards there seemed kind of on the level, like they were kind of dudes that were like, shit man, we can wear a fucking Jaina bronze beard. Like they seemed kind of on the level, but you never know who you can trust.

There were eight to 10 other people within your shot. Mm-hmm, okay. Hey. Um, what the fuck was that about? Yeah, is that like an ex-girlfriend of something? Hardware bags is brand. I'm trying to remember. I mean, definitely not.

I mean, there's no ins down at this level. Yeah, I was kind of like, I didn't trust her. So I was like baiting her into telling us where she would put us. And then I wanted to see if she tried to fuck with a room there. But then now it feels like she's trying to communicate something to you like a meeting place for like another another go at it. I thought she was brushing us off with that chilly demeanor but maybe she was trying to fuck you. I mean hard one is a gasp for a second. Hold on wait wait let me see that piece of paper. Oh, the eyes, their hearts. Really?

Yeah. Hard of holding it up to the light. Shit. It's a leap. Can I do a detect magic on it to see if it's like, identify or anything? Yeah, yeah. You cast a detect magic on it? There is no magic on it.

Okay, okay. So the question is, do we meet her at this location? Was they say fuck you? Or what? Well, you heard that Jaina's not here. Jaina's not here. I think the if we if we can trust this is a secret message, then maybe this is where Jaina is, maybe it's a safe house for her. Okay. Or maybe, maybe Zillie wants to be there, which would be crazy, but not that crazy. Right.

Right? No matter what, like we shouldn't all free of us, just wait there because if it's a trap, that's bad, we're all trapped. If she's trying to fuck you, then she's gonna walk in, be like, you totally misread this situation. I'm getting out of here. I'm gonna go there with no expectations.

I don't care either way. It's casual to me. But why not? We should probably, I'm gonna go. Just like wash your balls, right? I'm gonna wash my balls. I might take a shower, I might take a lab back through town, get a boot K.

Is that weird if I show up? Is it weird if I show up with the boot-k or is that more of a next day thing? I think like have the boot-k ready, and if you need to spread the flower petals on the bed, you're ready. Wait, this is, we need to find Krugin, because he's gonna have a really good not shower for you.

Who? Krugin. Krugin. Krugin. Yes. Yes. You know about it, aren't you? Who? Who? Who? Krugin! Krugie! Krugie! Yes! Krugie! Yes! You know, you know better than I do. But you said Krugin, I was like, who is this? Yeah, I know, I know.

Because you get to call him Krugie, even though I can't. Yeah, you think he has a ball bath. I'm telling you, he's the kind of guy that needs it and uses it. Does that make sense? Okay, let's... You know, you can't deny that mothership hasn't vented a very nice ball bath. Okay.

And like I said, I don't care what happens either way. Let's be safe, just play it cool. Yeah, yeah. I'll wash, I'll wash, obviously. You'll wash, obviously. Yeah, I'm sure, yeah. Because I would do that anyway. I should do that regardless.

Yeah, I think so. And let's get it bouquet, because that could be for Janna. I make you a bouquet. You have bouquet of flowers. You go back to the tent to go and wash your balls in the sink. Oh, darn, I'm spanging on the door. What are you doing in there? Darn it.

Darn it. Hey, baby has a day. OK, give him some space. Oh, back off. Look, I could do this at Leyland, or anything you want. Oh, no. Please wash the balls here.

Any true son of Iron Deva washes balls at the tip, come. You're a good dog, Darnam. Okay. Okay, let's go. Pac-Haw, I feel nervous for you. My palms are sweaty. Is this gonna really happen? Cause now I'm thinking back at the My father is sweaty. It's gonna really happen.

Because now I'm thinking back at the way she was looking at me. It was like, it was cold, but it was almost too cold. Yeah, right, and she said one thing and wrote another. That's so funny. It's so funny. It was so flirty. I'm gonna give you another fucking fake inspiration, okay? Thank you.

And I'm a fucking hope that you need this when you're fucking deep in there. Ha! Ha! Hard one jumpskips like he's in the wizard of odds to start walking towards the wall. You begin walking towards the center of the upper plate here. And do you think, I'll say hard one,

you probably have on you one of these hooks that hooks onto the cables that'll let you swing down or you can wait for a cable car. I gotta go in with style. Yeah. Yeah. Because she might be the L-M-T. Yeah.

All right, cool. Okay, sweet. Hard one, yeah, you jump up, you throw the hook up on one of the cables. Hard one does this like it's walking. It is second nature to him. So hard one, go ahead and roll. Athletic check with advantage.

And you guys can roll with advantage as well, kind is second nature to him. So hard one, go ahead and roll, athletic check with advantage, and you guys can roll with advantage as well, kind of following along after him. It's a 26 for me. Great. 26, sacrifice. All right, 19 for salt. Sick, yeah, you guys successfully swing down, I'm beginning rapidly picking up speed.

It is terrifying when you're not used to it, but exhilarating, hard one. This became kind of doldrum at a certain point, it. Wow. But exhilarating, hard one. This became kind of dull drum at a certain point, but it kind of feels exhilarating to be back in iron deep and be back riding the cables like you used to. Tots in my stomach. Tots in my hands.

Tots in my hands. And I'm on my way to see about a girl. Look up in your future. And yeah, you, you. I'm so excited for you. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I'm 226. This is amazing. And yeah, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you split in a separate sections. One area, hard one you would know is where there are massive estates like the people,

like the bronze beards, that's probably where they live. And that's where they lived when you were a kid. And then you see that there are kind of the normal neighborhood where the average person lives. That's more kind of like tightly packed stone houses. There are a couple of bars and things like that down here, but for the most part, this is a neighborhood where people live.

And are you guys heading for this address? Yeah, I spray binoccan, my mouth, and I walk towards the address. You guys head towards this area, and you guys get away from some of the houses to a more quieter, less built up area. You have to walk a little bit deeper into like a tunnel. And eventually you guys find a little chapel.

And unlike the enormous church that you saw on the upper level, this one doesn't have anything flashy. It's well built and made of stone, but the signage is all in wood. It is marked as a chapel to the forge. It is quaint, but you do notice that it has a hole in the roof where it looks like some debris may have fallen through. This is so crooked and aesthetic. You are sick. Classy understated.

I feel I'm curious. You see, there are real, non-magic braasures out here to mark the entrance, but only embers in the pits. It looks like these have not been tended to tonight, and the door is strangely closed, and there is a sign on it that reads closed for repairs. All right, so he is handwriting. Give me a history check with advantage. Just a 10.

Can't really tell. It's written kind of in block letterings, not very specific. I'm going to go scout out the bed situation for a hard one. I'm going to jump up onto the roof and look at the goal. Saul, you jump up on the roof and climb across and you see that yeah it looks like a a big rock may have come down been shaken loose from these quakes that are happening and I'll say you've even felt probably another one in the meantime since you felt the one at the bar like everything begins to shake again

you hear the rattling of the cottage below you and Saw you climb along the chapel and you look through the hole in the roof and you see rows of long wooden pews and there are stone carvings of like holy figures and paintings of Dwarven imagery you see some of the street lights out here, these like, you know, bracers and torches and whatnot, are reflecting off of,

you see like sparkling dust of geodes and crystals, reflecting the dim light in the chapel down here, and are you being stealthy? Yes, okay, go ahead and give me a stealth check. I'll say you can take your time to do with advantage. Just in 11. Saul, you hear a little bit of creaking as you shift your weight on top of the roof up here

and you look down and you see the top of a bald spot on an older dwarf man with gray hair looking down at an altar. And as this creek echoes through, you see in a flash throws a knife about you. Can I try and catch it? Go ahead and use your reaction. I get to reduce the damage. 1d10 plus 14. Cool. 16, you slap your hands together and lightning quick, catch this knife, and see Forgefather Krugan from down in the chapel. So, what the hell are you doing up there, man? That didn't you wait a greeting old friend? You scared the shit out of me, getting, getting, getting, getting. Okay.

I look down at Callie and Hardwan and I make the sign of the beard for her. And that's where we'll end our session. So it's not a date. So it's not a date. It's fine. I wasn't expecting anything. We'll see. Hey, we'll see.

We don't know where the night's going to take us. I mean, she sent us a father, Grogens, so I like her. Anything else? Anything else? Oh, maybe Grogens gonna give us all makeovers. Yes. Or maybe we want to get married first, is that it? Yes. That's what I brought to you. Mary me. You should take her to Italy, man. Oh, dude. All right, man. Oh, dude.

All right, Tom. Let's go ahead and wrap this one up. Thank you so much for listening. If you want to listen to our after show, the short rest, you can do that over on patreon.com slash nadpod. That's NADD, POD, don't sing yet. Don't do it. Don't do it.

Come on. Is there anything we'd like to plug? Ooh, I would actually like to plug the old beard oil company. Oh, whoa. The sisters don't split it off. East Rock Botanicals. I've been kicked out.

Yeah, it's not Brother Sister beard oil. Oh, as long as I'm not supporting you, I know you're no longer supporting me. East Rock Botanicals, that's what it's called. Check it out. Oh, okay, sweet. I would love to plug friends of the museum, which is Tony Wilson, who is like an old college humor guy,

an old dorkly collaborator. He has a little Instagram called Friends of the Museum that he runs now. And it's all of these intricate little practical sets that he builds and does little sketches and videos with them. They're really cool and the artistry of them is insane. So please check it out, Friends of the Museum, Artists of the Gram. Sweet, yeah, check it out. And also, you can check us out on social media that we're merely not used at C.H. Marshmere, at Caldice College, at J.C. Herbets' Jake,

at the Extra Demole, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag, NADPod, that's any DDPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are, we are, the youth of the nation. It's the end of the show, Arbonne, and you know what that means? It's time to shout out our Benevolent Council of Elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S, HUC, later Mixgator, Matt M, Cutter W Feared Ow I got it Daniel G

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